Author's Notes:

So guys, just to say quickly, this is a crossover with GameJunkie7 and his story Hello, Stranger....
And just a warning, it's lewd in a bunch of areas. Very lewd. There's a reason that this story was marked up to Mature a while ago.

Anyways, have fun reading. This is Music Mod, signing off.

I was barely able to escape the Pie sisters.

….. They weren’t the only ones, though.

All throughout the castle, if there was a mare, they were after either me, or a stallion. The worst part of it was that I couldn’t find a single stallion to get them to stop and chase after instead of me. Where had all the freaking guards gone?!

Well, I got that answer. One of them just disappeared into a room, and I heard them lock it. Gosh darn it, DM. What did you do?

Long story short, the DM said. I turned everyone anthro and unleashed an essential rape bomb or pheromones into the atmosphere to even out their pheromones for their new bodies.

…. Damn it, DM.

Welp, if I’m going to escape getting raped, I’m gonna need help….. And I left all the tokens back in the Everfree…. FUCKING DAMN IT!

At least the balcony is right there. Just let me get the spell prepared… And let’s go!

“GERONIMO!” I yelled as I jumped off and glided towards the Everfree Castle.

I swear, I need a better and faster way to get around. I was followed on my way to the ancient castle ruins. Just a few female guards…. And Luna…. Freaking Luna. She was almost just like Celestia was when she was anthro. Except, instead of being freaking 6’ 6”, she was a more modest 5’ 8”. That, and instead of having the gigantic bosom of Celestia, hers were, I think, an above average E or F cup, but nowhere near Celestia. Dat ass tho…. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO SEXY?!! Now I’m running away from a super Brazilian bikini-model Luna with a freaking hardon!

The good part of this is that I was able to evade them during my mad escape to get to the tokens, where found I had a new one for Alex, and even lost the female guards in the process! The bad part of it all, was that WHEN I lost the guards, I lost sight of Luna…. She was waiting for me in the room where the tokens were, laying amongst them on her side facing the door, with a demure smile, twirling some of her ethereal mane in a finger as she licked her lips, her wide hips sticking into the air like a small mountain among the trinkets. Damn it, sexy Luna. Why do you have to know my moves?

I was able to bolt towards her and grab a token before spinning around and, running as fast as I could, managed to use it on the way. Which token, you might ask? Avarice’s token. I managed to spark it on the wall as I ran. I just needed to say the words to summon him, and then I’d be golden.

“AVARICE!” I yelled as I ran from the Lusty Luna. “I need your help buddy! Now, PLEASE HELP SAVE MY ASS!” I then ducked into a corner, watching as Luna flew past, unintentionally giving me a look at her royal goods, which was REALLY hard to ignore, and then threw the token onto the ground.

And perfect timing on it, because right when it hit the floor, a blue flaming portal opened up, and dumped out…. sentient clothing…. What the hell?

I mean, that’s Avarice’s gear…. But where is Avarice? How is Vagabond here alone?!

“Vagabond?” I asked surprisedly. “Where’s Avarice? And how the hell are you standing on your own?! AND WHY ARE YOU SO GOD DAMNED BIG?! I want answers!”

“I HEAR YOU!” Screamed a desperately horny Luna. Well shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have screamed that loud….

Vagabond was currently 14 feet tall, easily dwarfing Dox twice over, and had red shimmering “mirage” ether extending from his back and between his coattails in the shape of dragon wings and a long dragon tail. He pretended to snap his fingers, and lean back before aiming two “gun hands” at Dox in a stupid “Ey~” pose, just as Luna rounded the corner. She was about to pounce on me while I was stunned, only for her to suddenly vanish. Like, instantly. into thin air!

“.... What.” I said. “What the absolute crap.” Before I could properly react, suddenly the giant black leather outfit was plopped on the floor next to me, leaning into my side with a massive arm...sleeve? Sleeve, wrapped around my shoulder. “What are you doing?....”

“Nothing much.” My eyes widened in incomprehensible terror at the almost unknowable voice. It was every tone, every scale of the audible kind available and then some. It was a rasp, a whisper, a shout, and a scream all in one. It was as if a child, a woman, a man, and a dying animal all spoke together. It made my skin crawl. I nearly shit my pants out of terror. I did, however, piss them, only for them to become dry an instant later. So, apparently, Hyperion did something other than just repair my hoodie. “Oh, suck it up godling.”

