After they left Sugercube Corner, Humble and Pinkie trotted down the street while Pinkie told him all about the local landmarks.

“That over there is where I got gum stuck on my right hoof!” said Pinkie pointing at an alley. “And that’s where the the Pony Tones practice,” she pointed at city hall.

“Very interesting,” said Humble, trotting alongside his niece before an aroma of mouthwatering smells hit his nostrils. “Mmm, Pinkie?”

“Yeah, unkie Humble?” said Pinkie from atop the house where she once got stuck on a piece of gum.

“What is that wonderful fragrance?” said Humble, taking another whiff, “It smells delicious.”

“Oh!” said Pinkie jumping off the roof before grabbing Humble and dragging him to another beige shop two blocks away. “Welcome to Sweetie Drops!” she said, throwing her hooves in front of a shop that looked like all the other buildings, with the exception of a sign saying “Sweetie Drops: We Are Sweet” on it.

“Huh,” said Humble before noticing a mint-green unicorn mare with a harp for a cutie mark sitting idly on a bench a few hooves away. “Well hello, miss.”

“Hi,” said the mare with a smile and a raised hoof “My name’s Lyra Heartstrings, what’s yours?”

“Humble Pie,” said Humble, shaking the mare’s hoof, “Pinkie’s uncle.”

“Hi Lyra!” shouted Pinkie, glancing at a balloon cart going by before resuming. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Just sitting,” replied Lyra.

“Hmm,” said Humble looking at the mare’s odd position, “A peculiar way to sit for a pony.”

“Well I’ve seen minotaurs do it and I just thought ‘hey why not?’ And I did it,” said Lyra with a chuckle.

“I see,” said Humble, his curiosity on the subject quenched, “So do you own the store here?”

“Sweetie Drops?” said Lyra with a grin. “Nah, my wife Bon Bon does. Come on in and I’ll get you guys something,” she said with a wave of her hoof before they all went inside the store.

The store was truly worthy of the name Sweetie Drops. The shelves and stands were filled to the brim with both domestic candy and exotic candy, and not just counting the barrels of taffee. At the back of the store stood a beige mare with a purple-and-pink-streaked mane and three pieces of wrapped candy as a cutie mark.

“Hi, Bonnie,” said Lyra, nuzzling her wife affectionately.

“Hi, honey,” said Bon Bon, returning the nuzzle, “Hello Pinkie.”

“Hiya, Bon Bon!” said Pinkie as she scoured the store for her favorite types of candy.

“And who are you, sir?” said Bon Bon with a hopeful smile, “Did you just move here?”

“Actually, I’m Pinkie’s uncle,” said Humble with his hoof out. “You must be Lyra’s wife. I came in when I smelled a delectable scent.”

“Oh, you must have smelled my award-winning blue toffee,” said Bon Bon, shaking his hoof before bringing out some blue-colored toffee.  “I didn’t know Pinkie even had an uncle. My name’s Bon Bon. What’s yours?”

“Humble,” he said with a smile, “Humble Pie.”

“Wait, Humble Pie?!” said Bon Bon with widening eyes. “As in the writer of ‘Ice Barrels’?!”

“Ah, you know my work,” said Humble with a bow, “I’m guessing you’re a fan?”

“Well--”

“Are you kidding me!?” said Lyra, jumping in, “Sir, I have to thank you for writing that long book,” she said putting her mouth near Humble’s ear. “She made me read the whole thing like it was homework, can you believe that!?” she whispered before talking normally. “That book gave Bonnie the best ideas for our foreplay--”

“Okay, here’s your candy!” said Bon Bon, loudly and nervously, shoving a bag of assorted candy into Pinkie’s and Humble's hoofs, “If that will be all, have a nice day!”

“But wait, we didn’t pay,” said Humble as he and Pinkie were being pushed out of the shop by Bon Bon.

“Stop it, that tickles!” giggled Pinkie.

“Consider it a welcome to town gift!” said Bon Bon before rushing her customers out.

“Well, that was fun!” said Pinkie, and she began bouncing right up the street.

Before Humble and Pinkie continued their walk to Sweet Apple Acres, Humble could have sworn he heard yelling from inside the sweet shop:

“I should throw you out for that! That was inappropriate!” That sounded like Bon Bon

“I wouldn't mind you throwing me,” Lyra’s voice replied. Bon Bon just groaned back.

Continuing their trot to the farm, Pinkie kept asking Humble about Manehattan.

“So the pigeons do dance?!” said Pinkie while chewing on some gum.

“According to Coil, yes,” said Humble, taking a bite out of his candy.

“How is uncle Coil anyway?” said Pinkie.

