She rubbed her eyes softly, blinking as she surveyed the room around her. Giving a huge smile, she sighed, "Ahh, what a lovely morning!" Getting out of bed, she trotted toward a nearby window, lighting her horn and enveloping the curtains in a blue aura. Throwing them open, she grinned at the sunlight that peeked through the glass.

"What a day! Just perfect for designing!" Walking toward her door, she pushed it open and leaned her head out, "Sweetie Belle, are you awake?" Receiving no response, she asked again, "Sweetie Belle?"

As silence answered her, Rarity shrugged and ducked her head back into her room. A frown on her face, she straightened herself and cleared her throat. "No matter... I suppose I should work on my orders today." Suddenly, she stopped, a low growl emanating from her stomach. Her brow furrowed. "Or... I suppose I should get some breakfast. Hopefully nothing ends up ruined by the time morning is over. I believe Rainbow Dash is at work, so I guess that percentage is minimal."

She turned her head toward the window, expecting something to crash through it.

Nothing came.

Rolling her eyes, Rarity left her room and descended the staircase, her thoughts converging on one thing and one thing only: food. While she couldn't audibly announce it, she felt like she could eat more than twice a dozen pancakes.

And Rarity didn't even like pancakes.

Shaking her head, she turned and walked into her kitchen, her mind thinking to what she would eat for the morning. Surely she shouldn't make a massive meal; she still had orders to fill out, and she quite honestly didn't want to procrastinate on importance by eating her heart out. So, with a sigh and a slight frown, she lit her horn and tried to find the cabinet containing her Cheerilee-o's.

A light rapping on her door interrupted her. Ceasing her concentration, she hummed, looking through the wall and toward her front door. She continued her action for a brief second, wondering if the knocking was important. She surely wasn't expecting anypony to come by; she doubted that Miss Philharmonica would come a whole day early. Licking her lips, she decided to answer it.

Swinging the door open, she began to speak, "Ah! Hello there! Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is-"

"Rarity."

The mare opened her eyes, looking down and to the right toward the source.

Sweetie Belle stared up at her sister, a smile on her face.

"Oh... hello... Sweetie Belle. Are you okay?"

"Yeah Rarity! I'm okay!"

An awkward silence ensued. Sweetie Belle basically destroyed it with a laser-beam chainsaw.

"Would you mind getting me my sewing kit?"

Rarity blinked. "Why, whatever for, Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie Belle stood like a statue, still gazing up into her sister's blue eyes, "I uh... Scootaloo tore her cape apart when we were going down a hill. It's not really pretty." Leaning her head to the side, she peered into the Boutique, "the sewing stuff is in my room-"

"Sweetie Belle, can you simply not get it yourself?"

The filly blinked, only needing to answer with an action, stepping aside to show her hooves. The mud completely caking them began to drip onto the front step. Sweetie squealed, suddenly being enveloped in a blue aura. Looking down, she watched as the small puddle instantly disappeared. She knew what was to come next.

In the blink of an eye, the mud on her hooves disappeared.

Sweetie found herself plopped back to the ground. Narrowing her eyes, she glared up at her sister, who smiled back at her devilishly.

"All better! Now," she trailed off, sweeping a hoof into the Boutique.

Thinking quickly, she added, "It's inside my closet!"

Rarity raised a brow.

"On the top shelf."

The mare sighed, still throwing a hoof toward the area behind her. Sweetie Belle gave a slight nod, stepping inside as Rarity turned tail and began to walk up the stairs. She stopped at the foot of the staircase, turning back to her sister, who suddenly dropped back into her prior position. Narrowing her eyes, Rarity pursed her lips, thought for a second, and retreated upstairs.

She disappeared from sight.

Sweetie Belle turned around, placing a hoof on the door as she leaned back out into the sun-kissed town. Looking to her left and right, she beckoned a hoof her way, whispering, "Coast is clear! Hurry up!" Holding the door open, she pressed herself against the wood as five ponies quickly scurried past her in a hushed silence. Walking inside at a jog, she watched as the group crept into the kitchen as one.

