I can’t believe that it took ten years before things started to get back on track after Discord. At first my sister and I were trying to help the ponies of Equestria get some semblance of normalcy after so many decades of madness and strife. But they latch onto us, leaning on us for guidance and support. I guess it should be okay, after a while Little Lulu and I can go back on our adventures and enjoy our youth. After all older ponies say that youth is fleeting. Could you imagine Diary if Lulu and I were forced to do this forever? I could … wait Diary, I hear Lulu knocking. I’ll write more later.

-T’s ♥

“Come in!” Filly Celestia sang.

The wooden doors squeaked on their rusty hinges, but borrowing room and board from random ponies meant they couldn’t be too picky. On where their hospitality came from, even though anything was better than sleeping on the hard ground as the days gave way to winter. In through the door prolicked Luna, who was the picture of adorableness.

Luna nestled up to her sister and hummed contentedly, “Hi Tia. I missed you.”

“Why’d you miss me, we saw each other this morning,” Celestia said wrapping a wing around her sister.

“That’s just it, we used to spend all our time together. Now when we aren’t fixing Equestria, we’re sleeping, or trying to find some free time. But we rarely have us time together, and well … I miss it,” Luna said.

“I do to Lulu, you’re my shining star and I love you more than words can say. But we have a duty to doing the right thing. It just stinks that it’s taking longer than I would’ve thought for us to fix it. But I promise I’ll do my best to make more time for us,” Celestia said nuzzling Luna gently. Hoping to convey the affections she felt towards her beloved sister.

It’s been ten years since I wrote in this special Diary. To think that I’d have several for different occasions. That I’d come to this one during times of trouble, or when stuff I don’t like happens seems almost sad. I admit you’re a good listener, especially during the Discordian Era, but that you hold all the things I’d rather forget. But listen to remind me that everything isn’t as bad as it could be … it helps.

When Lulu interrupted us last time, I made her a promise that I’d find a way to spend more time with her. Unfortunately for both of us, that hasn’t come to pass. I’m almost looking like a young mare. It’s sad that Mother and Father left us before they could tell us just how different we are and how different they age. They said they’d come back for us, but as you know. Tirek made sure that didn’t happen. I promised to not tell Lulu the truth of why they didn’t come back, and I hope that she never learns.

As for what brings me here. As aforementioned I haven’t been able to keep that promise to Lulu, and now I fear it may never happen. The pony tribes, seeing as we are the only ones with the power to stop Discord, and other major threats that they aren’t capable of handling made us rulers of the Equestria.

My sister and I argued with them over it, and in the end we ended up only partially succeeding. We won’t be called Queens, since we aren’t better than anypony else we’ll be princesses, so that the heads of the pony tribes will still have power. As long as they keep their Kings, Queens, Chancellors and Warlords, Lulu and I won’t be all powerful. I hope.

The next was to ensure certain freedoms allowing ponies to keep their cultural heritage and traditions as long as it didn’t infringe or hurt another ponies. This way they can still be who they are and we can just step in if need be. There were a few other rights, forming a Constitution that allowed certain freedoms for our little ponies. Hopefully it will also allow us some leeway into things.

But that’s where the good new ends. They’re building us a castle, yes it’s a new home for us, and I’m grateful they’d do that for us. But I fear that it could make us seem more than we are, and make others feel like we’re above them. Distancing us from the ponies we care for. I really don’t want that to happen Diary. It’d be wrong, for anypony to think we were better than them, just because we happen to be practically immortal. I’d hate it if ponies put me on such a pedestal that I could never reach them. At least I have Lulu. Well it’s time for me to go to bed.

Goodnight Diary,

-T’s ♥

Celestia closed the Diara and gave a hearty sigh. She was at a loss on how to juggle the promise Luna and her made to look after the ponies of Equestria after saving them from Discord, and to spend more time with her sister. Family should come first, but with everypony seeming to need them for every little thing, family kept coming second. And that second literally seemed to last seconds before the next problem crept up on them. But things couldn’t get worse could they?

I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.

-Tia

Tears fell on the paper as Celestia sat next to her sister’s bed. It was the second worst moment of Celestia’s life. Tirek somehow had escaped his prison from Tartarus, she couldn’t imagine why there were no guards, guarding that gate. But that fiend almost killed Luna. They were warned with her prophetic dreams of an escape and flew to where they knew they would meet him.

