This is not part of the story. Past this point in the story, things get very, very awful. And I don't mean in an emotional sense, or, like, "in the story" sense. I mean quality wise. Things take a very different step from here on out and, well, if you wanna know the results, there's a reason I stopped writing this story for good after being stressed out over it and losing readers left and right. Achtung, fraulein.

"What'cha readin' there, Nogla?"

Casting her green eyes down to the kitchen table, Applejack cocked an eyebrow and leaned a hoof on the wooden furniture with a cheeky grin. Looking the page up, she turned to Nogla and waited for his response. The Unicorn droned a simple, "Uuuuh," as he stared intently at his current chapter, a hoof tracing simple horizontal lines along it before he nonchalantly turned the page and spoke, "it's uh, spells."

Ignoring the loud sounds of Lui smacking his lips on his cereal across from him, Nogla fixed his gaze on a yet unread section and hummed absent-mindedly. Applejack leaned forward, breathing past his neck with a chuckle as she spoke, "Levitation?"

Nogla stuttered, "U-uh, yeah. Yeah."

"Y'know, Ah dunno much about magic," Applejack started, pointing a hoof to her chest, "seein' as how Ah'm an Earth Pony an' all, but ain't levitation foals' kinda stuff? Like, the first spell Unicorns usually learn?"

Lui cleared his throat. Nogla narrowed his eyes at him, setting the book down and looking at the mare next to him, "Yeah, I was never really good with spells to be honest. He paused. "Just never really had the time to study on them." He ignored yet another one of Lui's short coughs. He looked up at Applejack, furrowing his brow in an attempt to display an obviously struck nerve.

The mare’s smile dropped as it worked, but she pried. Opening her mouth, she asked, "Why's that–" and found herself cut off by a shout from outside the house.

"Applejack! Ah need some help!"

Applejack immediately dropped what she was doing, turning around swiftly with her eyes dwarfing her frying pan. "Apple Bloom?! Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine sis!"

The cowpony sighed thankfully, finding an odd time to roll her eyes with a small chuckle. Excusing herself, she walked out of the kitchen after she placed her pan in the sink, groaning something about some placentas that needed watering. As she exited, the pig sitting on the floor by the refrigerator slowly perked his head up, and once the front door shut with a hefty bang, he flew to his hooves and glared at Nogla.

Bringing up a pink hoof, he tapped his wrist and shook his head, "We don't have all fuckin' day for you ta learn that spell, dumbass! Hurry the fuck up!" Walking the Irishman's way, he listened half-intently to his understandable excuse.

"Look, most of yesterday was spent pasting this focking page into the first chapter so I wouldn't be switching through like hundreds of fuckin' pages when she asked me about 'em. I'll have you know I fuckin' suck at glue, that shit took like twenty minutes."

Wildcat's piggy face was hidden under a new pink visitor. Running it down his face, Wildcat rested it on his nose to lightly squish it, not even looking to his left as he spoke in a condescending tone, "Lui what fuckin' time is it I don't wanna listen to this dumbass say another goddamn word…"

Lui hummed squeakily, then noticed this and coughed violently into a hoof. His voice coming out more masculine, he trotted a few steps forward and craned his neck to look to Wildcat's adjacent right, the large grandfather clock easily dwarfing three of the pig's kind. Pointing a hoof, he mumbled for a second or two and answered, "Five before two."

Wildcat snapped a hoof, closing Nogla's spellbook with a throw of his hoof. Walking out of the kitchen, he called, "It's good enough, c'mon. We're going now."

"Now?" Lui asked, tilting his head from in front of the garbage can. A box of Cheerios was grasped in his hoof, which he shook gently as the silence kicked in for a brief second. Breaking it, Wildcat nodded vigorously, a hoof on the side of the doorframe.

"Yeah, c'mon."

As the two ponies joined him, Wildcat took a second to turn to his right, finding a pair of stallions lazily sitting in a pair of recliners, one eating from a ripe banana and the other mumbling about a cheeseburger as the antics on the TV continued to play. Knocking on the wood floor like a one-hit-wonder Two Second tap dancer, he jerked his head to the front door and said, "Get up you two. We're gonna head out now."

Vanoss got up with just a simple, "Oh," of realization. It was Delirious who questioned their motives as they exited the farmhouse. Standing in the back of their unintentional train line, he barely avoided the hard wooden smack of the door on the way out when he asked them.