“Oh, he’s doing fine, you know with him inventing stuff,” said Humble as they started to come upon scattred apple trees.

“Hmm, excuse me Pinkie,” said Humble reaching for a low branch with an apple on it. “Just gonna take a bite.”

“No!” yelled Pinkie, jumping for the apple, “Donnnn't!” For some reason, she said it in slow motion.

But the damage was already done when Humble picked it off and took a bite.

“Hmm, a little sour,” said Humble before turning around. “What were you saying...Pinkie?” said Humble as he looked at Pinkie upside down with a rope around her right foreleg. “Pinkie!” said Humble helping his niece down, “Are you alright?”

“I think so,” said Pinkie, shaking her head, “My forehead felt sweaty, which means there was a trap ahead.”

“Who would put a trap under an apple tree?” said Humble before he was answered by the appearance of three fillies jumping out of the bushes and “tackling” him.

“Got you, apple thief!” said Scootaloo, jumping onto Humble’s back, “No escaping this time.”

“Huh?” said Humbler looking at the small pegasus pulling on his mane.

“He’s trying to escape!” shouted Apple Bloom.

“Take this!” said Sweetie Belle, hitting Humble with a small spell that just tickled his cheek.

“Oh no, I’m being attacked! Police cute-ality,” joked Humble as he gently shook the fillies off of him.

“You're not getting away again, thief!” shouted Apple Bloom while Pinkie just watched while eating popcorn, “No more apples will be plucked!”

“Apple Bloom,” groaned Scootaloo, “That was my line.”

“Well, you stole my ‘got you, apple thief’ line,” said Apple Bloom, trotting over to Scootaloo. “And Sweetie Belle stole my hitting action.”

“I’ll have you know Twilight happens to think my phii-pyhis-my magic is getting stronger!” said Sweetie Belle, joining the huddle.

“Please, Sweetie Belle,” said Scootaloo. “Your magic barely made a scratch.”

“Oh, like you could have done better?” said Apple Bloom, “If I’d have been the hitter, I would have bucked him so hard--”

“Umm, excuse me?” said Humble, drawing back the attention of the arguing fillies, “I believe we’re introducing ourselves. I’m Pinkie’s uncle, Humble Pie,” he said, taking some popcorn from Pinkie.

“Humble Pie?” said Apple Bloom in a curious tone, “Do y’all know my cousin, Babs Seed?”

“Ah!” said Humble putting his hoof out, “You must be the famous Apple Bloom?”

“Yep,” said Apple Bloom smiling while shaking the stallion’s hoof, “How’d ya know?”

“Babs is always talking about her cousin’s Cutie Mark Crusaders adventures,” said Humble, “And these two fillies must be Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.”

“Yep, I’m Scootaloo,” said Scootaloo.

“And I’m Sweetie Belle,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, girls,” said Humble as he, Pinkie, and the girls started trotting on the road. “So would you mind telling me why there was a rope trap under that apple tree? Pinkie got caught in it.”

“Oh no!” shouted the three fillies.

“Are you alright, Pinkie!?”

“We’re sorry!”

“Really sorry!”

“It’s alright, sillies,” said Pinkie, “I always get stuck in traps with your sisters.”

“I told you we shouldn’t have tried to get our cutie marks as apple thief catchers!” said Sweetie Belle to Apple Bloom.

“Hey, if we didn’t try to find the varmint that’s been stealing from us, we wouldn’t even have a chance at them!” said Apple Bloom.

“Girls, enough fighting. We’re almost at the farm,” said Humble looking at a sign that said “2 miles to Sweet Apple Acres, partners!”

“So, Mr. Humble,” said Apple Bloom.

“Please call me Humble,” said Humble with a chuckle.

“Alright, Humble,” giggled Apple Bloom at the use of an adult’s first name, “How’s Babs doing?” Apple Bloom remembered how her cousin had gotten her cutie mark.

"Oh she's doing fine. Still helping her family sell apples though till they can afford to send her to barber school."

After a while the group arrived at the front gate to Sweet Apple Acres with the sight of an elderly green mare in a blanket snoring on the front porch.

“Granny Smith!” shrieked Apple Bloom.

“Huh-wha--!” said Granny Smith, awaking with a jolt. “Oh, howdy there, Apple Bloom, what’re y’all doin’ with that handsome stranger over there?” she said looking at Humble, who suddenly grew nervous at the word “handsome”.

“That’s Pinkie’s uncle, Humble Pie,” said Apple Bloom as Humble waved. “We’re just showing him around the farm.”

“Well, do let me know if he needs an older mare to show him around,” said Granny Smith while Humble slowly slipped behind Pinkie.

