The Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 2: Debt to a Doctor (Comment Driven Story)

by Down with Chrysalis

First published 22nd of August, 2014

The continued misadventures of you, Bugze the Changeling, as The Doctor calls up on your debt with him and he asks you to come to Canterlot immediately

Now a member of the Tournament of Canterlot
Sponsor page : TOC - The Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 1 and 2

It has been six months since the events of "The Life of a Wanted Changeling." And you, Bugze the changeling, have settled down in your new home town of Appaloosa. You've managed to buy a house, protect Nightshade (your filly) from Princess Luna, and you've lived a peaceful life (besides that comet incident and that one time you accidentally set fire to the apple orchards) as the only changeling living in plain sight. But, after receiving a letter from a certain Time Lord requesting you to head to Canterlot immediately, you can't help but feel that your life is about to become more...chaotic.

The sequel to (if you couldn't tell) "The Life of a Wanted Changeling (Comment Driven Story)", where you decide what happens! Come in, sit back, and prepare to laugh your butt off!

The image belongs to S80LOR, give him all credit!
Edited by Kersey475.

[New} Episode 6 and above have and will be proofread by Mind's Eye and Erised the ink-moth. Go check them out, there great guys!

FEATURED ON 8/31/14! Great Scott we did it Hive Mind!

Episode 0: Season 1 Re-cap

Everypony knows about Queen Chrysalis's attempted invasion of Canterlot during the Royal Wedding between Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (or just Cadance) that resulted in her and her changeling Hive being launched into the Badlands, right? However, very very few know that one changeling was launched into the Everfree Forest instead. You are that changeling.

You are Bugze; a clumsy, unlucky, pop-cultured, snarky, not-that-bright bug with prankster tendencies who can't fly and never really fit in with the rest of Chrysalis's hive.

"HEY, I am too bright. It was my idea to have the Hive change into griffins instead of ponies!" You shout at the narrator.

And how well did that go?

"The changelings that went into the Griffin Kingdom disguised as griffins... Got captured immediately..." You say in a defeated tone as you realize that the narrator was right.

Exactly, now let me finish your life story.

"Fine, fine, go ahead." You say in a annoyed tone.

*Ahem* Seeing how your life as an evil minion never worked out that well, you decided to become a good guy and swore to Luna (you forgot which goddess is the main one) to help those in need. However, after a misunderstanding with Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity, you were chased into an abandoned castle where you acquired "The Inventory", a bottomless saddle bag, along with several books from which you learned a few spells and some dark odd-looking alicorn-ish armor. The 3 ponies from before soon catch up with you forcing you to use the teleport spell (which rarely ever goes exactly right for you) which caused you to end up at the Royal Castle in Canterlot. You then run into Princess Cadance who reveals that you helped her during the Canterlot Invasion (when Chrysalis foalnapped and trapped her underground, you secretly provided her with food and water and even took a blast for her when Chrysalis decided to finish her. Your ex-queen revived/healed you (somehow) and claimed the ponies blasted you as you lost much of your memory from the blast).

You put your hoof to your chin as you say in a smart tone "If I remember correctly, I accidentally kicked dirt into Twilight's eyes, used Rarity as a meat shield, and just angered Applejack by doing said things to her friends... Yeah, I'm not good with mares." You give a sigh in defeat before you say "And to this day I wonder how and even why my ex-queen revived me... Right now my bits are on necromancy and I probably owed her some bits."

To assist you, Cadance teleports you to Ponyville where you befriend a pegasus named Derpy. You're forced to run after another encounter with the Mane 6 (and by that, we mean Pinkie Pie and Applejack and the latter is somehow able to see through your (usually unreliable anyway) changeling disguise spell) into the Apple Family Orchard. After resting in one of the trees, you find Applejack trying to harvest all the apples for something called "Applebuck Season" and (thanks to disguising yourself as Twilight) find out that Twilight cast a spell on Applejack that will allow her instincts to flare when a disguised changeling is nearby. You decide to help the clearly fatigued Applejack harvest all the apples ("Vow to Luna to be good, remember?") and befriend her little sister, Applebloom, which comes in handy when she helps you escape from Applejack and Rainbow Dash (the two mares who the most aggressively anti-you).

"Ahh Derpy, nice mare, if a little clumsy. I hope I can meet her again someday. And it was a great exercise bucking all those apples, and I felt great for helping Applejack, even though she hates my guts." You say to the narrator. You then get a mischievous grin as you say "Oh, and Applejack and Rainbow are totally marefriends!"

"NO WE'RE NOT!" Applejack and Rainbow scream as they begin to chase you.

"Ahhhhhhh, leave me alone you crazy fillyfoolers!" You scream in fear as you run away from the crazy mares.

Soooo that happned. Where was I...oh yeah. *Ahem* You then end up following the Mane 6 when they go up a mountain to deal with a dragon (who you called "Smaug") that was endangering Ponyville with his smoky snoring. You covertly assist the mares, directly saved Fluttershy's life a few times, and held off the angry dragon so they could escape, but the fight caused you to get severely injured and knocked off the mountain. You awaken in Zecora's hut some time later where she befriended and healed you. Not only do you find out you have a mark on your chest that looks like this, but a little alicorn filly with a big appetite and a habit of sleeping heavily in "The Inventory" for long periods of time jumps out of "The Inventory" and claims to be your daughter (you name her "Nightshade"). You also gain a black hooded coat that also completely hides your face in darkness when your hood is up. You put on the coat and go to the Ponyville library in hopes of finding a way to contact Cadance, but another encounter with Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight forces you to emergency-teleport and end up in the Royal Castle in front of Cadance... but also in front of her husband, Shining Armor as well as Princesses Celestia and Luna.

"Huh... huh.... huh. *Cough* Hehehe sorry, I remember the Smaug fight. Kicked him real good in his eye, and then went though unimaginable pain as I was literally used as his personal punching bag. Broke several of my bones before throwing me off the mountain and into a river." You shudder at the memory before you say "Oh, but I got him back good. I Fus Ro Dah-ed him before he threw me off." You say with smugness in your voice, you then laugh as you say "The awesome cloak I got is just super cool. It makes me feel like a stealthy assassin from Assassin's Creed whenever I wear it! Attempts to make a hidden retractable blade for it have been... painful so I gave up on that idea." You say sheepishly.

Anyway, back to the recap: Luna casts a truth spell on you which makes you say some very incriminating things when Nightshade pops out during this altercation, but Princess Luna calls for her execution. This leads to a confrontation in which you assault the Royals with the Royal Canterlot Voice to protect your daughter (it was also the first time you heard a *snap* followed by your eyes glowing orange and increased abilities whenever Nightshade is in danger) and escape with the help of Doctor Hooves and Derpy (but you also end up massively in debt to the Time Lord because of this) which leads to you ending up in the Everfree forest again.

"Have I mentioned yet that I really hate that forest? No? Well... I REALLY HATE THAT FOREST." You scream to the heavens in annoyance and hate for the forest you always get stuck in.

While in the forest, you decide to take up the hooded/coated identity of "The Hooded Offender" and rescue the Cutie Mark Crusaders from a Cockatrice and discover that Fluttershy remembers and is grateful to you for saving her and her friends ("Another friend! YAY!!!"). Unfortunately, a misunderstanding with Twilight (circumstances and misunderstandings keep causing the rest of the Mane 6 to still think you're a bad bug) leads to her blasting you to Manehattan where you awaken in Trixie's cart. You find out that "The Hooded Offender" is the most wanted fugitive in Equestria (nopony knows "The Hooded Offender" is a changeling though) and you hatch a scheme with Trixie to stage a fight in Ponyville where Trixie would "defeat" you so that she can collect the reward money, bail you out, and split it with you. When the day of the fight comes, you accidentally hurt Applejack which makes Applebloom hate you and Trixie stabs you in the back. You break out during an attack on the town by an Ursa Minor, but Trixie's cart gets smashed (you had Nightshade to stay in that cart to keep her safe...). Thinking that your daughter is dead causes the first appearance of the "Nightmare Cloak", a midnight-colored smoky cloak that appears around you and gives you a long smoky fox tail. You use the Nightmare Cloak to beat up the Ursa Minor and the Mane 5 in a despair-and-rage-fueled beatdown egged on by a dark whisper in your head.

"Became a superhero, which was awesome by the way! But every time I tried to say my introduction, I would always get zapped by Twilight, and I even got run over down by an insane TARDIS-colored pegasus mare named Lighting Chaser." You said in a annoyed ronw on how your super cool intro would always get interrupted.

You then sigh sadly as you say "As for the accidentally hurting Applejack, losing Applebloom's friendship, being betrayed by Trixie, and thinking my daughter was dead... I really don't want to talk about it. But I will say one thing, if Trixie ever tries to mess with me again... *snap* Then she better know how to run... fast." You say the last part in a deadly tone.

Fortunately, your daughter arrives in time to snap you out of it, but an Ursa Major (the mommy of the Ursa Minor) appears. You teleport the Mane 5 back to safety before Fluttershy helps you escape the Ursa Major and you emergency-teleport to the small western/desert town of Appleloosa. Appleloosa essentially becomes your new home as the townsfolk don't care that you're a changeling and your best friend there is a cowpony named Braeburn. After 8 weeks in Appleloosa, you run into the Mane 6 again and are forced to take up the mantle of "The Hooded Offender" in order to settle a dispute between the ponies and the local tribe of buffalo by making both side unite against you.

You smile at the memory of your home town as you say "The first day in Appaloosa was nice, Braeburn (my best friend now) told me that Appleloosa was a place of second chances, and boy was he right! The ponies, griffions, and the other residents of Appleloosa accepted me right on the spot and din't care I was a changeling (they'd even cover for me when out-of-towners came by)."

You chuckle at some funny memory's you have of your first couple of days in Appaloosa before you say "I had a great eight weeks there and even got a nickname! 'Bugze the Patcher' they called me, I would patch anything they needed patched with my duct tape, vice-grips, and WD-40. Of course, all good things have to come to a end eventually."

Your smile fades away as you say sadly "Not only were the mares (Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy (I'm happy she's here at least...)) in town, but also Appleloosa and the buffalo tribe were going to war (I didn't even know the buffalo were a problem in the first place). After both sides sung a really species-ist war song, I decided that the only to stop the war was to give them a common enemy... Me. So after beating up/getting beaten up by the townsfolk, I decide to lay low."

You decided to lay low for awhile by hopping on the next train out of town, but the Mane 6 board the same train you're in! After another misadventure on the train involving the Mane 6 and a TARDIS-colored Pegasus mare named Lightning Chaser, you are forced to bail out of the train while it's still in motion and end up tumbling into the Everfree Forest. You encounter the Diamond Dogs who try to foalnap Nightshade to force her to mine gems for them, but one Nightmare Cloak-beatdown later and the Diamond Dogs make you, "The Hooded Offender", their new alpha. You dub your new minions "The Horde" and attempt to get them to think for themselves for the sake of good by giving them obviously idiotic orders in hopes they will reject them, but they blindly go along with the orders (while Spot frequently tries to kill you in hopes of becoming the new alpha and you obliviously manage to avoid all his coup attempts) which leads to them stealing 40 cakes (and that's terrible), capturing a squad of Royal Guard Ponies, and plotting to foalnap Princess Celestia and her pet bird, Philomena. From the captured ponies (which included Flash Sentry), you learn that Princess Cadance is going to be at something called "The Grand Galloping Gala" so you decide to take a break from your boneheaded minions and visit Fluttershy who asks you to help find Philomena (Fluttershy thought the bird was sick and took her to her home while nopony was looking) which leads to you getting caught by the solar monarch in a trap sprung by her and the other 5 mares (Fluttershy was NOT involved in the trap) in Ponyville. One confrontation later (which involved a failed hostage bluff which resulted in the captured Royal Guardponies being free again, you being set on fire by a Phoenix (Thank Luna your hooded coat is fireproof), "The Horde" surrendering to Princess Celestia, and you barely escaping via teleport), you decide to go to the Grand Galloping Gala in hopes of finding Cadance and having a few questions answered.

"Of course with Lady luck on my case, not only did I have to jump off a stinking train, but I also got minions I never wanted in the first place! Then I sang a song about a plan so crazy that it shouldn't have worked, yet I had idiot minions thinking the plan was actually good. Next thing I know, I'm in the middle of a plot to kind-nap the sun goddess and her pet bird!" You say in a shocked and annoyed tone.

"Then I give those numbskulls an obviously stupid order to launch a head-on assault a guard patrol, thinking they would mess up and learn to not listen to me. But, of course, they succeeded. They bring back the guards and I end up interrogating their leader, Strong Head and almost turned him from a unicorn stallion into an earth pony mare with vice-grips for his complete arrogant disregard for his stallions (I really hate arrogant braggarts)." You say though gritted teeth.

"I then get caught by Solar-flank herself via box trap (THE BOX BETRAYED ME!). I then try to bluff my way to safety by saying I could end her guards at any second, but Spot (who has been trying to kill me for awhile apparently) ruined it. Then I was set on fire by Celestia's pet bird (thank you fireproof coat), and I admit I may have went a little tiny bit loco and started chasing everyling... while laughing like a maniac... while on fire... and shouting how I would burn them alive and eat their burned flesh... Okay, maybe I went completely Cuckoo for Coco Puffs-" You chuckle in embarrassment before the narrator stops you by clearing it's throat.

*Ahem* You bought a suit and top hat and went to the Grand Galloping Gala under the alias of the gentlestallion, "El Hunko" along with Nightshade, who also wore a dress(you got tickets to the GGG from a mysterious "friend" who you never met who sends you letters that appear out of nowhere, and the mysterious friend has also given you The Inventory and your awesome Cloak). After some antics at the Gala (including an impromptu rock concert for which you changed from your "El Hunko" suit to your hooded coat), you finally meet Cadance who tells you about Nightmare Moon (Princess Luna believes that Nightshade is the reincarnation of Nightmare Moon which is why she's so determined to apprehend/end you and Nightshade), but before she can answer any more of your questions, her husband, Shining Armor, walks in forcing you to flee. However, Prince Blueblood (who've you humiliated several times during the Gala) gets his hooves on Nightshade which provokes you into kicking his flank. The battle escalates as more ponies get involved which culminates in the Nightmare Cloak reaching an unstable state as the dark whisper from before (who you call the "Dark Female Voice" or DFV) takes over and brutally knocks out almost everypony at the gala and critically damages the building, but with help from Cadance, Fluttershy, and Nightshade you are able to take back control from the DFV. Unfortunately, the gala starts to collapse and you sacrifice yourself so everypony could escape as the building crashes down on you...

"Ahhh the gala, now that was one of my best prank moments to be honest. I broke Flash's guitar on Blueblood's head, tripped Blueblood into some hot apple pie, zapped Celestia with a hoofbuzzer, planted a few "kick me" signs, put diarrhea-inducing powder in some of the food (the only food that Nightshade didn't devour), and even dropped every snobby monocle in the room with a rock concert!" You smile sadly as you say that because you didn't bring your camera with you so that you could forever have a picture of those nobles faces as they made a mad dash for the restroom.

You then sigh sadly as you say "But sadly the DFV inside me took control as I went into a very unstable and dangerous form of the Nightmare Cloak, where I grew devil horns and gained three fox tails. The DFV went crazy, claiming that she was my only friend and how I would spend eternity with her as she tried to kill everyling.*shiver* That was just creepy. Also, on a happier note, she managed to make sure Blueblood never could have foals by giving him what has been called The Ultimate Nutshot. I still feel a little bad for him, but he'll heal... Probably... Maybe..." He you say that last part in uncertainty.

NOT! You used the gala collapse to fake the death of "The Hooded Offender" and after donning your "El Hunko" suit, you visited Spike at Donut Joe's before boarding the next train to Appleloosa.

"I can now say that 'faking my own death' is now off my bucket list. Now if only 'eat 1,000 different cakes' could be as easy as that cause so far, I've only eaten 29." You say to yourself as you start to drool at all the delicious cakes flavors you could eat (Celestias love for cakes must be addictive).

Half a year later and you're now living in Appleloosa in a nice cozy house with Nightshade with nothing notable happening during those 6 months... With the exception of fighting off an army of Secretariat Comet-powered monsters, going to your own secret memorial service held by your fans ("I have fans, YES!!!"), and accidentally setting part of the apple orchard on fire (in retrospect, WD-40 probably isn't the best gardening tool). Life was good... Until a TARDIS blue envelope popped up in your mail one day and inside a letter from the Doctor saying,

Dear Bugze,

If you wish to pay off your debt without having to pay me all those bits.
Then please come by Canterlot immediately.

From,

The Doctor

P.S. Derpy says hi

P.P.S. Derpy says you're going in a time out for making her think you're dead

After you read the letter, you could only say,

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to get involved with alot of chaos and that I won't be in Appleoosa for a long time?" You say to yourself in both a deadpanned and worried tone.

To be continued in the actual season 2 episode 1

WARNING: BUGZE ONLY BREAKS THE FORTH WALL HERE AND NO WHERE ELSE IN THIS STORY!

Author's Notes:

SKILLS AND ITEMS RECAP

Skills You Know:
Royal Canterlot Voice
"Fus Ro Dah" shout
"No Shadow Kick" attack (Flurry of midair kicks)
"Falcon Punch" attack (Charged-up punch)
"Shoryuken" attack (Rising spinning uppercut)
Stun spell
Force Field spell
Teleport spell (Unreliable as short-range teleport often causes you to fall onto hard objects and long-range teleport randomly places you anywhere in Equestria)
Advanced Healing (Apparently)
Shape Shifting (Unreliable as it only lasts a short time before failing at the worst moment)
Transformation spell (only works on Nightshade)
"Zoom" (Incantation spell that gives you long-range telescopic vision, but gives you a headache when spell is over)
"Nightmare Cloak" (Midnight-colored smoke that surrounds you and gives you increase abilities and a long smokey fox tail, but only activates when Nightshade is in danger and the whole "*snap*-followed-by-glowing-orange-eyes" thing has already happened)
-Side Effects Include But Not Limited To: A dark whisper (that you call the DFV (Dark Female Voice)) urging you to be more malicious and violent when not trying to take control of you, increased feral aggression, access to more powerful supermoves, horns, fangs, and more tails appearing the long the fight drags on

Items you possess:
Brown pouch with 80 Bits in it
The Inventory (Saddlebag that's bottomless on the inside and in order to use it, just calmly think of whatever you need, reach in, and grab it)
Your awesome hooded black coat (Fireproof and completely hides your face in darkness when the hood is up)
"Royal Canterlot Voice For Dummies" book
"How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book (Book teaches you how to say everyday phrases and references in overly fancy ways. For example, "No." becomes "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.")
"Stun Spells and You" book
"Kung-Fu For Dummies" book
All Six Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories
Vise-Grips
Several rolls of duct tape
Several cans of WD-40
List of all your powers and spells
Note with your debt to The Doctor
Nightshade's crayon drawing of you
Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it (Releases a shockwave when slammed end-first into the ground)
Potion Sash (Current Reserve: 2 Healing Potions and 3 Stink Bombs (you made them a few mouths after your memorial)
Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace
"El Hunko" suit and purple top hat
Orange bandanna
Stetson hat

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Here it is the season one recap. I hope I did a good job with the dialogue and editing what my editor, Kersey475, gave me (he helped me make the re cap)

I'll see you all Monday for when the actual season two starts, also heres a question for you all

What Season two episodes from MLP season 2 do you want Bugze to be in this season?

Come on Hive Mind, Let me know which season two episodes you want to see. BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 1: Weirdest. Sight. Ever!

*sigh*

You sigh for what feel like the hundredth time as you walk though the Everfree forest (you finally learned this stupid forest's name last month when you ran into the sign that said 'Everfree forest' at the forest entrance) towards Ponyville. Now I know what your thinking,

Why are you heading to the one place that has caused you nothing but trouble for the past year?

Well you see it's quite simple, yesterday you, Bugze the changeling, got a TARDIS-colored letter from the Doctor to come to Canterlot immediately so that you could pay off the 10,000,000,000,000,000 bits of debt you owe him (and also get a time out from Derpy for making her think you were dead). You decided that this would be a better way to pay off your debt than actually getting all those bits, so after a good night's sleep, breakfast, and telling Braeburn that you were off to visit a friend in Canterlot, you headed off.

Unfortunately for you, the train station in town has been closed for maintenance (you offered to help, you being "The Patcher" and all that, but they told you to leave it to the professionals) so you had to walk to the next train station to get a ride to Canterlot. Sadly, the closest train station is in Ponyville which is why you're now walking down the path in the Everfree forest towards it. You're sighing because you're supposed to be dead!

Ugh... I fake my own death to protect eneryling from what's inside of me so of course half a year later I have to go back into the thick of enemy territory through the worst forest in the world just to go to the front door of the sun and moon controlling goddesses who'd want me dead if they knew I was still alive! You'd think someone with a time machine which doubles as a spaceship would be able to meet somewhere more safe and convenient like an erupting volcano or the middle of a hoofball riot! Okay, game plan: get to the train station without anyling noticing me, hop on the next train to Canterlot ASABP (as soon as bucking possible), and lay low till Canterlot.

Right now you're wearing your "El Hunko" suit which is really annoyingly inconvenient for you since it's your best suit, but the suit's neck gait, pants, cape, and long sleeves do a good job of covering your changeling features (wings, fangs, holed limbs, etc.) since your shapeshifting power has repeatedly proven itself to be very unreliable. At least you're also wearing your favorite Stetson hat.

You also decided to pack some supplies just in case something happened on your way there. You've fought some of the creatures that live in this forest (a chickzard (which Nightshade would later inform you is actually a Cockatrice) and Ursa Minor to name a few and you even just defeated a pack of timberwolves a few minutes ago with just your staff), so you know that you should have some stuff with you. In addition to currently wearing your potion sash (Current Reserve: 2 Healing Potions and 3 Stink Bombs) around your chest beneath your suit and Nightshade is currently asleep in The Inventory (or her bedroom as she likes to call it), you are wearing The Inventory and you put this stuff in it:

INVENTORY
Brown pouch with 80 Bits in it
Your awesome hooded black coat (you may have retired as the Hooded Offender, but it never hurts to have a fireproof coat that has a hood that hides your face in darkness. Might come in handy)
"How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book (A little class could go a long way)
"Kung-Fu For Dummies" book (Learn some new moves on the trip to Canterlot)
All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories (You've gotten up to the last book in the novel series "The Valley of Fear")
Used History Textbook (You got it really cheap due to it being worn with many missing pages)
"Animals, Nature, and You" book (Nightshade's taken a shine to learning about animals and nature so you brought it along so she can continue her homeschooling)
Patching supplies (Vise-Grips, several rolls of duct tape, and several cans of WD-40. Never leave home without them)
List of all your powers and spells
Note with your debt to The Doctor
Nightshade's crayon drawing of you (You would have put it in a frame, but this picture will always give you hope when you look at it, so you decided to keep it)
Magic black staff with a red crystal on top of it (You're currently using it as a walking stick/thing-poker)
Pink "Lover's Jewel" Necklace (you haven't found a safer place to put yet, so you decide to keep it)
Orange Bandanna
Purple Top Hat (Normally goes with the "El Hunko" suit, but your Stetson is just more comfortable)

As you're walking towards the forest exit (you can see the light at the end of the path... No you're not heading towards that kind of light) you start to think,

Huh, it's been so long since I've been to Ponyville. Maybe if I'm lucky I won't be chased, shot at, tackled, punched, bucked, or set on fire this time. I could even visit Flut-No... They can never know. Fluttershy, Zecora, can never kno-What the hay...?

You stop your mental rambling as you walk out of the forest to see an... interesting sight. There appear to be pink clouds raining a brown liquid (you have the weirdest hunch that those are cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk), but what's really interesting is the fact that a hoard of rabbits with super long legs are chasing after a mint green unicorn...

You just stare blankly at the scene for a few seconds before saying...

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm somehow going to get blamed for this..."

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

HERE IT IS! THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON 2! AS LUNA WOULD SAY "HUZZAH"

I know it is short but hey, it's the first episode and there are no comments yet.

Here are episodes that have been conformed to be in season two...

Return of Harmony Part 1 & 2 (no duh there)
Luna Eclipsed
The Mysterious Mare Do Well
Ponyville Confidential
Hearts and Hooves Day
MMMystery on the Friendship Express
Lesson Zero

First I would like to say that these will not be the only episodes in this season, these are just the ones that have been confirmed to be in. New episodes can be added at any time. Second, like last season the episodes will be mixed up. They will most likely not appear in canon order, so don't expect that.

Anyway, today's question is....

What should this season's theme song be?

What do you think this seasons theme song be? Give me a good one Hive Mind, cause this time I swear I will actually put it in this time....BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 2: Here We Go Again.

Theme

First things first, let's try to get our bearings on the situatio- Is that a table and chairs made out of red velvet cake?
So after you and Nightshade consumed the red velvet cake furniture (which turned into blue velvet cake halfway through)
A few possibilities for how all this happened fly through your buggy head:
- The Doctor's time machine is malfunctioning and it's bringing all of Equestria down with it.
- Pinkie discovered how to use magic, and accidentally broke reality in an attempt to throw the biggest party the multiverse had ever seen.
- Aliens from space have invaded and as a result, disrupted the fragile magic balance that keeps the world in check.
- It's opposite day.

You stop and watch dumbfounded at this occurrence and proceed to go through the possible causes. After some thinking you decide that it's just mother nature, but a voice that sounds like Q from star trek continuously laughs at the back of your mind.

As you continue to stare at the strangeness in front of you with a dumbfounded look, you can't help but think,

You know, considering how I have a psychotic DFV (Dark Female Voice) inside me, a daughter that literally lives in a bottomless saddlebag, a mysterious 'friend' who gave me said saddlebag and my awesome faceless coat, and the fact that I've survived multiple situations that should be sudden death, you'd think I would be used to this kind of stuff by now...

As you think this a frog and a snake that have been blown up like balloons, as well as a giant lizard with a butt for a face go by you.

But this... this is just plain nuts.

As you continue to look around the area you see crazier and crazier things. Like a giant lion head attached to a octopus body, a walking pitcher of some sort of red drink smashing through walls, a blue hedgehog running super fast while wearing red shoes, and even a stinking green ghost ship flying though the air. You can't help but think,

What could have caused this? Is reality caving in on us? Have I been trapped in someling's personal toy box? Is The Doctor's TARDIS malfunctioning and it's bringing all of Equestria down with it?! Has the laws of physics finally taken too much strain and are failing? Is it opposite day? Did I get drunk again (last time you got smashed... let's just say Appaloosa was condemned for almost a month, you were put in a straightjacket, and you had a MASSIVE hangover)? Oh no... PINKIE TURNED INTO AN ALICORN! THE END IS NEIGH! THE END IS NE*smack*

You slap yourself mid thought as you try to calm down.

Focus bug! There's noway an earth pony, or anypony actually, can become a alicorn. That just sounds like a cheap way to sell toys.

In another dimension, millions of middle aged men and women nod their heads in agreement. After finally calming yourself down, you begin to think,

Okay, so the world is either turning upside down or I've gone crazy. That's fine, that's okay. It's probably just mother nature and every other deity out there having some fun. Yeah, that's it...

For some reason you hear what sounds like Q from Star Trot laugh in your mind. You shrug it off as your imagination as you think,

I just need to-is that a table and chairs made out of red velvet cake?

Your thoughts are interrupted as you see the tasty looking furniture in front of you. Nightshade, waking up now of all times (when you want that filly awake, she's out like a light, but when you don't expect her to wake up she's a ball of energy), sees the velvet cake furniture in front of her and says,

"Daddy... are we in delicious heaven?"

You nod your head dumbly as you say,

"Honey... it's time to join the madness, BANZAI!"

And with that, you and Nightshade dive into the red velvet furniture.

Drink the chocolate milk! All of the chocolate milk! All of it!

Nightshade pops out and starts drinking the chocolate milk rain (while also being upset that she can't fly to eat the cotton candy clouds) before joining in on devouring the chocolate-milk-filled cotton candy clouds, popcorn field, and giant apples (it's been a while since breakfast so you join her, but the apples taste different with every bite for some reason)

MULTIPLE FURNITURE MADE OF SWEETS AND OTHER STRANGE FOODS LATER

After eating the red velvet furniture (which turned into blue velvet halfway though for some reason), you and Nightshade continued to devour the strange food that was popping up. From apples twice the size of your head (that changed taste with each bite for some reason), to the rain which you can now confirm is chocolate milk (you even heard a deep-voiced pile of apples singing about it... somehow before Nightshade pounced on it and devoured it mid-song). But what was really strange is that whenever you or Nightshade thought of a food you wanted, you would hear a laugh and then that food would pop up! You shrugged it off as the weird new world's logic. You put a now asleep Nightshade (she fell asleep inside a giant Cookie Cake Pie which was just adorable) back into her bedroom and you're about to leave for the train station (which, from what you can see, is the only thing not touched by all this craziness) when...

You turn around about to walk away until you hear a scream.

You shout, "IT MUST BE RABBIT SEASON!" and No Shadow Kick into the hoard of rabbits chasing the unicorn, scattering them. You turn to the unicorn as smile, saying "If only there were some ducks around, too."
She looks at you blankly.
You chuckle. "'Cause then you could say, 'No, it's duck season.' And then I say 'Rabbit season!' And you say, 'Duck season' again. And..."
She quirks an eyebrow at you.
You sigh. "Just got back and I'm already 0-for-1 on the references. Brilliant."

"SOMEPONY HELP ME!!"

You turn around in alarm as you see the mint green unicorn still getting chased by the rabbits with long legs. You chuckle in embarrassment as you think,

Oops, forgot about her.

You run and jump between the unicorn and the rabbits with long legs, causing the pony and rabbits to stop in shock at your appearance. You smile as you shout,

"IT MUST BE RABBIT SEASON! NO SHADOW KICK!"

And with that you jump forward with a flurry of kicks at the rabbits. The kicks do their job as you send most of the rabbits flying back. But, there're still two left and they charge at you. You smirk as you shout

"CAUSE YOU'RE GOING EXTINCT! FALCON PUNCH!"

With that you slam the flame-encased punch into the first charging bunny, sending it smashing into the bunny behind it and they both go flying into the sky and off into the distance. You give a small chuckle as you look over to the dumbfounded unicorn as you say,

"Now if only there were some ducks with hooves around, too."

You chuckle some more at your joke, until you notice the unicorn giving you a blank look, so you then say,

"Cause then you could say, 'No, it's duck season.' And then I say 'Rabbit season!' And you say, 'Duck season' again. And..."

You stop trying to explain your joke as the unicorn mare just tilts her head and raises an eyebrow at you in confusion. You sigh in defeat and mutter,

"Just got back and I'm already 0-for-1 on the references. Brilliant. Where's Flash when you need him..."

Lyra says something about humans, hands, and/or worries about where Bon Bon is

The unicorn mare just gives you a strange look before smiling and saying,

"Thanks for saving me dude, name's Lyra." the now named Lyra looks around worriedly and asks "Hey, have you seen a mare earth pony around here named Bon Bon?"

You look behind her as you say,

"Does she have a beige coat and a pigment blue mane with a rose pink streak?"

She looks as you surprised and says,

"Yeah! That's exactly what she looks like! Do you know where she is?"

You simply point behind her in response. She looks confused before she turns around and sees... the mare she was talking about floating away. The mare looks down and screams,

"LYRA, HELP ME!"

Lyra gasps in shock and horror before she starts to run after the mare as she shouts,

"HOLD ON BONNY, I'MA COMING!"

You just stare blankly at her retreating form as you say...

You decide that A this isn't your problem

"Okay, I'm not gonna get involved in that, she can handle saving... 'Bonny.' As for me..." You turn to the train station as you say, "I have a train to catch before something happens to it like.. I don't know, suddenly turning blue, growing a face, and starts taking orders from some fat guy in a top hat."

After a brunch break, get on a train to Canterlot, only for the Mares to also be on that train

ONE HOUR LATER

You stare intently at the book you're reading as you are walking down the hall to the train's bathroom (what is with you and needing to go to the bathroom on trains?). You paid for your ticket (66 Bits left), got on the train an hour ago, and you've been reading "The Valley of Fear" the entire time. You're at the climax of the book, so when you had to... ahem "go" you decided to just read the book on your way there, As you're reading the book, you don't notice the pony in front of you levitating a bunch of scrolls. You're about to look up, *thud* but it's too late. You and the pony collide, sending the pony's scrolls and your book across the train floor. You both mutter apologies before beginning to pick up the scrolls. As you hoof the last scroll to the pony, the pony hoofs you your book. As you look up you say,

"Thank yo-" You stop mid sentence as you see...

Twilight Sparkle giving you a apologetic smile. All you can do is stare at her blankly with a feeling that you're going to have to do alot of running soon. As you continue to stare, you can't help but think in a grim tone,

Here we go again...

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

And so the cycle...begins again

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

So, quick thing is that I have a blog with a 2 contest in it, one for writing and one for drawing. It ends on Friday this week, so check it out!

Also, can any of you name all the references made this chapter?

If you didn't click the link named 'theme' for some reason than you should know that the new theme is....

Here We Go Again

Congrats to Kersey for suggesting it. Now today's question it...

What should the outro be?

What song should play at the end in each chapter? You decide! BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 3: Meeting The Deadly Five...Again

Theme

Well, you still needed that restroom break, so you'll use that excuse. If it weren't occupied that is...
New plan! Distract yourself from your bladder and talk interesting books!

As you continue to stare at Twilight, you begin to think of ways to get out of this situation... and by that I mean you're mentally panicking like a little school filly who forgot her essay that accounted for 70% of the class grade.

WHAT DO I DO! WHATDOIDO! I finally manage to get her off my case, and now she's right in front of me! What if she finds out I'm a changeling! I'm only wearing the El Hunko suit for Luna's sake! Oh no.... what if she somehow finds out that I'm the Hooded Offender! Who knows how much trouble I'll get in if she found out! I... I would have to face those Luna-awful fillyfoolers again! Oh not good, not good, NOT GOOD!!!

Your back legs begin to buckle in fear at just the thought of those two mares. Out of all the Deadly Five (a little nickname you made up for them after you almost got squashed by a huge number five sign back in Appleloosa), Applejack and Rainbow Dash are the ones that scare you the most. There was just this creepy look in their eyes whenever they were chasing you or beating you to a pulp that just terrified you. That and the fact that they're the strongest of the five doesn't help. Twilight seems to notice your buckling legs and asks,

"Hey sir, are you okay? You're shaking."

You're snapped out of your mental panic/rambling when she says that as you quickly cough into your sleeve before quickly blurting out in a panicked tone,

"What? I'm not shaking. You're the one that's shaking. In fact everypony is shaking and I'm the only one who's not shaking. Yeah that's it..hahahahahah LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Twilight just looks at you strangely with an expression that says 'you're out of your mind'. You realize what you just said as you chuckle nervously before saying,

"Eheheh, uh... what I meant to say was... uhhhhh. *ding*"

You suddenly get an idea as you remember why you bumped into Twilight in the first place as you say,

"Ah, you see I'm shaking because I really need to go-" You stop mid sentence as you see someling walk right into the bathroom that's down the hall. You can't help but stare in shock and horror as you think,

Why lady luck... why must you torture me with your sadistic ways. CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU YOU BATHROOM DENIER!

Twilight looks at you confused as you angrily shake your hoof towards the sky. She just shakes her head as she says,

"Go where,exactly?"

You stare blankly at Twilight, before you suddenly blurt out,

"HEY DO YOU LIKE THE BOOK I'M READING?" and shove the book in her face.

Twilight recoils in surprise at your outburst (you think she would have run away screaming by now, but obviously she must have seen some freaky stuff if she's... Oh yeah, she saw the Hooded Offender), but then she smiles as she says...

She gasps. "Ooh, the Valley of Fear. I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills--"
You shove your hooves to your ears. "Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!"
"Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you." With that, Twilight walks away.
You bury your face in your hooves. Of course the other mares are here. And even in the El Hunko suit, Twilight didn't like you. You're going to need all of your cunning if you want to avoid the rest of them.
...
You're doomed.

"Oh, the Valley of Fear. I love this book! I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills-"

Your eyes widen in shock as you quickly shove your hooves to your ears and loudly say,

"Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!"

Twilight looks at you confused (for the eighth hundredth today), before she realizes about to say and shes facehoofs as she says,

"Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you."

You bury your face in your hooves as Twilight continues to give you a innocent smile. You then think in despair,

Of course the other mares are here. It wouldn't be the Deadly Five if the other four weren't-. Wait, then that means... Fluttershy is here! It'll be great to see her agai-Oh yeah, the whole 'supposed to be dead' thing. *sigh* There goes that idea...

You then remember that Twilight is still in front of you, so you quickly excuse yourself as you head back to your seat on the other side of the train (sadly being forced to hold back your bladder all the way there). As you walk back to your train cart, you bump into another pony, as you look up to see who it is, you see...

Oh, and Rarity makes a comment about your garish and clashing suit and hat at some point.

Rarity confronts you and you panic and think you're cover's blown... but then she comments on the fashion faux pas you committed by wearing a suit with a stetson.
She then recognizes you from the Grand Galloping Gala... As the gentlepony who told off Prince Blueblood before "accidentally" knocking him into the wall. Maybe you should get out the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book...

Rarity giving you a horrified look. No, seriously, she has head recoiled in fear, hoof over mouth in fright, and she's shaking uncontrollably. You start to panic as you think that she has figured out that you were a changeling (somehow). Before you get a chance to say anything, she points at you and screams in pure terror,

"SWEET CELESTIA, LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT! YOU LOOK LIKE A HILLBILLY TRYING TO PASS AS A NOBLESTALLION!"

Your raise your hooves up defensively as you say,

"Wait, I can expl-wait...what!?"

It takes you a few seconds to realize what Rarity screamed at you and when you do, you look at her strangely as you say in your gentleclot voice (you figured that since it's Rarity, it would be better to just talk to her like the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" taught you to talk)

"Madam... are you mortified at my attire? I mean it's just a beautifully hoof-crafted custom suit and a dashing stetson. And allow me to disclose to you. madam, that this stetson is far more comfortable on my head then my purple top hat this suit is normally accompanied by."

Rarity continues to look at you in horror, but slowly that look changed from horror to realization as she says,

"Wait a minute, that suit, a purple top hat, that magnificent gentlecolt voice, aren't you-"

Before she gets a chance to finish, you notice that one of the bathroom doors open. So, deciding that your bladder control was more important, you tell Rarity,

"Sorry Madam, but my tank needs emptying!"

And with that you charge towards the bathroom. Sadly you're too late as another stallion beats you to it. And by the sounds coming from the other side of the door, you don't think you'll be using that bathroom... ever again.

After you painstakingly comb the train to make sure Lightning Chaser is not on this train and history is not repeating itself, lock yourself in the bathroom until the train ride is over. However, after 30 minutes or so, a very rude mare begins slamming her hooves on the door until you throw it open and tell the mare to give you some privacy. You quickly cover your mouth when you see the face of a familiar rainbow-maned fillyfooler.

You decide to distract yourself from your bladder by searching the train for Lightning Chaser, You know it's unlikely that the crazy pegasus would be here (last you heard of her, she was wanted by the Griffion Empire for burning down a shine dedicated to M. Night Shyamalamadingdong (which you are glad that happened)) but you just want to make sure history isn't repeating itself. After finding no sign of her (and almost running into Fluttershy, but luckily you got squashed behind a huge white pegasus with tiny wings before she saw you. It was a very... interesting experience for sure) you look for an open bathroom. After searching for a few minutes, you finally found an unoccupied one. Begging lady luck to give you a break, you make a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankfully, you get there before anyling else and you begin to do your businesses.

Okay Bugze, when you get back to your seat (or even when you get on the can), just stay calm and read the "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book and learn:
Psycho Crusher: Launch yourself forward and spin like a bullet while covered in orange energy to knock through groups of enemies or flimsy windows, doors, or even really thin walls (Warning: Improper use of this technique can lead to headaches or concussions)
AND/OR
Izuna Drop: Embrace a midair opponent before pointing both of you headfirst towards the ground, Then fall while spinning so opponent slams headfirst into the ground.

As you are taking care of "business", you decide to read "Kung-Fu For Dummies" since you figured it would never hurt to know a few new moves to protect yourself and Nightshade. As you're flipping though the book, a move catches your eye. It's called Psycho Crusher. Now this is probably your inner DFV talking, but based on the name and description, this move sounds awesome!

This move causes the user to launch himself forward and spin like a bullet while covered in orange energy to knock through groups of enemies or weak/flimsy structures such as really thin walls or glass windows. Warning: Improper use of this technique may result in headaches, concussions, and/or brain damage.

I think my head has been hit and smashed enough times that it won't hurt too much if I use it improperly...

You familiarize yourself with the steps on how to perform the attack, and you make a mental note to practice later.

Learned "Psycho Crusher"

Just as you're about to continue reading the book for more moves, someling starts banging on the bathroom door. You try to ignore it at first, but you can't take it anymore as banging has been going on for ten minutes. So with a annoyed sigh, you "finish", get up, and walk over to the door. You swing it open angrily as you yell,

"WHAT DO YOU BLOODY WANT, THIS TOILET IS... oc... cu... pied."

You stop yelling as you see who was banging the door...

A very mad looking rainbow-maned fillyfooler. You stare at each other for another minute or so, before Rainbow suddenly picks you up and throws you out of the way as she yells, "OUTTA THE WAY!" and dashes into the restroom and slams the door. You just stare dumbfounded at the (now closed) bathroom door, and you can only think,

Weirdest. Déjà vu. Ever!

As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom.
"Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; never had any good that came outta them."
"But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked."
Then he just stared blankly at you and sighed. "Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack.
*end flashback
"He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Twilight. "Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and-" Then the rest of the mane 6 show up behind Twilight "Oh screw it."
"AAAAAAAAHH!" you fall onto your back screaming like a little filly.
Twilight :"What is it?! Are you okay?!"
Rarity :"Not with that outfit he's not"
AJ: "Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?"
"AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them.
Somehow they think that means somethings behind them is causing you to scream, and they all turn around.
Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get to you hooves and run, still screaming your head off.
...
"aaaaaaaahh."

You get smacked in the face by the door in front of you, knocking you down. You slowly remove your head from being apart of the wooden menace as you mutter,

"One of these days, I'll walk through a door that doesn't smash my face...."

As you're muttering, you don't notice an orange cowpony walk out from behind the door that was slammed into your face. You finally notice her when she says,

"Ah, sorry pardner, I didn't know ya'll were behind the door, you okay?"

You just stand there and stare at her (you're almost as bad as the buffalo when it comes to staring lately) as you begin to have a mini panic attack. As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom.

"Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; ain't never had any good that came outta them."

"But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked?"

He just stared blankly at you and sighed before continuing,

"Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack.

"He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Applejack before you think,

Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and-

Suddenly Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie, and Twilight show up behind Applejack. You could more-or-less keep your nerves when interacting with them individually, but now that all five of the Deadly Five are here, you can't help just sigh in defeat and think,

Ah, to hay with it.

And with that you take in a deep breath as you start to... scream for your mommy

"AAAAAAAAHH!"

All the mares recoil at your sudden screaming and Twilight worriedly asks,

"What is it?! Are you okay?!"

Rarity just scoffs as she says "Not with that combination he's not"

"Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?" Applejack responds while glaring at Rarity.

"Oh! Maybe he saw that REALLY bad short flick about the two fillies and a cup!" Pinkie rambles.

"AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them. Somehow they think that means something's behind them and they all turn around. Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get back on your hooves and run, still screaming your head off. You then find a closet that you hide in for the fest of the trip to Canterlot...

2 HOURS LATER

Two hours later finds you approaching the castle. If you're wondering why, well you see, as soon as you got off the train, a TARDIS-colored envelope smacked into your face. After you finally managed to tear it off you (literally. It came to life when it hit you and started to trying to devour your face. Yeah... you no longer trust envelopes anymore), you opened it and read the letter inside,

Dear Bugze,

Hello again old chap, The Doctor here.
Now I need you to go to the Canterlot castle please.
When you get there, find a hallway that is full of window paintings.
I'll contact you after you get there.
Also, I need you to wear the Hooded Offender Coat as well.
From,
The Doctor

P.S. Derpy says hi and you're still getting that time-out.

P.P.S. Can you please make sure that Nightshade doesn't eat ALL the jelly babies this time?

P.P.P.S. If by some small chance the envelope eats you, Derpy probably got the-. Then again, if the envelope ate you you wouldn't be reading this right now would't you... nevermind.