"Wait, what are we doin'?"

Wildcat stopped. Nogla followed suit. Lui copied Nogla. Vanoss stepped back. Delirious halted.

The first four exchanged a collection of looks, ones showcasing genuine confusion and later annoyance. Beginning to groan at one another, a selection of words escaped Wildcat's mouth. "Okay who the fuck didn't tell him?" The stallions frowned heavily, then three turned to one with glaring brows. Vanoss mimicked their nonverbal attack.

Vanoss rolled his eyes from underneath his owl mask, then begrudgingly turned his head to face the blue Pegasus. Lui slowly crept forward, a hoof barely an inch above Vanoss' shoulder in an attempt to warn him. This warning then became audible, "Vanoss, you might not wanna–"

"Hey guys!"

Lui backpedaled. Under his breath, he voiced, "Probably for the best…"

The five in turn spun on their heels, now giving the two mares next to them their full attention. Applejack, her hat slightly off-center, gave a nice smile as she wiped her forelegs clean of mud.

"What'd you do back there, Bloom?" Wildcat, Nogla, Lui, and Vanoss turned to their left, eyebrows raised to the air as Delirious stepped forward with a chortle. Fucking up the young mare's mane, he added, "You make Applejack crawl through the bottom of the house or somethin'?"

Applejack nudged Apple Bloom playfully, "Well Ah didn't exactly crawl." Apple Bloom giggled. "Winona thought she saw somethin' under the staircase so Ah had ta get down there and get her out before she could find our Indian Burial Ground."

Bloom coughed into a hoof.

"And Apple Bloom wanted ta give you somethin' since you're headin' out for the day."

Delirious perked up, now looking down at the filly with a curious look. A hoof went to the back of her neck, and, pulling it into his sights, presented him a piece of red fabric. Delirious blinked. The red fabric unfolded like a newfound national flag, displaying his Crusaders cape. The Pegasus gave an, "Oh," of realization like his Canadian friend behind him. Grabbing his cape, he took a second to wrap it around his neck.

"Ah just thought, 'hey, if you're headin' out with yer friends today, maybe you could get your Cutie Mark'! Y'all sure as hay might not get it hangin' out with some fillies—"

"Nogla sure could get somethin' hanging out with little girls," Wildcat quickly whispered.

"—but with your friends? Definitely!"

Finally tying the front end in a knot, he turned to the side, struck a pose, and watched as the cape fluttered in his movement-induced breeze. Thinking inwardly that he could join the Royal Guard at this rate, he looked at Applejack and asked, "How's it look?"

Applejack hummed. "You look stupid."

Apple Bloom shot her older sister a glare.

Delirious about-faced instantly. "You look stupid."

He suddenly found himself being pushed away through the grass. Stealing a glance down revealed that Apple Bloom was pushing him away from the farm and Applejack as well. "Alright alriiight. Get the hay outta here before you keep arguin'." Rolling her eyes as Delirious trotted away, she leaned to her left and raised her right foreleg, waving happily. "Ah'll see ya later, Delirious! Don't lemme forget ta show you what we're doin' tomorrow!"

Delirious turned, three of his other friends walking beside him following the motion. Applejack waved as well, then placed a hoof at the side of her mouth and called, "Y'all come back 'fore dinner, alright?! Ah'll make sure ta whip up some cider soup!"

A trio of, "Yeah, we will," sounded out. As the five began to walk into town, nudging began to take place among the team, one after the other and back to the one again. The sun no longer sat in a straight line in the sky above their heads, instead now on its descent down to make way for its lunar cousin. To everyone's surprise, Delirious began to join in as well.

"If you guys would stop—fuck—screwin' around, we could hurry the hell up and get to Rarity's house before four."

Lui giggled, "'Before four'..."

Vanoss lifted a hoof his way. Lui stopped his amusement. The Canadian continued, "We're gonna have ta hurry up once we get into town. People are gonna start taking notice to us, and we don't want any of them trailing us."

"Okay okay okay..."

The group stopped as Delirious walked forward through the line. A hoof in the air, he tilted his head and stared ahead to face Vanoss, who blinked at him silently. "Okay... you still haven't told me yet." He stamped his hoof on the ground lightly. "What're we doin'?"

