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Luna's Coffee

by Curify

Chapter 1: It Keeps Lulu Awake Some Nights


Luna loves her coffee.

Midnight black, sugary trap, and of careful craft; coffee is her jittery, delicious desire. She returns to its warmth as she stares out into the night. She needs her drink or she will be tired for the morning court.

Luna hates morning court.

The ponies moan and groan to the point where she does not give them heed. They complain over things that need no pity. No common pony would complain of such miniscule dilemmas, yet these nobles complain about the sun's rays missing the plant they planted by zero point five degrees. Who in their right mind does that?

Luna hates nobles.

Nobility: a system where ranking is specified by how much money your house has, or if you’re closely related to those in charge. Celestia and Luna love those close to them, especially those of the house which sparkles, their undying loyalty to the crown made Luna smile tenfold. She couldn’t have enough respect for them.

Luna loves sparkles.

Her night sky sparkles brightly for all to see. Her mane sparkles in her night light, flowing gently in the breeze which stays persistent in its measure.

Luna hates measuring.

Last time she measured something, her lucky-charm-maned sister yelled at her for putting too much flour in her cake. Apparently too much of the substance caused her sister to bloat, or at least that’s what she was told. Most of the nobles suspected that she gained a few extra cubic inches on her plump of a rump, but Luna couldn’t believe that. After all, Celestia has said she’s been trying to lose the extra poundage…

Luna hates liars.

She spotted her sister’s good-for-nothing dear nephew sporting his new coat that Celestia supposedly bought him as a present for Hearth’s Warming Eve. At least, that’s what he told her. When Luna asked her sister about it, Celestia laughed. Loudly. Celestia told her he stole it from a nearby provider of coats. Hearing this, Luna erupted in anger and confronted the lying thief. To say he was sent to the moon would be an understatement.

Luna loves justice.

Justice is to be served on a platter full of nice, assorted delectables filled with whipped cream or creamy custard. In her eyes, food was the main reason Celestia was kept sane. With Twilight Sparkle breathing down her neck, she could not think straight. Neither could Luna, especially with the creamy delight set right in front of her…

Luna loves thinking.

As the midnight mare stares out into the night, she contemplates over life. Did she miss something important? Did the mailmare not deliver her new copy of All Things Nightly? Did she forget to raise the moon again? She looks out and spots her moon. No, she did not forget anything.

Luna loves her moon.

Moons makes her night bright. Moons helps show her stars' magnificent patterns and design. Moons depicts her lovely demeanor every time she raises its glorious being. Moons is her nickname for the moon.

Luna loves nicknames.

Princess Moonbutt is what she is referred to by those who stare at her profound buttox. Of course, no one can top Princess Sunbottom and her distinct roundness and definition. The Royal Sunny D cannot be stopped, especially when the sun is at its brightest. No one can attest the Moon Pie’s Crowning achievement of being in power with her counterpart of family and friendship.

Luna loves her sister.

Nicknames aside, Luna cannot resist waking up and greeting her sister at her sister’s room. She cannot handle snickering when her sister spills the contents in her royal, banana-shaped chalice on top of some poor stallion's head, especially when said chalice was dropped from the balcony in her sister’s chambers. Luna cannot help but smile when she learns something new about Celestia: how she walks in the same awkward walk cycle for more than a few minutes before realizing she doesn’t follow her own standards of living, how she speaks in such a motherly tone to everypony but doesn’t even sport it when talking to her own sister, and how calm she is when speaking to a large crowd of her subjects.

Luna hates the word ‘subjects’.

Luna avoided this word like the plague. After being notified that subjects aren’t ponies, she cracked down on what it really meant in modern times. Then, she realized that subjects are those specific categories you take when you are in school: Math, Reading, Science, Equestrian, Development of the Body, Spell-casting, History, Writing, Magic Engineering, Civil Engineering, Communications, Art, Nursing 101, Education, The Study of Wombo, and the most important one of all: Recess.

Luna loves free time.

Whenever she has it, she utilizes it for her own advantage. She has become a very strong, uniform prankster that creates the best of pranks with her magic. She once pranked the all powerful, all knowing Trixie by plugging her thoughts into Trixie’s, causing the poor mare to think that only the real Trixie would know how big her own toe was. Too bad she couldn’t figure out what her toe was, not that she has more than one of those.

Luna loves uniformity.

Unity in numbers… something Luna has desired for a long while. She walks on her balcony all the night and asks herself: does she have uniformity in her life? Is she conveying herself in a manner that depicts uniformity? Would her ponies like it if she did more of this?

Maybe she should test this out.

Luna loves her night.

As she stands proudly on her balcony, her cup of coffee in her magical grasp, one must think.

Does she love her job?

Taking a swig of her coffee, she looks down at the vast expanse of her nation, one she built long ago with her sister building just as much.

Luna has been gone for a while, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t get any credit. Celestia did maintain this as well as she did…

...but now it is her turn to bring more than just harmony to this place.

She takes another gulp of her coffee and stares into its container.

The midnight black, sugary treat stares at her, the steam still rising off her hot drink and still uniform as can be.

Yes, she loves her job of making your sun disappear.

Yes, she has uniformity in her life.

Yes, she loves her free time... and pranking.

No, she does not like the word ‘subjects’, but knows a lot of them.

Yes, she loves her sister as much as she loves her friends.

Yes, she is the all powerful Moon Pie of Butts.

Yes, she loves her Moons.

Yes, she loves thinking of herself and others.

Yes, she loves justice served on a nice platter of desserts and lovely delights.

No, she does not like liars, especially those who steal from those who do not have much.

No, she does not love to measure, for it causes inflation of the gluteus maximus.

Yes, she loves her sparkling sky and all who sparkle with it.

No, she loves no noble who uses her for their own gain.

No, she does not love those who whine in the court of the day…

But most importantly…

She absolutely loves her coffee because it keeps her up some nights, giving her the time to think about her lovely sky.

She takes another sip of her coffee, before realizing the liquid of warmth was for naught, extinguished.

She curses beneath her breath. She must acquire some more of her delightful drink. Hopefully, the maids can get her another cup…

...so she can stay uniform and sane for the new day.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlPr0nzCZ58

Written in an hour, without break.12:05 AM to 1:07 AM.

Need some coffee now.

-Soaring

2018:

Hope this makes up for not being around. Think I need to just pick a place and stay, and here is where I will stay.

Return to Story Description

Other Titles in this Series:

  1. Luna's Coffee

    by Curify
    7 Dislikes, 1,789 Views

    Luna's musings... with some coffee.

    Teen
    Complete
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    1 Chapter, 1,278 words: Estimated 6 Minutes to read: Cached
    Published Oct 5th, 2014
  2. Luna's Liquid Lecture

    by 1234
    3 Dislikes, 408 Views

    Lectures of the one Princess whose coffee could not be beat. She must be patient with her young students for this may be her only time to teach them about the wondrous drink of Equestria.

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