After you read it, you reluctantly started to head to the castle. Back to the present, you finally got there after you had to ice-skate/slip down the road to get there after the ground turned into soapy ice. When you got to the castle, you were surprised to see that the gates were open! You just shrug your shoulders as you sneak inside. Once you were in the courtyard, you hid in a bush as you changed from your "El Hunko" suit to your awesome coat. As you put up the hood, you can't help but think...

How in the name of Luna am I even gonna get in there?

Outro

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC

Hey guys and girls and bugs, there is a blog post containing two (heres the link) contest that drawers and writers can enter. It ends Friday next week, and I hope to see some of you decide to try it.

Yesterdays question answer is (if ya couldn't tell) is...

Thery're Coming to take me away.

Congrats to BrownDog77 for suggesting it!

Today's question is...

Who's in school and who's not?

As you guys and girls know, I'm going to highschool as a freshmen right now. So I want to know who among you in the Hive Mind are free from the torture that is school, or are trapped with me sadly. See you all tomorrow...BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 4: Castle Exploring Time 2: Stealthy Visit!

Theme

First, think of what you know won't work:
-The MGS box has failed you 3 for 3 so it's out.
-Applejack can sense changeling disguises so knocking out a guard and taking his/her identity probably won't work.
-Calling out your moves in combat: Good. Calling out your moves while sneaking... not so much (learned that the hard way when you tried to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Understandably, it wase first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad)

You decide to go over everything you know won't work in sneaking into the castle.

Let's see, the Metal Gear Solid box has failed three to three now so that's out (plus I don't see any boxes or crates anywhere nearby). I doubt Twilight cast that changeling detection spell on Applejack considering that I'm 'dead', but I'll play it safe for once and I won't disguise myself as anyling here. Also, calling out my attack moves in combat: good. Doing that while sneaking around: Not so good. Learned that the hard way...

A couple of years ago, you lead a squad of changelings to infiltrate a temple of ninja mules by dressing up like pirates and doing a musical number about how stealthy you are... In broad daylight... During a weapons demonstration... While masters from other temples were visiting. Predictably it all went to Tartarus really quickly (you somehow got a pair of nunchuku, a sai, a katana, a few shrunken, and even a staff lodged into several parts of your body) and your ex-Queen had to personally come in and save your dumb flank. Understandably, it was the first (and only) time your ex-Queen ever allowed you to lead a squad in the field.

My teleport is worthless unless I feel like popping up in, I don't know, in a space station over run with a alien slave species that are controlled by a giant devil monster. So that knocks off... pretty much all my stealth skills besides my unexplained Pony's Creed-style parkour skills and- that's it. Now what can I do?

As you try to think of a way to sneak into the castle, you suddenly have a...

Remember another piece of sagely advice from your Gandbuggy.
"N-now 'hic' Bugshy, big ol' 'hic' plashes never gaurd za looooooosh...
And loooooosh mean 'hic' breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my 'hic' parashute"

A flashback of your grandbuggys sagely advice...

"N-now *hic* %*^^$^, big ol' *hic* plashes never gaurd za looooooosh...
And loooooosh mean *hic* breweries, for full bladdersh. Now help me tie up my *hic* parashute so that I *hic* jump off this here cliff."

You never did understand what grandbuggy was trying to do. You and grandbuggy weren't even anywhere near a cliff! You were both inside the hive at the time and the "parachute" your grandbuggy was referring to was the queen's favorite pillow... at least what was left of it (let's just say grandbuggy really didn't like fluffy things and leave it at that). Of course you got this advice after your grandbuggy got drunk (he's almost as bad as you when he gets drunk... almost). But now you understand it... the 'sneaking into the castle though the brewery' part at least. So, with your new plan in mind, you hop out of the bush you where in and begin to stealthy sneak around the courtyard to look for a entrance to the "brewery".

5 MINUTES LATER

After five minutes of searching, you finally found the entrance to the "brewery" at the back of the castle. You use the term loosely because when you got in by sneaking in though a cellar door, instead of finding barrels of liquor you found that the entire room is filled to the brim with coffee. When you got out though another door on the other side of the room that led into the castle, you found a sign that read...

"CAUTION: PRINCESS LUNA IS NOT ALLOWED IN HERE, KEEP HER OUT AT ALL COSTS! FAILURE TO KEEP HER OUT WILL RESULT IN DESTRUCTION TO THE PALACE AND BODILY HARM TO THE PRINCESS BODY!"

When you read that you could't help but think,

What the?... Is Luna addicted to coffee or something?

You also couldn't help but think of this image and laugh like a maniac at it. After you're done laughing at the image, you begin to use your Pony's Creed skills as you begin to look around for the room full of window paintings. You look to your left to see a really long hallway, to your right is... another long hallway. You sigh as you look in front of you to see... another stinking long hallway! You sigh again and decide to use the best way to decide which way to go,

"Eenie meenie miney moe...."

12 MINUTES LATER

Your ingenious plan of deciding which way to go has led you to choose the left hallway. however as you're sneaking around, you...

While you walk through the castle and sneak through the corridors on the way to the hall of triumphs (that's what I'm calling that room with all the stained glass windows), you hear a splash. looking down you notice a large pool of water forming, as well as a lot of commotion coming from further down one of the hallways.
Deciding to see what's up, you find a mouse in a wizard's cap doing battle with an army of walking brooms as they poor water all over the floor.

Step in a puddle of water?

"What in the name of Luna?"

You look down in confusion as you see that the hallway is now flooding. Deciding to see what's going on, you follow the flow of the water to a closed door a little further down the hall. You are hesitant to open the door out of fear of getting soaked, but you bug up and open the door and see... a pony-sized mouse wearing a red robe and a blue wizard hat with white stars on it fighting off living brooms that have hands that are throwing buckets of water at the mouse. As you continue to stare, you can't help but mumble,

"What in the name of Luna am I seeing?"

You rub your eyes to see if you're imaging it all and when you look again you are saddened to see that you're still looking at the strange scene. Finally deciding that you've had enough of this strangeness and chalking it all up to whatever is causing all the other strange stuff that's been happening, you slowly turn around and whisper "Nope" as you quickly run away to the right hallway.

17 MINUTES LATER

Your Grandbuggery and his sagely advice rings in your ears
"Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way no one will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. Damned kids and their dog, I would've gotten away with it too..."
The best way to cover your coat would be to find the royal kitchen (or any kitchen for that matter) and cover yourself in flour. That way if you are ever found out, you can claim to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender and scare everyone away. This plan is Genius!!!

You find yourself opening another door along the right hallway. You've been doing this stealthy for awhile now, hoping to find the hall full of window art the Doctor told you to meet him at. The door you just opened appears to lead to the royal kitchen. As you scan the room for any useful items, you spot a bag of flour in the corner of the room. Suddenly you get a great idea as some more of your grandbuggy's advice comes back to you...

"Listen up Bugze, the best way to make everyling turn tail and abandon a place, like an amusement park or a castle, is to pretend to be a ghost, that way noling will bother you as you sneak about looking for treasure. As long as you don't run into any stoners, prom royalty, turtlenecked fillyfoolers, or talking dogs, your plan will be foolproof. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids..."

Yeahhhh... you had to bail your grandbuggy out of jail for, and you quote "disturbing the peace by dressing up as a ghost and scaring hatchlings away from the park so that he could dig up old bug Mack's buried treasure" and you had a hard time explaining to your ex-queen's royal guards on where he got the flamethrower. Anyway, deciding to take your grandbuggy's advice you walk over to the bag of flour, pick it up, and after whispering a 'sorry' to your cloak, you dump the whole bag on your head. After looking into a nearby mirror to see if it worked (and it did as you recoiled in fright from your ghostly reflection) you continue looking for the window art hallway.

10 MINUTES LATER

Use your knowledge from Pony's Creed to sneak around the castle without getting caught! However, when you try to jump into a hay barrel the hay doesn't cushion you as much as it does in the game... Ow!

You are walking towards another door, when you suddenly hear hoof steps coming towards you. Thinking quickly, you run towards a nearby open window and dive out of it. You did this because you saw a pile of hay at the bottom of the three floor drop. You smile as you approach the hay barrel knowing it will be a soft landin-

*BONK* "Ow!"

You say in pain as you land on your face. You slowly get up as you mumble angrily,

"I refuse to believe that this wouldn't work in real life, so I will blame lady luck until someling tells me otherwise."

When you finally get up, you begin to head back to where you think the cellar entrance to the 'brewery', but as you're walking back, you look up and see...

Sneak around the castle until you see the stained glass windows from the outside. They're sort of high off the ground, so shoryuken yourself up there. As you gaze at the windows from the outside, you think for a second that the paintings on the windows seem to be moving. As you walk along the rooftop, trying to get a closer look, you accidentally slip and slide friendly towards the window. Bracing for impact, you crash through the window and find yourself starting at six surprised mares and one shocked Sun-goddess. You just stare back.
"Well, excuse me, I was just trying to deliver some exposition here," a distinctive voice snaps. You turn toward the voice to see a Dragon-like creature with assorted body parts from other animals (post a link here or something) starting at you from the stained glass. "Oh my," he says as he suddenly gets an idea. "You wouldn't happen to be the hooded offender, would you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half bad for an amateur."

That the window art hallway is just a few feet away from you! You wonder how you missed that, but decide to worry about it later. For now you need to find a quicker way up there then the "brewery" way. You suddenly get a super dumb idea, but since your dumb ideas usually work, you decide to go for it. Putting your plan into action, you whisper "Psycho Crusher!" and send yourself spinning towards the windows. As you're heading towards the windows you swear you saw the paintings in the windows move, but you just shrug it off. But sadly for you, you realize the one flaw in your plan:

You have no bucking idea how to stop yourself. As you're about to hit the window you can't help but think,

I really hope the princess has insurance...

*crash* *shatter* *tumble*
"What the!"

"Oh my!"

"What in tarnation!"

"Is this a surprise!?"

"Sweet me!"

"Hey!"

As you look up from your crash, you see the Deadly Five, Fluttershy, and Celestia staring at you in shock and horror. You look at them in fear as you think,

Please tell me the whole "flour ghost" plan worked.

You're about to say something when you hear someling shout in annoyance,

"Hey, I'm trying to deliver some exposition here!"

You turn toward the voice to see a Dragon-like creature with assorted body parts from other animals looking at you from the stained glass.

"Oh my..." he says with his annoyance turning into a look of mischievousness in his eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be the ghost of the Hooded Offender, wouldn't you? I've heard a lot about you during my imprisonment. Aren't you just a brilliant little chaos-creator, not half-bad for an amateur. Especially that little show you put on during the Bland Boring Ball, which was just delicious! Tell me, how did you create those wonderful tails?"

As you look at the creature in both awe and confusion, you can't help but think...

This is gonna be a long day isn't it?

Outro

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Introducing the newest pain in the butt for Bugze (but our favorite chaos maker) Discord!

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

Interesting answers for yesterdays questions. And I'm glad that some of you don't have to endure the torture that is school. Anyway, today's question...

What is your favorite Discord moment?

Come on all you John de Lancie fans, whats your favorite chaos making moment? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 5: OoooooOOooo... I"mmmmm Scaryyyy.

Theme

Twilight glares at you in frustration. "Oh great! This is just what we need right now!" her voice dripping with sarcasm. "First the Elements get stolen by Mr. Mish-mash over here," she motions to Discord, who casually waves at you all "And then you show up! Why are you even here?! You were supposed to be deader than Batmare's parents!"
Rainbow chidingly shakes her head "Too soon Twi."
"Well... I umm... ya see..." you stammer as you try to think of an answer that isn't ridiculous. Then you remember your now white cloak and an idea dings on inside your head. "I aaaaamm a Ghost noooooowwww!" You say in your best spooky voice "Aaaaallll of yooooouuu are the reason I diiiiieeeed. And nooowww I must haunt you for aaaaaalll eternity (Except on weekends and holidays)."
Twilight stares blackly at you before breaking into a smirk. "Oh please. Do you honestly think anyone would believe-"
She is then cut off by her friends screaming in terror. She turns around and you look past her to see the re-mane 5 huddled together in fear. Pinkie in particular is throwing bars of silver and cloves of garlic at your general direction, and Fluttershy (bless her fragile heart) is crying while begging for forgiveness for partially causing your noble sacrifice.

This goat lizard monster thing looks evil, try to shift the blame to him, which he will find hilarious and laugh.
You: Wooooooo....I am the ghost of the Hooded Offender...And I have come back with a warning!!!!
Pinkie: (Interrupting) You're not the Hooded Offender. His coat was black, you're white.
You: (Annoyed) Pink one, Shut Up! I'm a Freaking Ghost! Have you Ever Seen a Black Ghost Before?
AJ: Ya, that definitely sounds like him
You: Now I gotta Start Over....Wooooooo....I've come back with a warning!
Rainbow Dash: Do you really have to use that voice?
Pinkie: Ya, it's kind of annoying
(Something in your brain pops since she's the one who said it)
You: Fine! (Annoyed) I've come back to warn you about...
Pinkie: What's the Warning?!
You: Shut up for five seconds and I'll tell you!
Pinkie: Oops, Sorry.
You: I mean, it's bad enough you killed me, but now I can't get a word in edgewise!
Rainbow Dash: Ya Quiet Pinkie, I want to hear what ghost jerk has to say
You: Thanks...(Ahem) now beware of...
Pinkie: Is this it?
You: Alright that's it...you're all haunted!
Rainbow Dash: Oh great, thanks Pinkie!

You just stare at the mismashed monster in confusion as you think,

Imprisonment? Chaos-creator? Amateur? Delicious? What is this guy talking about? Why does he think chaos is delicious? How does he know about me if he was imprisoned? What's in the boxxx? Why am I asking all these questions? Find out next time on-Wait, no, stop it brain! This isn't a cliffhanger episode of some corny serial flick and this... thing, is giving me bad vibes. Something about him is just... off. And that's not just because of the fact that he could be his own personal zoo. I really hope he doesn't try to attack me...

You get snapped out of your mental rambling when you hear a now red-faced Twilight yell in annoyance and anger,

"Ahhhhh! You've got to be kidding me! This is just what we need!" Her voice drips of sarcasm as she says that. She then takes a deep breath as she says in a still annoyed tone,

"First the Elements get stolen by Mr. Mish-mash over here," she motions to the mishmash creature, who casually waves at you all as he starts to chuckle before Twilight points a angry hoof at you as she continues, "And now you show up! Why are you even here?! You're supposed to be deader than Batmare's parents!"

You, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and even the strange creature wince at her comment as Rainbow says, "Too soon Twi, too soon."

You, the mish-mash creature, and Fluttershy all nod your heads solemnly. You then realize that Twilight just asked you how you're alive, so you start to mumble nervously,

"I... well... you see... about that." *ding*

You then remember your flour-covered cloak and a idea forms in your head that should get the Deadly Five and Celestia off your back. You think of your best ghost voice as you say,

"Wooooooo... I am the ghost of Hearth's Warming Eve Pas- I mean the Hooded Offender! And I have come back with a warninggggggg."

Pinkie looks at you strangely before she says, "You're not the Hooded Offender. His coat was black, you're white."

You sigh in annoyance at Pinkie's comment as you say in annoyance,

"Pink pycho, shut up! I'm a bucking ghost! Have you ever seen a black ghost before? No... I didn't think so. Now please shut your babbling yapper so that I can give my warning!"

That might have been harsher than it needed to be, but that mare just really gets on you nerves sometimes. Pinkie looks at you strangely before she starts laughing as she says,

"Hahahah, you're right. A ghost can't be black. Unless of course that ghost jumped into a batch of chocolate. Then that ghost could be black. Oh wait, the ghost could just phase the chocolate off of them. And chocolate is brown anyway, but I mean come ON! It's chocolate, who wouldn't want to be covered in-mamma mmmamdmowm mphhhh mamms"

Thankfully Pinkie's rant is ended when Applejack sticks her hoof in Pinkie's mouth, shutting her yapper. Applejack then turns to glare at you as she says,

"Ya, that definitely sounds like that varmint. Rude, obnoxious, and creepy."

The strange creature (still in the glass, but is now eating popcorn... while pouring chocolate hot sauce on it?) chuckles as he says,

"Ohhh, I was right. You are a fellow chaos maker! I know we are just gonna be the best of buddies!"

Ignoring the strange creature's comment. You look back over to the group of ponies as you say,

"Great, now I gotta start over... *ahem* Wooooooo... I've come back with a warrrrrning! Do no-"

"Do you really have to use that voice?"

You sigh in annoyance as your warning is cut off... again. You're about to speak again when Pinkie says,

"Yeah, it's kind of annoying."

*snap*

Your eyes glow orange as you think angrily,

SHE THINKS THAT'S ANNOYING! LOOK WHO'S TALKING! I BET SHE COULDN'T GO ONE DAY WITHOUT OPENING HER YAPPER!

You start to breath in and out to clam yourself down. After your eyes go back to normal, you glare at Pinkie angrily as you say in your normal voice,

"Fine! I've come back to warn you about..." You stop mid sentence to see if anyling was going to interrupt you again. Not seeing anyling about to interject, you open your mouth to say something-

"What's the warning?!"

You glare angrily at Pinkie for the fifth time as you snap,

"Pink one, if you don't shut your yap I will... um... posses all the.... cookie jars in Equestria... to make sure that you'll never get your hooves on that crunchy sweet goodness ever again!"

Pinkie gasps in horror as she says,

"No! You wouldn't dare!"

You give her a blank stare as you say,

"Pink one... it's me... I stole forty cakes, remember? You think I'm afraid of stealing all the cookie jars?"

Pinkie just stares at you in horror and doesn't say a thing. Seeing as how she's not trying to interrupt you again, you decide to continue your rant,

"I mean, it's bad enough you all murdered me, but now I can't even get a word in edgewise!" You wince slightly at Fluttershy's guilty expression.

Great, now she's blaming herself for my death. Way to go me...

You snap out of your guilty thoughts when you hear Rainbow say,

"Yeah, quiet Pinkie, I want to hear what ghost jerk has to say."

You look at Rainbow confused as to why that fillyfooler, out of all of them, actually wants to hear what you have to say. Deciding not to take this chance for granted, you clear your throat as you mutter "Thanks", but Rainbow gives a victorious grin towards... Applejack?

What the hay is that about? Eh, whatever, must be a fillyfooler thing.

With that quick thought passed, you continue, "*ahem* Now beware of-

"Is this it?"

Your anger reaches a boiling point when Pinkie interrupts you for the sixth time! You look at Pinkie in anger as you yell.
"Okay, That's it!" Your eyes glow orange as you say in your ghost voice,

"I'm noooowwwwwww gooooinnnggg to haunt yoooouuuu allllll. Beeecccauuuussee aaaaallll of yooooouuu are the reason I diiiiieeeed. And nooowww I must haunt you for aaaaaalll eternity (Except on weekends and holidays)."

Twilight, who has been quiet for awhile now, starts to snicker as she says,

"Oh please. Do you honestly think anypony would believe-"

She is then cut off by her friends screaming in terror. She turns around as you look past her to see the other 5 huddled together in fear. Pinkie in particular is throwing bars of silver and cloves of garlic at your general direction while Fluttershy (bless her fragile heart) is crying while begging for forgiveness for partially causing your noble sacrifice.

Annnnnnd lets add Fluttershy back to the list of mares I've made cry. Can't I go one day without making a mare cry?

You're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Twilight ask....

Twilight also points out that ghosts should be able to phase through things instead of smashing them and you respond that you're still trying to get a grip on the whole spirit thing.

"Why are you here? Why haven't you passed on?"
"Oh, uh, the Heavens denied my self-invitation because I caused so much chaos just by EXISTING. I've even tried going to Tartarus for how lonely being dead is, but they also left me out because they thought my bad luck is contagious. The nerve of them! I've spent months going up and down to get to the gates of both places, but they only turned me away without so much of a second glance! My misfortune is Lady Luck's fault! Curse her. So, I decided to spend the rest of my unlife enacting vengeance to all those who gave me so much suffering in my short life."
"H-how old were you?"
"@&."
"T-that's not even all that long!"

"Why are you here? Why haven't you passed on? And if you're really a ghost, how come you smashed through the window instead of phasing through like a ghost is supposed to?"

Not only are you taken aback by those questions, but you swear you saw a flash of concern in Twilight's eyes for a second. You shake your head and put it off as your imagination before you then answer the question with the first thing that comes to your head...

"Oh, uh, One, I'm still trying to grasp the basics of this whole 'wandering spirit' thing. Two, the Heavens denied my self-invitation because I caused so much chaos just by EXISTING."

The mismatch creature chuckles while giving you a thumbs up, and the words 'Most Chaotic friend ever' appear above his head. Shaking off that bowl of weirdness you continue,

"I've even tried going to Tartarus just for how lonely being a wandering spirit is, but they also left me out because they thought my bad luck is contagious. The nerve of them! I've spent months going up and down to the gates of both places, but they just me away without so much of a second glance! My misfortune is Lady Luck's fault! Curse her, curse her I say! So, I decided to spend the rest of my unlife enacting vengeance to all those who gave me so much suffering in my short life."

Twilight looks taken aback by the answer, before she asks "H-how old were you?"

"@&." You answer truthfully

Gasps of surprise and horror happen throughout the room. You shrug like it was nothing and say,

"What? That's my age."

Twilight trembles a little bit before she says,

"T-that's not even all that long!"

You're about to say that's pretty old by changeling standards when...

You try to convince the mane six (and the others) that you are the ghost of the Hooded Offender, here to haunt them forever. However, Discord, sensing an opportunity to be a pain in the butt, snaps his fingers and the cloak tears itself off of you, washes and irons itself, and plops back on you, unfortunately revealing that you are alive and well.

The mismatch creature chuckles and says,

"Well, H.O., thanks for the show. But I think it's time for this charade to end, don't you think?"

Before you can question what he means, he snaps his fingers and the next thing you know, your cloak tears itself off of you, washes and irons itself inside a now existing washer and iron, dries itself off in a dryer, and then plops back on you. Unfortunately, this also reveals that you're alive and well. You look at all the angry and shocked looks around and you chuckle nervously as you say...

You decide to pull out a portal reference again. You turn your voice robotic.
"Wait, before I get pummeled by you all, I think this appearance does require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version. AndmethodicallyknockingpeopleshatsoffthenIaccountitforhightimetogettoseaasfastasIcan." You say that so quickly that noling but Pinkie and Discord can tell what you said.
"There, if you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance."
They all give you a weird looks.
"I'll be right back." You run out of the room.

In a robotic voice,

"Oh, would you look at that, I'm alive. Well, before I get pummeled by you all, I think this appearance does require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version; AndmethodicallyknockingpeopleshatsoffthenIaccountitforhightimetogettoseaasfastasIcan."

You said that so quickly that noling but Pinkie and the mismatch creature can tell what you said causing them both to laugh, but you ignore them as you say,

"There, if you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own intelligence."

Their looks of shock and anger turn into confusion. Taking this opportunity you say,

"Oh, would you look at the time! I'm late for my Doctor's appointment! I must be off, allons-y!" And with that you begin to charge up a teleport spell, but...

You try to teleport away, but Twilight does that unfair spell where she disables your magic again. Applejack and Rainbowdash dogpile you until Fluttershy drags them off of you.
"Excuse me, am I interrupting anything, lovers?" Discord says. "I do recall a couple ponies wanting to retrieve their elements, and in order to do that this is what you need to know. To retrieve your missing Elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began. Farewell, my little ponies."
You think you here some iconic phrase, but you're too busy fearing the death looks the deadly five are giving you

They all hastily get off you when you sarcastically comment how dogpiling the bug that went on a berserker rampage through all of them at the GGG probably isn't the best idea.

Nothing happens. You open your eyes to see a smirking Twilight and her horn is glowing.

Drat, she must have used that stupid magic-disabling spell again.

With that thought in mind, you turn around to make a break for it, but before you could take one step...

"Oh no you don't!"

"Not this time varmint!"

"Time for 'Bouncing on the Offender!'"

You feel three weights slam into your back knocking you to the ground in a dogpile as Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all tackle you. You then sarcastically comment from under the dogpile,

"Yeah, charge straight at the bug who rampaged through the Royal Guards and the Wonderbolts, curb-stomped the alicorn who controls the sun, Oh, and let's not forget, ended Blueblood's chances of ever having foals and walking with just one punch. That's the guaranteed key to a long life!"

The mares suddenly get flashbacks to the destruction and terror at the GGG that haunted their nightmares for the days following the incident and hastily get off you. As they back away slowly in fear, you get up, turn to face them, and brush off your shoulder with a hoof as you say,

"Alrighty then. Anyling else want to have a go at-"

Suddenly, Fluttershy gives you a quick hug and whispers, "I'm glad you're okay, Hoody." Before you could respond, the strange creature chuckles as he says,

"Excuse me, am I interrupting anything, lovers? I do recall a couple ponies wanting to retrieve their elements, and in order to do that this is what you need to know: To retrieve your missing Elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began. Farewell, my little ponies... And fellow chaos maker."

And with that, he literally pops away! You swear you hear him say something iconic, but you're too distracted by the stares you're now getting from the Deadly Five...

You appear to have broken Celestia again. She's just staring off into space. it's probably the stress of Discord combined with the shock of seeing you again. Anyways, Twilight, seeing that Celestia is in no shape to watch you and make sure you don't fake your own death again, decides to take you with them into the labyrinth and keep and eye on you.

When Twilight tries to make you come with them, you're about to just fight your way out, but you see how frightened Fluttershy is (that and/or she asks you) and stick around only for her sake.

You look over to Celestia, who has been quiet the whole time.

Oh shoot I broke her... again.

It's true, she's just staring off into space (probably the result of combined stress and shock of the elements being stolen, Discord's return, and seeing you again). Anyways, Twilight (having just finished looking out the window and seeing that Celestia is in no shape to watch you) looks at you and says,

"Since the princess is distracted, you'll be coming with us to the maze."

You look at her confused and think,

Maze? Who said anything about a maze?

You shrug off the thought and prepare a "Pycho Buster" to escape when you see Fluttershy in front of you shivering like crazy and looking at you with a terrified/pleading look in her eyes. You sigh as you know that, even though you don't like it, it's best to stay to watch over her.

The Doctor will have to wait, I have a friend that needs help.

You look at Twilight, shrug and try to say nonchalantly,

"Eh, I got nothing better to do."

Fluttershy smiles at you while Twilight nods her head in an almost excited matter before declaring,

"Let's go girls! The fate of Equestria is in our hooves!"

As you follow the mares out you think,

I mean, what's the worse that can happen?...

25 MINUTES LATER

When you all get to the maze, you panic along with the rest of the mares at your horns and wings going missing (although Discord allows you to keep your wings after pointing out that you can't fly anyway).

I just HAD to say it...

In the time span of almost half an hour, you ran/walked all the way to the royal maze after Twilight figured out the riddle, you got your horn popped out of your head (along with the other's horns and wings, but strangely he let you keep your wings under your coat. You decided to keep that fact secret from the others since you can't fly anyway. Luna knows the fillyfooler won't ever let you live it down if she knew) for the strange creature's (who you learned is named Discord) game in the maze, you get cut off from Fluttershy by a maze wall popping up in between the group, AND you somehow managed to get stuck with Twilight.

While not as bad as the hick, the fillyfooler, or the psycho, she's still not exactly the best pony to be stuck in a maze with... You think bitterly.

Twilight just sighs as she looks at you with a glare and says,

"Come on, oh great Hooded Offender, let's go."

You roll your eyes as you say,

"After you, princess."

And with that, you and Twilight began to travel the maze...

Outro

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Let the maze..begin. Oh, don't forget to run as well!

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

I bring awesome news! One of the Hive Mind, S80LAR, created a comic staring our favorite changeling! I found it awesome and funny as heck. Go check out the blog with the comic now!

Yesterdays question answers are....

Question first: that time in Keep Calm and Flutter On where he was rotating Fluttershy's house. Hilarious, great visual, and Fluttershy saying that she'll even get discord to put the house back before the dinner party later.

and

"What fun is there in making sense?"

Congrats to SnapDrakeGames and Dream Seeker respectfully. I agree with Snap that that scene had great visuals, and I almost got caught watching MLP cause I was laughing so hard (thank you inventor of the lock (And yes to all those who are new here I am a Closet Brony)). And I agree with Seeker because that is one of Discords best lines. The fact that I reference it all the time and have yet to get called out on it helps!

Today's question is...

What is the scariest horror game you've ever played or seen?

Come on folks, what game have you played that has caused you to hide under your blankets, turn the lights on, and carry a gun to sleep. Come on, you can tell me....BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 6: Video Games! Why Have You Betrayed ME!?!!?

Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

"If you do anything weird, I'll obliterate you." She hisses.
You back up nervously. "What would be considered weird?"
She huffs. "Just... Try to act like a normal pony..."
You get an idea. You change into a random pony. "Okay fine. Let's all act like ponies. Look at me, boy I'm sweaty. Let's convert grass and leaves into energy and excrete them later and kill changelings."

You run right into Twilight with an "oof" when she suddenly stops. You look at her confused when she suddenly turns and hisses at you,

"If you do anything weird, I'll obliterate you."

You look at her shocked that she was suddenly all hostile, before you ask,

"What would be considered weird?"

She huffs in annoyance before she says,

"Just... Try to act like a normal pony..."

You then get an wonderfully trollish idea. You put your hood down and change into a random pony that looks like this and think of the most criticizing voice that you can think of as you say,

"Okay fine, let's all act like ponies. Look at me, boy I'm sweaty. Let's convert grass and leaves into energy and excrete them later and kill changelings. Oh, then I'll go ahead and say how peaceful our species is yet we have hot-headed fillyfoolers, a psychotic pink menace, and a fashion crazy mare running around without straitjackets on!"

Twilight just gets red in the face at your outburst, and she just snorts in anger as she turns and begins to walk though the maze. You chuckle at your success at annoying Twilight and transform back to your old buggy self as you put your hood up and begin to walk behind Twilight. But now you're surrounded by awkward and tense silence.

After a couple minutes of walking in awkward silence, you decide to strike up a conversation with Twilight.

Well since you're alone with Twilight, try to clear the air between you, maybe...just maybe you can put aside the bad blood you have between you.

As you and Twilight continue to walk though the maze in awkward and tense silence, you begin to think about your predicament.

This has got to be the most awkward moment in my life. It's even more awkward then that time I caught grandbuggy hugging and petting a wooden blank that had drawn on eyes and smile (he kept calling him 'Plank') with a insane look in his eyes. Yeahhhhh...that was a weird day. But still, there's gotta be something I can do to get rid of all this tension and awkwardness. Maybe I could- *ding* I got it, I'l just strike up a conversation with her! If I'm lucky enough, then she'll talk back. If we could get to know each other, I could explain all the misunderstandings that has happen to me! Maybe... maybe we could become friends.

You smile turns into a huge grin that threatens to snap your face in half. You look over at Twilight and say the first generic conversation starter you can think of,

"So... nice weather today huh?"

Twilight glares at you with a side glance before she says in a sarcastic tone,

"Oh sure, the weather is just perfect. If you consider the sky being pink and clouds made of cotton candy raining chocolate milk GOOD WEATHER, THEN YES THE WEATHER IS JUST STINKING FANTASTIC!"

She yells the last part as she looks at you in anger. You whimper a little bit (not very stallionly, but in your defense that mare is scary when she's mad) when you notice something. You look at Twilight strangely as you think,

That anger in her eyes looks...forced? What in the... Before you can finish that thought, Twilight huffs in annoyance before she continues to walk further into the maze. You shake your head as you run to catch up to her.

*Simpson family lost in a corn maze*
Homer: "To hell with maze etiquette! I'm walking straight outta here!"
*Tries to walk through maze only to run into an electric fence with a sign that reads "Electrified for your enjoyment"*
Homer: "Damn it!"
*Tries to punch sign only to get shocked and sees another sign that says "Signs also electrified"*
Homer: "How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?"

After walking through the maze some more, you get annoyed and declare,

"You know what? Buck maze etiquette! I'm walking straight outta here!"

You then try to walk into the maze wall-

*ZAP*

Only to get zapped down. When you come to, you see an electric fence beneath the bush with a sign that reads "Electrified for your enjoyment"

"Gah!" you yell as you punch the sign in frustration-

*ZAP*

Only to get electrocuted again as you see another sign that says "Signs also electrified". You then moan,

"Oh... how come things that happen to stupid bugs keep happening to me?"

You swore you heard Twilight laughing at your misfortune, but when you turn she's already walking away. Deciding to put that 'forced anger' thing aside for now, you continue your efforts to strike a conversation as you say...

So who was that guy anyway?" You ask Twilight out of the blue.
"Discord, the embodiment of chaos and disharmony. He's an ancient being that once ruled Equestria in a state of perpetual chaos before the Princesses stopped him." she recited as if from an essay "And now he's back from his one-thousand year imprisonment to do it all again! That's why we have to retrieve the Emements and stop him!" then she adds in a bitter tone "AND the reason I'm too busy to deal with you."
"Bwuh?! You're the one who dragged me into this maze in the first place! You don't get to complain."
"Like heck I don't! You've been nothing but trouble for us!"
"Except the times I saved your lives, and fought a dragon, and saved your lives, and intercepted a war, and saved your lives, and saved your lives... again." You list off smugly.
"Whatever, I still don't trust you."

"So who was that guy anyway?" You ask Twilight with curiosity.

Twilight stops walking as she gives an annoyed sigh as she says,

"Discord, the embodiment of chaos and disharmony. He's an ancient being that once ruled Equestria in a state of perpetual chaos before the Princesses stopped him." she recited it as if it was from an essay "And now he's back from his one-thousand year imprisonment to do it all again! That's why we have to retrieve the Elements and stop him!" then she adds in a bitter tone "AND the reason I'm too busy to deal with you."

You look at Twilight in shock as you blurt out in annoyance,

"Bwuh?! You're the one who dragged me into this maze in the first place! You don't get to complain."

Twilight looks shocked for a moment, before she points an accusing hoof at you and replies in an annoyed tone,

"Like heck I don't! You've been nothing but trouble for us!"

Your eye twitch in annoyance as you say,

"Except the times I saved your lives, and fought a dragon, and saved your lives, and intercepted a war, did I mention I saved your lives? Well I saved your stinking lives!" You list off smugly. Twilight's eye twitches in annoyance, and you swear you see her smile a little bit, before she turns around with a huff as she says,

"Whatever, I still don't trust you."

With that, she continues to walk though the maze while you grumble,

"Don't trust me she says, still evil she says..."

You know, when you know you're not about to be mauled by present party, you started to take notice of... certain subtle things. You could literally feel the hostility from her, including the fear growing that's on the verge of tearing your chest. You're afraid, but not panicking at least. Doesn't make the experience of awkward silence any better, though.
It may had been a bad idea to sleep through biology class over the arrogant assumption that everything taught there was bloody obvious. You failed the test the day after. Still, you realized that you never truly understood the extent of a Changeling's capabilities when emotions are involved.
Hmmm, if love equals power (basing it off of your ex-Queen's resulted increase in power levels thanks to love absorption) what does that make you when I comes to your relationship with your daughter? Do you have the ability to sense what others feel?
Is it the reason why you suddenly feel a sense of dread just right now?
No seriously, you could SMELL it in the distance. A... disturbance of some sorts. And then, an instinctive muscle tug in your forelegs occurred, a tightness. Danger. Before your could contemplate the ominous meaning, Twilight spoke.
"Look, as much as I want answers from you, and those Sherclop first edition books," Wait, wha— "I already have enough on my plate. So, I want you to keep out of trouble and don't mess it up for me— no, for Equestria! The fate of the world is in our hooves!"
"Ours?" you commented.
"My friends and me."
"What, I don't count?" She only gave a blank stare. "Hey! I'm capable enough to try and save the world."
"You could've fooled me. Everywhere you go you somehow ended up wrecking parts of it."
"Okay, what's your problem?! Haven't I suffered enough of your abuse all those months ago?"
"My problem? Spike admires you, Fluttershy likes you, and Cadance for some reason forgives you! When all of what you've done was cause chaos and havoc. You're gilded as hero by some ponies, but still don't know that you're hiding the REAL you!"
"Are you kidding me? You mean saving ponies from a collapsed ceiling doesn't count as much to my profile? Doesn't that speak enough about my intentions?" You'd thought that she'd take a bite out of you when you talked back at her. Geez, you feel like talking to your hardcore, and dead, parents. And you're a parent yourself. The irony. "At least be a little grateful that I helped you with that dragon a long time ago."
Twilight growled in frustration. "Intentions? No pony truly know what you even want! One moment you're antagonizing town folks, and then all nice to a few ponies the next! Do you know how much you drove us up the wall with all your antics, always being afraid of what you'll do next, wether it's good or bad? I barely had the time nor inspiration to write a friendship report when you're involved," she hissed. "But there's one thing I know: You're a changeling. You feed on love. You're deceitful by nature. And your kind starved my sister-in-law and left her in a cave and got away with it months before the wedding day! I'm on to you, whatever you're planning."
"If we are gauging good or bad with intentions and motives, then you're not all in the right either! I've been pummeled and beaten to an inch of my life several times now. And it's all by you! All of you five! Do you know how many nightmares I had about you? With all the killing intent you've shown me thus far, I'm pretty sure you've TRAUMATIZED someone!" She winced at your accidental Royal Capslocks. And you still have it switched on. "NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE PRINCESSES INTENDED TO EXECUTE MY DAUGHTER!"
Silence.
"Is she really your daughter?" she asked, ignoring all the things before it was relevant.
What? you thought bitterly, afraid of what's about to come next.
"I know your tricks. You needed some way to sustain yourself, food to keep you going." No, she can't be implying...! "As far as I know, you just don't get a changeling filly out of the blue, separated from any other relatable species, no. But you've got to have gotten her from somewhere," she gave you a furious glare that's as hot as the sun. "You have the mind control and you have the disguises. Who wouldn't think that you took her away from her real parents? Speaking of, where is she now?"
You hear dark whispers, and you don't know where, but it sounded familiar. You tried to ignore it, but... it gets louder as you soon understood that your already chaotic life might turn much bleaker already.
"How dare you... "
"Since we had this talk, I now have half a mind to end you right here, right now!"
But then you hear your sweet saving grace. Coming from the Inventory yawning was your beautiful daughter Nightshade. "It's getting loud out here. Did somepony call me?"
Instantly, Twilight did a scanning spell onto her. "Nothing. What?" she said, bewildered.
You merely ignored her and walked ahead, soothing your daughter to go back into the inventory. Further response was inturrupted as you see the familiar sight of one of the Mane 6.

Also add onto when Nightshade pops out, tell Twilight
"Excuse me while I comfort MY Daughter whom I LOVE Unconditionally away from Speciest Eyes" and give her a sour look, the bitch.

28 MINUTES LATER

As you and Twilight continue to walk in silence (you having given up trying to start a conversation with her a long time ago) you begin to think... Intelligently for once. When you know you're not about to be mauled by present party, you started to take notice of... certain subtle things. You could literally feel the hostility from her, including the fear growing that's on the verge of tearing your chest. You're afraid, but not panicking at least. Doesn't make the experience of awkward silence any better, though. It may had been a bad idea to sleep through biology class over the arrogant assumption that everything taught there was bloody obvious. You failed the test the day after.

Although since I failed the test, grandbuggy did give me my first duct tape and WD-40 lesson... and by lesson I mean endless hours in the hot blazing sun going over the lesson till it was stuck in my head for good, so it wan't too bad.

Still, you realized that you never truly understood the extent of a Changeling's capabilities when emotions are involved.

Hmmm, if love equals power (basing it off of your ex-Queen's resulted increase in power levels thanks to love absorption) what does that make me when it comes to my relationship with my daughter? I can't even 'eat' love anymore, much less need it for survival now for some reason. Do I have the ability to sense what others feel now because of that?

Is it the reason why you suddenly feel a sense of dread just right now?

No seriously, you could SMELL it in the distance. A... disturbance of some sorts. And then, an instinctive muscle tug in your forelegs occurred, a tightness. Danger. Before your could contemplate the ominous meaning, Twilight spoke.

"Look, as much as I want answers from you, and those Sherclop first edition books,"

Wait, wha-

"I already have enough on my plate. So, I want you to keep out of trouble and don't mess it up for me- no, for Equestria! The fate of the world is in our hooves!"

"Ours?" you question in confusion.

Not that I mind helping stop this lunatic of course.

Twilight gives you a look before saying,

"My friends and I." You look at her dumbfounded as you say,

"What, I don't count?"

She only gave a blank stare in response.

"Hey! I'm capable enough to try and save the world. I did save your life a billion times remember?"

Twilight, ignoring your comment, says in a sarcastic tone,

"You could've fooled me. Everywhere you go you somehow ended up wrecking parts of it."

You finally have enough of her attitude and say to her in a annoyed tone,

"Okay, what's your problem?! Haven't I suffered enough of your abuse all those months ago?"

Twilight's eye begins to twitch in annoyance as she says,

"My problem? Spike admires you and won't listen to me when I tell him that you're evil, Fluttershy likes you and she wouldn't come out of her home for months after your death, and Cadance for some reason forgives you and keeps claiming that you're 'the nicest and sweetest changeling she ever met' when all that you've done was cause chaos and havoc. You're gilded as hero by some ponies, but they still don't know that you're hiding the REAL changeling you!"

You look at her confused as you think,

Wait... Spike admires me? What does she mean Fluttershy likes me... But what about-oh yeah, arguing right now, think about the rest later.

After your done thinking, you tell Twilight in a annoyed tone,

"You're kidding right? You mean saving ponies from a collapsed ceiling doesn't count as much to my profile? Doesn't that speak enough about my intentions?"

You'd thought that she'd take a bite out of you when you talked back at her as you continue,

"At least be a little grateful that I helped you with that dragon a long time ago."

Twilight growls in frustration,

"Intentions? Nopony truly know what you even want! One moment you're antagonizing townsfolk, and then you're all nice to a few ponies the next! Do you know how much you drove us up the wall with all your antics, always being afraid of what you'll do next, whether it's good or bad? I barely had the time or inspiration to write a friendship report when you're involved," she hissed. "But there's one thing I know: You're a changeling. You feed on love. You're deceitful by nature. And your kind starved my sister-in-law and left her in a cave and got away with it months before the wedding day! I'm on to you, whatever you're planning."

Your eye twitches in annoyance as you think angrily,

I did not leave her starving! According to Cadance, I actually fed her and took a hit from my ex-queen to save her. I wish I could tell Twilight that, but she'll probably think I'm lying. But if where going with good and bad motives...

You then say angrily,

"If we're gauging good or bad intentions and motives, then you're not all in the right either! I've been pummeled and beaten to an inch of my life several times now by you! All of you five! Do you know how many nightmares I had about you? The first few nights I slept in my new home I woke up screaming! With all the killing intent you've shown me thus far, I'm pretty sure you've TRAUMATIZED someling!"

*snap*

She winced at your accidental Royal Capslocks and you still have it switched on as you scream in anger, orange glowing eyes blazing,

"NOT TO MENTION THAT ONE OF YOUR PRINCESSES INTENDED TO EXECUTE MY DAUGHTER!"

As you start to breath heavily after getting all of that off your shoulder, you only notice on thing...

Silence.

Just as you think that Twilight has dropped the subject. She asks a question that makes your blood boil...

"Is she really your daughter?" she asked, ignoring all the things before it was relevant.

What...? you thought bitterly, afraid of what's about to come next.

"I know your tricks. You needed some way to sustain yourself, food to keep you going."

No, she can't be implying...!

"As far as I know, you don't just get a changeling filly out of the blue, separated from any other relatable species, no. But you have to have acquired her from somewhere,"

She gave you a furious glare that's as hot as the sun as she continues,

"You have the mind control and you have the disguises. Who wouldn't think that you took her away from her real parents? Speaking of, where is she now?"

You swore you hear dark whispers just then. You don't know where, but it sounded familiar. You tried to ignore it, but... it gets louder as you soon understood that your already chaotic life might turn much bleaker already.

"How dare you... how dare you...SUGGEST I DO SOMETHING SO EVIL AS TAKE A FOAL AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILY!"

Twilight is taken aback by your outburst, but she soon regains her composer as she says angrily,

"Since we had this talk, I now have half a mind to end you right here, right now!"

With the Nightmare Cloak beginning to form you scream,

"Is that right? Well for a so-called bookworm you sure are one stupid dumbflank as, in case you don't remember, I curb-stomped you, your friends, your princess, the royal guard commander, his stallions, and even the bucking Wonderbolts back at the gala so I could and should just SLAUGHTER YOU WHERE YOU STAND!!!"

