Ya know, this book is pretty amazing. I mean, apparently there's some sort of magic woven into it.

I mean, I tried reading the freaking thing, but all the pages turned out to be blank.... except for the first few pages. They went into detail about how this book could be used to obtain power if the person studied, or learn tricks if they just so willed it. But it also went into detail about its fail safe to avoid losing ownership or just in case someone else took it and tried to read it.

It honestly made sense why Vaga couldn't get any other copy than this one, now. Apparently, the tome became soulbound once the person's name was signed into it. It had a page, just saying 'This Compendium of Ultimate Knowledge Belongs to ____', right next to a blank page. I put my name in the 'Belongs to' thing, and while I wrote it, I felt as if I had been pricked on the arm. Meanwhile, the ink turned into my 'blood'. Also, the DM told me to add a last name, otherwise the magic wouldn't bind properly. He even gave me an idea for it. So, here's how it turned out:

This Compendium of Ultimate Knowledge Belongs to:

Dox Ad Finem

Right after I wrote that, the book flashed a bright light in my face. When I could see again, I noticed that the opposite page had writing on it. It was a table of contents for the rest of the book! It showed that there were THOUSANDS of pages. At the bottom of the tenth page of the table of contents, it said that the owner of the book had to think of what they were looking for, and the page they opened to would automatically be that page. Pretty handy if you didn't want to go looking on page 2633 for a basic fire spell. No joke, that was the first thing I looked up. The entire page just spoke about how to do it, how dangerous it was, and even how to max out the power of the basic spell. The next page had a more advanced one, and so on. Sadly, I accidentally cast one of the fire spells on the book, but nothing happened. Apparently, the cover of the book wasn't the only thing that was invincible. Vaga had really been nice, it was kind of more than I asked for.

Anyways, the next thing I did, logically, since I had looked at a common D&D thing, was look around for something that could be in the homebrew. And knowing people on the internet and other places, I knew just about anything could be in here. So, what did I look for, you ask? A dubstep gun like the one in Saints Row IV. Why? Because what's cooler than killing something with dubstep? Actually, don't answer that, I already know a few things.

But anyways, I opened the book, and there it was. A freaking dubstep gun. The even better part of it, was that it was the version that I had made up from when I played with my friends at school. It even took the same things: a crossbow or like weapon, aetherium, steel, and an artifact called the Rainbow Censor Bar. Why a censor bar? Because it was absolutely hilarious to make something like that into armor. Yeah, I said armor. It was meant to show that, the skimpier the armor, the better the armor. The only thing close to it was the normal censor bar, which couldn't be enchanted. The only difference was that the rainbow variant was one that was enchanted by using this special water that we all called 'Mainstream Water'. Hell, the book even said how to make those, and find the other pieces for the dubstep gun. What? I only let the players use it if they could find a Wub Wub gauge and a record with dubstep on it.

Did I forget to mention how much I love this book?

I fell asleep with the princesses cuddling me on the floor of the throne room. I woke up in the same place. Apparently, no one wanted to disturb the celestial deities that were cuddling a male, lest they be sent to a new planet far away from here.

The girls were the ones that woke me up. When they found the floor to be less than comfortable, they decided that it was enough rest for now, and woke me up. Let me tell you, best wake up call ever. I mean, they didn't try anything, but they were still naked.

We all had apparently slept through the rest of the day.... and that night. I mean, it was morning. What had woken the girls up was a knock on the throne room door from a snobby Blueblood. Heard he got sent flying back to his room by an angry Luna when he attempted to burst in.

Anyways, we were all now sitting at a table for breakfast. The princesses were clothed, Cadence and Shining had shown up, and eggs were being served with a big bowl of cereal. Celestia even got a muffin, and since I was sitting next to her at the foot of the table, I did too!

It was all going well until Blueblood decided to show his head, again. Let's just say he was less than happy to see some random person in the room with his aunts.

"Who is this ape, aunty?!" Blueblood accosted. "Why is he sitting at our table?! He doesn't belong in this room! He should be outside in the garden like the rest of your 'pets'! Aunty Luna, do something about this!"

"Blueblood, this is Dox," Luna said. "He is to be treated with the amount of respect you would give to me or my sister."