Oh shit. Wildcat knew what was coming next. Looking around the roadside area they were in, he passed over the surrounding white fence, skipped the sewer grate sticking out of the trench to his right, and finally spotted a nice looking tree with nice shade and a pretty sizable brush underneath it across the path. Perfect. Trotting to it, he stepped off the dirt road and entered a grassy field, his hooves stomping out pretty dandelions and daffodils. His blank white helmet rattling around his head and mask, he ignored the terrifying sounds of thousands of bees whistling away at their pollinated flowers as he reached the tree's safety. Stopping, he took a second as he looked down, then pranced around in place to create a small area for him to begin his business in. Content, he looked toward the oak tree's trunk and stretched out his right hindleg.

As he heard the last few drops hit the grass, he gave a deep sigh and placed his offending hindleg back into its normal position. Intent on returning to his friends, he turned around and instantly found a green blur flying at his face. As Nogla and Wildcat tumbled into the oak and onto the floor with a collection of yells, the tree decided that it was the perfect time to let loose a spare apple from its branches. Scrambling his head out from underneath Nogla's body, Wildcat chuckled, asking him, "Wow, were you that excited to see my piggy dick?"

"Shut the fuck up," Nogla said, rubbing his head, only for the apple to fall onto the spot he was currently rubbing at. Issuing a short, "Ow," he grit his teeth and looked back at the main road, watching as Delirious glared sharp daggers at the remaining two ponies in front of him, crouched to the ground as if he were ready to initiate combat. He leaned forward.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! That's your fucking plan?! Are you fucking STUPID?!"

"Delirious, calm the fuck down man–"

"Fuck you."

Lui stepped forward, waving his forelegs around as he reassured him, "No no no it's alright it's alright!" Delirious, still breathing heavily, didn't respond. Lui, giving a nervous grin, threw his two hooves to the pair of individuals currently, groggily, walking back toward them. "Nogla has a spell!"

Twin funnels of smoke wafted out of Delirious' nose. He growled, "What kind of spell?"

The young colt turned, "Nogla, tell him!"

Nogla, adjusting his paper bag, crawled through the fence marking the border of the dirt road. Wildcat followed his example.

"It's uh," He tripped on air, "it's a disguising spell."

Delirious turned his head swiftly, reminding Lui of a vulture spying its next pray. His pupils were shrunk, his head bobbing up and down as he apparently needed more air than usual. "Disguising spell?"

"Yeah," Nogla said, officially rejoining the group, "apparently it c'n change your appearance to whatever th' hell I want it to be."

Delirious' angered breathing began to space out. "Can it change my voice too?"

"If I wasn't reading it wrong," Nogla replied, suddenly pulling the spell book out, "it should, yeah."

The blue Pegasus blinked, taking in a deep gulp of air as he cast his gaze downward to take in each and every pebble embedded in the dirt by his hooves. "I–I..."

"Look, Delirious..." The Pegasus looked up to find the source of the voice. It was Vanoss, who was walking up to him slowly. Standing beside him, he stretched a foreleg around Delirious' neck and looked up at the sky, his owl mask almost brushing the side of Delirious' face. Throwing a hoof out, he spoke, "Look man, ever since we came to this town, all we've done is dirty-ass farmwork and work at a shitty fruit stand. We spent about three days just punching trees and digging holes! And some bitch wanted to make you take your mask off!" He turned his head to look at his friend, then pressed a hoof to his chest, "Sure, we've had a buncha fights here and there, but there hasn't been a lot of explosions and shit, y'know? When was the last time you purposely blew something up, huh? A week ago?"

Delirious searched for an answer, "I think it was uh, um–"

"Delirious, do you wanna have some fuckin' fun for a change, instead of just stayin' cooped up inside in some barn for a whole day?"

The group waited as one for Delirious to make his decision, the sounds of his silence unable to disturb the birds and working Weatherponies above them. Vanoss stayed his position, just in case of sudden violence from his close friend in disagreement. To his half-surprise, Delirious turned to him with a pair of eyes he hadn't ever seen. He croaked, "You promise that no one'll get hurt because of this?"

Vanoss blinked, thankfully under his mask and out of sight.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted Nogla, Lui, and Wildcat now at Delirious' side, with expectant expressions on their faces. Vanoss blinked once more, his sights now on Delirious again. He nodded. "I promise. Don't worry."

Delirious grinned, now bobbing his whole body with his head, "And you're sure that disguise spell will work, right?"

"Sure as shit, Delirious!"

The Pegasus shook his head, laughing, "Fuck it then. Let's do this shit."

