I am so bored...bored bored bored bored...did I mention I'm bored? I 'said' to myself. Man how long did I have to stay in stone? Bored bored bored...bah your probably bored of my rambling, my name is Daniel O'Doyle, and I'm a human from earth, and I would still be on earth had I not bought those DMC weapon models from that merchant guy at comic-con. It came with Ebony, Ivory, and Rebellion! For only 200$ by the way so yeah I couldn't help buying them. I regret a lot!

"...And here we are class The Canterlot Statue Garden!" said a cheery female voice that I recognized as Miss Cherilee...from My Little Pony with her class...in the statue gardens. LE GASP! It's a Return of Harmony! Oh yeah did I mention that I'm a hardcore brony. Even have a tattoo of Twilight Sparkle's cutiemark on my back. Oh man Terrence had a hissy fit when I showed him it oh I can't wait to tell him about...oh right I'm like a thousand years older than I was then probably outaged him, and my sis...well might as well escape anyway.

Hey Dissy a small group of foals is going in your direction. Three of them will cause a small bit of chaos setting you free. If you can please try, and free me as well. I 'asked' the stoned draconeques that sat on a pedistal next to mine.

Why of course Dante old buddy ol pal. My rock my... I cut him off.

Your not setting me free are you? should've known...freaking snake...dragon...pony...lion...eagle...thing. God I'm lonely...could really go for a hamburger right about now. Some pickles...ketchup...now I'm hungry. How much longer must I be stuck here? Seriously I haven't done anything...

crack

I noticed a few cracks growing on my petrified body. Yay I was escaping after all! Completely ignoring the three fillies that were arguing close by -already knowing what they were saying and in no need wanting to re hear it- I awaited for my freedom which I sadly say took a whole day in which I witnessed the chaos spread, stabilize (yes chaos can indeed stabilize. Yeah seemed odd to me as well), and get blasted away. All while I sat there watching the flakes of stone fall off my body, and onto the grass below.

When the last flake fell off it was mid afternoon, and I was jumping off my pedestal.

"DADDY IS HOME EQUESTRIA!!" I shouted as loud as I could in the Royal Canterlot Caps Lock. Yeah you probably think I'm retarded for shouting that out for the world to hear (literally considering how UNGODLY LOUD I was), but here's the thing. I wanted to be noticed!

So after shouting out the eardrums of any in a ten mile radius I sat down on my old pedestal fingering the handle of my sword Rebellion. The blood of Princess Celestia still preserved on the blade. I still couldn't feel the presence of the rest of my arsenal, and Ebony was missing from her holster. Yes I call my guns 'her', and 'she' rather than 'it'. They deserved the respect. I really needed to find Ebony, and the rest of my weapons. They were as close to family as my sister, and Clover...but that is for another day.

After about twenty minutes I heard the flapping of large wings "Took you long enough." I said standing up, and facing the two ponies I was ready to direct my rage at. "I waited one thousand FUCKING years for my revenge, and I'm gonna get it! You unjustly attacked me, and I plan to right that wrong! On guard!" I drew Rebellion, and looked to the regal white alicorn in golden armor.

"Silence thy tongue demon! Face thou punishment!" ordered a smaller indigo alicorn with a dark blue colored armor. She pointed her saber at me.

"To be fair I'm only half demon!" I corrected her spinning Rebellion, and with my free hand drew Ivory. The silvery pistol gleamed in the sunlight. "And I did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong."

Celestia levitated her Zwei(hander hoofer? I dunno it's really up to how you wanna say it) from her sheathe on her side "For assault on the crown of Equestria..."

I cut her off "Which was completely justified seeing as you attacked without provocation!"

"..., and are of demon blood. I am placing you under arrest." she said so sure of herself...oh I would enjoy removing that regal little head off...were the hell did that thought come from? I just want a little payback not full on murder! Maybe I have gone a bit loopy after 1000 years.

That second reason really made me mad though "Okay that was just racist!" I fired Ivory in between the two making them flinch, and rocketed forward. Using my distraction I was able to get up right in between them, and using Rebellion's pommel I K.Oed Luna with a quick smack to the side of the head. I then spun around making a gust of wind that sent Luna's unconsious form away from the battle. No matter how mad at them I am Luna is best princess, and I'd rather her get hurt less.

"So Sun Butt ready to rumble?" I taunted aiming Ivory at her when I noticed the little black pistol strapped to her side "Hey you found my other gun! I'd be happy if you handed it over, and we went our separate ways." It's true if I got Ebony I might be happy enough to forget my little revenge quest...maybe. Not my style to take revenge anyway...nah I want revenge, but I gotta find my arsenal first.

"I shall not 'hand over' your weapon Dante." she answered as her guards finally arrived.

"Too bad..." I holstered Ivory, and in a moment I grabbed Celestia by the horn and head butted her stunning her, and grabbing Ebony from the little strap on her side. MISSION ACOMPLISHED! "Cause I be stealin yo things!" I then ran away yelling 'whoop whoop whoop' at the top of my lungs...without using the royal Canterlot Caps Lock.

"GET HIM!" I heard Celly yell angrily.

