The inside of the train was beautiful, its walls were lined with stunning oak wood and the floor was made of stunning red carpet. I instantly realized why they called it the “1st Cart”. It would be highly illogical to make the entire train very elegant. The first cart must be the elegant cart on the elegant train. But wait…if this is the elegant cart on the elegant train, would that mean that “Cart 1” was twice as elegant? Or was I just being stupid? I was probably just stupid.

“Your rooms are numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6” Sugar Blossom said, pointing down a surprisingly open hallway with doors flanking either side.

“How many rooms are there?” I asked

“10 in all” Sugar Blossom replied “You guys all have your own rooms, I have my room at room 1, The Pie family has number 7, Commander Muttonchops has room 8, Lyra has room 9 and one Mr. O’Patrick in number 10.” Sugar Blossom said

“How do you know that?” Tyler questioned suspiciously, assuming she is a creeper or something far worse.

“Well I’m the co-conductor” Sugar Blossom said “I just got to get changed”

I swear to god I saw the “FUUUUUUUUUU” face on Tyler. Authority figures and Tyler failed to ever get along. Tyler was known to have no respected what so ever for adults.

Sugar Blossom excused herself and walked into what appeared to be a “Employees only” zone. From the quick second the door was open I could see the conductor lazily sitting down at the wheel.

“Who is there?” A small voice squeaked from the hallway, I looked down to see an almost elderly mare standing there. She was gray with a bush of green hair behind her head; on her face was a pair of reading glasses. Out from the door I

could see a second pony. This pony was a rough looking Amish pony with a rugged beard, it was clear he wasn’t too happy.

“O sorry, I thought you were someone else” She said “I thought you were somepony else” A sense of pure sadness

appeared on her face.

“Roxy can we please go back in the cart!?” The man asked “I don’t want a lot of people to know about this?”

“What do you mean KNOW ABOUT this Clyde?” Roxy questioned “OUR BABY IS MISSING!”

“How long has she been missing?” I asked, I didn’t want to get involved, but it wasn’t like me to turn my back on something like this.

“3 years now” Clyde responded “Our baby Pinkie Pie hasn’t been around for 3 years now” I turned to see Roxy beginning to cry.

“Why did she leave?” Mike asked

“Well I don’t really know…” Clyde said his voice ultimately turning on the defense “but I know it wasn’t because I molested her sister! I mean who would do something like that? Not me! Not my brother either!”

I turned around to see the mouths ajar

“…okay” Tyler said stifling his contagious laughter

“Hey mama have we found Pinkie Pie yet?” a small voice echoed from inside the car. Clyde put his hoof out to blockade the small filly but it was too late as she had already popped out her small gray face.

“Inkie Pie, we haven’t found your sister yet but we will I promise” Roxy said, beginning to cry again.

“Okay this isn’t what we need were kind of in a shit storm ourselves over hear” Mike said, using generic Italian hand signals (Even though I’m the only Italian one of the group).

“We’ll leave y’all alone now” Clyde said, slowly shifting back into the room, Roxy following suit.

“Well that was…odd” Nico said

“Yup” I said “Let’s check up on the other passengers.”

I knew that this could be labeled either “Friendliness” or “Trespassing” either way I slowly opened Room 9 to meet this “Lyra”.

Inside was just like your normal train room, a small red bed on one side, a nice pair of windows on the wall, and in the middle of the room a minty green unicorn slouching over a pile of books, vigorously reading.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked

“Studying” Lyra said, not moving a single facial feature, her eyes just staring at the wall not even acknowledging our existence

“What exactly?” I asked

“Humans” Lyra said

“Humans?” I asked

“Yes, I know they are real! They are real! I’ve seen them! They are real! There trying to take over Equestria, THEN THE WORLD! But im going to stop them, WHERE ARE U DAMN HUMANS!.”

We all looked at each other, okay let’s just not even bother with this one.

“Okay” I said

“Okay”

…

“We’ll get leaving now” I said, slowly closing the door behind us.

The second Lyra’s door gently closed Room 8 almost exploded. Instantly we were all down on the ground after a loud bang was heard. I looked up to see half the door missing.

“Come in!” An old Australian like voice cooed from inside the room.

I slowly walked towards the door; the second my face moved over the corner a second explosion ran right through the wall right by my cheek bone, that part of the wall was gone as well. I instantly sprawled out in the ground, waiting for a 2nd attack.

“Sorry”

I put my hoof out (This time being semi-smarter) this time another gunshot demolishing the wall behind me.

“Sorry, last shot mate” The voice said, I finally rushed in to see an old looking soldier nursing a musket.

“Sorry mate, can’t be too safe these days with all those zebras running about” he said, taking a moment to sip some whiskey from a flask “My name is Commander Muttonchops, ex-commander of the Equestrian Musketeer unit”

“Cool story bro” I said, absent mindedly looking around the room, Commander Muttonchops didn’t seem to mind defiling the room. There were myriad whiskey bottles perched on shelves and on the floor, and the room itself seemed to be in

general disarray.

“What the hell bro” Mike shouted form the hall way “Does that guy have a gun or something?”

“How do you know about me Brown Bess?” Commander Muttonchops threatened, his voice a hushed shout.

Mike finally came into the opening where the door once was “Yea you are probably going to need to repair this door and also you might-“

Commander Muttonchops with a sleight of hand loaded the musket with stunning haste and fired off a shot at Mike, narrowly missing his balls. Mike took off galloping (Get it cause he is a horse!) towards Cart 2.

“IM GOING TO GET YOU LIL WANKER!” Commander Muttonchops shouted, reloading his levitated musket and running after Mike.

“RUN MIKE RUN!” Dan shouted, chasing after Mike. The rest of the gang instantly followed.

I was in one of those “WTF MY FRIEND IS GOING TO GET SHOT BY A WANKER HUNTER1111 meh” moments but i chose to meet this Mr. O’Patrick , mainly because I really couldn’t care if mike was getting shot at..

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