"Fuck yeah!" was the uproar from his friends. Atop, Rainbow Dash and Cloud Kicker exchanged looks of confusion, unable to find the source of swearing from the height of their thick white cloud layer. Ignoring it, they shrugged to one another, preparing for the coming storm. HQ had called, and a rainstorm was to be scheduled to make time for Princess Celestia's visit later that day.

Below, the guys continued their trek to the Carousel Boutique, talking amongst themselves in anticipation and legitimate hype. High hoofs went around. Whooping calls were shouted. Laughs were laughed. All of this minor enough to not require a lengthy description. Author's orders. Trotting toward Ponyville, they finally turned to their left and spotted their destination before them. Walking up to the front door, the quintet went through a series of short, abrupt whispers. Finally, the leader was chosen. Standing in the front, Wildcat had to lean up on his tippy-hooves to reach the clanger on the door.

It most certainly wasn't there the day before.

A trio of clangs later, and the door opened to reveal a white Unicorn with a pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose. Regarding them for a second or two, she gave a small sigh and motioned for them to come in. As she scurried away to elsewhere in the Boutique, the guys took a seat by the front door and gazed around the room. Still looking the same as yesterday, they as one grew aware of a presence and turned their heads to gaze across from them.

Lying on the couch, her belly up in the air, sat a grey Earth Pony, quietly reading from what looked to be a magazine about roof tiling. The front told them about a new brand of Skeleton Approved SHIN-gles. The five immediately frowned at the stupid, now apparent pun. Reclining, they barely touched their asses on the floor when Rarity sprang back into the room, a collection of fabric levitating next to her in her magic. Grinning at them, she turned to their new owners and whispered, "You should be surprised! I was able to finish these an hour earlier than I had thought." The mare took a second to sigh happily, "Ahhh, the wonders of caffeine." Giving each piece of clothing to each respective wearer, she began, "Now, make sure you don't hoofwash these. A washing machine will do just fine, so long as you put it on the lightest setting. Don't mix it with your jeans, and make absolutely sure that all paper and items are taken out and put aside before washing it."

She leaned in, looking worriedly to her right as she brought a hoof up to the left side of her face, "I've had too many mishaps with Sweetie Belle. As grown stallions, I wholeheartedly believe you will not make the same mistake." Returning to her prior position, she beamed at the quintet and squealed, "Oh, I do hope you enjoy them! I made sure they will be able to keep you warm for the coming winter as well." Lighting her horn, she shooed the protesting stallions out of the Boutique with a stayed grin, "Now off you go! Have fun, stay safe darlings!"

Now outside, the five stared back at the door, including Nogla, who stood in the back of the group. Wincing and seething as the door slammed into his ass, he rubbed the stricken appendage with a pair of grinding white teeth. Getting up shakily, he watched as his friends took their items from the stack currently sitting atop Vanoss' back. Walking up to it, the Unicorn grabbed his piece and gazed at it longingly. Looking up, he found the others doing the same.

Silence fell upon the group.

Nogla chuckled. "Just a bunch of dumbasses standing around in a circle, huh?"

Delirious snorted.

Vanoss spoke gruffly, "Let's get goin', boys."

"Next in line, please step forward!"

It was going to be a long day for Time Bomb. Stuck in third place in the line, he allowed himself a hefty groan and a sliding hoof down his right cheekbone. Giving off a sigh, he let the appendage fall back to the tiled floor underneath him, eliciting a clop that was instantly drowned out by the sounds of paper, machines, and ponies around him. Parting his lips and staring past the pony standing in front of him, he looked to the ceiling and mouthed a quiet curse to the Gods, scratching his brown, bushy beard. His gaze, now drawing southward, ended back at where he started, and he couldn't help but crack a small, almost nonexistent smile as the attendee called once more for the line to move up.

Now in second place, his mind felt a little more at ease. Lifting up his right foreleg, he reached into his fanny pack and retrieved his To Do list. Looking it over, he skipped past the two marked ones on the top (Get Up and Go Outside) and found the third, which read Go To The Bank. Shrugging to himself, he realized that he was doing them in order and grumbled audibly about the mainstream. Placing the list back into his fanny pack, his eyes lit up as the attendee repeated her line amidst the other repeats from the others of her kind. Time Bomb suddenly wondered how a pony couldn't go nuts doing this job for more than a month.