“Okay,” said Apple Bloom, not understanding a thing her granny just said, “We’ll just be going.”

“Bye, dearie,” said Granny Smith. “Come up and see me sometime, handsome,” she said to Humble with a wink.

“Uhh, let’s go girls,” said Humble as he motioned to Pinkie and the fillies to move.

The group continued to trot around the fields while Apple Bloom occasionally asked for information about Babs, until they came upon a bulky, red-coated stallion fixing a bench.

“Big Macintosh!” shouted Apple Bloom, causing Big Mac to drop his hammer.

“Eeyup?” he said turning around to the sight of Humble, the three fillies, and a candy-munching Pinkie.

“This here is Pinkie’s uncle,” said Apple Bloom, nodding at Humble.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac putting his hoof out.

“Humble Pie, at your service,” said Humble shaking the strong hoof. He saw Mac’s project and continued, “Handy with tools, hmm?”

“Eeyup.”

This was followed by a few moments of silence.

“A stallion of few words aren’t ya?” said Humble.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac turning back to his work.

“Well, I see you have things to do. It was nice meeting you,” said Humble as he and the group left.

Apple Bloom stayed behind. “Big Mac, won’t ya ever say more than one word to strangers?” she asked.

“Nope,” said Big Mac nailing in a bent nail.  Apple Bloom just rolled her eyes before leaving.

As the group continued to walk, they eventually came upon Applejack working in the fields.

“Hiya, Applejack,” said Apple Bloom as they approached the farmer.

“Oh, howdy, y’all,” said Applejack, bucking the tree and causing its apples to plummet to a barrel underneath, “Oh, Humble. I see ya met Apple Bloom and her friends.”

"A good day to you, Miss Applejack," replied Humble.

“Sis, we didn’t catch the thief!” said Apple Bloom looking for the offender in other trees.

“Yeah, all we caught was Pinkie,” said Sweetie Belle before throwing her hoof over her mouth.

“Ugh, girls how many times do I have to tell y’all that I will handle it?” said Applejack facehoofing, “And not to keep putting traps on the farm?” she added, no doubt remembering the time they thought of using muffins as bait. Since then, Derpy had been reluctant to deliver the mail to the farm.

“Umm, eight?” said Apple Bloom with a blush.

“Well, just don’t do it anymore,” said Applejack, “So Humble, I was wondering if you could help me with this tree?”

“I don’t know,” said Humble pawing the ground nervously, “I mean, I never bucked an apple tree before.”

“Come on, it’s easy,” said Applejack showing Humble the tree, “Just put your hooves back and give it a good kick!” She demonstrated, kicking the tree and causing some apples to fall. “See? Easy.”

“Well, I don’t know,” said Humble, rubbing his neck.

“You can do it, unkie Humble!” Pinkie cheered.

“Come on, Humble,” chanted Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, don’t be a chicken!” shouted Scootaloo, just as a passing chicken looked at her with a glare. “Uhh, no offense….”

“Well...alright,” said Humble getting in the stance Applejack showed him, “Here I...go!” He gave the tree a hard buck, and only a small number of leaves coming down.

“Phhh,” stifled the giggling filles until Applejack gave them a glare.

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” said Humble with a sigh.

“It’s alright, unkie Humble,” said Pinkie, giving him a hug.

“Yeah, bucking isn’t something that just happens in a day,” said Applejack giving him a sympathetic smile, “I’m sure you’ll be able to buck by the--wait, what’s that darn sound?”

The rest of the group heard what sounded like a scream increasing in volume. Seconds later, a black-maned, grey-coated mare with a music note symbol for a cutie mark came galloping out of the Everfree Forest, hounded by a group of petrified wood timberwolves.

“Help!” screamed Octavia as the wolves were catching up to her, “Somepony help-whoah!” She tripped over a rock and went tumbling to the ground.

“Don’t worry!” shouted Applejack getting ready to charge. “I’m com--huh!?” She stopped as Humble galloped past her and ran toward the wolves.

“Unkie Humble!” screamed Pinkie.

“Humble, no!” shouted the three fillies.

“What’s that dang fool doing!?” shouted Applejack as she was getting ready to charge again before her question was answered.

Just when it looked like Octavia would be an early lunch for the petrified timberwolves, Humble launched himself into the air and brought himself down on the pack with lighting speed, shattering the timber wolves into pebbles with a series of hind kicks and hoof punches.

“Wow!” said an awed audience of Applejack, the three fillies, and a candy-eating Pinkie.

When the danger was over, Humble just panted heavily before noticing Octavia looking up at him in amazement.

“Miss Octavia?” said Humble, “What on Luna’s moon are you doing here?”

