"Van-a-who now?"

"Vanoss! He's muh frieeeend, man!"

Applejack raised a brow in confusion, turning her gaze to Delirious, "That pony who flew into the sky just now? That's yer friend-"

"Hell yeah!" Delirious suddenly shouted, clopping his hooves together as he looked to the sky, his tail lightly flicking the dirt below him as he fell to his haunches in the sun, "that's one-a my best friends in the whole world!"

Applejack gave a short laugh, an awkward look on her face as she watched the stallion stare expectantly into the heavens. Raising a single brow even further up, the mare asked hesitantly, "Is that so now, Sugarcube-"

"Yeah, I just fuckin' said it, bitch. Pay attention," Delirious suddenly replied, turning his head and glaring at the orange mare. Gaining no response from the now dumbfounded Applejack at his sudden mood swing, he looked back to the white clouds hanging in the sky above him. He sat there yet again, his position on the floor akin to one of a dog waiting obediently for its owner. The wagging of Delirious' black tail only furthered Applejack's observation. She sighed heavily and turned tail to leave, the ponies who had watched the performer already having left once he flew into the sky.

Rainbow Dash suddenly appeared next to Applejack, folding her wings with a look of absolute glee in her face, "That was so awesome! Did you know how far he flew?!"

Her friend stopped, Rainbow stopping as well, "No, Ah didn't, Rainbow. Ah'm willin' ta bet you did, then?"

Rainbow blew a raspberry, waving a hoof in spite, "Hay no. I don't wanna waste the breath going up there to see. He's an Earth pony, just like you," she said with a prod of her friend, "he can help himself. He doesn't need me."

Applejack blinked twice in rapid succession, dumbfounded, "Sugarcube? Ya ever wonder that maybe he prob'ly hurt himself?"

Rainbow raised a hoof to reply, but was cut off by Applejack, "Now, Ah know Ah can handle somethin' like that, but Ah'm not so sure about him-"

"He's fine, he's fine."

"Rainbow-"

"AJ! Get off my flank! It's not like he's dead! Delirious seems to expect him to be alive, maybe we should too!" Rainbow interrupted, falling to her haunches and crossing her forelegs with a stern look on her face. Frowning, she stared at her friend, who attempted to turn away. Moving her head closer, her friend tried to even further her distance, only to fail as the farmpony gave a long sigh, turning back to her friend with a look of glumness.

"Fine. But if we hafta take another pony to the hospital, Ah'm tyin' you up and hangin' ya from the side of the barn."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

The two ponies glared at each other in silence, before they gave short nods, Applejack giving a blunt, "Ah swear ta Faust Rainbow-"

"Holy shit! Here he comes!"

The two mares suddenly turned their heads toward the outburst, finding a gleeful Delirious standing up on his tip-hooves. The white mask looked at them, the stallion's eyes wide and a smile obvious in his calling, "Guys, Vanoss is coming!"

"Whuh..?"

The two mares looked to where Delirious was pointing, and found a small hole in the cloud layer, the figure of something quickly falling toward the ground. Rainbow's mouth was wide open in confusion, while Applejack could only raise a brow as the duo watched from afar, Delirious being the only one showing any strong emotion as he stood in a pose reminiscent of a tiger ready to pounce, his tail wagging at a mile a minute in anticipation. His friend was coming, and he was sure as hell glad to have someone to talk to without them mentioning friendship every second.

As the object in the sky grew closer and closer, Delirious had to back up a ways into the middle of the street, his friend's trajectory leading him there. His glee never changing, Delirious waited eagerly for the Earth pony to fall to Earth. The object grew closer, and closer, and closer.

The object suddenly landed on the floor, a loud click presenting it.

Delirious stared at it unblinking, for the object was not his friend.

A small, rectangular box met his blue eyes, a wad of black tape wrapped around its body. A red timer glowed onto his mask, almost blinding him as it blinked rapidly.

Delirious mimicked it, blinking as well in time with the sticky bomb currently lying on the ground in front of him.

His eyes widened in realization.

"VANOSS YOU FUCKING-"

BOOM!

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were suddenly thrown to the floor, a large red and orange flower blossoming in Delirious' wake. They hit the dirt hard, knocking the wind out of them and causing them to breathe heavily in response. Shaking their heads, they shakily rose to their hooves and looked for Delirious.

His form lay still a few yards away from a large black crater in the grass, the hole smoking from the explosion.

"Delirious!" Applejack yelled, eyes wide with horror. The mare sprinted toward the pegasus, Rainbow following close behind.

The orange mare stopped as she stood over Delirious, a single hoof rising to her mouth in shock and tears pricking at her green eyes.

A red pool was beginning to form below Delirious' head, the white mask lying face-first in the stained grass. The stallion lay in a crumpled pose, as if he was caught in a violent hurricane and was thrown for miles. His wings stood crooked against his body, the feathers burnt to the tips, a crisp black.

"AJ...."

Rainbow slowly trotted up to her friend, a look of worry in her eyes. Applejack gave no response, only able to choke out a whimper as she watched the form of Delirious, as still as a statue.

Dead.

"Delirious...."

"Holy shit! Fuck you, Delirious!"

Rainbow turned her head, a glare on her face and a frown on her lips. A red Earth pony was rising from the ground, a sly smile on his features. Swiping dust off his forelegs, he subconsciously reached toward his belly, an object in hoof.

As the appendage returned to its previous position, empty, the stallion turned his head toward Rainbow with a wide grin on his face. Trotting toward her, he laughed loudly, "Thinking he could fool me..."

"What the buck is wrong with you?!"

The stallion raised a brow, his shades hiding his eyes as he frowned slightly.