Unfortunately they got the timing wrong and he was already powerful. Fed by the souls and magic of his cultists. Why anypony would deal with a monster that the history books said made dragons by corrupting ponies, traded souls for deals that always went bad, and ate the magic of those not foolish enough to give it freely. Made no sense to her. Worst of all, because she and Luna didn’t control dangerous knowledge like that Luna was almost killed.

Celestia knelt over her sister’s bandaged body. Their Alicorn regenerations slowly knitting together the less series of wounds, and whispered, “I’m so sorry Lulu. I’m a pretty crappy sister aren’t I? I promise you I’ll prevent others from learning the names of those who are sent to Tartarus so nopony does something so foolish again. And I will do my best to find a way to make more time for you. I’m so, so, sorry I wasn’t better.”

Celestia didn’t know how long she wept over her sister. But eventually sleep overtook her and she drifted off to sleep. I swear sister that I will protect you from now on. No more dangerous things for you if I can help it.

I feel as if I’m going mad sometimes. You already know Diary of the wars with the Dragons, Griffins, and Minotaurs. So much deaths and tragedies that we just finally got treaties to end not too many decades ago, but still even when there isn’t threats from without, the threats from within are just as heartbreaking.

You’d think that with immortal rulers would be able to stomp out tribalism, crime, and violence amongst one another, yet it seems to flourish regardless of what we do. Then you have terrorist cells of those we formed treaties with trying to initiate war again. Then add in the mountain of problems that rain down upon my sister and I. And I feel my heart shatter with each pain my little ponies face. With no way to stop it from spreading.

At the very least I’ve been able to keep my sister safe. By lacking to inform her when danger approaches I can deal with it before she arrives, or at least that’s what I tell myself when it happens. But Luna shows up at the last instant and helps with the clean up. Yes there’s the unfortunate side effect that she’s getting deeper and deeper in my shadow, and everytime it happens I promise myself that I’ll make it up to her. But then a new crisis or problem arrises. Diary? Is it so wrong to want to keep my sister safe? To not want to lose her? I feels as if I’m being torn in two Diary. I want to save everypony, and I want Lulu happy. Like when we were fillies, and would go on adventures. And when we’d have fun, just being who we were, rather than what we have been shaped into being by the expectations of others.

But I know that’s selfish of me. My little ponies come first. They always do, and every day I can feel that rift between us grow and I never wanted this. But I just want to do the right thing Diary … you really are the best holder of my darkest secrets. Thank you.

-Celestia

Celestia closed the book and decided it was high time to visit her sister. It was almost a thousand years since the defeat of Discord, and ever since his defeat Celestia and Luna had been there for their little ponies. At first ponies flocked to both sisters, showering them with adoration and admiration equally. But as the generations passed, especially after the battle with Tirek and Celestia’s decision to protect Luna no matter what. Luna fell deeper and deeper into Celestia’s shadow, all the while Celestia found it harder and harder to find the time for her sister.

Sure they had their rituals. Eat their first and last meals of the day together. Once a year hold a “princess summit” to “discuss important world business”. But those days took forever to arrive, and with all the horrors that seemed to spring up when they tried longer than a few days as each year rolled by. It seemed to lose the special importance it once held, since the moment they left they couldn’t help but worry of what new problem would almost have their nations in ruins next time the got back.

Even worst, Luna’s worshipers seemed to be less and less in number with each passing century. While Celestia herself had to deal with not only trying to correct ponies who praised her for Luna’s doing, something her followers thought of her being modest and as expected from the Element of Generosity and Kindness, doing something nice for that dear other pony that happened to follow her around. But also from fanatics from both areas.

While Luna didn’t have as many worshipers, she did gain ponies who saw her as a banner. A figurehead for their dislike of the current government. Who saw Celestia’s acts of protecting her sister from the evils of the world, and Luna’s increasingly hermetic lifestyle, as signs of tyranny of a mighty oppressor. With all the wrongs in the world being from Celestia’s own hooves.