Looking left and right once more, Sweetie Belle trotted toward the entrance of the kitchen, poking her head in and watching her friends. Looking toward the cabinets, she found Delirious reaching up and opening one. His wings fluttering, he threw his hooves inside and began to scrummage through it. Biting her lip, she turned her head and listened for Rarity's arrival.

"Jesus Christ, who the hell doesn't have alcohol in their fucking house?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, striking a pose as she crossed her eyes, "Well, Ah'm just the most generous o' ponies! Ah can't possibly be carrying alcohol of all things! It's not lady-like!" She scrunched up her lips, struggling not to giggle. Sweetie, still standing in the doorway, was not impressed.

"You really think my sister talks like that." She spat it more like an answer to a question that was not even asked.

"Sweetie Belle!"

She turned her head, the rest of the kitchen's occupants stopping in their tracks as well. Sweat began to pour down her brow. "Uh, y-yeah sis?!"

"The sewing kit has been found!"

Sweetie Belle turned her head at the sound of Delirious cursing, "Oh shit." She waved a hoof toward the nearby window in a panic as Rarity continued, her voice getting more audible.

"I do hope you don't mind if I placed a few more materials in your bag, I couldn't possibly leave my designer sister with basic items! Now, off you go!" She called happily, stepping hoof on the landing and advancing toward her sister, "Would you like me to make you a quick lunch?" Rarity stood next to her, looking into the kitchen as she added, "and who were you talking to earlier? I swear, I heard somepony else in here..."

Sweetie thought quickly, "Sorry Rarity, just uh... trying out a disguise spell-"

"A disguise spell?" Rarity asked, walking into the room, her head still turned toward her sibling, "how have I not heard of this disguise spell? That would be remarkably useful, especially to Twilight- Sweetie Belle are you sure?"

Sweetie bit her lip softly, but nodded almost too quickly.

"Well, alright." The mare swept her head around the kitchen. "I suppose you want some lunch before you head back to your friends." She about-faced, walking toward a nearby cabinet. Reaching her hoof out, she opened it, stopped, and suddenly glanced back at her sister, "Wherever did you learn this spell?"

From Rarity's point of view, she could see her sister straighten up in the doorway innocently.

From Sweetie's point of view, all hell was about to break loose. Inside the cabinet Rarity had just opened, a blue Pegasus was inching away from the hoof still grasping the open door, his mask frowning at it and completely betraying his obvious panic. Rarity didn't notice him.

"Sweetie Belle, what would you like me to make for you? I suppose it shall be rather quick, seeing as how I know you have many adventures to pursue today. Would you like some Cheerilee-o's?" Slowly, she began to dip her head to look inside the open cabinet, "I believe there are some inside of here-"

"No!"

The mare's head snapped up. Turning left, she gave her sister an odd look.

"I mean, uh," she smiled awkwardly, "I'd... rather have some eggs if you don't mind."

Rarity grinned, lighting her horn and magicking the cabinet by her closed, engulfing the one next to her in a blue aura. Sweetie Belle sucked in her lips, watching as Apple Bloom gazed at her, wide-eyed and unblinking. Sweetie Belle's eyes darted up, watching as Rarity felt around for the frying pan with her magic. Humming, she began to mumble, "Now just where is that pan?"

Apple Bloom scrambled about, finding the required skillet and placing it in front of her body. Rarity, frustrated, looked inside at that exact moment, and found nothing but the saucepan staring her in the face. Rolling her eyes, she poked her head back out and levitated it next to her. "Ah! There it is!" Blue eyes glimpsing toward the doorway, she asked, "So! Scrambled or fried-"

"Actually, uh, sis?"

Rarity pursed her lips, "Yes Sweetie Belle?"

"I think I'm not hungry anymore."

The mare frowned. "Are you sure."

"Yes."

The two stared silently at each other in a suspicious stalemate. Sweetie Belle broke the silence.

"Don't you have some orders to fill out-"

"Oh! That's right! Thank you Sweetie Belle," Rarity sang, face brightening, "Alright, I'll be seeing you in a couple of hours." Turning tail, she began to walk out and approach the staircase, but stopped on the landing as she glanced back at her sister. Sweetie gave her a side glance, uncomfortable. Rarity, despite, smiled and retreated upstairs.

Left in the kitchen, Sweetie Belle let out a long breath she didn't realize she was harboring prior. At the sound of her sighing, the cabinets and depositories in the kitchen swung outward, letting their unusual cargo slide out and onto the floor in a crumpled heap. As the Unicorn filly turned around to face her friends, Delirious scrambled to his hooves, breathing heavily.

"That was fuckin' bullshit, man..."

"Ah swear, Ah thought she woulda seen me then-"

"What you did was so awesome though, Bloom!" Scootaloo cheered as she walked over to the Pegasus mare next to her. Shaking her body, her completely intact cape rustled in the air. "Isn't that right, Rainbow Dash?"

The Pegasus grinned, tussling the filly's hair, "You're gosh-darned right, Scootaloo," she beamed, ignoring the small giggle behind her, "now let's find that booze and blow this popsicle stand."

"Already got it," Vanoss said, pulling a rather sizable bottle out of his stomach, "hard to believe your fancy-ass sister has a bottle of cider around here..."

"That's probably my, uh, Dad's," Sweetie Belle admitted with a clench on her lips.

"Well," Rainbow started, walking over to Vanoss with a grin, "he's got some pretty good taste." Snatching the bottle from Vanoss' hooves, Rainbow looked it over and gave a sly expression, looking at Vanoss, his eyes shaded by his aviators. "You sure this'll do?"

Vanoss pursed his lips, "Hmm, I'm not quite sure. I feel like... I feel like I was, I dunno, dropped on my head at an early age-"

"Shut up you big baby. Get over it."

"You do know we still feel pain when we die, right?"

"Doesn't really matter. Any kinda alcohol works," Delirious kindly answered, ignoring the two's fighting. "Now can we get the hell out of here? I don't think I'd wanna just be fuckin' jerkin' off when Rarity comes back down."

"Yeah, let's ditch," Rainbow said, tossing the bottle back to Vanoss and flaring her wings.

Nodding, the rest followed the mare as she trotted toward the nearby window, settling onto her hind hooves and beginning to open the sill. Sweetie Belle stepped forward, "What the hay are you doing? There's a front door, you know-"

"I know," Rainbow said, throwing the window open. Casting her sights behind her, she gave a giggle and grinned, "that's not the cool way, though."

Sweetie rolled her eyes as she watched the five scuttle out through the window, landing on the outside lawn. Casting a glance behind her, she made sure that Rarity was nowhere to be seen and joined them, the small bag of sewing materials lying forgotten on the floor.

Squirming through, she dropped to the grass below and landed, wiping her body from the dust of the windowsill. Looking back up, Sweetie gazed at the group, all currently busy congratulating each other and giving high-hooves. Walking up to them, Sweetie gave a sigh to no notice. Frowning, she held in her breath for a brief second, waited, and breathed out again. This caught the group's attention, and they turned to look at her oddly.

"You alright?" Scootaloo asked, brow raised.

"I'm fine, Scootaloo." Shuffling a little on the floor, Sweetie Belle looked up at Delirious, asking, "So what's with the bottle?"

He only grinned underneath the mask and said simply, "You'll see," pulling out a small cloth.

The six watched in utter silence, observing the scene before them.

Beyond them, the large tree burned brightly in the sunlight.