“Humble?” said Octavia, trying to get up only to fall down, “Could you help me? I think I broke my hoof when I tripped.”

“Sure,” said Humble helping her onto his back. “Nice to see you again.”

“Unkie Humble!” said Pinkie latching herself on to her uncle.

“Owch!” shred Octavia when Pinkie accidently hit her.

“Sorry,” said Pinkie with a blush. “You saved Octavia, unkie Humble.”

“Well--” said Humble before being interrupted by a swarm of fillies.

“That was awesome!” shouted Scootaloo, “Not as awesome as Rainbow Dash, but still!”

“You were like this,” said Sweetie Belle doing a series of air punches. “And they were like this,” she said before whimpering.

“How did ya do it?” asked a giddy Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, how did you do that?” said Applejack. “I’ve never seen anypony do somthing like that to a petrified timberwolf before.”

“I’m quite curious too,” groaned Octavia.

So as the group walked out back on the trail to Ponyville to get Octavia to a hospital, Humble explained how he defeated the wolves:

“So you see, since I was born and raised by a family of rock farmers, I learned how to destroy rocks very easily. Those timberwolves were petrified, so I was able to defeat them pretty easily”.

“So, why can’t Pinkie do it?” said Applejack. “When she got trapped in a bunch of rocks, Maud had to save her.”

“Oh, that’s easy, silly,” smiled Pinkie, “My rock-smashing hoof was stuck.”

“And you helped Octavia when she got hurt at a history fair?” said Applejack.

“Yep,” said Humble, “Of course, my two other friends helped as well.”

“Well, I still say that was awesome Humble,” said Scootaloo, giving a nod of approval to the stallion, “Now come on, guys, you said we could try to get our extreme sports cutie marks if Apple Bloom’s idea didn’t work.”

“Oh no!” said Applejack as the girls ran off, “I gotta go stop those girls, I’ll see ya later Humble,” she said, and began galloping after the fillies.

“See ya,” said Humble, waving goodbye.

“Well, that was a most interesting story, Humble,” said Octavia on Humble’s back.

“Speaking of stories,” said Humble, “What were you doing in timberwolf territory in the first place?”

“Oh! W-well I, umm, was mapping,” said Octavia, a bead of sweat forming on her brow.

“Mapping for what?” said Pinkie, bouncing behind them.

“For a friend,” said Octavia quickly, “Oh look, we’re at the hospital.”

“Well, here ya go, Miss Octavia,” said Humble, giving the mare over to some attendants. “Try to be careful next time when your mapping.”

“I will, Humble,” Octavia said as she was rushed inside, “And thank you.”

“Well, that was interesting,” said Humble as he and Pinkie trotted away, “What’s next Pinkie?”

“Fluttershy’s Cottage!” said Pinkie, and they started on their way.

At an inn across town, Lemon Squeeze and Stale Crumbs were haggling for a room. “So that will be forty bits for one room with two princess sized beds?” said the innkeeper in the wood-covered lobby.

“Yes, sir,” said Lemon while Stale was in a chair, reading a magazine. The Canterlot model, Fleur Dis Lee, was on the front cover along with the words, “A Mare’s Fancy Lifestyle: An Inside Look at Fleur Dis Lee’s and Fancy Pants’ Relationship”.

“Okay, here you go,” said the innkeeper, giving him the room keys, “Do you need a town map?”

“No, I think we’ll--”

“Aye!” said Stale, pushing Lemon aside, “Where can a stallion find a nice pastry shop around here?”

“Well, sir, there are quite a few available,” said the innkeeper, “But if I had to recommend something, I’d go with Sugarcube--”

“I want that one,” said Stale.

“Well, sir, it’s just down the street,” the innkeeper said, pointing out a window.  A few buildings down was the shop, a picture on it of a pink mare with a puffy mane holding a cupcake.

Stale thanked the innkeeper, and he and Lemon went upstairs to their paid room. “Ah, this is the life!” he said jumping onto a luxury bed. “The perks of a hit stallion.”

“Shhh,” said Lemon as he put his special device in the corner of the room, “Remember Pike doesn't want anypony to find out about us.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Stale turning on a shiny projector pointed at a white screen. “I still can’t believe this place has projectors!”

“Well, this is a five star inn,” said Lemon as he looked out the window for any ponies following the duo. “Say, aren’t you supposed to be scouting the area for exits and such?”

“Ugh, fine,” groaned Stale, turning the projector off, “And just when I was about to watch Ice Breaker.” He grumbled some more as he left the room.

“Hmmm, I better do some target practice,” thought Lemon to himself as he got out his metallic device.

