Apple Bloom felt her blood flowing faster. She smirked bitterly and lowered her hooves, listening to the shrieks of the zombies mixing with Sweetie Belle’s squeals. Behind her, Scootaloo was flapping her wings as fast as she could, pulling them away from danger. The wind was ruffling Apple Bloom’s mane. She closed her eyes and focused on those delightful screams piercing the silence of the orchard. She lowered her hooves, giving out a small moan of pleasure.

“Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “If you don’t stop touching yourself, I’m gonna disconnect the wagon and leave you behind!”

“Hey! Don’t ya tell me that her screams aren’t cute...” Apple Bloom said. “Ah’d like to look into her dead eyes when Ah finish, but ya can’t always get what ya want...”

“Eww...” Scootaloo muttered. “How can you do that? Sure, she killed our parents, but she was our friend!”

“C’mon, Scootaloo! Ah bet ya’d want to do that too...”

“Umm...” Scootaloo didn’t want to agree, but her wings were indeed getting a little stiff, making reaching her maximal speed nearly impossible. She didn’t exactly know what it meant, but it had happened before, usually when she was looking at one of her Rainbow Dash posters. She once told Rainbow Dash about it. Rainbow told her that it was normal and that she should come to her house once so they could work on it a bit.

“No time for ‘umms’,” Apple Bloom said. “They’re coming!”

Scootaloo flapped her wings harder, trying not to think how she wanted to come. Apple Bloom was right: even at the moment of her death, Sweetie Belle could be adorable. The scooter darted forward, leaving zombies in a cloud of dust. Apple Bloom lay back in the wagon, trying to get back into mood.

She, however, wasn’t able to do anything more than that. The scooter skid to a halt, almost causing her to fall out of the wagon. “What the hay?” she asked.

“Is it Button going with Twist to the Sugarcube Corner?” Scootaloo asked.

“What?” Apple Bloom exclaimed, getting up and wiping her hoof with her tail. “Ah need to tell Sweetie that he cheats on her!”

“I guess Sweetie won’t mind...” Scootaloo muttered, thinking about Sweetie Belle hanging on a rope from their clubhouse, like some grotesque pinata. “We kinda left her hanging...”

“But it doesn’t mean that...” Apple Bloom sighed. “Anyway, what is he thinking? The world around has fallen to horseapples and he’s going on a date with Twist?”

“You don’t like her because she got her cutie mark before you. Admit it.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “It seems that they’re not infected. Maybe we should team up with them?”

“Said the pony who snapped Silver Spoon’s neck...”

“Don’t be such a bully!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Is it because I’m a pegasus?”

“No, it’s because ya are a dense pegasus,” Apple Bloom replied.

“Anyway, they’re not gonna live long,” Scootaloo said, pointing at Tootsie Flute, who was bouncing happily with a candy bucket in her teeth. She was a bit bigger than before and her eyes were glowing red, but somehow she still managed to be cute.

“Umm... Scootaloo...”

“Yes?”

“There’s a dozen of zombies approaching us from behind and ya are staring at Tootsie Flute!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

Scootaloo flapped her wings and darted forward, towards Sugarcube Corner.

Tootsie Flute gathered the candies lying on the ground and put them in her bucket. She looked at her loot and smiled. There were the red ones that could make other ponies join her, the green ones that could make her spit acid at bad ponies such as Twilight and Rarity, and yellow ones that were making her stronger. She trotted further towards the bakery and saw something that was even more interesting than candies.

Diamond Tiara was lying on the ground under one of the tables. Tootsie saw that somepony had smashed her skull with something heavy, causing her brain to flow out through her ears. Tootsie smiled – finally she didn’t have to bite through the layers of skin and bones to get to it. She trotted to Diamond Tiara and started to lick her brain from the floor. It tasted like cotton candy.

Suddenly, she heard a groan. She raised her head and saw that Silver Spoon was lying not far away from Diamond Tiara’s body. She’d just woken up and started to rub her neck.