Nestled in the top branches was an equally large beehive, crisped and black thanks to the molotov cocktail currently in pieces by the darkened and burnt grass. The fire crackling loudly, the six continued to regard the tree. Suddenly, without a single warning, the branch holding the beehive collapsed, tumbling to the ground and smashing the hive in less than a second with a loud thump.

The timber continued to melt.

"Well that sure wasn't worth it," Sweetie Belle stated matter-of-factly, a blank expression on her face.

Delirious walked up calmly to the forestry, collecting the small object on the ground by the destroyed beehive. Raising it to eye level, he took a second to wipe the char off with a hoof, revealing the wooden and metal exterior of his hammer. Suddenly, a loud buzzing met his ears. As the other five backed off slightly, Delirious readied the weapon, holding it high and ready to strike the colony with a single word of anger.

Out of the crumpled mess came a single bee, buzzing in a high-pitched manner and derping in the air, right wing slightly off from its colony's impact with the forsaken ground. Turning right, it attempted to fly off toward a nearby patch of tulips to work for the day, seemingly unfazed by its home's destruction.

The bee then found its mission impossible, as its guts, skin, and entire body were crushed by the head of a hammer, flattening it in the side of the tree, spilling its innards and blood onto the yet untouched bark.

Delirious harumphed, wiping the hammer's head as he sneered, "Pesky bee."

"So, what's next?" Rainbow asked as he walked back to the others.

"Shit I dunno. Look for Applejack's cart, I guess-"

"Well, what were we doin' just now then?" Apple Bloom asked, brow raised, "time better spent lookin' fer the darned thing."

Vanoss grinned, chuckling, "Hey, I had my lunch break."

"We all did!" Apple Bloom shouted, throwing her hooves up in anger.

"Well, just because you're fat doesn't mean you're not the only one who's always hungry, Apple Bloom."

Apple Bloom growled, eyeing Scootaloo up furiously.

"Shut up, chicken."

"Hey you take that back-"

"Make me."

Rainbow Dash intervened, throwing her hooves out spread eagle as she hovered in the air, looking at the two as she pressed her hooves into their chests. She chuckled nervously, "Allllllright you two. Let's not go up into arms now." The two backed off without another word, continuing their glares, "'sides, we've still got a cart to find."

Apple Bloom growled down in her throat somewhere.

Delirious whistled at the impressing sound, giving a likewise look that would make a certain President paranoid about doppelgangers.

Hovering away, Rainbow watched for a second to assure that the two wouldn't go at it, and 180'd when she realized that they wouldn't. Scratching her head, she looked down at Ponyville from the large hilltop they were sitting on. Realizing how high they were, Rainbow let out a loud whistle, mimicking Delirious' as she fluttered toward the edge, looking out at the town she loved.

From where she was lingering, she could see the entire town, Celestia's sun still beating down on it with all its might and casting long shadows across backsides shunned by the celestial light. Smiling, she took a second to look at it before hearing a coughing behind her. Turning back, she found Vanoss, aviators over his eyes.

"What's up, Vanoss?" She asked, tucking her wings in and landing on the floor.

"Nothin'. I'm just fucking tired to be honest."

He joined her, looking at the town and taking it in as well.

"Damn..."

"What?" She asked, looking over.

"Damn good view."

Rainbow blushed, flailing a hoof as she chuckled, "Th-thanks-"

"I was talking about the town. You know, the town in front of us?"

Rainbow's face fell, "Oh. Whatever." Looking back at the sight, she gave a shrug and added, "Sure."

"Where the hell did you find this place anyway?" Leaning forward, Vanoss looked toward the admittedly steep slope of the hill, then came back and looked at Rainbow, "pretty big hill if you ask me."

"Eh. Not really a hill, but not really a mountain either. I saw my friend Noteworthy around here a year ago. Spent some long-ass time just being some Mopey Molly up here. Things are good for him, so I took it, and... well..." her voice trailed off as she turned, finding Delirious, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo playing with what appeared to be a large red rock. Deciding it was harmless, she looked at what was previously a tree and grimaced, "tree's kinda fucked... now..."