Before things could escalate, you hear your sweet saving grace. Coming from the Inventory yawning was your beautiful daughter Nightshade.

"It's getting loud out here. Did somepony call me?"

Instantly, Twilight's horn lit's up, and you can only guess that she's doing a scanning spell on Nightshade.

"Nothing. What?" she said, bewildered. You just walked ahead and passed Twilight as you calm down and say in a low whisper so Nightshade won't hear

"Excuse me while I comfort MY Daughter whom I LOVE Unconditionally away from ignorant species-ist eyes."

With that you continue to walk away, not noticing the guilty look on Twilight's face as you begin to sooth your daughter to go back into the inventory.

You are currently the only one with any abilities, thanks to a secret weapon known as Kung Fu for Dummies. Attempt to Psycho Crusher through a wall.
The hole in the maze fixes itself behind you and you're left separated again. Looking around, you see a grotto with a large pool. As you approach it, the pool shimmers as Discord rises out of it. He then shows you all the times the Deadly 5 have attacked you via the pool and tries to get you to join him as the official "Most Chaotic Friend Ever."

Discord tries to corrupt you, but the DFV repels his discording attempt.

Seeing as you don't want to be around Twilight at the moment, you yell,

"Psycho Crusher!" and spin through a surprisingly un-electrified maze wall. The hole in the maze fixes itself separating you from Twilight as you continue on until you run into... a giant flat box with a screen attached to a console that looks like a Nintendo 64 and an XBOX 360 had a baby?

The rational part of your brain tries to warn you to move on, but it's overwhelmed by the gamer in you who is FAMISHED since you haven't even seen a video game since that failed invasion of Canterlot (you were either on the run or living in remote, low-tech, always-gets-news-late Appleloosa) and you dash over, grab the controller, and start playing.

Your first surprise is how lifelike the graphics of the game look. The second surprise is that the game is titled The Hooded Offender: Playground of Mayhem which is apparently a wide-open sandbox that takes place in an island city that looks like a mish-mash of Manehattan, Canterlot, and a dash of Ponyville and you're playing as the Hooded Offender. Normally you try to make the Hooded Offender in real life into a hero, but since this is a video game and you still have some stress from that argument with Twilight you do what any player would do in free roam when the tutorial is over...

Tear the city a new flankhole.

You gleefully experiment with the abilities and powers of the playable Hooded Offender as you have him running over ponies with carriages, Falcon Punching non-Pegasus ponies out of 10th stories windows, Psycho Crusher through airships, jaywalking, and any other chaotically destructive things that come to mind as you rampage through the virtual city while real you scarfs down bowls of nacho-flavored corn chips and chug large cans of this yellow-green soda labeled "Mountain Dew" (you would have questioned where they came from, but you were busy making virtual you beat a barbershop quartet of mimes to death with a clown).

As you're Izuna Dropping a traveling stage magician from the roof of a skyscraper, you hear a disembodied male voice say,

Isn't all this destruction just loads of fun?

Not even looking away from the screen you say,

"Buck yeah it is! The graphics, the gameplay, the violence, the gameplay, the sounds, the gameplay! This is the best game ever!" you say as you have virtual you tear off a lawyer's front limbs with your Nightmare Tails, dunk his rear limbs in liquid nitrogen before shattering them against the ground, incinerate his torso with a fire spell, buck his charred screaming body into a refrigerator, and Shoryuken the fridge into the sky before obliterating it in midair with a rocket.

...

That was REALLY excessively violent... AWESOME!!! But getting back on topic, Oh... But why should it merely be a game?

"Huh *crunch gulp chug*?"

I mean, you try to do good...

On cue, you're suddenly given the objective to "Get the Cat out of the Tree" which you do and give the cat to a filly with a pink ribbon who looks suspiciously familiar...

But all they do is hate you...

The filly suddenly throws the cat back in your face which proceeds to wrap your head in a comic smoke of violence, taking off a large chunk of your health.

And abuse you...

Suddenly a crowd of ponies appear with signs that read "Squash the Bug" and "Hoods are No Good" and throw rotten fruit at you knocking off more of your health.

And chase you.

You suddenly have squads of Royal Guard after you as you run away cause your health is too low to fight.

But that shouldn't matter because you have more than enough power to get those pesky ponies out of your way.

You suddenly see the message "Meteor Impact unlocked" which you then proceed to use to level a building and cause it to collapse onto the angry mob and the Royal Guardponies.

But then there are those mares who are always trying to spoil your fun...

On cue, a boss battle starts when the 6 Mares arrive.

The "hick"...

Applejack kills you with a move that involves hanging you with her lasso before bucking you in the chest with enough force to activate an x-ray mode showing the destruction of your ribs and internal organs forcing you to restart the battle.

The "fillyfooler"...

You have to restart again when you're obliterated by a Sonic Rainboom as soon as you respawn.

The "psycho"...

Pinkie knocks you out with her party cannon and you're greeted with a Game Over screen of you strapped to a table as a sadistically giggling Pinkie closes in with a knife (That's gonna give you nightmares for a while...).

Celestia's pet bookworm...

Twilight obliterates you in a glowing-eyed field of energy.

The fashionista...

Rarity crushes you with a corset causing your hooded head to explode in a shower of green "blood".

Even sweet Fluttershy...

Fluttershy immobilizes you with "The Stare" and in spite of your attempts to quick-time event out of it, you're killed by another Sonic Rainboom.

But you don't have to deal with them alone...

You suddenly see a summon available which you use causing Discord to pop up on the screen. He looks around at the mares while wiggling his finger in a "nuh-uh-uh" way before he chuckles madly as he snaps his fingers causing a giant water balloon to appear above the mares. Of course this water balloon just so happened to be filled with acidic lava full of robo-piranha so... yeah, it was messy and screamy to say the least. Cue victory screen of you a Discord holding your hooves up in victory with the message "A WINNER IS YOU!!!"

Why settle for a mere game? If you play for my team, we can make this reality!

Discord then appears and puts a friendly arm around your shoulder as you're too focused on your controller trying to get the game to restart. What you didn't know was that the whole time you were playing, you slowly began to lose your color and become grey, Now that Discord has his hand over your shoulder, you are almost completely gray.

"So what do say H.O. buddy? Ready to turn Equestria into one giant game of Grand Theft Carriage?"

Discord moves his hand and pokes your forehead with his finger with intent to brainwash, but the DFV suddenly shouts screams,

THIS BUG BELONGS TO ME!!! AND THE ONLY FRIEND HE WILL HAVE IS ME!!!

Discord is thrown back by this outburst as you shake your head to try and reorient your ears and brain. Discord then says,

"What in the name of chaos is this?"

He then proceeds to pull out a pair of novelty "x-ray" goggles and looks at you intently, before he raises his eyebrows in surprise and says,

"Well, well, well... Isn't this a gem of a development. I got a feeling you're just gonna be bananas of fun later, but for now I got some ponies I need to tend to. Auf Wiedersehen H.O."

He then disappears as you demand,

"Get back here! What were you trying to do to me!? What do you mean I'm gonna be bananas of fun?! Is 'Ow Wiener-son' even a real word?!"

Suddenly Discord's head appears (wearing a grey hat for some reason) and says,

"It's Auf Wiedersehen and it means 'until we meet again'." before disappearing just as quickly.

You could only stare at were Discord was just at in complete confusion. Finally, you just sigh as you walk away towards another part of the maze.

Also, when you come across the others in the maze something seems off about them.
They all seem grayer and acting funny.
Applejack keeps hugging you and claiming you are her most favorite person ever. When she says this, she puckers her lips and keeps looking around shiftily.
Pinkie Pie is just snapping at you and yelling not to smile or laugh and even you admit that you miss the annoying happiness she usually has.
Fluttershy is being really mean to you, it actually breaks your heart since your only friend out of them is putting you down and throwing things at you and just being unnecessarily cruel.
Fluttershy: "Oh Boo Hoo, your freak of a daughter almost got killed, get over it you overgrown Cockroach!"
You tear up a bit
Fluttershy: "Oh you gonna cwy now? Come on Cwy! Cwy widdle baby! Ha ha ha!"
Rarity is carrying around a Boulder and she at one point snags your satchel and starts taking the things out of them, including Night Shade, and yelling "MINE!!!"
You then start trying to gather your satchel and daughter but they play keep away, and Fluttershy is making fun of Night Shade except Twilight who seems to be taking your side.
Twilight: Fluttershy! Rarity! What's the matter with you girls? Stop It! That's Cruel! Nopony deserves this, not even him!
AJ: I'm helping Twi! I'm doing all I can (sitting on the edge looking around shiftily)
Pinkie: This satchel is stupid!
Fluttershy: Bugs don't deserve nice things!
Rarity: MINE!!!!
You can't take it anymore, you snap at all of them.
You: All you can just go to Tartarus! You...you...(Look at Fluttershy) JERKS!!!!
Your eyes glow orange, and tears leaking out as you take back your daughter and belongings and your satchel and just start burning a hole through the maze as you run away.
You hear Fluttershy as you run away: "Yeesh, what a Crybaby!"

*snap* Your eyes glow orange as the mares play keep away with The Inventory, as you suddenly get flashbacks back to your foalhood in the Hive when you were bullied for your orange hair. The combined stress of the flashbacks, fear for your daughter, putting up with the discorded mares, and what's happening now causes you to snap and brutally curb-stomp the discorded mares with the "Nightmare Cloak" to Twilight's horror as the DFV eggs you on, but Twilight and/or Spike blasts/attacks you before you do anything you'd regret causing you to snap out of it and run away in horror/regret with the Inventory

After walking around for a few minutes, all the maze walls suddenly get sucked into the ground! You jump back in shock as you look around to find Fluttershy and the Deadly 5 (excluding Rainbow who was nowhere in site for some reason) apparently talking to Discord. When you finally reach them Discord pulls out a umbrella, folds it upside down, and then poofs away. When the group finally notices you, you realize something is different about them. For one everyling besides Twilight is gray.

Two, as soon as Applejack saw you, she ran at you, hugged you, and said that you were her most favorite bug in the world. When she says this, she puckers her lips and keeps looking around shiftily.

Three, Pinkie Pie is just snapping at you and yelling not to smile or laugh and even you admit that you miss the annoying happiness she usually has.

Four, Fluttershy is being really mean to you, it actually breaks your heart since your only friend out of them is putting you down and throwing things at you and just being unnecessarily cruel as she says things like "Oh Boo Hoo, your freak of a daughter almost got killed, get over it you overgrown Cockroach!" and "Oh you gonna cwy now? Come on Cwy! Cwy widdle baby! Ha ha ha!"

And finally, Rarity was hugging and kissing a giant rock, calling it Tom and saying that it's a diamond and tries to karate kick you when you get too close to it. She's also constantly yelling "Mine!"

When you asked Twilight what the hay happen. She just shook her head and snapped, "Not now."

After that she asked you (reluctantly) to help get the mares onto a train to Ponyville, and you being you helped, even if it was one of your worse enemies. You managed to help Twilight herd/force the mares onto the train (the less said about that thoroughly unpleasant, annoying, and chaotic train ride back, the better). After you literally dragged the three flipped personality mares back to Twilight's house (the fourth carried "Tom" on her back the whole way through). However as soon as you got there, Rarity garbed The Inventory off of you while screaming "MINE!" and began to run away.

*snap*

Your eyes glow orange as you chased her yelling,

"Give that back!"

As Rarity ran, she started to rummage through the Inventory. Finally she took out Nightshade's still asleep form and began to run away with her, dropping The Inventory. You quickly picked up The Inventory and put it on as you continued giving chase. But Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity begin to play keep away with her.

"Girls! What's the matter with you girls? Stop It! That's Cruel! Nopony deserves this, not even him! And especially not that filly!" Twilight yells in disbelief and horror.

"I'm helping Twi! I'm doing all I can." Applejack says as she tosses Nightshade above your head to Pinkie.

"Foals... I hate foals!" Pinkie yells bouncing Nightshade off her back.

"Bugs don't deserve nice things!" Fluttershy cruelly taunts as she roughly throws Nightshade at Rarity.

"MINE!!!" Rarity screams.

You suddenly get flashbacks back to your foalhood in the Hive when you were bullied for your orange hair.

Ha ha ha haha! Keep away from orange-skull!

The flashbacks, your fear for your daughter, putting up with the discorded mares. You can't take it anymore! The Nightmare Cloak bursts out in a yell causing the mares to all stop and look at you in horror as you attack.

First you scream, "Falcon Punch" and your flame-encased hoof slams into Pinkie's face and sends her smashing through the door and into a fruit stand (which suddenly transformed into a taco stand just before impact).

Next, you jump towards Applejack and yell "No Shadow Kick" before pummeling the farmpony with a barrage of kicks before knocking her onto and breaking the table with the last kick.

You then dash over to Rarity and cry out "Shoryuken!" and uppercut the fashionista so she smashes into the ceiling before roughly crashing onto the boulder. Unbelievably, she ignores her obvious injuries and starts fussing over her boulder,

"You savage brute! You could've tarnished Tom! Don't worry you Diamond hunk! Mama Rarity will make you shine like new."

You turn your glowing eyes on Fluttershy and you swore you saw a look of pure fear on her face, but you're too enraged to care as you lash out with the nightmare tail and grab her before violently slamming her into a bookcase as the DFV whispers,

Yes... Crush the life out of her once sweet little throat... Deja vu much?

Giving in to the whispers, you move your tail to her throat and squeeze, but you're suddenly knocked on your side by a blast of magic as Fluttershy starts gasping for air. You get up ready to tear apart the first living thing you see, but Twilight levitates a (somehow still sleeping) Nightshade towards you as she yells,

"Here's your daughter! She's fine! Just take her and get away from my friends!"

Snapping out of it, you saw the damaged mares and realized what you were about to do. You quickly grab Nightshade, put her in The Inventory, and ran away with tears of regret and sorrow in your eyes. As you're running away, you don't notice the mare running towards you due to the tears in your eyes and since lady luck hates you, you both crashed into each other head on. You hold your head in pain as you curse lady luck. As you're about to mumble a sorry to the pony you hit, you hear her say,

"Oh... my..."

You look up to see a grey mare earth pony with a dark gray mane and tail and grayish mulberry eyes looking at you in shock, and you are about to ask her what's wrong, when she says,

"Your'e... the... Hooded Offender!" You are about to scram when she said that, thinking she was going to attack you or something. When you notice something...

Why is she blushing so hard? Does she have a fever or something?

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPiUuGLOSkU

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Finally figured out of the YouTube link works as you can tell.

Great news! I have asked Mind's Eye and Erised to become proofreaders for the story. And they both said yes!. Their first proofread will be for the Monday chapter. So give them your support and wish them luck.

ATTENTION: The winners for the Cover art contest and writing contest have been announced. So go check out that blog to see who won!

Wednesday's question answer is...

Five Night's at Freddie's. No exceptions.

Congrats to everyling who said 'Five Night's at Freddie's' was scary as heck. I am fine with jump scares, but you give me psychological horror and mix it with suspense, jump scare, and creepy creatures, and you'll find me under my blanket rocking back and forth crying in fear.

Today's question is....

Favorite 70's, 80's, or 90's action movie?

From Commando to Die Hard, what was your favorite 70's, 80's, or 90's action movie? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 7: The Hooded Offender...Fan Club?!?!?!

Be careful. This one is already gray. You might not be able to trust anything she says or does. But since she's blushing, she might be a fan. And if she's a fan, she might help you figure something out. Aside form Discord and the Deadly Five, there's one party whose motives you don't know yet: the Doctor's. He said he would contact you in the hall of mirrors, but you haven't heard from him. Just what are you supposed to be doing?

A pony that is actually likes you instead of instantly hating you? This could be interesting... and a little scary.

Careful, Bugze, she could secretly be an assassin trying to get close... but then again, she could just be a fan mare... either way, you could get mauled...

The mare continues to stare at you with big sparkling eyes. No seriously, her eye are sparkling and she looks like shes about to exploded in happiness. You can't help but think as you stare back,

Careful Bugze, for all you know this could be a assassin sent to kill you by your ex-queen-

The mare in front of you starts to giggle like a fanfilly. You tilt your head in confusion as you think,

Then again she could be a fanfilly... of course that means I'm still in danger!

You shiver in dread as you remember the time you went to a music convention in Manehatten that had *gag* Justin Beatbox there (you were on an official mission for the Hive, but you got sidetracked as usual). While you were there (dressed up as a supervillain of course), you happened to pass by where he was having a panel. You were planing to throw a pie at his annoying-voiced face when you heard this high-pitched scream coming from the room. You decided to take a peek to see what was going on and what you saw horrified you to this day, Beatbox being dragged into a crowd of screaming mares and fillies. While he was being dragged, mares would hop onto him and tear off pieces of his clothing and mane while shouting the creepiest of things like "I wanna bare your foals! and "Give me your kidneys!" You did what any reasonable stallion would do in that situation... you scream bloody murder and slammed the door before any of the fan mares could get out. You still have nightmares to this day about that experience...

With that in mind, you can't help but think,

Lady luck, if you have any respect for me left, please, please, let this mare just have a fever. Or she could just be grayed like the mares (given how grey she is, I wouldn't be surprised...), or even an assassin out to jam a hidden blade into my neck, just ANYTHING but a rabid fanfilly...

As you're begging lady luck that this mare is anything but a fan mare, and random thought enters you mind,

You know something, I know almost everyling's motive in this whole mess. The Deadly 5 want me dead, this lunatic Discord wants me to be his twisted evil friend (reminds me of a certain evil voice *cough*DFV*cough*), but there's one party's motives who I don't understand... The Doctor's.

As you think this, you begin to pace back and froth while rubbing your chin with your hoof in thought, causing the grey mare to look at you strangely.

I mean, he made me come out of hiding, give up my peaceful life in Appleloosa, and put my daughter back into danger, but he doesn't even bother to show up! I mean who does that?! And now, not one, but TWO evil beings are trying to be my friend and/or master! I swear the next time I see him I'm gonna-

"Hey, Mister Offender, are you alright?"

You angry mental rambling is cut short when your thoughts are interrupted by the gray mare. You turn to her and are about to respond rudely to her question due to your anger, when...

you act all gently bugy around this mare since she isnt trying to kill you ask her what her name is see why she's blushing and why she isnt trying to kill you.

Bugzy, you need to stay calm and buggy on! In this case, as the mare is not tring to kill you, (yet) u should be nice to her.

Calm down bug, there's no reason to be mad at her... Unless she's a assassin, in which case then you can be mad, but for now act nice. Got it, deep breaths, deep breaths...

After you managed to calm yourself down before you do something stupid... again. You then answer the mares question in a calm tone,

"Uh yeah I'm fine hehehe, just thinking is all. Now I've got a question for you. Who are you and why aren't you trying to kill me?"

She seems taken aback by your question, before she says in a overly excited tone...

She realizes she hasn't introduced herself and begins stammering "Oh, yes. Well... I am Octavia. I was there when you saved everyone at the gala. I honestly thought we were done for when the ceiling began to collapse. You saved our lives... you saved my life." Her blush intensifies at that last part and she bats her eyelashes.

She looks at you, takes a breath and proclaims
O: "I'm a Huge fan of yours! In Fact, I'm Vice President of your Fan Club! I'm Octavia by the way, and it is an honor to meet you again after your Resurrection! (She Starts Shaking your hoof vigorously)"
OK, you weren't expecting that, seeing as how you just fought four mares with her same coat color and everything
You: Oh, Umm...That's nice? Wait! I have a Fan Club?
O: Of Course you do, how could you not? You're the hero that Equestria Needs even if you're not the one it wants. I knew you would come back! The minute the weather started pouring Chocolate Milk I knew you would come back to save the day!
She says in a fangirl squeal
You: Um...(Seriously, that's a lot to take in. Though it is nice that you apparently have more supporters than you thought)
O: OH will you please come with me? My Friends and I are all followers of you oh Great Hooded Offender! We will help you with anything you need.
She leans in close to your face and says in a seductive Whispher
O: Anything...
Now you have a blush on your face as red as The Hick's Gigundo Brother, but luckily she can't see it with the Hood.
You: Heh heh heh (you laugh nervously) Well OK, yes! Let's figure out this problem! Take me to my Fans!
She Squees happily as she takes you by the hoof and drags you towards a house in the middle of town.
She all but kicks down the door as she jumps through and proclaims.
O: Everyone!!!! HE'S BACK!!!!
You see gasps of surprise from countless hiding ponies. There's a White Unicorn with crazy shades on, a Green Unicorn with a Harp Cutiemark, an Earth Pony with a Candy Cutie Mark, A Violet Pony with a cutie mark of Grapes and countless others who all look to you in Awe
You: ummm....HI?
The all break out cheering

"Kill you? Never! I'm Octavia. I was there when you saved everypony at the gala! I honestly thought we were done for when the ceiling began to collapse. You saved our lives... you saved my life."

Her blush intensifies at that last part, before she quickly shakes her head as she stutters,

"And... and besides, I could never kill you. I'm just became a huge fan when you saved me, I'm even the vice-president of the Ponyville faction of your fan club 'The Horde'. And sir, I must say it is a honor to meet you after your resurrection!"

As she's saying this, she starts to shake your hoof vigorously (You think it could put Braeburn's to shame). After you finally stop your hoof from shaking, you guiltily remember the melee at the GGG and say,

"Uhhhh, you do know that I was the nightmare psycho monster that attacked and destroyed the gala... right?"

You look down in shame as you said this, but to your surprise Octavia giggles and says,

"Of course I do, but I believe that you made up for it by saving us all from the ceiling when it was collapsing. Also, that Blueblood jerk made several uncouth passes at me, I noticed him leering at my flank the entire night, not to mention acting like a total jerk to my acquaintance Miss Rarity. Plus..."

She blushes as she continues,

"During the brawl, I was running for cover when this big Diamond Dog pounced on me. I felt so terrified and helpless, but you grabbed him off of me, slammed him into some Guards, then threw him into one of the ice sculptures. If you hadn't done that I...*shiver* I don't ever want to think of what that brute would've done to me..."

She then began to rub her hoof on the ground while mumbling so low that you can't hear her, but you swore you heard her say "love" and "you". But you just shrug it off and say,

"Oh, that's awesome I guess-wait. Fan Club!" you yell as you remember that "And it even has Factions!?"

Of course, this is all coming from a mare who has the same coat color as the mares who, just a few minutes ago, were acting completely opposite of themselves, so I have no idea if I can trust a word she says. That and I know from that one gossip magazine I read back at Appleloosa that there were rumors of a fan club which was confirmed by all those ponies who went to my 'memorial', but I never thought it would be big enough to have factions! How is that even poss-

Your mental rambling is interrupted when the grey mare, Octavia, spoke again.

"Of course you do! The biggest faction of 'The Horde' is in Canterlot if I remember correctly. And how could you not have a fan club? You're the hero that Equestria needs even if you're not the one it wants. I knew you would come back! The minute the weather started pouring Chocolate Milk I knew you would come back to save the day *SQUEEEEEEEEE*!"

You flinch at how high pitched her squeeing is, and you think in fear,

Luna help me, she is a super fan mare! Lady luck hates me for sure.

Suddenly, your vision is covered by grey as you suddenly find her inches away as she Ooo's and says,

"It's true, your face really is covered in darkness."

Seeing as your personal space is being violated, you say what any other pony or bug would say,

"Uhhhhhhhhhh..."

Octavia suddenly grabs your hoof again as she says excitedly,

"Hooded Offender will you please come with me? My Friends and I are all followers of you and they would love to meet you in person! We'll help you with anything you need."

She then suddenly leans in close to your ear and she says in a seductive whisper,

"Anything..."

*Splurt*

Blood shoots out of your nose as she says that and a blush as red as The Hick's Gigundo Brother forms on your face. You quickly regain your composure as you say in a nervous stutter,

"Heh heh heh well..okay, yes! Let's go meet the fans!"

Octavia squees happily as she drags you to who knows where...

10 MINUTES LATER

It appears that Octavia is dragging you towards a house in the middle of Ponyville. You're currently covered in soap because apparently Discord thought it would be funny if the ground was turned to soap. As you reach the door to the house (which, for some reason, is painted entirely black) Octavia all but kicks down the door as she jumps through (still holding your hoof like its her cello) and proclaims in pure happiness,

"Everypony!!!! HE'S BACK!!!!"

You get off the ground as you hear a bunch gasps as a bunch of ponies jump out of hiding. There's a White Unicorn with crazy shades on, the Green Unicorn and the Earth Pony with a Candy Cutie Mark you helped saved when you were in your "El Hunnko" suit, A violet earth pony with a cutie mark of grapes, a carnation unicorn filly who you guess is the daughter of the violet earth pony, and quite a few others who all look to you in Awe. You chuckle nervously at the sudden attention as you say awkwardly,

"Uhhhh... Hi."

The room suddenly erupts in shouts of happiness and awe. You begin to smile at this when...

The unicorn with a wild blue mane by the name of Vinyl Scratch walks up and bows before putting you in a bone-crushing hug. "Aww yeah! What'd I tell you all? The legend never dies! He's back and he's gonna save us all!"
Octavia manages to pry the eccentric mare off you, allowing you to breathe again. "Vinyl, it's rude to invade one's personal space like that." she turns to you "You know... unless you want that from us. We'd be happy to snuggle- I mean, give you support."
Vinyl gets a cheeky grin on her face. "Tavi, do you have the hots for the Hood?"
"Wh- what?! NO! Of course not, I just admire him and-"
"Threesome later!" Vinyl yells as she drags the two of you into a group hug.

The unicorn with the wild blue mane and the wicked shades (you want your own now, but in orange instead of purple) walks up and bows before putting you in a bone-crushing hug. Your face starts to turn blue and you think,

Gak! Can't... breath... need... air.

The neon blue-haired unicorn then says as you slowly run out of air,

"Aww yeah! What'd I tell you all? The legend never dies! He's back and he's gonna save us all!"

Octavia, noticing your now limp form, manages to pry the eccentric mare off you causing you to collapse onto the floor as you think,

Air, sweet sweet air, never leave me again.

Octavia gives a disapproving glare towards the mare as she says,

"Vinyl! It's rude to invade one's personal space like that."

She turns to you as you finish gasping for air and says,

"You know... unless you want that from us. We'd be happy to snuggle- I mean, give! Yeah, give you support."

You look at Octavia strangely as the now named Vinyl says with a cheeky grin,

"Tavi, do you have the hots for the Hood?"

Octavia blushes bright red as she says in a stutter,

"Wh- what?! NO! Of course not, I just admire him and-"

"Threesome later!"

Vinyl yells, interrupting Octavia, as she drags the two of you into a group hug.

*Spurt*

You begin to blush as red as a apple as even more blood spurts from your nose as Octavia blushes even brighter and yells,

"VINYL!!!"

Assuming that these mares are probably are under the chaos influence and regretfully remembering your vow to Luna to be good, you regretfully reject/resist to take advantage of the threesome offer... Being a hero is so hard at times.

Is she bucking serious! I mean, I've never even been noticed by mares throughout my life and now I have these mares throwing themselves at me! Besides, Octavia and Vinyl do look pretty cute- NO! Bad Bug! These mares are obviously affected by all this craziness and ain't thinking of their own free will! Remember your vow to Luna? (You know, before she threatened to kill your daughter... *snap*) You're a good bug now. You save ponies, you have self-restraint... you sort your recyclables. Yeah... good changeling stuff.

"Uh, no thanks Vinyl. You see I got a, uh... thing that needs to be done later, so yeah I can't make it to that so... yeah."

Vinyl lets you go and you see the disappointed look on her face, but she suddenly perks up with a mischievous smile as she asks,

"Soooo... got a special somepony, H.O.?"

You blush uncontrollably as all the mares in the room lean in to hear the answer.

Luna help me...

30 MINUTES LATER

The mare quickly explains herself to be Octavia, and to be al loyal member of the horde. Somewhat taken aback by meeting one of your fans, you exchange a bit of awkward conversation until Octavia asks what you're doing here. You explain how you were in debt to the Doctor, how he asked you to come to Canterlot, how you were roped into searching for Discord, and how you just beat up the mane six and ran away.
"Well you're going to go apologize, right?" She asks.
"Why should I. They'd probably just end up attacking me again," you reply.
"But you've got to," Octavia tells you. "If you don't, they'll just go on forever believing that you're evil. You've got to forgive them for their crimes and hope that they forgive you for yours. And if they don't, tell them why they should." By the time Octavia has finished, a soap box has oddly appeared beneath her.
As you process what she's just said, you're eyes shine with rainbow light. You suddenly realize that, though the mane six have been unfair to you, you did beat the tar out of them several times. Some of them needed to learn to be more open minded, but you'd just have to show them how.
This epiphany completed, you resolve to find twilight sparkle and apologize to her. You thank Octavia for everything as you run away.

After a brief party where you signed autographs, drank some punch, made the mares laugh with some of your stories, made them cheer by performing a few of your moves (most notably Falcon Punching a watermelon which somehow caused the pieces to land perfectly in several glasses as smoothies), patched some things around the clubhouse out of habit, and even learned a few things about your fans (Octavia is the cello player for a classically-trained four-pony musical ensemble, that Fluttershy is the president of the Ponyville faction of 'The Horde' (go figure), Vinyl is Octavia's foalhood friend and roommate, Lyra is a fan of "My Little Human" *shudder*, The earth pony with the candy Cutie Mark is Sweetie "Bon Bon" Drops and is Lyra's roommate, foalhood friend, and possible marefriend (you can't tell yet), and the violet earth pony with a cutie mark of grapes is Berry Punch and she's a mother and a high-functioning alcoholic (not a good combination in your eyes)), you are seen standing outside the Club House (that's what the name of the building apparently, and it magically is invisible to those who don't believe the Offender is a hero) with a sad look. You hear the door behind you open as Octavia walks out. She looks at you worried as she asks,

"Offender, you okay?"

You sigh in sadness as you explain how you were roped into searching for Discord, the events of the maze, and how you just beat up the mane six and ran away (You left out the Doctor part because even if she is a fan mare, there was no way she would believe that and Nightshade is a strict secret only shared with those you really trust). She looks at you with pity as she asks,

"Well... you're going to go apologize, right?"

You sadly reply...

"Why should I. They all hate me anyway and would just attack me again."

Octavia gets a determined look as she says,

"But you have to! If you don't, they'll just go on forever believing that you're this evil menace instead of the hero that I... that we... know you are. You've got to forgive them for their crimes and hope that they forgive you for yours like The Horde did. And if they don't, just tell them why they should!"

By the time Octavia has finished, a soapbox has oddly appeared beneath her. As you process what she just said, you suddenly realize that even though the Deadly Five have been unfair to you, you did violently trounce them several times. Some of them needed to learn to be more open-minded, but you'd just have to show them how. This epiphany completed, you resolve to find Twilight and apologize to her. You hug Octavia and say,

"Thank you Octavia."

Octavia only blushes bright red in response and remains frozen as you end the hug and mutter,

"Let this work for once... please."

You then proclaim,

"HOODED OFFENDER, AWAY!"

Before teleporting back to Twilight's house.

After you teleport away, Vinyl walks out of the clubhouse, walks over to Octavia (still frozen and blushing fiercely) and asks,

"Hey Tavi, where did H.O. go?"

Octavia just faints as soon as she hears that.

BACK AT TWILIGHT'S HOUSE

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

*CRASH*

"Ow."

Your teleport worked cause you appeared at Twilight's house, unfortunately it teleported you above her house so you kind of crashed though the roof. You get up while rubbing your head as you mutter,

"I really need someling to teach me how to use this stinking spell."

When you get up, you see Twilight staring sadly at you. That would have been a good thing, but there's just one problem...

Run into a grey Twilight

She's grey.

Luna no... I'm too late...

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Le gasp! Octavia has a obsessive love for the Offender?!?!....Why does that not sound weird now?

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

This chapter has been proofread by Minds Eye and Erised the ink-moth, give them a round of applause people and/or bugs!

Yesterdays question answer is...

Favorite 70's, 80's, or 90's action movie?
Predator
Plenty of action movies have the lone commando or a squad of soldiers up against impossible odds, and they win through their unstoppable badassery. In this movie, that gets flipped. They aren't the unstoppable force. They're hunted by it. They get picked off one by one. The whole movie is tense, brutal, and visceral.

For now on, if there is multiple people commenting the same answer that gets chosen, the person who first commented it will have their answer displayed in the authors, so give a congrats to Mind's Eye who was the first one to suggest Predator.

Today's question is...

Favorite moment of MLP Season 2?

Whats your favorite moment My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 2? Give me your answers and explain why. Who knows, if you explain it well enough, it might have a shot of making it into this fic!

Episode 8: Giving Hope To The Hopeless

"Twilight! Oh sweet Celestia, NNOOOO! I was to late to save- What are you doing?" you interrupt your own dramatic anguish to stare at the unicorn as she packs a suitcase.
"I'm leaving." She tells you "Discord can do whatever he wants; I won't stop him."
This boggles your mind. If there's anything Twilight is known for... it's liking books a whole, whole lot. But if there's another thing she's known for, its stopping the bad guys, painfully.
"Twilight that's not you talking, it's Discord's mind games! Snap out of it!" you slap her. Normally a suicidally bad idea, but this time she just slowly turns her head back to you, her expression, completely defeated.
"It doesn't matter," She says with tears welling up "there's nothing left that's worth saving. My friends are gone and even if they weren't... they're not the ponies I became friends with anymore. Why would I keep trying when that's been lost? Why keep going when our friendship is over?"
"Because if you don't, that means Discord just gets away with all of this! You went out of you way to stop me from doing whatever, so why does he get a free pass?! Huh?"

Bugze, you've got to snap her out of it, tell her to remember all the good times she had with her friends... just don't mention the times they tried to kill you...

All you can do is stare in shock at the grayed form of Twilight Sparkle. The look of pure defeat and hopelessness on her face saddens you to no end. You can't help but think,

Luna no... this can't be happening! She looked so determined when we were trapped in that maze. To see her like this... I can't even-

You end your thoughts as you decide to voice your sadness and say,

"No, no, no, no, Twilight! This couldn't have happened, it just, it jus... oh sweet Luna NOOOOOOOO! I was too late, too bucking late to save yo-What are you doing?"

You interrupt your melodramatic despair (including cliche hoof-pounding the ground in anger) as you stare at unicorn as she starts to... pack her bags? Twilight just sighs in defeat as she says with a hopeless tone,

"Isn't it obvious, I'm leaving. Discord can do whatever he wants, I won't stop him. I'm done saving Equestria, I'm done with friendship. I just don't care anymore."

As she says this, she throws a crown into a nearby trashcan. For some reason, you can't help but feel that the crown is not only very important, but also very dangerous. You stop looking at the crown as you see Twilight pick up the suitcase with her magic and start to walk downstairs. You stare at her retreating form in complete shock and think,

This... This isn't her! If there's one thing I know about Twilight... it's that she likes to zap me with magic... a lot. But, if there's another thing I know about her, it's that she'll never give up trying to stop the bad guy (usually me... painfully...).

You finally snap out of your mental rambling when you hear a door open and close. You shout out,

"Woah, wait!" as you run down the stairs and out the front door.

You run in front of Twilight, blocking her path. Twilight just gives you a sad look as she says,

"What are you doing? Can't you see that I don't want to be here anymore?"

Deciding that you can't stand to see her like this anymore, you give her a cold glare as you say in a determined tone,

"Twilight that's not you talking, it's Discord's mind games! From what I've seen, you love your friends... for some strange reason. Remember all the times you've had with them! Remember all the memories you've made with them! Remember all the times you all beat the stuffing out of me- Wait..."

Twilight just continues to stare at you with a empty look.You growl in anger as you yell,

"Snap out of it!"

You reel your hoof back and...

*SMACK*

You slap her with enough force to snap her head to the left. Normally it would be outright suicide to slap a mare, but considering that it's one of those "Get a hold of yourself, mare!" slaps, you hope she'll understand. Twilight just slowly looks back at you with tears going down her face as she says in a defeated tone,

"It doesn't matter, there's nothing left that's worth saving. My friends are gone and even if they weren't... they're not the ponies I became friends with anymore. Why would I keep trying when that's been lost? Why keep going when our friendship is over?"

By the time she's finished, there are streams of tears falling off her face. You look at her in pity, but that pity soon turns into anger as you shout,

"Because if you don't, that means Discord just gets away with all of this! You went out of you way to stop me from doing whatever, so why does he get a free pass?! Huh? You're the most determined pony I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. You didn't give up on taking me down, why give up on taking Discord down!?"

Twilight stops crying as she shakes her head in sadness as she whispers,

"You wouldn't understand."

And with that she...

Grey Twilight just looks at you for a couple seconds, then turns and walks away, back into her house. All hope is truly lost.
"Woah, Twilight!" you call after her, following her in. "What are you doing? Not going to stop Discord, not going to save the day? You're not even going to try to slaughter me where I stand?"
"Go away," she replies sadly as she starts looking for Spike. "I don't have time to deal with you now."
"You're just letting Discord win?" you scream in surprise. "You're just gonna give up and let your enemies walk all over you? That's not like you! Twilight, what happened to you?"
She doesn't answer you; instead she looks around for Spike. "Spike? Where are you?"
You find Spike curled up on the floor, a large pile of letters heaped up next to him. "Spike, what is all this?" Twilight asks.
"The princess has been sending these since we got back," Spike moans as Twilight picks one upand begins to read, amazed.
"These are all the letters i sent to the princess," she gaps as she reads on. You swear you see a time of purple climbing up her coat. "A true friend will always be there for another. Friends can be a great source of strength and courage. A true true friend helps a friend in need." The purple is definitely there, and climbing.
And then it stops. And fades.
"But..." Twilight whispers to herself. "My friends have been awful to me. They've been greedy, dishonest, and mean. Are... are they really friends?"
You remember Octavia' s soapbox speech from before. You remember the feeling of your first friend, and then your second, and then your third. Ask of them. And then you turn to Twilight.
"Listen to me Twilight!" you scream. She stares at you in shock, clearly taken aback. "You have spent the last year hurting me, insulting me, distrusting me, and basically being a species-est jerk! And you know what?" She stares at you, eyes wide with fear.
"I forgive you, Twilight... my friend."
The hearts in her head start spinning. "Forgive...friend...Forgive my friend... *ding!*"
In a flash of light Twilight is purple once more. "Forgive my friends! I know what to do!"
"Great," you say. "So, I'll just be on my way-"
"Oh no, you don't!" Twilight screams. "You beat us up the last time you saw us- you owe us! Look, I need time to get my friends back in order; you distract Discord, make sure he doesn't notice I'm up to something. Now!" She finishes. There's the Twilight you know.

Twilight reveals that she's always suspected you were a good bug, but because Rainbow Dash and Applejack hate you so much she also takes up the anti-Bugze banner because she didn't want to risk losing their friendship over disagreeing on that subject.

Turns and walks away. Remembering that you have to snap her out of it, you quickly follow after her and shout,

"Woah, Twilight! What are you doing? Aren't you going to try and kill me for hitting you? Don't tell me you don't even what to try to slaughter me where I stand?"

Twilight doesn't even bother to look at you as she starts to look for something while saying,

"Go away, I don't have time to deal with you now. I have to find Spike and leave."

Twilight then gives a hollow laugh as she says,

"You know, I always suspected you were a good guy. Ever since you saved us from that dragon. But I never said anything because I was afraid of losing Applejack and Rainbow's friendship to the point where I even rationalized you had some sort of 'mind control' spell."

She gives another hollow laugh before saying,

"I guess it was gonna happen no matter what, huh."

You stare at her in shock at what she said, but you shake your head and think Worry about that later, fix this mess now.Your eye twitches in annoyance as you yell,

"You're just letting Discord win then? You're just gonna give up and let your enemies walk all over you? That's not like you! Twilight, what happened to you? What happened to the determined mare who would stop at nothing to stop me... Even though I'm not a bad bug anyway!"

She doesn't answer you at all, instead she looks around some more as she shouts out,

"Spike? Where are you?"

You suddenly hear a moan of pain coming from the next room. Worried that something might have happened to Spike (you guess it was him at least), you charge though the door and see...

Spike curled up on the floor, a large pile of letters heaped up next to him.

"Spike, what is all this?" Twilight asks with a slight hint of worry.

"The princess *burp* has been *burp* sending these *burp* since we got *burp* *hack* *burp* back," Spike moans as Twilight picks one up and begins to read the letter out loud with a look of amazement in her face. You look at the piles of letters in confusion as you think,

What the heck? Why is Spike burping up letters? What are these letters anywa-

"These are all the letters I sent to the princess,"

Well that answers that question...

You think to yourself in a deadpanned tone. You look over to Twilight as she continues to read her 'friendship report' (Must have been a slow day in Canterlot when Celestia made this a thing) and you swear you see a time of purple climbing up her coat.

What the hay?

You rub your eyes to see if you're just seeing things.

Nope, still there. The purple is slowly climbing up her back hoof... I've finally gone insane haven't I?

As you start to second guess your sanity, Twilight starts to use her magic to float multiple scrolls in front of her as she reads out from each one,

"A true friend will always be there for another. Friends can be a great source of strength and courage. The Hooded Offender is being obnoxious again-"

"Hey, I take offense to that! I'm not obnoxious, if anything I"m moderately annoying at most!" You yell out in annoyance.

Twilight ignores your out burst as she continues,

"A true true friend helps a friend in need."

The purple is definitely there, and it's climbing! Maybe it's a sign that she's turning back to normal. Yeah, everything's gonna be fi-

It suddenly stops and it begins to fade away. You can only stare at it's fading form in shock, you then proceeded to face hoof as you think,

Me and my dumb jinxing thoughts... CURSE YOU LADY LUCK!

"But..." You hear Twilight whisper to herself, "My friends have been awful to me. They've been greedy, dishonest, and mean. Are... are they really friends?"

You suddenly get flashbacks to Octavia' s soapbox speech from before and then remember how you felt when you got your first friend, and then your second, and then your third... You remember Braeburn, the Horde (the club ones at least), and Nightshade. With a determined look in your eyes you turn towards Twilight and grab her to make her face you and scream,

"Listen to me Twilight!" She stares at you in shock, clearly taken aback. "You have spent the last year distrusting me, insulting me, hurting me, and basically being a species-est jerk! And you know what?"

She stares at you, eyes wide with fear. She then closes her eyes and waits for the oncoming pain. But you just smile sadly as you...

Hug and cry for her! Yeah! Tear and love can always save everypony from falling to the darkside!!!

Say to grey Twilight, "Don't give in to chaos, Use the friendship Luke! I mean Twilight.

Hug her. She gasps in surprise as some tears escape her eyes. You then whisper to her in what you hope is a comforting tone,

"I forgive you, Twilight... I forgive you, my 'friend'. And Twilight..." You end the hug and push her in front you, hooves still on her shoulders and her head still facing you, and with a look of shame in your eyes you say in sadness,

"Use the friendship Luk- I mean Twilight. Don't ever give in to the darkness Twilight. I gave in and... I almost didn't come back."

Memories of the Gala come back and haunt you as you say this. Twilight looks at you in awe as she starts to say,

"Forgive... friend... Forgive my friend... *ding!*"

In a flash of light Twilight is purple once more.

"Forgive my friends! I know what to do!"

Woah! Talk about a personality change! You think in shock as you let go of Twilight. You smile as you say,

"Also, I'm sorry about what happened with the others (even though they started it), I hope you can forgive me."

Twilight gives you a small smile as she nods yes. You smile in happiness as you say,

"Great, so I'll just be on my way-"

"Oh no, you don't!" Twilight shouts. "You beat us up the last time you saw us- you owe us!"

There's the Twilight I know...

You smile slightly before it dissappears as you say...

You respond, "You're one to talk. You guys have been chasing and pounding me since day 1 so between the thrashings I gave you at the forest, Ponyville, and the Gala I'd say we're more than even!"

"You're one to talk bookworm! You guys have been chasing and pounding me since day 1 so between the thrashings I gave you at the forest, Ponyville, and the Gala I'd say we're more than even!"

"More than even is still uneven, ergo you still owe us."

"Yeah, well... uh... er... fine." You say in a defeated tone as Twilight victoriously smiles before declaring,

"Now let's go get my friends back!"

Twilight runs out of the house and you're about to follow her when you see Spike still lying down in pain. You give a soft sigh as you walk over to him. He looks at you in awe as he says...

