“So why are we not going to use the front door again?” said Humble as he secured himself in Pinkie’s party cannon. “This seems a little risky.”

“Because this is so much more super duper fun!” said Pinkie aiming for Twilight’s library balcony. “This is how I got in last time! Don’t worry your silly little head.”

“Well if your sureeeeeee!” said Humble as he was launched into the air all the way up before crashing onto the balconys ledge. “Huh, that wasn’t so ba-omph!” he said when Pinkie crashed on top of him.

“Thanks for softening my landing unkie Humble!” said Pinkie getting off Humble.

“No problem,” groaned Humble getting up before trotting to a glass door. “Wow,” he said looking at the rows of books inside the room along with a startled Twilight who was interrupted from her reading. “She sure does like reading alright.”

“Pinkie?” said Twilight who opened the door to see what the noise was. “Humble? What are you guys doing out on my balcony?”

“We wanted to see the best princess in Ponyville for our end of the tour trip!” said Pinkie.

“Pinkie I’m the only princess in Ponyville,” said Twilight letting them in.

“Then that just makes you even better!” said Pinki jumping upon the ladder on the book shelves. “Wheee!”

“Sorry about us dropping in like this Miss Twilight,” said Humble closing the door. “But Pinkie insisted we use her cannon.”

“Ugh, I thought I told her to stop doing that,” groaned Twilight. “Oh well, you're here anyway, so how about I give you the grand tour?”

“That sounds nice,” replied Humble looking at a few novels.

“Well first things first,” said Twilight guiding Humble around the room. “This library contains some of the most valuable books of our time, only the royal Canterlot library has a bigger collection than this, oh! I forgot to mention, nice suit.”

“Thanks,” said Humble. “Miss Rarity made it for me.”

After awhile of showing Humble around the library (while Pinkie swung on the ladder) Twilight eventfully moved out of the room to the hallway which was covered in rugs imported from Canterlot to make the castle feel more homely. The wall were decorated with paintings of famous figures of Equestrian history, the founders of Equestria, the princesses and other renown ponies. They then reached a series of corridors that looked quite important looking.

“Say what’s this?” said Humble opening a door to a circular room while Twilight just jumped up in shock.

“Wait!” Twilight shouted but by then it was too late. Humble had found the mirror. “Oh no.”

“So this is the portal you use to go back to this Canterlot High anytime you want?” asked Humble touching the mirror.

“Uh, yeah?” said Twilight with  bewildered expression. “How did you know-Pinkie?!”

“Yeah?” said Pinkie who was making ripples in the mirror.

“Did you tell Humble about what happened?” said Twilight with  glare.

“I might have told a teensy itsy bitsy bit to my family,” said Pinkie with a blush and smile.

“Pinkie!” scolded Twilight. “You know that this is a state secret!”

“I’m sorry,” said a deflated Pinkie.

“It’s alright Miss Twilight,” said Humble calming the mare. “I haven’t spoken a word about this to anypony, my lips are sealed.”

“Well, alright,” said Twilight with a softer expression. “I’m sorry I yelled Pinkie, I just don’t want anypony to panic over the portals existence.”

“It’s alright,” said a reinflated Pinkie.

“Good now how about we see if Spike feels like making us some of his famous nachos!” said Twilight trotting out of the room.

“Pssst,” said Pinkie to Humble. “Thanks unkie Humble for not telling Twilight I told you about the time she thought the world was ending."

“Anytime kiddo,” said Humble with a wink.

After leaving the room the three ponies headed down the hallway downstairs to a massive living room where Spike was sitting on a couch while watching one of his favorite movies, “The Sentials of the universe” currently at the scene where Galaxy Duke was dancing to some music while investigating a ruin.

“Spike!” said Twilight causing Spike to jump up in shock. “I thought you said you were making lunch.”

“Well I was, but then I saw that their was a special delivery for us,” said Spike pointing at a open box. “It said “dear Princess Twilight, we at Travel studios want you to have this free copy of “The Sentinels of the universe” on behalf of your service” And I thought, “Hmm, I really like that film” and well, here we are.”

“Spike!,” gasped  Twilight. “You can’t shrug off your duties, right Pinkie? Pinkie?” But all that was left was a Pinkie shaped cloud of dust.