"Huh, didn't know you cussed."

"I don't like to do it around the Squirt. Bad influence and shit, y'know? Plus her mom would kill me if she came back and Scootaloo was swearing like a stallion."

"I'll have you know we men are very generous when it comes to cursing."

"Are you fuckin' serious man?! ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?!"

"Haha, eat my dirt Delirious!"

There was a very, very painful sounding bout of wheezing, and then he replied, whimpering.

"Oh... I hate dirt..."

Rainbow looked back at Vanoss, a sly grin on her face.

He only gave her a blank look, pulling his glasses back onto the top of his head. "Shut up."

"Don't tell me what to do," she snipped, looking back at the town.

All was calm as the two ponies watched the sun reach its peak point, settling over the top of the sky as it cast its bright glow directly onto the marketplace. Pointing a hoof, she watched Vanoss look in the corner of her eyes and said, "See there? That's why the market place is so popular. Sun's just perfect for everything, and ponies can even grow crops so they can sell 'em fresh out of the dirt- oh shit the marketplace." Looking back at the tree, she found Delirious about ready to take a small black part off his red rock. Throwing a hoof into her mouth, she whistled and beckoned him toward her, calling, "Delirious! Let's go!"

"Where the fuck we goin'?!"

Rainbow gave a smirk and pointed toward the sky. "Eagle eye."

Delirious gave her a confused look.

"We're finding that cart."

Delirious pumped a hoof in the air, flaring his wings, only stopping as an orange filly trotted up next to him happily, "Hey, can I come too?"

"I-"

"Squirt, I want you to stay here, alright?"

Her face fell, "Aww... okay... you sure, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow sucked on her teeth, but suddenly gave an Aha expression, the corners of her mouth rising, "Nah Squirt, I need you to stay here with Vanoss and Sweetie Belle."

Vanoss piped up, pointing a hoof to himself, "You're leaving me in charge of them?"

"No," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes, "I'm leaving them in charge of you."

The Earth Pony gave a blank look, sighing, "Fuck you."

"Never," she said, waving a hoof at Delirious, "c'mon now. Let's go find a cumulus. We'll get a good view from there."

He nodded, bringing his wings out and chuckling. Rainbow gave a quick salute to Scootaloo, then crouched low, grinned mischievously, and suddenly took off, kicking up a trail of dust and dirt in her wake. Looking back at the Pegasus filly, Delirious remarked, "Shit she's fast."

Scootaloo raised her eyebrows, giving him a look that basically screamed no shit dumbass.

Breathing in a breath of fresh air and expelling it, he looked up and took off as well, leaving the three behind on the lone hill to sit and think.

As the dust settled, Vanoss looked over to the two fillies and asked, "You guys know what fences can do?"

Up high, Rainbow Dash and Delirious landed upon a cloud, fluttering their wings and finally placing them by their sides. Walking over to the edge, Rainbow explained, "Well, I guess a strato-cumulus has gotta do. Alto-cumulus might be a bit too high for us to see the market..."

"Sure," Delirious spoke, not having a single ounce of cloud knowledge in his brain.

"You have no idea what I just said, did you."

Delirious giggled, "Fuck no."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, leaning toward him, "What kinda school did you go to? They teach Pegasi which cloud is which in, like, Kinderskyden."

"I didn't go to no horse school-"

She interrupted him with a hoof in the air. As he stopped, she lowered the appendage and let it drop back onto the cloud. Tilting her head, she looked to the sky above them and ordered, "Gimme your sniper thing."

"Why?"

She looked at him.

He had already gotten it out before she asked him.

The two had a stare-off, neither moving an inch almost four-thousand feet in the air. Suddenly, Delirious felt his nose crinkle. Looking at it, he shut his eyes, braced himself, and sneezed.