Also, you have a conversation with him to soothe him to sleep since he is a big fan of yours.
Spike: I can't believe it, the Hooded Offender, Saving Me From Death Itself!
You: You just got a stomachache kid
Spike: It still counts!
You: OK Then...anyway, thanks for thinking that I'm a hero and all
Spike: No problem, I'm part of the Horde here in Ponyville, I'm Co-Vice President with Octavia!
You: (Smile) well thanks kid, get some rest, right now I have to do something incredibly stupid.
Spike: What?
You: Challenging a God of Chaos to a fight...Ya I might be screwed.

"I can't believe it, the Hooded Offender, Saving Me From Death Itself!"

You chuckle at his statement as you help him up while saying,

"Hehehe you just got a stomachache kid, just drink a ginger ale and you'll be fine in a hour or two."

Spike gives a pout as he says,

"It still counts!"

You chuckle as you hold hold your hooves up defensibly and say,

"Okay, okay you win kid. Anyway, thanks for thinking that I'm a hero and all"

Spike gives a tired yaw as he says sleepily (Probably tried out form all the letter puking),

"No problem, I'm part of the Horde here in Ponyville, I'm Co-Vice President with Octavia! But don't tell the girls, they;ll have my head if they find out (plus Rarity will NEVER go out with me if she knew...)."

You smile at the kid and say,

"Well thanks kid, get some rest, right now I have to do something incredibly stupid."

Spike looks at you in confusion and asks, "What?"

You sigh as you say,

"I'm gonna go out and catch five insane mares to turn them back to just crazy, then I'm gonna go take on a god of chaos... In other words, a typical Monday."

Spike nods his head in agreement. You're about to say something, when you hear Twilight yell,

"HURRY UP OFFENDER! I ALMOST GOT APPLEJACK!"

You then hear Applejack scream,

"NO SHE DOESN'T, SHE'S NOWHERE CLOSE TO ME! AND YOUR STILL MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD!"

You sigh in defeat as you say goodbye to Spike as you walk out the door to see Twilight right on Applejack's heels. You smirk slightly as you think about the item you want and you pull out...

You leered at the running form of LiarJack. "Applejack had her lasso rope. I have my duct tape."

Your duct tape from The Inventory. You look over to where Applejack is running and say,

"Applejack may have her lasso, but I have my duct tape."

With that you start to swing your duct tape around like a sling before you throw it at Applejack...

48 MINUTES LATER

That had to be the strangest forty-eight minutes of your life... and that's saying something. After you captured Applejack in duct tape, Twilight used some sort of spell on her. Suddenly, Applejack's eyes turn into a picture show as they play (what you think is) a bunch of her memories (including ones involving you). After that she turned orange again. After explaining why she was stuck in duck tape, and getting punched in the face by her, then having Twilight step between you and the hick before things could escalate, the three of you set out to get the others.

First was Rarity...

Sweetie Belle (secretly a Horde member out of rebellion at her sister) helps you get into The Carousel Boutique (which has been barricaded by Rarity so she can horde "Tom" all to herself)

One of the Crusaders, Sweetie Belle (who just so happens to be a fan of yours... and Rarity's sister (that must lead to some awkward dinner conversations...)) helped sneak the three of you into Rarity's home (called The Carousel Boutique) which was boarded up so that noling could steal 'Tom' (why Tom of all names for a rock, if anything you would have called it "Rick" or "Rocky"). After multiple needle wounds, crying, and very... very scary threats (along the lines of 'I'll make a suit out of your skin'), you finally managed to hold her down long enough for Twilight to do the spell (Applejack suspiciously didn't try to help you deal with Rarity...). After getting slapped by Rarity for holding her down like a ruffian (and yet she liked it when she was your meat shield... mares, you''ll never understand them), the four of you split up to tackle Pinkie and Fluttershy. You and Twilight went after Fluttershy while Rarity and Applejack went looking for Pinkie.

The Horde helps you catch and restrain their Discorded president, Fluttershy (cue Fluttershy and you apologizing to each other for the beat-down and keep-away with your daughter... And cue surprise from The Horde when they overhear you're a daddy)

You and Twilight ran into Octavia and Vinyl on the way to Fluttershy's. Deciding that you and Twilight could use the extra hoof, you asked them if they wanted to help. They accepted as soon as the words 'help me' left your mouth (Octavia was blushing like a mad mare the whole time for some odd reason). Twilight asks,

"Why are they so willing to help you?"

You replied... "Because... Hey, is that her hut?"

You and the group of four made it to Fluttershy's shed and found her making fun of some bears. When she saw you... well let's just say words were said, ponies were thrown, alot of trees need replanting, and some intervention was needed before you hurt anypony. Finally you, Octavia, and Vinyl managed to hold her down (you find out that Octavia took Karate classes with Rarity and even fought off a few changelings during the invasion alongside Vinyl. When you asked Octavia why she didn't just use her Karate on that Diamond Dog at the gala, she got all flustered and just told you to focus on the job at hoof) so Twilight could do the spell. After Fluttershy was returned to normal, she hugged you as soon as she saw you and cried,

"Oh Hoody, I"m so, so, so, so, so, so sorry about all those mean things I said to you and for what I did to your daughter which was just unacceptable. I will completely understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore..."

You give a small smile as you pull Fluttershy into the hug as you say,

"It's okay Fluttershy, you're forgiven. You'll always be my friend. I mean if you could forgive me for slamming you into a shelf and almost strangling you... twice..."

Before Fluttershy could respond, Vinyl and especially Octavia scream,

"WHAT?!!!"

Then two things happened,

1. They demanded to know who the mother was (Octavia the most, who kept on asking where 'the mother' is so that she could 'polity' ask her to leave you alone... for some odd reason).

2. They fainted as soon as you told them the truth.

Twilight decides you don't have time to wake them up so you all put the unconscious mares in Fluttershy's hut with a note that read,

Off to take on a god of chaos. See ya soon.
-The Hooded Offender
P.S.
Fluttershy asks if you can feed her animals while she's gone.
P.P.S.
HOODED OFFENDER, AW(*scribbles as Twilight yanked you away before you could finish*)

You all went back to Ponyville to see a hog-tied grey Pinkie sitting next to Applejack and Rarity. One magic spell later and shes back to her pink bubbly self... joy...

Finally this lead up to where you are now... trying to figure out how to catch Rainbow Dash...

After helping Twilight restore Fluttershy and three more of the Deadly Five, there's only one pony left: Rainbow Dash.
And you have a genius plan to catch her. "Let's have Fluttershy sneak up on her while she's napping and hold her down. Then the rest of you can pull her to the ground and Twilight can use her magic spell thingy."
Applejack raises an eyebrow. "Fluttershy. Pin down Rainbow Dash. How?"
"Good point. Alright, all of you get in a hot air balloon and--"
"Let me stop you there, varmint. What would keep her from flyin' off full speed when she sees us? She carried four unconscious ponies on her back up in Cloudsdale. She can outfly a balloon."
Twilight taps her hoof for attention. "We need somepony to lure her in close. And we have the perfect volunteer."
You can't help but notice the twinkle in her eye when she looks at you. "You're... talking about me, aren't you?"
"You know her trigger word."
---
"FILLY-FOOOOOLEEEEEEER!"
Your scream echoes from the hill you're standing on. The sound is soon replaced by a high pitched whistling. You shake in your cloak and turn around, searching the sky for what you know is coming.
Rainbow Dash slams into you from behind. Her tackle sends you both rolling on the ground, and she ends up on top of you. She sneers and raises her hoof to punch you where your face would be. "WHAT-DID-YOU-CALL-ME?!"
You cover up as best you can, but the rain of blows won't stop. "Twilight! Now!"
"I'LL-TEACH-YOU!"
"Twilight! Please! I don't want to die here!"
"BREAK-YOUR-JAW-YOU-WON'T-SAY-WHOA!"
A rope finally yanks her off of you. You glare at Applejack as she hogties Rainbow Dash. "You were enjoying that, weren't you?" She snickers.

And you have a genius plan to catch her,

"Let's have Fluttershy sneak up on her while she's napping and hold her down. Then the rest of you can pull her to the ground and Twilight can use her magic spell thingy."

Applejack raises an eyebrow,

"Fluttershy. Pin down Rainbow Dash. How?"

You blush in embarrassment as you say,

"Good point. No offense Fluttershy."

"None taken Hoody."

"Alright, all of you get in a hot air balloon and--"

Twilight interrupts you as she says,

"What would keep her from flyin' off full speed when she sees us? She carried four unconscious ponies on her back up in Cloudsdale. She can easily outfly a balloon."

Rarity taps her hoof for attention,

"We need somepony to lure her in close."

Applejack nods her head as she says,

"Somepony who can make her mad easily..."

Pinkie nods her head super fast as she says,

"And it has to be somepony who's really, really, really, really good at drawing attention."

Twilight smiles as she says,

"And we have the perfect volunteer."

Suddenly everypony is looking at you with a dark smile (besides Fluttershy). You gulp in as you say,

"You're... talking about me, aren't you?"

Twilight nods her head and says,

"You know her trigger word."

You sigh in defeat and mutter,

"Why is it always me..."

THREE MINUTES LATER

You look around the field you're in in fear as you charge up your RCV and yell,

"RAINBOW DASH IS A FILLY-FOOOOOLEEEEEEE-" *WHAM*

When Rainbow Dash slams into you from behind. Her tackle sends you both rolling on the ground and she ends up on top of you. She snarls and raises her hoof to punch you where your face would be as she yells in pure rage,

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

You cover up as best you can, but the rain of blows won't stop,

"Twilight! Now!"

"I'LL-TEACH-YOU!"

"Mares! Please! I don't want to die here!"

"BREAK-YOUR-JAW-YOU-WON'T-SAY-WHOA!"

A rope finally yanks her off of you. You glare at Applejack as she hogties Rainbow Dash.

"You were enjoying that, weren't you?"

She just snickers in response. You give her a deadpanned glare as Twilight does the spell on Rainbow behind you, and you say...

You reply to the mare's taunting, "Go ahead, laugh. A few more seconds and I was gonna Falcon Punch that fillyfooler in the liver!"

"Go ahead, laugh. A few more seconds and I was gonna Falcon Punch that fillyfooler in the live-! *Punch*"

Que you getting punched in the liver by said fillyfooler (while Fluttershy gasps "Hoody!" in horror) who chuckles,

"Thanks for the idea."

You just grunt and gasp in pain as you choke out,

"I... Hate... You..."

Rainbow snickers and says,

"Aww, I love you too Offender."

You finish gasping in pain as you glare at Rainbow and snap,

"Why don't ya take your hick marefriend and go find a cave so you two can have some 'alone time' you fillyfooler!
Before things could escalate, Twilight says,

"Ahem! You two can fight later, right now we need to stop Discord, with The Elements of Harmony!"

She then levitates five necklaces towards the mares and the crown from before towards her head. The same feeling of dread from before appears as you look at the strange items. Before anything else could happen...

-After un-Discording all the mares, you all notice that Discord is creating more dangerously unstable chaos which ends up accidentally scattering the elements around town (something like he unwittingly throws away glass-shaped chocolate milk which lands between you all and explodes) so you volunteer to go confront/delay him while everypony else will try to retrieve the elements

You hear Discord's voice shout "FORE!!!"

You turn around just in time to see a bunch of milk-filled balloons heading straight towards you and the mares. Before you can do anything to stop them from hitting-

*splash*.

The milk bombs send milk forcefully splashing all over the place, which knocks all of you down and scatters the elements all over the town. As the mares look at where the elements used to be in shock, you see Discord causing more dangerously unstable forms of chaos (for example, he's now rolling giant balloons into a bunch of bowler ponies). You think,

At the rate he's going, that lunatic's gonna destroy the whole town! But those element thingys are scattered. What do I... *ding*

Getting an idea, you bark at the mares,

"Alright listen up!"

The mares look at you in shock at your outburst. Getting their attention, you continue,

"I"m gonna go and distract Discord, while you mares go and find those element thingys... got that!"

The mares all nod their heads, while Fluttershy looks at you in worry, but you give her a reassuring nod before you start to head off, but you suddenly turn and say,

"And don't be late this time! Now go!"

The mares nod and start to gallop away in search of the elements while you walk with a determined stride towards where Discord voice came from (you rationalize to yourself that if you're gonna face down a god of chaos, might as well start with a cool action-hero stride)...

A FEW MINUTES LATER

It's time to do what you haven't done in a long time: "I'M THE DISTRACTION!" you yelled at the Discord.

You find Discord sitting on a throne of some sort playing around with some bunnies (as in he's lifting them up in the air, spinning them around, turning them into birds, or turning them back into birds... you can't tell), but now it's time to do something you haven't done in a long time. You get his attention by shouting with the RCV...

"I'M A DISTRACTION!!!"

Discord snaps away the birds and/or bunnies as he chuckles at you display. After he's done laughing he says,

"So, you've decided to join my side player two?" and poofs a pair of controllers into his claws to emphasize his point as he offers one to you.

You laugh and say in a heroic tone,

"Nope! I"m player one, and you're the final boss that's gonna get his butt whooped by me!"

Discord chuckles and throws the controllers behind him (causing a "honk" and a "boink" for some reason...) before he says,

"Bring it on... friend"

Sweat goes down your forehead as you and Discord stand off in preparation to fight the most epic fight of all epicness that will end the debate of which is epic and which is epi-

"Daddy, what is that thing?"

...

"Huh?"

You look at The Inventory to see... Nightshade pointing adorably at Discord. Discord just looks at her in confusion, but then he starts to smile as he says,

"Ohhhh, a new player has entered the game!"

It's times like these that there are four simple words that you love to use, over and over again. And those words of wisdom are...

Buck you lady luck...

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Ohhhh it's about to get all chaotic all up here.

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

Interactive fight scene next. But!, You can not make Discord a sadist psycho killer, chaotic yes, killer no. He can fight, but he won't kill Bugze..but who said anything of discording Nightshade....*evil laugh*. Also make sure to suggest funny reality-warping counters to Bugze's attacks. Anyways besides that, same rules apply here as in the past. No killing from Bugze, but causing the Nightmare cloak to activate is fair game. Have fun and be creative.

Yesterdays question answer is...

This Day Aria, the song that Chrysalis sang. Reason: it's Chysalis. Sadly you can only reference it because the invasion already happened.

Congrats to Lord Sergal for suggesting this. Now you all may be thinking why I thought this was the best part of season 2 even though my name is Down with Chrysalis. But, I have to say I love this song. The tempo and the lyrics are just so good. I just can't help but like it. Now my second favorite moment of season two is the Luna Eclipsed episode. What can I say, I'm a Luna fan (ironic that she's one of the main antagonist in this fic huh).

Today's question is...

What is the most OP (over powered) thing in MLP?

It may be a show for little girls, well it used to at least, but that doesn't mean there aren't some pretty over powered characters, items, or other things in the show. Name the one you think is the most OP, and think hard on it too. BYE!

Episode 9: The Final Boss Of Chaos, The Hooded Offender vs. Discord!!

Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

Discord teleports onto your back and talks to Nightshade. "Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..." he puts on a creepy mask "Do you want to play a game?"
This of course terrifies her and she retreats into The Inventory. Discord raised an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head). "Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all."
"Discord..." you growl "GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins.

You're about to tell Nightshade to get back into The Inventory when you suddenly feel extra weight on your back. When you look, you yelp in surprise as you see Discord laying on your back wearing a sombrero and sunglasses. Before you can say anything, Discord says,

"Hello my dear, I am Discord, lord of chaotic fun. Since your daddy's being a big buzzkill..."

You wince at how bad that pun was as Discord puts on a creepy mask and says in a deep creepy voice,

"Do you want to play a game?"

Nightshade gives a terrified "eep" as she retreats into The Inventory. Discord poofs the mask away and raises an eyebrow (that keeps going and floats off his head) before saying.

"Well that was quite rude of her, don't you think?" he asks you "I just wanted to share in some fun after all."

*snap*

Your eyes start to glow orange at Discord's tone and by him scaring Nightshade. You growl in anger,

"Discord... GET OFF MY BACK! SHORYUKEN!" and the fight begins as you jump at Discord to attack him...

...

Or you would have if he didn't suddenly appear dressed in a hoofball referee and blowing a whistle while putting up the "time-out" gesture. This somehow causes you to freeze in mid air as you stare at Discord in shock. Discord then snaps his fingers causing the outfit and whistle to disappear before he walks around you and says,

"Now now Offender, we can't start our game without..."

Use this song

Suddenly he snaps his fingers causing a barbershop hat, shirt, and cane to appear as he proclaims,

"A musical introduction!"

As soon as he says that, music starts to play, some balloons and piles of apples start to make music and Discord begins to sing!

(ha ha ha ha haaa)

"Well well well, what have we here, The Hooded Offender huh?
Oooh I'm really scared ,So your the one everypony's talkin' about? hahaha

You're joking, you're joking, I cant believe it now,
you're joking me, you gotta be, this cant be the right guy.
He's chaotic and faceless I don't know which is best.
I may just fall to pieces if I don't die laughing first."

If only, if only...you think vindictively as he continues,

"If only you had Pinkie-sense for the trouble that's in store,
you better pay attention H.O cause I'm the chaos Lord.

Now if you aren't shaking there's something very wrong.
Cause this may be the last time you hear the chaos song.

whoa (woah)
whoa (woah)
whoa (wooooow)

I'm the lord of chaos dude."

"Now if I'm feeling evil and which i Normally do,
I may just cook a special batch of chocolate rain brew,
and don't you know the one thing that would make it work so well,
a little bit of magic dear now that would be just swell"

"Whoa (whoa)"
"Whoa (whoa)"

"Yeah"

(he's the chaos making man)

You growl in anger at Discord's song and (deciding that you should mouth off to him) sing as well...

"You may be some ancient god of chaos,
But I'm still Equestria's Most Wanted.
So listen up, freak,
I hope it's understood.
Get right back to your stone,
get the buck out of my neighborhood!"

Discord just laughs as he sings...

"Ha you're joking you're joking, I cant believe this news
you think you'll be the death of me? I'll bring out the fun in you

It's funny, I'm laughing, you really are too much.
and now with your permission dude, I'm going to do my stuff."

You look at him in confusion as you ask..

"What are you going to do?"

He puts his arm around you as he says,

"I'm going to make you my chaotic friend."

You try to Shoryuken him off, but you're still stuck in midair so he laughs before he makes a group of cards appear in your hoof and continues to sing...

"The sound of chaos can be heard just everywhere,
for I'm a gambling chaos man, although I don't play fair."

At this part, you see him peeking at your cards (which happens to be a Royal Flush),

"It's much more fun I must confess with minds on the line,
Not mine of course but your daughter's, now that would be just fine."

You glare daggers as your eyes glow orange in anger at what he said and you sing...

"You'll pay for threatening my daughters mind, prepare to become nothing but sludge."

"Oh Offender your something, you should see your face.
Perhaps you should consider the conditions in place.
Your powers are useless, cause your up against a level one-hundred chaos maker,
now I'm the lord of chaos man, its time to make you my friend."

"Ha ha ha ha ha"

After Discord stops laughing he snaps his fingers, causing you to fall outta the air as his barbershop costume poofs away. Discord begins to chuckle, before he stops when he sees your eyes. He looks at you in confusion and says,

"That's strange... I don't remember giving you glowing eyes... oh well!"

He gives an indifferent shrug and says in a deep voice which you swear you've heard somewhere before,

"Round 1... Fight!"

You just glare angrily as you charge Discord and...

When Bugze uses Falcon Punch, Discord blasts him with chocolate milk from a fire hose, extinguishing the attack.

You call out,

"FALCON PUN-*splash*"

Your orange flame is extinguished by Discord spraying you with chocolate milk from a fire house while wearing a firepony's uniform. Discord chuckles and says,

"Why don't you just cool off. Heh heh. By the way, got milk? Hahahaha-"

Bugzy tries to uppercut into Discord, but he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy. While Bugzy is stuck, Discord mentions that he looks a bit "Under the weather" at which Bugzy gets drenched in grape soda from the cloud and frozen solid.

"SHORYUKEN!"

You come at Discord with a rising uppercut,

*snap*

But he replaces himself with a cloud of cotton candy which you get stuck in. He then says,

"Hey H.O., I don't know if you've noticed but you look a little..."

The cotton candy cloud starts drenching you with grape soda as Discord continues,

"Under the weather. Hahahaha. I slay me..."

When Bugze tries a No-Shadow Kick, Discord holds a giant magnifying glass to the sun, striking Bugze with a bolt of hot sunlight and proving once and for all that the kick has a shadow

Ugh, so many dumb puns... I know! I'll just attack while he's busy laughing! you think before you take a big bite out of the cloud, leap at Discord, and call out,

"NO SHADOW KICK!"

But before the first kick even connects with Discord, he suddenly holds up a giant magnifying glass which flash-fries you with a bolt of hot sunlight. You somehow stay stuck in midair for a few more moments before letting out a puff of smoke from your mouth before falling to the ground in a comically smoking heat as Discord (who's now made himself into two Discords with one wearing glasses while the other wears a beret) comments,

"So what are your conclusions on the myth that the 'No Shadow Kick' literally has no shadow?"

"Well Discord 2, I say we can most definitely consider that myth, BUSTED."

When Bugze tries a Psycho Crusher, Discord blocks it with a giant chocolate banana pie, and Bugze comments about how he's never going to get the stains out of his cloak.

Okay... The classics clearly aren't working so let's try a new one.

You kick yourself back up and call out,

"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"

And send yourself spinning like a bullet towards Discord,

*snap SPLAT*

But you splat right into a giant chocolate banana cream pie that Discord teleported in front of him with a snap. You stumble out of the giant pastry and mutter,

"Aw Luna, I'm never gonna get these stains out of my awesome coat..."

Suddenly, Discord starts walking up to you while shaking his head saying,

"H.O.. H.O., H.O... surely you can do better than that-"

Since Discord sounds like character from Star Trot and obviously your cool moves aren't working, why not use campy moves?

"The Human Bowling Ball": Roll into Discord's legs which surprisingly catches Discord off guard and knocks him down, but instead of being upset he just gets happier as he says, "Still got some fight in you. Good, in all honesty this was starting to get boring."

Suddenly, you throw yourself onto the ground on your side and roll through Discord's legs, managing to bowl over the chaos spirit.

If cool doesn't work, go for campy.

However, rather than being upset at this, Discord states,

"Still got some tricks up your hood? Good, in all honesty this was starting to get borin-"

"Wall of Destruction": Try to follow up the "Buggy bowling ball" by jumping off a wall to leg-drop Discord while he's on the ground talking, but he counters with a trampoline knocking you into the wall.

You try to catch Discord in mid-speech as you jump off a nearby wall in an attempt to leg-drop Discord, but he snaps his fingers and turns into a trampoline while causes you to bounce off him and slam face-first into a table.

"SHORYUKEN!"
Discord dodges your uppercut. Again. "No no no, H.O. That's the wrong move! I know I've been gone, but how does no one remember the combination?"
"Shut up and let me hit you already!"
He scoffs. "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!"
"How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?"
"You don't. It's all in the timing." Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward. "HADOUKEN!"
The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. A rope wraps around you and stops you cold. Discord drags you back with a cry of, "Get over here!"
"That's the wrong series!"
"Of course it is!" He throws you up in the air and teleports above you. "I'm Discord!" He transforms into a hundred ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down.
You crash and get buried deep into the ground. "You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!" You groan and look at your chest. The massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick.
Those mares better hurry up...

You rush back at Discord and call out,

"SHORYUKEN!"

But Discord dodges your uppercut. Again.

"No no no, H.O." Discord says, "That's still the wrong move! I know I've been gone for a millennium, but how come nopony remember the combination?"

"Shut up and let me hit you already!" You snap.

He scoffs, "I will as soon as you get this move right. Now remember this time: crouch, crouch-forward, forward, and punch. Simple!"

"How in the name of Luna am I supposed to crouch forward?"

"You don't. It's all in the timing."

Discord barely moves, but thrusts both of his arms forward and calls out,

"HADOUKEN!"

The blue fireball launched from his hands slams into you and sends you flying. You feel a rope wrap around you and stop your flight cold as Discord yanks you back with a cry of,

"Get over here!"

"That's the wrong series!" you complain as he catches you by the throat.

"Of course it is!"

He hurls you up in the air and teleports above you.

"I'm Discord!"

He transforms into a hundred-ton weight and drops on top of you, sending you both plummeting down. You crash into the ground and get buried deep into the ground.

"You're eating too much cake with Celestia, H.O. How did you get all the way down here? I'm as light as a feather!"

You groan and look at your chest to see that the massive weight has been replaced with a Lego brick. As you struggle to get out of the ground, you can't help but think,

Luna dang it! Where are those mares with those element-y thingys?!

As you think this, you hear Discord say,

"Oh Offender is that the best you got? Is that all you're gonna do for your daughter?"

Your eyes shoot up in anger as you yell in the RCV...

The nightmare cloak with one tail comes out (seeing as you have the ability to form extra tails, you decide to call this "Phase 2" with "Phase 1" being the glowing orange eyes).

"THAT'S IT!"

And with that you blast the Lego brick off of you in a wave of energy causing a bunch of smoke to build up. Discord looks at the smoke with a magnifying glass and says,

"Oh H.O... where are you? I have a nice cha-*SMACK*!

Discord's sentence is cut short when a midnight-colored tail smacks him into a wall. Discord shakes his head as he literally peals himself off the wall before he looks over to see that you're covered in the Nightmare Cloak, one fox tail coming back to sway behind you. Discord's eye widen in surprise before he smiles and says,

"Well now... looks like Hoody got an upgrade."

"Heh heh, that's right Discord, this is just happens when you make me... upset. Seeing how I can do this for awhile, I think I'll call this... Phase 2."

"Let me guess, Phase 1 is the whole 'glowing eyes of doom' thing?"

"Yup."

Discord smirks and gives you the "Bring it on" gesture with his claw as he says.

"Alright buddy, hit me with your best shot!"

"If you insist... uh, whats that phrase again... oh yeah... OFFENDER SMASH!"

With that you charge at Discord...

Use the staff against him, but not only does Discord literally surf the shockwave, he starts using your staff as a toothpick.

Deciding to use some actual tactics this time, you teleport above and behind Discord as you think of (as calmly as you can under the circumstances) and take the staff out of the Inventory before slamming it end-first into the ground upon landing which unleashes a shockwave upon Discord. To your surprise and horror, you see Discord literally surfing the shockwave while saying,

"Surfs up dudes!"

Discord grabs an assist trophy from your favorite fighting Neightendo game, Super Smash Mares Brawl. A Knuckle Joe jumps out and starts to attack Bugze with his Vulcan Jabs attack. Discord uses other assist trophies to attack Bugze for him. Bugze finally gets to a trophy only for it to be Tingle and he trows banana peels out. Discord is floating so it does not affect him...but it does affect Bugze, as he slips around on banana peels.

Interestingly, throughout the whole battle Discord doesn't seem that cruel or even trying that hard. If anything, he's constantly treating you like a buddy throughout the battle saying things like:

When Discord is done surfing, he suddenly grabs a floating trophy and throws it down to cause a Knuckle Joe to appear. The creature jumps towards you with a flurry of Vulcan Jabs that you barely dodge before you manage to grab it with your tail and spin it around you before throwing it at Discord who just nonchalantly leans to the side to dodge it as Knuckle Joe crashes into a large vase behind Discord causing it to dissappear and another trophy to appear. Seizing this opportunity, you teleport over, grab the trophy, and throw it down...

Only for Tingle to appear and start throwing banana peels everywhere.

Since Discord is now floating it doesn't affect him... but it does affect you as it causes you to start slipping and falling all over the battlefield. Discord then starts laughing and says,

"I haven't had this much fun in ages! Sure, I was imprisoned in stone for ages, but still!"

After the fight drags out: With a large amount of his arsenal rendered useless by the laws of chaos, Bugzy tries to use the environment to his advantage, leading to him swinging a giant candycane at Discord while yelling "There can be only ONE!"
Discord meets him in the clash wielding a giant lollypop. Bugzy glares at discord across their sugary weapons when Discord looks up and says "Oh look, a distraction."
"Hah, you think you can fool me with my own- Gurk!" Bugzy mocks before an anvil etched with the word DISTRACTION falls on his head.

Tingle then disappears, but you're more concerned about thinking of a more effective strategy,

My own skills aren't working... Time to take a page out of the book of the Buffalo and use the environment!

You lash out with your nightmare tail and grab a giant candy-cane before launching yourself at Discord with a yell,

"There can be only ONE!"

You swing the giant candy cane down at Discord who blocks the blow with a giant lollipop. You both stand there glaring at each other across your sugary weapons, both pushing against each other in an attempt to break the stalemate when Discord suddenly looks up and says,

"Oh look, a distraction."

You scoff and mock,

"Hah, you think you can fool me with my own-*KONK*!"

Suddenly, an anvil etched with the word "DISTRACTION" konks onto your head.

Discord laughs at your cartoonishly smashed head and says,

"Ahhhahah, Oh H.O you should see your face. It looks so... pancakey! Ahahahah!"

You grumble in anger as your orange eye glow intensifies. You shove the anvil off your head and yell...

Use Fus Ro Dah and it apparently works as it sends Discord blasting off Team Rocket-style, but suddenly you hear a voice next to you ask,
"Hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?".
Before you could respond, Discord sends you flying down the street with an irritating high-pitched screech-yell that knocks you into the dancing buffalo like a bowling ball as Discord proclaims, "Sttttrike!"

"FUS RO DAH!!!"

The attack actually seems to work as the roar of power sends Discord flying off into the air in a twinkle. You sigh in relief before you hear a voice next to you say,

"Hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?".

Before you could politely decline, Discord lets out an irritating screeching yell that has enough force to send you flying down the street before you crash into the dancing buffalo ballerinas like a bowling ball crashing into bowling pins.

"Sttttttrike!" Discord happily proclaims. "Now for the lightning round!"

Discord then starts rapidly snapping his fingers to start sending objects flying at you like lighting bolts, hadokens, cupcakes, and even a kitchen sink. Fortunately, you're able to almost effortlessly dodge all these projectiles.

Well, at least he doesn't, seem to be a good fighter.... You think to yourself, as you easily dodge his attacks, you wonder why the god of chaos was hardly trying to- wait is that another him dual wielding video game controllers?! He wasent actually fighting you ! "hey! Get overhear and fight you, um, coward!" You yell in anger. The god of chaos wassent even phased and talked to you in a calm tone "oh well if you insist..." The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controler was.... Typing in cheat codes? "lets see.... Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right...... And.... B, A" His controller the turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while his other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of 'thats cheating' but your dark woes conditioned mind was currently telling you "roll darnit roll!" As discord relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well timed rolls the only thing keeping you alive. You hoped the girls would get here before he starts useing his mag- to late, he's already hurling chocolate coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of discords 50 piece attack combo, You charge up your horn and fire a blast of magic at him but it hits his giant mirror and bounces of harmlessly, actually now that you think about it you feel like you've done this before. Discord seemingly recovered from his exhaustion held his controller-sword thing in the air an pressed some of the buttons on the hilt seemingly entering yet another cheat code, as suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap of some kind, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, createing a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. "ok ive definitely seen this before, exept with lightning." You try to take a step foward only to slip and fall, the reason of which could probably be explained by the mysterious soap suds on the ground.

Well, at least he doesn't seem to be that good at offense...

You think to yourself as you easily dodge his attacks.

You'd think a god of chaos would be alot harder to beat than- wait a minute...

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot another Discord dual wielding video game controllers!

What the?! He wasn't even actually fighting me!

"Hey! Get over here and fight me for real you lazy coward!" You yell in anger.

Discord wasn't even phased and says to you in a calm tone,

"Oh well, if you insist..."

The discord you where fighting suddenly deflated as the discord with the controller was... Typing in cheat codes?

"Let's see.... Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right... And... B, A."

His controller then turned into a giant sword with buttons on the handle, while the other turned into a giant shield, or rather a giant mirror shaped like a shield. You would normally yell something along the lines of "Oi, that's cheating!", but you're kinda busy trying to dodge Discord's attacks as he relentlessly swung at you, your surprisingly well-timed rolls being the only thing keeping you alive.

I hope the girls would get here before he starts using his magi- oh buck...

Discord suddenly starts hurling chocolate-coated fire balloons at you now. At the end of Discord's 50 piece attack combo you charge up your horn and fire a stun spell at him, but he brings up his giant mirror shield and the spell bounces off harmlessly and hits an earth pony with a light brown coat and a darker brown mane. Discord then holds his controller-sword thing in the air and presses some of the buttons on the hilt, seemingly entering yet another cheat code. Suddenly the pink clouds around him gathered around the sword and turned into soap, coating the sword with its wonderful cleanliness. He then slammed the sword into the ground, creating a trail of soap that curved to follow you, thankfully you dodge that easily and and avoid the attack. You try to take a step forward only to slip and fall on the soap suds on the ground.

Discord (his sword and shield suddenly disappeared) starts skating around on the soap suds and says,

"Weeeeeee! I don't ever want this fight to end!"

You growl in anger as you get up and glare daggers at Discord, a second tail beginning to form. Discord takes notice of this and asks (while continuing to figure-skate on the suds),

"Are you growing a second tail? You really are chaotic aren't ya?"

He was about to laugh, when...

"Hehehehe..." Your head is down as you laugh creepily. Discord stops his skating and gives you a confused look and asks,

"H.O., you okay buddy? Your laughing is all creepy-like."

Instead of answering, you throw your head up into the air as you let out an insane laugh that's all too familiar to you...

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

You then stop laughing and stare at Discord with a insane look and say,

"Ohhhhhh Discord, come out and play... WITH YOUR LIVER AHAHAHHA!"

And with that you charge at the stunned Discord...

Bugzy tries to Psycho Crusher, but Discord spawns a brick wall full of dynamite in his way.

"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"

You send yourself spinning at Discord who then makes a wall of bricks appear with a snap.

Heh, it'll take more than a wall of bricks to stop-*KA-BOOM*

It turns out the "bricks" were dynamite as the explosion sends you smashing into a ruined building making it collapse onto you.

"Oh, such grace H.O. and what a landing, I give it 6.6 tacos out of pi!"

You lash out with your tail and grab Discord by the arm, but before you can pull, he says,
"GET OVER HERE!"
and yanks you towards him, causing you to splat face-first into a carrot cake he's holding out before Discord comments, "Ain't I a stinker?"

A nightmare tail lashes out of the rubble and wraps around Discord's arm, but he grabs your tail and yells, "GET OVER HERE!" as he yanks you out of the rubble with a mighty tug and splats you head-on with a carrot cake before snickering,

"Ain't I a stinker? Oh, and this may be the cake calling the pie fattening, but isn't doing the exact same thing and expecting different results the definition of insanity?"

Rapid-fire stun spells at Discord who suddenly snaps on a trenchcoat and some sunglasses before leaning back and dodging them all in slow-motion. He then says "Ooo, Ooo, My turn!" he then transforms into a big laser cannon and yells "I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!"

Shaking off the cake, your horn glows and you start rapid-firing stun-spells at Discord. He then suddenly snaps on a black trenchcoat and a pair of sunglasses before proceeding to dodge all your stun spells in slow motion by leaning backwards. After that he says,

"Whoa. My turn!"

With a snap, he transforms into a big laser cannon and yells,

"I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!", before sending a giant beam of energy at you. You barely manage to dodge out of the way of the beam before it obliterates a cabbage cart behind you (causing the owner to scream "MY CABBAGES!").

Throw down a stink/smoke bomb to distract Discord while you teleport behind him and hit him with No Shadow Kick. It works at first, but before you can deliver the final knock-back kick, Discord hits you with a Captain Kirk-style double-fist to the side and proclaims, "C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"

"NO SHADOW KICK!"

The flurry of kicks actually make contact with Discord's back, but before you can deliver the final knock-back kick, he turns and hits you with a Captain Kirk-style double-fist to the side and proclaims,

"C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"

The blow sends you into another wall, but you smash the structure with your nightmare tails and prepare to charge at Discord again when,

*snaps fingers*

You suddenly can't move! You glare insanely at Discord as he says,

"Well that was bananas of fun... but I think we should make this even more interesting and I know just the trick."
With that he snap's his fingers and...

Discord tries to make Nightshade join his side
Discord: Hello there little one, what's your name?
Nightshade: Nightshade
You: Don't you talk to her!
Discord: (snaps his fingers and you lose your voice and can't move) Grownups or talking
NightShade: Daddy?
Discord: Aww Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain moony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister.
Nightshade: (Recoils) I don't like you very much
Discord: You sure about that? (Snaps fingers and cookies and other treats appear causing Night Shade's eyes to dilate and widen)
How about you join me in chaos? We've Got Cookies!
She jumps out and starts munching on all the treats faster than even Discord can believe till she sits holding her swollen belly and relaxes
Discord: My My My,, what an appetite. (He places a hand on her head) you can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your dad over there (she starts to turn gray)
You are furious, but still can't move, but luckily the DFV helps
DFV: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!!
Her added anger causes the tails to appear and they slingshot you at Discord in a high speed Psycho Crusher
Before you hit you Briefly think aloud: WAIT! OUR Daughter?

Nightshade pops out of The Inventory in front of you. Before she can even turn around and see your unstable form, Discord snaps his fingers and makes Nightshade's head snap towards him. He then puts on a smile and says,

"Hello there little one. My apologies about the mask. I'm Discord by the way. What's your name?"

Nightshade looks at him slightly scared before she answers,

"I'm N-N-Nightshade."

Discord then coos and pinches Nightshade's cheek while saying,

"Awww, Aren't you Adorable, you know you remind me of a certain loony princess that went nuts and tried to kill her own sister."

You would have wondered what that could have implied, but you're too busy thinking of ways to mangle Discord for touching your daughter.

Make him pay...

Not now you psycho...

You think back to the DFV. You then see Nightshade eating cookies at super sonic speeds. Apparently while you were thinking, you missed Discord give them to her. But what he says and does next makes your blood boil...

"My My My...what an appetite..."

He offers a cherpumple to her in one hand while he gently places the other one her head,

"You can have all these and more if you just go rebellious teenager on your old dad over there for your new daddy, Discord. What d'ya say?"

Nightshade starts to turn gray as she munches on the cake. You're enraged at this, but you still can't move. Suddenly the DFV Screams within your mind,

GET THAT THING AWAY FROM OUR DAUGHTER!!!

Her added anger along long with yours causes you to let out a horrible piercing scream along while the 3rd tail forms. Discord grabs his ears, wincing in audio pain which stops Nightshade's discording and allows/causes her to flee. While all of this is going on, you can only think,

WAIT! OUR Daughter?

Enter Phase 3...

Soon your scream ends and this starts to play in the background as you glare at Discord with pure hatred, your three tails swishing viciously behind you as you say in a distorted, cold-hearted, legion-like voice that sounds like a mix of your voice and the DVF...

"Discord... Here come the pain!"

Discord just glares at you with a smirk and says,

"Guess that's the end of break. Now for Round 2!"

And with that... you both charge!

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPiUuGLOSkU

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Oh boy, this should be interesting....

While the same rules still apply (no Mary Sue, no killing, no making Discord a sadist, and reality-warping counters to Bugze's attacks), feel free to let Bugze get a few hits in, especially if it involves... I don't know... more tails...

Yesterdays question answer is...

The most OP Is Discord, in my oppinion

The first person to comment this answer was Kichi, so congrats to him/her! I agree with this because imagine what would happen if humans could do what Discord does. *shiver* It'll be a dark day that's for sure.

Today's question is...

Whats the worst movie ever made?

Come on people, get your anger out and tell me the very worst movie ever made...BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 10: Chaos Against Insanity, Who Will Win?

Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

No more games, no more fancy moves, NO MORE YELLING OUT YOUR ATTACKS! JUST KILL HIM, AND SCREW THE ELEMENTS' PLAN!

You and Discord collide together head-on resulting in a shockwave that knocks you both back. You flip and land on your hooves while Discord just floats back while saying,

"Ouch, that actually hurt, H.O are you trying to hurt me?!"

You just growl in anger as your three tails swish behind you in anger, your now sharpened fangs sticking out of your mouth as you think,

That's it! No more games, no more fancy moves, AND NO MORE YELLING OUT MY ATTACKS! I'M GONNA END HIM RIGHT HERE AND NOW! THE MARES' PLAN CAN ROT IN TARTARUS FOR ALL I CARE!

With that angry thought in mind, your horns sprout outta your head as you continue to growl in anger. Discord just huffs and says,

"Fine, be that way. Gimme all you got!"

And with that you just continue to growl as this starts to play in the background before...

You throw a punch. "The circus is leaving town!"
Discord swings a crowbar. "Still one more show!"
You collide in a spectacular explosion that knocks you both back.
Discord grins. "Hoo HOO! I like this side of you!"
"You shouldn't." Your three tails wrap around his arms and one of his legs, and you slam him to the ground. "This form let me beat Celestia!" You slam him again. "What chance do you have?"
"I beat Celestia too, you know." He chuckles. "You missed one, H.O." Discord kicks out his goat leg and it detaches, flying into your face. It knocks you back and then pummels you to the ground. You bring back your tails to shield yourself. Discord teleports over and puts his leg back on. "It's safe to say I have a leg up on the situation."
You groan. "That was horrible, even for you."
You fool! What happend to your scary voice?! You're holding back!
I won't let you win!
WHAT?!
You nearly killed my friends at the Gala! I won't let that happen again! I can control you!
But you can't control HIM!
Discord waves. "Hellooooo? I swear, I'm standing right here, and you don't even notice. Maybe this will get your attention!" He snaps his fingers.
"What... what did you--" A chocolate fountain erupts under you, blowing you sky-high.
Can we please get serious now?

You and Discord charge straight at each other again. You throw a punch and proclaim in a distorted, cold-hearted, legion-like voice that sounds like a mix of your voice and the DVF,

"The circus is leaving town!"

While Discord snaps in and swings a crowbar while proclaiming,

"Still one more show!"

Your hoof and his crowbar collide, resulting in a spectacular explosion that knocks you both back.

Discord grins as he spins in midair and says,

"Hoo HOO! I like this side of you!"

"You shouldn't."

You reply as your three tails lash out and wrap around his arms and one of his legs before slamming him into the ground.

"This form let me beat Celestia!" *WHAM*

You slam him again.

"What chance do you have?"

"I beat Celestia too, you know." He chuckles, "By the way, you missed a spot..."

Discord kicks out his goat leg which detaches and flies straight into your face, knocking you onto your back. Before you can get back up, the leg starts stomping on your face repeatedly before you knock it away with one of your tails. Discord teleports over and catches the leg before screwing it back on and commenting,

"It's safe to say I have a leg up on the situation."

You groan and say in your normal voice,

"That was horrible, even for you."

You fool! What happened to our synchronized voice?! You're holding back!

I'm not letting you out!

WHAT?!

You nearly killed my friends at the Gala! There's no way I'm letting that happen again. I can control you!

But you can't control HIM!

While this internal argument is going on, Discord gets right in front of you, waves a claw in your face, and says,

"Hellooooo? Anypony home? I swear, I'm standing right here, and you don't even notice! Maybe this will get your attention!"

He snaps his fingers causing a chocolate fountain to erupt under you, blowing you into a taco cart which explodes and sends tacos flying in every direction. Discord nonchalantly catches one and throws it into his mouth before saying (with his mouth full),

*crunch*"Con we pwease get sewious mow?"*gulp*

You growl in anger as you shake sour cream and brown tofu off you and you hear the DFV say in your mind,

See! You can't do this on your own, you can't beat him! You need your only friend just to even think about beating this babbling fool!

You snort in anger and think back to her,

Shut up! I don't need you to fight this lunatic!

With that you proceeded to...

Use Meteor Impact, but Discord transforms into Babe Ruth and literally knocks you around the world before catching you in an oversized catcher's mitt. He then transforms into Dan Marino and proclaims, "TOUCHDOWN!" and spikes you into the ground like a football.

Raise your tails into the air and slam them into the ground with earth-shaking force launching you high into the air. When you reach the height of your ascent, you cast a midnight-colored forcefield around yourself and fall back down to Earth towards Discord calling out,

"METEOR IMPACT!"

However, you didn't notice Discord suddenly wearing a baseball uniform and cap and holding a giant rubber chicken like a bat as he says in a newsreel announcer voice,

"It's the middle of the 10th and The Spirit of Swat is up to chicken. H.O. makes the pitch, The Discordino swings and..."