“Ohh!,” said Pinkie planting herself next to Spike. “I love Green Leaf, “I am Green” Funny!”

“Oh Celestia help me, Humble can you please tell your niece to-Humble?” said Twilight before hearing more laughter.

“I love how nopony remembers his codename!” chuckled Humble to the giggle niece and snickering dragon.

“Hey it’s not weird to have a codename!” said Spike before more laughing.

“Ugh,” said Twilight facehoofing. “Guys-”

“Hey Twilight,” said Spike. “Can you make some nachos?”

Facegoving again, Twilight got out the pepper jack.

“Mmmm, well thank you for the meal and movie Spike but we must get going,” said Humble as Pinkie bounced around outside.

“Must you leave?” said Twilight with a hint of disappointment. “We still haven’t discussed your pieces of literature!”

“Don’t worry Twilight,” chuckled Humble. “I’ll be here for a week, we can talk tomorrow. Come on Pinkie we got to get home for supper.”

“Yay, supper!” said Pinkie bouncing down the road with her uncle as the sun was setting.

“Hey Twilight?” said Spike waving goodbye.

“Yeah?”

“You burnt the cheese.”

“Mmmm, I’m stuffed,” said Humble rubbing his stomach.

“But unkie Humble!” said Pinkie. “We haven’t had dinner! You can’t just have no food at the Cakes!”

“Well,” said Humble pondering. “I guess I could make room for one more muffin to-”

“Look out!” said a grey coated pegasus mare with a blond mane as a box missed Humble by a inch. “Sorry!” she said scooping it up quickly before flying off.

“Umm, it’s okay?” said Humble as he and Pinkie watched Derpy Hooves fly off.

“Excuse me!” said a panting Doctor Time Turner. “Did-you-see-a-mailmare-going-this-way?”

“Yep!” said Pinkie. “Derpy went that way!” she said pointing in the direction the mare went off in.

“Thanks!” said the doctor as he galloped in that direction.

“Well,” said Humble with squinted eyes. “That happened,” he said when it looked like the event was over only for a purplish grey unicorn filly and a orange maned mare with carrots as a cutie mark came galloping up to the duo.

“Hi Miss Pinkie!” said Dinky.

“Hi Dinky!” said Pinkie ruffling the fillie's mane. “What you and Carrot Top doing?”

“Chasing two foals,” groaned Carrot looking around.

“Don’t be silly Miss Carrot, we’re chasing mommy and the doctor not foals,” said Dinky with a smile.

“I’m guessing your talking about the mailmare and a brown stallion who just rushed by?” said Humble. “They went that way.”

“Thanks, come on Dinky we can still catch them in time for Sugarcube Corner!” said Carrot before picking up Dinky and galloping off while Dinky waved from behind.

“Huh,” thought Humble. “Well that was...interesting.”

The two finally arrived back at Sugarcube Corner just as Celestia’s sun shoned its last gleam and the street lights flickered on with the buzzing energy in them making a almost harmonious sound.

“I wonder how Slit was today,” said Humble as he and Pinkie went inside the pastry shop only to find the place in a very odd fashion: quiet with only a brown coated, propeller hat wearing colt sitting in a corner stall while playing on his Gamecolt.

“Hello!?” said Pinkie scouring the kitchen for the Cakes. “Anypony here!?”

“Oh Pinkie and Humble,” said Carrot Cake coming from outside the backyard. “Your back, Cup Cake is just playing with Slit, Gummy, and the foals. I was just watering some of our flowers.” As he said that the sound of giggling could be heard as the three looked up to see the sight of a balancing Cup Cake and a pair of giggling foals while two reptilian animals played around her hoofs making it harder for her to trot down. “Oh hi honey, Humble and Pinkie are back,” said Carrot taking Pound Cake making it easier for Cup Cake to trot down.

“Oh? And how was your tour of Ponyville?” said Cup Cake putting Pumpkin on a high chair. “I hope it was alright.”

“It was-” But before Humble could begin, Pinkie did it for him.