"But he's a filthy ape!" Blueblood whined. "He's a common animal! He doesn't deserve to be anywhere near me!"

"Blueblood," Celestia said. "You shouldn't be-"

"Shut up!" Blueblood interrupted. "You don't get to say what I can or can't do anymore! I know what you did, you bitch!"

"Wow, kid," I said. "Where's the respect?"

"It speaks!" Blueblood screamed. "Get this abomination away from me! Kill it if you have to!"

"Blueblood!" Luna yelled. "We don't treat-"

"Let me deal with him, Lulu," I interrupted. "Hey Blueballs. Pay attention."

"It's Blueblood, filthy ape," Blueblood said.

"I don't care," I said. "You want to disrespect me? Fine, go ahead. But you just insulted your elders. That's not okay, kid. Hell, I don't deserve to be in your presence? More like you don't deserve to be alive right now."

"How DARE you," Blueblood practically screamed. "I will have your head for that!" He then attempted to storm out of the room.

And he would have succeeded..... if I wasn't using magic to keep the doors locked. Telekinesis rules, did I ever mention that?

"Let me out!" Blueblood yelled. "I demand to be let out, NOW!"

"Yeah, no," I said. "Not until you've gotten proper punishment."

"And what would that be, peasant?" Blueblood mocked.

"A duel," I said. "Outside, after breakfast. I win, you pay your respects and apologize to Celestia and Luna, then join the guard to learn some respect. You win, I leave. Or better yet, I'll kill myself."

"Deal, welp," Blueblood said confidently. "I will be looking forward towards your loss."

"Yeah," I said. "Good luck to you, too."

Breakfast had come and gone. There was now a crowd out in the yard where the guard normally trained. Hell, even the guard, themselves had shown up. Apparently the DM wasn't kidding. There were mares and stallions alike here, all just standing in a circle around me and Blueblood, with Luna and Celestia observing from a balcony.

"Sirs," said a guard stallion carrying a rack of weapons. "Please choose your weapons."

Blueblood immediately picked up a shortsword, spending no time to show off his little tricks. When I was offered a weapon, I motioned for the stallion to stand down.

"I don't want one of your weapons," I said. "I have my own." I then pulled out my bastard sword, which still had its aetherium edge. The blade looked to be dulled for the first time I had ever seen it. No joke, for some reason, my sword normally just stayed sharp. Apparently it could sense my intentions and dulled itself. "I doubt I will have to use it, though." And with that, I tossed my sword to the ground.

Blueblood scoffed and said, "It'll only make your inevitable loss and death faster."

"Yeah," I said. "Again, good luck to you, too."

"OH!" Blueblood screamed.

That's when he made the first move. He thrust at me with his sword, I just moved to the side and slapped him as he went past. The crowd laughed at Blueblood's expense. This made him angrier, and as we all know, the angrier the opponent, the sloppier. He kept charging at me and slashing randomly in an attempt to hit me. Every time he'd miss, I'd give him another slap on the face and the crowd would laugh again. It was honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Seriously, it became a pattern up until the last minute. He'd keep doing his thing, receive a slap, and the crowd would laugh.

Although, the pattern didn't go on forever. Eventually, he got so mad that he started to swing his sword using magic. Not only that, though, he also managed to pick up my bastard sword and start swinging it at me with both hands. I continued to dodge, but just barely. He almost nicked me once with my sword, but I pulled a matrix on him and dodged it. The crowd just ate up the fight, what with me barely trying and Blueblood continuing to swing like an idiot.

I finally pushed him too far, though. At about the twentieth slap, he started cheating with his magic. He started to hold me in place with his magic, or he'd grab at my legs with it, or stuff like that. I had to start focusing more on escaping his magic than I had to focus on dodging his attacks. He got a few good nicks before I finally started getting angry, myself.

"Hey, Blue Balls," I said as the crowd started laughing. "How about you stop using your magic to cheat before I get any more angry."

"IT'S BLUEBLOOD, YOU FILTHY COMMONER!" screamed Blueblood. This time he grabbed all of me in his magic, holding me in place. "AND NOW YOU WILL DIE!" He swung my sword at my neck.