“Oh Angel,” said Fluttershy to her stubborn pet, “Please eat your carrots, for me?” The rabbit merely shook his head, held up a cookbook, and pointed at a picture of an elegant carrot salad inside. “Angel, you know I can’t always do that, now please eat your vegetables,” said Fluttershy with a look that came close to resembling “The Stare”. Sighing in defeat, the rabbit started nibbling on the stem of the carrot. “That’s a good bunny.”

Fluttershy turned to the sound of the doorbell. “I wonder who that--ahh!” she screamed as her door was thrown open.

“Fluttershy!” shouted Pinkie, jumping into the air before doing a perfect landing, “I’m here! Sorry about rushing in!”

“Oh, hello Pinkie,” said Fluttershy, coming out of her safe room (a trashcan), “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to show unkie Humble all of your animals,” said Pinkie as Humble came through the doorway.

“Sorry about that, Miss Fluttershy,” said Humble closing the door, “Pinkie always did like throwing doors open.”

“It’s true!” said Pinkie, putting her front leg around Fluttershy, “I’m not allowed to do it at Sugarcube Corner though, ever since I saw Mr and Mrs. Cake tickle each other.”

“That's alright. I’m just so happy you're here to see all these cute wittle creatures,” Fluttershy smiled as she began petting a baby hedgehog, “But I’m having some trouble with my more feathery friends--” She was interrupted as a swooping pigeon came in through the window. “Duck!” she screamed, diving into her safe room.

“Quack?” said a duck sitting in a corner of the room.

“Why?” said Pinkie before she was answered by the pigeon turning tail and aiming for her mane. She jumped, squealing, into Fluttershy’s safe room after her, “Ahhhh--this is fun!”

“Omph!” said Fluttershy being squeezed against the inside of the trashcan.

“Sorry,” said Pinkie before popping her head out of the can and noticing Humble was still in the pigeon’s path of destruction. “Unkie Humble, duck!”

“Quack?” said the duck.

Just when it looked like the frenzied pigeon would put a dent in Humble’s vacation, Humble did what he would always do when attacked by a pigeon.

“Coo!” Humble called in a very birdlike manner.

“Huh?” said Fluttershy looking through a hole in the can. The pigeon that had been doing airstrikes on the room had now calmed down and sat itself on Humble’s outstretched hoof.

“Ohhhhhh!” shouted Pinkie, jumping out of the safe room. “He was like “coo!” And you were like “coo!” And then he calmed down! How did you do that?!”

“How did you do that?” asked Fluttershy, coming out of the safe room, “I have to get very close to angry birds to use my stare.”

“Well, you see, after knowing a certain pigeon-obsessed friend of mine since we were colts, I have learned a few things on calming angry pigeons,” said Humble, remembering when Coil petted a baby pigeon and was attacked by its mother, “Hmm, it seems this little guy got a small splinter in his talons.” Humble gently took the splinter out while the pigeon calmed down even more and flew peacefully away.

“Oh no,” said Fluttershy, “I thought Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were fixing that fence.”

“See? I told you this darn fence has a lot of splinters!” said Apple Bloom taking one out of her hoof, “Ouch!”

“Well, it wasn’t my fault we agreed on painting Fluttershy’s fence,” said Sweetie Belle, trying to wipe some paint off of her face.

“Stop complaining!” said Scootaloo, who was covered in white paint. “At least you don’t look like a Princess Celestia cosplayer!”

“Well, well.”

The three Crusaders turned to see Diamond Tiara trotting down the road with her friend Silver Spoon.

“Look, Silver Spoon, it’s the cutie mark lamers!” she smirked, causing the two to laugh out loud.

“What do you want, Diamond Tiara?” groaned Apple Bloom, “We’re kinda busy painting this here fence.”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle, rubbing her face on the grass, “And ‘lamer’ isn’t even a word!”

“Like I care. I just wanted to drop by and say that I’m going to be first in line to see A.K Yearling,” said Diamond with a superior sneer.

“What?!” shouted the three fillies.

“Yeah,” said Silver Spoon, “Since Diamond’s dad owns the store where it’s happening, we get to go first.”

“So have fun painting!” Diamond laughed, “Maybe you can paint yourselves some cutie marks, blank flanks!” She and Silver Spoon then turned to leave.

“Hmmm,” thought Apple Bloom before a devious grin came to her face, “Oh, we’ll definitely have fun....”

“What?” said Diamond Tiara, turning around along with Silver Spoon.

“We’re gonna have the most fun painting this here fence,” replied Apple Bloom while her friends just looked at her with puzzled looks.

“Wait, Apple Bloom,” said Scootaloo, before Apple Bloom shooshed her.