He clucked his tongue, turning his head to stare past the blue Earth Pony behind him and at the clock. Four-nineteen in the P.M. Time Bomb screwed up his face. It was almost time for dinner. He'd have to put a rain check on his next order of business (Get Some Take-Out) to head home immediately. His Pu'er Tea needed quite a bit of time to make, time which he needed to savor so he could get back to his exploring of the town. Then he could get a latte at Starbucks—hopefully they had those Pumpkin Spice ones out already—and then he could head off to Hay Burger's, which was apparently in the process of being reconstructed after somepony had apparently blown it up. With the large amounts of money the business had made, he had heard, they were employing top level Unicorns who could make wooden beams out of their minds.

Man, although he was satisfied being an Earth Pony, there were a lot of appealing things about being a Unicorn as well.

"Next in line? Can you come forward please?"

He froze, then walked forward, not having realized that he was being called for. Scratching the back of his mane, he looked at the purple mare behind the glass window as she bowed her head to him, staring his way from underneath her eyebrows. A pair of black eyeglasses sat atop her nose as she waited. "Name please?"

"Time Bomb."

The mare raised an eyebrow, but stowed it away as she turned to look through her files. "Interesting name, Mr. Bomb. Let me remind you to never step into an airport."

The two shared a laugh, and Time Bomb watched as the mare fiddled with something by her side. Pointing a hoof, he opened his mouth to ask if she needed any help when a loud noise suddenly threw him from his thoughts. Swiftly turning about—along with everypony else in the bank—he looked at the front entrance to find five individuals marching in with obvious weapons in their hooves. As the murmurs of the townsponies went around, the group stopped.

All was silent.

The one in front, who looked to be a pig dressed in a white T-shirt, raised his gun up and shouted out for all to hear.

"Alright everybody, get the FUCK on the ground!"

It was instant as everypony did so, falling to the tiled floor with enough force to make a loud thud as they hit the ground as one. Flurries of, "Oh my God," went around the downed ponies, most of whom covered their heads with violently shaking hooves. They looked at the group still standing in the doorway, watching all at once as the green one in the back tied the front doors shut with a pair of zip-ties. They made a formation, standing side-by-side.

Nogla looked at Lui. Lui looked at Vanoss. Vanoss looked at Wildcat. Wildcat looked at Delirious. Delirious looked back at Wildcat.

They smiled, now dressed in their Los Santos attire.

Lui clung to his crimson track jacket. Vanoss wore his bright red leather jacket. Nogla's janitor uniform was nice and snug around his body. Wildcat grinned at the purple cat on his T-shirt. Delirious, now wearing a black and gray raccoon mask, looked down at his presently brown body and grinned at his blue sweater. The five looked back at the crowd, finding them having not moved from their previous spots.

Wildcat stepped forward, clearing his throat as he toted his Special Carbine around. "Alright motherfuckers! This is a robbery! You stay the fuck down, and we won't have ta," he laughed, cocking the slide back on his gun, "kill ya, alright?!"

A few ponies whimpered. In the left side of the room, a few began to cry.

"We don't want any fuckin' heroes today, alright? So sit the fuck down and let us do our job, and you'll all be able to go home!"

"Please don't kill us!"

Wildcat turned to the source, finding a bright red Unicorn weakly raising a hoof his way. Rolling his eyes, Wildcat pointed his gun at him with a glare and a frown, "What did I just fuckin' say, dumbass?! You want me to fuckin' kill you right now?!"

The Unicorn whimpered, placing his hooves over his eyes.

Nogla couldn't help but laugh through his paper bag, its rustling echoing across the entire room. "No fockin' heroes now."

Vanoss nodded toward the side of the room, noticing the barrier between the bank tellers and the customers and the locked gate sitting on the far most right side. Wildcat nodded, then motioned for Lui to go at it. The colt nodded, his monkey mask currently providing him support for smoking a cigar, its smoke wafting in front of him like he was in some kind of detective noir movie. Trotting toward it, his Combat MG holstered by his side, he spoke to the stallion slowly rising to his left.

"You get up, and the butcher'll mistake you for his next meat delivery."

The stallion fell back to the floor.

Delirious looked across the crowd.

His heart pulled for a brief second.

And then he smiled.

Opening his mouth, he spoke in a new, grizzled tone, powered by Nogla's Stage 2 Spell.

"If Ah see any o' you fuckers move, Ah'm gonna stick a goddamn bullet right in yer fuckin' skull, y'hear me?"

