Author's Notes:

Ah fuck it. Here you go.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!"

"Take a left, take a left!"

Doing so, the quintet began sprinting down a new pathway, one plagued with various specialty shops that told them to buy the goods in the brick buildings that blocked the air from their west. Ignoring the Half Brown Delictacon, passing by the Swatter Shop, and all but hurrying away from the Jolly Roger Grocery Store, Lui, Nogla, Wildcat, Vanoss, and Delirious increased their speed, teeth bore so tightly they suspected they had witnessed the greatest burn of the century. Pushing past a pair of ponies who had emerged from one of the shops, Lui—who led the group in their tactical retreat—yelled, "How close are they?!"

The task of looking behind them was left to Delirious, and so, sucking on his teeth, he stole a glance past his rear and almost shit on the floor. He swung his neck around so fast he thought he'd break it, shouting, "Pretty fuckin' close!"

Lui, not believing him, turned as well.

He increased his speed, now believing him, prompting the others to accelerate as well. From behind came a hellish beeping noise, which grew louder and louder until it stopped in a manner of two seconds. The two in the back, Delirious and Vanoss, ducked and sidestepped to the right, narrowly avoiding a large chunk of red brick that had dislodged from the roof of the building next to them. Nogla, turning his head to the east, pointed and shouted just in time for Wildcat to throw his neck back, avoiding a pair of streetlamps that instantly shattered the window into a confection shop and fell inside to rest there. As the tinkling of glass met their ears, they looked ahead as Lui jabbed a hoof to his left.

"Shit, another left!"

Fleeing down a new corridor, they began to look at one another with looks of indecisiveness.

"Whaddoo we do?!" Nogla wailed, holding onto his paper bag before it could fly off.

Rushing past an open white picket gate, they burst out into the sunlight and immediately took a right, hoping that the amount of ponies currently escaping the streets would be incentive enough for the Wardens to stop going fucking nuts. Instantly proven wrong by a fire hydrant that rolled into their way, they stumbled over it and hurried off, their speed now halved from their near-trip to the ground. With the closest buildings now blocking off their east, they stole a glance to look inside one for anything they could use to their advantage. Seeing nothing but their reflections in the glass, they continued on their way at a faster rate once a pair of ponies suddenly appeared in the window.

Delirious, looking up, pushed Vanoss to his right as he skipped to his left. Thanking him, Vanoss looked back at the patio that had landed between them and found the pair of Wardens suddenly appearing on top of it, the blue fire in their eyes now in violent wisps reminiscent of Tesla coils. Giving a silent Eep!, he turned tail and almost missed his friends taking a right into an alleyway. Once again together in a train formation, with Vanoss as the caboose, they all looked ahead and felt as if the Wardens would simply crush them with the claustrophobic brick walls keeping them on their path. Entering a large area that opened up on their left to the back doors of a pair of stores, the Wardens instead teleported directly in their path at the end of the alley.

Shaking his head as they screeched to a halt, Lui caught something in his sights and howled, "There! Left!"

Looking that way, they found nothing but a long section of brick and doors.

"There's just a fuckin' wall there, genius!" Wildcat cried, stomping his hooves on the grass.

"No!" Lui said, pointing, "There's a window in the middle there, see?!"

Their gazes drew to the spot. Indeed, a rectangular black window showed themselves staring at it stupidly. Hearing the sounds of approaching thunder, they watched as Lui brought out his Advanced Rifle and fiddled with its bolt. Pulling it back, he brought the scope up to his eyes, waited, and promptly grabbed hold of the front end, shouting a war cry as he flung the rifle into the window. Its exterior blown to Oblivion, the window now presented them a way out. Scrambling through, they found themselves behind the counter of what appeared to be a closed butchery.

Vaulting over the granite countertop, Wildcat spat, "Good job you fuckin' idiot," just as the wall behind them exploded with the force of a thousand sledgehammers. Now at a full sprint, the robbers stumbled to the exit, ignoring the Wardens, who magicked their barbed spears up from next to them. Crouching down, they jerked their necks forward and watched as their spears stabbed through the air, only to lodge themselves in the wooden front door of the establishment.