“It was amazing!” said Pinkie throwing Gummy in the air before catching him. “We got free candy from Bonbon, I got stuck in a trap set by Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo, unkie Humble failed at bucking only for him to save Octavia, who he knew, from petrified timberwolves, we got attacked by pigeons at Fluttershy’s place only for Humble to speak birdy and fix it, we found out that Rarity is doing a super duper important job for the guards, unkie Humble got a new suit, unkie Humble got launched by my confetti cannon into Twilight’s castle, we told him about that portal that we weren’t supposed to tell anypony, we watched “The Sentinels of the universe” with Spike, Twilight made us nachos, a bit burnt though, Derpy almost crushed unkie Humble but she said she was sorry!” said Pinkie finishing.

“I thought you got a new suit,” said Carrot Cake.

“You saved Miss Octavia from petrified timberwolves?!” said an awed Cup Cake. “Nopony got hurt did they?”

“Well Octavia got a broken hoof, but she should be fine,” said Humble calming Cup Cake. “When you been born into a family of rock farmers and a rock specialist you learn a few things about how to break rocks.”

“Wow,” said Carrot Cake giving Pound Cake a bottle of milk. “Sounds like you had quite the day.”

“Indeed,” chuckled Humble. “By the way how was Slit?”

“Oh he was a perfect little guy,” said Cup Cake as Slit bellowed in approval. “He and Gummy played quite a bit with Pumpkin and Pound Cake.”

“Hmmm, speaking of perfect family, Pinkie?” said Humble looking at a Slit imitating Pinkie. “I got something to tell you.”

“What is it unkie Humble?” said Pinkie getting up. “You did have a good day right?”

“Of course in fact that is what I want to talk about,” said Humble putting his arm around Pinkie. “I want to thank you for showing me this wonderful town my equally wonderful niece,” he said ruffling Pinkies mane making it poof up.

“Aww,” said Pinkie hugging her uncle. “I had a great time too.”

“Dawww,” said Carrot and Cup Cake.

“But there is something I’m surprised at,” said Carrot.

“What’s that dear?” said Cup Cake.

“I’m amazed that Pinkie didn’t make a party for Humble.”

….

…..

….

….

“Wait here!” said Pinkies voice has she rushed off into the night.

“Wait Pinkie what about your uncle?!’ shouted Carrot.

“Have fun!” was the last thing Pinkie said as she rushed off to get guests and party supplies.

The couple looked back at Humble who was just looking bewildered as a giggling pair of foals and one quite and one bellowing alligators surrounded him.

“So uhh, what’s the entertainment for tonight?” said Humble with a chuckle leaning back on a chair.

“What should we do?” whispered Carrot while he and Cup Cake huddled to make a plan for entertaining Humble.

“I don’t kn-wait!” said Cup Cake as she whispered something to Carrot.

Clearing their throats and with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle trotting in, Carrot began.

"So," Carrot said as Cup Cake turned off the lights and shined a flashlight on him. "What do you call a knife and a fork mixed together?"

"I don't know," said Scootaloo with a shrug. "What?"

"A knork!"

Crickets chirped as everypony just watched Carrot sweat.

"I don't get it," said Button Mash in his corner booth before seeing Sweetie Belle and blushed with her blushing too as more ponies came in.

"Here let me try." getting on stage Lyra did a mic check before doing her first joke. "Okay, what has a blue mane, pink hair and tastes like-owww!" she said as a blushing Bonbon dragged her by the ear offstage.

"Umm, is this how it usally is here?" said Humble to Apple Bloom.

"Usally it's more fun, but why'd Miss Bonbon take Miss Lyra off the stage?"

"I'll tell you when your older."

After a few more ponies got to the spotlight, some doing good others bad,  the room was now filled to the brim with the citizens of Ponyville. Pinkie then made he announcement.

“We wanted you to have a great first day!” said Pinkie jumping into her uncle's arms. “So I got the parts of town that didn’t go to the Bargain Barn-” At the mention of the store a few ponies left mostly foals whose parents apologized along with a few stallions and mares  whose friends apologized. “-And brought them here!” said Pinkie as Humble just smiled. “Now let’s party hardy!” she said hitting a button on a boombox while the sound of various genres entered the ears of the guest causing them to dance like they never danced before.

While Humble was in the corner of the room talking with Twilight about his books, Miss Cheerilee trotted up to him. “So you're the famous author Humble Pie? Writer of the books “Ice Barrel” and “The adventures of Con Colt?” she said with a giddy tone.