"Yeah, no," I said, my right arm breaking free of his magic and catching the sword. Man, I love Hyperion. Vaga might have been able to disable the security and safety protocols on my arm, but Blueblood sure as hell can't. "Now, remember what I said about being angry?" I ripped the sword from Blueblood's grasp, throwing it to the floor. I then aimed my arm at him and fired a blast of energy into him. He dropped his magical hold on me and was sent flying backwards. It took him a bit to recover, but in that time, I was upon him with my sword pointed at his neck, the tip of the blade resting just under his chin. "Now give up."

"NEVER!" Blueblood screamed, knocking my sword away, only for his sword to replace it.

"I told you, give up," I said. "I will not hesitate to use more force."

"I told you NEVER!" Blueblood screamed, blasting me with magic. "I would rather die than be humiliated by a peasant like you!"

"Have it your way, then," I said. I used flash step to get right into his face and grabbed him by his shirt. "But I don't like killing for no reason." I lifted him up into the air and threw him into a wall, only to send his sword after him. It ended up pinning him to the wall by his shirt. There he hung, just humiliated.

I gave the crowd a bow before saying, "And that, ladies and gentlecolts, is how you teach a prideful fool a lesson." The crowd erupted into applause.

It was right after that that everything went black.

To the crowd, it appeared that Dox had simply erupted into shadow stuff and teleported away off to who knows where. In reality, the DM had taken him away and into the void temporarily for a small chat.

“What the heck?” I said, realising my sudden change of scenery. “Why am I in the void?”

Because I wanted to talk to you, the DM said. It’s time you start helping out. You’re meant to help out either the players, or me. Currently, there’s a couple of beings that are on the wrong side of the multiverse. Because of what’s happened to them, they don’t belong where they are anymore. You are going to bring them back, now.

“And why are you telling me this?” I asked the DM.

Because it’s a pain in the ass to either put you in a new body or make a new champion from scratch, the DM said. I’ve started to like you, kid. If only for the fact that you have been able to put up with my shit. I’m giving you an actual job because things have been spiralling out of my control as of late. I’ve lost my hold on the worlds, and I need you right now to manage the worlds while I help the being known as reality to keep all of the multiverse in tact.

“And why are you doing it instead of one of the elder gods, or an admin?” I asked.

The only reason why I’m doing it, is because the ascended elder gods can be lazy, and I was born for this task, the DM explained. I am meant to make it so that beings like Auric Fulcrum and the admins don’t have to keep extremely close tabs on the multiverse to keep it from fading into nothingness. No, they only have to worry about anomalies or corruption or things like that.

“Wow, how noble of you,” I said sarcastically. “So, can I get my job now or what?”

Ya know, being a dick to a dick isn’t a good idea, the DM said. Especially since it was me that gave your arm that AI.

“Wait, that was you?!” I asked surprisedly.

Technically, the DM said. F.A.U.S.T. didn’t mean for one of her ‘children’ to be an arm. No, at best, she would have given it a passive AI, like a simple loader. I altered it by making it slap you, although I did accidently leave a bit of my essence in the soul, making it complex. Hell, she’s technically your half-sister. Why do you think she gave you that upgrade when she gave you the mark? She wanted her child to have a body and not be restricted to that arm of yours. Speaking of her, I sent her ahead for you. She got sent to look for the ones I want you to bring back.

“Yeah,” I said. “Thank you, big guy.”

Shut up and get to your job, the DM said. And good luck, kid. You’ll need it.

And with that, everything was black again.

Author's Notes:

So, guys. Something was brought up in the comments recently. That thing is the DM's behavior. Yes, he's a dick. But can you blame him? The only rule he has to follow is keep a balance between life and death, and he does that really well. That, and he's supposed to help manage the multiverse. Meanwhile, he can do whatever the FUCK he wants. So, can you really blame him for being a troll? Especially to Dox, who's essentially his whipping boy. Also, for those of you who thinks he has an alignment, the DM I mean, he has none, yet is all of them. So yeah.

In other news, my birthday is coming up this Thursday, April 9th! Yay! No, I will not tell you how old mod is!
Anyways, this is Music Mod, signing off.

Edit: Fixed a problem. Forgot to turn something rainbow colored, and also clicked a button on accident. XD