“Now Scootaloo, I’m sure Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have something else to do then helping paint this here fun fence,” said Apple Bloom while giving a swish of the brush. “I’m sure they aren’t gonna miss any of the fun we’re going to have painting this fence. In fact, we’ll be having a lot more fun than they will!.”

“Now, wait just a minute!” said Diamond Tiara as she grabbed a brush with her mouth, “Me and Silver Spoon can have just as much fun as you painting some stupid fence!”

“Yeah!” said Silver Spoon as she and Diamond stated painting the fence.

“Apple Bloom,” whispered Scootaloo, “What are you doing?”

“Yeah, we were brushing that,” said Sweetie Belle.

“I just didn’t like them bragging about them cutting to the front of the line,” said a smiling Apple Bloom as Diamond Tiara unwittingly got some paint in her mane. “Besides now we don't have to paint the fence. I saw it in a book by Humble.”

“What book?” said Scootaloo.

“You know, the one with the colt who cons everypony,” replied Apple Bloom.

“Ohhh,” said Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, finally understanding what Apple Bloom had done.

“But wait,” said Sweetie Belle, “What if our cutie marks are in painting?”

Looking at each other for a second, the three fillies joined Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in finishing the fence.

“Owie!” cried Diamond Tiara, “A splinter!”

“Hmmm,” thought Humble sitting down for a snack.

“What’s wrong, Humble?” said Fluttershy, offering him some tea.

“Nothing, my dear,” said Humble, accepting the tea, “I just have a feeling somebody tried to do a trope in one of my books and failed spectacularly at it.” He took a quick sip.

“So, umm, Humble, I’m quite a fan of your books, well, um, book, not to say the others aren’t good but-eep!” said Fluttershy, hiding her face behind her mane.

“It’s quite alright, my dear,” chuckled Humble at the mare’s shyness, “Which book are you a fan of?”

“I’m a bit embarrassed to say which one,” said a blushing Fluttershy.

“Come on,” said Humble with a grin, “I don’t discriminate against fans.”

“Well, I liked your book about the little dragonfly who is very shy, but meets a toad who is very open,” said Fluttershy, smiling.

“Oh, you mean my foal series, Flying Lilypads?” said Humble, returning her smile.

“Oh…. Angel was right then, when he said it was a foal’s book,” said Fluttershy with her face down.

“Oh don’t be so hard on yourself dear,” said Humble, picking Fluttershy’s muzzle up, “I like to read foal books, too.”

“You do?” said Fluttershy.

“Of course. Coil makes me read them to him all the time….”

“Story time!” said Coil Sparks jumping into bed with his pigeon pajamas and his stuffed toy pigeon Coo by his side.

“Yep,” said Humble, getting his reading glasses, “So, what story do you want to hear today?”

“Hmmm,” thought Coil thinking of a story, “Oh! How about ‘Good Morning Luna’?”

“Alright,” said Humble picking up the book. “Goodnight moon, goodnight dear sister, goodnight royal guards, goodnight dear citizens, goodnight….”

After only a few more seconds of reading, Coil had fallen asleep.

“My favorite is The Starving Parasprite,” said Pinkie, “I like the pictures of the food!”

“I remember,” said Humble while Fluttershy giggled, “Every time I came by the farm, you would always have me read it to you, along with my other stories.”

“Aww,” said Fluttershy, “That’s so adorable.” Just then, Angel hopped up to Humble and looked him over before nodding in approval and hopping away. “Oh, Angel seems to like you.”

“Well, I learned a lot about animals when I was young,” said Humble, taking a bite out of a cookie. After a few more minutes of talking (along with the occasional feeding of the animals), Humble had decided he had to get going. “‘Well, thank you for the tea, Miss Fluttershy, but I think Pinkie’s itching to have me meet Miss Rarity again,” Humble said as Pinkie scratched herself with a stick.

“Mmmm, barky!” said Pinkie.

“Oh, it’s alright,” said Fluttershy with a smile, “it was nice talking with you.”

“And you as well, dear,” said Humble at the front door, before turning to his niece, “Well, come along, Pinkie. Unless you don't want me to see Miss Rarity again.”

“Um-uh,” said Pinkie, trotting over to Humble with a mouthful of sugar cubes, “Wye, Fwutterhy!”

“Bye,” said Fluttershy as she waved at Humble and Pinkie as they went out the door. “Now where are you, Mr. Duck?” she said after they left, “it’s your bill cleaning day.”

“I guess you were right, Pinkie,” said Humble as they neared the boutique, “Miss Fluttershy just needs to get to know a pony before opening up to them.”