But that paled in comparison to the Order of Celestial Light. They took things in the complete opposite direction, trying to in many ways separate the world into black and white. With Celestia as a being of utmost perfection, an infallible source of infinite goodness. While her sister the source of all the wrongs, tragedies, and bad twists of fate that ever happened. Their demonizing of her struck old fears in her I’m afraid, and it’s not like I can just vaporize them for being annoying. Especially since their means of banishing Luna are prayer based rituals at the least, at their worst they throw “magic eggs of light” at her window. While Luna’s own group of fanatics range from bureaucratic nuisances to terrorist organizations.

Celestia broke out of her internal contemplations and her judgement of who had it worst with worshipers and fanatic groups. When she neared her sister’s ornate black oak, double doors she took a deep breath before knocking. Hearing no reply, she decided to just let herself in.

Celestia saw her sister looking at the star with a distant look in her eyes, trotting up beside her she draped a wing over Luna’s back. At the touch, she felt Luna’s body jerk before she looked at Celestia, “Sister why didn’t you knock first?”

“I did Luna, but you didn’t answer.”

“So you thought that you’d just pop in? What if I was indisposed or indecent?” Luna asked defensively. Although the sadness in her voice showed Celestia that the tone was mostly for show.

“Well that I would have had to apologize now wouldn’t I?” Celestia replied with a grin.

“Harumph! Nothing short of hot cocoa, and those little rose cakes you used to make would satiate me,” Luna said leaning into her sister.

Giving her a loving nuzzle Celestia whispered, “What’s the matter Luna? Over these last few centuries I barely catch a glimpse of you for a moments time. And now I see you so morose and withdrawn … you know you can tell me anything right? I’ll always do what I can to be here for you.”

Luna shrugged against her sister and gave a hesitant nod against her sister’s neck, “I’m scared,” Luna replied after a moments silence.

“Scared of what?” Celestia asked her voice thick with concern.

“Of being forgotten,” Luna admitted.

“Forgotten?”

“Yes!” Luna said her voice slowly rising, “When we were first forced to rule this nation. Both you and I were equally loved and admired, but over the centuries I get less while you get more. I hear the ponies say I’m nothing but your shadow! That I’m a demon that you every night have to force into the chambers to keep away from decent ponies! I hear them bless you for my work!” As she neared the end of getting the weight off her chest she was yelling. Not quite Royal Canterlot voice, but getting there.

“Luna, you know I constantly try to dissuade ponies from that nonsense. I keep telling them that it’s your work, and how wonderful of a pony you are,” Celestia replied slowly giving gentle, comforting massages on Luna’s back with her wings. Which did nothing to alleviate Luna’s ire.

“Still, it hurts so much Tia. I give my all to our little ponies, yet they act as if I don’t exist. And those who do, put me on a much worse pedestal than you. At least yours is built off of love and respect. Most of those who look up to me see me as an anti-you, or as if somehow we both don’t agree to every law that’s passed. And those who still worship me as their ancestors do are becoming less and less.

“I fear that in a few decades they will be gone. All the while your shadow grows deeper, and I’m afraid that soon nopony will even acknowledge that I exist. That I’ll be forgotten, and all that I’ve ever done will fade into the shadows along with me,” By the time she ended she was in tears. As all of her fears lay bare before Celestia.

“Luna no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get. I will always be there to protect you, and I will keep your memory alive. I promise,” Celestia said giving her sister a motherly kiss on the forehead.

“Tia?”

“Hmmmm?”

“I miss this, and I miss when you used to call me Lulu. I know that I put on a show of disliking it … but I miss those times. Do you think we can have those times again if things truly got better?” Luna asked hesitantly.

“I hope so Lulu, and I’ll try my best to make more times like this for us,” Celestia said. I love you Luna, I’m so sorry that I haven’t protected you as much as I’ve liked to. But I’ll try harder, your happiness is more important that my pain. Always has been, always will be.

Author's Notes:

Savage Skies Series Shoutout. This chapter sets the next into motion. You can see the events that lead up to NMM, the slow loss of freedom for both sisters, and the fears of Celestia as the centuries move on. This chapter was hard to make because knowing what next chapter has in store. And knowing just how Celestia can be in her future. Made this challenging. This chapter and the next are kind of like YuYu Hakusho's: Chapter Black tape in a way. In that if read alone, by itself, shows a much darker picture of events. Especially if not coupled with her other diaries that show less darker parts of her life. At least that's how I see it.