Author's Notes:

Written for PANIC! AT THE CRISCO! or PANIC! number 73. Prompt was "cocktails". 17 minutes to write, 6 minutes to edit/cry, and max word count of 956. I actually managed to make it to the second round, with a total of 15 participants. The largest PANIC! yet!

Be sure to ask about the Quills and Sofa's Speedwriting Server. There's also a group here on fimmy fic for it.

“No.” The word Applejack said was stern and said with a hardness that would put any stud to shame.

“Oh come on, AJ. It’ll be fun!” Rainbow said, giving her friend a genuine smile large enough to fill her own ego with.

“And I said no. There’s no way I’m doin’ that to one of my roosters, let alone myself.”

Rainbow blew a raspberry. “Come on, it’s not that bad or anything. I’ve done it a few times with the ‘Bolts. You get used to it.”

“And again I said no. Why are we even having this discussion? I asked you to help clean the dishes since you had dinner here again. Fer Celestia’s sake, Applebloom is just in the other room! Have you no shame?”

“No, not really. Also wouldn’t it be now In Twilight’s Name? Or For Sparkle’s Sake? Oh, that one kinds rolls off the tongue better.”

“I ain’t about to use one of my best friend’s name as an expression.”

“Oh? And why’s that? Afraid of calling it out when you’re…” Rainbow leaned forward, whispering into Applejack’s ear, “... hot and bothered?”

A chill ran down Applejack’s spine. The kind of tingle that would either lead to a buck in the face, or a buck in… other places best left between consenting adults.

“I’m sorry, RD, but this just sounds wrong. I can’t go abusing a part of myself like that.”

“Geeze, it’s just your tail, not like I’m gonna cut it off.”

“And what about my cock?”

Rainbow raised a brow.

“Are you gonna… abuse that, too?”

“Well, duh, that’s part of the deal. We just gotta coax him out of his little house, get him excited, and BAM!” Rainbow reinforced the exclamation with a smack of her hoof on the table.

Applejack gulped, looked over her shoulder into the living room where the rest of her family was enjoying a radio program, and then back to Rainbow.

“Well… I’ve never done anything quite like this, but if you’re sure.”

“Awesome! This’ll be fun, trust me.” Rainbow began marching outside, while Applejack held back.

“Where are you going?”

Rainbow paused at the open door. “Out to the hen house? If we’re gonna do this, I figured we need a cock.

Applejack blinked. “Oh, you meant an actual cock, a rooster.”

“Well yeah, duh, what did you think I-” Rainbow paused, eyes going wide. “Wait…”

“Yeah,” Applejack rubbed the back of her head. Spreading her forelegs, she, along with Rainbow, looked between them at the hunk of meat hanging low, “I thought you meant my dick.”