Nogla, who had ceased their spears from reaching him and his friends, quickly hopped away as what he had thereby avoided sliced through the door, almost nicking his rear end. Hearing a new set of commands from their leading young colt, he spammed an almost inaudible, "Ah fuck fuck fuck fuck," as the Wardens burst through the door, which shattered upon hitting the adjacent sign that invited people to eat the business' meat products.

Scurrying toward a lone tree, surrounded by a short rock wall, in the center of the road, the Wardens began sprinting after them, their horns lighting up to stop them in their tracks. Looking back at them, Delirious turned around to find a large blue blur destroy the middle of the large white oak in front of him. As it sagged from the new vertical slice going right down its middle, a blue, masked Pegasus hopped through with gusto, chasing after his friends as they crossed the street.

Lui, still leading, nodded to something in front of him, shouting to his followers, "Take a right behind the building ahead of us!"

Delirious, sprinting beside Vanoss, asked, "What?! Why?! Do you even know where the hell you're going?!"

"Just shut up and trust me, alright?!"

Delirious let out a breath, but relented. Pursuing the others, he took a swift right and found himself in a circular section of an alleyway, almost identical to the previous area that housed their mishap with the window from earlier. With a rectangular catwalk of construction ramps encompassing his right, he found his gaze drawing left and felt his jaw drop. Sitting in the shade were three large vehicles, all of which Delirious had seen before. Watching as his friends' movements slowed, he realized that they were having the same reactions.

Taking up its own space on the left, sitting loud and proud, was a bright yellow and green bus.

Wildcat's face lit up as he threw his hooves into the air. "Look man, I'm all up for the Banana Bus and shit, but this thing's slow as fuck, dude!"

"No problem!" Lui replied, pulling out a can of nitrous for all to see.

Next to it sat a smaller, bright red car that the young colt immediately hurried over to. His Comet, sporting a pretty questionable coat of mud and dirt, suddenly came to life, its blue headlights spurring up in syncopation with the sports car's engine. Sitting behind Lui's comet, Delirious realized, was a vehicle quite familiar to him. He gave a snort and a grin. His dark blue Zentorno, the one he recognized he had used during their horn concert, shimmered at him beautifully. His eyes grew narrow.

There weren't enough for all of them.

"There's only three cars here!" He shouted at Lui. The colt, fiddling with his keys inside his car, leaned his head out and replied.

"Yeah, some of you 're gonna have ta buddy up! Nogla!" The Unicorn looked at him. "You're with me!"

Wildcat, stepping into the critically acclaimed Banana Bus, craned his neck and waved a hoof over to himself, "Evan! C'mon! You're sitting in the back though, fucker!"

"Wow, way ta be racist, Wildcat," Vanoss spat, disgusted.

Stepping into the Bus, Wildcat took his place in the driver's seat and slid the window to his left open to reply, "Shut the fuck up an' get in!" Turning his attention to the dash, he brought out a pair of keys and slid it into the ignition. Turning them, he held them there as the engine began to sputter. "Badoop-a-doop, Banana–"

The front of the bus spewed black smoke.

"FUCK."

The yell having caught his attention, Lui poked his head out in an instant and looked Wildcat's way. "What's wrong?!"

"Fuckin' thing won't start!" Running out the side door, he practically flung himself in front of the bus and opened up its hood. Sucking on his teeth at the sight, Wildcat threw his hooves onto the metal exterior of his favorite vehicle and turned his head to his right. "Alright, fuck! Guys, I can't fuckin' leave if this thing isn't fuckin' running! I'm gonna have ta fix it, because there's no goddamn way I'm sitting next ta Nogla's ass."

Delirious pointed a hoof at his chest.

"You're just fuckin' retarded Delirious I wouldn't wanna sit next to you with your driving."