*CRACK*

Discord's rubber chicken sends you flying away at high speed. You swore you were going around the world when suddenly you feel yourself slam into a leathery surface. After shaking your head, you noticed that you're in a giant catcher's mitt before Discord changes into a hoofball uniform and helmet and says (still in the announcer voice),

"And Big Papa Discord does it again!"

With a cry of "TOUCHDOWN!", Discord spikes you head-first into the ground. You growl in anger as you get up from the you-sized crater as, unnoticed by you, a fourth fox tail begins to grow and your Nightmare Cloak becomes even more unstable! Discord doesn't seem to notice as well as he starts to do an obnoxious hoofball victory dance... With a beach ball. You let out a roar of anger as you...

Your Kung Fu and Video Game Moves don't work. It's time to unleash the Nightmare Power within you. Let your Anger fuel your strength.
The DFV seems to be your second set of eyes as your tails counter off any surprise attacks that he throws after teleporting without you even knowing about them.
Discord then starts punching at you incredible fast while saying "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!!" over and over again. And you can must rapidly block.
He also gives his own FUS RO DAH and knocks you off your feet
You: THAT'S MY MOVE!!!
Discord: I didn't see your name on it!

Right before Discord and Bugze reach each other, one of his fox tails pulls out a stink bomb and detonates it in Discord's face. As Discord reels back, Bugze punches Discord in the jaw causing it to spin around his head a few times until Discord catches it and puts it back in place. Discord responds "Well, that was naughty." Bugze runs around firing stun spells that hit Discord causing to take a step back with each hit until he has enough and yells "ENOUGH!!" I am a GOD! I will not be bullied by a pathe-" Bugze's tails grab Discord's and starts slamming back and forth into the ground like Hulk from the Avengers.

Charge at Discord, but he then stops his dance and starts punching at you incredible fast while saying, "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!" over and over again. Fortunately, the DFV seems to be your second set of eyes as your tails move on their own initiative and manage to block every single one of Discord's punch flurry. Seeing that his machine gun-punching isn't working, he teleports behind you,

FUS RO DAH!

And sends you smashing through an upside down house. You quickly get back up and shake off the rubble as you yell,

"HEY! THAT'S MY MOVE!!!"

Discord responds. "I didn't see your name on it-! *shatter*"

While Discord was taunting you, one of your tails pulled out one of your stink/smoke bombs and threw it at Discord's feet. As Discord reels back in surprise you suddenly fly out of the smoke and punch him in the jaw, causing his head to spin until Discord catches it and responds,

"Well, that was naugh-*zap*"

Discord reels back as a stun spell zaps him in the face followed by another and another and another...

While Discord's head was spinning, you charged up your horn and started to rapid-fire stun spells at the chaos spirit, forcing him to take a step back with every hit.

MEANWHILE IN A BUSH NEARBY

"Come on Offender! Show that mixed up freak who's boss!" Lyra (who's shouting behind a nearby bush) screams while a worried looking Bon Bon tries to pull her to safety.

"Come on Lyra we need to get outta here, it's not safe!"

Lyra sends Bon Bon a backwards glance before saying,

"And miss out on the Hooded Offender fighting the embodiment of chaos? No way Bonny!"

Bon Bon stops trying to pull her back as she too gets absorbed in the fight.

BACK AT THE FIGHT

Eventually, Discord has enough of it and yells,

"ENOUGH!" causing a brick wall to appear in front of him and block your spells as he continues,

"I am a GOD you amateur! And I will not be teased by-ack!"

Your tails suddenly lash around the wall and grab Discord before pulling him through the wall so he's in front of you and then you proceed to start smashing him on the ground around youbefore throwing him into a cabbage cart ("MY BACKUP CABBAGES!" somepony yells). After throwing Discord away, you finally notice your new fourth tail,

"Huh. That's new- *splat*"

Suddenly a bunch of watermelons rain on you as Discord says,

"Oh my me, it's raining watermallons!"

You knock the watermelons away from you with your tails and growl in anger at Discord's joke. You're about to attack him again when the DFV screams,

THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS FOOL! I'M TAKING OVER!

You feel your control of your body slipping as you struggle and think,

No! I won't... let.., you... take...control...

It's too late as you hear the DFV say with your mouth...

"Assuming direct control."

Discord stops laughing and looks confused at what 'you' said, but then he just shrugs before continuing to laugh. As soon as she takes control, a fifth fox tail begins to grow. Now that you're not in control of your own body, you notice this and think

That... that can't be good...

Finished with that thought, all you can do is helplessly watch as the DFV...

Finally you have enough. Your tails unleash a dark mist that completely encompasses you and Discord for a brief moment, to which he can't even escape.
Discord: What in the world is this?
You: Welcome to my Nightmare (you say in your evil legion voice)
Silent Hill level horrors come out of the wood work and start attacking Discord, he still has his base powers but can't teleport out so he attacks back
You: Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams (yes, you somehow made that sound scary)
Discord: Oh lord, is that how I sound to others?
While he's overwhelmed wrap a tail around his throat
You: COME HERE!
Use this time wisely and unleash an ULTRA COMBO onto all parts of his body, especially onto his family jewels
He doubles over in pain as the mist dissipates and his voice is a few octaves too high.
Discord: Why!
You: Hey, you hurt my children, I hurt yours, potential or otherwise.
You then proceed to keep fighting eachother to a stalemate.

Unleashes a dark mist that completely encompasses you and Discord who asks,

"What in the name of chaos is this?"

"Welcome to My Domain..."

Horrors then start popping out of the woodwork and start attacking Discord. While he can't teleport out, he still has his basic abilities so he fights back and effortlessly destroys the horrors coming at him as DFV says,

"Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and all of my realities become dreams."

"Oh lord, is that how I sound to others, and who are you? You sound nothing like H.O. Did he switch out on our fight-woah!"

Suddenly a group of monstrosities pop out of the ground around Discord and pounce on him. While he's temporarily overwhelmed, DFV lashes out and wraps a tail around his throat.

"COME HERE PEASANT!" she yells as she yanks Discord towards him before proclaiming,

"Psycho Break Crusher!"

"This again? Maybe third times the-*WHAM*"

The DFV leaps forward and spin-smashes into Discord's family jewels as the momentum of the attack carries both DFV and Discord out of the mist and through several buildings (also, you suddenly can't hear anything). Discord doubles over in pain on the ground as the mist dissipates he painfully says (his voice a few octaves too high),

"Why?!"

"You foolishly tried to hurt my friend and our daughter. So it's only fair if I, oh I don't know, ruin any chances of you having them "

Discord struggles to get back up as he says,

"Now I know you ain't H.O, you sound way too much like Lulu."

"I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT WEAK EXCUSES FOR A MOON EMBODIMENT, I AM A TRUE NIGHTMARE! A TRUE TERROR OF THE NIGHT, WHILE SHE WAS JUST A WEAK-HEARTED FOOL! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THE TITLE NIGHTM-"

The DFV suddenly stops talking as she realized she let something slip, but it's too late as Discord looks confused before he smiles and says,

"Ahhhh, I see. H.O why didn't you tell me you had such a nightmarish skullmate who is way too dark for my tastes."

He suddenly has some goth clothing on when he says this. DFV then charges at Discord proclaiming,

"SILENCE FOOL! I AM A TRUE GODDESS AND THOU ART BUT-"

When the DFV takes control, Discord's attitude changes from "trolling buddy" to "disappointed seriousness" and proceeds to nonchalantly smack away DFV's attacks (not even bothering with warping reality for DFV) while saying how much Nightmare Moon sucks as a villain,
"Boo hoo! Everypony likes my sister's gas more than my space pebble. I know, I'll go cover Equestria in eternal cold and darkness so everypony will starve and freeze to death. Sweet chaos, I was never that petty..."
Discord then boredly asks,
"You're boring. Can H.O. come out and play now?"
But the DFV responds,
"NEVER! I'M IN CONTROL NOW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR TOY AGAIN!"
This causes Discord to get angry and say.
"Give. Him. BACK!"
And proceeds to start devastating DFV.

*SMACK*

Discord nonchalantly slaps DFV away with the back of his hand, sending her into a billboard as he begins to taunt,

"Boo hoo! Everypony likes my sister's gas more than my pebble."

DFV gives an enraged scream and charges at Discord again, but once again Discord nonchalantly backhands her away with his other hand sending her crashing into a big slot machine that hits jackpot and starts to shower anvils onto her.

"I know, I'll go cover Equestria in eternal cold and darkness so everypony will starve and freeze to death."

DFV furiously screams, "SILENCE!" and launches herself at Discord's back with her tails, but he slaps her away with his tail sending her smashing through several buildings while continuing to taunt (not even breaking stride),

"Sweet chaos, I was never that petty..."

DFV prepares to charge Discord again, but she realizes she can't move and looks down to see her hooves stuck in quicksand. Discord then pops up in front of her, arms crossed, and says,

"You're boring. Can H.O. come out and play now?"

But the DFV responds in defiance,

"NEVER! I'M IN CONTROL NOW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR 'BUDDY' AGAIN! BESIDES, THE ONLY 'BUDDY' HE'LL EVER HAVE IS ME!"

DFV lashes out with her five tails and grabs a floating upside down house before smashing it onto Discord and saying,

"IF I CAN'T BREAK YOU. I'LL JUST BREAK YOUR TOYS!!!"

She then lashes out with 3 of her tails and grabs a terrified trio of Earth Pony mares with flower Cutie Marks and grabs a pair of giant boulders and prepares to smash the terrified mares with them.

NO! you mentally scream as the mares scream and DFV smashes the boulders together.

*CRACK*

Suddenly Discord appears in front of the mares with a seriously angry look on his face, having held both of his arms out and reduced both boulders to pebbles when they impacted with his claws. With a snap of his fingers, he teleports the mares safely onto a cotton candy cloud before proceeding to grab DFV tightly by the throat and say in a deadly serious tone,

"No one messes with my toys but ME!!!"

Discord then lifts DFV by the throat and violently chokeslams her into the ground before proceeding to wail on her face while screaming,

"GIVE! *PUNCH* ME! *PUNCH* MY! *PUNCH* BUDDY! *PUNCH* BACK! *PUNCH* YOU! *PUNCH*PATHETIC! *PUNCH* PSYCHO! *PUNCH*!"

You couldn't hear what Discord said because you still can't hear for some reason, but all you know now is that the DFV is getting dominated by Discord, so you decide to get some well deserved teasing in...

Having fun yet?
Shut up!
We're not supposed to win this! We're just buying time! For whatever reason, he likes me. I'm stepping in again.
No! You're weak! You're pathetic!
And you're insane!
I hate you so much!
Awww, I thought I was your friend?
Excuse me, do you two need a moment to kiss and make up?
What?
Who dares?!
Hm. Who do you know that can bend reality to his will? You zoned out on me again, and I just thought I would listen in. I do offer relationship counseling on Thursdays if you two are interested. Lover's quarrels are my specialty!
You cur! Your soul shall burn for that!
Wow. Is that how Rainbow Dash and Applejack feel when I talk about them? I'm a jerk, huh?

Having fun yet?

Not now!

We're not even supposed to win this genius! We're just buying time! Now, he likes me for some reason so I think it'd be best if I step in-

No! You're weak! You're pathetic!

And you're crazy!

I hate you so much!

Awww, I thought I was your friend?

Excuse me, do you two need a moment to kiss and make up? Discord's voice suddenly chimes in.

What?

Who dares?!

Who else do you know that can bend reality to his will? Discord's voice chimes in again. You zoned out on me again and I just thought I would listen in. I do offer relationship counseling on Thursdays if you two are interested. Lover's quarrels are my specialty!

You cur! Your soul shall burn for that!

Wow. Is that how Rainbow Dash and Applejack feel when I talk about them? I'm a jerk, huh?

"Eyup." Discord says as he picks up DFV by the throat and throws her into a wall, knocking it over. He then says,

"Alright. Now give my buddy his body back,"

Suddenly a pair of nasty-looking knives appears in his hands as he continues in a now deadly serious tone,

"Or I'm going to get upset..."

You heard him. Can I have my body back now?

You hear the DFV growl in anger before mentally saying,

Fine! But I'll always be with you, so don't even think you can stop me from having you as my eternal friend...

As you feel your body coming back to you, you roll your eyes and think,

Whatever you say fruitcake, now if you need me, I have another lunatic to-Urk!

You stop your comeback as you feel intense pain all over your body. You collapse onto the ground in pain as the Nightmare Cloak begins to evaporate. You can't help but say in a pained voice,

"What... the..."

You hear Discord laugh as he says,

"Looks like I've finally tired you out H.O."

He pops up in front of you and begins to reach out and say,

"Now it's about time I make you my apprentice in the ways of chaos..."

Too weak to even stand, you close your eyes and think in hopeful desperation,

Come on mares hurry up and get here! I'm sorry I said your plan could rot in Tartarus! And lady luck, if you can hear me. Please, please, PLEASE let Nightshade be free from my accursed bad luck if this is my last moment of sanity...

Before Discord could touch your head, you hear your saving grace...

Nightshade ran off when the three tails came out, right? She returns leading the Mane 6 with the Elements.

"DADDY!"

"HOODY!!"

Discord looks over and his eyes widen as you pop open your eyes and look over painfully to see Nightshade running towards you with the mares in tow behind her, both Nightshade and Fluttershy giving you worried looks and you can barley see the hint of worry in Twilight's eyes.

The mares stop a few yards in front of Discord and Twilight declares,

"All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!"

You smirk victoriously as you see the mares charging up a powerful attack, when...

When the Mane 6 Return with the Elements of Harmony, you and Discord have kind of been neck and neck the whole time, which means both of you are breathing heavily. The girls start to charge up
In a last ditch effort he teleports Night Shade Back into his arms before they fire.
Night Shade: DADDY!!!
You: NO!!!
Discord: Drop the Elements Girls. If I get stoned, so does the little brat!
Twilight: Put her down Discord!
Discord: I don't think so, you see I'd rather not be turned into a statue again, and your elements can't distinguish between different evils
YOU: SHE'S NOT EVIL!!!
Discord: Oh please, what could be more Evil than the unholy spawn of a Changeling and the Darker Half of Luna's soul?
DFV: KILL HIM!!!!
You: Please! Girls! Don't Fire!
The Mane 6 Power Down as they can't bring themselves to hurt a filly
Discord Begins to laugh in triumph, until Night Shade brings out your can of WD-40 and sprays it in Discord's eye
Discord: OW OW OW OW OW!!!!
He drops Night Shade and she runs to your arms.
You: That's my girl (you smile at her)
The girls recharge and shot their Friendship Rainbow death weapon at Discord
Discord: Oh you little...Uh-Oh! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Stoned)

You hear a snap of fingers and Nightshade screaming.

"DADDY!!!"

You look up in horror and see Nightshade struggling in Discord's arms.

"Drop the Elements Girls. If I get stoned, so does the ravenous brat!"

"Put her down Discord!" Twilight demands.

"I don't think so, you see I'd rather not be taking another millennium-long rock nap, and your elements can't distinguish between different evils-"

"SHE'S NOT EVIL!!!" you scream, still too weak to even get up.

"Oh please, what could be more evil than the unholy spawn of a Changeling and the Darker Half-?"

"LET ME GO!"

KILL HIM!!!

"Girls! Don't Fire! Please!" You scream.

The Mane 6 reluctantly power down as they can't bring themselves to hurt a filly.

Discord begins to laugh in triumph, but Nightshade suddenly whips out one of your cans of WD-40 and sprays it in Discord's eyes.

"MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!"

He grabs his eyes in pain which causes him to drop Nightshade and she runs to you before saying,

"If it doesn't move and it should: WD-40."

"That's my girl." You say with a smile.

Discord rubs his eyes in pain before he snaps a fire extinguisher into existence and sprays Earl Grey tea directly into his face. He then snaps the extinguisher and tea away before saying,

"Oh you little... Uh-Oh..."

While Discord was distracted, the girls recharged their Friendship Rainbow death thingy and fired it at Discord.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He screams, but just before the rainbow beam hits him, you hear his voice in your head say,

Fine! If can't be your friend then nopony will! Prepare to be the most hated pony in Equestria once again! Ooooohh trust me, when I come back you'll be begging to be my comrade-in-chaos for sure! Mwahahahaha!

You barely see him get off one last snap of his fingers before he gets turned to... stone! Ignoring what he said for now, you think in fear,

Yikes... Am I glad they never thought of using that on-wait... that could've been me back at the Gala!

Fluttershy and Nightshade help you to your hooves. You smile and begin to celebrate the victory with them over Discord when Twilight says,

"All right girls, one down. One to go."

She and the rest of the deadly five then turn towards you. You don't notice this as you victoriously declared,

"Yeah baby! We-wait-"

Suddenly realizing what they said you, Nightshade, and Fluttershy turn to the mares and yell,

"WHAT?!"

MEANWHILE IN A NEARBY BUSH

"Bon Bon, we gotta do something!" Lyra says as Bon Bon grabs Lyra's tail with her teeth before responding,

"No Lyra! It's too dangerous now more then ever!"

Lyra glares at Bon Bon and says,

"And let the Offender get turned to stone like that mixed up freak? No way! If you won't help me then fine, but I can't stand here and let a hero get turned into a lawn ornament!"

And with that Lyra breaks free of Bon Bon and runs off. Bon Bon looks around nervously before saying,

"Oooo, I know I'm gonna regret this..."

And with that she runs off as well.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR SCHEDULED CHAPTER

You stammer in fear as you say,

"C-Come on ladies! Don't you remember me saving you at the gala or helping you against Discord?"

Applejack gives you a hard glare as she says,

"That ain't how we remember it. Varmint."

The rest of the Deadly Five nod their heads in agreement. You remember what Discord said to you in your mind a few moments ago, and you can't help but scream out in anger the name a different entity for once...

"DISSSSSSCOOOOOOORRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!"

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGijsAfeik

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Things aren't looking good for Bugze!

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Yesterdays question answer is...

I'm gonna say Transformers, any of them, but especially the first since it hit all the right buttons of pissing me off
Oh you've got these sentient robots with genuine emotions and feelings? Well screw that, let's focus on our "Relatable" character Shia LeBoof and watch him, his annoying parents and other annoying humans run around being annoying!
Hell, the movie is 75 percent focused on him. It's Shia LeBeof the movie with guest stars the Transformers.
What makes it worse is that it could of been a decent movie if they just removed all those annoying characters and focused on the AutoBots and the Human Soldiers since they can understand what the friggen Autobots are going through and be more relatable.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is Screw Michael Bay!

Congrats to Browndog for suggesting it. I agree with ya here fellow Michael Bay hater, this movie sucked and it ruined Transformers!

Today's question is...

What is the most satisfying death of a hated TV character?

You know that one bad guy you just wish they would X off in your favorite show, and when they do the do it in a big way. Well, what do you think is satisfying death of a hated TV character? Until next time...BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 11: Save By The Hood.

You immediately start coughing blood from screaming, you think you might have broken....well, everything.
You stare in horror as the five mares slowly approach you. You attempt to stand up only to immediately collapse to the ground.

"-COOOOOR-*COUGH HACK COUGH*"

Your screaming ends when you start to cough up blood (green, slimy, changeling blood, but blood none the less) and collapse. Fluttershy puts her hooves on you supportably as Nightshade hugs you with worry ("Daddy..."). You finally stop coughing a few seconds later and you can't help but think painfully,

It feels like I broke every bone in my body... and all my muscles... and my splee- Owwwwwww.

You stop your pained thoughts as you notice the Deadly Five coming your way. You stare in horror as they start to get closer and closer with evil (well... evil to you at least) intents. You think in horror,

Oh no... Gotta run!

With that thought in mind you try to get up to make a run for it, but as soon as you try you scream out in pain and collapse again. You cough up some more blood as you see the Deadly Five getting even closer. All you can do is close your eyes and wait for the in-

"HOLD IT!"

Fluttershy and Nightshade try and fail to talk the other five down.
F: But girls, we just saw him help us defeat Discord!
T: It's just his changeling mind control magic Fluttershy, he was helping Discord, look at all the destruction they caused together!
N: My Daddy just helped you!
AJ: Get out of the way little filly, you're just confused
You: OH COME ON!
T: Fluttershy, the Elements won't work without you, so please...
F: NO! I WON'T HELP YOU HURT HOODY!
RD: She's under his spell, we gotta take him down fast (starts pounding her hooves together)

Well it seems we're back to square one with these crazy mares. Your first instinct would be to run like mad. But it seems as though all you legs are broken right now (did I mention ouch!?). At least Fluttershy seems to be on your side still. You try to snap them out of it, or at least stall for time.
"Wait please! I'm sorry! I did some nasty stuff to you in the past, but I made up for it, remember?" You yell out through bouts of coughing up blood "What about when I saved you all from the dragon? At the Gala! I nearly died holding off a god of chaos so you could deal the finishing blow! Don't you remember any of it? What did Discord do to you just now?!"

You open your eyes in surprise and look up painfully from your collapsed position to see both Fluttershy and Nightshade in front of you with their hooves spread apart, shielding you from the Deadly Five. You can't see that well from your collapsed position, but judging from the Deadly Five's faces, Fluttershy must be giving them "The Stare". Fluttershy says in a angry tone,

"Girls! What is the matter with you?! We just saw him help us defeat Discord!"

Twilight just gives Fluttershy a weird look before saying,

"It's just his changeling mind control magic Fluttershy, he was helping Discord! Look at all the destruction they caused together!"

You somehow managed to snort in disbelief before coughing up more blood. Fluttershy notices this and says,

"Can't you see the poor things hurt and needs help?!"

"That's his own fault for deciding to turn on Discord."

Turning on Discord? What does she mean by- *COUGH*

Nightshade looks at you worriedly as you cough up more blood before looking back at the mares and saying,

"My Daddy just helped you! He was like Darth Invader at the end of Star Wars!"

Your vision started to go fuzzy after your last coughing fit, but you hear a loud groan after Nightshade made that reference. You give a pained smirk as you think,

That's my girl...

You then hear Applejack say,

"Get out of the way little critter, you're just confused. That ain't yo daddy, that's a no good varmint!"

You would have growled in anger or gave a snarky remark if it weren't for the fact that you couldn't feel your jaw. You hear Twilight say,

"Fluttershy, the Elements won't work without you, so please-"

"NO! I WON'T HELP YOU HURT HOODY!"

You can barely hear what Rainbow said next, but you have a pretty good idea considering she just pounded her hooves together. You're pretty sure that your hearing is going and that you're about to lose consciousness when...

The DFV tries to give as much magical power as possible to get your body to move, but it BURNED!

DFV offers to take over, but you firmly reject her offer after her behavior in the battle with Discord.

You hear the one voice you really don't want to hear right now,

Let me take over. You're hurt and weak. All it would take is a quick whip of my tails and-

No! You're not taking over again! You almost killed innocent ponies several times now. You're staying in my head and you're never coming out! I've rather be turned to stone then let you take over.

There's a moment of silence before the DFV says,

Fine... but since your gonna be my eternal friend, I'm healing you whether you desire it or not! And you're about to see why "not"...

What do you-"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly a burning pain shoots through your body as if your body is being melted in lave after being set on fire. After a few moments of Tartarus you begin to notice your sight, hearing, and touch returning. Apparently you were screaming bloody murder the whole time as you see Fluttershy and Nightshade holding you in worry and shouting words of concern ("DADDY!", "Hang on Hoody! I'm right here!") while the Deadly Five are just giving disturbed looks. After what seems like ages, the burning pain finally subsides. You breath heavily from the pain as you slowly start to get up with Nightshade and Fluttershy's help. When you finally get up, you lean on Fluttershy for support as you think,

Okay... Can see and hear again. Can feel my jaw so that's good. Can barely stand... I can work with that.

After your done thinking that you say,

"First of all, I would like to say I have a new found respect for anyling who has melted or been killed by fire or lava in movies, especially the T1000 from Termarenator. Secondly.."

You give a cold glare to the Deadly Five before saying,

"You mares just got on my traitor list, and that is a list you don't want to be on. Cause trust me... there's nothing I hate more than ungrateful, backstabbing, traitors."

It's true, ever since the whole Trixie incident, you've had a HUGE loathing for traitors ever since.

The Deadly Five seem taken back from your statement, before Twilight says,

"How did we betray you? You've never done anything to gain our trust, much less make us team up with you."

Your eye twitches in annoyance as you say,

"Didn't do anything to gain our trust you say? What about when I saved you all from the dragon? Or when I pulled a Golem at the Grand Galloping Gala! Or how about when I nearly died holding off a god of chaos so you could deal the finishing blow. What about when you'd given up on everyone, Twilight?! Despite everything you ever did to me, I helped you recover! I helped you save your friends from Discord's magic! Don't you remember any of it?"

The Deadly Five all give you strange looks before Twilight says,

"None of that ever happened."

You feel your jaw hit the ground as you stare at her in shock before you yell,

"WHAT!"

Twilight nods her head angry before she says...

They proceed to dismiss everything you tell them about you helping them, their minds firmly locked on taking you out.

The mares say what the new memory is in a series of accusations which include:
-Restructured memories of the Grand Galloping Gala rampage which include:
---Emasculating Prince Blueblood
---Only 1 tail coming out
---Being driven off by Celestia and the Mares
---Twilight saving everyone from the collapsing Gala
-Stealing 40 more cakes
-Releasing Discord and teaming up with him
-Attacking the mares at the library in an attempt to keep them from the elements
-Almost crushing Daisy, Rose, and Lily (the trio of Earth Ponies with the flower Cutie Marks)

"Yes, none of what you said ever happened. All you did at the Gala was destroy it and ruin any chances of Blueblood walking or having foals (you see Rarity mouth "Thank Celestia" when Twilight said that)."

Rainbow nods her head at what Twilight said as she adds,

"Yeah, you ran away like a little filly after Celestia and the rest of us fought your one-tailed flank off and Twilight had to teleport everypony out before the Gala roof collapsed from when you mind-controlled Trixie into doing more damage and it was your mind-control that tore us apart in the first place! You blinded us and made us only see the worst aspects of each other!"!"

Applejack adds,

"Then y'all released Discord, teamed up with him, attacked us so that we couldn't get the elements, and almost crushed Daisy, Rose, and Lily when you turned on him!"

She points over to three knocked out mares that the DFV almost crushed with those boulders. Pinkie then suddenly starts jumping up and down with smoke coming out of her ears as she screams,

"AND YOU STOLE 40 MORE CAKES, AND THAT'S JUST SUPER DUPER TERRIBLE!"

The mares then nod their head at the same time at Pinkie's statement and you can't help but think in anger,

If Discord ever gets released again... *snap* then he'd better watch his back...

After that angry thought you all here a distant voice call out,

"HALT!"

Then you all notice a green figure running towards you. When that figure gets close you realize that's it's...

Just then Lyra and Bon Bon show up, the latter being dragged by the former's tail. "Neither will we!" Lyra puts on a black hoodie and pulls the hood up over her face "The hood always got our back, and now we got the hood's!"

Lyra! And she's dragging Bon Bon with her! When she gets in front of you she pulls out a cloak, puts it on (so does Bon Bon), throws the hood up, and declares,

"The hood always got our back, and now we got the hood's!"

And with that she sucks up a huge amount of air and screams...

"HORDE ASSEMBLE!"

The next thing you know...

With that you hear a war cry.
FOR THE HORDE!!!!
A group of more than fifty ponies rush in front of you and Night Shade, all of them dressed as the Hooded Offender. One of them begins to speak.
Horde Member: You dare threaten the Hooded Offender? He who helped you win and save our lives this day? The greatest hero Equestria has ever known?
Twilight: You remember it wrong, he helped Discord!
A thin little cloaked figure, slightly hovering off the ground pulls out a camera and says
"I actually have evidence to the contrary!"
Horde Member: Correct! The wool has been pulled over your eyes, blinding you from the truth Element Bearers
Horde Member: Leave him be you misguided fools
You: OK, i appreciate you all helping me and everything, but can we stop the Holier than Though way of speaking?
Horde Member (Lyra) we thought it would sound cool and professional
You: It just sounds pompous to me
Horde Member (Lyra): Alright fine, leave the Hooded Offender alone you jerks, or we'll make you sorry
The HORDE: YEAH!!!
The Deadly five are all very unnerved by this

You hear a war cry,

"FOR THE HORDE!"

Suddenly, a group of at least twenty ponies (you can't really tell exactly) rush in front of you and Nightshade. All of them are wearing replica Hooded Offender cloaks, ranging from small to large ponies. One of them hooves a cloak to Fluttershy, who nods her head in thanks before she puts the cloak on (somehow doing so while still supporting your wobbly form). As she pulls up her hood, you hear one of the Horde (who sounds a awful lot like Berry) say

"You dare threaten the Hooded Offender? *hic* He who helped you win and save our lives this day? *hic* The greatest hero Equestria has ever known?"

Twilight (and the rest of the mares) are taken aback from the sudden appearance of the Horde, but she snaps out of it and says,

"You remember it wrong, he helped Discord!"

One of the horde members says,

"The wool has been pulled over your eyes, blinding you from the truth, Elements!"

"Can't you ponies see that this ruffian is using his mind control abilities on you?!" Rarity says.

Another Horde member speaks up,

"Cease your unjust harassment of him you misguided fools!"

Deciding that you've had enough of this fancy talk, you say.

"OK, I appreciate you all helping me and everything, but can we stop with the "Holier than Thou" way of speaking?"

One of the Horde members (who you think is Lyra since she's standing where you last saw her) says,

"But we thought it would sound all cool and professional."

You shake your head and say,

"Nah it just sounds as pompous as Tacky McStabby Flank over there."

"Why I never..." Rarity protests as some of the Horde chuckle at the nickname you gave her.

The Horde member who you think is Lyra sighs before she turns back towards the mares and says,

"Alright fine... Leave the Hooded Offender alone you jerks, or we'll make you sorry. Horde! What is our vow?!"

All the Horde suddenly chant,

"The blackest night falls from the skies,
The darkness grows, as all light dies,
And heal the deepest wounds of hate,
Let no one else decide your fate,
Let those who fear where we once stood,
Beware the power... of our hood!"

The Deadly Five all look unnerved by this (besides Pinkie who you swear is whispering "Hooded party" over and over again) s you think,

They even have a kickflank creed?! So... Awesome... (Rainbow Dash sneezes and mutters, "Somepony's stealing one of my lines!")

When it looks like the situation is going to escalate into a full-on melee, you hear...

"Run for it hero. We got this!" one of your fans yells as Twilight and her friends start trying to shave their way through the crowd to get to you.
You feel Nightshade dragging your battered form to safety as your mob of fans yell out in your honor "WE ARE THE DISTRACTION! WE ARE HIS MEAT-SHIELD! THERE ARE MANY OF US AND WE ARE HIS! YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!

Escape to the TARDIS with the help of the Horde (who Twilight assumes are all under mind control)

Fluttershy whispers to you: Hoody, when the distraction happens, hold onto my hoof and don't let go.
You nod as your cloak returns and you put Night Shade in the Satchel.
Fluttershy then shouts: NOW!!!

As you are thinking if they could get pity of you, you listen a strange sound and watch a strange blue box that appear from nowhere and The Doctor exit from here and offer you a hoof
"Take my hoof if you want to survive!"

The most beautiful sound in Equestria. You (and everyling else in the area) look over to see the TARDIS phasing into existence. When it finally lands, the door opens and you see the Doctor who waves his hoof at you and says,

"Come with me if you want to live! *chuckles* I've always wanted to say that..."

One of the Horde, (you think it's Fluttershy) whispers to you,

"Hoody, when the distraction happens, hold onto my hoof and don't let go."

You nod your head as you guide Nightshade into The Inventory. Then Fluttershy gives a high pitched series of whistles. Suddenly you feel her start to drag you towards the TARDIS as the Horde charges the Deadly Five while shouting,

"WE ARE THE DISTRACTION! WE ARE HIS MEAT-SHIELD! THERE ARE MANY OF US AND WE ARE HIS! YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!"

You feel tears of stallion pride fall down your face as you think,

Oh... so much pride. I really hope none of them get sent to the dungeon after this... also I hope none of them start a wa-I should probably start running now.

When you and Fluttershy reach the TARDIS doors, you look back and see the melee of the Deadly Five trying to get past the small crowd Horde members. Most notable is seeing two fillies in a small black hoods (who you assume to be Berry Punch's daughter she mentioned and introduced you to and Sweetie Belle) grabbing onto Pinkie's head and you also hear Twilight call out,

"Don't hurt them girls! They're innocent ponies caught in the Offender's mind control!"

"Again with that mind control nonsense..." you mutter in annoyance before you notice Derpy (also wearing a hooded coat) and Fluttershy trying to get your attention. As Derpy pulls you into the TARDIS, Fluttershy whispers to you,

"Good luck Hoody."

And with that the TARDIS doors close and the TARDIS disappears...

ON THE TARDIS FIVE MINUTES (OR POSSIBLY CENTURIES (IT IS A TIME MACHINE AFTER ALL)) LATER

You escape the bedlam of Ponyville into the (hopeful) safety of the TARDIS. Derpy and The Doctor are glad to see you safe, but you just collapse on the spot, panting for breath. You take off your cloak and send Nightshade to her room to rest before you talk with the other two.
"Doc... we... are... so... done! I think you owe me for all that."
"What?" He looks genuinely confused. "What are you talking about? My boy, you missed our meeting."
"You told me to go to that hallway! With the glass! Then Discord showed up, did... uh, he did Discord stuff, and I helped stop him for you. Debt paid."
Derpy blinks. "Bugze, Discord wasn't the threat."
"...Pardon?"
The Doctor chuckles. "Rest assured, the universe is in great peril and we certainly intend on using you to save it--"
"USING me?!"
"--but that Dicord chap threw off the flow of time with all his shenanigans. The terrible, horrible, disaster has only been postponed."
You hold your head and cry. "I just stood toe-to-toe with a god of chaos! What else do I have to do?"
Derpy glares at you. "You still have your time-out mister!"
"That's not what I meant! How am I supposed to stop a disaster that threatens the entire universe?"
The Doctor hands you a banana. "You'll need this."
You slowly reach out and take it. "Brilliant, Doc. When the disaster comes, I'll just throw a banana at it."
"What? No! How in the name of the space-time continuum are you going to stop a disaster with a banana? That's for the little one. We saw how she eats when she was here. When was the last time she had any potassium?"
You stick the banana into the inventory. "Okay, I'm sure she'll like it. But you still haven't answered my question. How am I supposed to stop this disaster?"
The Doctor hands you a boomerang. "With this."
As soon as you touch it, You hold it over your head, and it somehow floats on its own.
When the inexplicable anti-gravitational anamoly ends, you are left with a familiar question. "What do I do? How do I even use this thing?"
Derpy laughs. "Does anypony know how to use them? Just practice really hard."
"Quite right," The Doctor says. "And I'm afraid this is your stop. We'll be in touch." The door opens, and The Doctor shoves you out to encounter the next worst moment of your life.

You have finally regained your full strength after being in the TARDIS for a few minutes (or years... or centuries... it's the TARDIS, give it a break). So, you decide to confront the Doctor on your debt to him.

"Doc... we are so done! I think you owe me for all that!"

"What?"

He looks genuinely confused.

"What are you talking about? My boy, you missed our meeting."

"You told me to go to that hallway! With the glass! Then Discord showed up, did... uh, he did Discord stuff, and I helped stop him for you. Debt paid."

Derpy (who has already put away her hooded coat) blinks before saying, "Bugze, Discord wasn't the threat."

You look at her blankly and when your mind finishes rebooting you say,

"...Pardon?"

The Doctor chuckles.

"Rest assured, the universe is in great peril and we certainly intend on using you to save it-"

"USING me?!"

"--but that Dicord chap threw off the flow of time with all his shenanigans. The terrible, horrible, disaster has only been postponed."

You hold your head in frustration and cry.

"I just stood toe-to-toe with a god of motherbucking chaos! What else do I have to bucking do?!"

Derpy glares at you.

"Watch your language! You still have your time-out mister!"

"That's not what I meant! How am I supposed to stop a disaster that threatens the entire universe?"

The Doctor hands you a banana.

"You'll need this."

You slowly reach out and take it before snarking,

"Brilliant, Doc! When the disaster comes, I'll just throw the banana and hope he slips on it!"

"What? No! How in the name of the space-time continuum are you going to stop a disaster with a banana? That's for the little one. We saw how she eats when she was last here (took me 4 centuries to replenish my Jelly Baby supply). When was the last time she had any potassium?"

You stick the banana into the inventory and say,

"Okay, I'm sure she'll like it. But you still haven't answered my question. How am I supposed to stop this disaster?"

The Doctor hands you a... Luna Plushie?

"With this."

As soon as you touch it, You hold it over your head, and it somehow floats on its own.

When the inexplicable anti-gravitational anomaly ends, you are left with a familiar question.

"What do I do? Why do I even need this? Why do you even have this?"

Derpy laughs,

"It's a plushie to cuddle with silly"

The Doctor nods his head and says,

"Oh and Bugze, to pay off your debt to me, it's quite simple really. You are to stay in Ponyville for the next year and are to report to me any unusual things or events with this."

He hooves you a TARDIS blue notebook and pen.

"Now before you ask, this is an inter-dimensional notebook and pen, it will allow you to send me a message onto my psychic paper."

You nod your head dumbly as you put the items into The Inventory.

Acquired "Banana", "Luna Plushie", "TARDIS-blue Pen", and "Inter-Dimensional Notebook"

The Doctor then hoofs you a white panama hat with a paisley hat band, a face mask, a billowing tan overcoat, and a pair of yellow-and-black striped pants. You look at them confused as the Doctor says,

"Here, since I know your disguise spell is terrible, this will help you hide out in Ponyville. Now put them on lad!"

You nod your head as you change out of you awesome black hooded coat and into the clothes. The Doctor looks you up and down and says,

"Dashing Bugze, you look swell now. Oh, and you'll also need this,"

He then hands you a Doctor's Note (which says that you have a "condition" that requires your hooves and lower face to be covered) before he pushes you in front of the TARDIS doors as he says,

"And I'm afraid this is your stop. We'll be in touch."

The door opens, and The Doctor shoves you out of the TARDIS and into...

A purple earth pony, with green eyes and light pink and dark pink striped mane. You stare awkwardly at each other for a few moments before saying...

"Um... hi?"

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

Yesterday's question answer is...

One villain that was defeated... There are soo much, maybe the Emperor Dalek from Doctor Who

Congrats to Kichi for giving this suggestion. I agree cause when I saw the Emperor Dalek go out, my jaw hit the floor and it stayed there the whole time.

Today's question is...

What is the saddest death of a beloved TV character?

From most hated to the most loved, what was the saddest death you ever saw...BYE!

Episode 12: Time To Talk And Think!

Cheerlilee is a bit confused by your get up, but she is not rude she says hi back and even apologizes even though you were the one who bumped into her.
You have a new get up, so you need a new identity to go along with it, you think El Hunko has been compromised.
You're dressed in a bunch of the Doctor's old clothes so use your knowledge of the TV show to make a composite name.
Something like: Tennant Baker Smith.

The two of you stared at each other blankly as the sound of the Tardis blinking out of view occupied the awkward silence, with her eyes seemingly questioning the odd pupils of yours. You really don't want to blow your cover already. Quick! Speak about something!
"so, I, Uhm," you cleared your throat. "Did you happen to see a blue box appear and disappear?"
She nodded.
"Okay. I would really appreciate it if you just pretend you didn't."
"Alright?"

The two of you stare at each other awkwardly as you hear the TARDIS blink out of time. As you continue to stare at each other you can't help but think

What is with me and long awkward stares with random ponies? I swear this is like the three-hundreth time this has happen to me. That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it. Speaking of which...

Taking your plan to heart, you hold up your hoof and...

*SLAP*

Slap yourself across the face causing the mare in front of you to jumps back in shock. You laugh nervously before you say,

"Heheheh sorry about that, there was just a... bug on my face! Yeah... just a bug!"

The irony of this does not escape me... You think to yourself in a deadpan tone.

The mare continues to stare at you weirdly so you decide to continue to speak,

"So... um... did you happen to see a blue box appear and disappear?"

The mare nods her head slowly at your question. You begin to panic at the thought of her telling ponies that you came out of the same box that the Hooded Offender escaped in. So, you decide to make her not tell anyling,

"Okay. I would really appreciate it if you just pretend you didn't. Because let's just say that you'll make alot of ponies very happy with murderous intent, and you'll make me a very sad pony. So I'm begging you... Don't. Tell. Anypony!"

The mare looks at you questionably, but she thankfully just nods her head and says,

"All... right?"

It sounded more like a question to you, but you'll take it. You nod you head thankfully and say,

"Thanks! That means alot... um... did I ever catch your name?"

The mare shakes her head and blushes in embarrassment before saying,

"Oh, where are my manners, even if what you just asked me to do is very... weird. That's no excuse to be rude. My name is Cherilee, and you are..."

You're about to tell her your name, when you remember that you're wearing a new outfit. You also remember/realize that the "El Hunko" name and suit are for fancy high-class events and Bugze would just be a dead giveaway, you decide to go with the first thing that pops in your head...

Good name idea, but since Bugze is wearing the pants of the sixth (Colin Baker), the hat of the seventh (Sylvester McCoy) and the coat of the 10th (David Tennant) then his name should be something like Baker Sylvester Tennant.
Que Cheerliee pointing out his name is B.S. Tennant (BullSPIT hive minders, gotta keep it PG after all)

"My name is Baker... Sylvester... Tennant. Yeah! The name's Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T." you say with a nervous smile.

Cherilee gives you an awkwardly nervous look as she asks

"You... do know your initials are B.S. Tennant right?"

Your smile falters slightly at what she's implying but you quickly recover and say,

"Yes yes and it's haunted me my entire life, so um...."

You realize that you have no idea as to what to say next, so you use one of the oldest questions in the universe...

"Um, nice weather today, eh?" Honestly, your afraid the response, because such a topic would be taboo back in the hive where the only weather is the buzzing busyness of the work drones.
"Why, yes! It's the perfect weather to spend a good Saturday in. The pegasi had done a good job." And apparently it's different for a society that uses weather as an industry.

"Um, nice weather today, eh? Hehehe..."

You're honestly afraid the response because since the only weather back at the Hive is the buzzing busyness of the work drones, asking that question usually got you a sarcastic laugh followed by a slap to the head. Fortunately, Cherilee gives you a kind smile before saying,

"Why, yes! It's the perfect weather to spend a good Saturday in. Rainbow Dash has done a particularly lovely job today."

You nod your head in agreement,

"Ah yes, the fillyfo-I mean sweet mare who's totally not a demon with severe anger issues has done a great jo-"

You interrupt yourself when you realize something about what she said.

Wait... Saturday? Didn't I fight Discord on a Thursday? Where-When did the Doctor drop me off?

With that thought in mind you ask Cherilee...

Since you were just in the TARDIS and there doesn't appear to be any residual destruction around you ask her what day it is, or how long it's been since Discord's imprisonment.

"So, you know when the whole world turned upside down...? Uh... when did that happen?"

Cherilee gives you a strange look before asking,

"Where have you been the last few days? Discord was defeated two days ago."

You laugh nervously and say,

"You could say I was in a blue box for a couple of day-"

You clamp your hooves over your mouth when you realize you accidentally reminded her about the TARDIS. You then think,

What I wouldn't give for a distraction right now...

Just then, Nightshade appear from your inventory
"Daddy, are you okay?" Asked Nightshade
"Daddy? So you are a dad and she is your fully?" Asked Cherilee
"More or less" Say Bugzee
"You make house-schooling? because that can't be... She need to stay with other fillies, not inside of from somewhere she got out... Don't want to offend you little one" Say Cherilee
"No offense taken... But that is my house" Say Nightshade
"Like I said... Maybe could be good if she meet other fillies and colts"

Just then, Nightshade appeared from your inventory.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Asked Nightshade

After getting over the initial shock of seeing a filly pop out of a saddlebag, Cherilee asks,

"Daddy? So you're a father and she's your daughter?"

"More or less" You respond.

"How is she 'more or less' your daughter?"

"It's... complicated."

"Hmmmm... does she go to school?"

"Ah, no. I home-school her."

"Home-school? Oh dear... Well, since you're both new in town you really should sign her up for the Ponyville Schoolhouse. I'm the teacher there and your daughter really needs to play outside with other fillies, not inside of a bag... No offense dear."

"No offense taken... But that's my room." Nightshade replies.

"Like I said... It would be good for her to socialize with more fillies and colts her own age."