“That’s about right ma’am,” replied Humble taking a sip of his cider. “And you must be Miss Cheerilee the teacher, correct?”

“Uh huh,” nodded Cheerilee. “I heard you're here for a week-”

“A week!” said Granny Smith. “Well how about you come stay with us handsome? You can stay in my room,” she said with a wink while Humble just whimpered up to Twilight.

“Granny!” shouted Applejack grabbing her grandmother. “He’s staying with the Cakes!”

“Well ya can’t blame a mare for trying darn it!”

“Umm,” said Cheerilee while Applejack and Granny Smith argued about age and love. “Anyway I was wondering since you're here for the week,  if you would mind coming into the school and talking about your career to the kids?”

“I don’t know,” said Humble. “I mean I suppose a quick visit woul-”

“Great!” said Cheerilee trotting back to the dance floor.

“Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into now?” said Humble putting his muzzle in between his hooves.

“I’m sure you’ll fine,” said Twilight patting Humble on the back. “Just mention you're busy so they don’t start chanting Humble time.”

“My lady,” said Stale who was drinking some cider at a corner booth with Lemon. “This is some of the best darn cider I’ve ever had!”

“Why thank you mister,” said Applebloom who was passing drinks out.  

“Huh, well thanks girl but I think your friend need some help,” said Stale pointing at Sweetie Belle who was helping put out a pancake that was on fire with Scootaloo.

“Oh no not again!” cried Rarity across the room who rushed to help her sister.

“Hahahaha,” laughed Stale in a  buzzed state.

“Really?” groaned Lemon. “Your getting drunk right now?”

“Oh don’t be a lightweight party bucker Lem,” said Stale. “And drink with me!”

“I don’t feel like-argh,” he said gargling on the cider Stale was pouring down his throat with a pitcher.

After a few more hours the party started to die down as the guests said their goodbyes and went home.

“I can party for a bit longer,” said a tired looking Spike laying on Twilight's back. “Whoo-zzzzz.”

“Thanks again for inviting us,” said Twilight leaving the shop. “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye!” shouted Pinkie who took off her lamp hat. “Did you have fun unkie Humble?”

“I sure did ya little party pony,” said Humble tickling a giggling Pinkie.

“Well I think these two have had enough fun for the night,” said Carrot holding a tired looking Pound Cake while Cup Cake held a equally exhausted Pumpkin. “Goodnight Humble, night Pinkie,” he said as the two parents went to put their foals to sleep.

“Night, well I gotta go brush my teeth and how about I tell you a story?” said Humble as Pinkie rushed to her bed. “Hehehe, still the same pinky filly.” After brushing his teeth, Humble was heading to Pinkies bed when he heard a cry coming from Pound Cake and Pumpkin’s nursery. Trotting inside he saw the sight of Pinkie desperately rocking the foals. “What happened?”

“Unkie Humble!” said Pinkie. “I was trying to say my usual quite goodnights, but I stepped on a rubber ducky and now I can’t get Pound Cake or Pumpkin to sleep!”

“Shhh,” said Humble in a soft tone. “Here let me hold them.” After Pinkie gave the two crying foals to Humble, he sang them a lullaby.

“Shush little child, sleep right now, dream of rocks cold and round, sleep little foal, cry no more, dream of cotton and not sorrows galore, hush my friend sleep tonight, your eyes are weary and not quite merry, sleep little foal, sleep little child, sleep and dream of candy sweet or sour, sleep my little one lay your head, and when you awake you’ll be quite glad,” Humble sang as a smiling Cup Cake and Carrot stood in the doorway.

“Aww, that was nice,” said Carrot putting the two sleeping foals back in their cribs.

“Where did you learn it?” said Cup Cake.

“My parents sung it to my sister who would would sing it to me when I was little and when I took care of Pinkie I sung it to…..her,” said Humble as he looked at his sleeping niece. “And apparently it still works.” After dragging Pinkie to her room, Humble went to his guest room to finally get some well deserved shut eye. “Well Slit this was quite a good day we had,” said Humble putting on his robe while Slit just waddled onto the bed. “And plenty of more days of it,” he said turning off the light. As  he closed his eyelids the last thought he had in mind before going to Luna’s realm was that of  two words.

“I’m sorry.”

Next Chapter: A dagger in the heart Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 46 Minutes