He didn't note how distinctly Southern it sounded. A frown crossed his lips, unseen by the frightened ponies cowering in his presence. The room was rectangular in shape, with the front door as the bottom right corner. Lines of polyester formed the boundaries of each respective booth, the ponies previously standing in them now sitting on their stomachs with their hooves on their heads, shaking in fear. The floor was a white, almost completely clear tile, the ceiling above housing a few chandeliers that cast a bright glow on the inhabitants below it.

The tellers sat at the top of the rectangle, currently safe behind their black barred wall with only their glass windows to show their presence at their stations. As Vanoss went past them and counted to make sure that all were there and none were trying to sound the alarm, Delirious stepped forward and immediately felt a hoof around his hindleg. He looked back, finding a stallion with a pair of glasses looking up at him pleadingly.

"You're not gonna kill us, are you?"

Delirious stopped.

No.

He wasn't Delirious now.

He grinned at him from underneath the raccoon mask and pulled out his Assault Shotgun, aiming it at the stallion with one hoof.

"Ya touch me again, you'll be the first." The stallion's jaw went slack. "Now get the fuck back on the floor, bitch! Ah'll tell you when y'all can get up!" Rolling his eyes, Delirious stepped forward once more and thankfully found no more resistance. Growling, he walked over to Nogla, who was currently walking through the crowd of fallen horses. "So whuhdoo we do until Lui can get that shit open, Nogla?"

Somehow able to levitate his gun while simultaneously keeping Delirious' spell cast, Nogla answered in between aiming at the assembly, "Make sure they don't try anythin'."

Wildcat spoke up from across the room, his Carbine currently fixated on a pair of mares. "Remember, no Russian!"

Delirious frowned. "Jesus fuckin' Christ."

Walking around the room, the Pegasus found that it was mind-nervingly quiet, the only sounds reaching his ears being the clip clop of his and his friends' hooves on the ground, and Lui's picking at the gate behind him. He paced around the room with Nogla and Wildcat, Vanoss having gone into the restrooms to make sure that nobody else was around. His Shotgun darted to and fro from one target to the next. Each one looked back at him for a split second before retreating behind a stretched foreleg.

He stopped to adjust his sweater, the string having gotten inside the rest of the top. Reaching down to fix it, his hoof touched a fabric not like the rest of the jacket's. He froze, then lifted the red knot in front of his face.

It stared back at him.

He swallowed a lump down his throat, then shoved it behind the rest of his top, pushing the string back out in the process. Content, he cleared his throat and looked around the room once more. A swift motion caught his sights, and he ducked down to a combat position, his Assault Shotgun facing forward, just in time to see Vanoss leave the restrooms. Seeing the firearm aimed at him, Vanoss tilted his head, an obvious eyebrow to the sky.

The sound of a lock dropping rebounded through their eardrums. Turning around, they watched as Lui stepped back from the gate and then swung it open with a hoof. Ignoring its deafening clanging against the rest of the boundary, the young colt stepped in with gusto, turning about to his left and aiming his weapon at the tellers, who clearly did not believe they would be able to get in in the first place. He shouted, "Get the fuck away from those desks! Put your hooves in the air!"

Delirious didn't have time to stop and stare. Wildcat waved him along, telling Vanoss and Nogla to wait outside to keep watch on the other witnesses. Following the pig deeper into the building, Delirious decided to holster his Assault Shotgun on his back, wanting to let his friend take care of anymore ponies standing between them and the vault. Not surprisingly, none were present, and the two were able to make their way through the back offices and down into a dark hallway that ended in a T. Traversing down it, Delirious nudged Wildcat.

"Weapons out. We'll look at opposite sides once we reach the end."

Wildcat nodded, "Good idea, fucknut."

Delirious brought out his Assault Shotgun, and Wildcat brought out his Special Carbine. Arriving at their endpoint, they stopped, looked at one another, and counted to three in the bright corridor. Finishing simultaneously, they jumped out into the open, Delirious aiming into the right and Wildcat into the left. Finding nothing out of particular, Delirious sighed and lowered his gun, hearing a chuckle behind him. Turning around as it grew into a bout of hearty laughter, Delirious asked, "Th' fuck is wrong with..."

He froze.

His eyes grew wide.

"Holy shit, Wildcat... is that..."

Wildcat, busy rubbing his forehooves together, cackled, "That's the fuckin' VAULT Delirious!"