Then he stabbed me. With a hyper-futuristic syringe in the shoulder which instantly drew rainbow ‘blood’. I screamed in pain for an instant before he was suddenly not on me, and leaning against the wall across from me, shaking the syringe as he seemed to examine it idly.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” I screamed. “Why did you do that?! And before I forget, where’d you send Luna?” I got my answer when Luna’s luscious and sexy bubble-butt was thrust right into my face, marehood first, before her rear was suddenly gone again, leaving me stunned stupid, and really, REALLY wanting some of that when she WASN’T all hopped up on pheromones.

“Someplace.” Vagabond then...WHEN WERE WE IN A DESERT?! “Like we are now. Everything is relative, little godling. You’ll learn this with time.”

“Alright, why do you keep calling me Godling?” I asked. “And what is up with you?”His response was a peal of shifting laughter, which sounded between screeching nails on a chalkboard to a demure titter would’ve made me piss myself again if I hadn’t already done so earlier. What was it with Avarice and now this Jerkoff that made me soil myself? Why are we friends again?

“So, the little Dice Roller didn’t tell you? Not surprising. The little idiot is a terrible father.” Vagabond commented idly as he seemed to focus more on the vial he removed from the futuristic syringe.

“WHAT?!” I screamed. “He’s my father?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

You little troll, Vaga, the DM said. You had to say it. I was hoping he’d be smart enough to figure it out himself. I mean, he’s made of my essence, for crying out loud.

“Not my fault your progeny is of average intelligence, playing in the realm of immortals and gods. He’ll grow out of it eventually though. They all do.” Vagabond, or is it just Vaga? Said as he then carelessly tossed me the vial of my blood. “The only reason you can even comprehend my Supernal without your mind melting is because you’ve already ascended into the realms of demigods.”

“... What… The…. Crap…” I said. “No seriously, what the crap. I have that much power?! Since when?!”

“Um, since, ever? You had it the moment DM created you some couple hundred years ago. You just had to have it brought out. WHY do you think The Merchant even had the patience to deal with you, lollygagging about his wares like you did? He and DM had a deal-.”

HE DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT! NOR SHOULD HE KNOW! the DM yelled.

“Hold up, let me get this straight,” I said, massaging my temples. “The big guy made me two hundred years ago, even though I only know of freaking eighteen years of my existence, and then made a deal with the merchant to send me here. What the absolute hell?! I swear, this keeps going, you two are gonna give me a freaking migraine.”

“Good. Get used to it. Soon the pain will fade, and only annoyance will remain. It’s best you know now, rather than later. DM has a terrible sense of timing, no respect for others, pfft, I’m an Elder God of Chaos and I have more respect for the boundaries of others. Your dad’s a dick, kid. Welcome to Olympus, Percy Jackson. There’s your dad. He’s an ass even though he’s more involved in your life than all the other gods are with their kids yatta-yatta blah, blah, blah, gibberish and gobldygook.” Vaga rambled with absolutely no respect at all for either me or my now apparent dad...what a dick.

“Oi,” I said, rubbing my temples, again. All this gave me one bad headache. Well, at least it’s not a migraine. AND NOW WE’RE ON THE MOON. And there’s that migraine. Freaking elder gods. Oh god...there she is. WHY is Luna here?! And...why is she dressed so classy? I mean...wow...she’s in a silvery, shimmering one-piece dress that hugged all her curves sensuously and stylishly and also had an off-side skirt that just flowed in a nonexistent breeze like her hair...my gosh….

“Dox?” she said. “It is you!” And now she’s running towards me….. again. Welp, there goes her class. Or...not? She stopped in front of me, and seemed to blink in confusion. “What...Dox, what happened? I felt so fuzzy earlier….”

“Welcome home Lunar Goddess. Here, DM’s little pheromone bomb isn’t present, nor can it be here with my interference. And unlike his required indirect methods, I have properly adjusted your mind to your new body. So, now, if you two decide to get frisky, it’ll be completely consensual. Oh, and like the dress? Nabbed it from the abandoned planet of Morag in one of the countless Marvel universes.” Vaga said as he floated overhead as if swimming the backstroke, his tail only brushed Luna, but she shuddered with a look of fear plastered over her beautiful face.

You do know that once she’s returned to the planet’s surface, she’ll be under effects of the pheromones again, right? DM said.

“You also know Luna can return herself and Dox to Equus whenever she pleases correct? So unless you go out of your way to cause Dox trouble, you have no reason to spoil what these two have starting. I also trust you’ve given the same treatment to all the other sentient races of Equus? For ‘balancing issues’ I’m sure.” Vaga snidely commented, hugging both the still scared Luna and the slowly recovering Dox together.

Of course, why wouldn’t I? the DM commented. I’ve released pheromones into the entire atmosphere. Sadly, they won’t settle until later tonight. But I was able to use them to reset the heat period. I’m amazed Luna is still able to control herself. Maybe I released too many pheromones….

“Typical DM. Always overkill, never ‘just right’. Oh well, just means you two can have plenty of time to get to know each other. In any way you want. Bet you didn’t imagine having a picnic on your moon so soon, hm Luna darling?” Vaga asked as suddenly we were all seated on a cheesy classic red and white plaid blanket with several picnic baskets around us, and Vaga shoving a giant sub sandwich under his dragon snout-shaped bandana, disappearing without any slowing of motion. “Mm...free abandoned food from rain-interrupted picnics.”

“Well…” Luna said, blushing profusely. “A picnic would be nice before anything else….”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said. “Wait, anything else?” And with that, Luna glomped me. Eh, it’s just a hug. Well, it’s better than getting raped. I draped my arm over her shoulder in return. Aw, and now she’s blushing more! She then nuzzled me a bit before we broke off from the hug, smiling at each other, but when we turned to look at the Elder God that bothered to set this up, in his place was a Looney Toons Acme sign that said Be Back In The Morning Lovebirds and behind that was a luxurious bed, that was clearly either Luna’s actual bed, or one that was abandoned by another Luna in the Multiverse. Wow, he said he had more respect than the DM…. Well, at least he left us with privacy. But where the hell did he go? He can’t really leave the universe….

Meanwhile, in the capital city of Neighpon:

“AH~! IS GOZIRA~!” A suspiciously familiar stallion who looked very much like Renkinjutsu screamed while pointing upwards as Vaga appeared from the sea shaped as if being worn by a giant dragon.

*GOZIRA ROAR* Came the keening screech of an abandoned Gozira from a dead timeline before it began rampaging, somehow killing nobody. ‘I love my job sometimes.’

Meanwhile, back with Luna and Dox…. who are on the moon:

The picnic was done in a few hours, what with us being playful with each other. Man, it’s really fun hanging with Luna when she’s not either trying to seduce me or rape me. And to think, it’s still heat season for her, it’s kinda shocking that she’s still acting so well. Last time I had to deal with a heat cycle, I had to run for my freaking life so I wouldn’t get killed by mares…. Then again, to each world their own differences.

“So, Dox,” Luna said. “As much as I would love for you to admire my night, aren’t you tired?”

“Eh, I can stay up a bit longer,” I said. “It’s not like I mind.”

“Well, since you’re staying up,” she said…. She’s blushing more. What does she want? And now she’s whipped my in the face with her tail! What the heck!

“What the heck?” I said. “Why’d you whip me?”

Her expression went blank for a second before suddenly becoming surprised. “You…. you don’t know?”

“Know what?” I asked. “Is it supposed to mean something?”

“Well, yeah!” Luna said. “It’s a sign that I’m interested. I assumed that you knew. It’s just like how leaving a feather is a sign of love. Or curling a wing around someone…. Or even simple nuzzles.”

“Oh….. OH,” I said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“No, no….” she said. “I had assumed incorrectly. It’s okay, you don’t have to-”

With that, I silenced her with a kiss. I mean, I was already getting a little close to her, and this just sort of solidified it. She hummed in content as we leaned into it, deepening it until we broke off, me smiling as I looked her in her sparkling silver-blue eyes.

“It’s alright, Luna,” I said. “If you’re willing, then I guess I am, too.”

She got really excited at that and tackled me. She hugged me for a little longer before throwing me onto the bed and undressing me with her magic as she stood at the foot of the bed. Well, I know how my night is gonna go. “I am more than willing Dox dear. Do not think of me as a Princess, do not think me special. Tonight.” Luna stepped up to the bed, and elegantly shed her dress in one move, really getting me excited. “I am just Luna.”

Meanwhile, somewhere in Hockland.

“ACH~! IT BE SEONAIDH~!” A frantic minotaur bull wearing a green plaid kilt shouted as Vaga rose from the sea as a giant mass of a gloriously shapely female water deity of sorts. “SHE HAS COME TO ABDUCT ALL US MALES FOR HER PLEASURE SINCE WE FORGOT THE ANNUAL ALE TRIBUTE!”

He and his fellow bulls all paused in realization as the demi-goddess swept her body across the land, sweeping away all the suddenly excited males while leaving distraught and worried mates and females in general as the demi-goddess cooed in anticipation. ‘You’re welcome Seo.’

Meanwhile, back on the moon:

Wow. We just spent several hours, just doing it. What the hell.

I’m tired as hell, she’s asleep. And I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have had that much stamina. I mean, seriously, we went at it fucking 10 times! How the hell did we manage that?!

Well, might as well get some sleep, I sure as hell need it after that performance. I hugged my contently sleeping mare to my chest, kissing her horn before nestling into the pillow.

Meanwhile, in Space Neighpon.

“AH~! IS SPACE GOZIRA~!” Screamed a Space Pony suspiciously akin to both the random Neighponese stallion and Renkinjutsu whilst wearing a Scouter and World Trade Organization armor. “KILL IT ONCE AND FOR ALL~!” He screamed before aiming a palm at it and firing yellow Ki blasts alongside thousands of hovering wingless Space Ponies all in the same armor and scouters.

“IN THE NAME OF LORD FREEZER~! DIE YOU EVIL BEAST!” Screamed a Space Alicorn mare with suspiciously spiky black plumage. “I; PRINCESS VEGEETA SHALL NOT FAIL MY PEOPLE!”

*GOZIRA SCREECH OF PAIN* ‘Sorry big fella, Chaos needed sewn here this day to spare tragedy.’

Back with the lovers:

Eight hours later and it’s wakeup time.

Man, you wouldn’t have believed my dreams, even if I told you them. I slept next to a goddess who can manipulate dreams, that, and I had sex with her last night, so yeah. Go ahead and think about that.

“Mmm...good morning my mate.” Luna cooed as she leaned up and kissed me tenderly. “Did you enjoy our dreams as much as our coitus?” Luna asked as she smiled slyly, eyes half-lidded and running her hands down my torso. Whoa...getting a bit low there.

“Of course, Luna,” I said. “I’ll always love it, just so long as you’re there.”

Luna beamed as her wings flared behind her, and she pounced me into a deep kiss. “Ahem.” We both broke apart suddenly and looked to see a floating Vaga laying sideways in the air. “Do I seriously need to give you two MORE time?”

I pulled the sheet up higher in surprise. “What the hell?! No, you don’t need to give us more time,” I said, Luna pouting in disappointment as she didn’t even bother to try covering her breasts, not being used to any sort of human sorts of decency.

“Oh~, why did you have to interrupt? I wanted morning snog….” Luna pouted a bit deeper. Oh gosh she was adorable!

“Sorry Lulu, but I can’t stay here much longer. Time difference between universes may ultimately be completely negatable, but I don’t want to linger for too long. I can stay as long as necessary, but you have a kingdom to sort out, and YOU.” Vaga pointed to a suddenly clothed Dox, who balked at his clothes being returned so suddenly, and Luna blinked before looking down to see she had her dress back on. “Have things to sort out as well. Chaos is all well and good, but I’ve spread the Chaos this universe needs for some balance already, and the locals need to get started on their own brands of madness.”

Suddenly, we were no longer on Luna’s pearly orb, and instead were in Canterlot Castle’s throne room. Luna blinked at realizing where she was; seated on the throne which...was now black and gothic rather than gold and elegant. Celestia was also there in a golden sun-themed dress alike to Luna’s own, blinking in confusion, and we were all especially shocked when she spread BOTH her wings out. “W-what?! I-I was in the hospital…. in shackles, how did I-?”

Tia was stopped by two massive leather glove claws reaching down and around her to cup her massive breasts, making us all blush. “Got ya by the tit.” Vaga said with Avarice’s voice, making Tia blush even more at remembering being fondled by an alien appendage while she was possessed, and she began breathing a bit heavier when he began kneading her as she leaned back into him. “Heh, heh. Every incarnation. Every time. Always a boob mare.”

“Wow, first Avarice, now you,” I said. “Why are BOTH of you like this? WHY?!”

“Like Elder, like Younger.” Vaga replied simply, before moving away as Tia moaned, being held up by her nipples through her dress as his glove hands LITERALLY stopped being attached to his sleeves, and kept her going as he moved away while they lowered her to the floor and kept molesting her while he approached in a slow, measured pace that put both me and Luna on edge.

“Thou art aware that she is in heat, are you not?” Luna asked. “The more you do that, the more she’s going to be agitated.”

“Of course, and HE, is going to be helping her come to terms with what she’s done, what she thinks, feels, and all the jumbled mess she is from all of this insanity that is this whole hogwash prophecy. By fucking her brains out. It’s the easiest way to settle things. She’ll be able to accept things as they are if she finds herself at all...enamored with Dox. You two end up usually sharing in most dimensions anyway.” Vaga explained, making Luna blush, remembering some of her incestuous thoughts of her sister.

“.... NOPE!” I said, letting go of Luna and attempting to run out of the door, only to find it locked…. from the outside? WHAT DOOR DOES THAT?! “The hell?! Why can’t I get out?!”

I twitched when Celestia squealed in what was clearly her getting off, on BREAST PLAY?! “OH~! YES! THESE THINGS ARE GLORIOUS!”

“I can’t speak among mortals without killing them. So, to ensure that I don’t accidentally kill anyone, and that you man up and resolve this extremely serious issue as quickly as possible, and help Tia stabilize by letting her ravish you. There’s no escaping this Dox. Besides, it’s good for you too. It’ll get you to stop hating her for something not her fault, and possibly see the mare beneath the crown. Toodles.” Vaga vanished, his detached hands along with him, and the gasping and panting mare with a great flushed face bolted upright, her heaving boulders of breast flesh bouncing as her hungry eyes locked onto the only viable male in the room.

I am SO literally fucked...DAMN YOU VAGA!

“RUNNING!” I yelled before running around the room in a futile attempt to get away. The doors were all locked, the windows were all turned invincible for some reason, hell, even the freaking walls, floor, and ceiling were all invincible, too. Who the hell did Vaga expect to come in?.... Oh wait, he was expecting me to attempt to leave. Well then, maybe my sword…… SON OF A BITCH, HE TOOK MY STUFF! Maybe I can EMP her………. AND HE DISABLED MY ARM’S DEFENCE FUNCTIONS?! HOW THE FUCK IS HE EVEN ABLE TO DO THIS SHIT?!

Well, at least I already had my joy, might as well accept it.

I just stood there, arms outstretched, waiting for my inevitable fate. Hoping maybe that Luna would help me, but no, she’s...she’s…. Making out with her sister on her throne...holy hell that’s fucking hot!.... And they just noticed me….. And now they’re lunging….. Well, better say goodbye to my pelvis now. “Goodbye Pelvis, I will miss you.”

They went at it all day and night with me. ALL FUCKING DAY AND NIGHT! I even passed out after the thirtieth time! I only know they’ve been doing it that long because I just woke up and they’re STILL going. How do they have this much stamina?! And how did they manage to keep me from going limp?!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Damn it DM….. Actually, no. Not this time. No, this time it’s Fuck you to HELL and back, DM. Literally. Go eat shit and DIE, DM.

Yeah, and then who’ll keep this universe, and all of reality, together? The DM said. Well, when he’s right, he’s right.

“Oh, get over yourself DM. Any of us Elder Gods could do your job, we’re just more content with being voyeurs of all existence in this Multiverse rather than get involved...well, most of us. Me not being included.” Vaga stated, and I had to look around Celestia’s butt that was sitting on my face to see him off to the side, not even at all affected by the three-way in front of him.

Need I remind you, Vaga, that my being is tied to ALL of existence? I am more powerful than all of you combined.

Vaga’s unreal voice exploded in a mind-numbing cackle, getting the kissing and gyrating sisters over me to pause and come a bit to their senses. “And once again! YOU forget that we have ASCENDED beyond you! We are not bound by the constraints of reality unlike you! Need I call one of our even bigger brothers? Ahem...HASTUR, HASTUR, HASTUR!”

Uh, uh, uh. I don’t want multiple elder gods in the room, the DM said. I’d rather have this universe’s inhabitants alive right now. Dox may be able to handle it, but the others in the room, besides You and him aren’t ready for that.

Oh DM, it was just a jest. While I would’ve liked to pay a visit, he’s right Vaga, don’t try and get those hot little things killed, y’hear? Now if you don’t mind, me and Slendy are at a concert in another existence. Totally cool new god here invited us to visit whenever, but this world’s sisters only let us visit for crazy shit like this. Later little bro.

The sisters had promptly passed out on top of me the moment the mind-hurting voice of whom must have been Hastur himself echoed through the room. I was glad for that, but I hoped they were okay. Huh...Vaga was right, I don’t begrudge Celestia anymore...must’ve worked out my frustration already.

“Ya know, thanks Vaga,” I said. “I mean, you totally just broke my mind, but hey, you helped out…. But I honestly called to get away from everyone. My question to you is, what happens when you leave? All the males in this castle sealed themselves away in a vault of sorts, hidden somewhere. Meanwhile, all the ladies are looking for a mate. I smell of arousal and happy time for mares. What the hell is gonna happen with all the sex crazed mares out there?!”

“Remember how Luna was up on the moon? That’s how all the mares are right now. The pheromones are gone, but they’re still in heat. They’ll be able to restrain themselves so long as you don’t entice them. As for getting yourself clean...well, that’s up to you three. This has to blow over as it normally does, I’ve already kicked off the latent Chaos that needed doing. So, whenever you’re ready, just send me on my way. I have my own little Godling to see after.” Vaga stated as he removed his hood and bandana, the wavering red aura that was his body aside from his possessed clothes turned into a black dragon’s head that I could only assume was the form Avarice gained from eating Leere back then.

“Yeah, just let me ask you to do something,” I said. “Could you take a picture? And also, you kinda just did a shitload of stuff to me. So yeah.” I blink as suddenly a fuckton of photos rain down on me and the snoring sexy sisters. I notice the one right over my eyes is of an especially good scene of...holy SHIT! When did I transform into THAT?! “Alright then. Could ya take one to Avarice? I’d kinda like to shove it in his face after he did the same to me.”

“No point, too late. He’s knocked up our Tia with six foals, knocked up his living robot dragoness with seven eggs, and I don’t even know how pregnant that bitch Sharp he’s got a Kismesis with is since she took his first load after months of being pent up AND indulging in the drug herself. Avarice is my avatar, and I was...kinda...the god of Fertility of my world before I...became Chaos when I realized how much more potential it had.” Vaga stated with actual sheepishness. “Like I said before; Like Elder, like Younger.”

“Damn,” I said. “Just…. Damn. Well, I think I’m done.”

“No you’re not. I have thrust a lot of bullshit onto your shoulders in a very short period of time. So. You get ONE item. Of ANYTHING, from ANYWHERE and ANYWHEN in the Multiverse! Know though, that it DOES have to be without an owner at some point, and, well...whatever you ask for, if I cannot supply it, I will explain why.” Vaga said as I moved the sleeping sisters off of me, and let them cuddle each other as I gathered up the raunchy photos...hot damn...I did them both at once in THAT form?

“That’s...a lot of options to choose from Vaga,” I said. “I...don’t really know what I could ask for.”

“Ugh...why can’t you be as simple as Avarice? He’d just say ‘the power to manipulate the bodies of others without hurting them’ for sure, so he could be a huge perv...well, huger. I’m going to go hang out with my son Discord then. You think on it.” Vaga vanished, and I let my jaw drop.

Discord is his son? Does that mean ALL of them are his kids?! Well, that sure fucking explains a lot! “PRINCESS!” I jolted up in surprise, glad that I was somehow, suddenly clothed again, and saw Twilight and her friends plus Maud and Renkinjutsu all burst through the throne room doors, all of them wearing clothes now. DM must’ve done that… or Vaga. I don’t know anymore. They all gawked at the naked and spent sisters on the floor, and then looked at me. The ones with wings all instantly got wingboners, and I mentally cursed Vaga. ‘Damn you Vaga...DAMN YOU!’

And so began the chase again....well, except for Fluttershy, she just pounced on Renkin, thanks for taking one for me bro!

I eventually evaded them. Hell, I had to smash through a window, a door, AND A FUCKING WALL just to do so. The item I decide on has to be worth it….. and there’s more mares over here. GOD DAMN IT!

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY MARES IN CANTERLOT WITHOUT STALLIONS?!

I AM GOING TO FREAKING DIE! THERE’S MORE COMING IN FROM THE OTHER CITIES!....

I’m starting to feel like Vaga has something to do with this….

Meanwhile, somewhere in Cloudsdale:

Discord sipped a cup of tea, a pinky claw extended. He didn’t escape the anthropomorphization, either. “Ah. Such delicious Chaos. You really must visit more often Daddy. Especially since you’re up for retirement.”

Vaga was pouring a hot kettle of spearmint tea down his hood, making a satisfied sound the whole time, and spoke while still drinking. “Dissy, you know you’re just one of my sons in a nigh infinite Multiverse. Even Elder Gods can’t be everywhere all at once. That’s DM’s schtick. And look where it has him.” Vaga looked below as pegasus and thestral stallions were flying with haste to try and escape, only to be tackled into clouds by amourous pegasus and thestral mares, who promptly began making lewd sounds once pinned together. “I’m just glad to be watching some vintage local Chaos. It’s nice to see the world’s going about it’s own business.”

FINALLY GOT AWAY! Jeeze! There were so many freaking mares!

I can’t believe I got them to stop by just cuddling with Celestia and Luna. Wow. Either they didn’t want to mess with them and their mate, or they just didn’t want to anger a couple of goddesses. The fact that they backed off and grumbled about me being “claimed” meant that I should’ve just done this from the start. I mean, the princesses seemed to be very welcome to me cuddling between them.

“Finally figured it out?” I shot my gaze towards Vaga, who was sitting with a small chair, table, and tea set all scaled up to his size, and he raised a mocking toast with his cup. “Made up your mind? I’m not leaving until you tell me what you wish for.” He then splashed the tea in the cup at us, and I flinched only to instead feel...better. “Have some tea. It’s good for you.”

“How?” I asked. In response, Vaga pulled his hood off and turned his red ether “head” back into a copy of Avarice’s head, and looked at me with a very clear ‘really?’ expression, a devil-may-care grin on his snout and a brow raised. “Alright fine. I get it. So, you said anything, correct?”

“Absolutely. Anything. Anywhere. Anywhen. No limits. Unlike Avarice, I’m not constrained to a single universe.” Vaga reminded, sipping his tea straight from the kettle.

“Alright then,” I said. “How about a complete comprehensive guide to all things D&D from every series, including homebrew. One that has ALL the weapons, armor, and spells written out in detail for crafting and practice…… With a cover made out of something indestructible.”

Vaga blinked...he actually blinked in surprise. I made an Elder God blink in surprise. I could not describe how happy that made me. “Well...that...will actually take quite a bit of doing. It exists, but so few are unclaimed. Hold on.” I could actually see Vaga manually reach into his coat/body, and seem seriously focused on this. After a moment, he then pulled out a...whoa. “Yeah, couldn’t get the original copy, or the copy of the copy. Had to get the thing in installments all chained together...literally.”

It was beautiful! There were several books, like, text books of information all literally chained together in binders. This was some old legendary D&D player’s complete guide, personally compiled and lovingly stored away in laminated sheets! As a D&D player, a devoted one at that, to me; that was worth more than what I originally asked for.

The second I grabbed it, however, it all disappeared…..

“What the hell?!” I shouted. “What just happened?” My shock and outrage was quelled, however, when in the place of the several chained binders, was a chain-bound brown leather book, so thick I could’ve used it as a weapon! On the cover was written: Dungeons & Dragons: the Complete Guide. By The Wizards of the Coast.

“.... Holy shit….” was all I managed to get out. I just couldn’t believe it. It was amazing, no. Beyond amazing. This thing was like pure gold to me, and even then, that’s a SEVERE understatement! Hell, with this, I could become more powerful than….

Why would you do that, Vaga? The DM asked. That thing is godly, if even further than your powers. I’m still wondering how you managed to get that. Right now, the only thing keeping him from ascending past all of us is that he’s of my essence and that that’s the 4th edition of it. That, and the fact that he has no idea how to do that, nor does the book tell. I’m just glad you couldn’t get the 1st edition. That would have actually made him reality itself.

“He still could DM. Be careful what you say. Just because it’s the Fourth Edition doesn’t mean it isn’t capable of the power of the real ones. Should Dox apply himself, it could actually do all you’ve said. I know I said anything Dox...but be careful won’t you? You’ve got something infinitely greater than any bomb in the Multiverse.” Vaga warned as he sighed and put his hood back on, his head becoming red ether again. “Well, I’m done here. Send me off.”

“All right, then,” I said, snapping out of my own mind. “Vagabond, thank you. Our contract is done.” Vagabond waved as he burst into blue flame, vanishing in a swathe as I lay here, cradling possibly the fourth most epic book in the Multiverse, with two hot sisters spooning me on either side. “Life...is awesome right now.”