Alright...

...you have us all on bated breath...

...What is this scheme you've devised to bring -IT- back here...

It's super simple...

Shim...

Who's the funniest person you know...?

Why, Pipsqueak, there can only be one person who fits that description...

I know...

...But it's nice to hear it...

The funniest person I know...

...The most thoughtful in their comedic craft...

...The person who embodies joy itself...

...Is none other than Queen Chrysalis...

...What?

In an instant, light filled the whole of the stage as rubble rained from on-high. The roof of the stage was ripped free and open by a single enlarged claw. Mismatched eyes of a giant glared down into the space, bewildered by what they heard. "HER?! The last good joke she made was the day she was born, and she's been running that one into the ground for years!"

And there you go...

...I should've stayed stone...

I bet you're wondering why I gathered you all here...

You--What?!

You gathered us all here!?

Nobody's seen you for months!

Yes...

...And I bet you're wondering why that is...

NO!

...I'm wondering...

Thank you Polly-Wanna-Pipper...

You see...

...After our momentous order was laid upon us...

...I found myself adrift in unfamiliar lands...

...I had to subsist on morning dew and pebbles for all the while...

...Eventually, when all else was lost, I found myself remembering my dear family...

...And I was eager to embrace my end...

You suck!

But!

Before sweet death could claim me...

...I remembered my boy...

...And I had to return...

...So now I'm here...

...

...

...Okay...

So what I'm hearing is that after you were told to go buy dinner at Burger King, you got lost in the parking lot, where you lived off of Mountain Dew and gravel for weeks instead of going inside the store...

...Then you remained there sulking in said parking lot--likely drawing everypony's attention as they just walked around you--until you heard Pip set you up for a punchline. Does that about cover it...?

...

...One would argue that gravel has the same nutritional value as Burger King.

Can we send him back?

We now return to regularly scheduled stupidity.

Also, go check out the V-Day announcement! HERE!!