In front of them, at the end of the hallway that Wildcat had scouted, was a large vault door with a large steel rod acting as the release lever. From his position, he noticed that a very crude 111 had been painted on the center in yellow paint. Walking forward, they suddenly realized they were stepping on a dark red carpet and looked down, puzzled. Shrugging silently, they continued on their way at a much faster pace, Wildcat practically slamming into the door to begin opening it.

Delirious meanwhile took a more tactical standpoint, about-facing to aim his gun down the hall in the slightest chance that someone was heading his way. He heard the sounds of Wildcat grunting and wheezing behind him in an effort to crank the lever down. After what seemed like hours, with sweat dripping down his brow and his mane hot and heavy underneath the raccoon mask, Delirious heard Wildcat roar in agony, accompanied by the sound of screeching metal.

He turned, and practically had a double-take.

One more door stood in their way, this one looking like a generic prison cell, guarding their treasure.

Delirious piddled a little bit.

If he could count them up in his head, Delirious swore that there was a little more than one million bits sitting in neat little stacks, covering the entire cell area in their bright, shiny, golden wake. All around it were what appeared to be light gray lock boxes, each secured with top-of-the-line combination locks. Delirious and Wildcat looked at the gate. They weren't there for those lock boxes. Reaching to their crotches, they pulled out enormous duffle bags and trotted up to the bars.

They shared a chuckle.

Wildcat simply needed to push the door open, and they were in. Careful to not disrupt any of the piles, they threw their bags onto a cart already sitting inside the cell and began to scoop up every last bit they could see. No words were spoken as they dropped their takes into their respective kits, both opting to focus on getting them all in there as fast as possible so they could escape as fast as possible. Minutes turned into two, and two turned into ten. Delirious didn't know how long it had actually taken, what with Wildcat breaking the silence ever so often to tell him to, "Hurry the hell up, Delirious," but once they had finished, Delirious involuntarily wiped his brow and sighed heavily into the air. Wanting to catch his breath, he looked to his left when he heard movement and found Wildcat already sprinting off with his bag in his teeth. Cursing, Delirious swung his duffel over his back, retrieved his Shotgun, and sprinted down the hall after his friend.

Turning the corner, he ran down the corridor and found his way back to the main room, where the situation with their hostages hadn't changed in the slightest. Lui, still aiming his Combat MG at the tellers, looked over his shoulder and and gave a smirk. "You guys got it? All of it?"

"You bet your eight fuckin' tits we did."

"Then get to the door, I'll be right there."

Wildcat nodded, then sprinted off toward the front entrance. Delirious, watching him go, saw Vanoss and Nogla backing up toward it in kind, still aiming their weapons at the crowd to ensure that nobody got up to stop them at the last second. Looking back at Lui once more, Delirious licked his lips shakily and trotted to the door. Stopping next to Wildcat, breathing heavily, he bowed his head and heard Vanoss call, "Geez man, did you do a marathon in there or something?"

"Fuck you," Delirious replied, "you wanna try carryin' that shit?"

Vanoss was silent. Delirious was content with his silence, and glimpsed Lui leaving the teller's area with a shout, "Stay there and we won't have any trouble, alright?!"

Joining them, Lui couldn't help but crack a grin as Nogla adjusted the duffel on his back. Wildcat, free of the bag, now walked in front of his friends, his hooves clip clopping against the polished tile. Looking out over the crowd of scared ponies, he raised his gun again and yelled firmly, "Alright! You all did very fuckin' good today, you hear me?! Now, if any o' you decide to get up while we leave, I still won't hesitate to come back and shoot you myself!" He placed his hoof on the trigger, "Have a good fuckin' day now!" and fired a volley of shots into the ceiling.

Laughing at his friend's outrageous behavior, Delirious blinked just in time to catch something moving to his right. Turning to it, he barely let out a scream as it slammed into him, knocking him into the ground with enough force to break bone. His head wobbly, he looked up and saw a large Earth Pony holding a hoof up, ready to punch the living shit out of him. Delirious braced himself for it, his gun having been knocked a few feet away.

BOOM.

Delirious cracked his eyes open.

Staring upward, he blinked.

And his breath caught in his throat.

His orange hair matted with blood and a gaping wound dripping in the side of his head, Big Macintosh stared down at Delirious, mouth open as if he was just in the middle of having a friendly conversation with him. His green eyes were shrunk, and his hooves were shaky, like they were unable to support his weight.

