The next thing I saw was a brick building. I turned my head to study my analysis; I was in a city, a large city at that. There were blocks upon blocks of impoverished looking apartments in all directions. The streets were dirty and shady; there were few ponies on the street at all. The area was what I expected for a slum, the world in some places always prospered, and in other places the world suffered. I almost instantly thought of Detroit, full of decaying manufacturing factories, devastated streets, and a sense of despair and depression like nowhere else.

I studied the sign to the brick building. It said “Saw Bone’s Doctorial Office” The D and O of doctorial were missing and barely noticeable only by a thin black outline. I had the feeling that the place had been robbed, but there was no sign of other damages, well it could be worse…we could be in Newark!

“I guess this is the place” Mike said “Let’s head in”

I took point and cautiously opened the door into the doctor’s office. It looked strikingly similar to the other doctor’s office; there was a grey lobby (Which at one point must have looked squeaky eggshell white) that was desolate, and a narrow hallway in the center. There was no receptionist and there was complete silence.

“Hello, is anyone here?” I asked; waiting for a response, but only hearing my echo.

That was when I noticed one room had a light on. It was obvious considering that most of the windows were boarded shut and the lights were off. I walked inside and saw a thing over by Conor. He had a scalpel in hand and was just about to cut into Conor’s flank.

“I WASN’T STEALING A KIDNEY!” The mysterious life form said, dropping the scalpel and turning to confront me.

“Okay…” I said “Is he okay doc?”

“Well Patches did what he could; I’ll send him to Canterlot where they have a real hospital. Give him 6 months and he will be back to normal. He has a serious condition called stucko pliotropilicouslsticalomitacalonic stufficom, or a coma.” Saw Bones said

“….The other doctor said the exact same thing…” I said

“Can we go to Canterlot too?” Mike asked, popping his white head into the room.

“Too expensive” He said tersely

The room seemed just as run down and bleak as the lobby and outside. Everything seemed dirty; there were no lollipops and smiles here, just a kidney stealing monster thing. This “Patches” seemed a lot like a pegasus; he had wings, but had shaggy hair. His body was brown and he had a white furred head with a once golden beak, he also had lethal looking talons instead of hooves.

“What’s the matter?” Mike asked, he must have noticed that this place was worse than Newark “Aren’t doctors supposed to have like customers?”

“Gryphons don’t live very long out here, we are treated like aliens here in Stalliongrad” Patches said, his once pugnacious face warped into a saddened state “We fought for the Equestrians and we are treated like dirt, life is funny sometimes.”

“What happened?” I asked, I hadn’t read about a war very lately, was this incriminating?

“You foal probably weren’t born yet” The Gryphon said “It was maybe 30 years ago that fighting occurred again at the Silver Fall outpost when the Equestrians took over the Iron Wing outpost and the surrounding area  on the other side of the waterfall. We were told that if we fought for the Equestrians we could live here in our own city here in Equestria. The Equestrians won but we never got what we were promised, we now live in a ghetto where we are discriminated against by the Equestrians.”

“Shit happens” Tyler said, whenever Tyler found a parental figure he had to piss it off.

“You’re not from around here are you?” Patches asked “Of course you’re not, your ponies in the middle of the Gryphon ghetto. AKA, you’re fucked. You better learn how to survive in here.” Patches said “Go out and find something to do, I’ll get this colt down to some smuggling buddies and get him to Canterlot Hospital”

“Nico make sure this guy doesn’t steal any kidneys okay?” Mike said, Nico gave a nod and stood by Conor.

“Fine” Patches said “Enjoy your stay in hell”

That was done with

We were back outside now; we seemed to have the day to ourselves all of a sudden. I also noticed that Ayan was….looking at me again through that damn juggernaut suit, hopefully he wouldn’t try and kill us again. Wait didn’t we specifically tell him NOT to follow us?

“Sup” Ayan said

“Harrison, get out” Mike said

“But why!!!!!!!” Ayan moaned “I helped you out”

“But your Harrison, you make serous things stupid” Tyler responded

“I doubt it” Ayan said, just then he fell onto the street and got hit by a speeding wagon, the wheel going like a saw right on Ayan’s neck, killing him. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!

“This is why we don’t let Harrison do serious stuff!” Dan said

“…Wait how’d he even get into Equestria?” I asked

There was an instant silence; we kind of forgot that he hadn’t come with us.

“Hey guys…” Dan said, attempting to change the conversation “Anyone notice that these Gryphon’s seem kind of violent?”

It would make sense, considering this place was worse than Newark

“Yea…” Mike said

“Could this be like…? Equestrian Russia?” Dan asked

It made sense; the Russians are put through shit and now hate everyone else! We found Equestrian Russians.

“But if we are ponies, and they are Gryphons and they are Russian like, how will we survive?” I asked

“We must blend in” Dan said “Observe”. He looked over at a hefty looking female Gryphon walking down the street. Dan flew up to her at lightning speed and kicked her square in the stomach, she spat out blood before dropping to the ground, clutching her stomach.

“FUCK YEA BOI! WE ARE AWESOME! FUCK COMMUNISM! WE ARE BETTER THEN ALL YOU BITCHES! FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY!” Dan screamed in a boisterous, obtrusive, volatile tone.

“My baby!” The Gryphon said before her head dropped onto the cement. She wasn’t fat, she was just like pregnant.

“Dan you are a fucking retard” Mike said “She wasn’t fat, she was pregnant”

There was an awkward silence

“So?” Dan asked

“You probably killed her!” Mike said

The awkward silence appeared again

“O”

“So what should we do now?” I asked

“Wait hang on, we are in a city!” Mike said, had he actually just realized that?

“Yea…” I said

“I’m going to go find the record company and get my first album” Mike said. Did he just expect to steal all of Lil Wayne and Eminem’s stuff just like that? Mike has never even rapped before!

“It isn’t that easy Mike” I said “You don’t even sing”

“Believe me, watch their faces” Mike said “Let’s go right now”

“You guys go” Dan said “Me and Tyler might go learn how to be Russian”

“Okay, good luck with that you Irishmen” Mike joked

“Fine…Jew” Dan said in a snide voice

We seldom brought race/religion into insults but when we did it usually got really nasty.

“Okay let’s go Mike, come on…” I said, trying to stop a Russian altercation

“Fine, fine, fine; when I get my first platinum you are going to be fucked!” Mike said

“Game on!” Dan said

While listening to this I couldn’t help but listen to Mike’s tone. I had the strange feeling he was actually going to go through on this; did he actually expect to be the rap Jesus just like that though? Either way it would be a hell of a ride.

“Vespi…” Mike said “I think that dude actually steals kidneys

My eyes grew to the size of saucers “But how?”

“Well I’m pretty sure Conor had two…”

Note to self, kidney stealers are bucking crazy

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