Deciding that you need to end this discussion before you can think about Nightshade interacting with... colts (*growl*) you tell Nightshade,

"Sweetie why don't you go back to your room and study for that animal quiz?"

"But Daddy... you said we would watch Neighpon Gore Police when you were done talking with the Doctor."

"You let your daughter watch those kind of movies!" Cherilee asks in horror before you chuckle nervously and respond,

"Eheheheheh...What she meant to say was that she was gonna watch an... educational film when we got back... right."

Nightshade either misses or ignores the stern emphasis on the last word as she says,

"No, I said we were gonna watch Neigh-"

"Nightshade, honey, I'll give ya three chimichanga's if you just go back into your room okay."

Nightshade says in Neighponeses with (literal) stars in her eyes,

"Chimichanga! Anata no saikō no papa! Watashi wa jibun no heya ni modotte ikimasu." (translation: Chimichanga! Your the best Daddy! I'll go back to my room.)

With that, she hops back into the Inventory.

"My, she speaks such fluent Neighponese! And at such a young age!"

"Heh yeah, we watch alot of anime." You say with some fatherly pride.

After discussing for a few more minutes, you bid Cheerilee good-bye and you part ways. You decided that since you're gonna be stuck in Ponyville for a year, you should stock up on some supplies. As you're walking towards where you think the market is, you start to think...

After your meeting with Cheerlie, figure out what you're going to do regarding food, income,

So, I'm gonna be living in Ponyville for awhile... joy. This is gonna be about as fun as having to pry Grandbuggy off that giant chocolate cookie back at zebra country.

That was defiantly a weird day... well weird day back then at least. You and Grandbuggy (in case you were wondering, his rank prior to being exiled was "Specialist") were assigned a mission to steal some love from a out of town zebra tribe called the Pelegostos Tribe. When you and Grandbuggy got there, you found out that the zebras were worshiping a cookie as their all divine god. Sadly for them, your Grandbuggy has a huge sweet tooth (where do you think you got it from?). Before you could blink, your Grandbuggy had eaten half the stinking thing. It took a pair of pliers, WD-40, butter, and some liberal application of fire to finally get him to stop eating the thing... right when the zebras came back from their group potion-making. They then thought your Grandbuggy was their god in pony form and tried to eat him! Long story short (and alot of explosions later), you and Grandbuggy are forbidden from ever going back to the Isla de Pelegostos.

Ahhh good times... At least back when the only ones trying to kill me were strangers I'd never have to see again-*bump*

Your snapped out of memory lane when you realize that you've bumped into a fruit vendor at the market. You then begin to buy emergency foods you learned about from the Buffalo Tribe. After you finish stuffing all the food away into The Inventory,

"10 Packages of Whole-Wheat Crackers"
"5 Jars of Peanut Butter"
"5 Boxes of Multigrain Cereal"
"20 Granola Bars"
"2 Cans of Powdered Milk"
"16 Small Bags of Dried Fruit" added to The Inventory."

45 Bits Left

You sat down and began to read today's paper that you also bought, unsurprisingly it's about the "Elements of Harmony" being honored by Solar-flank for defeating Discord, but what you find is surprising...

You also see a news headline in the paper about The Horde and the mysterious growth of it in several cities across Equestria. You smile at that.

Next, look for a newspaper to find out what happened to your fanclub. Fortunately it said that most of the Horde scattered and escaped after your getaway and the few Horde members caught were pardoned as "being under mind control and not of their free will". You also find out that due to Discord's new memories, the Horde is alot smaller, but it's growing due to the fact that somepony manage to take pictures of your fight with Discord and fortunately all those pictures are of you landing hits on Discord thus starting the rumor that the Hooded Offender fought the God of Chaos to a draw.

You sigh in relief when you read that the Horde members that helped you escape two days ago escaped as well from the Deadly 5. Even the ones who were captured were pardoned as "being under mind control and not of their free will." But what's really surprising is that even though your overall fan club is smaller, it has been gaining in numbers lately. According to the newspaper, photos were leaked showing you fighting Discord (the picture in the paper was you tackling Discord through a house while in the Nightmare Cloak). Apparently ponies either say that the photos were fabricated or that it's evidence that you fought Discord to a draw. But, what's really surprising is that alot of mares have joined the Horde. They claimed that they're your "waifus" and that they want to... um let's just say some of what they said shouldn't be read by foals... You blush a very deep red as you think,

While it may seem awesome that I have fanfillies... I also have to deal with the fact that I have fanfillies... Dear Luna, I swear half of what they said shouldn't be possible...

You quickly stuff the newspaper away into The Inventory (you don't want to litter after all) before taking out a granola bar ("19 Granola Bars" left). As you munch on the bar you sadly think...

You are stuck in Ponyville for a year now, with 5 crazy mares who want to kill you all over again and equally crazy fangirls who want to... let's not get into that.
You miss Appleloosa already. You do have the plushie, and now would be a good time to just hold it close and cry for awhile. But you're in public, and that raises a very good question.
Where the buck are you going to stay for a whole year?
Would the fangirls help you without knowing you're the Offender? Probably not. You did stay at the apple orchard that one night... Apple Bloom could cover for you... but you can't stay outside for a whole-
DING!

Let's see... I'm HUGELY in debt with a Time Lord, I'm stuck in Ponyville for a year, I have 5 crazy mares who want to kill me all over again thanks to Discord's stupid mind bending trick, and now I have equally crazy fanmares who want to *gulp*... let's not get into that. (You shudder as you remember the Justin Beatbox incident) I miss Appleloosa already... I do have that plushie though, and now would probably be a good time to just hold it close and cry for awhile...

You're about to take out your plushie to do just that when you remember that you're in public, so you quickly snap out of it, but now all you have is one question on your mind:

Where the buck am I going to stay for a whole year? Would the fanmares help me without knowing I'm the Offender? Probably not and asking them as the Hooded Offender would probably be a death wish. I did stay at the apple orchard that one night... Apple Bloom (you cringe guiltily at her name) could cover for me... but she hates me. Maybe I could just sneak into the fields, but I NEED shelter as I can't just stay outside for a whole-*ding*!

Isn't Apple Bloom friends with Sweetie Belle? And the third one in the forest... Scootaloo? Don't they have a clubhouse? Maybe you could borrow that until you find a more permanent solution.

"I got it!" You say to yourself in a excited tone. "Applebloom is friends with Sweetie Belle right? And the third one in the forest... Scootaloo if I remember correctly? Didn't Applebloom mention that they have a clubhouse? Maybe I could borrow that until I find a more permanent solution. Yeah that'll work!"

You throw your hoof into the air in excitement as you run off into a random direction as several ponies (who saw you talking to yourself) mutter "Weirdo...".

20 MINUTES LATER

Twenty minutes later finds yourself lost in Ponyville. You have no idea where to find Applebloom (*cringe*), Sweetie, or Scootaloo. As you look around desperately, all you can think is...

Curse my lack of direction!

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Yesterdays question answer is...

Saddest death: David Tennant as the Doctor. "I don't want to go." Fun fact: that line was actually improvised, not on script. David said that as he was being recorded and they decided to keep it.

Congrats to The Batmane of equestria for being the first person to suggests this. The other person is TheNomad360. Now even thought the Doctor didn't technically die, his 10th personality did. So I"ll count that, and the fact that I cried tears when he said "I don't wan to go." Thanks for the fun fact by the way, I didn't know that was a improvised line.

Today's question is...

What is the scariest Doctor Who monster/Alien?

I don't know if I asked this already, but I'm too lazy to go though 69 episodes to check. So if I did ask this already, then consider this a chance to better explain your answer. BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 13: Living In A High Place.

Well it is a Saturday, so what would any normal kid do on a Saturday? You have no clue, all you ever did on Saturdays as a hatchling was secretly play a smuggled in NES that your Grandbuggery gave you.
You doubt that Applebloom and the girls are the gamer type.
You know for a fact that you can't go around asking for the girls by name since you are supposed to be new in town, and looking the way you do with the mask and asking for little fillies would send the wrong message.

As you walk though town looking for the CMC, you start to pace back and forth while talking to yourself and making hoof gestures,

"Let's see, it's a Saturday, so that rules out the school. But that leaves me wondering where they could be. And I have no clue as to where a normal foal would be on a Saturday. The only thing I ever did I did as a hatchling on a Saturday was secretly play a smuggled NES that my Grandbuggy gave me... stupid Duck Hunter game. I swear if I could I would get that laughing mutt-"

You stop pacing as you put your hoof to your chin and ask,

"Wait, where was I... oh yeah!"

You begin to pace again, this time drawing attention of nearby ponies as they look at you strangely,

"Besides, I doubt the CMC are gamers, Applebloom *cringe* probably works on her species-ist hick of a sister's farm, Sweetie probably helps Tacky McStabby Flank with her 'fashion', and Scootaloo... ah she's probably more into sports or something like that."

Ponies start to look at you really strangely, as you walk up to a random mare and begin to 'talk' to her.

"Of course I can't just go around and ask you townsfolk whre they are. I mean look at me! With the way I'm dressed and with my mask, if I ask where they are it'll send the wrong message and I'll get sent to the dungeon for sure... well at least for a different reason this time... If I'm not lynched by a mob of concerned parents first..."

The mare in front of you gives you a creeped-out look before you speak directly to her,

"Hey, if you were three fillies, where would you go on a Saturday?"

The mare looks like shes about to answer you, when you hear...

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Demolition Experts YAY!"
After you hear that, the sound of alarms begin to ring in your head as the image of a big explosion and three fillies in the middle with a detonator connected to some T.N.T come to your head and you run and run, hoping is not too late as you search for them.

The most terrifying sentence in the history of terrifying sentences next to "We're out of cake."

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DEMOLITION EXPERTS YAY!"

Your eyes widen in horror as your overactive imaginations kicks in as you see a image of a big explosion and three fillies in the middle with a detonator connected to some T.N.T come to your head. You tell the mare in front of you in horror,

"On second thought, I think I know where they are. Thank you for your time ma'am, here have a Granola Bar."

With that you throw her a Granola Bar (18 left) and tun towards the direction of the shouting, hoping to Luna that they're alright. The mare you hand the bar to says,

"This is going to take forever to floss out, but I'm hungry..."

And starts munching on the granola bar.

10 MINUTES LATER

Once you find the CMC, you explain your situation to them. And remember, the best lies are partial truths.
"Hey there you three!" you greet them cheerfully "I'm new in town, I have a medical condition, and I'm forced to live here for the next year by a cosmically powerful being. But I have no place to live. I heard you had a clubhouse and was wondering if you could help me out." you quickly add "And don't tell your sisters or parents!"
Then Nightshade pops out of the Inventory. "Daddy I'm hungry! Can I have those chimichangas now?"
"I'll feed you later sweetie." you tell her before introducing her to the crusaders "Oh yeah, and this is my daughter Nightshade. She lives in my saddlebags. Can you help us?" You both give your best smiles and try not to come off as awkward or creepy.
Despite all the accidental evidence suggesting that you're some kind of deranged psychopath that steals small foals, and that letting you live in their clubhouse would be a terrible idea, the CMC remain oblivious to it all and simply look to each other before shouting "CUTIE-MARK CRUSADERS, VAGRANT SHELTERERS! YAY!"

Thankfully you found the fillies in a field before they can do anything too dangerous, but just barely as you had to tackle Applebloom off a crate of explosives which went off just after you tackled the filly. You and the CMC look at the now blazing crate as Applebloom says,

"Gee, if I had been on that crate any longer... *gulp*"

Your fatherly instincts take over as you assure her,

"Hey there, it's all right. You're okay, nothing bad is gonna happen."

Since you can't hug her, cause you know... she's not your daughter, you go with a pat to the head instead. Applebloom smiles and says,

"Thank ya kindly mister for saving me! I just have to tell ma older sis-"

"NO!"

You interrupt her causing her to look at you stare at you strangely. You rub your hoof behind your head nervously as you say,

"What I mean is... I... that you don't need to tell anypony about what just happened... okay?"

The CMC look at you strangely before slowly nodding their heads. Since you can't help but make sure they don't talk you say,

"You promise?"

They nod their heads and say at the same time,

"We Pinkie promise."

You look at them strangely and ask,

"What's a Pinkie promise?"

They then smile brightly and say at the same time while doing hoof motions,

"Cross our hearts and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eye."

You look at them strangely before saying,

"Okay... Now anyway, first of all my name is Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T."

"I'm Applebloom."

"I'm Sweetie Belle."

"and I'm Scootaloo."

"And we're THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!"

After making sure that your ears still work (Luna, those fillies could give the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money), you begin to talk in half-truths as you say in an excited tone,

"So some quick details: I'm new in town, I have a medical condition, and I'm forced to live here for the next year by a cosmically powerful being... don't ask."

You say quickly as you hold up a hoof as it looks like Scootaloo was going to ask a question. You then continue to speak,

"But the problem is that I have no place to live and I heard you three had a clubhouse and was wondering if you could help me out. Oh, and don't tell anypony that I live here!"

"Daddy, I'm hungry! Can I have those chimichangas now?"

You turn your head to your side in shock and see Nightshade out of the Inventory. You can't help but think,

What is with this filly and popping out lately? She would barely pop out even when I was getting pummeled, but now she pops out 24/7!

You notice the CMC looking at her strangely, so you give her a pleading look as you say,

"I'll buy you some chimichangas later sweetie, okay."

"Fine" she pouts. You then remember the CMC are right there and you turn to them and introduce Nightshade,

"Oh yeah, this is my daughter Nightshade. She lives in my saddlebag. Can you help us?"

You both give your best smiles and try not to come off as awkward or creepy (even if your smile is blocked due to your mask). You start to think that they won't accept as they huddle together and talk in whispers. But, despite all the accidental evidence suggesting that you're some kind of deranged psychopath that steals small foals and that letting you live in their clubhouse would be a terrible idea, the CMC remain oblivious to it all and simply look to each other before shouting,

"CUTIE-MARK CRUSADERS, VAGRANT SHELTERERS! YAY!"

You and Nightshade both give huge smiles as you say,

"Thank you so much you three, you don't know how much this means to me. And you... uh... What was it called again... Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony?"

They nod their heads and do the chant and motions again as you smile.

"So can we take you to our clubhouse now?"

"Allons-y!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and even Nightshade (you were only able to show her the 1st and 2nd Doctor Doctor Who serials because the only movie theater in Appleloosa only plays old black-and-white and/or silent movies) look at you puzzled before you explain,

"Um... 'Allons-y' means 'Let's go'."

"Ohhhhh..." they all say as they nod their heads in understanding. You get Nightshade to go back in the Inventory, but before you all depart you ask...

Scootaloo reveals that while her #1 idol is still the fillyfooler, you're a close second due to the fact that you saved them and are a "super-awesome rebel outlaw" (but she asks you not to tell anypony (especially not Rainbow Dash) that she's a member of "The Horde", although she did use that melee as an opportunity to grab some of RD's hair for her RD fan hat)

"Soooo... you guys ever heard of the Hooded Offender fellow that everyli- I mean everypony seems to be talking about?"

The girls stop smiling and Applebloom looks down with a conflicted look on her face as Sweetie and Scootaloo put on thinking faces. A few moments later Sweetie and Scootaloo look around suspiciously before Sweetie whispers,

"Hey, B.S.T. can you keep a secret?"

You nod you head vigorously as you think,

Of course I can keep a secret. I'm a changeling for Luna's sake. Of course there was that one time I told the Minotaur's about a upcoming changeling invasion on accident... and then there was that time I accidentally ruined my ex-Queen's surprise party... but that's besides the point!

While you're mentally rambling, Sweetie looks at Scootaloo before saying.

"Well you see... me and Scoot's here are part of the Horde."

You feel like your head's about to explode, but then you remember that Sweetie helped you get into Rarity's place to cure her of her grayness.

"Yeah, I'm his number one fan! Well, actually I'm Rainbow Dash's number one fan and I'm even the chairpony of the 'Official Rainbow Dash Fan Club' and since I can't be a number one fan of two awesome ponies who are mortal enemies so I guess I'm his number two fan. But I did make my own customized Hoody with his symbol on it!"

"Hey, I thought I was his number 1 fan!" Sweetie Belle protests,

"You're only a fan cause your sister hates him!"

"Nuh uh! I'm a fan because he saved me from that Cockatrice!"

"He saved all three of us, remember?"

As the two fillies argue, you look at Scootaloo in confusion as you think,

Symbol... what sym-Oh that symbol.

You then remember the symbol you put on the cloaks of your ex-minions.

I guess that's my official symbol... hmmmmm... Note to self: buy sliver spray paint.

You snap out of your thoughts as you hear Scootaloo say,

"Like I was saying, of course the Hoody's not as big as my wig made out of Rainbow Dash's mane which I manage to pull out when helping the Hooded Offender esc-*hmmph*"

She quickly clamps her hooves over her mouth when she realizes what she's saying, but you heard enough,

A mini-stalker with a wig made outta the.... fillyfooler's... mane... oh I'm gonna be sick...

Your face turns green and you put your hooves over your masked mouth to stop the oncoming vomit. Applebloom notices this and snaps out of her conflicted look and asks,

"Hey, mister why don't I take ya to your new home?"

You nod your head in a sick way as they lead you towards the clubhouse.

20 MINUTES LATER

After the CMC take you to their clubhouse, you let Nightshade play with them (taking Cheerilee's advise about how your daughter needs to play with foals her own age) as you start patching the clubhouse (duct tape some structures, remove rusty/jagged nails and screws with the WD-40 and vise-grip, etc). You're now done patching and you give out a suppressed sigh as you remember the guilt at accidentally hurting Applebloom's sister. Applejack may be a species-ist hick, but the guilt of hurting your friend in someway actually physically hurts. After you calmed down...

Have Nightshade play with the CMC, but make them promise to NEVER tell anypony about her or yourself. They then respond with something called a "Pinkie Promise" which leaves you very confused

Do some investigation to find out the extent of Discord's memory wipe which will require you to seek out old newspapers which you know are usually located at a library. Unfortunately the only library in Ponyville happens to be the residence of one Twilight Sparkle... Joy.

You get an idea.

"I know! I'll go to the library and see if they have any old newspapers I can use to figure out how much Discord affected everyling's memory! Yeah! I'll do tha-wait a minute. The only Library I know of is...Twilight's... Buck..."

You sigh in resignation before you sarcastically say,

"Well, I haven't lived a short enough life so I might as well put it in danger again by going directly into the lair of the zap-happy top minion of the goddess who controls the sun. Nothing can possibly go wrong..."

With that said you climb out of the clubhouse and head towards Ponyville. On your way, you see Nightshade playing tag with the CMC while wearing what looks like a red cape. Deciding to tell her where your going you shout out,

"Nightshade! Honey! Daddy's going to the Library to look for some old newspapers. If I'm not back in an hour, execute Order 66!"

Nightshade stops chasing Applebloom and shouts,

"Okay Daddy!"

"And remember girls, you can't tell anypony that me or Nightshade-!"

"WE KNOW!" The CMC all shout

With that you sigh as you head towards your doom...

ONE UNEVENTFUL WALK LATER

When you get to the library, rather than question your disguise or ask if you look familiar, Twilight just asks you if you "got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?"
You meekly reply that you just need some old newspapers causing Twilight to panic-berate you over how that's "not good enough for a friendship report" (this leaves you utterly confused) and throw a stack of old newspapers in your face with her magic before trotting off.

You reach the library and are about to knock on the door when it suddenly swings open. Twilight runs right into you and says in a cheerful tone,

"Oh, Hi there! You're just the stallion I need!"

You look at her in disturbed confusion and you swear you see sparkles in her eyes as she leans uncomfortably close to you as she continues,

"You got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?"

You nervously reply,

"Uh... I just need some old newspapers-"

"What?! That's it?! That's not good enough for a friendship report!"

"Friendship report? What-*thud*"

Before you can voice your confusion, Twilight suddenly throws a stack of newspapers at your face and says,

"If you have any more questions, ask my assistant Spike. Gotta go."

And with that, she trots off as you start to unbury yourself from the stack of newspapers. Suddenly you notice a purple claw getting newspapers off you.

"Here let me help you up dude"

You take his claw to help yourself up as you say,

"Thanks man, what's up with her?"

"Twilight's just... not in a good mood right now. It happens whenever she starts to panic alot."

"Yikes, remind me never to get her to start panicking... On purpose at least"

You both start to pick up an organize the newspapers (you're looking for newspapers after you first landing in the Everfree forest) as Spike says,

"Hey nice clothes, I really like the hat."

"Thanks they're a gift from the... I mean my, Doctor. Hehe"

Not noticing the nervous chuckle at the end, Spike looks at you confused and asks,

"Your Doctor gave you clothes?"

"Yeah, I have a medical condition that if my skin touches sunlight... well it won't be pretty. Especially the skin on my limbs and lower face. I have the Doctor's note right here."

You show the Note to Spike as you both finish putting the newspapers into The Inventory.

"Well thanks for the help, bye Spike!"

"Bye... uh whats your name?"

"Baker Sylvester Tennant, but my friends call me B.S.T."

"Okay, bye B.S.T."

With that, you decide to head back to the CMC clubhouse as you figure you'll need a more secure location to analyze the newspapers.

ANOTHER UNEVENTFUL WALK LATER

Look over the old newspapers and discover that everything is unaltered until the events at the Grand Galloping Gala where the papers claim you mind-controlled "a blue traveling showpony that couldn't be reached for comment" and only got up to 1 tail with the Nightmare Cloak before being driven off by Princess Celestia and the elements. Then it says you laid low for half a year (with the exception of popping up once in Fillydelphia/Las Pegasus/Vanhoover (author's choice) to pull off a cake heist) before claiming that you released Discord and teamed up with him.

When you get back to the clubhouse (the CMC are now playing "Duck, duck, goose") you take out the newspapers and start your research. Fortunately, you discover from the old newspapers that everything is unaltered until the events at the Grand Galloping Gala. The papers claim you mind-controlled "a blue showpony unicorn that couldn't be reached for comment".

"Oh let me guess... Trixie."

You growl angrily at that traitorous blue mare. You calm down and continue to read the paper. Apparently you only got up to 1 tail with the Nightmare Cloak before being driven off by Princess Celestia and the elements. Then it says you laid low for half a year (with the exception of popping up once in Fillydelphia to pull off a cake heist) before claiming that you released Discord and teamed up with him. You snort in anger and think,

Stupid Discord! I was THIS close to a perfect life and then you had to come along and ruin it! Stupid... Whatever you are.

You sigh before you start to relax...

After getting settled in somewhere, you take out the Doctor's notebook. He told you to report anything unusual to him, but nothing... too unusual has happend so far. Which, considering where you are, would be considered unusual. Right?
Maybe you just got lucky today. Maybe Lady Luck decided to let you off with awkwardness and embarassment rather than any real dangerous-
BOOM!
A rainbow mushroom cloud erupts in the distance, and the shockwave staggers you, even from this far away.
"Um, Daddy?" Nightshade says, "shouldn't you go check that out?"
You grin and shake your head. "Nope! Nothing unusual there! Just... a weather balloon! A weather balloon hit by a lightning bolt! A multicolored lightning bolt. On a clear day."
Nightshade gives you her Really, Daddy? look.

You decide to take out the Doctor's notebook. He told you to report anything unusual to him, but nothing... too unusual has happened so far which, considering where you are, would be considered unusual. Right?

Maybe I just got lucky today. Maybe Lady Luck decided to let me off with awkwardness and embarrassment rather than any real danger-

"Daddy?"

You snap out of your thoughts as you see Nightshade standing there.

"Me, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are hungry. Can we have snacks?"

You roll your eyes with a smile as you take out the banana and three packets of dried fruit from The Inventory ("12 Bags of Dried Fruit" and "0 Bananas" remaining)...

BOOM!

A rainbow mushroom cloud erupts in the distance, the shockwave staggering you and Nightshade, even from this far away.

"Um, Daddy? Shouldn't you go check that out?"

You grin and shake your head.

"Nope! Nothing unusual there! Just... a weather balloon! A weather balloon hit by a lightning bolt! A multicolored lightning bolt. On a clear day."

Nightshade gives you her Really, Daddy? look. You sigh in defeat and say,

"Fine! I'll go check it out, but if I get caught and beaten up again then you're grounded."

Nightshade giggles at your threat and says,

"Whatever you say Daddy."

"Oh and If I'm not back in a hour then execute operation 66. You do remember what Order 66 is right?"

"Of course. Order 66, also known as Clone Protocol 66, is the codename for the Emperor's order to kill all of the Jedi. It was secretly programmed into biochips implanted into the brains of the clones to ensure-*giggle*"

Nightshade starts giggling when she sees the expression on your face and continues,

"I'm just bucking with you daddy. Order 66 is to find Fluttershy or Zecora the zebra and stay with them."

"That's my girl... Oh and watch the language around the other fill-"

"YOU MOTHERBUCKING CHEATER!" You hear Sweetie Belle yell. You facehoof and mutter,

"Rarity's gonna kill me... More than usual..."

"See ya Daddy!"

With that, Nightshade goes back to CMC with the snacks. With a sigh you get up, put the Doctor's notebook back into the Inventory, climb out of the clubhouse, and walk towards where you saw the rainbow.

12 MINUTES LATER

You've almost reached where the explosion came from, when you bump into someling. You shake your head and hold your hoof out to the pony and say,

"Sorry about that, are you ok-"

You stop dead in your tracks when you see who it is.

Twilight stinking Sparkle!

You look at her strangely as she now looks kinda of... insane. You mean her mane is completely unkempt, her right eye is twitching like mad, and she just doesn't look..right in the head. Before you know it, Twilight jumps you and holds you down and says insanely,

"Hi there... friend. You must really need my help. I mean look at your eyes and those clothes. Here let me help you fix them..."

You look at Twilight in pure terror and you can't help but think...

Luna... Lady Luck... Solar flank... Batmare... HELP ME!

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Sorry for the late chapter, I blame T.V

Yesterdays question is...

The Scariest Doctor Who Alien is the Doctor Himself. He is known throughout the ages as a warrior, who's very name instills fear into Monsters. He is kind most of the time, but he has a fury that even the most genocidal Daleks fear. He is a being that was willing to exterminate two entire races from all time, including his own people. If you earn his wrath, you will be sorry. Don't forget what he did to the Family of Blood.
The Doctor is one of the greatest heroes of all time, but he can be a cruel monster if he ever so decides, and he knows and fears that aspect of himself. The fact that even he fears what he is capable of is a scary thought.

Congrats to BrownDog77 for the answer. While my personal most feared enemy is between the infected people from New New Earth (Seriously does guys are creepy), The Silence, and the Weeping Angels. BrownDogs expiation is quiet true. The Doctor is his own worse fear, his own personal enemy, his one true personal monster.

Today's episode question is...

What is your favorite mystery show?

Come on, tell me what your favorite drama or comedy filled crime and mystery show? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 14: HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! THIS TOWN'S GONE NUTS!

Oh Luna... Twilight wants to Ra-, Ra-, Ra- RAVAGE MY NEW CLOTHES!!! Now if she were Sapphire Shores, Spitfire, or Fluttershy then this might be strangely aro- NO! FOCUS BUG!!!

You have experienced many horrors throughout your short life. However, the smile the purple mare is giving you at the moment just takes the top spot for the creepiest things you have ever seen. You didn't even know a face could contort that way! You have to put your fears aside for now and think of a way out of this because you can NOT be seen without your disguise.

As Twilight continues to stare at you insanely, you can't help but think in pure terror,

Oh Luna no...Twilight wants to Ra-, Ra-, Ra- RAVAGE MY NEW CLOTHES!!! Now if she were Sapphire Shores or Spitfire then this might be strangely aro- NO! FOCUS BUG!!! NOW'S NOT THE TIME NOR PLACE TO THINK STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT!

You shake your head from the strange thought as you see Twilight's face is now closer to yours, so much so that you can feel her breath. She gives you a crooked smile as she says,

"Now, dear dear friend, tell me what your deepest darkest problem is, and I will do everything in my power to... solve it."

You start to sweat bullets as you think,

Dear Luna... I have experienced many horrors throughout my short life. I've been beaten within a inch of my life, I've seen my daughter 'die', I ate a ghost pepper on a dare and lived (the toilet however, did not), I've seen my Grandbuggy in the shower once on accident (your eyes burned for weeks). However, the smile that Twilight is giving me at the moment just takes the top spot for the creepiest things I have ever seen, and I've seen the animated movies of Robert Zemarekis (*shudder*). I didn't even know a pony's face could even contort that way! OK, I NEED to think of a way out of this because I can NOT be seen without my disguise... Besides, I've grown rather fond of these clothes, especially the hat and coat. They're surprisingly comfy.

After that mental ramble, you put on your thinking face as you try to think of every possible way to get out of this mess...

...

*ding* Eureka!

Scream,
"Hlep I'm being wrapped!" (I meant to spell them like that)
Twi: "Allow me to correct your grammar and be a good friend, I thi-

Deciding to go with your ingenious plan, you shout,

"Hlep!!! I'm being wrapped!!!!"

Twilight looks at you insanely while giggling like a madmare, before saying,

"Silly friend, allow me to correct your grammar and be a good good friend. The word you're actually looking for is-"

Your breath hitches in fear when Twilight doesn't buy it, so you decide to go with plan B. You charge up your RCV and shout...

scream in your rcv if all else fail to get away from her! "stranger danger!" "help I need an adult!" "my bubble space!" "don't hurt me!" or something crazy to babble about like "not the tacos! or pinkie pie we need a help twilight party stat!" shout it out distract her craziness with crazy and hope the shenanigans effect works!

"HELP, I NEED A ADULT!"

Twilight (seemingly unaffected by your RCV) smiles insanely as she whispers,

"Silly, I am a adult."

You whimper in fear as you shout,

"SOMEPONY! STRANGER DANGER OVER HERE!"

Twilight giggles as she says,

"Oh, but we're not strangers. We're BFFAT, as in we're 'best friends for all time'."

You stare at her in pure terror as you shout out your last chance of survival...

"BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! REALLY REALLY BAD TOUCH!"

Twilight just giggles insanely as she says,

"Trust me friend, my touch won't be bad at all. You'll thank me for getting rid of those terrible clothes and hat."

Your eyes are twitching in panic (you didn't even think that was possible) as you mentally panic,

Oh Luna, she's too cuckoo for cocoa puffs to respond to the RCV or any rational thinking! I'm dooooommmmmmed!

You see that Twilight is charging up her magic, and your panic levels reach their max!

Terrified to near 'Pissin yerself' levels by the mentally unstable mare before you, you scream out the first thing that comes to mind. "I don't want your magical plastic surgery! Don't make me look like white Michael Moonwalker (Jackson)!"

Your panic levels have reached 'pee oneself' levels by the mentally unstable mare (of course you're one to talk considering you go psycho whenever you reach phase 3 (it's what you call when your fangs sharpen and you grow horns and three tails in the Nightmare cloak) but still this mare is freaking you out (more then usual at least)). You scream out the most ridiculous things you can think of to hopefully confuse her long enough to allow you to escape,

"I don't want your magical plastic surgery! Don't make me look like white Michael Moonwalker!"

Twilight looks at you with a face that says 'I'm insane and don't care right now' before saying,

"Oh I won't give you magical plastic surgery, I haven't learned any spells in that department yet, but the spell I will do will rip you of your cloths in a very painfully friendly manner."

She then proceeds to give you a sweet smile. causing you stare at her for a few moments in terror before shouting,

"HELP SHE'S CRAZY! I HAVE NO PROBLEM IF SOMELING DECIDES TO SMACK HER AWAY OR KICK HER IN THE HEAD. I'M FINE WITH EITHER, BUT PLEASE SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

Twilight looks like she's gonna cast the spell when...

Now would be a good time for a random falling object to hit Twilight on the head and hopefully disorient her long enough to let you push her off and run like heck!

A flower pot falls out of nowhere and smashes on Twilight's head. You look at her confused as she wobbles side-to-side while mumbling,

"Must... make... report..."

Before she falls off of you and face-plants into the ground next to you. Not wanting to waste this chance to save your awesome clothes, you jump up and run into a nearby bush. You peak out of the ally to see a light gold pegasus with a light cyan mane and tail flying above Twilight. She gives you a salute before flying away. As she flies away you can't help but think,

Oh thank Luna, she saved me. I'm definitely paying her back later, I wonder if she needs anything patched?

As you're thinking this, you see Twilight get back up and look around insanely while talking to herself, before she starts running towards... Fluttershy's!

-Decide to follow her to make sure she doesn't cause too much damage. Besides, she's heading towards Fluttershy's cottage!

Your hero complex takes ahold of you as well as your will to protect your friends as you think,

Oh no! Who knows what Twilight will do if she gets to Fluttershy the way she is now! I gotta stop her... or at the very least make sure she doesn't kill her.

With that you sneakily run after Twilight.

27 MINUTES LATER

you decide to visit Fluttershy and see if she's alright.
When you get there you see..."HOLY CRAP IS SHE FIGHTING A BEAR?!!!" "
She is going to town on a bear who seems to be crying. Your mouth drops in shock. You're not the only one, you see Twilight, who looks a bit disheveled and is twitching look just as shocked and confused.
You look back and see her MURDER THE BEAR BY SNAPPING ITS NECK!!!!
You: HOLY CRAP!
You swear you hear the words FATALITY said after that.
You run away in fear because something very bad has happened to turn Fluttershy evil. Twilight might have done something to her mind because she was a Horde Member!
Speaking of her, you follow her to a park bench where she appears to be losing her sanity.
OK, something very wrong is going on. Make a note of it in the Journal.

You catch up to Twilight at Fluttershy's hut, but she appears to be staring in shock at something. Curiosity getting the better of you, you sneak into a nearby bush and see...

HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA! IS FLUTTERSHY FIGHTING A BUCKING BEAR?!

Your mouth literally drops to the floor in surprise as you see Fluttershy putting the bear in a leglock as it bangs it's fist on the ground. You look away wincing when you saw her elbow drop the bear and see Twilight's jaw also on the ground in shock. You turn around just in time to see-FLUTTERSHY STRAIGHT-UP MURDER THE BUCKING BEAR BY SNAPPING HIS NECK!

"FATALITY" you swore you heard a deep voice declare.

"HOLY MOTHER OF BUCK!!!"

You snap out of your shocked state as you see Twilight walk away while mumbling to herself. You decide to follow her, but you both just miss Fluttershy starting to massage the bear's back,

"You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder."

ONE WALK TO THE PARK LATER

You've followed Twilight to a park bench, where she proceeded to lay down on it and pet her tail. She's now apparently arguing with a puddle of her tears causing you to think,

OK, something VERY wrong is going on... I better tell the Doctor.

With that thought in mind, you decide to write in the Doctor's notebook and send him a message,

Doctor, Bugze here. Don't know if this is report worthy, but you have to know this: Twilight Sparkle, one of the Deadly Five and a normally calm and smart mare, has gone- well... bonkers! She has a insane look in her eyes and she looks insane. She tried to rip off my clothes and right now she's on a bench combing her tail while mumbling to herself. Also Fluttershy, a sweet innocent and shy mare, JUST FREAKING SNAPPED A BEAR'S NECK! I'm gonna check on the CMC (my landowners are #$ year olds, go figure) and Nightshade, see if some sort of insane chemical or alien spreading insane gas or something is the cause and if it is, if its infecting them. Bugze out.

With that written down, you start to run towards the CMC and Nightshade...

You've followed Twilight around and reported her movements to the Doctor, and now the day is almost over. You find Nightshade and the CMC playing with a beach ball. Suddenly, your guts twist into knots, and this plays in your head. That was a SERIOUS disturbance in the Force. Twilight pops out of the beach ball, and the doll she has with her is sending off such twisted love vibrations you almost vomit.
You really are pathetic, you know that?
What do YOU want?!
That doll isn't normal. I can feel it trying to snake into your head. What is it with that lately? First Discord, now this. I'm stopping it, by the way. You should be thanking me!
Huh. Seems the DFV can be helpful when she wants to be. And what she said about the doll getting into your head... That probably isn't good.

23 MINUTES LATER

By the time you get back to the clubhouse, the day is almost over with and you can't be more thankful for it.

The sooner this day is over with, the sooner I can go to bed and forget any of this craziness ever happened...You think as you reach the clubhouse and find Nightshade and the CMC playing with a beach ball in the nearby field.

Suddenly, you feel a chill in your spine as this plays in your head.

Luna, that was a SERIOUS disturbance in the Force! But what could be causing it-

Your question is answered when Twilight pops out of the beach ball with a completely insane look on her face as she approaches the fillies.

*snap* "Ahhh!"

You wince in pain as you think,

What.... Why do I feel weaker than I usually do in this situation-

You really are pathetic, you know that?

You suddenly become more alert as you recognize the D.F.V. as you firmly reply,

What do YOU want?!

Just reminding you that we're STILL recovering from our... draw with that warped lunatic and you still insist on pushing too hard with OUR body you imbecile!

Before you can respond, you suddenly feel another disturbance and look back to see Twilight levitating an old worn doll that's sending off such twisted love vibrations you feel sick.

That doll isn't normal. I can feel it trying to snake into your head, but I'm repelling it. You should be thanking me. the DFV suddenly comments,

Huh. Seems the DFV can be helpful when she wants to be. And what she said about the doll getting into my head... That probably isn't good-

"MOVE *%^$*, GET OUT THE WAY!!!"

You snap out of your mental debate/rambling when you hear Nightshade cursing and you turn and see the CMC fighting over the doll with Nightshade hitting Scootaloo with a can of WD-40! Your fatherly instincts kicking in, you completely ignore the pain as you rush in, grab Nightshade, and stuff her in the Inventory as you shout,

"SORRY HONEY, BUT THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND IF YOU WANTED A DOLL YOU COULD HAVE ASKED, NOT GO PSYCHO CRAZY OVER A VERY BADLY-MADE ONE!"

After you stuff Nightshade into the Inventory, you look back over to the CMC to see...

Check that. It's HORRIBLE! The entire town is chasing you after you jump up and grab it to get it away from them. You had to do some ungentlemanly things to Mayor Mare to get on top of the pile (read: you pulled her tail, clawed up her back, and kicked her between the eyes as you jumped over Big Mac), but you have the doll. Now you just have to keep it away from everyone else.
You teleport away and land on top of Sugarcube Corner. There's another flash next to you, and an enraged Twilight Sparkle appears next to you. "YOU! What are you doing? You're ruining my plan!"
You hold the doll in one side of your mouth and talk out the other. "If you know what I'm doing, why did you ask?" You teleport again before she answers.
It drops you into the swimming hole. Twilight drops in a moment later, eyes on fire. "No-"
You teleport again, this time you're tangled in the branches of an apple tree. Twilight pops under you. "-you-"
In a flash, you're gone again. The teleport sends you to the balcony of the library. Twilight lands on top of you. "-DON'T!"

A very strange sight. You see the CMC chasing a huge red stallion who's running off with the doll.

Whoa, what does that guy eat and where can I get some? With muscles like those I could-NO, focus bug! Twilight obviously did something to that doll to make ponies want to have it! There's no other reason I can think of for a grown stallion (especially one with muscles the size of my head) to fight over a doll. So... I guess I'll just go ahead and grab the doll and burn it in fire to release the spell on it... yeah that makes sense.

With that thought in mind you run towards the brawl over the evil doll while shouting...

"MOVE IT YA CRAZY PSYCHOS! CONCERNED PARENT COMIN TO FREE YOU ALL FROM THE EVIL DOLL'S MIND CONTROL!!!"

You also can't help but think,

At least this time it's HER doing the mind control for once, and the Hooded Offender isn't getting blamed for it! Now I get to call her a hippocratic, YES!

BRIEF CHASE LATER

After some running (for a big guy, he can really move) in which several more ponies joined the chase, you finally manage to cut off the stallion as he turns to avoid the Mayor by rolling at his legs, tripping him and causing the doll to fall out of his mouth when he face-plants into the ground. You quickly snatch up the doll and scream,

"BACK YOU CRAZY MOTHERBUCKERS! THE DOLL IS EVIL AND IT MUST BURN! BACK I SAY! BACK!..."

As the ponies start to slowly close in, you think,

Oh... This is bad! If only there was some spell that could teleport me out of-

You facehoof as you remember a spell you could have used several situations ago and declare,

"SEE YA SUCKERS!"

Before you teleport away and land on top of Sugarcube Corner, but there's another flash next to you. You turn and see an enraged Twilight Sparkle next to you who angrily shouts,

"YOU! What are you doing? You're ruining my plan!"

You hold the doll in one side of your mouth and snark out the other,

"If you know what I'm doing, why'd you ask?"

You teleport away before she can answer-

*SPLASH*

...and get dropped into the swimming hole. Twilight drops in a moment later with fire in her eyes as she declares,

"No-"

You teleport again, but now you're tangled in the branches of an apple tree as Twilight pops under you.

"-You-"

In a flash, you're gone again as the teleport drops you headfirst on the balcony of the library as Twilight pops in and lands on top of you.

"-DON'T!"

You teleport once again to the middle of town and you don't see anyling in sight. Just as you're about to breathe a sigh of relief, the ground beneath you starts to shake. Your eyes widen in fear as you look towards the front of the town to see... a horde of crazed possessive ponies running towards you while shouting,

"MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!"

You start to tremble as you think,

Oh... buck you lady luck... and Twilight too I guess...

What do you do?

[FIXED] Episode 15: GOTTA GO FAST, GOTTA GO REALLY FAST!!

For the sake of silliness, this will be today's theme song-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7LDbLMzzic

alright you gotta RUN LIKE THE HOUNDS OF HELL ARE RIGHT BEHIND YOU AND DONT LOOK BACK.

As the mob of crazed ponies get closer and closer to you, you decide to take the calm, rational, cool-headed way of solving this probl-

"BAD DAY BAD DAY BAD DAY BAD DAY BAD DAY!!!!"

...and by that I mean you start to run for your life and scream like a mad stallion. The crazed mob gives chase as they all shout,

"HE HAS THE PRECIOUS DOLL, GET HIM!!"

You pick up the pace as the mob starts chasing after you as you scream at the top of your lungs,

"CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYP- I MEAN DOCTOR! CURSE YOU LUNA! CURSE YOU ALL TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE! IF I SURVIVE THIS, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO WAKE UP COVERED IN CHICKEN FEATHERS AND SMELLING LIKE DIAMOND DOG DUNG!"

MEANWHILE AT CANTERLOT CASTLE

Princess Luna feels a chill run up her spine, Celestia takes notice of this and asks

"What's wrong sister?"

Luna looks at her sister with a smile at her concern and says,

"Tis nothing dear sister, just a chill."

Celestia nods her head and goes back to eating her dinner. Luna also begins to eat, but a troubling thought enters her mind,

But why do I feel a sense of forbidding dread... I'm locking my door tonight.

MEANWHILE ON THE TARDIS

*shiver*

"Oh, a sense of forbidding dread! I haven't felt that since that time I hid the last heir of an empire from that crazed King's magic."

Derpy responds, "I remember that! That foal was adorable with her little pink wings! Why did we have to leave her in the forest a thousand years later again?"

BACK TO YOU

You've been running for a good 15 minutes now and you're starting to lose stamina as you swear you can feel the crazy mob's breathing down your neck. You've tried everything to throw them off; diving into alleys, teleporting to random places around town, you even hid in a dumpster! But yet they still find you! You run down another alley and are about to get out when you see that it's a dead end!

Oh you have got to be bucking kidding me!

You look around nervously as you hear the crazy mob getting closer. You're about to dive into a dumpster (again) when you hear someling shout,

"THERE HE IS!"

You look at the alley entrance to see the crazy mob coming in (somehow only barely fitting into the tight and narrow space) and getting closer... You're about to cry for your mommy, *ding* when you suddenly get a great idea...

You think about using the staff or FUS RO DAH, but then you remember that you just got this disguise and don't want to blow it so soon so you just RUN!!!

You're about to charge up a Fus Ro Dah to clear out the alley, when you remember that the Hooded Offender is the only one who knows how to use that and since you don't feel like having to blow your new cover on day one, you decide not to abort the attack.

At the very least, I want to last until day eighteen before my cover's blown... if I survive that long that is. Whatever Twilight did to this doll must be super strong if it has the whole town under its spell- Gah! Focus bug, if you don't find a way out of this situation now, you'll be nothing but bug soup! Come on bug, think, think, Think... *ding*Brainblast!

shout, LOOK IT'S THE DOLL! IT TELEPORTED! to distract them.

