“Howdy” Harrison said with his generic stupid smile. This was actually the first time I had seen him without his juggernaut suit on. Brown coloring and a black tail for a unicorn seemed pretty boring. Almost reminded me of Harrison’s skin type, him being Lesbian and all, Lesbians come from Lebanon right?

It’s not that I didn’t like Harrison, or he was trying to ruin our fun, he was just too stupid to function in a serious occasion. I’d happily have him hand out with us if we were just doing stupid stuff, but we were about to go on national television about a serious current event. What was he going to do that would add to the conversation? Drool and take a nap?

“You’re on guys” That guy said, I really should learn his name…

I gave him a nod and the 6 of us headed out, I quickly took the first seat there, Dan sat next to me. Ayan took the 4th seat, now Mike AND Nico had to sit next to him, derp.

“3”

Here we go

“2”

Better not fuck up now

“1”

Look at me now, im getting paper, look at me now, fresher than a mother fucker- wait dammit got to stay focused.

“Hello and we are live here in Canterlot with an interview with the 6 Stallions who defeated what is now called the ‘Las Pegas Behemoth”, hello gentlecolts how are you feeling today”

“Good” Everyone mumbled

“Fantastarino” Harrison said, I quickly muffled his stupidity with a loud cough.

“So I’m sure you guys have a lot to tell us so far, but I have one serious question first. How did you kill this monster?”

I gulped, how would we explain the helicopter?

“Well, they like, invented like a helicopter…then they like drove it into his mouth and it like died” Harrison said

“A helicopter? What is that?”

“It’s a machine that you can use to fly” Mike said, perfect answer. Not too vague, not too descriptive, perfect.

“Interesting, and who invented it?” The reporter asked

“I did” Harrison said

“That is pretty amazing, do you have blueprints you could show us?”

“No, I ate them” Harrison said, I slammed my head against the table.

“Hello Sunny Days with Pony News” A female reporter said “What were you doing in Las Pegas? Normal vacation?”

“Yea, we were just bored and said lets go to Las Pegas” Nico said

“Yea, but you like got attacked by ninjas and I chased a pedophile off like the train and yea” Harrison said

“Ninjas Harrison, what are you retard- I mean stupid?” I asked

“Yea stop being a fucking retard gay” Mike said. I guess he realized we were on National Television right now.

“BOTH OF YOU CHILL YOUR TITS!” Nico said

“Shut up Nico, go back to Brandy” Mike retorted

The crowd must of known that must have been the mother of all burns, because everyone began going “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“Okay guys everyone relax” Tyler said, finally talking

“Uhh yes please, yes I have a question. Where are you ponies from and we never actually got a name yet?” One pony asked. Shit, I swear to god I wish we could talk telepathically, because in 3 seconds when we all blurt out our answers we are going to look like idiots. I pray to God that we all say the same thing, we are all from Ponyville?

“Fillycolly”

“Canterlot

“Ponyville”

“Las Pegas”

“Marington”

“New Jersey guys”

Okay that could have gone better

“Manehattan you said, Mr.?”

“Nico” Nico responded, I guess we would just use our normal names since we are too stupid to remember our code names.

“I see, and what did you do there?”

“…I was a farmer”

“He was a manwhore” Mike said, Dan and I began laughing really hard

“Excuse me?” The reporter asked

“Sorry, he said he was a MANWHORE” Harrison said loudly. I couldn’t help but crack up.

“Harrison shut up” Nico said

“Come at me bro” Gayan said, Nico threw a stapler at Harrisons head, end of argument. That would shut him up for a little bit too.

“Okay… So how did you all meet?” Another reporter asked

“I knew these guys since like we went on this adventure” Harrison said

“What adventure, care to tell us?” The reporter asked

I have the feeling our entire story here will be summarized in a minute, by an idiot.

“Well we started like in Fillycolly, then they got kidnapped by some weird pony. Then I like shot her, then they shot me. Then they hijacked some guys steam car…thing I don’t even know. Then like I came in and chased after them and they killed me again. Then they blew up, then they blew up twice. Then a giant piece of metal crushed Vespi, then they met Whiskey Joe. Mike then was just like gay and locked the door to the house during like a huge storm and all of them were like just stuck in the barn. Then like Nico and the farmer’s daughter like made babies and everyone was trapped inside, then in the morning like Vespi almost got shot and everyone ran away. Then they like went to Marington and killed a bunch of beavers.

“Then like then went to Stalliongrad and like almost died there again, then someone nuked the place and they walked through the desert. Then like it got weird and they went on the train, then Mike almost got killed, and I chased after a pedobear. Then we went to Las Pegas, got in a huge fight and we then came here. So like YEA”

Everyone was quiet, now come to think of it that sounded like one hell of a journey, I should write a book about it.

“So…who do you think will take the flutterball pennant?”

“Snow Flakes” I said

And that was the interview in a nutshell

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