When I had reached the city gates I was met with quite the sight. A whole battalion and a half worth of guards blocking my path to the train station. Not wanting to run into a wall of spears I skidded to a stop. The guards were shaking. Ah! Rookies this'll be fun.

"Hey freak!" shouted a brash tomboyish...oh god I know that voice. I turned to see a rainbow colored streak zipping at me...oh god "CATCH THIS!" Rainbow Dash yelled at me. I thought she had left already! Why the hell isn't she in Ponyville! Fuckfuckfuck...oh yeah I have guns!

I switched my guns to Non-lethal (yes they have that mode), and fired a volley of bullets that impacted the cone of energy. The volley was barely enough, but it did send Dash sprawling out of her rainboom. And not a single wound on that cyan coat of hers...other than a few bruises, but that is a problem for another day. So as RD moaned in pain I walked up to the guards switching my guns to leathal.

"If you don't back off I'll actually kill you for a change. Being non-deadly is getting very boring. So boring in fact I might break my only rule..." I pulled back Ebony's slide in a intimidating matter "...kill no ponies." I then aimed my gun at the lead guard...wow not surprising it's Shining armor.

"Just shut your trap monster!" He barked lowering his spear which I noticed something off about it. It had a blunted tip! Please tell me he just forgot to sharpen it, and Celly doesn't really send them out with disfunctional equipment. Cause that's not playing it safe that's just plain careless. "Now stand down, and face Equestrian law!" I fired, and suddenly I was hit with a memory from my past.

------1021 years ago------
"Yo Daniel you ready?" my friend Terrance asked knocking on my bathroom door.

"Yeah yeah hold your metiphorical horses." I called back placing my white wig on, and admiring my costume. I was going as Dante from Devil may cry to the comic-con that was taking place right in my home town! Can't remember it's name...fucking memory loss. Anyway I looked over my outfit. My red overcoat with the rolled up sleeves looked completely authentic, and so did the black dress shirt underneath it. I even kicked my foot admiring my combat boots, and black leather pants. "Aww yeah. I'm bitchen!"

"Yeah yeah your bitchen, but your about to be late! Come on!" Terrence urged me. Oh fuck I was going to be late! I quickly scooped up my phone, wallet, and keys before opening the door to see Terrance in all his Street Fighter Glory. Yes everyone he was dressed up as Ken from street fighter. He was a natural blonde so all we had to get was a red gi. "Bout damn time dude. Come on your beautiful little sister is in the car." yeah no surprise he was dating my baby sister. I'll admit at first it was weird, but I got over it. I took a look out the window and sure enough my sister in her Integra Hellsing costume was waiting impatiently at the wheel of her SUV.

Not sparing a moment me, and my friend dashed down the stairs to the front door, and jumped into the back of the SUV "ONWARDS!" I called to my sister who just rolled her eyes, and chuckled before pushing down on the gas peddle.

------The Present------
There was a cracking noise as the bullet I fired snapped off Shinings spear head "Man I just can't bring myself to harm you little guys can I? Well it's for the best I suppose..." don't want to actually become the monster they think I am. "Now will you let me pass?"

"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please with a..."
"I SAID NO SOL DAMNIT!" Shining shouted at me. I just frowned as I raised my empty hand..., and pimp slapped him into unconsciousness.

"To bad cause I'm getting outa here boyiiii!" I then made a running leap over the stratled guards just as five other mares, and Celestia showed themselves. The yellow one with the pink mane that just screamed 'Hug me' Fluttershy, the white unicorn with the stylish (sorry fabulous) purple mane...Blegh Rairity, the lavender unicorn with black hair that had a single hot pink stripe through it Ms. Bacon...I mean Twilight Sparkle, you already met Dash, and there was the pink demon herself Pinkie Pie, standing right next to a orange earth pony with a Stetson Applejack.

"Sup?" I called from the other side of the guards (who had promptly fainted once I landed on the other side of them, and onto the train platform).

"Dante if you don't stop now I WILL use the Elements on you!" Celestia said "Now stand down!"

"Uh there is a slight problem in your plan Celly" Told her remmebering a very important factoid about the elements "They can only be used on evil, and I...I'm not evil."

Celestia just scowled "Twilight!"

"On it princess! Alright girls into position!" Twilight called to her friends. They all stood on either side of Twilight confident expressions on their faces. "Let's do this!" Their elements began to glow. Oh I'll enjoy proving that I am indeed not some monster, and I will smile! They fired the rainbow colored...beam? Arch? Whatever, and Twilights eyes glew white as it sailed at me. I just smirked.

The beam impacted me enveloping my form. I felt a calm warm all over me, and just rolled my eyes as the beam dissipated, and I stood there unchanged "As I said" I drew Rebellion, and prepared to run "I'm not evil." Then I ran.

------In The Underworld------
On a throne of bones sat a pale humanoid being as tall as three men. As he munched on a bowl of evil souls he shivered.

"What's wrong my love?" asked a female of the same size, and skin tone with long jet black hair.
"I don't know" he said "but I have the feeling that an old nightmare of mine is coming to get me...oh dear lord Dante broke out hasn't he?"

His wife's eyes widened "Shall we go to the bunker?"
He nodded "Get the soldiers and get me the bunker keys!"