These ponies are acting like zombies, and not the slow stupid kind of zombies, their running ninja-zombies! But if one thing playing Dead-sun Rising, Resident Weevil 4, and Left 2 Die has taught you, it's how to survive against fast ninja-zombies.
First off, find a gun... oh wait, they don't have those in Equestria (stupid arms agreements), and you really shouldn't kill them anyways, so... Get to higher ground! You use your parkor skills to clammer onto the rooftops, away from the ravenous horde below. Thinking you're safe, you take a breather when you hear "GIMME! It'll look great next to my collection of plastic human dolls!"
You turn around in time to see Lyra flying towards you wielding a hook-shot. She slams into you and the two of you fall through the thatched roof of the building you were standing on.

With a new plan in mind, you quickly and secretly put the cursed doll behind you as you point behind the mob and shout,

"LOOK IT'S THE ALMIGHTY DOLL! IT TELEPORTED USING ITS GODLY MAGIC!"

The crazed mob all turn simultaneously to look behind them. Taking advantage of the distraction, you grab the doll in your mouth before using your awesome Pony Creed-style parkor skills to climb up onto the nearby roof. You can't help but think as you climb up the wall,

These ponies are like zombies now! Well... not the slow ones like in "The Trotting Dead", they're more like those running zombies that always got me the first time around in the many zombie games I've played, but, if my experience from playing "Dead-sun Rising", "Resident Weevil 4", "Left 2 Die", and "Dead Island" has taught me anything, then it's how to survive fast-walking zombies. First I"ll need to find a gun- Wait, guns aren't real... and I probably don't want to kill anyling anyway, cleanup would be a-

Your thoughts are interrupted when you spot some ponies about to look up so you dive behind a chimney.

I seriously need to find either some holy water or a nice big bonfi-

"GIMME THAT DOLL!"

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear Lyra's shout. You turn around to see Lyra flying towards you wielding a hook-shot before she slams into you, causing the two of you fall through the thatched roof of the building you were standing on. As you fall though the ceiling, a piece of rubble lands in your mouth. Your eyes widen in surprise as you start to chew and think,

Why does this rubble taste like... gingerbread?

You take cover in Sugarcube Corner/some other building. It goes as well as this.

You get up from the rubble to see Lyra knocked out next to you with her hook-shot next to her. You're about to take it when we see it was broken in the fall. Seeing through the window that the mob is still looking for you, you decide to use that to your advantage. You pick up Lyra and her broken hook-shot and shove them into a nearby closet before nailing the doors shut (luckily there was alot of wood, hammer, and nails nearby). After that you board up the windows and you push a shelf in front of the door. After you're work is done, you spot some Cherry-changas on the counter. Remembering your promise to Nightshade, you put 3 into the inventory ("3 Cherry-changas" added to The Inventory) and are about to get the bits to pay when you hear,

"HE'S IN THERE, GET HIM!"

Suddenly, limbs start to smash through the gaps in the boards and claw at you. Getting a desperate idea you yell,

"Stay back! I got a chainsaw! Rang-rumm-rumm-rumm-rumm!"

You then proceed to hold your hooves in front of you and make chainsaw noises which causes the hooves to recoil in fear. You're about to sigh in relief when you see several eyes looking through the walls. You chuckle nervously and continue to make (more pathetically desperate this time) chainsaw noises as the eyes suddenly scowl in annoyance/anger before withdrawing and the hooves continue to claw through the gaps.

I REALLY wanted to avoid hurting anypony, but now I have no choice!

"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"

You spin-smash though one of the boarded windows and the few ponies unlucky enough to be behind it as you land on your hooves and make a mad dash for safety (while ignoring the pain-radiating bumps on your head from doing that move), but your suddenly get surrounded by the crazy mob! You look all around you in fear as the ponies get closer. Suddenly, a pegasus mare you don't know with a pink mane walks out of the crowd and says,

"Now mister, this can go one of two ways. One ends with us getting our precious doll, and the other ends with you in a bloody puddle. Your choice..."

You gulp in fear, and you do the stupidest thing you can think of...

With the pack of stark raving mad ponies bearing down on you, Twilight abandons you to your fate...or rather she noticed her friends nearby and stopped the Filly Fooler from looking at the doll.
You decide to do something drastic since you're not in any shape to fight. You pull out your vice grips and put the doll's head in them.
You: Everypony Stay Back, or the Doll Gets it!
Herd: GASP!
Lyra: No!
Bon Bon: Don't hurt that amazing and incredible doll!
You: I'll do it I swear!
Roseluck: You Monster!
Mayor Mare: You will get the chair for this!
Big Mac: Eyup!
You: Why are you the only dude here?
Big Mac: Snarl
You: Anyway, why fight over this poorly made piece of junk?
Twilight: HEY! My Brother Gave Me That!!!
You: When you could have this (Pull out Awesome Luna Plushy that Nightshade was cuddling with and asleep)
Herd: Whoa!!! (All there eyes begin to lose their insane look as they sparkle in awe at the beautifully crafted Luna doll)
Berry: It's so beautiful
Lily: This is the first time I've ever felt true joy
Daisy: Wow, is that in mint condition?
DFV: She's just the cotton image of a weak pathetic wanabe!
You: Whoa, what's up with you?
DFV: Nothing...(Pouting)
Suddenly, everypony in the herd loses consciousness with a peaceful smile on their face including Twilight and her friends
You: Whoa! Didn't expect that...This Doll is Awesome! Thanks Doctor! Wonder why he called it just a plushy though?
DFV: Rule number one, the doctor lies
You: Oh Yeah...Wait! Are you telling me you've been a Doctor Whoove's fan this whole time and you didn't say anything?
DFV: I'm in your head, and I try to like the things you like my friend...I try...
Did she sound a little...saddened? You'll have to find out later

You whip out your vice-grips and put them on the doll's head before screaming

"Everypony stay back or the doll gets it!"

The pink-maned pegasus mare in front of you (and the rest of the insane ponies) recoil in fear as they all gasp. The mare in front of you (who's apparently the leader) shouts, "NO!"

You then hear Bon Bon say,

"Don't hurt that amazing and incredible doll!"

You look around nervously and say with a hint of insanity in your voice,

"I'll do it, I swear!" and tug on the doll's head with the vise-grips to emphasize your point. You hear another mare that sounds like someling you know, the mayor, and... a stallion(?) shout,

"You Monster!"

"You'll get the rope for this!"

"Eyup!"

You look at the big red stallion in confusion and ask,

"Why are you the only guy here? Is half this town mares or something or are you... you know.. a really-?"

*Snarl*

"Anyway, why fight over this poorly made piece of junk...?"

"HEY! My Brother Gave Me That!!!" Twilight protests. You ignore her and continue,

"When you could have this!"

With one hoof still on the vise-grips (which are holding on to the head of the doll), your other hoof pulls out the Luna Plushie (that Nightshade was adorably cuddling with while asleep).

"Whoa!!!" The mob all says simultaneously as the insanity in their eyes is replaced with sparkles as they stare in awe at the beautifully crafted Luna doll.

"It's so beautiful!"

"This is the first time I've ever felt true joy!"

"Wow, is that in mint condition?"

It's merely the cheap image of a weak pathetic wannabe!

Recognizing the dark whisper, you think,

Whoa, what's up with you?

Nothing fool... The DFV pouts in your head.

Suddenly, everypony in the mob loses consciousness with a peaceful smile on their face (including Twilight and her friends).

"Whoa! Didn't expect that...This Doll is Awesome! Thanks Doctor! Wonder why he called it just a plushie though?"

Rule number one, The Doctor lies.

"Oh Yeah... Wait! Are you telling me you've been a Whoovian this whole time and you didn't say anything?"

I'm imprisoned in your head. I try to tolerate the things you like... I try...

Did she sound a little... sad-?

Why don't you have anything useful like "The Start of War" by Mule Tzu or "The Prince" by Marechiavelli in this spaciously vacant skull?

And she's back...

After putting the now dubbed "Knock-out Luna Plushie" into the Inventory, you try to think of a way to get rid of the evil doll when you see...

You still have to destroy the ugly doll that is still radiating tainted love. You need to KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Hey look, there's Spike.

After that as you continue to run, you sight a young purple dragon, is then you shout
"Plan Delta ST-456-M"
The dragon look to you confused and then you shout
"Throw your magic fire, it's a emergency!"
The dragon nodded with the head and a burst of green flames came out from his mouth, and you try to throw the magic doll to the flames of Mordor or the most similar thing
........
Meanwhile somewhere else, in Canterlot the doll appeared just in the middle of the throne room, in front of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Cadence
"What a strange present from my faithfull student... I don't know why but I like it... I will call you miss CuddleDoll"
Say Celestia, but as she was going to take the doll, Luna take the doll instead with her hooves
"No sister, this doll will be mine!"
Shouted Luna as they begin to fight for that doll. Meanwhile Cadence as the princes of love could detect a strange love power from the doll
"Auntie, this is not a normal doll" Say Cadence worried looking the doll
"Of course, because it will be my doll" Answered Celestia
"No! Sister it will be mine!" Say Luna
"Never" Shouted Celestia as her horn begin to glow

Spike.

Hey, it's that dragon again. And Dragons breathe fire. Dragon... fire... dragon... fire... dragon fire... *ding* That's it!

You run towards Spike (while jumping over a few unconscious ponies) and shout,

"Spike! Execute Plan Delta ST-456-M!"

The dragon look at you confused causing you to roll your eyes before shouting,

"For the love of Luna... Breathe your magic fire, it's an emergency!"

The dragon looks at the knocked ponies behind you in surprise before then turning to you and seeing the serious look on your face. You guess he believes you now because he nods his head and a burst of green flames come out from his mouth. You throw the cursed doll to the flames of Mordor (or the mlp equivalent of that) and it bursts into ashes as it hits the green flames. You smile at that and tell Spike,

"Good job Spike, you just saved this town from Twilight's mind control spell!"

Spike looks confused before saying,

"Why would sending Twilight's doll to princess Celestia stop her 'Want It Need It' spell?"

You chuckle and say,

"Cause Spike- *crack* YOU SENT IT TO PRINCESS SOLAR FLANK!!!"

Spike looks confused at your nickname for Celestia, but shrugs and say,

"Yeah, I send the princess Twilight's friendship reports by my fire, so the doll probably went the same place."

Your eye twitches in fear as you say,

"I think... I just doomed all of Equestria..."

MEANWHILE BACK AT CANTERLOT CASTLE

The doll appeared just in the middle of the throne room, in front of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence as they were in the middle of a super-important discussion of strategy (Translation: they were playing "Uno"). Celestia says,

"What a strange present from my faithfull student... I don't know why, but I like it... I will call you miss CuddleDoll!"

Just as she's about to pick up the doll, Luna suddenly snatches it in her hooves and shouts,

"No dearest sister, this doll shall be mine!"

Meanwhile Cadence, being the princes of love, could detect a strange love power from the doll and says to Celestia in worry,

"Auntie, this isn't a normal doll!"

"Of course, because it will be my doll!" Answered Celestia

"No sister! It's mine!"

"No mine!"

The almighty goddesses of the day and the night then proceed to pull the doll with their magic in a foalish tug-of-war as they repeatedly shout "Mine!". Cadence rolls her eyes as she begins to charge up a love cancellation spell, but can't help but think,

Why do I get the feeling that Bugze is involved with all this somehow?

BACK TO YOU

You look at all the unconscious ponies and spot the 6 mares waking up. As you're about to decide what to do next...

Celestia appears to clear up the mess which causes you to bolt to the nearest hiding spot while screaming, "SOLAR-FLANK IS ANGRY! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE IN FLAMES!!!"
Unfortunately, said hiding spot happens to be someplace painful and/or messy. You hide for a few moments before see Twilight walking away in resignation.
You're overjoyed at this since she's the leader of the Deadly Five, but either,
-Your conscience gets the better of you when you see how upset Fluttershy is

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!"

You look up and see Princess Celestia above with an angry look on her face and glowing with energy. Having not heard the name she declared, you jump to conclusions (and back in surprise) and scream,

"SOLAR-FLANK IS UNDER THE DOLL'S MIND CONTROL!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE WE ALL DIE IN FLAMES!"

And with that you jump into a trash can... that happened to have broken Colta-Cola bottles in it, but the coat and pants acted as psuedo-armor and you're too terrified to notice anyway. After a few moments, you risk a peek out of the top to see Celestia say something to the mares before flying off and Twilight says something to her friends before walking off in resignation. You're about to cheer in vindictive joy at this, but when you see the sad look on Fluttershy's face, you can't help but sigh and follow after Twilight to see what's wrong...

For after the the doll has been dealt with: when Celestia confronts Twilight, you observe the conversation through the window.
"I'm a bad student!" wails Twilight "I missed a friendship report, and I'm so so sorry! Please don't send me back to magic kindergarten!"
"Well that's harsh. But you know, if Twilight gets sent back to kindergarten, that means she won't be able to kill me! you think to yourself "This could be a good thing."
"That's not why I'm disappointed in you Twilight. Friendship is many wonderful things, but consistent is not always one of them. I don't expect you to send me a report every single week." Celestia tells her "What I am disappointed about is how you attempted to create a problem, just so you could solve it. Though I doubt you'd do anything like this again." her smile returns.
"No Princess, never again. So... you're not mad?"
"No Twilight, you've learned a valuable lesson from all of this. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do some... Princess-y things... yes. My precious!" she grips the smarty doll and teleports away.
"Darn it! you curse to yourself "Can't ONE thing go my way for once? you sigh defeatedly "Buck this, I'm going to bed."

You stealthily (for real this time. You actually managed to not stumble or accidentally make loud noises for once) follow Twilight back to the library and run around to put your ear onto the window to hear their conversation...

"But... but... I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad student! I'm... tardy!" Twilight wails. "I completely understand if you put me back in Magic Kindergarten..."

Wow, that's harsh... But if Twilight gets sent back to kindergarten, that means she won't be able to zap me anymore! you think to yourself, This could be a good thing!

"That's not why I'm disappointed in you Twilight. Friendship is many wonderful things, but consistent is not always one of them. You are a wonderful student, Twilight. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that." Celestia tells her

"What I am disappointed about is how you attempted to create a problem, just so you could solve it. Though I doubt you'd do anything like this again." her smile returns.

"No Princess, never again! So... you're not mad?"

"I could never stay mad at my most faithful student."

"Darn it!" You curse to yourself "Can't ONE stinking thing go my way for once?"

You sigh in defeated annoyance before saying,

"Buck it, I'm going to bed."

You then remember that you're at the window when you made your outburst. You look inside to see the mares (When the hay did they get there?) and Celestia start to turn towards you, so you panic and teleport outta there...

ONE TELEPORT LATER

And back to the clubhouse onto the sleeping cot! You sigh in happiness as you start to get ready for bed, but as you do you can't help but think...

After all that, Twilight's friends vouched for her and she was let off easy. For mind control. For causing mass disorder and chaos. And for deliberatly disturbing a certain someling who was "new" in town. Seriously!? You yourself were accused of those things and you earned a wanted poster and the wrath of Equestria's Five most dangerous mares you've ever met, and all Twilight got was a scolding from a pseudo parent?! That's not remotely in proportion when a person gets in trouble for something! The legal system is a big massive bust! And the ones who run should feel bad! Celestia should be ashamed!

After all that, Twilight gets off easy? For mind control, causing mass disorder and chaos, and for deliberately disturbing a certain someling who was "new" in town? Seriously!? I get accused of those things and get a wanted poster and the wrath of a Kingdom and all Twilight got was a scolding from a fat-flanked sun goddess?! That's not fair at all! The legal system is a big massive bust! And the ones who run it should feel bad! Celestia should be ashamed!

You sigh as you take off your clothes and get on the cot the CMC put in for you, you close your eyes and go into a dreamless sleep...

THE NEXT MORNING

You wake up the next day (you think it might be about 10:00 am judging by the position of the sun) and as you put on your clothes, there's only one thing you have on your mind...

Time to go job hunting!

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGijsAfeik

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Tuesday's question answer is...

My favorite Mystery Show is Psych, because it not only has great mystery in each of the cases, but it is one of the funniest damn shows ever. Shawn and Gus are one the greatest comedy duos of all time.

Congrats to Browndog for suggesting this show. This is one of my all time favorite mystery show, right up there with Monk and Castle. The show is funny as heck, Shawn and Gus make a great pair of characters, and the mystery's they had were interesting and sweet. It sucks that it's over with, but I loved it still (I'm honestly hoping for either a re boot or a spin off).

Today's question is already posted in the comments, but I'll post it here for those who didn't know about it...

Who do you picture voice acting for Nightshade?

Who do you think would voice the adorable daughter of Bugze the Changeling? Answer now! BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 16: Job Hunting

Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA&list=PL7HrP-m3mikBQd1JYCSA5fwGaE3U4Rbkm&index=3

First things first, write a resume:
Name: Baker Sylvester Tennant
Species: Chan Unicorn (You can't exactly say you're a changeling and since you have a horn, can do magic, and can't fly anyway, you're a "Unicorn" by default)
Residence: Appleloosa (previous), Ponyville
Skils: Video gaming
Knowledge of movies and video games
Patching stuff with duct tape, WD-40, and vise-grips
Sewing
Putting up signs
Can speak very loudly
[DWC can insert more skills that I've forgotten/left out]
Previous Jobs: "Patcher"
Gamer
Sweeper
DeliveryliPONY
Priva
Errands and oddjobs around Appleloosa
Special Needs: Has a condition that requires limbs, back, and lower half of face to be covered and gives pure blue eyes as seen in the accompanying Doctor's Note

You decide that the first thing you should do before you go job hunting is to write a resume. Hopefully if you write a good enough one, the ponies you ask for jobs won't kick you out as soon as you walk in. With that idea in mind, you take out the Doctor's pen and rip some paper out of the notebook. You set the piece of paper down and you begin to write your resume:

Name: Baker Sylvester Tennant (B.S.T for short)

Species: Chan Unicorn

Residence: Appleloosa (previous), Ponyville

Next of Kin: One filly, Nightshade

Skills: Video gaming
Knowledge of movies and video games
Patching stuff with duct tape, WD-40, and vise-grips
Sewing
Putting up signs
Sweeping
Can speak very loudly
Pranking
Limited hoof-to-hoof combat knowledge
Running
Singing Rock

Previous Jobs: "Patcher"
Gamer
Sweeper
DeliverylinPONY
Privat
Errands and oddjobs around Appleloosa
Foal Sitter

Special Needs: Has a condition that requires limbs, back, and lower half of face to be covered and gives pure blue eyes as further explained in the accompanying Doctor's Note
Keep pears away from him, can't stand pears, but will eat bananas or desserts ESPECIALLY Cake.
Vegetarian

You nod your head in satisfaction at your resume before putting it into your overcoat pocket and you climb out of the clubhouse. When you reach the ground you begin your walk to town hall where you hope there's a 'Help Wanted' bulletin board like back in Appleloosa.

Of course, this one will probably have other jobs in it aside from just fixing jobs like back in Appleloosa.

You smile fondly as you remember all the times you had to go to the 'Fix-it' Board in the middle of Appleloosa. You would always find something new to patch everyday... and how it was usually Carrot Top who needed something fixed.

I swear that mare can't go one day without breaking something. It's like she does it on purpose! And I thought I was clumsy...

You laugh at how ridiculous it would be for someling to purposely break something. You continue to go down memory lane as you walk towards town hall...

You head towards town hoping they have some 'Help Wanted' posters.
You see a bulletin board with multiple requests, you see a few interest ones and
take them with you.
However, you feel a sense of dread as you leave town hall
"Its gonna be one of those days isn't it?" you mutter to yourself as you countinue forward.

Nightshade pops up and says
N: Hey Daddy, why don't you get a job fixing stuff like you did back in Appleloosa? (she says while holding your duct tape)
Well if there is one thing you are good at besides causing a mess, it's fixing it. Besides, this town gets wrecked on it's own on an almost daily basis, there's got to be some sort of Fix It group around. Go to the town hall to find out where.
You: Great Idea honey, now get back to your room while we're in public
N: Ahhh, but I'm not tired anymore, I wanna play with my friends (whining)
You: Sigh...not right now honey...
She grumbles and goes back inside as you feel a little guilty.
Night Shade seems to be more and more active since she is popping out of the inventory more often. You should really get her a dress or something to cover up her wings so that the deadly 5 or Luna don't recognize her so she doesn't have to stay in there all the time.
And it does make you happy that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are now her friends. You feel...fatherly pride.
Also, you see a poster showing a sale of costumes for Nightmare Night at a place called Barnyard Bargains. Whoa, Nightmare Night is only in a few days? You smile as you decide to get Nightshade a costume later to make up for making her go back in the satchel.
You: I can't wait to see her all dressed up with her friends.
DFV: Hmph...what does she need friends for when she's got her parents?
You: OK, that's the third time you've claimed motherhood over her, how exactly is that possible? You're a voice in my head, how could we have...you know...?
DFV: You're an idiot...(stops talking)
You: Oh come on...fine be cryptic
Town Hall Receptionist: Umm...excuse me. Are you talking to me?
You: No...(you leave it at that)
She just shrugs and and asks you what you want.

20 MINUTES LATER

As you're walking towards town hall, Nightshade suddenly pops her head out of the Inventory adorably and asks,

"Where are we going Daddy?"

You chuckle at how adorable she looks and say

"Well sweetie, Daddy's going to town hall to get a job. We can't survive on cereal, Granola Bars, and dried fruits forever now can we?"

Nightshade nods her head dumbly and says,

"I guess so Daddy... Hey I know! Why don't you get a job as a job fixing stuff like you did back in Appleloosa?"

You smile at Nightshade as you think,

That's actually not a bad idea. If the Deadly Five live here, then this place must have it's own 24/7 Fix-it crew. Besides, if there's anything I'm good at besides video games, kicking fillyfooler butt, and messing things up, it's fixing things.

You then give a big smile to Nightshade as you say,

"That's a great idea sweetie! Now, do your daddy a favor and go back to your room."

Nightshade puts on her big-eyed pouty face and whines,

"But I'm not tireddddd, and I want to play with my freeeeiiiinnnnndddds!"

You sigh like any parent would when their foal whines, and you say with sympathy,

"I know you do sweetie, but until daddy gets enough time to visit Zecora to get some transformation potions, you're going to have to stay away from the public view until then, so go eat those cherry-changas I promised you, okay?"

Nightshade give a sad sigh before saying in a overly exaggerated tone,

"Finnnnnnn-wait, Cherī - CHANGAS! Subarashī! Okage de papa! Watashi wa anata o aishite!" (CHERRY-CHANGAS! Awesome! Thanks Daddy! I love you!)"

With that she ducked her head back into the Inventory ("0 Cherry-changas" remaining). You sigh in defeat at your daughter's behavior, but can't help but think with fatherly pride,

Even though her new surge of energy is probably gonna get her in trouble, I'm just so proud that she's made friends with the CMC. I know! I'll buy her some clothes for when I sign her up for school! Even though she'll be around *growl* colts... Cherilee was right, Nightshade needs social interaction. I'll sign her up for school after I get a job. Besides, it's Sunday so the schoolhouse is closed today anyway.

With that thought in mind you start to get closer to the town hall, and you notice two posters. One talks about how a sale of costumes for Nightmare Night at a place called "Barnyard Bargains". You look at the poster in surprise as you think,

Whoa! It's gonna be Nightmare Night soon!

Changelings typically love Nightmare Night as it's one of the few times they can openly be changelings without being squished on site. You start to smile as you think,

I know what I need to do. I'll take Nightshade shopping to this "Barnyard Bargains" place and get costumes!

You nod your head at the idea before proceeding to look at the second poster, and well... it looks weird.

"What the hay?"

The only thing the poster says is in big bold letters. It says...

THE NIGHTMARE COMES

Your blink your eyes to see if you're actually reading the poster right, but when you open them the poster is gone!

What in the.. .Where'd that poster go?! What could 'The Nightmare Comes' even mean? Hmmmm, I should tell the Doctor about this later...

With that thought in mind you go back to walking towards the town hall. As you enter the town hall you start talking out loud as you remember the costume sale,

"I can't wait to see her all dressed up with her friends."

Suddenly you hear a dark whisper in your head say,

Hmph... what does she need friends for when she's got her parents?

Your eye twitches in annoyance at the unwelcome voice as you say out loud,

"OK, that's the third time you've claimed motherhood over her, how exactly is that possible? You're a voice in my head, how could we have... you know...?"

You blush red as you mumble off awkwardly. You hear the DFV scoff and say in a sad/superior tone,

You're an idiot...

You wait for her to continue, but when she doesn't you sigh in annoyance and say,

"Oh come on... Fine! Be cryptic! You're even more cryptic than Clockwork from Finny Phantom, you know that?"

You then realize that you've been facing the receptionist the whole time you were arguing with the DFV, so she's now giving you a strange look before asking in a slightly reluctant tone,

"Umm... excuse me. Are you talking to me?"

You chuckle nervously before giving her a blank look and saying

"No..."

And with that you walk awkwardly away from her desk and over to the 'Help Wanted' bulletin board. The receptionist just shrugs her shoulders before going back to her magazine. You sigh in relief that she didn't ask any question and you look over the bulletin board.

"Hmmmm...nope... nope... yes... yes... nope... yes... nope... etc."

You grab all the jobs that interested you, sadly this town doesn't have a Fixing crew, so there goes that idea. So you grab the other jobs, but as you're walking out of town hall, you suddenly get a sense of dread as you feel a chill slither up your spine. You shake it off, but you can't help but say,

"It's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?"

As if on que, the sky suddenly darkens and it begins to pour. You sigh in annoyance as you say.

"It's gonna be a long day..."

And with that, your day begins...

SEVERAL FIRINGS LATER

Why must my life suck so much?

You ask yourself this question for the millionth time that day as you walk aimlessly down a dirt road. You're probably wondering why you're so down in the dumps. Well you see, you got fired... from every signal job you took. Literally.

Every.

Signal.

One.

You start to list off the jobs you got fired from as you walk down the dirt road...

Become a lawyer bent on purifying a flawed legal system. Your first case: in defense of the Hooded Offender!

first you try to be waiter, but maybe because Lady Luck you stumble with another waiter and in a domino effect, you send flying almost every dish and you end fired.
Next you try sending mail, after all if that grey pegasus can, you could do it also, but in the first house, one dog that seems very similar to one of your ex-lackey Diamond Dogs, bite you in the ass and eat all your mail and after you explain this to the boss you are fired.
There is a job in a church, but after you put your hoof there you think something is strange like if you suddenly are in the lair of some dungeon boss. And then you see what you think and hope is a copy of Discord statue, one pony with a tunic and a hood come near you and tell you it's the church of their great god Discord, you try to put sense in him, but he kick you out of the church for blasphemy to his god.
After that you think, maybe a lawyer to defend the offender, but that is something you can ask to your fans so you decide to try something else.
The next job is as Firepony, as you try to put off fire, but the hose is very powerfull and you end knocking out the filly fooler that was flying around there casually and they fired you again.

Work as a janitor in a dentist's office, but get fired after scaring off the patients by (badly) singing "The Dentist Song" from Little Shop of Horrors.

"Lets see, I was fired from dentist office janitor for scaring off the patients by singing "The Dentist Song" from My Little Shop of Horrors. Kicked out of the Firepony Brigade because I accidentally knocked the fillyfooler out of the sky when I tried to use the fire hose to water the plants of those Earth Pony mares I almost crushed. In all honesty, that's actually my favorite firing heh heh..."

You snicker as you remember the shocked look on Rainbow Dash's face before being hydro-blasted into a brick wall. You then continue your listing...

"Lets see, I was also fired from a cult that was worshiping Discord. How they haven't been arrested and put into the dungeon yet is beyond me. I was also fired from being a lawyer because apparently screaming 'OBJECTION' in court is not how that works. And I also apparently need something called a 'law degree."

You stop walking to do hoof quotes before continuing walking down the dirt road,

"I got fired from a fancy restaurant called 'Le Fancy Food' after I caused a domino effect by tripping on the other waiters, which in turn caused a waiter to land on a table, which in turn sent all the other tables flying though the air like leaves, which in turn made the building collapsed because a table slammed into a support beam, which in turn caused all the other ones to fall..."

Strangely enough when you got fired, a pony with a short black mane and tail wearing a black t-shirt with the words 'Jerk' on it patted you on the back and said, "Nice! You took that stupid overpriced place out way better than the way I thought of! Well, that's off my revenge list... Mwahahahah!"

"Yeah... that was strange. At least I was able to stuff a slice of Tiramisu into my mouth on the way out."

You shake your head at that pony's weird laugh as you continue to list off your "jobs",

"Also got sacked from the mail service after I accidentally sent my boss's love letter to his crush... who was a married mare... who's husband is close friends with my boss's mother... yeah, now I know why they call it 'going postal'."

You have a new scar to vouch for you.

"And finally..."

You suddenly go into flashback mode as you remember when you got fired from the Ponyville guards...

Try to join the Town militia, but get kicked out of basic training because you kept emulating the destructive/violent methods and attitudes of loose-cannon enforcers from action flicks like Dirty Marery Canterhan or Maretin Riggs

SOME BASIC TRAINING AGO

""Okay recruits! For today's training exercise, Caramel will pose as a stallion who has locked himself in his own house after his marefriend broke up with him and won't come out. Now proper procedure for-"

"DING DONG MOTHERBUCKER!"

You ignore the captain's lecture as you charge forward and ram into the door shoulder-first knocking it (and you) down. While on the floor, you proceed to roll on the ground and fire off stun spells like Maretin Riggs from "Lethal Armament" until you reach the stairs. You get up and declare,

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"

as you dash up the stairs and down the hall while firing off more stun spells along the way. You finally buck down the door before whirling around and pointing your glowing horn at the "perp" before saying:

"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he cast six spells or only five?' Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a stun spell that can make you all lights out in one shot, you've gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

The "perp" stammers in fear as he nervously says,

"But- I- I wasn't thinking that! I was thinking why is this guy acting like a-"

"Remember when I said I'd kill you last?" you interrupt.

"WHAT?! Nopony said anything about kill-"

"I LIED!" you scream as you tackle the "perp" through the window and you both land on the stack of hay placed outside. As you get back up you look down at the "perp" and say,

"You're a disease, and I'm the-"*KA-BOOM*

The house explodes behind you! It would later be revealed that during your indiscriminate stun spelling, you ruptured the gas pipe and knocked over some matches, but for now you'e startled and knocked down by the explosion. As you get back up you say,

"Oh Luna, I didn't know there would be explosives! I totally messed up my cue to walk away like a badflank as my overcoat billows in the wind! Can I have a redo?"

You turn to the others to see the other 2 recruits looking at you in shock while the Captain glares at you in pure teeth-clenching rage. You look at her in concern for a few moments before you say,

"Ohhhh... Is this the part where you order me to turn in my badge and then I solve the case on my own and get my badge back?"

BACK TO PRESENT

You shake your head in embarrassment as you say,

"Note to self: Action movies are not an accurate representation of real life... Even if my life is like an action flick at times."

Eat "linner" which, considering your supplies and budget, is one of your boxes of Multigrain Cereal (while thinking about how there's a word for "Brunch", but not for "Linner" or "Lupper: or anything like that) before being found by Applebloom who invites you to the farm.

And with that you finally list finish listing off all the times you got fired today. You notice that it's late afternoon so you sit down in the shade of a nearby tree, look both ways to make sure noling is watching, and proceed to take out a box of multigrain cereal ("4 Boxes of Multigrain Cereal Left") before pulling down your face mask to start eating. As you much on your "meal" you think,

Let's see, I can't be a clown; too much make-up and noling trust clowns anymore since those gritty and scary Batmare movies came out. Can't be a Doctor, don't know how to travel through time or use s sonic screwdriver. Can't be a painter, would gain the attention of those guys back in Prance and that would be bad...

You get a brief flashback to being chased down a street by anarchist mimes covered in splashed paint and wielding baguettes while throwing various cheeses at you.

Hey how come there's a word for brunch and not linner? I mean it makes sense-Focus bug. Love doctor... maybe... nah, too cliche. Maybe a teacher... nah one foal's enough. I'll have a heart attack if I have to take care of more then one kid at a time. Plus it'd be awkward for Nightshade to say "Hi, my daddy is the weird pony wearing Doctor Whooves clothes". You know, I bet there's a linner in Manehatten, those ponies are always making up smart words- dang it bug focus!

With that, you pour what's left of the box into your mouth, get up and continue to walk down the dirt road. After awhile you see your destination on the horizon. You sigh to yourself as you see your last chance of being able to support yourself and your daughter financially... and most likely your death as well, for you see the one place that will lead to a painful death...

Lady Luck bucks you over by giving you a stable job as a farmhoof/patcher... At Sweet Apple Acres

There it is... Sweet Apple Acres. Even though I'd probably die screaming there (or at the very least swinging knowing the hick...), I've bucked apples before, farms typically have things that need patching, and with all those apple trees, if a barrel of apples were to disappear into the stomach of a filly with a huge appetite...well that's fine by me. Besides, seeing as how the CMC's clubhouse is technically on their property, I'm gonna be running into them sooner or later anyway...

You take a deep breath as you say,

"Alright... let's get this over with..."

And with that you walk towards the farm...

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGijsAfeik&list=PL7HrP-m3mikBQd1JYCSA5fwGaE3U4Rbkm&index=4

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Tomorrows mission: Get the job no matter what! Good luck men!

Last chapters question answer is...

I still say Jessie Flower, the voice of Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender. Being Bugze's daughter has most likely made her a bit of a tough tomboy, yet still with having a cute voice.

Congrats to Browndog for suggesting this. Being a fellow fan of Avatar: The last Airbender, I have to agree with you on how Nightshade sounds like Toph. I can see her earthbending now...and then accidentally crushing Bugze with a giant rock.

Today's chapter question is...

Whats your favorite song used in this fic?

From "Savages" to "Sick of it", what song that I've used id your favorite one so far...BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 17: Getting The Job And School?!?!

When you walk on the farm, you run into the big red stallion having trouble with a cart. Get on friendly terms with him by using WD-40 to loosen the wheels and he introduces you to Granny Smith.

As you walk down the dirt path towards your doo-I mean Sweet Apple Acres, you see the big red stallion from yesterday (the only stallion that went after that cursed doll) and he looks like he's having trouble with something. As you walk over to see if you can help him, you start to think,

I really need to find out what happen to that demented doll. I mean, I saw it get teleported by Spike's green flame to Celestia, but after that I don't know. Celestia obviously snapped out of it somehow since she wasn't bat-stinking insane when she gave Twilight that "scolding". Ahh whatever, I'll find out later, let's see what Big Red's problem is.

You reach Big Red and see that he's pulling a wagon full of apple barrels with a bit of difficulty. You walk next to him and ask,

"Hey Red, got a problem?"

Big Red nods his head and says,

"Eyup."

You nod your head as you look over the wagon. Not seeing anything wrong with it, you ask,

"Sooooo... what's the problem?"

Big Red unhitches the wagon, walks up to the front wheel and kicks it. Understanding his gesture, you nod your head while saying

"Ah" before smiling and saying,

"Don't worry Big Red, I got just the thing."

He looks at you confused at the nickname, but you don't notice as you begin to dig around The Inventory. You think about one of your cans of WD-40 and pull it out and then proceed to walk over to the wheel and spray it as you say,

"One of the many things my Grandbug-er I mean Grandpony taught me. If it's supposed to move but doesn't, use WD-40."

Big Red nods his head at your advice while saying,

"Eyup."

You stop spraying and give the wheel a light nudge causing it to move more smoothly. You nod your head at your hoofwork and blow on the nozzle of the can before putting it back in the Inventory. Big Red attaches the wagon to his back and nods his head in thanks before he begins to walk towards the farm. As he walks away you think,

Another satisfied custo- Oh... Luna darn it!

You suddenly remember why you even came here in the first place, so you dash after him and when you catch up to him you say,

"Wait! Uh... you see I was actually on my way to the farm your heading to for the job the owners' posted, and I'm guessing you work there. It would be great if you could introduce me to the boss there."

Big Red looks like he's thinking about it, before he nods his head and says,

"Eyup."

You smile and begin to walk with him and as you walk to the farm you can't help but say,

"You don't talk much do you Big Red?"

Big Red nods his head and just says,

"Eyup. Name's Big MacIntosh by the way."

"Baker Sylvester Tennant, but you can call me B.S.T."

This certainly isn't awkward. Nope, not awkward at all...

And with that the short and silent walk to the farm began...

A SHORT WALK LATER

Granny Smith comments on your pure blue eyes which causes you to get defensive until Granny Smith replies that they remind her of an old ex-coltfriend. You then remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! MY EYES!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!!

When you meet Granny Smith she has a reaction you don't quite expect
G: D-Doctor?
You: Umm...
G: Doctor is that you?
You: N-No, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything
G: Oh...(Downcast), sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of someone I used to know (distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up) then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh.
You: heh heh...ya...
In your mind (Holy Crap, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well make a note of it.)

As you and Big Red (yes, he did tell you that his name is Big MacIntosh, but you feel that Big Red sounds better) reach a farm, you see a old-looking green mare who looks like nothing but skin and bones. She has a frizzy white mane and tail, and her cutie mark is a apple pie. You can't help but think,

Please tell me her special talent is making pies. Pleaseeeee...

You snap out of it when you realize that Big Red is pointing her hoof at her. You look at him confused and ask,

"Is she the owner of this farm?"

Big Red nods his head and says,

"Eyup"

You nod your head, say a quick "Thanks" before you walk over to the old pony. As you walk over to her, you start to think,

Okay gotta remember, treat your elders with respect. Don't ever mention bingo around them unless you need them to go away. Uhhh what was the last one... urg what was it... oh yeah! Never look them in the e-why is she staring at me?

Apparently you reached the old pony while you where thinking and she's been staring at you the whole time. You begin to stare back and you're about to slap yourself when she says something... weird.

"D-Doctor?"

Your eyes widen in shock as you look around to see if the TARDIS somehow managed to appear without you knowing. But when you don't see it or the Doctor, you look at the old pony in confusion and say in a awkward tone,

"Umm..."

The old pony doesn't seem to notice your awkward tone as she looks you up and down before saying,

"Doctor, is that you?"

Realizing that she's talking to you, you begin to stutter nervously as you remember that you're wearing some of the Doctor's old cloths. You manage to mumble out nervously,

"N-No ma'am, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I don't know medicine or anything wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."

The old mare looks sad as she says,

"Oh... sorry about that youngun. Some of yer clothes reminded me of somepny I used to know,"

She gets a distant look in her eyes before shaking her head and cheering up saying,

"Then again at my age you can't help but start seeing things. I swore I saw my grandson fighting a horde of mares over a doll yesterday heh heh."

You laugh nervously at the thing that really happened as you say,

"Heh heh... ya..."

The old mare shakes her head as she says,

"Were are my manners, mah name is Granny Smith, but you can call me Smith."

You nod your head, but on the inside of your mind you are really panicking,

Holy Stupid Ducks, she knew the Doctor? Which one though? Well seeing as how Lady Luck and her evil sister fate have lead me here, I might as well send a note to the Doctor about this along with the whole 'The Nightmare Comes' thing later. Right now, I need a job.

Before you can ask Granny Smith about the job, she suddenly says,

"You know youngun, your pure blue eyes remind me of an ex-coltfriend I had so many decades ago. He sure knew how to surprise a mare, and the things that stallion could do with duct tape..."

Granny suddenly starts to giggle like a filly with a blush on her face, while all you can do is think in confusion,

You know, I remember how Grandbuggy used to brag about being quite the playcolt when he was younger with mares of all species, but surely he and the Hick's grandmother didn't-

You suddenly picture something that you wished you never saw, and you have to hold back the strong urge to claw your eyes out as you scream in your mind,

NO! DO NOT WANT! ABORT LEWD THOUGHTS! ABORT- MY EYES, THEY BURN!!! SOMELING GOUGE THEM!!! WHY CRUEL WORLD, WHHHYYYYYY?!!!

Granny Smith looks at your pained and horrified look before saying,

"Uh shucks, I'll never understand youngun these days. Now did y'all need somthing?"

Shaking the now forever burned vision from your mind (for now), you ask Granny Smith,

"Actually, I'm here for the job you posted in town hall."

Granny Smith looks confused for a second, before realizing something and saying,

"Oh, you mean the job my granddaughter put up. Well ya'll just need to talk to her, she's just over yonder."

She points behind you, and you turn around to see...

The hick bucking apples.

Buck....

You sigh in defeat, say thank you, and begin to walk over to Applejack...

You walk up to the farmhouse, and spot bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up and talk to her.
"Ahem, hello there. I umm... here you're in need of some help around here?" you say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment.
"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position. These acres of ours have kept expandin' over the years, and we just can keep up." she explains "We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.
"Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvest... here's my resume!" you shove the piece of paper in her face.
She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically . You really hope she doesn't see through you again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, you can feel yourself sweating bullets already. She's staring right at you, why is she staring right at you? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to you? Oh crud, she's totally on to you! Make a break for it bug she's gonna-
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you "Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, Big Mac will fill you in on what to do. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that."
"C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks.

You walk over to bane-of-your-every-waking-moment #4, otherwise known as Applejack. You feel you're severely going to regret doing this, but you also have no other choice. After you swallow the lump in your throat, you finally manage to walk up to her and say,

"Ahem, hello there... I, umm... here for the job you posted in the... town hall?"

You say nervously, ready to make a run for it at any moment. Applejack gives you a big smile as she says,

"Sure do. Y'all must be here for the position of farmhoof. We're sure are glad y'all are here to help mister... what's yer name again?" she leans in, eyeing you intently.

"Oh umm, me?" You're getting nervous the way she's staring at you "I- I'm B- Baker S- Sylvester T-Tennant... here's my resume!"

You take the piece of paper out of your coat pocket and shove it in her face. She takes it and looks over it carefully, looking back up at you periodically with a questing look. As she continues to do this, you begin to freak out and think,

I REALLY hope she doesn't see through my disguise again, and gosh it's getting hot out here, I can feel myself sweating bullets already! She's staring right at me, why is she staring right at me? Why isn't she saying anything? Is she on to me!? Oh crud, she's totally on to me! Make a break for it bug she's gonna get ya! Get to the chopa-

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mister Baker Sylvester Tennant!" she says, although you can barely make it out through the earthquake-tier hoofshake she's giving you,

"Just head on out to the east side of the orchard, and start bucking the apple trees until you either fill 29 buckets or you reach the end of the acre. And if y'all see that lazy pegasus Rainbow Dash nappin' in our trees, tell her she's got clouds for that."

Your still shaking, so you start to say the first thing that comes to your head,

"C-c-c-combo breake- I mean, can do ma'am." you say as you recover from the aftershocks of that hoofshake. You stop shaking after awhile and turn around to go to the field when...

Get a job has a farmhoof which pays [DWC inserts salary here], but includes lodging as they give you an old shed (the CMC need the clubhouse) and three free apples a day.
-The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.

When Applejack reads your resume, she mentions how her cousin Braeburn knew another Patcher in Appleloosa named Bugze and asks if you know either of them.

"Hey, Mister Tennant!"

You turn back to Applejack, worried that she might know your secret, but instead she gives you a kind smile and says,

"I almost forgot. You get paid 20 bits a day, but you and your daughter can stay in our old shed and you get 2 free apples a day. Your job, if ya'll forgotten already, is to buck apples and patch up anything around the farm. You get holidays off and you gotta be here as soon as you drop off or pick up your daughter at school, alright!"

You nod your head and yell back "Okay!"

Your about to go to work when Applejack asks,

"Hey, Mister Tennant. My cousin Braeburn is best friends with a patcher back in Appaloosa named Bugze. You know him?"

You smile at Applejack and say,

"Yeah! He's my cousin. Patching runs in the family, so he got a job up in Appleloosa, while I got a job here. In fact I think my cousin El Hunko is a patcher in Canterlot."

You may sound calm, but you were actually mentally panicking at a mile a minute,

Holy mother of the moon, I can't believe I just thought up a cover for all my disguise just then! Thank Luna that I can just use the cousin excuse for now on. And I thought I told Braeburn to never tell Applejack about me! Ohh hes gonna get it when I send him my next mail...

While you were thinking, you don't hear Applejack mumble,

"A whole family of patchers, that'll be mighty helpful for the next family reunion."

She then nods her head and says to you,

"Ya'll get to work ya hear! Me and Granny are gonna get your shed prepared!"

You salute her and say,

"Yes ma'am!"

And with that your work day starts...

