"What the hell?!" I said. "What are you talking about, big guy? And why the hell are you trying to introduce me to these two weirdos?"

"Hey!" the elf interjected. "Speak for yourself! You haven't had to deal with radiation, or giant monsters, or being the only wizard on a team! You haven't even had to deal with having a mutation!"

"Wait," I said. "Mutation.... Yours wouldn't happen to be telekinesis, would it?"

"Yeah, it is," he said. "What of it?"

"Holy crap," I said. "You're my Gamma Dragon character. What the hell. It's been a while since I've used you."

"Well duh," he said. "Now, you gonna let me and the alicorn introduce ourselves or what?"

"Oh, sorry," I appologized. "Please, go ahead."

"Alright then," the elf said in his regal voice. "I am Hyper Bolic (*This is pronounced Hi-pear Bowl-ic NOT hyperbolic*). An elf of Gamma World."

"And I am Solaris," the alicorn stated. "I came from Equestria."

"Wait a second," I said, turning to the astral projection that was the DM. "Why did you choose these two for a backup character? Why not just revive my body?"

"Because that is not how it works," it said.

"Plus we offered to help," Solaris said.

The DM ignored Solaris and continued to speak. "I cannot interfere that much. For some reason, your world has been warded against me. It should not be, but some other worldly creature must be canceling out my influence with their own."

Wait, what? That can't be good. Nor should it be possibe! No one should be that powerful!

"I know what you mean," it said. "Reminds me when your elf companion Elsyrin would continually use the rules to keep you from doing fun things."

.... Dude, why must you read my mind? It's creepy as hell.

"I know," it said. "I'll stop when you start listening to me."

"But I have been listening to you!" I yelled. "I've been listening to you the entire time!"

"Ah, but you haven't," it stated matter o' factly. "I've been trying to contact you through the dice, yet as of late, you've been ignoring me. Maybe you could have stopped Celestia if you had just payed attention to the dice."

"Wait, what?!" I shouted. "What do you mean payed attention to the dice?!"

"It's how he contacts you," Hyper Bolic said. "He was trying to give you a power boost this time."

"Serriously?" I said in disbelief. "What the hell?! If you're trying to contact me, why not just make a noise, or make the dice burn or something?"

"Because that's not how they work," the DM stated. "It's meant so that I speak, and you listen. Not for me to grab your attention. It's the way we comunicate. You wouldn't want someone to just up and shank you before saying hi, would you?"

"Good point," I said defeatedly. "I'll listen better next time."

"Good," it said. "You can start now. Someone is trying to summon you. Use one of them and get out of here."

"Right," I said. "Yo, Hyper, let's get a move on."

"Watch it!" he said. "You're not my friend just yet, don't act like you are."

"Got it." I said. "Let's just get moving."

Konrad was sitting on the dock of Dock End’s river, trying not to snicker at the irony of the name at the moment. He decided to go fishing today, his cabin still being built in the village. ‘Ah...so peaceful, so quiet...you’d never think a war was happening barely a few days southeast of here.’

{War is often like that Rookie. It’s everywhere, but in places like this, so removed from the grand scheme of things, it’s easy to forget the world’s troubles.}

Konrad looked at the slowly flowing river that managed to push the mill nearby, and the sudden yank of his fishing line drew his attention. ‘Bite!’ Konrad quickly grabbed the pole and yanked, getting the fish hooked, and began pulling in the line by hand. It was one of those ancient things, just a stick and a long bit a wire, but hey, these folks got their occasional fish craving handled. “Oh~! Red Snappah!” Konrad quoted an old machinima by Oxhorn and sniggered as he held the flopping them in his hands. “Now...raw or cooked?”

The Plaga that was the real Konrad practically shot an extending “Alien” like mouth out to bite a chunk out of the fish from under the bandanna, killing it instantly.

“Raw it is!” However, before Konrad could properly chow down, he began choking, his Plaga mouth extending out of his own human one to spit something into his hand. “Ugh...what is it?”

He held out a purple-ish d6 that seemed to contain a galaxy inside of it. While holding it, he heard a voice call out:

This is for anyone who needs help or just wants a friend. Summon the Dungeon Master of Equestria if you’re ever in need.

“What the hell? Magic die?” Konrad blanked out for a few moments, and then jumped up and danced with nonsensical joy. “A magic die! A summons! I feel like I’m playing some sort of role playing game all of a sudden.” Konrad considered summoning this DM to help him, but he figured he’d save it for a rainy day as he sat back down facing the water.

A thunderclap sounded in the distance, and Konrad looked up to notice a storm front rolling in. ‘Huh, said rainy day might happen sooner than planned.’

“Freeze!” Konrad froze, but only in shock as he slowly turned his head around to see several pegasus soldiers, all garbed in the rank-and-file basic bronze and leather armor all aiming spears at him. “You are to surrender for questioning, unders suspicion of using forbidden magic!”

{Rookie...I don’t know about you, but we’re kinda between a bad spot-} The river. {And a sharp place-} The spears. {So, whatever that little trinket you found is, I’d suggest you use it to at least buy time to get out our boomstick.}

‘Yeah...good idea...how do I do that?!’

{I don’t know, roll it or something! It’s a die, nothing complicated!}

Konrad rolled from his seated position onto his back, throwing the die at the soldiers who jumped away on instinct while Konrad got himself upright.

When the die touched the ground, it bounced up into the air and turned into a portal, sending out an elf clad in strange robes and a tattered brown cloak. He held a staff in one hand, a spellbook in the other. He spoke with a voice that commanded respect, as if he knew much….. Stuck up elf…..

“What the hell?!” He said, staring at the guards that were pointing their spears at him. “I swear, it’s like no matter where I go, Celestia’s finest hate me.”

“H-h-halt foul…. thing!” Said one of the soldiers.

“Okay, that’s enough of that,” He said, pointing his staff at the soldiers. “Sleep.”

In an instant, they were all out like a light.

“Now,” he started, turning to me. “Who summoned me?”

Before Konrad could even blink, or respond, several flaring red lights shot up from the incapacitated soldiers into the sky, bursting in a display of light all too synonymous with “OVER HERE!” “Uh...Konrad, or Avarice the Merchant. I appreciate the save, but I think more of them might be incoming!” Konrad reached into his coat and pulled out his Chiappa. ‘Shit, shit, an actual battle! I’ve never killed something sentient before!’

“Wait, did you just say, the Merchant?” He asked, ignoring both Konrad and the lights. “As in… the guy who sent me to Equestria? OH HO HO! I HAVE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!”

“Wait, WHAT?! Hey! Point that thing somewhere else!” Konrad shouted as he dodged a bolt of magic that came flying at him, only to start floating randomly, flailing his arms about trying to get down.

“WHY?!” The elf asked. “Why did you send me here?! What reason?! Why did you think it was just okay to mess with us con goers and such?!”

It started to feel like the air around Konrad was trying to choke him…. and was succeeding as he started to feel a lot of pressure around his throat. Only to remember he didn’t need to breathe anymore aside from keeping his host body alive. He could revive it if worse came to worst. “I...don’t...understand….”

“What do you mean you don’t understand?!” The elf screamed at him. “You sent me here! I can…. I can….. You’re…. not him. Are you?” The elf asked as he noticed the differences in appearance between this Merchant and the Merchant that he thought he was.

Konrad felt the air around him release it’s grasp and set him down gently. “Well! That was a fine how-do-ya-do you bleedin’ wanker! I should shoot ya fulla holes for that stunt!” Konrad aimed his shotgun angrily at the elf, forgetting his pacifism in his anger for a moment, only to suddenly jerk away when he realized it and shoot the dock to the right of him. “Oh...shit...almost did something I’d regret there….”

“You bet.” He said. “If you shot me, I woulda decked ya in the face with my staff. Or used telekinesis again. Man, I’ll never get used to the Gamma Dragon rules.”

“DnD? That’s really convoluted. Well...I’m not sure what’s going on, what with them claiming me using illegal magic. I’m just a...humble Merchant.” Konrad had to chuckle. “Regardless, I’m on the run from Equestria’s more upstanding elements. I got here, looted a battlefield, traded a debt for information on current events, and next thing I know: I’ve got pegasi after my ass. I know it’s sexy, but could they not be chasing it?”

“Ooookay,” The elf said, finally turning around and noticing the magic flares. “So, someone wants your butt. I’m gonna guess it’s Celestia. But enough of that. Shouldn’t we get out of here before those reinforcements get here? I’m pretty sure they want me now, too.”

“Well, if they do I bet it won’t bug ya none considering you got Dark Side powers. Let’s go, got a cave nearby we can hide in for the moment.”

“Home sweet home! Take a seat anywhere! What’s mine is yours!” Konrad joked as they walked into the cave. It had a small entrance, but opened up rather quickly into a surprisingly well-structured cavern that seemed artificial. In fact, a carved entrance with ancient runes deeper in informed the elf that this was the entrance to a crypt, and Konrad had shamelessly piled it’s riches and a vast assortment of odds and ends about the entrance cavern, to note he was specifically sitting on a throne that had moldy cushions, gesturing for the elf to take a seat on a rickety stool.

“What the hell?” He said before taking a seat on the ground. “This is a crypt! A place where the dead are buried! And that’s Elvish! Why is there Elvish here?! Who the hell are you?!”

“Hell if I know anymore! I’m Konrad Skinner, I’m Avarice the Merchant. I’m a Stranger, a familiar face! As for this being a crypt, when you’ve got questionable abilities with questionable clients of unknown levels of trustworthiness and a questionably stable parasite that’s replaced your actual self, you find it hard to find a place to feel safe. I WAS getting a cabin in the village, but with the soldiers after me, nothing’s likely going to be so open as before. So close to getting Dock End a proper merchantry too.” Konrad bemoaned, running his hand through a pile of gold next to him, watching it run down to the floor in boredom.

“But why a crypt?” The elf asked. “Why not just a different cave?”

“Why bother? This place is perfect! Well hidden in plain sight, easy to reach yet hard to find, and filled to the brim with riches! I was going to invest all this into the village, I ain’t got a use for it. But now I’ll have to move on, but I don’t know how to get this place noticed, or even if they’re allowed to desecrate it as I’ve blatantly done.” Konrad informed as he took some coins from the pile and jingled them about. “As for me getting it all out….” Konrad put the coins in his coat, and then pulled out an ancient and rusted sword out that was blatantly too large to fit. “I have my ways.”

“What the?!” He yelped. He calmed down after a bit and started talking again. “Ya know, I thought that I was the only one with a ‘Magic Satchel’.” He said, pulling out a bag. “Although, yours is a bit different.”

“Heh, a bag of holding? I’ve got more than that, more than all the bags of holding could ever hope for. See that statue over there?” Konrad gestured to a small golden statue of an elf women, clearly in a very lewd pose, possibly a fertility idol or something. “Watch.” Konrad reached into his coat, and just over the statue, his hand appeared as if from thin air, where it then grabbed onto the statue and pulled it into nothingness. When the elf looked back to Konrad, it was now in his hand. “Fancy as all get-out.”

“What. The hell. That shouldn’t be possible. That…. That….. Ugh…” He facepalmed, with the audible slap echoing throughout the cave.

“Don’t think too hard about it, I just accept it as it is. The only limitation is that I cannot use that on anything except things either I, or nobody has claim to.” Konrad said with a nod and set the statue down at his feet. “Just as well, actual stealing, from the living at least, is something I abhor and will never resort to. I’d rather die….again.”

“So, let me get this straight.” The elf started. “If I were to call dibs on, oh I don’t know, that pile of gold in the corner?”

“Can’t touch it now. You own it. Simple as that. Unless you say you don’t want it, or give it away to nobody, then that nobody becomes me.”

“Ah, okay. Well then, I’m not claiming it.”

“That’s fine, then it’ll go to the village. I’ve got ideas, but I’ll need a little extra help getting this all moved to town.” Konrad said as he gestured to the vast wealth in the cave. “I can’t just warp it all there, not with those soldier boys aiming spears at my rear.”

“Oh, how I know how that feels. Well, kind of. Back in my Equestria-”

“WHOA! Hold up! YOUR Equestria?! I kinda get Multiverse theory, but you’re saying that you’re from another version of this universe?” Konrad asked in surprise, getting the elf to blink in confusion.

“Uh, yeah.” He said. “What, am I the first Displaced you’re meeting?”

“I know I must seem dumb to ask, but what the blooming fuck is a Displaced?” Konrad asked gruffly as he picked up a coin and tossed it. “There, that coin is now displaced, what special meaning is there to the term?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” The elf said. “It’s just what someone called people like me. Apparently it’s those of us that have been sent to Equestrias by the Merchant. That shady guy that sold us stuff. I also heard about some kind of lottery, but apparently it’s not common.”

“Pfft, yeah, right, not common he says. If there’s enough of us to earn a capital lettered title just from existing, I think it’s beyond common. Because this means I’m a Displaced too. Damn. There went any consoling thoughts that I was unique. And also this explains you trying to kill me on the dock. Bastard probably used me as a scapegoat. For all I know, I’m going to be attracting hundreds of Displaced looking for revenge.” Konrad grumbled as he shifted in his throne. “Ugh...that’s a later topic. I don’t want to think about it. So, let’s keep things simple for now; like what the hell is your name? I’ve been thinking of you as “the elf” since you popped up.”

“I honestly forgot my original name.” He said. “I did create a new name for myself though. In fact, got it after becoming king of changelings in a different universe. I’m Dox.

“Well that isn’t an odd name, but better than all these word-names ponies have. Well then Dox, mind stirring up some trouble to buy me time for some charity work?” Konrad asked as he gestured again to all the treasure.

“Ugh. Fine, but you owe me.” Dox said. The reaction to the words was violent, as Konrad spasmed and gasped as he clutched his chest. “Yo, you okay?”

Konrad’s eyes shined brightly, and they began to keep glowing as an audible snarl entered his tone. “Ya had to enact a debt...now we’re in contract. So now, neither of us can get out of this without backlash. I HAVE to deliver this treasure, and you HAVE to help me now. Watch words around me Dox...words have binding power when I’m involved.”

“.....Okay then. Let’s get to it.” Dox said.

The village of Dock End was as it normally was. Ponies were going about their business, going to and from the logging mill with wagons of felled trees, or tilling fields. There was even construction on a new cabin in the town, what with the fact that there was only like, five buildings.

The ponies were busy working on their own things when suddenly a figure appeared on the northwest horizon of the village. The figure stood there for a bit before the figure summoned a large ball of fire before sending it flying down the road.

This in turn alerted all of the soldiers in the village, who promptly ran out of the buildings that they were in and swarmed the strange figure. When he was completely surrounded, they heard him speak.

“I don’t normally do this kind of roll, but…..” The figure said before screaming: “CHAOTIC EVIL BITCHES! YOU CAN’T STOP ME!” And proceeding to run away from the village, the soldiers following in quick pursuit.

Along the way out the figure cast a few beams of magic to keep the soldiers from getting too close. It even threw one of the soldiers back at the town, all the while screaming like a madman. It’s safe to say, that one soldier wasn’t able to rejoin his brothers in arms in the pursuit.

Around the corner of the inn, Konrad poked his head out, and glared at the hissing soldier holding his leg as Logger and a couple of the other villagers helped him up and started carrying him to the inn. ‘No! Damn it! That was the best spot!’ Konrad tightened his grip on his Chiappa angrily, before he took a few steadying breaths. He may not need to breath, but it was still cathartic. ‘Where am I going to drop the loot now?’

{Where you originally planned to.}

‘But there’s a soldier in there! He’ll see me drop it and might claim it as stolen or some other bullshit, and then there goes the village’s capital! This place would never get on the map then!’

{I’ll deal with the toy soldier.}

‘No killing!’

{Wouldn’t dream of it….}

Avarice coughed, before spitting out Konrad’s human teeth, licking his bloodied lips as the mutation replaced his human mouth with an insect one. “Bleh...great, mouth’s gone. Sorry kid.” ‘Ew...win some, lose some.’ Avarice then chittered his mandibles still surrounded by the flesh of Konrad’s mouth, thankfully all hidden by his convenient bandanna. “Meh, better for eating anyway.”

Avarice stormed into the inn, getting their attention by shooting the ceiling.

Meanwhile, back with Dox:

“EAT IT LOSERS!” Dox shouted as he shot YET ANOTHER magic missile next to a soldier. He was aiming at the soldiers, but he had no intent to kill them.

All in all, this was almost as fun as that time that Urahara asked him to help set up some explosives for training….. and he put some in his pants…… Ah, that was funny shit right there.

Back with Konrad:

At the thunderously loud bark of the shotgun’s buckshot being fired into the ceiling, all the ponies had screamed and ducked out of instinct rather than ingrained fear. ‘Odd, how even across time and space, intelligent and instinctive response is so similar.’ “Alright you ungrateful whelps! I provided my services to your town and you sell me out?!”

“It’s nothing like that Avarice! They’re soldiers, our country’s soldiers, we couldn’t just turn them away!” Logger defended, only to yelp in pain as Avarice took an old throwing knife from his coat and threw it into his shoulder.

“Quiet! There’s something called Friendship, and I was bothering to learn your names! For a Merchant, that’s pretty damn close to trusting! I won’t be coming back, but I still plan to hold up my bargain with you all.” Avarice then looked at the injured soldier laying on a table the villagers had placed him. “Watch you little cog, as I demonstrate my benevolence.”

Avarice then took off his pack, opened it, and turned it over. Promptly, a pile of gold began forming as a waterfall of gold coins, various treasures, and other valuables spilled forth. Within a few minutes, he’d made a pile big enough to fill a good portion of the floor, before he pulled his pack back upright, and closed it. Avarice’s new mandibles clicked in amusement and satisfaction at their gobsmacked faces. “Adieu.” With that, Avarice bolted out the door and into the woods to the east, readying the d6 to contact Dox.

With Dox:

“OW OW OW! SCREW YOU GUYS! I’M OUT! PEACE!” Dox screamed angrily as he quickly teleported away.

He reappeared right next to Avarice, in the cave, now empty.

“You’re welcome,” Dox said. “Now I’m bloodied as HELL! That hurt, just so ya know.”

“Well, hot damn. I thought you were a mage/warrior dual class, but since you took so much I’m guessing you’re just a mage then. Staff threw me off. Well, I’ve got some healing potions that’ll-.” Suddenly, as Avarice reached into his coat, Dox keeled over backwards, landing in a boneless heap. “Uh...did he just...SHIT!” Avarice quickly fished out a fistful of potions, and began desperately pouring them into the unresponsive elf. “Shit! SHIT! Don’t die on me! Debts aren’t settled when people die! FUCK! I got the first Displaced I met killed!”

“That’s what you think.” Said a different voice. “I’m kinda unkillable. As long as I still have a character to use, I’m alive.”

Avarice turned to the source of the voice only to find a non-anthro alicorn standing at the mouth of the cave. It just stared at him and said, “Sup.”

“YOU ARSE! YOU GOT ME WORRIED FOR NOTHING! DO YOU REALIZE HOW CLOSE I WAS TO INFECTING YOU TO RESURRECT YOU?!” Avarice screamed angrily as he smacked the stately alicorn stallion across the face with the but of his shotgun. “I would’ve cursed you with undeath damn it! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Yeah. That would have pissed off both me AND the guy whose body that actually is.”

“Oh, great, so I still got SOMEBODY killed! That’s a relief! Not! Tell me there’s some sort of other sorcery involved in this to clear my conscience.” Avarice pleaded sarcastically as he gestured angrily at the bloody corpse on the floor.

“Eh, don’t worry. He’s still alive.” Alicorn Dox said. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you just helped res him. According to the big guy, it’d take weeks to do normally.”

“Oh, so those potions didn’t go to waste. Good. If there’s anything I hate more than killing innocents, or stealing, it’s wasting valuable resources.” Avarice calmed down as he sat on his still cushioned throne. “So...is that body just going to lay there?”

Just as he said that, it started getting up and fading away. Before fading away, Avarice could have sworn he heard it say, “Fuck you Dox, and fuck you, too creepy guy.”

“...I like him. We should invite him over more often.” Avarice joked, getting them both to laugh. “So! Alright, now that all the excitement’s over with, I can slip away while they’re dealing with things in Dock End. But before I do, I want a couple things. Firstly; how the hell did you make this?” Avarice asked as he brought out the d6.

“Well, I just sort of aquired the d6 and said an oath.” He said. “Honestly, it can be any item, and obviously the oaths are different. Just take something and say what you stand for or something like that and offer aid. I don’t know. Oh, and before you choose a coin, someone already has a coin.”

“Well, damn. Money is sorta my thing...wait a tick…” Avarice focused hard, reached into his coat, and then began tugging on something. “Mm! Thing’s stuck! Hold on!” Avarice tried pulling harder, only to make no progress. “Grab on my sleeve and pull would ya?”

“..... I’m not even going to ask.” Dox said as bit on the sleeve and started to pull. “Gwoss.”

“Hey, it was leather before I came here, just pull harder!” Avarice shouted as he could feel his prize loosening.

“Itphs Wowphs thin phsnake phskin!” He shouted through the material.

Finally, with a crack, the prize came loose, jerking Avarice’s arm and elbowing Dox in the jaw.

“OW!” Dox screamed as he released the sleeve. “First the bad taste, now I taste blood! DAMN IT MAN!”

“Oh come off it, have a potion, it’ll grow back any teeth ya just lost.” Avarice idly said as he carelessly tossed a vial of the opaque red liquid at the alicorn, too involved in looking at his chosen icon. “Beautiful….” Avarice said as he held the ancient cold blue iron brazier torch up, it had a length of rusted chain connected to the bottom. Likely, that was what had been resisting the pull from it’s secondary mounting.

“That gonna be your token?” Dox said, wiping blood from his mouth and downing the potion. “Now say an oath, like what you’re offering and some instructions on how to call you.”

Avarice held the torch up, his mandibles clicking in excitement.
”If you seek a bargain, a trade, or an extra gun. Light this blue flame and call my name! Avarice, The Merchant!”

“That it?” Dox asked. “Dude, someone is gonna connect you to THE Merchant and come at ya, you know that right?”

“Let then come! Let them call! I will prove I am every bit greater than that swindler! I shall fend off any who attack me, and happily provide service to those who seek it. I can get my hands on anything that isn’t owned, what better honest Merchant is there?” Avarice asked as he cackled darkly, and then fished out a lit torch from his coat, casually passing it over the fuelless brazier, which then lit a bright blue, before he threw it into the open air, where it vanished into nothingness.

“Great.” Dox simply stated. “I’ll keep an eye out for that, then. You still have a debt to fill.”

“ACK! DON’T SAY THOSE WORDS! NOW I HAVE TO PROVIDE A SERVICE!” Avarice shouted, upset that his powers were being used against him. “Bah, fine. Better you than some twit out to get me. Call on me should ya need me, and I’ll be along. Sorry for making the summoning requirements a little difficult, but I don’t want my summons to be an accident made lightly.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I know a place that’ll work.” Dox said. “Hell, go ahead and call me if ya want. But, uh. Before I go, you need to say something…. aparently…..”

Then a portal opened up……

“Or that could happen. Later dude!” Dox said as he jumped into the portal.

Author's Notes:

So, that was my crossover chapter with GameJunkie7 and his story Hello, Stranger.\

It was a blast working with him (and teaching him how to crossover. Yes, I was the first guy to crossover with him and his story. Honestly, I'm honored. It was fun!

Anyways, yeah, Dox is gonna be back in his Equestria in the next chapter.... as Solaris.... who is Celestia's daddy...... Can't you just smell the horrible, HORRIBLE shenanigans?