“Damn you, Scootaloo...” Silver Spoon muttered. “You can’t even snap a pony’s neck...” She looked at Tootsie. “Hello,” she said. “Do you know if the spa is open? I need a massage...”

Tootsie gave out a groan and shrugged.

Silver Spoon stood up. “I don’t know what’s going on... Diamond suddenly went crazy... Sweetie Belle killed her... And I’m so hungry!”

Tootsie nodded and took a few of the red candies from her bucket. She gave them to Silver and went back to scraping Diamond Tiara’s brain off the floor.

“Are you sure they’re safe?” Silver Spoon asked, looking at the candies unsurely.

Tootsie Flute gave out an affirmative grunt.

“If you say so...” Silver Spoon unwrapped a couple of the candies and swallowed them. Suddenly, she heard the sound of flapping wings and saw Scootaloo and Apple Bloom approaching her. She looked at the floor and picked up a spoon from some abandoned milkshake. It was a really nice spoon.

“Silver!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, completely ignoring the fact that Tootsie Flute just ripped Diamond Tiara’s ear off. “Ya’re alive!” She got out of the wagon and trotted to Silver Spoon. “We need to hide somewhere. There are zombies comin’ from... Aaargh!” Apple Bloom screamed when Silver Spoon pierced her eye with a spoon. “Scootaloo! Help!”

“I’m sorry, Apple Bloom... I’m so sorry...” Scootaloo whispered and disconnected the wagon from her scooter. Seeing that Silver tore the spoon out of Apple Bloom’s socket and started to munch her eye, she flapped her wings and rode away.

“Dirty coward!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, trying to run away when Tootsie Flute tackled her. Diamond Tiara’s brain was good, but it was a little stale. She wanted something fresh and apple-flavoured.

“Help!” Apple Bloom shouted. One of her eyes was gone and Tootsie was now trying to sink her teeth in her skull. Not to mention that Silver was now aiming the spoon at her other eye. “Please... Scootaloo... Sweetie...” She cried, her tears mixing with blood flowing down her face.

More zombies approached. Apple Bloom thrashed and the spoon left a large gash on her cheek. Tootsie Flute bit her arm, sending the wave of numbness across her body.

Apple Bloom turned her head, avoiding yet another attack and, to her surprise, she saw Sweetie Belle among the zombies. She wasn’t sure if it was a hallucination. But Sweetie definitely was there. She trotted to her, pushing Tootsie Flute off of her.

“Sweetie!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “How did ya do that? They didn’t eat your brain!”

“I have to tell you something,” said Sweetie in a monotone and picked up a straw. “I have no brain...”

Apple Bloom screamed when Silver’s spoon finally found its way to her other eye. A wave of pain pierced through her skull when the optic nerve was severed. She couldn’t see anything, but she knew that her eyeball was now being devoured by Silver Spoon.

“No...” she whispered when some strong hooves caught her. She started to choke when Sweetie Belle forced the straw up her nose, plunging it deeper and deeper. Her body twitched when the straw found its target. All she heard was some slurping noise. She could hear it both inside and outside of her head. Her muscles twitched once again, then they went limp. Tootsie Flute winced when she saw that Apple Bloom lost control over her sphincters, but then she quickly bit a portion of her skull off and started to eat the parts of the brain Sweetie couldn’t reach with her straw.

It really tasted like apples.

“Have you seen it?” Twist asked, looking through the window of Sugarcube Corner. They managed to sneak past the zombies since they were busy with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Button shook violently, fell to his haunches and started to vomit on the floor.

“I take that as ‘yes’,” Twist deadpanned.

Button rolled on his back. He considered eating something else just to throw it up to fully express his feelings towards what he’d just seen.

“Get up, Button,” Twist said. “We need to barricade the door and look for Pinkie.”

“They... sucked... her... brain... out...”

“So?” Twist asked. “Come on, or your brain will be next...”

“I don’t want my brain to be next...”

Twist rolled her eyes. “Button, don’t be a...” She mouthed a certain name of mare’s private bits starting with “c” wordlessly.

“I’m not!” Button exclaimed, getting up. “I’m okay, just... You know, my brain was always very precious to me...”

“So be cool and stay cool,” Twist said. “Or they’ll get you. And if they don’t, I will...”

“Yes. I’m cool,” Button replied. He started to look for something in his saddlebags. Finally he produced a small package from it.

Twist looked at him unsurely. “Why do you need that?”

“Stress relief.”

Twist facehoofed. “Button, you can’t get pregnant when you’re relieving stress on your own...”

“What does pregnancy have to do with that?” Button asked. “My bro gives them to me everytime he hears I’m going to visit you.” He took a condom from the package and put it in his mouth. “Hmm, banana...” he muttered. “The thing is, I’m less nervous...” He blew a large balloon. “And I can do cool balloon stuff!”

Twist shook her head and barricaded the door with chairs, tables, and anything heavy she could find. Then she went back to Button, who was still chewing a condom. “You know...” she said. “For a moment I considered spending the rest of my life with you... Giving birth to your children...”

“And now?” Button asked.

“Now I’m not sure.” Twist looked at the door which started to shake when zombies started to ram into it. “Though maybe I’ll have to spend the rest of my life with you...”

“Let’s find Pinkie, okay?” Button said. He had a feeling that he missed some great occasion in his life. It quickly disappeared. He wasn’t one to think about such things for too long.

They trotted upstairs. Button picked a chair’s leg and looked around. If Pound or Pumpkin Cake ate the candies, he didn’t want to meet them unarmed.

Pinkie Pie’s kitchen was empty. The remains of dough were scattered around. Shards of broken plates littered the floor. Button stepped into it carefully, holding the chair’s leg in his teeth. Twist trotted behind him, looking around.

“No bodies,” she muttered. “I don’t like it...”

“Yeah, I’d also prefer another bloody corpse here...” Button deadpanned. “Can’t you just enjoy a little moment without anypony next to us getting slaughtered, zombies sucking brains with straws and your crazy sister who got us into that mess?”

“Button,” Twist said. “When I told you to not be a pussy, I didn’t mean that you have to be a dick instead...”

“It’s that gum.” Button blew a large balloon from his condom. “My brother said that it makes you more manly...”

“Tell your brother to slam his head against the wall. And tell your mom to tell you about the birds and the bees...”

“Hey, I know that story!” Button exclaimed. “Birds, bees, tentacles...”

“Yeah...” Twist muttered. “Too bad our biggest tentacle lover just ate Apple Bloom’s eyes with a spoon...”

Button nodded and sighed. “And who’ll lend me all those mangas now? Though maybe I’ll manage to loot her room...”

“As I said, no side quests...” Twist muttered. “Wonder where they went...”

“No idea...” Button replied and opened one of the cupboards. “Aargh!”

Something small, consisting mostly of wings, brown mane and enormous fangs jumped out of the cupboard and grabbed his face. Just when Twist thought that she’d have to kill him before a small zombie would erupt from his chest, Button managed to shake the attacker off his face, throwing him against the floor. The little zombie, however, didn’t hit it: he slowed the fall with his wings and darted back at Button.

Button swung the chair’s leg, trying to smash the zombie in mid-air, but he grabbed the makeshift club with his teeth. Cursing under his breath, Button swung it at the wall. The zombie disconnected with a crunch of breaking fangs, bounced off the wall and fell into the blender standing on the worktop. He hissed and started spitting acid around, but before he managed to get out of the blender, Button closed it and turned it on. The sound of the electric engine was like a music to his ears.

“Wow...” Twist muttered, staring at red and green goo with feathers inside of the blender. “Mashed Pound Cake...”

“Mashed? That was... twisted...” Button replied. “Let’s get outta here... If it was Pound, I’d rather not meet Pumpkin...”

The went out of the kitchen and trotted down the corridor. Button barely noticed the bloodstains on the carpet. Only when they went behind the corner and saw the body of Mrs. Cake lying on the floor, he realised that something was wrong.

“Looks like she’s been dead a long time...” Twist muttered, approaching the body to take a closer look. “Bones are bent outward, like she exploded from the inside...”

“I’d rather not know what caused it...” Button said, trying to get past Mrs. Cake without touching her. He was about to succeed when suddenly magic flashed in front of him and, to his horror, he saw Pumpkin Cake.

The filly smiled at him, showing much more teeth that a filly this age would have. He jumped backwards and that was what saved his life: she teleported exactly in the place where his stomach was just a split second earlier.

“Twist!” Button shouted, jumping and bouncing like a cat on meth. “Don’t stand in one place for too long!”

Pumpkin appeared inches from him. He swung the chair’s leg at her, only to miss when she teleported again, this time landing on his head. Twist darted forward, punching Button when Pumpkin disappeared from him. She reappeared on the other side of her mother’s body, grinning widely. Twist grabbed Button’s makeshift club and threw it at her. Pumpkin teleported next to her...

A well-placed hit with a guitar Button had been carrying with him, changed her into a bloody smear on the floor and the wall. She twitched once more, before Button hit her with a guitar once more and turned it, grinding her deeper into the carpet.

“Check this riff,” Button muttered, wiping blood from the guitar. “It’s smashing...”

“You know,” Twist said. “Sometimes I sit alone at night listening to goregrind, but it’s much better...”

“Yeah...” Button nodded. “Do you know what my favourite band is?”

“If you say The Smashing Pumpkins, I’ll kill you,” Twist said.

“I was going to say My Bloody Hearts and Hooves, but I know what you’ll say...” Button muttered.

“What would I say?” Twist asked, looking at Button unsurely.

“You know…” Button hesitated, avoiding her gaze. “That my taste in music is softer than yours…”

“You mean I’d think it’s gay?” Twist chuckled. “Dude, you just threw a baby pegasus into a blender and made a pulp out of his sister with a guitar. Also, we didn’t die during the zombie apocalypse. For me, it’s pretty hardcore…”

“You really think so?” Button asked.

Twist slowly approached him, looking deeply into his eyes. “I do…”

Button closed his eyes and moved forward closer to her, when suddenly, he heard a distinctive sound usually associated with a herd of zombies busting through the door. He opened his eyes and gulped, wondering how many heads he could smash with his guitar before it’d break.

“It’s high time to find Pinkie and get outta here…” Twist said.

“You’re right,” Button replied. “PINKIE!!! WHERE ARE YOU?”

“Here!” They heard Pinkie’s voice coming from behind the nearby door. “Are you zombies?”

“No!” Button screamed back. “But soon we’ll be if you don’t open the door!”

“Umm… Okay, test question: what’s your favourite food?” Pinkie asked.

“Really, Pinkie?” Twist rolled her eyes. “Peppermint candies.”

Button heard the screeching and hissing of the zombies, as well as heavy hoofsteps of those who decided to go upstairs. “Umm… bananas with chocolate!”

The door opened. They quickly ran inside the room. Pinkie locked the door and barricaded it with almost all the furniture she had in her room. Even Gummy was sitting at the top of the barricade, staring blankly at them.

“Hello,” Pinkie said. “Have you heard about vegetarian zombies? Do you know what do they eat?”

“What?” Button asked.

“Grainssss…” Pinkie Pie laughed. “Anyway, you chose a really bad moment to come here…”

“What do you mean?” Twist asked. “There are zombies coming here, but we thought that you’d help us fight them… Give us some cool weapons…”

“Sorry, no free items,” Pinkie said. “Yes, I’m going to fight them…” She lowered her head. Even her mane straightened a bit. “But I’m afraid that you may die in process…”

“What?” Button exclaimed. “What are you going to do?”

Pinkie Pie opened one of the drawers and took a katana and a white headband with a red circle and some Neighponese letters on it. She wrapped it around her head and gave katana to Twist. “I should have it with me,” she said. “But maybe you’ll make a better use from it…”

“What do you mean?” Twist asked.

Pinkie leaned closer to her and whispered, “See this old fridge standing in the corner? You need to hide in it and you should be alright. Take Gummy with you.”

Button waved his hoof. “What’s going on here? A fridge? Take Gummy with us? And why do you dress yourself as a manga character?” He sighed. “I know, ‘Pinkie being Pinkie’, but there are some limits.”

Pinkie looked into his eyes. Button shuddered at what he saw in them: blood, knives, kitchen utensils, and some dark places he didn’t know existed. “Do. Not. Question. My. Orders.” she said.

“O-okay…” Button muttered. He looked at the fridge. “Err… Pinkie… I have bad feelings about this…”

“No time for that…” Pinkie replied, shoving him into the fridge. Twist followed him, taking Gummy and Pinkie’s katana with her. Pinkie closed the door.

“What is she going to do?” Twist asked. She was squished between Button, Gummy, and the fridge wall, and Button felt that if she moved, the katana would make him a gelding.

“Umm… This fridge is lead-lined, huh?” Button gulped. “Do you remember ‘Daring Do and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’?”

“I read it, but I’m still in denial,” Twist replied. “You don’t mean that she…” Twist stared into Button’s eyes. "Fuck…”

“Exactly. Doesn’t she know that it’s completely unrealistic?” Button asked. “Geez, if we survive, I’m gonna go to A.K. Yearling, fall on my knees and apologise for all the things I said after reading that book…”

“Yeah, because jumping out of a burning airship with nothing but a raft was more realistic…” Twist muttered. “Also, she’d broken her wing just before that… She always breaks one of them when the plot demands…”

“For Luna’s sake, Twist, we’re about to die and you’re gonna discuss the plot holes?” Button asked. He produced condoms from his saddlebags. “Want some?”

“What?” Twist exclaimed. “I’m about to die, but I’m not desperate…” She looked at Button and saw that he put a condom into his mouth and started to chew it. “Oh, I forgot…”

“What?” Button asked.

“You really need to talk to your mother about those, or you’ll accidentally pass your genes further…” Twist said with a sigh.

“I don’t think so,” Button replied. “We’re gonna die, remember?” He chewed the condom. “Hmm… strawberry!”

Twist facehoofed. “If my soul is gonna be forever connected with yours and that toothless lizard’s, I’m gonna kick ass of some deity… If there’s any…”

“Look on the bright side,” Button said. “You’ll never be alone…”

Twist only groaned.

Pinkie Pie looked at the fridge and sighed. The zombies were already devouring Mrs. Cake’s body. Pinkie sense was telling her that some of them found the blender. Too bad it didn’t tell her what was inside.

The zombies start to bang against the door of her room. Pinkie calmly trotted to one of her cupboards, opened it and took a small box made of concrete.

Five years before, Pinkie Pie created a cupcake to end all the cupcakes. It was large, incredibly tasty, and incredibly sweet. It couldn’t even rot – the amount of sugar inside would kill any microorganism stupid enough to try to eat it.

There was a reason why Pinkie destroyed all her notes and put the cupcake in that concrete box. But now, the reason was gone. The ponykind was in a much bigger danger that her cupcake could ever cause. Now it was time to put it into a good use.

She opened the box and looked at the cupcake. For a moment she had a feeling that it looked back at her. The zombies were banging against the door. The cupcake waited.

Pinkie Pie thought of the ponies in the fridge. They had to be saved. Only they could restore the balance. She had to stop hesitating.

With a shaky hoof, Pinkie picked up the cupcake. She looked at it, its frosting as fresh as it was five years ago. Pinkie gulped, exhaled , and put the cupcake in her mouth.

At first, she didn’t feel anything. Then, another sound joined the cacophony made by zombies behind the door. A rustle of blood flowing in her veins. Trembling of her muscles. The loud hissing of her pancreas going into overdrive.

Pinkie’s eyes started to glow. She opened her mouth to scream.

Then everything disappeared in an explosion of white light.

Author's Notes:

Baby Unicorn Zombie: less HP, increased mobility, small frame, special ability: telefragging.