Slowly, quietly, Big Macintosh began to lean over.

And fall on the ground.

Delirious found his breath had escaped him, and he struggled desperately to retrieve it as the ringing in his ears continued to deafen him. He looked up, almost frightened, to find Lui aiming his Heavy Pistol where the Earth Pony had just stood. He gazed down at Delirious and presumably spoke a few words. Delirious could not hear them, and Lui turned around and sprinted elsewhere. Nogla appeared, holding a hoof out to him. Again, he spoke, and Delirious could not hear. Nogla shook his hoof. Still nothing. Again.

"Dude, get the fuck up!"

He retrieved his breath, and now took it in quick gulps to begin sustaining himself. Accepting his friend's hoof, Delirious scrambled away from the body on the floor, his hooves pitter patting against the tile like rain on a rooftop. A pool of blood began to form and cascade. The ponies, completely frozen on the spot, did not make an attempt to move. Delirious heard the telltale sounds of Vanoss and Wildcat escaping the building, but could not find it in him to move.

"C'mon!"

He turned.

"We need to get the hell out of here."

He stole a glance back at Big Macintosh.

Nogla grabbed him by the shoulder, "Let's go!"

Delirious choked.

Nogla shoved his Assault Shotgun into his chest, then pointed to the door.

"Now!"

The Pegasus finally obeyed, and, with Nogla, burst out of the Celestial Savings Bank and into the waiting sunlight. Gritting his teeth at it, Delirious stepped onto the grass and looked forward. His friends had stopped in their tracks, and now, looking at what they had seen, he did too. In front of them, a massive gathering of police ponies glared at them from behind magical barriers. The Unicorns' horns glowed bright, simultaneously keeping the shields up and presumably preparing combat spells. The Pegasi held crossbows in guncasts, the Earth Ponies doing the same.

Lui smirked.

"Hit it, Nogla."

"On it."

Delirious raised a hoof to protest, but to no avail as the top of Nogla's head began to glow bright green. The brown hoof that was previously extended outward in panic was now a light shade of blue.

Nogla's disguising spell was no longer in effect.

Instead, concrete blocks began to rise from the ground, allowing the spell caster and his friends much needed cover which they took immediately. Diving for the nearest one, which sat in the middle of the back, Delirious holstered his Shotgun and brought out Vanoss' RPG. Breathing in and out, he joined the others in aiming their much better weapons at the local police, who continued to glare, undaunted.

"Don't worry guys," Lui began, breaking his friends' silence as he revved up his Minigun, "we've got this."

At that instant, with the five now believing the odds were in their favor, the clouds above began to glow a bright yellow color, which soon grew to impossibly brilliant illumination. As the five robbers shielded their eyes in pantomime with, surprisingly, the police, a large explosion made itself deafeningly noticed. The light dying down, VanossGaming, I Am Wildcat, Lui Calibre, Daithi De Nogla, and H2O Delirious lowered their hooves, finding a dust cloud in front of where the police ponies had previously stood.

They waited, silently.

And, through the smoke, two pairs of sharp blue lights appeared.

The dust cleared.

And two ponies stared at them, their glistening, golden armor covering every single inch of their bodies, tail included. All across it, blue, wispy flames danced wildly, as if seeking something to strike and demolish. The two ponies stomped their front hooves down, lowering the front ends of their bodies as the blue flames began to zap horrendously. The previously plain blue eyeplates on their golden crested helmets flashed white from the inside, then flared outward in a deep, true royal blue.

Their armored horns glowed yellow and purple, and from their sides came a long, sharp staff, its exterior reminiscent of their owner's casing. Slamming the butt end into the dirt by their hooves, the sharp blades on the top fattened, gaining hundreds upon hundreds of teeth that gleamed with electricity. The ponies' mouth region, previously covered by a simple black mask, gained a new golden friend that slid into view atop it with a mechanical hiss.

The street was silent.

The lawponies had by now stepped way, way back, not wanting to provoke the Celestial Wardens.

Lui chomped down on his cigar, puffing away.

Vanoss hummed, heavy sniper in hoof.

Nogla held his MG in both hooves.

Wildcat glared.

Delirious began to chuckle, adjusting his grip on his pink RPG.

He shook his head, looking at his friends and then back to the Wardens.

They stood there, anticipating.

Delirious laughed.

"We're outta our fuckin' minds."

Author's Notes: