Over the years, Derpy had gotten to know Karyn’s college town fairly well. As they walked along the streets that day, Karyn had to confess to herself that she could not say the same about Ponyville.

“I’ve never been over to this part of town,” she said. “Where exactly are we meeting today’s guest?

“I’m not exactly sure myself. She gave me a list of directions instead of just telling me where to go. Of course, she’s not a pegasus pony, so she might think that this is easier, but it’s annoying nonetheless.”

Derpy knew how to follow directions to the letter, so that’s what she did, even though some of them made so sense. There was no point in going up one street, making a right, walking a block, making another right, and then walking another block when she could have just turned right at the first street. Either whoever had written the directions knew even less than Karyn about Ponyville, or she was intentionally making Derpy take a circuitous route.

As she reached the third leg of this unnecessary square, a hissing came from one of the alleys nearby. Between Ponyville’s buildings there was nothing to be feared, and Derpy thought that it was just someone who wanted some privacy. As she passed it, the hiss became unmistakable.

“Psst! Derpy Hooves! Down here!”

She doubled back with Karyn making a wider turn. The alley was dimly lit, but the sun was out. Still, it made Karyn laugh to see a pony wearing a trenchcoat and fedora, the latter item pulled down over her eyes. She did know who it was, since she had consulted the list, but she felt the disguise would have been seen through by anypony.

“Trixie? What are you doing back here?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not want anypony else to know that The Great and Powerful Trixie is in town. Her name is not exactly well-respected in Ponyville.”

Before Derpy could get confused, Karyn stepped in and said, “Please remember to speak normally in front of Derpy.”

“Right. I am sorry. Quick, now. Perform your magic and let us quit this burg!”

Derpy recovered. It’s not that easy. We have to go up to the clock tower in the center of town, otherwise you’ll wind up too low on Earth and get squished.”

It was more forceful than Karyn would have been, but Trixie was still shocked more than she should be. “We have to go to town square?! Everypony will see me!”

“Can’t be helped. We’ll go quickly so that if they do, it won’t be for long and they won’t have time to stop you.”

“Very well.”

Derpy tossed away Trixie’s directions and used her own sense to take the shortest route. If anything, the only reason anypony would have noticed something out of the ordinary was the fact that, in addition to her outfit, Trixie had chosen to lower her head, walk on the points of her hooves, and slide behind every obstacle on the way.

They greeted the tower guard, who Trixie eyed extra carefully, then went up to the tower. They went through their briefing on how to use the spell, and then activated them.

Once on Earth, Trixie made a move to throw off her coat. “Ha-ha! At last, I am—“

“Not yet!” said Karyn. “We have to get inside. Or invisible.”

“Or both,” added Derpy, who was already flying towards Karyn’s door. Trixie, now without an audience, had to follow.

The door slammed, and now she completed her motion. “Ha-ha! At last, I am free to display my glory!”

“If that makes you happy. You’ll have to go invisible if you want to go outside.”

“I do? Then how will all the humans bask in the radiance and magnificence that is me?”

Karyn braced herself, expecting Trixie’s fireworks to go off right in the middle of her apartment. Fortunately, she had not brought them along, or, if they needed some of her magic, she declined to use it.

“Did you read what we sent around asking if ponies wanted to come to Earth? It said that they might meet humans directly, but were more there to observe, and were above all not allowed to have any effect on our world.”

“No, I did not read through your brochure. I am far too busy for that. I anticipated bringing my greatness to a whole new group of people, and that is what I intend to do.”

Derpy raced to the door before Trixie could get by. “No, you are not. I will stop you myself if I have to.”

“Do you really think you are a match for me if it came to it?”

Karyn joined Derpy. She had never seen two ponies fight, and didn’t want it to happen in her home. “She might not be, but she doesn’t have to be. If you leave, we won’t stop you. Instead, we’ll go back to Equestria—which, incidentally, will freeze you in time here. We’ll return at the same instant, having informed the princesses that you refused to comply with our common-sense restrictions to keep Earth safe.”

Derpy hit her with the second barrel. “Of course, we might not want to go all the way to Canterlot, even with unlimited time. So we’d go to the nearest princess, which from Ponyville would be Twilight Sparkle.”

They knew that appealing to her fear would not be as effective as appealing to her distaste for Twilight Sparkle on a personal level. “Under the circumstances,” Trixie said, “I will relent.

“But there’s no reason to abandon my plan entirely. Karyn, you could serve as my proxy. We could begin the magic show again until your name is famous all over Humania—“

“Earth,” Derpy said, interrupting, but cutting herself off quickly. She had no fear of Karyn accepting the offer, and hearing Trixie go on was entertaining.

“I’ll supply the magic and you supply the presence and together we can rule the world! All will revere your name in glory! Of course, you’ll have to change your name to Trixie.”

Karyn could no longer hold her laughter, and Derpy’s own chuckles were lost to it. “Let me rattle off some of the reasons why that wouldn’t work. In the first place, I don’t want to be famous. Celebrities on Earth aren’t treated well and they’re not given privacy. Even if I did, I wouldn’t want to use magic from Equestria to get there. If I did want to, I could use my own changeling powers to cook up a swell act, except for the other reason that whatever powers I have or am granted, I have zero stage presence.”

Before Trixie could recover, Derpy stepped in. “Can I ask you something? Why all the ambition now? You were ever so nice when we met you back when you were trying to help Dinky out. You understood that she needed to not try to be a star. Why do you want Karyn to be? And why are you back to your old boastful self?”

“I’m always this way. But back in Equestria, as you say, the princesses can stop me. If not here on Earth, I still want to reach some place where I can have everyone revere me.”

Such a bald-faced statement of her intentions short-circuited the conversation, and Karyn and Derpy let their stares drift to the rest of the room. It was left to Trixie to re-break the ice.

“But, if you will not have your precious planet become my…” she searched her mind to continue the alliteration “…protectorate, then let us follow your original plan and see what amusement may be had.”

Derpy’s eyes flashed confusion, and Karyn said, “She means that she wants to go out. Which was our plan to begin with, but, Trixie, would you give us a moment alone?”

She nodded, and Karyn led Derpy into the bedroom. She hung by the doorway and kept one eye on Trixie as they spoke. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

“I had a guest planned, and I think he could be the perfect person to try to deal with someone like Trixie.”

“Who is it?”

“Do you remember back when we went to—“ Karyn began, but Derpy cut her off. She had been more worried about Trixie making a break for the door, but instead she had picked up her ears and was directing them toward the conversation. Karyn still did not have the instincts to suspect this sort of eavesdropping, but Derpy understood the more precise hearing that ponies had.

“Stop listening in!” she cried, but there was no way to stop her short of letting her out of their sight. But Karyn, now clued in, winked.

“Do you remember where we went right before I got sick that one time?”

It took Derpy a moment. “Aha! Yes, I think that would definitely be a good place to take Trixie. She might even enjoy it.”

They broke their huddle. Trixie, no longer making any pretense of giving them privacy, said, “Very well, let us sally forth and see what it is that you have planned.”

“Ahem. This is where you need to use the invisibility spell. Let me show you how it works so that there are no slip-ups. Or, slips-up?”

Derpy made her wear the saddlebag, showed her how to pull out the spell and return it to its slot, and ensured that she had taken all the necessary steps before taking it from her and putting it her own bag.

“Hey!” Trixie said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t play any tricks and keep it from you. Once we’re back here or in Equestria, I’ll give it right back.”

She grumbled, but had to assent. Derpy joined her and Karyn led the way. Much like the last time they had gone this way, it was a beautiful day, but this time Karyn felt fine and was enjoying herself.

They stopped a block before the church and pointed the building out to Trixie. “That’s where we’re headed. It’s a very important place to a lot of the humans,” said Derpy, “and you need to be on your best behavior there.”

“Beautiful…” For the first time, there was a genuine feeling in Trixie’s voice, a sense of awe. “I didn’t know humans could build places like this.”

“Oh, yes, they’re quite good at building, especially for things they care about. This is a kind of temple.”

“Of course, Karyn, if you had accepted my offer, we could have a building like this dedicated to us!”

Karyn shook her head. “Mostly to you, right?”

“Well, naturally I would expect you as the understanding person you are to know who the real power behind the act would be…but it’s a moot point anyway. Let’s go inside.”

If nothing else, the grandeur of the interior kept Trixie quiet and prevented her from giving them away. They had neglected to give her the extra warning about the superior acoustics of the building, but were taking their chances. Besides, the service was ongoing and, they hoped, she would have manners enough not to interrupt.

As Karyn listened, she remembered the last time she had come. Even sitting in the pews, she had begun feeling faint and couldn’t pay full attention to the sermon. Now she did, and found the preacher quite adept.

Derpy remembered the routine, and she knew when it was about to end. Leaning over to Trixie, she said in a whisper that only pony ears would pick up, “When people start going, just sit tight. It’ll take a long while, and some people will want to linger back anyway. Be patient, because we’re going to have to be the last ones.”

Trixie scoffed, but acceded. Whatever shame lies in sleeping in church, there is none when the service is over, and she probably took a nap. Her snoring gave a slight echo, but that was a sound no one was unused to.

When she came to at the sharp jab of one of Derpy’s hooves, they were alone. She could appreciate the layout of the building even more, but had little time as Karyn led them up the aisle. It was the same path that all the humans took when getting their snack, but there were no more to be had.

Up at the altar, the priest was making a few last gestures of prayer, but he clearly noticed Karyn making her way up to see him. He turned round as she approached.

“Good afternoon, Father,” she said.

In her whisper, Trixie said, “That’s Karyn’s dad?”

“What? No, it’s just a title,” Derpy said quickly, wanting to hear Karyn’s icebreaking.

“I don’t know if you remember me…”

“I try to remember all my parishioners,” the priest said. “When it comes to those who bring miracles with them, I succeed.”

“As to that, I may have to disillusion you. Is there somewhere private we can go?”

“The confessional would be the traditional place.”

Karyn smiled. “It would, but too small for what I need. Maybe one of the meeting rooms?”

The priest, whose name turned out to be Father Lionel, escorted them to one of the side rooms that was rather better lit than the main church. Indeed, it was anachronistically modern. “All right. Now, how can I help you?”

“It’s not a matter of help, or maybe it is, but…Derpy, Trixie, go ahead.”

Karyn watched for his reaction, and while he was startled at the appearance of two invisible ponies, he evinced no surprise at their nature. She explained all about Equestria.

“And so the last time I was here, it wasn’t a miracle. I was showing Derpy the service and she got a little hungry and ate the host herself.”

“I understand now,” he said, “but that doesn’t make it any less a miracle.”

With a smile in his eyes, he greeted the two mares. Derpy responded. “I hope we’re not too shaking to your worldview, Father.”

“Not at all. It takes more than a few talking horses to buckle my faith. Even in the Bible it speaks of a donkey who rebukes his master. I’m sorry, but that’s what’s written.” This was to Derpy, who bristled a little at the mention of a master. “And as was said from the other most quotable source, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy.”

Trixie laughed. “Oh, please. Karyn just explained to you that magic is real and it’s ponies who have it. She’s already showed me that you don’t have any. So pull my other hoof with this book and its tales.”

“We seem to have a skeptic.”

“It’s not a question of skepticism, it’s a question of facts. Your show is very nice— though as a showmare myself I could give you some tips to punch it up—but you can’t be taking it seriously. It’s all mumbo jumbo, while this is real.” She pointed her horn at one of the whiteboards that lined the wall, levitating a marker and drawing a small cartoon of her head.

Karyn was mortified, and Derpy broke a taboo and bopped her on the horn, breaking her spell. “Trixie, stop being mean or we’ll drag you right back to Equestria.”

The smile never left Father Lionel’s face. “No, let her stay. There is much teaching and learning to be done here. Do you think that all this—the service and the worship and such—is about the power to move a few objects? I could do that with my hand. This is about God, and God is good.”

“Do you think that anything you have here on Earth can compare to the alicorn Princesses of Equestria?!”

Derpy cut in. “Oh? So you’re saying that you like the princesses? All of them? Even Twilight?”

“Er, Trixie didn’t say that, I mean, I, I didn’t…certainly respect their power…is a good ruling system…”

Father Lionel laughed. “I don’t know the whole history of what you’re talking about, but it’s clear that Derpy has struck a nerve. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

Perhaps something in his voice kindled some tenderness in Trixie’s heart, or perhaps she was afraid that if she didn’t tell everything, that Karyn or Derpy would, but she opened up and told her story, beginning with the first time she entered Ponyville and was exposed by Twilight Sparkle. She moved on to her exploits on the rock farm before finding out about the Alicorn Amulet and being corrupted. It wasn’t until she talked about Twilight ascending to her crown that Trixie really started to get flustered.

