“Apple Family?”

He smiled wildly as a yellow filly sprung up from his couch, catching the attention of the previously anxious ponies nearby. Getting up from their seats - including the elder, who did so almost as fast as the others - they stood at attention as the stallion beckoned a hoof behind him.

“C’mon in,” the stallion said with a wink. Turning tail and going around his desk, he took his seat and watched as the Apple Family sat down. Comfortably adjusting their positions, the room was dead quiet once more, the only sound being the ceiling fan currently blowing above their heads.

The orange one in the front glanced about as if in a panic, her stature almost incapable of being stationary. She grit her teeth lightly, green eyes dancing about in a kind of desperate waltz. The stallion behind the desk chuckled loudly, adjusting his tie as he leaned forward and placed his forelegs onto his desk. Grinning, he began, “Now, I know with utmost certainty that you all can’t wait to figure out why I called you down here this…” he stopped, tapping his chin. Lighting his horn, he threw up the curtain to his left, then laughed, “...lovely afternoon.” Turning to them, he added, “Am I right?”

They collectively paused for a brief second before nodding as one. The businesspony smiled, “Well… I brought you all down here so we can discuss the future of Sweet Apple Acres, now that everything has been taken care of and such,” he pulled out a drawer, magicking a pile of papers and folders into the air, “you know. Boring things, like… papers… and forms for you to fill out. Nothing too bad, I assure you-”

The orange one raised a hoof, a look of confusion on her face. Waving the appendage, she screwed up her expression and stuttered, “Wh-wh-what do ya… mean... by ‘taken care of’, exactly?”

“Applejack, yes?”

“Huh- oh. Yeah, Applejack.”

“Well Applejack,” the Unicorn began, leaning back in his chair as the folders and papers began to stack on his desk, “by ‘taken care of’, I mean that… wellll, your debt’s been paid in full...”

The Apple Family’s eyes widened dangerously.

“...now, I’d like to go over a few things with you to, y’know, make sure you don’t go back into debt in the future-” He suddenly jumped at the practically ear-shattering sound of a very excited filly yelling happily.

“We’re keepin’ the farm!”

And so, it was just that day for Mr. Goodcolt. A day for his eardrums to be broken and, at that very moment, for his stapler to be flung across the room in complete happiness, shattering upon impact and sending hundreds of staples to fall to the ground in complete exhaustion. As he sat there, a smile on his face, he suddenly grew aware of a question that was bound to be asked.

Cursing in his mind, he looked up and found Applejack hugging her grandmother. She caught his gaze, and slowly a look of curiosity crept onto her face as she stopped, waving a hoof at him.

He dipped his head, pretending to write.

Shit.

“Hey, Mr. Goodcolt…”

His head darted upward, “Yes?”

She tongued her bottom lip, walking up to his desk as the room quieted down. Slowly planting her hooves onto his desk, she narrowed her eyes and spoke slowly, as if expecting the answer to come out as such too. Looking to her left and right, green finally stared into blue, and she asked.

“How exactly did we suddenly get outta debt…?”

Saul Goodcolt simply smiled in return, prepared for this.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Quick Time turned his head to look at the Pegasus in question. Scrunching his eyes, his mind reminded him how hard it would be to see, especially considering their current location. Breathing in and out calmly, he adjusted the backpack across his back and asked, "Hey man, you alright-"

"I'm fine."

"It's his first time an' all. Little guy probably doesn't know how things like this work."

Quick looked at Thundercloud angrily, "Hey, don't be like that. This guy right here is the only reason we're able to do this." Quick pointed at the Pegasus, prompting Thundercloud to roll his eyes, "And the reason you're all getting paid. When I called for this job, Thundercloud, I didn't ask for dumbasses, alright? Eyes forward ponies, we're about ready to head out." Quick Time adjusted his gear once more, licking his lips as he poked his head out of the sewer tunnel.

Eyes narrowing, he scanned the horizon.

The building sat idly in the middle of the field, a small collection of lights brightening it up from the inside. Its exterior looked completely run-down, seemingly abandoned and prepped for scrap at first glance. The roof was destroyed, an entire section now laying down on the ground in a large pile a few feet away from the side entrance, which was currently being watched over by a pair of guards. They glanced about, their horns lighting up the areas in front of them, casting shadows that danced along the paths of their gaze.

The paint on the building was absolutely faded, its previously blue color now appearing a pale gray, some parts revealing the metallic beams underneath. The front entrance was heavily guarded, with six guards currently standing in front of it, a bright yellow glow emerging from the windowed door closed behind them. They, like the side guards, looked around the surrounding area, lit by the few Unicorns' horns. The three Pegasi wielded crossbows in a gun cast, their rear legs ready to stomp in case of spotted enemies. The one Earth pony sat on his haunches, smoking a cigarette.

The field the building was in was full of unkempt grass that would be easy to sneak through, about the height of an average pony. The moon hanging in the sky cast its white glare solely onto the warehouse. A small, cut path led from their sewer tunnel and toward the grass, thankfully made when the tunnel was first created years ago.

Why anypony would make a place here was beyond Quick Time, but he smirked anyway. Too easy.

He turned his head back toward his team, eyeing them. Directly behind him was Thundercloud, who gave him a waggle of his eyebrows as he shifted the backpack atop his grey fur lightly. Following Thundercloud was Danger Close, who popped his neck in anticipation. Spell Bind looked at Quick Time from behind Danger Close, his horn levitating his crossbow up from next to him. Pulling the rear was the Pegasus they had brought onto the job, at the chagrin of everypony involved. Nopony knew who he was, and why he was using some kind of fake alias.

What the hell kinda name was H2O Delirious, anyway?

Delirious tapped a hoof against the tunnel wall impatiently, wondering how much longer they would be sitting there. Sighing, he tapped faster in a kind of Morse code, but suddenly perked up as Quick waved a hoof at him. Stepping toward him, he squeezed by Thundercloud, who shoved him slightly as he did so. Delirious immediately stopped, growling in his face. Thundercloud gave a big laugh, complimenting his big stature, "You think you scare me, you little shit?"

Delirious simply turned tail in response, walking up from behind Quick Time. Standing next to him, he crouched low as Quick did so as well, looking in the direction that he pointed his hoof. He squinted in search of what Quick called out. "Y'see over there, by the shed? Left side of the guard?"

He attempted to look, but found himself unable to.

He replied anyway, "Yeah, yeah. What about it?"

Quick shrugged his shoulders, "Listen, a long time ago, this place used to be some kinda playground or something for little foals. Some annual thing, I didn't care to look. Right by that shed is an entrance into an underground tunnel kinda like this one. The hatch is covered by a lotta grass since this place was abandoned years ago, but it's wooden and it shouldn't give you too much trouble. Now, unless you wanna get executed for all of us to see, I suggest you either take that there guard out or open that hatch as quietly as you've ever opened anything before."

Quick pointed, "Now, that tunnel's gonna lead you inside the warehouse, but you gotta stay hidden until we get in too. I'm not sure exactly what room you'll come into, but make sure you're not seen. If you need to, take out the guards in the room if there's any, alright?" He reached toward his backpack, pulling out an object and bumping Delirious' side with it. Delirious looked, finding a small crossbow in front of him. He raised a brow, and took it. Without a word, he stuffed it into his crotch to the absolute disgust of the stallions nearby.

"Ew, what the hell was that?"

"Gross..."

Delirious glared, pulling out his combat pistol. Raising it above his head, he said, "Don't need your shitty crossbow." He cocked the slide back coolly, then looked back at Quick Time as he asked, "We ready?"

The Unicorn stuck his tongue into his cheek, waving a hoof at Spell Bind. Three small objects levitated into view, falling into Quick's outstretched hoof. Sitting on his haunches, he put one in his ear, giving the next one to Thundercloud, who snatched it out quickly. Quick turned to Delirious, displaying one for him. "These are prototypes of Spell Bind's. Communication is key, and we need to be able to talk with one another every second here. Just put it in your ear, you'll be able to hear us and talk with us."

"Alright," Delirious replied. Placing it into his ear, he shook his head like a dog expelling water. Still holding his combat pistol, he looked at Quick Time, who was staring at a watch on his foreleg. Raising his other leg, he slowly lowered it. Mumbling, he suddenly slammed it downward and jabbed his hoof toward the rundown structure before them.

"Okay, go go go!"

"Great. Aunt. Birgid?"

"Yup."

"Y'all know about this Great Aunt Birgid, Granny?"

The old mare touched a shaky hoof to her chin, humming, "Well Ah... Ah think Ah remember some kinda Birgid. Ah'm not too sure... wh-where's she from?" She looked at Saul quizzically.

He grit his teeth, "She's uh... hang on, let me get out the file. It's somewhere around here..." Lighting his horn, he opened up the cabinet near him and pulled out a file, making sure that its contents were out of view of the Apple Family. Placing a hoof against it, he stuck his tongue out and slid the appendage down its length. He grit his teeth, tilting his head this way and that before finally saying, "Ah, San Palomino."

"San Palomino? Pretty strange fer an Apple ta be way out there-"

"She's not on your father's side, Miss Applejack."

"Ah, alright. Guess that might be why y'all don't know 'bout her, Granny," Applejack replied, looking at her grandmother. Granny Smith simply shrugged in response.

"Now, I apologize for putting all of her will into your farm without your permission-"

"No, that's fine Mr. Goodcolt," Big Macintosh replied, "That's what we would've done with it anyway."

Saul's face lit up as he grinned, "Oh, good, good! Well, that's basically it. Your debt is over, and now you can all go home and have ice cream to celebrate!"

The Apple Family smiled as one, nodding their heads as they slowly got up from their seats. As Big Macintosh opened the door, he looked at Saul, who watched as Apple Bloom and Granny Smith left. Applejack stopped at the door, turning to Saul as well before calling, "Thank you, Mr. Goodcolt. Have a nice day!"

Saul waved a hoof as Applejack left, and glanced at Mac as he stared silently. After a few heartbeats, Mac looked back at the door and exited the room, shutting the door behind him softly. As silence came back to Saul's life, he breathed out heavily and shut his eyes, running a hoof through his mane. Blowing air out of his lungs, he looked to his right and walked toward his closet door. He opened it slowly, then turned tail and trotted back to his chair.

"They're gone."

The Pegasus got up, walking out of the closet and closing it softly.

The mask frowned at him.

"Listen, you've got a lot of pelotas for doing this, man. That's blood money, and there will be collectors. That I can guarantee." The Pegasus walked toward the door, then stopped and trotted toward the window. Opening it up, he ignored the Unicorn who asked, "Hey hey hey, the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Leaving," the Pegasus said, placing his hooves on the windowsill.

"Delirious, you can't just..." Saul frowned heavily, waving his hoof as he took a seat in his chair, "Ah whatever. Just make sure you don't break anything, alright?"

CHHH

Saul swiveled about in his chair. He found Delirious looking at him innocently, his hoof currently smashed through his now-broken window. Delirious tilted his head, brought in his hoof, and flared his wings as he began to climb out. Simply, he said, "Alright," and flew to the outside. Saul sighed into the air of his office as he reclined in his chair. Horn lighting up, he opened his door and shouted into the hallway.

"Hey, ST?"

"I told you to not call me that, Saul!"

"Whatever, could you call the janitor over here?"

Delirious, hovering outside, rolled his eye and flew to the right to hug the wall of the building. Making sure that he wouldn't be seen, he inched toward the corner, held his breath, and dropped to the alley below. Landing in the grass with a dull thud, he shakingly wiped the dust from his forelegs and perked up as he watched Applejack and her family trot away from the office building, completely unknowing of his presence as they happily shouted with springs in their steps.

Delirious raised his mask, wiping his face tiredly as he sighed. Smiling, he replaced it and turned suddenly.

Wildcat looked at him with an impatient expression, a glare on his brow as he tapped a hoof on the ground. Vanoss stood against the building to their left, currently patting his forelegs against his stomach in a manner that showed he was strangely enjoying himself. Blowing raspberries at a mile a minute, he didn't even realize that Delirious was there until Wildcat spoke up.

"Alright, you done?"

Delirious scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, I'm done-"

"Oh thank God let's get the hell outta here. C'mon Evan," Wildcat said, waving a hoof at Vanoss, "let's go. Gotta see if they've got some kinda banana stand in this place..."

"Heh heh, funny story about that.."

"Wait," Delirious said, stepping back as Vanoss and Wildcat pushed past, "you guys're just leavin' me?"

Wildcat turned, adjusting the helmet atop his head, "Well uh... I mean, don't you have some horse ta fuck or something, Delirious?"

He growled angrily, "Fuck you."

Wildcat grinned at him, tilting his head.

Delirious rolled his eye, "No, I don't. Asshole." Rubbing the gauze around his leg, Delirious began to follow Wildcat as he and Vanoss walked out of the alley and turned right to start heading down the road. Trotting past a couple stores, the pig began to speak once more.

"Okay, so. I'm bored as hell, what're we gonna do today, Evan?"

Vanoss looked at Wildcat, placing his sunglasses onto the top of his head, "You wanna do some darts-"

"DAAAAAARTS."

Vanoss laughed, almost stopping in the middle of the road if it weren't for Delirious nudging him in the back. "Yeah, that one. I'm sure we could find a dart board around here somewhere. Probably back at that bar- you remember it, right Delirious?"

Delirious was currently looking elsewhere, but managed to say disinterestedly, "Yeah I mean.. probably." As the two in front of him began to talk once more, Delirious' mind began to tune out, his one eye taking in the town he was currently walking through. Slightly limping as they went their way, the Pegasus smiled, suddenly wondering why he wasn't out here enjoying himself.

Surely there was room to celebrate. He had made sure that Applejack and her family was okay, and that was good enough for him. He mentally rewarded himself and told his brain that he had done good today. Even though he ended up getting pretty beaten up the night before, it was completely worth it just to see her smile like that.

Delirious groaned, scratching his back with a wing as the three continued to walk through town. Wildcat was still talking, something about bananas and buses as per usual. Delirious fanned his mouth with the wing as he yawned, then scratched his back once again.

Quite honestly, Delirious was bored.

Vanoss suddenly pointed at something, and Delirious jumped as he yelled out what he had seen.

Delirious flew to the grass, making sure to slow down just before hitting it so that the stalks wouldn't rustle too noticeably. Crouched low to the ground, he breathed in and out to calm his furiously beating heart. Holstering his combat pistol, he began to crawl toward the house. The sound of a whisper met his right ear, and he about jumped at the action.

"Alright, advancing. Close, you in position yet?"

"Not yet, Quick. There's a guard right here, might need ta take him out before I can get to the trench."

"Do what you gotta do, Close. No screw-ups here, alright? Delirious, you there?"

Delirious fumbled around, caught by surprise, "Uh y-yeah, yeah, I'm here." Thundercloud laughed heartily in his ear. Delirious swore he'd beat the shit out of him the next time he saw that muscly bitch. Staying his position, he raised a hoof to his ear and cringed at the mud that met it, "What'cha got, Quick?"

"Delirious, the guard at the shed has a friend. You're gonna need to do something when you get over there, and you're gonna have to do it fast. You hear me?"

Delirious nodded, then spoke as he slowly got up, "Got it."

He heard the sounds of hooves smacking against one another accompanied by a laugh from Quick Time. "Hell yeah, boys. Let's get this shit done and get paid, huh?" A short roundabout of agreement buzzed in his ear, and then went silent. Delirious sighed heavily, thankful that his ear was no longer being verbally assaulted. Shaking his head, he began to crawl through the mud as slowly as molasses, the large warehouse growing ever closer in his vision.

When he was sitting down in the sewer tunnel, the field of grass didn't appear to be no more than twenty feet, but by now it had gone way over that. Groaning, he felt slabs of mud begin to stick to his coat. Tapping a hoof to his mask told him that even his trademark article was covered in the shit. He sighed once again, but resumed his crawling not a moment later. His heart beating aggressively, he dragged his body across the field until he began to spy a large, worn picket fence marking the boundary between the grass and the warehouse grounds.

A small dip separated a foot long hill that led up to the fence, completely devoid of the grass that had covered his approach for the past few minutes. He cursed under his breath, knowing full well that that was the only way he'd be able to get to where he needed to be. Stepping a hoof out into the open, he poked his head out soon after. Looking left and right, he found nothing for a brief second.

Suddenly, he looked up toward the area directly behind the fence.

A Unicorn was standing still, a crossbow levitating next to him in a yellow aura. He peered out silently, sweeping the grass fields with a glare on his face. Slowly, his gaze drew downward to the trench, and he raised a brow as he spotted Delirious. Leaning forward, he mouthed something for a quick moment in his life before raising his weapon to aim at Delirious.

"H-"

PFF

Delirious stopped, stepping back as the Unicorn tumbled over the fence and settled in the watery bottom of the trench with a sickening schlip. Staring at him, he watched a small pool of blood begin to pool out from his ears. Delirious gulped.

"Geez Delirious, were you gonna kill that guy?" Danger Close called, chuckling afterward. "Don't worry man, me and Bianca took 'im out. Hurry up, you gotta get to that shed.

Delirious nodded, even though he knew that no one could see him. Stepping past the Unicorn now dead on the ground, he crept up the hill and lay prone on the ground. Glancing from the bottom of the fence, he watched as the front guards stood menacingly but completely unaware of what had just happened. The Pegasi were now facing different directions, intent on catching any unwanted guests. The single Earth pony was still standing against a wall, breathing out a long wisp of smoke from the cigarette in his hoof.

Blue eyes shifted left, spotting the shed. Lowering, they found the small patch of grass currently hiding the hatch that led inside. Delirious looked to the guards near it, both of whom were talking with one another. One was a Pegasus and the other was an Earth pony. Delirious grinned, knowing that it would be a piece of cake to deal with them. Breathing out into the air, he looked to his left and slowly rose. Making sure there wasn't anyone watching, he flared his wings and flew down the fence.

Folding his wings, he went into a roll and looked right. A small portion of the fence was destroyed, easily allowing for his entrance. Crawling through it, he found himself on the warehouse grounds finally. Wiping his forelegs, he groaned inwardly as the mud remained, now caked into his fur. Rolling his eyes, he drew a hoof down his mask and successfully purged it from the evil mud. Blowing a prolonged raspberry, he took a risky glance to his right, ensured that no one was the wiser, and quickly flew toward the shed.

Pressing his back against the metal wall, he inched toward the right corner and peered around it. The right flank of a pony met his eyes from the opposite side of the shed. Catching their conversation, he realized they were completely off their guard. Throwing his head back to his side, he looked toward his stomach and raised a hoof in anticipation.

"Yeah, that's pretty stupid of you, man, you oughta apologize next time you see 'er-"

"Hey, I'm gonna take a piss. Be right back."

"Alright, Flow, I'll take watch."

Delirious breathed in and out softly, waiting for his opportunity. Listening to the sounds of hooves rustling grass, he patiently anticipated what he was about to do. The noise suddenly stopped, and a new noise took its place in the form of gear rattling around. Another one joined, and was unmistakably the sound of pissing on the Earth. Delirious carefully poked his head around the corner and had his suspicions confirmed.

Narrowing his eyes, he reached toward his crotch and brought out his combat pistol.

Chuckling darkly, he dramatically cocked the slide back. The pissing Earth pony continued what he was doing.

"That's a fuckin' tree house if I've ever seen one."

"Holy shit, that thing's fuckin' huge."

The three stood still, impressed by the mass of the tree sitting idly before them. It easily overshadowed them, and they quite honestly expected it to be a playground for dumb kids. They were denied such thoughts as they noticed the sign nearby, a pink-ish one that held a large cutout of a book on it. Confused, they all blinked rapidly at it.

A pony walked out of the door, a pile of books hovering next to her.

Delirious hummed.

Vanoss coughed.

Wildcat scratched his ass.

"The fuck is it?"

"I dunno man, but," Vanoss said, pulling out his homing launcher, "it looks flammable-" He suddenly fell to the floor, his launcher clattering to the grass next to him. Holding his face, he shouted, "Ah, Delirious, you dick!"

Delirious patted his baseball bat, tutting at him, "Hey, you wanna go back to jail again bitch?"

Vanoss groaned, hooves falling to his sides. He glared at Delirious, "No."

"Then get the hell up and let's actually go inside." The Pegasus looked at Wildcat and asked, "You wanna try that, too?"

"I think if I tried to use a fuckin' RPG I'd break my back, Delirious."

"Well good." He swept a hoof toward the entrance, "Bitches first."

Wildcat rolled his eyes, "Fuck you," but went ahead. Delirious looked back down at Vanoss, watching as he got up with a loud groan. Vanoss stood still for a brief second to pop his joints, then punched Delirious in the foreleg before following Wildcat. The Pegasus bit his lip viciously, the hit having landed on his bad side. Vanoss no doubt knew that, no thanks to his laughing as he walked away. Flailing his wounded leg, Delirious whimpered in pain before shakily stepping it back onto the ground.

He winced, but was able to keep it steady. Breathing out a sigh of relief, he looked at the tree house and began to walk toward it as well. He began to blink quickly, noticing that Wildcat and Vanoss were both just standing motionless inside, staring straight ahead at something. Delirious quickened his pace, reduced to a quick limp with one of his legs basically destroyed from the other night. Crossing the threshold, he slowed to a halt as he too realized what was happening.

"Spike, Spike! Where is the history book in Section 24b?!"

"It's, it's uh... it's around here somewhere Twilight just gimme a minute!"

The purple Alicorn stopped, hovering in the air as she glared toward the book pile on the ground. Planting her hooves against her hips, she shouted, "Spike, get out from there! This is important!"

A darker purple head suddenly poked out of the top of the pile, flinging a few hardcovers a couple of feet away. Shaking his head, he raised his arms from the mass and pointed to the book in one of them, "Twilight, is this what you're looking for?"

She raised a brow, but lit her horn and snatched the book from the dragon's grasp. Humming, she raised it to eye level and read the cover. Blinking, she lowered it and looked down at the drake. "Spike, this is a book on dating advice..."

Spike stuttered, quickly jumping up and grabbing it from the mare's magic. Cheeks aflame, he stowed it deep into the book pile furiously before chuckling embarrassingly as he tapped his claws together. Twilight rolled her eyes and turned to go back to the bookshelves. Eyes widening, she gasped as she noticed the trio of ponies standing at the entrance. Swooping down, she called, "Spike, take care of this! We have customers!"

Spike groaned heavily, stomping off to the rest of the bookshelves. Twilight ignored him as she touched to the ground, fluttering her wings before folding them by her sides. Clearing her throat, she smiled and spoke happily, "Hello there! Welcome to the Golden Oaks Library, I'm Twilight Sparkle." She thrust a hoof toward them and waited.

Vanoss regarded it for a minute or so before shaking it. Twilight laughed and clapped her hooves together afterward. Coughing, she waved a hoof to the area behind her and said, "As you can see, we're currently in a state of reordering, but if you would like to check a book out, I'm sure we could help you out-"

She suddenly trailed off, tilting her head. Vanoss got out of the way to follow her line of sight, and found Delirious staring back. Twilight gasped, walking over to him. "Oh! I didn't see you there! I remember you, you were the one that saved Applejack a week ago!" She suddenly cringed, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? You look like you had a disagreement with somepony."

Wildcat suddenly screwed up his face, looking at Delirious as he spoke, "Yeah Delirious, what the hell even happened anyway?"

"Could you.. maybe watch your language sir? Spike isn't old enough to-"

"I heard that!" yelled Spike, glaring at Twilight. "It's not like I haven't heard it with Rainbow Dash before..."

Twilight rolled her eyes, then turned toward Wildcat and stated, "Just don't do it, okay? I'd greatly appreciate it, if you don't mind." Wildcat nodded, and the Alicorn sighed in content. "What's your name, sir?"

"I'm Wildcat," he replied, then pointed to the red Earth pony and said, "That's Vanoss."

Twilight smiled, "Thank you, Wildcat. Now, would you guys like to check out a book?"

"No, books are boring."

"Yeah, I'd rather do something fun."

Twilight glared at them, obviously annoyed with their insults to her greatest love. "Well, anyway, would you like to come in and sit down? Maybe take a breather? It's hot outside today, isn't it?"

The three nodded, and Vanoss and Wildcat walked past her and toward the dragon currently dusting off the bookshelves. Twilight watched them go, then turned back to Delirious and gave him a grim expression, "I hope you're okay. I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Delirious."

"Great to meet you Delirious. How are you? Last time I saw you, you were in the hospital."

Delirious shrugged, shaking his wounded leg, "Eh, it's fine. Gotta worry about this thing now though."

Twilight looked at it, "I hope it doesn't hurt-"

"Nah, I'm good. Just kinda stings from time to time." It was a lie. Shit hurt like a bitch, but Twilight didn't see past it and nodded.

"Well," she began, smiling at him, "I hope you're enjoying Ponyville! Trust me, the longer you stay here, it'll grow on you." She laughed, "You know, when I first arrived here, I thought I would hate this place in less than a day. Never have I been so wrong. I'm glad I stayed." The two stared at one another in silence as Twilight sighed in nostalgia. Silence filled the air around the two, completely independent of the loud shouting emanating from behind them.

Delirious raised a brow, leaning over and waving a hoof over Twilight's face.

She shook her head as she shut her eyes, then bit her lower lip and apologized, "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened there. Heh heh, well uh... would you like to sit down?"

Delirious tapped a hoof to his chin thoughtfully, then looked up and shrugged, "Sure."

The duo walked to the middle of the room and toward a large collection of chairs and couches. A likewise big coffee table sat in between them, a few books laying on it with their pages torn. Delirious eyed it carefully, wondering exactly what their purpose was. Twilight caught on as she looked over her shoulder, then jabbed at the air with her head.

"Oh, sometimes ponies get a little rough with the books. I-In my free-time, I just work on repairing them. You know, making sure that it's not too terrible." Twilight flopped down onto the main couch, looking up at Delirious with an admittedly adorable smile. He returned the gesture rather awkwardly, taking a seat as far away from her as possible.

Which just so happened to be right across from her.

And she continued to stare, a single hoof against the side of her head.

Delirious didn't have any French girls.

This was a fucking problem.

"So..."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Twilight got up, waving her hooves around in a possible panic. As she did so, her hoof completely destroyed the stack of torn books and knocked them to the ground in a heap. Delirious glanced about in a panic, not wanting to help in fear of... something that he couldn't quite place. If she was a friend of Applejack's, she had to be nice... right? Twilight groaned, lighting her horn and magicking them back onto the table. Aligning them, she coughed into a hoof and beamed at Delirious embarrassingly. "Sorry about that. Get kinda careless sometimes, heh heh.."

Delirious blinked.

"So! Have you uh... met any of the other girls, Delirious? I know you know Applejack already, and from what I heard, you've met Rarity as well."

Delirious hummed, his hoof reaching to his back to scratch it. He bit his lower lip in an attempt to stave off the large laugh he was harboring. "I've hung out with Rainbow Dash. Pretty cool chick. She taught me how to fly a few days ago, actually-"

"Oh, she did? That was nice of her! She's been teaching Scootaloo too, it's so amazing how far she's come since they met! So, let's see... you just met me, and I like you already! You seem like a nice pony."

Delirious blinked.

Twilight leaned forward, pressing a hoof into her chin, "That means you haven't really met Fluttershy yet, then... and you won't see Pinkie for a while. I'm not sure when she'll be back-"

"Pinkie?"

"Yes, that's another one of our friends. She's the funniest pony in town, always brightens everypony's days. She left a couple days back, said she had to go find a rock someplace...? I dunno, Pinkie Pie's always doing something random. So I guess all that's really left is Fluttershy, then. Hey, you wanna wait for her? She and I are supposed to have some tea time today, and she'll be here in about a few minutes or so! I'm sure she'd love to meet you!"

Delirious blinked.

"Uh... Fluttershy?"

"Yep! I'm sure you two'll hit it off, she's really great with ponies!"

"Like... Flutter, and Shy?"

Twilight blinked.

"...yes, why?"

"Never mind," Delirious replied, shaking his head. Wait... his head. He looked down at his nose and noticed the white object covering it and the rest of his face. Oh shit.

A knocking came from the front door, prompting Twilight to jump with delight and practically fling herself to the entry way of her library. Throwing the door open, she waved a hoof at the yellow Pegasus standing at the door with a smile. "Come in, Fluttershy! How's your day been?"

As the two began to walk to the couch, Fluttershy replied softly, "Oh, it's been wonderful! When I woke up this morning, Angel was kind enough to make me some breakfast in bed! Discord was really nice to me as well, today's been a very great day so far." She suddenly flinched, then sheepishly asked, "Uh, how was your day, Twilight?"

"Oh, same old, you know? Just repairing some books and reorganizing everything like usual. Hey, you wanna take a seat while I go make some tea?"

"Sure, Twilight-"

Delirious caught the sound of a sudden, dangerous inhale as hooves screeched against the floor. Mumbles followed soon after, and he raised an ear to better listen to them.

"Who- Who is that, Twilight."

"Fluttershy, he's a friend of Applejack's. C'mon, maybe you two could talk a bit while you wait."

Delirious looked to his right, watching as Fluttershy walked into view and eyed him from behind the cover of the couch's backrest. Leaning this way and that, her eyes danced around in their sockets before she slowly walked forward. Stepping toward the chair across from him, she sank into it gradually, looking at him out of the corners of her eyes the whole time. Delirious blinked calmly as she did so, and she finally settled on the purple chair and sat as patiently as a dog.

Her eyes went everywhere but him.

"So... uh... what's your name?"

Fluttershy bit her lower lip, her left foreleg beginning to tap on the couch cushion.

"I'm Del- uh, my name's Jonathan." He stuck a hoof out across the coffee table.

Fluttershy took notice of it, slowly looking at the blue appendage in silence. Slowly, she raised her own hoof rather shakily to meet his, then finally grabbed it in midair.

Delirious cringed inwardly at the amount of sweat present on it.

It rivaled Nogla's hand after he furiously fucked himself in his basement with those kids.

A smile slowly formed on Fluttershy's face as they shook hooves. They both settled back into their chairs as Fluttershy spoke, "I... I'm Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you Jonathan.."

"Nice to meet you too, haha." Delirious sighed heavily as he leaned forward, tapping his hooves together. "So uh... who's Angel?"

She grinned, "Oh, that's my bunny friend! He's only the sweetest bunny in existence!"

Delirious blinked.

He swore a part of him was about to spew rainbows. He held his tongue.

He really didn't wanna clean the carpets anyway.

Holy fucking dick shit thank God-

"Alright, I'm back you guys! I hope you don't mind tea, Delirious. It's... kind of a tradition." She flashed him a grin, placing the green kettle and cups onto the coffee table.

He shrugged in response. As Twilight began to fill up the three cups on the platter, Fluttershy leaned to her left and asked, "Delirious? I-I thought your name was Jonathan..."

"Fake uh.. name. Jonathan's my real name. More people just know me by Delirious, heh heh. Sorry, you can still call me Jonathan if you want-"

"No, that's okay. If you like Delirious, then I'll call you Delirious." Fluttershy smiled weakly at him as she was handed her tea cup. Cradling it in her hooves like a small child, she looked up at Twilight and asked, "So, what have you been up to lately, Twilight?"

The Alicorn levitated a mug toward Delirious, which he grabbed quickly and almost immediately dropped. Sucking in a breath, he practically threw it back onto the table, getting a few giggles from the mares in the room as Twilight asked, "Never have tea before, Delirious? It's hot, hee hee."

Delirious flailed his hoof as if he had a hangnail, teeth grit all the while, "No, I - fuck - haven't, no." Breathing in and out to calm himself down, he pressed his back against the couch and crossed his forelegs in annoyance as he waited for his beverage to cool down. A suspicious brow went up as he watched the two mares drink from theirs with no issue, even smiling as they looked to one another.

"Oh, sorry Fluttershy. I've just been really caught up on fixing up the library, to be honest. I haven't had much time for other things, you know?"

"Oh, I completely understand. This whole week I've been trying to train Ms. Wormwood's class on hatching chickens, and I hate to be rude but it's just been so hard! There's one colt who just won't calm down! All he wants to do is... run around the chicken coop with his stuffed tiger! Honestly, I don't see why Ms. Wormwood lets him bring the poor thing!" She suddenly leaned in and whispered, "It looks comatose!"

"Have you been sleeping lately-"

"No," Fluttershy said immediately, laughing. "That's why Angel and Discord were nice to me; I spent the entire last night just working on calming the chickens down..."

Twilight licked her lips, looking around nervously. A slight frown on her face, she asked in a hushed tone, "Have you been... taking-"

"Yes... I'm not sure how much it helps though..."

"Hey, watch this Spike!"

The three suddenly looked to the bookcase and gasped in shock at what they saw. Vanoss stood atop one of the step ladders, reaching a hoof into one of the shelves. The leg rustled endlessly, and he pulled out a large red book and showed it to the library in victory. Chuckling loudly, he shouted, "Hey, I found your book Twilight!" The motion of him being a total jackass caused him to tip back on top of the ladder, his arms making loops in the air as he stuttered in surprise.

His ensuing fall was inevitable and completely unavoidable.

As he lay there on the ground, writhing in pain, Fluttershy looked to Twilight quickly and asked, "Oh my gosh, why didn't you help him?!"

Fluttershy watched in confusion as Twilight stood smiling at the event, her face unchanging from the most stock looking open-mouth grin she had ever seen. Fluttershy's head turned toward Vanoss, who held his chest as he groaned loudly. Wildcat stood over him, laughing as hard as his pig body could handle. Though Spike was initially cautious of laughing it Vanoss' expense, seeing his new friend do so was enough to get him going.

"Hey, Spike?"

The dragon stopped what he was doing, still clutching his chest as he looked at Twilight.

"Why don't you take Vanoss and Wildcat upstairs and show them your rock collection?"

Spike rolled his eyes, a hand at his hip, "Lauren Faust, Twilight, they're minerals-"

"Whatever," she replied, waving a hoof disinterestedly, "go. Bring your friends up with you."

Wildcat walked past Spike with a simple and snarky, "C'mon man, let's leave the girls to their tea party."

Vanoss did the same as his pig friend, patting Spike on the side as he called, "Let's go, pal."

The purple drake groaned, but blew a raspberry afterward and followed them. As they disappeared up the staircase, Twilight looked from Fluttershy then to Delirious in silence. Waving a hoof with a giggle, she spoke, "Well, now that that's over, we can get back to what we were doing." Raising her tea cup to her lips, she spoke into the bottom of her cup, "Oh, have you heard what happened with Applejack's farm?"

Fluttershy gasped, almost dropping her mug, "No! What happened?"

Twilight replied, "Turns out she's in debt! She might lose Sweet Apple Acres to the bank!"

The yellow Pegasus gave a sorrowful expression, "Oh my gosh, that's so terrible! I hope that she gets it all cleared out-"

"It's been taken care of."

The two mares suddenly drew their heads back, looking at Delirious.

"Taken care of?" Twilight asked.

Delirious nodded.

"What do you mean, Delirious?"

Delirious gave them both casual, uncaring looks. Blinking, his eye remained half-lidded as he leaned forward and grabbed his now cool cup of tea. Holding it in a hoof, he looked from one mare to the other and quietly raised it to his lips. He spoke four simple words before drinking, "It's taken care of."

Twilight glanced at Fluttershy, who shrugged. She decided to return the gesture as Delirious lowered his cup. Clearing her throat, Fluttershy stuttered, "I-I hope so. It'd be horrible to see her lose it. She'd be torn..."

"Yeah, especially since she's seemed so happy recently... hey, Delirious."

His head snapped up at the catching of his name. Coughing, he looked around wildly and responded, "Uh, yeah?"

"Have you noticed that Applejack's been... happy lately? Like," Twilight leaned toward him, "really happy?"

"I don't know what you're talking about-"

Fluttershy interrupted, a hoof in the air, "Please, Twilight, I don't wanna hurt his feelings..."

"Oh it's alright, Fluttershy," Twilight replied, smiling at Delirious, "a little teasing never hurt anyone. Besides, I think he knows what we're talking about."

Delirious blinked.

Twilight grinned.

Delirious blinked.

Twilight grinned.

Delirious blinked.

Twilight grinned.

Delirious blinked.

Fluttershy blinked twice.

"What-"

"You and Applejack!" Twilight watched as Delirious narrowed his eye in response. Twilight grinned, laughing, "Oh c'mon, don't tell me you don't see it too!"

"Twilight, we don't really know if Rarity was telling the truth..."

The Alicorn tilted her head, shrugging, "I guess not. Still though, she seems a lot happier nowadays. Ever since you got here, she's been more... relaxed..." she turned toward Delirious, "if you didn't know before, Applejack is one of the hardest workers any of us have ever seen. She practically hates relaxation. You can see why she and Rarity butt heads a lot." She pointed at his mask. "But you. She's a lot happier around you from what Rarity says, and Rarity is really good at deciphering ponies."

"Twilight, this is just gossip, we can't be too sure..."

At that moment, the Alicorn held a hoof to her head as she winced. Shaking, she grit her teeth and sputtered, "I'm sorry... my head hasn't been feeling so well lately... I must be working too much.. heh, all these books must be hurting my brain to read day and night. Do you mind if I get some medicine really quick?"

Fluttershy and Delirious both swiftly replied, "No, that's fine."

Looking at one another, they didn't notice as Twilight left the room. Shrugging in unison, they drank from their tea cups in silence. Finishing his, Delirious lay back in his chair with a heavy sigh, completely bored with his current locale. His mind had been finalizing something for the past few minutes, and only now had it been resolved once and for all.

Tree houses were cool.

Literal tree houses were fucking boring.

He'd only been in this fucking place for about a few minutes now. He needed an excuse to get out. Curious as to what time it was, his eye widened as he took a spit-take, his tea becoming quick lovers with the wood by his hooves. Wiping his mouth, he suddenly realized that he hadn't been there for a few minutes.

He had left Saul's office at 11:15.

It was now 1:57.

Delirious got up, assisted by his now-fluttering wings. Coughing into a hoof, he grinned sheepishly at Fluttershy and accidentally cursed, "Fuck, I gotta go. Tell Twilight I'm sorry, my friends and I are gonna miss a... uh.. movie."

The mare gasped in shock at his word choice, moving her head and placing her mane in front of her eyes like a curtain. Biting her lower lip, she stuttered cutely, "Wh-What movie...?"

Delirious opened his mouth, a hoof in the air. His expression unchanging, he hummed loudly in a droned tone, "Uh......" Blue eye narrowed, then suddenly widened as he finalized, "Dick Chocolate." He suppressed the urge to laugh at the shy mare's repeated gasp. Waggling his eyebrows, he began to walk over to the staircase and raised a foreleg to his mouth. Looking up the spiral, he called, "Guys! Vanoss! Wildcat! We gotta go!"

Silence met his ears.

A voice came from behind him back at the couch.

"M-Maybe they're playing a-"

CLUNK

Delirious turned to his left casually, an unimpressed look on his face.

Wildcat and Vanoss slowly began to crawl out of the bathtub now lodged in the floor of the library. Blue eye looking up, he found Spike peering down at them through the tub-shaped hole above their heads. A smile on his face, he waved at Delirious.

Delirious waved back, blinking rapidly in an attempt to understand what exactly was happening.

"Holy shit, that was awesome!"

"My fuckin' ass hurts, Evan, you weren't the one sitting in the back. Your fat ass was sitting on my dick, and this tub is made out of fucking metal."

Vanoss looked back at it silently.

It looked as if a five year old filly had drawn it with their bad hoof on a piece of sand paper while on a busy wagon.

And the filly had severe arthritis. Vanoss turned to Wildcat and began to pick his nose. Though the pig attempted to step back, he visibly jumped as the expected booger landed on his chest. Wiping it off, he glared at Vanoss and challenged him. Opening his mouth, he tossed it in and chewed.

DarkSydePhil couldn't have made Vanoss cringe more.

"So Delirious, you gonna be able ta get home okay?"

Quick looked over at the Pegasus, who looked back at him with a large glare on his brow. When the Pegasus had arrived, he had been as clean as a whistle. But now, their mission complete, he looked as if he had been in the deepest, darkest pits of a rain-infested trench war. Though he looked, and probably felt like actual shit, his mood seemed to be unchanged from the silent one it was before they had started. Leaning forward in the light of the warehouse, he grabbed his gunny sack and turned tail to start heading off.

Quick watched him go quietly, but bit his lip violently and waved a hoof at him. "Hey, Delirious!"

The Pegasus stopped, but did not look at him.

Quick licked his lips, "If you ever need somepony for a job... you call me, alright?"

Delirious slowly turned his head, his body shadowed by the pitch-black color of the midnight sky. The single, surviving eye glared at Quick Time.

The Unicorn swore that it looked completely red. Delirious continued on, adjusting the large sack of bits over his back. Stalking past the rows of dead bodies lining the warehouse grounds, he stopped, lowered his body, and flared his wings. Jumping, he furiously flapped, looked to the sky, and flew away without another sound.

As he disappeared past the cover of the trees, Quick sighed heavily and about-faced to stare back into the building. The Earth pony in the middle of the spotlight continued to crawl away, a long streak of blood trailing behind him. Loud sputters and wails of pain echoed across the room, the two other ponies glaring down at the stallion with looks of disinterest.

Thundercloud grinned.

Danger Close tapped a hoof against the concrete.

Quick Time lit his horn, and the hood on his back went over his face. Chuckling darkly, he looked behind him, magicked the unloading door, and shut it closed.

The door slammed shut with a thunk. The trio gave long, dramatic sighs as they reveled in the peace and quiet that was actually fun. Delirious, still standing at the entrance, let his back collapse against the wooden surface. Slowly, he slid down and rubbed his face heavily with his hooves. As they looked at each other with expressions of relief, Delirious groaned, "Oh thank God man."

"Jesus, I thought they'd never stop."

"Delirious, did you know that there are, like, three thousand different kinds of minerals in the world?"

The Pegasus smacked his lips, a blank look on his face, "No-"

"Yeah, neither did I. Rocks are for fucking nerds."

Vanoss nudged the pig, "Jesus Christ, Wildcat, they're minerals-"

"Fuck you."

Delirious rose to his hooves, wiping the dust from them as he yawned. Stretching his aching muscles, he watched as Wildcat looked around the town with boredom. Eyes half-lidded, he appeared to be on the verge of falling asleep on the grass. Finished with his task, Delirious walked toward the pig and stopped mid-step as he sneered.

"Well, I'm officially bored as hell. Hope you had fun at your tea party, Delirious."

The Pegasus rolled his eye, then looked at Vanoss. For the second time that day, he was patting his stomach while blowing thousands of raspberries. Vanoss suddenly took notice of his one man crowd and stopped, eyes wide in embarrassment. Blinking, he coughed into a hoof and scratched the back of his neck. As the three slowly looked forward as one, the sun beat down on them with its worst barrage yet. Wildcat noticed it, cursing as he wiped his forehead.

Or, attempted to.

He instead banged his hoof on the helmet, rattling his skull.

Completely oblivious to their friends stupidity, Vanoss and Delirious scanned the town for anything to keep them interested. Scrunching his eyes, Vanoss leaned forward and pointed with a hoof. "Hey... you guys see that?" They nodded in response.

"You guys wanna check it out?"

Wildcat and Delirious looked at each other. Together, they shrugged. "Fuck it," they said simultaneously. Delirious flared his wings. Wildcat grabbed a hooful of Delirious' blue fur. Vanoss readied a fence nearby, his hammer and weight slamming the first post into the ground. Suffice to say, Wildcat and Delirious beat the Earth pony to the selected landmark, but Vanoss wasn't too far behind. As he coughed grass and dirt back into their homes, he joined his friends as they stared in awe at the store in front of them.

Foals R Us

"That's fucking bullshit-"

BOOSH

"Ah fuck!"

A green pony came sprinting out of the store, three large bags hovering next to him as he booked it. Exhaling heavily, he stumbled, twisted, and tripped over a loose piece of grass, his face smashing into the ground with enough force to break bone. As she shook his paper-bagged head, he looked to his right and scrambled for the items now lying in the grass. Cursing under his breath, he reached a hoof out to retrieve it, but watched in horror as the appendage suddenly gained a new bracelet.

As the police officer turned him over and grabbed at his other hoof, he began shouting at the top of his lungs.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IT WASN'T ME!"

"Tell it to the judge, bucko."

The officer brought the pony up to his legs, beginning to drag him away. The thief suddenly turned to his left and spotted a trio of individuals looking at him. His eyes widened as he yelled through his paper bag.

"WAIT! WAIT I KNOW YOU GUYS! HELP ME! HELP!"

Pulling, he came loose of the police officer's grasp, practically throwing himself onto Wildcat. Holding his front leg like a child with his mother's skirt, he cried, "Tyler, Tyler please. You gotta help me! I can't go to prison! You know what happens in prison?!"

Wildcat stared ahead, as still as a statue.

The Unicorn looked at Delirious, "Delirious! For fuck's sake, we had an adventure together! We stole that tank from the fuckin' military!"

Delirious ignored him.

He finally looked at Vanoss, "Evan, please-"

"You little foal, stop resisting," the officer ordered, hastily shaking the bagged stallion from Wildcat's legs. Looking up at the pig, he apologized, "Sorry 'bout that sir," and tipped his blue cap. Wildcat nodded in response as the new prisoner was carried away. His screams could still be heard for miles as he was dragged to the jail.

"YOU ASSHOLLLLLLLLES!"

It was awhile before Delirious, Vanoss, and Wildcat looked at one another in silence.

A few ponies had joined them in watching the green pony leave, and now they were talking among themselves suspiciously. As the situation settled, the three slowly began to realize that something was up. Each knew that they were thinking about how long ago Wildcat had joined, and how long it had taken for... him to join. Something was up. Something was definitely up. Pretty soon, they realized, they wouldn't be bored as hell.

This gave them both excited eagerness and suspicious paranoia.

Looking at each other, they thought about what next to say to break the suspenseful silence.

It was Vanoss who stepped up.

"...holy shit, was that Nogla?"

Delirious walked forward, bending over to assess the heaps of items lying on the ground. The plastic bags had been carrying large stacks of golden bits, as was usual and common sense for any kind of robbery. But there was one more thing sitting in the sun, soaking up both the warmth of the celestial body and the dry bird dung underneath it. Reaching out with a hoof, Delirious grabbed one of the articles and glared at it in one hoof.

Slowly, he dangled the adult diaper in front of him, a look of absolute disgust present on his face.

Scrunching up his eye, he looked back at Wildcat and Vanoss and spoke one simple word.

"Yep."

He dropped the diaper onto the ground, then bent down and grabbed another item he had previously missed. Tossing it to himself, he heard Wildcat ask, "What the hell are we doing with that?"

Delirious turned on his wounded leg, grinning evilly. Casting a glance down at the can, he thrust it forward to show his friends.

They read it aloud.

"Bouncing Filly Irish Potato Food."

Delirious laughed darkly, a large simper on his face.

"We're gonna need this later."

Author's Notes:

10k words. There you go.

I'm gonna take a little break now, alright? I'm fucking tired. Hope it didn't fuck up this chapter, I'm really sorry if it did. Is it bad that I feel kind of horrible about this chapter? I wanted this 10k to be special, but I feel like it's not good at, like, all.

Oh yeah Nogla's here now too. Why and how did he get here so fast?

Something is coming, and it's big.