Rainbow lurched, grabbing the rifle from his hooves and pushing him back as he attempted to snatch it from her clutches. He stopped in his tracks as she brought it to eye level, cocking the bolt back and aiming it at him.

"Back off, D," she said, giving him a careful glance.

"You don't know how ta use that thing."

"Yeah, I-"

"You don't know how ta use that thing."

"Shut up-"

"You don't know how ta-"

FTT

"Fuck!" He yelled, falling onto the cloud as he gripped his flank. Looking up at her, he groaned, "Okay you know how to use that thing." Taking a minute to clench his wound, he was able to miss Rainbow Dash fumbling with the sniper rifle's bolt action, almost dropping it to the dirt thousands of feet below them. Scrambling with it, she was able to hold it in the same position she had it in earlier as Delirious looked back up at her, "you fuckin' shot me in the ass!"

"I did," Rainbow answered simply, turning the weapon over and glaring at the scope. Reaching for it, she moved it slightly from left to right to test its durability, hummed, and promptly tore it off, much to the chagrin of Delirious, who called for it.

"Noooooo!" He began to fake-cry, throwing his head onto the cloud, his voice now muffled, "my sniper scope.... it was my only friend and you killed it..."

"Get over it you big baby," Rainbow replied to the face-down stallion, turning tail and trotting to the edge of the cloud. Raising the scope to her right eye, she glared at the marketplace, her mind fully intent on finding the cart for real this time. Distracted by her mission, she didn't notice Delirious struggling to get up.

Attempting to get on his four hooves, the appendages shook, and he fell back to the floor. Glancing back at his flank, he saw the bullet wound still bleeding. Pouting his lower lip out, he reached for his crotch and pulled out an Egochaser, beginning to munch on it, face unchanged. Scarfing it down, he swallowed the mass, looked at the now-healing bullet wound, and got up, walking over to Rainbow Dash.

Giving a casual look, he peered over the edge and stared at the marketplace as well.

"See anythin'?"

"Nope. Not a thing," Rainbow answered, still glimpsing through the scope.

Delirious looked down at his stomach, reached toward his crotch, and found his marksman rifle. Aiming it, he joined Rainbow Dash in scoping out the town for Applejack's lost cart.

There was a short time before Delirious broke the odd silence with a question.

"....do you hear that shit?"

"Hear what?" Rainbow asked, lowering the scope and looking at him.

He glared, "Was that you? Stop makin' those fuckin' noises."

"What noises?"

"You're singing that stupid song that Vanoss sings. Did he teach you it?! Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not doing shit, Delirious."

"Well if you're not, then who..." his voice trailed off.

His eyes grew wide.

He lowered his marksman rifle and, if he were wearing pants, promptly shat his pants.

There, in the distance, it came.

"Badoop-a-doop banana bus! Badoop-a-doop banana bus!"

Delirious didn't need to look.

He didn't need to blink.

Only Rainbow Dash remained to be promptly frightened by the sound of a large object rushing past, directly behind them. Rainbow, mouth wide with fear, leaned over the strato-cumulus, watching as a large green and yellow bus plummeted toward Ponyville end-over-end, only a single occupant inside and sitting in the driver's seat.

A pink pig, with a white helmet strapped to his head.

"BADOOP-A-DOOP BANANA BUS!"

BOOM

The bus finally crashed into a grassy field below them, smoke, fire, dust and dirt flying everywhere around it, completely shrouding the vehicle in its flow.

Rainbow, mouth wide, slowly about-faced, looking at Delirious, who gave her a likewise expression.

Finally, Delirious spoke.

"Shit."

Author's Notes:

Well, after this "mega-chapter", I've decided to take a bit of a hiatus. I hope you all don't mind, I'm taking some time off to do something. My bio explains it; I'd rather not do it here. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed! I'll be back soon, I'll still get on from time to time to check comments out, but I won't be doing anything else! Thank you all for the support, and here's to our newest addition! Can't wait to see how he plays out!

Didn't expect that shit, didja?