"Hey man, Delirious had it coming-"

"Buck you!" Rainbow shouted, a hoof raised in the stallion direction as she glared in anger, "why would you do that?!"

The stallion fell to his haunches, raising his forelegs in mock surrender. Opening his mouth to defend himself, he was interrupted by Rainbow, who continued to yell at him furiously, "You just killed him! He was your friend, and you just murdered him!"

The stallion gave a soft glare, opening his mouth yet again to retaliate.

Another voice cut him off. But this one was not from Rainbow, whose eyebrow flew up in response.

"Fuck you Vanoss!"

The stallion turned his head and suddenly jumped back, a glistening knife stabbing into the empty air where he had previously stood. Quickly popping his neck, he sidestepped an angry Delirious, who was yelling in utter rage.

"Stop movin' you fuckin' bitch!"

The red Earth pony ducked underneath a horizontal swipe from Delirious, who looked down and found a golf club quickly launching itself into his chin. The pegasus flew a few feet into the air from the weapon's blow, Delirious falling to the floor in a crumpled mess. Scrambling to get up, he rolled over just in time to avoid the golf club's might, the head stuffing itself cleanly into the dirt with a low fft. Delirious reached toward his belly, brandishing a knife as his friend smiled evilly at him. He thrust his right hoof into the air above him, attempting to stab his friend in his stomach.

The Earth pony simply lifted his golf club slightly out of the dirt, stuck out his tongue, and yelled, "Fore!"

The club flew into Delirious' head, causing the pegasus to reach for the appendage with a cry of pain and an incredibly loud, "You mother fucker!"

His friend laughed in response, rising onto his hindlegs and holding the golf club to the sky. Delirious squinted, staring toward the sun and the pony currently standing over him. His eyes shrunk to pinpricks, and Delirious raised his forelegs over his face and screamed, "Nooo! Don't you fuckin' do it!"

The club flew down.

"FUCK YOU VANOSS."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash watched from afar, neither un-moving, their mouths wide open in a mixture of shock and horror. The body of Delirious that previously sat from the explosion was now completely gone, and as they looked to his dead body now, it too was beginning to blink, before it disappeared altogether. Looking at each other, both mares realized the other's like thoughts. Both mares wished to defend their friend from the red maniac, but somehow found themselves unable to move from their positions. Even so much as trying to move a hoof in the duo's direction was impossible.

"Delirious, just give up. It's just getting harder to watch now."

"You're a bitch, Vanoss."

The Earth pony swung his golf club around like a batter swinging at a baseball, striking Delirious in the right side of his head. With an, "Ah SHIT!" of agony, Delirious fell to the ground for the third time, clutching his head with a blue hoof. Looking back up, he shook his head violently as Vanoss stood over him on his haunches, patting the golf club's head with a free hoof.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Don't fuckin' kill me!"

"Just like old times Delirious," Vanoss said with a smirk, reaching toward his crotch with his weapon in hoof, the appendage coming back without it. Vanoss extended a hoof toward his friend, who raised a brow in suspicion but accepted the offering, reaching for the hoof with his own, rising from the ground with the help of his friend. Standing back on his four hooves, Delirious glanced at his friend, then swiped a hoof over his left foreleg, brushing the dust off himself after being on the ground so much.

Delirious looked back at Vanoss, and began to speak.

"Thanks for not killing me Van-"

A hoof smacked him in the face, knocking him back down to the cold ground, spread-eagle. Rubbing at his stinging cheek with a hoof, he whimpered an almost unnoticeable, "Fuck man..."

Vanoss gave a loud laugh, flailing his striking hoof as if he had a hangnail, "Damn Delirious, you almost broke my fucking hand."

Delirious rose to all fours again, glaring at Vanoss as he replied, "Fuck you!"

Vanoss could only give another hearty laugh in return, before he suddenly looked to his left, finding a crowd of ponies looking at the two with looks of shock, eyes wide and mouths gaping open. Most notable were the five mares glancing at them oddly, one in particular fainting into the claws of a small purple dragon, who grit his teeth under the added weight. A purple one gave a hurt look, as if seeing the two fighting broke her heart. A yellow one with wings hid behind her pink mane, sounds of stifled sobbing being the only noise from the crowd. The blue and orange mares in the front gave the same open-mouthed, wide-eyed faces as the rest of the crowd of ponies.

Delirious growled like a savage animal, throwing an accusing hoof toward the ponies and shouting, "The fuck are y'all lookin' at?!"

The ponies gave a loud, collective gasp, a select few quickly placing hooves over the ears of some fillies.

Vanoss raised a brow in annoyance, turning toward Delirious with a look of disgust, "Shut the hell up Delirious."

"Fuck you," Delirious replied, falling to his haunches and crossing his forelegs. The white mask frowned deeply, then turned to peer at Vanoss, who coughed into a free hoof, then rested the appendage and cleared his throat audibly. Waving toward the crowd, he announced, "Sorry about Delirious, everyone, he's just a little excited to see me...."

"Yeah, sure," Delirious shouted, then added under his breath, "asshole."

Vanoss patted the head of his friend softly, the blue stallion bobbing up and down with each motion as he smilingly reassured, "Anytime, friend."

The ponies continued to stare at the two, before they slowly began to step back. Vanoss, confused, gave a small frown, wondering about the crowd's sudden retreat. His eyes widened behind his shades, then quickly shrank to mere slits as he slowly glared down at his friend.

Delirious stared back up at him like a dog, a familiar round object grasped in his mask's mouth holes.

"Hey Vanoss."

"You son of a bitch."

The sound of a pin dropping emanated from the ground.

Delirious delivered one final chuckle, then finished their lives with a chill-wrenching insult.

"Fuck you."