Vanoss, standing next to Wildcat, crossed his arms, "Well what the hell do you want us ta do?!"

About-facing, he screamed, "Fuckin' cover my ass while I fix it!"

Now with a goal in mind, the rest of the group turned to face the way they had come in to the alleyway, not noticing the male Warden on the roof above them until he had stomped his hooves in fury, sending concrete flying to the ground below. Backing up at the sight of him, they watched as the Warden's horn began bursting with orange energy, rearing up on his hindlegs. Vanoss, standing in front of Lui's Comet, ducked and looked to his right with a beckoning hoof. "Delirious! Baseball bat!"

Catching the weapon, he readied his swing and looked up, calling, "Ultimate Homerun!" and knocking the beam of magic right back at its caster, who flinched and backpedaled out of sight as the shingles in front of him exploded in his face.

Nogla, looking around, asked, "Where's the other one?" Missing the teleportation light behind him, he suddenly found his legs being swept from underneath him by a javelin. Falling onto the ground with a crunch, he rolled to stare up into his attacker's eyes and found the bright blue eyeslits of the female Warden. Its spear turned about so that its sharp end faced him. The Warden's killing blow was spoiled by a sudden rocket to its body, sending it grinding through the dirt a few feet away, its armored hooves creating two trails of destroyed grass in its wake.

Delirious, pausing to reload, looked for the male Warden and immediately found it descending the construction scaffolding in a furious fashion. Pointing a hoof, he opened his mouth to shout out its location, finding this attempt null and void as Lui simply walked up from his right, Minigun in both hooves. Still trotting forward, the crowd control weapon began spinning, sending a shower of bullets into the catwalk that ripped and tore away the sheets covering it. Only saved by his armor, which deflected the bullets off it like water droplets on a rooftop, the Warden vaulted over the side and dropped to the ground, creating a small crater.

Its spear appearing from its side and spinning around, the Warden sent it into the group of ponies, who dove out of the way. The spear, having missed its target, shattered into a window in the Banana Bus' left side. Wildcat, instantly tutting loudly, stepped away from his work on its engine and brought out his RPG, firing into the scaffolding the male Warden had come down on. The rocket connected with one of the corner beams and promptly sent it tumbling down onto the two Wardens, who had paired up next to each other to better their intimidation factor.

Now trapped underneath the metallic structure and covered in a thick cloud of dust, the two heavily armored Celestial Wardens let their heads fall to the floor. Wildcat shut the Banana Bus' hood closed, then brought a hoof up to the side of his mouth and whooped, "Alright guys, get your asses into the cars!"

Running into their respective vehicles, they started up their engines, save for Delirious, who leaned his head out the side of his window and shouted, "Wait! Where the hell're we meetin' up?!"

Shutting his driver side door with a bang, Lui replied, "Where you got your bounty! We'll meet up there!"

With that, the Banana Bus—with Vanoss and Wildcat inside—and the Comet—with Lui and Nogla inside—sped out of the alleyway, kicking up dirt and grass on their way. As the sounds of their engines began fading away, Delirious was left alone, his engine having a bit of trouble starting. Pushing on his gas pedal and working his ignition, he heard the telltale sounds of the Wardens rising to their hooves. "C'mon you motherfucker... c'mon!"

The Zentorno spurred to life, belting smoke out of its exhaust. Looking to his left, he found the two Wardens now fully up, shaking their heads vigorously. Throwing his gear shifter around, he finally caught it one Drive and stepped his hoof on the gas pedal. His car fishtailing out of its previous position, he careened out of the alleyway and caught a split second of air, turning right and beginning to head down the grass field that met his sights. Looking up at his rear view mirror as his car bumped up and down along the ground, he found that he was currently heading South East.

His super car sped like a blur past rows of trees that bore a familiarity to him. Blowing past a sign that he couldn't read on his side, he didn't have time to look back and examine it.

Falling to the ground, the now broken pieces welcomed all of the heavens to Sweet Apple Acres, home of the best cider their side of Equestria.