“Yep,” said Pinkie, smiling as she ate her last piece of candy, “But Rarity is always open for business!” she said knocking on the boutique door.

“Go away!” screamed the muffled voice of Rarity from behind the door, “We’re closed!”

“But Rarity! It’s me, Pinkie! And my uncle is here, too!”

“Pinkie and Humble?” said Rarity as she cracked open the door, “One moment.” After unlocking the door, she let them in.

“Wow,” said Humble at the sight of a roomful of clothes of all colors and materials sprawled everywhere, “Were we interrupting something, Miss Rarity?”

“Hmm?” said Rarity before noticing the mess, “Oh my! I’m so dreadfully sorry about the mess, Humble.”

“It’s alright,” chuckled Humble while helping Rarity with her supplies, “So what is the deal with all the clothes?”

“Yeah,” said Pinkie trying to untangle herself in yarn she had tried putting away, “You’re not usually a busy pony unless it’s important.”

“Oh, but darling,” said Rarity, helping Pinkie get untangled, “This is important. I need a sturdy figure to model for my new designs but my model, Caramel, tripped on a chair and broke his foreleg! My clients need the designs by Tuesday!” She started sobbing a bit.

“Oh, hon,” said Humble patting Rarity on the head, “I’m sure you will find another model in time for your deadline.”

“Thank you, Humble,” said Rarity giving a sniffling smile. “But where am I going to find---say….” she stopped, looking Humble over, “what size are you?”

“Huh?” said Humble, taken back by the question.

“Ohhh, unkie Humble!” Pinkie turned away from making silly faces in the mirrors, “You get to model for Rarity!”

“What?!” said Humble, panicking as if he was being cornered, “Now, wait just a mi-”

“Humble, I just need you to put on a jacket and uniform,” pleaded Rarity, “Pinkie is simply too small in frame, and Applejack is too busy!”

“No! I’m not some object you can--”

“Pwease?” said Rarity with her best puppy eyes.

“Pwease?” said Pinkie doing her best Sweetie Belle impression.

There was a long pause in which Humble seemed to struggle against relenting.  Finally, he sighed in defeat, “Ugh, fine.” Pinkie jumped for joy in response.

“Thank you so much! Here are the outfits, you can get dressed over there,” said Rarity, giving Humble a box before pointing at a folding screen in the corner of the room.

“Alright,” said Humble, trotting over to the screen, “I better not look ridiculous!”

“I assure you darling, you will look ravishing!” said Rarity as she and Pinkie waited for Humble to get dressed.

After a few minutes of waiting, eventually Rarity and Pinkie heard Humble speak, “Okay, I’m coming out in the uniform first, to get the weirder of the two done with.” Humble trotted out to the modeling platform in dark green boots, making loud thumping noises as he went. On his torso was a long, royal-blue-colored coat with crossed bars of white, over an equally white undershirt, connected by buttons of brass on each bar. Atop his mane stood a towering hat with the symbol of equestria on it. Pinkie merely looked at her uncle with awed eyes while Rarity examined her design for any flaws before deciding what it was in her own words.

“A total disaster!” whined Rarity, “A dark stain on my otherwise perfect career!”  She rushed to her freezer and produced a huge tub of ice cream.

“What are you talking about, silly?” said a shocked Pinkie, “Unkie Humble looks fantastic!”

“Really?” said Rarity through tears as she began digging into her comfort food, “Humble, what do you think?”

“Well, it’s a little rigid,” said Humble.

“Y-y-yes….?” sobbed Rarity, taking a bite out of her ice cream.

“But other than that, it’s quite nice,” said Humble, calming Rarity a bit.

“Oh, thank you, dears,” said Rarity, subtly licking a smudge of ice cream off her muzzle, “I just hope my clients think so, too.”

“Speaking of which, who are these clients of yours?”

“Well, you see,” said Rarity putting away her ice cream, “I got a letter from Princess Celestia a few days ago...”

Rarity turned to the sound of her doorbell ringing.  “I wonder who that could be,” she said as she went to open the door. On the other side stood the mail mare of Ponyville, Derpy Doo. “Oh, Miss Doo, what can I do for you?”

“I’ve got a letter for you,” said Derpy, stuffing her face into her mail bag.  She came up with an envelope between her teeth.

“Oh? From who?” said Rarity while taking the letter.

“I don’t know,” said Derpy, “I remember a guard pony coming up to me and saying it was state business, and when I tried to ask questions, he shoved a muffin in my mouth.” She rubbed her stomach and grinned, “It was delicious! Well, gotta go. Bye-bye!” And with that, she flew off to continue her work.