“So let me ask you this,” he said. “Did it make you happy to have beaten this Twilight in the duel you spoke of?”

“Of course! I mean, I understand that it was the influence of the evil magic, but naturally I enjoyed ruling over the town and making everypony do what I told them. Who wouldn’t?”

“I wouldn’t, for one. But all right, you did. So after they redecorated the town and built statues for you and grew apples without peels, what then?”

“I never made it that far. Twilight returned, I told you.”

“But had you not lost, what would you have done?”

Trixie came up short. She was silent for a long time, and when she did speak it was in a halting voice. “Well, whatever I wanted. Just…I would have had fun, bossed them around…I don’t know!”

“And you see my point. The good book says, ‘What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his soul?’ I think that perhaps our two situations are not too dissimilar.”

Trixie’s mouth fell into a kind of puss face, and she slinked off to one of the tables. Before she did, she levitated the eraser and cleared the whiteboard of her drawing.

“May I ask you something, Father?” said Derpy.

“Of course.”

“Trixie said it quite rudely, but I don’t understand what it is that you believe. I mean, I could go and see Princess Celestia raise the sun, but you can’t see your gods? Then, I mean…”

“I understand the question.” Father Lionel clutched his bible to his chest. “The problem in this world is that the word ‘believe’ has multiple meanings. It goes beyond the meaning of, ‘to evaluate as true.’ The factual, literal, scientific truth of faith isn’t inaccurate; it’s irrelevant. Because there’s another meaning that we use all the time. If I tell you, ‘I believe in you,’ I’m not saying, ‘I think you exist,’ right?”

“Of course not. I say that to my filly Dinky all the time.”

“That’s the sense in which I believe in the Lord. There’s a reason that He’s called the Good Lord. I don’t know for sure whether there’s some sort of physical entity that can be pointed to and measured and charted as God. I do know that He is good.”

Derpy nodded and joined Trixie at the table. Karyn shook her head.

“Don’t worry about me. I think I know where I want to be religiously.”

“What exactly is that, Karyn?” asked Derpy. “You brought me here, and you told me what other humans think of it, but you never really told me what you believe.”

“Because that’s something very private. We’re good friends, but that’s one thing that’s just for me.”

“All right.”

Trixie stood back up. Her voice for once lost the edge that she used for her shows. “Thank you, Father. You’ve given me a lot to think about. If you don’t mind, Karyn, Derpy, I think I’d like to get back home.”

They all faced each other. No one was sure of the proper protocol, so the two humans raised their hands and the two ponies raised their hooves and that was all. Trixie and Derpy reactivated their invisibility spells as they reached the door and headed back out into the sun.

The ponies spoke little on the way back, and Karyn did not mind that. Once in the apartment, Trixie took her leave.

“Thank you for having me. I definitely got something out of this trip. Maybe not what I wanted, but something.”

She vanished.

Derpy stared at the spot where she had just left. “Do you think she’ll really go good this time?”

Karyn thought about that. “Maybe there’s a ceiling on just how good she can be. She apologized to Twilight after their duel, but still bragged about her humility. Or there could be something like karma to it; she’ll never be completely good, but she’ll be happy in proportion to how good she is.”

“Hm.”

“What about you? Are you going to go through an existential crisis because of what Father Lionel said?”

“Me? Nah. I’m already over that. I was thinking about what I want to have for dinner when I get home.” She stuck her tongue out and waggled it.

That broke the heavy atmosphere, and they were all smiles as they said their good-byes.

Author's Notes:

I hope that one wasn't too controversial. But we don't stop next week!

"That might tweak her nerves.”

“No, I meant…actually, I might do that.”

“On the other hoof,” said Derpy, her face falling, “you should probably be cautious and help as best you can."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What happened?” asked Derpy. “Did we mess up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I offended them by not letting them do their work. That’s why I’m not cut out for being important. I don’t know how to treat people who are trying to serve me.”

“Well, let’s not worry about it. We’re getting closer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I just want everyone to live happily and peacefully.”

Before he could express further skepticism, Derpy flared her wings and her nostrils. “Forget about that,” she said, “but how would you like it if somepony said that you had to wear a mark all the time so that they knew who you were?”

“We have those, remember? Cutie marks?”

Is that enough of a clew to let you know what's going on? Come back next week to find the whole story!