“Hmmm,” said Rarity, closing the door, “I wonder who the message--oh my Celestia! It’s from Celestia! I’d recognize her royal seal anywhere!” She tore open the letter and began reading out loud:

. “Dear Rarity…

I have seen the castle guards, along with a letter from the Crystal Empire with details of their own castle guards, and have concluded that the present guard uniform is inadequate for certain situations that we have recently encountered. We would like to ask you to please make a more suitable uniform for the guards of all our Equestrian nations, to make them lighter (to avoid heat stroke) while at the same time finding a way to keep them equally protected from enemies. You shall receive a generous amount of bits enclosed with this letter for any supplies or other necessities needed to make this project reach success.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Perhaps something in blue?”

After Rarity read the letter, she looked up in amazement, “To design the new guard uniforms!?” she said to herself, “I must not fail!” A gleam in her eyes that had never been seen before in them appeared, determined to show the world that you can fight like an unstoppable force and still look suitable for tea.

“And that’s why I have to make sure they are perfect!” said Rarity laying on her fainting couch, while Humble and Pinkie sat on the guest fainting couches she paid for with the extra money.

“Wow,” said Pinkie, “These couches are comfy!”

“So, Miss Rarity,” said Humble, looking up at the ceiling, “I mean no disrespect, but wouldn’t it be easier for Princess Celestia to get a designer from Canterlot?”

“Well, I asked myself the same thing,” explained Rarity, “But the day after that first letter came, I received another saying that all the other designers are busy with private projects for the nobles. Besides, she said she wanted a uniform made from one of the Elements of Harmony.” That last part was spoken with a hint of pride.

“Huh,” said Humble, “Well better get that other outfit on,” He trotted back behind the screen, only to emerge a few more minutes later dressed in a dark grey suit with small gemstones in the stitches. It shimmered brightly in the light of the room.

“You look gorgeous!” said Rarity, marveling at Humble’s new look, “In fact, I want you to keep it as a gift from me.”

“Unkie Humble, say yes!” Pinkie gasped, who was also admiring the suit, “You look so fancy!”

“But Miss Rarity,” said Humble, “I couldn’t. This is for your client, after all.”

“To be honest, darling, I just wanted to make your size just right,” said Rarity with a giggle.

“Wait, how do you know my size?” said Humble, sounding a little creeped out.

“It’s in the back of your book,” said Rarity, taking out her copy of Ice Barrels before flipping to an author note with a picture of Humble on it.  At the end of the note were the words: “He is five hooves across and four hooves high”.

“I thought I told Coil not to send that to the publisher,” said Humble, facehoofing, “Oh well, I suppose the suit is rather comfy, and it does look rather nice on me.” He looked at himself in the mirror for a few seconds, nodded, and said, “I’ll take it.”

“Oh, thank you darling!” said Rarity giving a nod of approval, “And do be sure to tell anypony that asks who made it.”

“I will,” said Humble, getting his other shirt, “Well, I’m afraid we have to go now, if we want to make it in time for supper. It was a pleasure to meet you again, Miss Rarity. Come on, Pinkie.”

“Bye, Rarity!” said Pinkie bouncing out the door with her uncle.

“Goodbye, Humble,” said Rarity getting back to work on finishing her designs. Minutes after Pinkie and Humble left, the front door of the shop was thrust open again.

“Rarity!” yelled a paint-covered Sweetie Belle as she, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo walked in, “What does painting poisoning look like?”

“So, Pinkie,” said Humble, trotting along in his new outfit, “Whose--woah!”

“Twilight’s castle!” shouted Pinkie as she dragged her uncle off to the shimmering structure in the distance.

“So, any exits we can use?” said Lemon while eating an apple he’d just bought.

“A few,” replied Stale, who was reading a Canterlot newspaper with the headline, “Prince Blueblood Makes Plans to Invest in Manehattan Institute of Knowledge” on the front page. “I don’t think the cart is gonna work, though.”

“Why not?” replied Lemon, throwing away the apple core.

“All the trails lead away from Manhattan. And before you ask, no, we can’t use the train or we’ll get caught.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“I got a plan. See this?” said Stale, taking out a map, “I bought this at the Bargain Barns store down the road. It’s a map of the river system.”

“The river? Isn’t that a little risky?”

“It would be if I didn’t know a few shortcuts I overheard from a river guide. This one area here is narrow, but deep enough for a boat. And it’s hidden among a long row of trees.”

“Hmmm, but wait,” said Lemon. “How are we gonna get a boat for it?”

“Don’t worry, I rented us one,” said Stale, “All we gotta do tomorrow is what Pike wants, and it’s smooth sailing from here to Manehattan.”

Next Chapter: A awkward time Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 59 Minutes