SEVERAL HOURS OF WORK LATER

When nopony is looking, experiment to see what happens when you Falcon Punch or Shoryuken an apple tree and compare if it's more or less effective than just plain bucking the trees

This has got to be the fifth-hundredth time someling has managed to corner me. If I survive this, I am sooooo gonna learn how to dodge and block from the Kung-Fu for Dummies book. Cause I am seriously getting tired of being cornered by these ponies.

Did Bugze ever do this?
AJ witnesses your training montage and is quite impressed with it. She's a rodeo pony you know, (which you do, because she tells you all about it) and asks if there's any help you need. She spots the Kung Fu for Dummies book before you can stop her and sees the chapter on dodging. Unfortunately, she decides to help you with that, if you want to or not.
You shake in fear after she leaves, and turn around to continue your training. You suddenly hear "DODGE!!!" and turn around in time to get bucked in the face. AJ shakes her head and promises that you'll learn.
You struggle to your feet after she leaves again. At least your mask stayed-
"DODGE!!!"
You turn and an apple slams into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree. "You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"

After bucking apples for some time, you managed to fill all 29 buckets and then some (you counted at least 40). Now you're practicing out your moves since no one's looking. You opened the Kung-Fu for Dummies book to the dodging chapter, and right now you're practicing dodging, Falcon Punch, dodging, Shoryuken, dodging, and so on. Your dodging and basic punching skills have gotten slightly better and you're about to Shoryuken a tree, when you hear something you really don't want to hear...

"Not bad."

You stop mid-punch which unfortunately causes you to flop face-first into the grace. You then start to panic, but you calm down as you think,

Calm down bug! If she knew she would have attacked you, and considering you're still standing, just stay calm!

You look up to see Applejack giggling as she walks over to you with an impressed look in her eyes and says,

"Them's some pretty fancy moves, Mister Tennant, but it's all just power and luck. Luckily for you, I'ma gonna help train ya."

The next thing you know, Applejack is suddenly wearing a red hoody, blue swish pants, and is eating a chocolate bar. She then says

"Lets get ta work!"

You can't help but think in dread,

Luna help me...

since sweet apple acres is HUGE there's Probably something you can find to help you train. That being said you gotta train with out the DFV you woulda lost for sure so i suggest *ahem* EPIC TRAINING MONTAGE

...Accompanied by this music.

This plays in the background as you start to train under Applejack's coaching,

First she has you run around apple tress while apples are being thrown at you.

Then she has you do push ups... with a barrel on your back... and then weights on your neck... Yeah, you're gonna be sore in the morning.

Next she has you do jumping jacks while dodging rotten eggs,

Finally, she has you dodge her attacks while she repeatedly shouts "DODGE!" You hurt all over and let's just leave it at that. You shake in exhaustion after she leaves and turn around to call it a day when you suddenly hear,

"DODGE!!!"

You turn around in time to get a buck to the face. AJ shakes her head and says,

"You shouldn't turn your back on an opponent sugarcube. By the way, since your shift's done and it's sundown, why don't ya come in and eat supper with us? We have soup, biscuits, Apple Crisp..."

You jump up as soon as she said Apple Crisp and say,

"I'm good, gimme the Crisp!"

Applejack giggles at your outburst while... blushing?

Nah I'm seeing things, that hick can't blush... Well maybe she needs to be around the fillyfooler first...

Applejack says bye as you go to retrieve your hat. You can't help but feel the place where she punched you and think,

At least my mask stayed-

"DODGE!!!"

You turn and an apple splats into your face. Apple Bloom looks out from behind a tree and says,

"You gotta be faster than that, Mister!"

You grumble something along the lines of

"You're real lucky there's a whole bunch of reasons I can't stay made at you..."

Before you go to eat...

When it gets dark to signal the end of the work day, eat supper with the Apples. When they ask where's your daughter, you reply that she's asleep and try to leave it at that. When the topic of the Hooded Offender comes up, all four of the Apples are unsurprisingly anti-H.O.

As you're eating with the Apples (your taste buds are melting at how good their Apple Crisps are. You hold open your face mask in a way so you can just drop each spoonful in without anypony seeing your Changeling lower face), they ask you questions about where you used to live and what kind of job you had before coming here and stuff like that. The conversation suddenly turned to the Ponyville Schoolhouse which causes Applejack to ask,

"Hey Mister Tennant, where's your daughter?"

Apple Bloom is about to respond, but you quickly blurt out,

"My daughter is... sleeping at the shed! Yeah, she requires quite a bit of sleep. Trust me, when you see her appetite, you'll be glad she sleeps so much."

In an attempt to steer the conversation away from your daughter you quickly add,

"So... Any of you heard of this 'Hooded Offender' guy everylin- PONY is yakking about?"

"Nope..." Big MacIntosh growls as you notice the table starting to crack at where he has his hooves at.

"That Hooligan needs a spanking for what he's done to my granddaughters!" Granny Smith declares,

Applebloom looks down with a conflicted look on her face as Applejack (unsurprisingly) says,

"I'm gonna hang that varmint myself!"

Needless to say, your death here just increased from "Likely" to "Most defiantly."

-The shed is small with torn curtains and the Apple family provided you with a large washtub (for bathing and laundry) and a spare cot, but since you have the Inventory for storage, it'll do as you fix up the shed with your sewing and patching tools.

After that (mostly) lovely supper you decide to go to your new home. You see it's a small shed and inside the Apples have provided you with a big washtub, a lantern, and a spare cot with some torn curtains. After some quick patching, you decided to hit the hay. You decided to keep your clothes on since now there's the chance of getting caught. As you lay on the bed, you write to the
Doctor...

Report #2
Yo Doc!
First of all I met one of your old companions. Well I think I did. Her name's Granny Smith, she's a nice old mare. I'm actually working on her farm now.
Also, something weird happened. I saw this poster that said "The Nightmare Comes". But when I blinked, it vanished! I hope you can investigate this... Night

ON THE TARDIS

Doctor: Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites
Derpy: Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head
Doctor: What...(blushing) no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See (Pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera
Derpy: aaannnddd...yup, that image is now stuck in my head, thanks for that (walks away)
Doctor: Oh come on!

"Ah yes, Ms. Smith, she was always one of my favorites." the Doctor says in reminiscence.

"Wait, Granny Smith was one of your companions? Oh please tell me you didn't do anything with her, because I'll never get that image out of my head." Derpy says,

"What... no no, nothing like that, we were just friends. See?"

The Doctor quickly pulls out photo of a different incarnation with Granny Smith in her prime wrapping her hooves around his neck and facing the camera. Derpy blinks blanky before saying,

"Yup, that image is now stuck in my head. I have to go check on Dinky now."

With that, she walks away causing the Doctor to say,

"Wait, Derpy!"

The Doctor runs after Derpy, not noticing the part about the 'The Nightmare Comes' pop up on the psychic paper. Until it's too late, as it vanishes...

BACK WITH YOU

With that done, you lie down on the cot and go to sleep... and you have a very weird dream...

Through certain circumstances find yourself weilding a fire spell running in Sweet apple acres screaming: RAZE THIS BARN!
or ya know... It could be a dream sequence

I also second at least one instance of 'Raze' this barn.

I third the motion for a "Raze this barn" moment.

Raze this barn song: I picture Bugze taking a makeshift flamethrower (that his grandbuggy taught him to make) and flaming the barn while singing!
Raze this barn, raze this barn, one two three four. Together we can raze this barn, one two three four.
Come on up, young and old. Together burn it bright and bold.

DREAM WORLD

You suddenly dream that you're laughing like a maniac and you start to use a flamethrower on... the Apple's farm! Suddenly this starts to play, but more demonic and a bit warped. You then start sing evilly...

"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Absolutely, I will raze this farm!
One, two, three, four"

You start to throw Molotov's that you didn't even know you had like a flowerfilly at a wedding as you continue to sing...

"Up, up, up, go the flames
Blow up those joints, break the frames
Burn 'em round now till they're filled with woe
Grab a new fuel tank, here we go!"

The Apple family that you know of all scream,

"NOOOO!"

"Come on, Apple family! Let's put it out! NOW!!!!" The hick shouts as they then try to put out the flames, but nothing works. You continue to light up the place as you continue,

"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Absolutely, I will raze this farm!
One, two, three, four"

You then use Psycho Crusher to break down some support beams while somehow continuing to sing,

"Feeding the flames, burning all the wood
Smashing stuff. I'm doin' good!
Laughing as the fillyfooler hick cries
As her home burns to the skies!"

Applejack then charges at you in angry tears while shouting,

"Die ya bucking varmint!"

You quickly whirl around and blast her point blank in the face with a rocket launcher, sending her flying into a shack and causing it to explode in a fireball,

"Raze this farm, raze this farm!
One, two, three, four
Come on up, young and old.
Together burn it bright and bold."

You reload the rocket launcher and continue to fire it causing more destruction,

"Slats of wood fall to the ground
Set 'em up and blow 'em down!
Got that barn in my cross-hairs, you know
Let loose the rocket, watch it glow!"

You fire a rocket at the barn which causes it to explode in a fireball, and all the apple family again shout,

"NOOOO!"

Applebloom, Big Red, and Granny Smith say one after the other,

"What have you done!

Look at this, our home is gone."

"All thanks to that no-good moron."

"I just don't know what to say."

They the all say at the same time

"We have no home now anyway."

You then duct tape the rocket launcher to the flamethrower and are about to fire it at the remaining Apples as you sing,

"Reload my weapons, strafe to the right
Get the targets in your sights
Blasting back and all around
That farm's gonna burn right to the groun-"

REAL WORLD

The Apples convince you to let Nightshade go to school so when you wake up the next day you go to "Barnyard Bargins" on your lunch break and buy school supplies (pencils and notebook folder) and even a purple vest for Nightshade so she can hide her wings (seeing how Barnyard Bargins is the mlp equivalent of Wal-Mart, the prices are cheap but the employees are constantly grumbling about the low pay and lack of benefits. Makes you glad you didn't apply there)

"AHHHHH!"

You wake up just before the song ends breathing heavily and the only thing you can say is,

"Is it just me, or is that time I was set on fire and went insane and chased everyling might have made a lasting effect on me..."

You shake your head as you check the time to see that it's almost time for Nightshade to go to school... and you realize you haven't bought any school supplies yet! You start to panic as you say,

"Oh Luna! I need to get to Barnyard Bargins!"

With that you jump out of bed,

"GAH!"

And fall flat on your face from muscle soreness from all that work and training the day before.

"And maybe some cherry juice for my aching muscles..." you mutter.

AN HOUR LATER OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL

You smile with fatherly pride as Nightshade starts to walk towards the school doors with her new purple vest covering her wings (there was a sale on school supplies, but you had to spend the 20 bits you earned yesterday and gave some to Nightshade so now you're down to 40 bits). She looks back over to you and waves while shouting,

"Bye Daddy!"

You smile and wave back as you say

"Bye Sweetie!"

With that you walk back to Sweet Apple Acres to get to work.

POV change: Nightshade!

This is it, my first day at school! I can do this! I'm gonna make my daddy proud! But first...

Nightshade quickly looks in her new saddlebag,

Nightshade's Saddlebag Inventory:
-2 Apples
-1 Jar of Peanut Butter
-2 Boxes of Whole Wheat crackers
-1 Bottle of water
-Notebook folder
-4 Pencils
-5 Bits

Seeing that everything is in order, she opens the door to her first day of school.

What does Nightshade do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

Introducing the first ever Nightshade chapter! That's right folks, you get to decide what Nightshade does on her first day of school. Here are some guidelines for next chapter:

-Bugze must NOT show up in the chapter at all until the end of the chapter or arc when he picks her up from school.
-Remember, Nightshade is Bugze's daughter so she's bound to take after his cursing, references, and pranking.
-Nightshade has lived in Appleloosa for most of her life so she's only seen silent/black-and-white films (with the exception of an anime marathon and when Bugze took her to a Stallion Tarantino film) and has never played a video game yet. Keep that in mind when writing her references.

I've been wanting to do this for awhile, so please make good suggestions!

Yesterdays chapter answer is...

I'll vote for Sick of It as the best song, too. It made a great scene, and I've listened to it a few times after reading it.

Congrats to Minds Eye for suggesting this, the first person to suggest this was Kersey. I have to agree with this because I had alot of fun writing this scene with the help of Kersey of course, who helped make most of it.

Today's question is...

Who do you think Grandbuggys voice actor would be?

He's never been seen in this fic, but hes been mentioned enough to be a character of his own. So who do you think this crz=azy bugs voice actor is? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 18: Koko demo nani... Soshite ferō Neighponese supīkā o iu! (Say What Again...And A Fellow Neighponese Speaker!)

Nightshade enters the classroom filled with multiple students. Some are idly chatting with one another or getting out their supplies for class. She sees the teacher, Mrs.Cheerilee, at her desk looking over what must be the lesson plan for today. She decides to talk with her first.

OK Night Shade, this day is going to be wonderful, but first, you have to have to go through the mental checklist your dad gave you.
1. Don't out your daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling
2. No talking about the shenanigans you've both been through
3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher
4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own
5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!! (You wonder why he growled that last one in anger)
6. Have fun.

As Nightshade walks into the schoolhouse, she begins to list off all the things her daddy told her just before he dropped her off,

Let's see, what did Daddy tell me again... oh yeah!
1. Don't out Daddy as the Hooded Offender or a Changeling... I wonder why though, he's really nice, and he's my super nice awesome Daddy!
2. No talking about the super cool adventures we've both been through, but I really wished I could tell my fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders...
3. Be nice and respectful to the teacher.
4. Don't eat anypony's lunch but your own *whine*
5. STAY AWAY FROM COLTS!!!... I wonder why though?

Nightshade sees Miss Cheerliee and walks over to her,

Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her. "Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome Nightshade!"
Nightshade smiles and waves. The CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one.
Diamond Tiara scoffs. "With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME."
Cheerilee stamps a hoof. "Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this. I will not tolerate-"
"Excuse me," Nightshade says, "what did she do?"
"She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-"
"That wasn't an insult." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara. "Was it, you little **** licking &$#%? You look like bubblegum, but I bet you're the one that likes to !@#$."
The class gasps. Cheerilee is horrified. "Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!"
"But I was just teaching her what an insult was."
"Never again, young lady!"
"But I have so many more!"

Nightshade stands in the front of the classroom as Ms. Cheerilee introduces her,

"Good morning, my little ponies! We have a new student today, and she's just moved her from Appleloosa. Please welcome
Nightshade!"

Nightshade smiles and waves, the CMC whoop and cheer, and the rest of the class claps politely. Except one.

"With that vest, it's more like... NightSHAME." Diamond Tiara scoffs.

Cheerilee stamps a hoof and reprimands,

"Diamond Tiara, we've gone over this several times! I will not tolerate-"

"Excuse me," Nightshade interrupts, "what did she do?"

Cheerilee replies in concern,

"She... um, Nightshade, she just insulted you. It's a bad habit of hers, and-"

"That's what it was? That wasn't an insult..." Nightshade grins at Diamond Tiara before continuing, "Was it, you little bullspit-licking motherbucker? Now shut that c*** mouth of yours or I'll come over there and buckstart your head!"

The class gasps in shock and Diamond looks like a Hydra just roared in her face as Cheerilee is horrified.

"Nightshade! We don't say those things in school!"

"But I was just teaching her what an insult was!"

"Never again, young lady!"

"But I have so many more!"

"Enough! To your seat, now!" Cheerille commands, pointing a hoof sternly at your desk.

You find your three friends Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, and they take you through the basics. Basically what your dad said, except the no colts thing, even they don't understand that one, and they add a new one. Watch out for two fillies named Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Apparently they're mean.

Remembering #3 of what her daddy told her, Nightshade grumbles under her breath as she makes her way to the desk, but cheers up when she sees that she's seated next to Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.

Score! Nightshade thinks as the CMC look happy at this placement as well. While Miss Cheerilee briefly reviews something from last week, Nightshade (figuring that since she wasn't there yet, it doesn't apply to her) leans over and whispers,

"Hey. Who was that foal?"

Applebloom whispers back,

"That thar is Diamond Tiara. She's a spoiled brat who's father owns Barnyard Bargins and the gray filly next to her is Silver Spoon, her friend. They keep making fun of us for not having Cutie Marks."

"Those motherbuckers-"

"Oh, and ya'll may want to cool it on the swearing." Applebloom quickly interrupts "Sweetie Belle said that her sister washed her mouth out with soap before grounding her with no dessert for a week!"

"NO DESSERT FOR A WEEK?! THAT'S TERRIBLE!!!" Nightshade screams, grabbing the attention of everypony in the room.

"Is there anything else you want to say, Nightshade? And without swearing?" Cheerilee asks in annoyance.

"Uh... Nothing Miss Cheerilee" Nightshade says sheepishly before Cheerilee...

Once you've been introduced to the class, and scolded for trying to help a pony learn insults, Cheeriliee points you to your desk; it's right next to your new friends the Crusaders! Score! They're quite happy about this as well as you take your seat next to them. Then you notice the teacher grab some papers from her desk, and how everypony else gets nervous as she does.
"Alright class, time for a quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs, and the whole class groans, some letting their heads flop to their desks.
"Man, ah hate these stupid things." you hear Apple Bloom complain from your right as a piece of paper gets passed to you, a mess off numbers and marks all over the front.
"Alright kids, we have about twenty minutes to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee moves behind her desk and starts grading papers.
You pull out a pencil and look at your paper... and look at it... and keep staring, but darn it it's not making any kind of sense! But you don't want to fall behind, so you raise your hoof in the air; that's what you do when you have a question, it's what your daddy told you. But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one students homework. Looking around you see Scootaloo on your left, lazily looking out a window. You prod her with a hoof.
"Huh? What's up Nightshade?" she snaps out of her daydream.
"What's this thingy mean?" you point at the thought defying obstacle on your paper.
"That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together."
Eureka! It suddenly so clear to you! With your newfound knowledge of addition you quickly blaze through the first four questions.
But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Prodding your guide once again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz, you point to the new conundrum and pray for her to aid you.
"That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to add in letters next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly.
You stare at her in horror at this news. "Is it time for lunch yet?" You ask hopefully.
Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was."

Grabs some papers from her desk which causes everypony else in the room to get nervous,

"Alright class, time for a math quiz!" Cheeriliee sing-songs which induces groans from the whole class, some letting their heads flop to their desks.

"Man, ah hate these stupid things." Apple Bloom complains as paper get passed to everypony in the room. Nightshade looks at her paper to see... a mess of numbers and marks all over the front.

"Alright kids, you have the usual amount of time to finish, good luck!" Cheeriliee says before moving behind her desk to starts grading papers.

Nightshade pulls out a pencil and looks at her paper... and looks at it... and keeps staring, but darn, it's still not making any kind of sense! Not wanting to fall behind, Nightshade raises her hoof in the air as she looks around alertly.

Daddy said that if I have a question, I should raise my hoof... but watch out for spitballs, thrown textbooks, or stabbing attempts.

But the teacher doesn't notice as she face-hoofs over one student's homework. Looking around Nightshade sees Scootaloo lazily looking out a window. Nightshade prods Scootaloo with her hoof, snapping the orange Pegasus out of her daydream as she whispers,

"Huh? What's up Nightshade?"

"What's this thingy mean?" Nightshade asks as she points at the thought-defying obstacle on her paper.

"That's a plus sign, it means add the two numbers together." Scootaloo responds

Eureka! It suddenly so clear! With Nightshade's newfound knowledge of addition she quickly blazes through the first four questions.

But wait... What in the flying Tartarus is that?! Nightshade asks while prodding Scootaloo again as she finally starts to look at her own quiz. Nightshade points to the new conundrum and prays for Scootaloo to aid her.

"That's a multiplication sign. You take one of the numbers and increase it by itself the number of times as the second number." she explains "It's really hard. And we're supposed to learn fractions next year! Why did anypony think that was a good idea?" she adds glumly.

Nightshade stares at her in horror at this news.

"Is it time for lunch yet?" She asks hopefully.

Scootaloo just turns away and mumbles "I wish it was Shady, I wish it was..."

ONE QUIZ LATER

[insert comedic scenario here] + [insert slowmotion scene of awsome here] x [insert conflict here] + [insert tragedy here] + time = comment.
Wait, thats the formula of a Michael Bay movie.... Screw it have her write "comedy= tragedy + time" when cheer-i-dunno-how-to-spell-her-name ask for an example of a mathmatical formula.

Cheerilee goes over basic subjects like math and shapes, but given that Nightshade was home-schooled by Bugze (who we've already established as not that bright), she doesn't do too well...

"Alright class, pencils down."

Quite a few students (especially Nightshade who barely manages to stop herself from exclaiming "Buck!") groan before she continues.

"Now can somepony give me an example of a formula?"

Nightshade's hoof shoots straight up as she excitedly says,

"Oh, oh, I know! Talented actors - emotion + pretentious writing + cheap last minute twist x extremely slow pacing = terrible movie!"

"Um... Nightshade, that's not an actual mathematical formula."

"Really? Daddy always says that that's the formula for all of M Night Shymalamadingdong's movies."

Nightshade's comment causes the class to break out in laughter (even Miss Cheerilee tries to hold back her laughter as she comments, "So true..."), but before Cheerilee could respond, the bell rings for recess/lunch and everypony runs out of the Schoolhouse while putting their quizzes on Cheerilee's desk on the way out. Because Nightshade was the last one out, her quiz was on top of the stack,

"Let's see how well B.S. did on her daughter's home-school-"

Her jaw drops when she sees Nightshade's "work" and she worriedly says,

"Oh dear..."

At recess, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail (Rumble) flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares himself king of the playground.
There's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all to busy fighting and knocking each other off. Nightshade is the only one to make it to the top.
"Not bad," Rumble says, impressed with her skills. "But there only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!"
Nightshade winks at him. "My daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!" She launches forward in a fiery blaze, and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into Rumble and knocks him off the top. He flaps his wings and recovers just before he hits the ground.
Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below, even from Rumble. She rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreading her front hooves to her sides. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

As Nightshade walks out into the playground, a gray pegasus colt with a black mane and tail flies to the top of the jungle gym and declares,

"I'M THE KING OF THE PLAYGROUND!!!"

Suddenly, there's a mad scramble of colts and fillies that charge up to dethrone him, but they're all too busy fighting and knocking each other off. Using parkour skills learned by watching her father, Nightshade climbs, swings, and maneuvers around the the other foals and lands near the top of the gym with a flip.

"Not bad," The pegasus colt says, impressed with her skills. "But there's only room for one up top, and I'm faster than you are!"

Nightshade smirks at him and says,

"Well my daddy's a great fighter, and I've picked up a few things watching him. I even modified one of his moves. FALCON KICK!"
With that, she launches forward in a fiery blaze and covers the distance in an instant. Her hoof slams into the colt's chest and knocks him off the top, sending him tumbling before he manages to flap his wings and recover at the last minute before hitting the ground. Nightshade soaks in the "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd below (even from the pegasus colt) as she rears up and balances on her hind legs, spreads her front hooves to her sides, and declares,

"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

MEANWHILE AT SWEET APPLE ACRES

You're in the middle of Falcon Punching an apple tree when you hear a dark whisper,

I feel motherly pride for some reason...

"Why do you keep thinking that you-"*THWACK* "Owwwww."

Unfortunately, the DFV distracted you long enough for a branch of the apple tree to fall on your head.

BACK TO THE PLAYGROUND

After some more cheering from the class Nightshade hears Scootaloo cheer,

"That. Was. Awesome!"

"Do you want to eat lunch with us?" Sweetie Belle asks.

Nightshade's eyes light up at the words "eat" and "lunch" and jumps off the jungle gym (accidentally landing on a gold-coated unicorn colt with aquamarine hair) before zipping over to the table where her friends are at.

At lunch, you eat all of your food supplies and are still hungry, but you promised daddy you wouldn't eat anyone else's (sigh)
Also, you and the CMC have an awesome conversation.
Applebloom: So Night Shade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night?
You: What's Nightmare Night?
The CMC's Jaws' drop at that
Sweetie Belle: How do you not know what Nightmare Night is?
Scootaloo: It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve
You: Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess
Applebloom: Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight
They all nod at that
You: So....what exactly is it?
Scootaloo: We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy! (excitedly)
You: (Your eyes dilate) Free...Candy!
Sweetie Belle: Yup, and we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves!
Applebloom: And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games
You: Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?!
Applebloom: I don't know, but now that you do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear
Sweetie Belle: Ya, my sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later
Applebloom: Ya, we want to do a group costume this year, you included.
Scootaloo: I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts
Applebloom: You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us
You: Heh heh, ya...(you shift your vest slightly)
Scootaloo: Fine...You got any idea Night Shade?
You: Hmm...Can it be anything?
Sweetie: mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary
You: Scary huh?
The only scary movies you ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Yeesh that place needs to get with the times. Yet there were some gems in there.
You : Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters?
Sweetie: Ooo, the classics.
Scootaloo: That's not a bad idea
Applebloom: Great Idea Night Shade
You smile as they start to call out
Applebloom: I call Bride of Manekenstein!Sweetie: I want to be DraculaScootaloo: Dibs on the Wolf Pony
Night Shade: Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun
You all bump hooves and yell
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!

Nightshade takes out her lunch from her saddlebag before proceeding to wolf down the apples, spit out the cores, tear open the boxes of crackers, and rapidly dip the crackers in the peanut butter before machine-gun shoving them into her mouth. The CMC notice this and comment,

"Woah..."

"Holy mother of awesome..."

"Sweet Apples..."

"What...? (*chugs down water bottle in one go*) It's just a light lunch."

I'm still hungry, but I promised Daddy I wouldn't eat anypony's lunch. *Sigh*

Before Nightshade could dwell on her predicament, Applebloom asks,

"So Nightshade, what ya gonna be for Nightmare Night?"

"What's Nightmare Night?"

The CMC's jaws drop at that and Sweetie Belle says,

"How do you not know what Nightmare Night is?"

"It's only like, the greatest day ever besides Hearth's Warming Eve!" Scootaloo adds,

"Oh, well we don't have it in Appleloosa I guess."

"Well that's a shame, my cousin's town needs to get their priorities straight." Applebloom says as she and the other two CMC nod their heads at that

"So... what exactly is it?" Nightshade asks causing Scootallo to excitedly respond,

"We all dress up in costumes and go door to door and get free candy!"

Nightshade's eyes dilate as she says, "Muryō... Kyandi!"

Nightshade's eyes go back to normal when she notices the odd looks the CMC are giving her and she says,

"Oh, it's Neighponese for 'free candy'."

"Ohhhhhhh." The CMC all say in understanding.

"As we were saying," Sweetie Belle continues "we also can play pranks and scare others or get scared ourselves!"

"And then we get to go to the fair at night and play all kinds of games." Applebloom says,

"Dear Sweet Luna, why have I gone my whole life without knowing this?!" Nightshade says

"I don't know, but now that ya do know, we gotta try and figure out what we're gonna wear."

"Yeah! My sister is going to make us some costumes, and she kind of wants to know now sooner than later."

"Ya, we wan'ta do a group costume this year, you included."

"I keep telling you guys, we should go as WonderBolts!"

"You're the only one with wings Scootaloo, it wouldn't work for us." Applebloom retorts causing Nightshade to chuckle nervously as she slightly shifts her vest.

"Fine... You got any idea Nightshade?" Scootaloo asks her.

"Hmm...Can it be anything?"

"Mmhmm, anything you want, from harmless to scary." Sweetie Belle says,

"Scary huh?"

The only scary movies Nightshade ever got to see were old black and white ones at Appleloosa, the classics as they call them here. Bugze would frequently complain that "this place needs to hurry up and get with the gorram times", yet there were some gems in there...

"Why don't we go as the Universal Monsters?" Nightshade suggests,

"Ooo, the classics."

"That's not a bad idea."

"Great Idea Nightshade!"

Nightshade blushes and smiles at the compliments as they start to call out,

Applebloom: "I call Bride of Manekenstein!"

Sweetie: "I want to be Dracula!"

Scootaloo: "Dibs on the Wolf Mare!"

"Then I'll be a Mummy! This is gonna be so fun!" Nightshade says,

The fillies all bump hooves and yell,

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS UNIVERSAL MONSTERS YAY!!!"

"Awww... Isn't that just adorably pathetic."

Hangs out with CMC and pranks Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon after they pick on the CMC.
Time to quote/paraphrase Coltablanca: “Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…”
Or Tarantino:
-"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"
-"I'm curious, what makes you such a [] expert?"
Nightshade: "I'm curious what makes you so curious."
-Nightshade: "DumbflankSayWhat?"
Tiara: "What?"
Nightshade: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in "What"!?
Tiara: "What?"
Nightshade: Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!?
Tiara: "Wha-what I—?
Nightshade: "Say "what" again! SAY "what" again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say "what" one more gorram time!

She has to do the "Say what again" skit. That would be so awesome

All four fillies turn to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling arrogantly,

“Of all the playgrounds, in all the schools, in all the world, they walk into ours…” Nightshade mutters.

"Well well well, if it isn't the Blankflank patrol" Diamond Tiara taunts

"Yeah, and it looks like they have a new member" Silver Spoon adds in

"Oh yes, the Vest wearing tragedy"

"Heh, don't you know that vest went out last season?"

"It's actually one of my old worthless vests. It even still has that tear from where my Sugar Glider nibbled on it."

"Yeah. And it's still nowhere near as dirty as her mouth."

"Your daddy should wash your tongue out with-"

"DumbflankSayWhat?" Nightshade quickly says,

"What?" Diamond Tiara reflexively asks,

"'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak Equestrian in 'What'!?"

"What?" Silver Spoon asks,

"Equestrian, motherbucker! Do you speak it!?" Nightshade says as she closes in on the two spoiled brats.

"Wha-what I-?" Diamond and Silver both stammer before Nightshade interrupts them,

"Say 'what' again! SAY 'what' again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherbucker! Say 'what' one more gorram time!" Nightshade declares, now right in their faces.

"I..I mean...You can't... but"
"You... but... that's not... why..."

Both fillies both turn around and run away in embarrassment before the CMC say one after another,

"That."
"Was."
"AWESOME!"

They all high-hoof Nightshade.

*RING*

But the bell signaling the end of break goes off causing everpony to go back to class. On the way back to class...

During recess/lunchtime, accidentally bump into a brown colt with a caramel mane who seems to be wearing a propeller cap. Then proceed to converse with said colt in Neighponese (who, surprisingly, is fluent in the language himself). Despite the looks you're both getting from the uninformed fillies and colts around you, you and the colt calling himself 'Button' discuss the finer points of video games, film and popular culture.

Establish a relation with the one they call 'Button' through the language of Anime.

Nightshade should be careful not to let her wings be shown. That, and she totally gets off on the wrong hoof with Diamond Tiara and puts a pinecone on her chair as payback.

Nightshade bumps into a caramel-maned earth pony colt wearing a red and white beanie with a green propeller who says,

"Excuse me. Kon'nichiwa watashinonamaeha botan no masshudesu" (Excuse me. Hi my name is Button Mash)

"Sugoi hakuryoku! Anata mo Neighponese o hanasu?!" (Woah! You speak Neighponese too?!)

Nightshade and Button Mash continue to converse in Neighponese as they walk back to their seats,

"Un! Watashi wa ken ātoonrain no taba o mite kara mananda." (Yep! I learned from watching alot of anime and playing a bunch of NRPGs.)

"Hontōni? Watashi wa, kono zonbi no yōna anime no komedi o mitekara mananda? Soshite watashi no hanayome wa māmeidodesu" (Really? I learned from watching anime comedies like Is This a Zombie? and My Bride Is a Mermaid.)

"Hahaha! Watashi wa koko de, ano shīn, kare o oboete iru..." (Hahaha! I remember that one scene where he...)

The rest of the class look at Nightshade and Button Mash in mixtures of confusion and amazement as they continue to converse in Neighponese. Cheerlie is impressed some more from there so long conversion in a different language and gives them extra credit. Diamond complains and ends up sitting on a pine-cone that was conveniently in her seat. Nightshade looks away innocently, but Diamond just gives her the stink eye.

BACK ON THE FARM

Bugzy is sitting on the porch after his intense work... Granny Smith and him are sitting on the porch. You say "ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name I might know... My family being a bunch of fixers after all" he adds quickly.
"His name was Quick fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket.
'That was Grand Buggy's code name... so there's no douting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. He starts to turn green... "Yeah... I knew him..."
"Really? What happened to him." She looks... happy?
"To be honest I haven't seen him after the fail- the attack on Canterlot."
"Oh..." She says sadly
"You sound sad..." He says worriedly.
"It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..."
His eyes widen... "I didn't know..."
"He just went into the everfree and never came out... I though he was dead..."
"..."

Granny Smith mentions that Grandbuggy and his Bowler hat just disappeared one day and comments that she must have went on a really hard Apple Pie a la mode binge as she gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it till 11 months later...

You're currently sitting on the porch patching Granny Smith's rocking chair as she knits nearby. You say,
"Ssssoooooo this colt friend, what was his name and what did he look like? I might know... My family being a bunch of patchers after all" you add quickly.
"His name was Quick Fix." She says calmly knitting a blanket. "He was an Earth Pony with a mustache, a bowler hat, and a duct tape Cutie Mark on flanks you can bounce a hoof full of bits off of of it. He also always walked around wearing a black leather jacket."

That was one of Grandbuggy's code names and I can't remember ever seeing him without his bowler hat... so there's no doubting it... my Grandbuggy taped that. You start to turn green before you force it down and manage to say,

"Yeah... I knew him..."

"Really? What happened to him?!" Granny Smith asks him excitedly,

"To be honest, I haven't seen him in a long time..."

"Oh..." She says sadly

"You sound sad..." You say worriedly.

"It just... he and I were gonna get married a long time ago..."

Your eyes widen... "I didn't know..."

"He just went into the everfree one day and never came out... I though he was dead..."

"..."

"I musta went on a hard apple ice cream binge cause I gained a whole lotta weight and didn't lose it til 11 months later..."

You both sit there in silence for some time. Finally, you got up and made yout way over to hug Granny Smith who returns the hug. When you break the hug you ask,

"Did we just bond?"

"Yeah... and if you tell my grandkids I got all upset over some runaway colt-friend i'll skin ya alive!"

"Don't worry, you have my word!"

A soft smile fell onto her face and she said,

"Good now GIT you should pick up your daughter."

You smile as you walk towards the schoolhouse and think,

Eleven months? Isn't that how long a mare is pregnant for? And when a changeling impregnates or even gets impregnated by a non-changeling, then by the Hive laws he or she would need to retrieve the baby using either a memory spell or more... extreme witness-removing measures...

You gulp as you remember the horror stories changelings told regarding half-changeling babies as you continue,

Wait... If my mother was Grandbuggy's only child, and if he impregnated Granny Smith before snatching the foal, then that means... I'm part Earth Pony!

You stop in shock at this revelation, but after a few moments of rebooting, you continue on,

Well, being part-Earth Pony would explain my orange mane and my higher-than-average durability. But, if Granny Smith is my grandmother, then that would mean Applejack is my... cuzzzzz...

When that realization hits you like a sledgehammer to the nuts, you run all the way to your daughter's school saying,

"Nope... nope... nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! NOPENOPENOPENOPENOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!!"

END OF THE SCHOOL DAY

When Bugze picks up Nightshade, Cheerilee complains about Nightshade's language, behavior, and poor schoolwork, but you accuse her of being prejudiced against Appleloosans and then bail while the schoolteacher is stammering defensively. As you leave, comment to Nightshade that you were never exactly a model student yourself.

When you reach the schoolhouse, Nightshade spots you and excitedly yells, "DADDY!" before running straight into your chest. Miss Cheerilee then comes up to you and asks,

"Uh, mister Tennant?"

"Yes?"

"You see there's a problem..."

"Oh no... Please tell me I don't need to sign any documents stating that I need to keep Nightshade a mile away from somepony."

Cheerilee gives a weird look as she says,

"No...that's not it."

"Oh Luna, did she set somepony on fire? Please tell me it was at least the fillyfooler!"

"Calm down Mr. Tennant! You see, Nightshade's basic math skills are... less than stellar and she said some very... detailed, as she called them, insults."

"We talking bodily insults or emotional insults?"

"Both"

"Oh um... LOOK A FIGHT IN THE PLAYGROUND!" you shout as you point a hoof behind Cheerilee.

When she turns around, you grab Nightshade and run. When you're both far enough away, you both start to walk home as
Nightshade tells you about her day. She tells you about her difficulty with "quizzes" ("Don't worry sweetie. I was never exactly a model student myself"), how she cursed out the bullies ("That's my girl"), Falcon Kicking a pegasus colt to become "Queen of the Playground" ("Nice move, I might need you to teach me that one day, but you should find out that colt's name and apologize to him. As a famous super said "With great power comes great responsibility".), meeting Button Mash, ("I would like to meet this colt some day...*snap* you know, to get to know him better..."), and the CMC's plans for Nightmare Night,

"Awww, that'll be adorable, I need buy a camera just so I can take a picture of it. Maybe I should go as a Big Daddy from Bioshock... Nah, probably cost to much. I"ll probably go as the Hooded Offender."

"But Daddy, you are the-"

"Shhhh, that's our secret, honey."

When Bugze picks up Nightshade, she comments that you really need a bath. You both run into a hippie Earth Pony who frequently puts "like" into every other sentence and looks stoned off his flank selling all-natural cosmetic supplies and you see that one of their products is "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak". Ignoring your grandbuggy's advice to "Slap/maim hippies on sight", you and Nightshade find the bath soak smells heavenly and it's only 4 bits a bottle (bubble bath soap at Barnyard Bargins was 12 bits a bottle) so you buy three.
-Reference to the My Little Pony Micro-Series Issue #3 comic

"*sniff* Daddy, you stink."

"Oh, I don''t smell that ba- *sniff* Whoa!"

Considering that you've haven't had a bath since Appleloosa, you've spent most of your time doing alot of fighting and running, and the fact that you're performing hours of manual labor outside in heavy clothing, you worked up quite a bit of stink. Coincidentally, you both come across an orange-yellow hippie Earth Pony who looks stoned off his flank selling selling all-natural cosmetic supplies. You get another grandbuggy flashback,

Now *&^@, if you ever you see a Hippie, SLAP THAT LAZY BUM ON SIGHT AND KEEP SLAPPING TILL HE GETS A HAIRCUT AND A REAL JOB!!! Now could you get me a shovel? I hear drum circles...

Deciding to ignore your Grandbuggy's advice this time, you look over his products and see that the "Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak" is only 4 bits a jar (a bottle of bubble bath costs 12 bits a bottle at Barnyard Bargins), so you buy three.

3 Jars of 'Goops for Stuff: Milk and Honey Bath Soak' added to The Inventory

When you arrive back at the farm, you manage to convince Nightshade to go to bed in the Inventory (you owe her 5 Cherry-changas this time...) before getting back to work. After a supper of soup and biscuits with the Apples, you go back to your shed, take a bath in the washtub with your new bath soak (the bath is heaven and one bath only uses up 1/6 of a jar), and hit the hay.

THE NEXT DAY

*CLANG CLANG CLANG*

"Rise and Shine Mister Tennant! It's cider season!" Applejack shouts as she bangs pots together,

You dive out of the bed and scream,

"AHHHH! LunaBucker9001 IS USING THE 'ALICORN STRIKE' KILLSTREAK! SACRIFICE THE NOOBS BEFOR..."

After looking around and realizing that you aren't playing one of the Battlefield: Call of Honor video games, you calm down and say sheepishly,

"Um... I mean I'll be ready soon!"

"What ever you say Sugarcu-Ah mean Mister Tennant." Applejack says before leaving with what you swore was a slight blush on her face. You look at the door questionably, but shrug as you think,

Wait... what's Cider Season?

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

If ya couldn't guess, Saturdays chapter happens in the "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000" episode. Now I know this one is skipping a bunch of episodes, but don't worry, This fics timeline is just outta whack, so episodes that seemed to be skipped (cough Luna Eclipsed cough) could still be used.

Last chapters question answer is

I think grandbuggy could sound better as the "Uncle" of Jackie Chan Adventures

Congrats to Kichi for suggesting it. I have to agree with him/her on this, Grandbuggy is just that old grandpa who is awesome and kicks butt.

Today's question is

Who is the best OC so far in this fic?

Between Bugze the Changeling to the infamous Grandbuggy, who is the best OC in this story? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 19: Cider Season (Part 1)

As the door closes you begin to contemplate hings. If Granny Smith your grandmother and Applejack is your cousin, then that information could be useful in the future, life saving probably. You also realized something shocking, frightening even. Where are all the other changeling? Sure there might be fewer roaming around in equestria after the invasion, but still you would've ran into someling by now. You decide that worrying about that now would ruin your day. They're fine....probably.

Fortunately, that bath from last night was absolutely invigorating

As Applejack leaves, you begin to contemplate things in your shed,

If Granny Smith is my grandmother, and Applejack is my cousin, then I could possibly use that info some day. Wait a minute...

You then get a sudden realization,

Where are all the other changelings? Sure, there may be fewer of us now thanks to the failed invasion, but with how often the Queen used to send us on missions, you think I would've ran into someling by now... Eh, they're fine... Probably... Maybe... Ah who am I kidding? With the way my ex-queen has been leading lately I'm surprised she hasn't blown up the-wait... Grandbuggy already blew that up...

With a shake of your head you walk out of the shed towards the house. Normally, you'd be groggy and sleepy at such an early hour, but that bath from last night was just so positively invigorating that you feel ready to seize the day. You spot Applejack waiting for you by the door...

As you awake, you go to the kitchen to take a little food when suddenly you hear a explotion. Both you and Applejack run to the kitchen just to find smoke and in the middle of the kitchen, Nightshade and Apple Bloom
"IM sorry daddy, I was thinking in making you a little of juice with the help of Apple Bloom, but suddenly it exploded"
You look to Nightshade and Applejack look to Apple Bloom
"Are you both okay? What exactly happened?" Ask Applejack to Apple Bloom
"I don't know, It was like the incident with Sweetie Belle but worst" Say Apple Bloom
You look to both sisters confused
"Some unicorns have strange magic around them, and... long story short, is best that they don't try to cook" Explain Apple Bloom
"It's only that they don't know to cook sugarcube, not too much" Say Applejack
"But it's true... just think about that... Nightshade is a unicorn and Sweetie Belle is also a unicorn" Commented Apple Bloom
"Well... Now that you say it... I never see Twilight cooking, from what I hear, almost everything is done by Spike"
"So... Is she treating the dragon like a slave?"
You can imagine the image of the poor little dragon, being forced to work by the evil unicorn but it dissappear as Applejack begin to talk
"what? No! She treat him well, like a mother or a big sister" Comment Applejack
"Are you sure? I mean... How much you see about them? Who knows how she could treat him" Say Bugzee
"Well... No... But... I never suspect of one of my best friend, let's talk about other thing" Say Applejack
And then the conversation begin to change to gossip about the lavender unicorn, and you force yourself to stay awake to see if maybe you win some info about the leader of the Evil Five

*BOOM*

"What the-!"

"Woah nelly!"

You both feel and hear an explosion from the kitchen. After getting over the initial shock, both you and Applejack run to the kitchen just to find smoke and in the middle of the kitchen, Nightshade and Apple Bloom. You look at your daughter in surprise and say,

"Nightshade! What are you doing out of bed!"

"I'm sorry daddy. I was trying to make you a little juice with the help of Apple Bloom, but suddenly it exploded!"

You look to Nightshade as Applejack looks at Apple Bloom and asks

"Y'all both okay? What exactly happened?"

"I don't know, It was like the incident with Sweetie Belle, but worse!" replies Apple Bloom.

You look to both sisters in confusion. Apple Bloom notices your confused look and explains,

"Some unicorns have strange magic around them, and... long story short, it's best that they don't try to cook."

"That's just a stereotype, sugarcube."

"But it's true, just think about that... Nightshade is a unicorn and Sweetie Belle is also a unicorn." Comments Apple Bloom as you and Nightshade lightly chuckle nervously.

"Well... Now that ya say it... I ain't never seen Twilight cooking, from what I hear, almost everything is done by Spike" Applejack contemplates.

"So... Is she treating the dragon like a slave?" you comment.

You suddenly imagine the image of the poor little dragon, being forced to work by the evil unicorn but it disappears as Applejack begin to talk,

"What? No! She treats him real well, like a mother or a big sister!"

"Are you sure? I mean... How often do you see them? Who knows how she treats him behind closed doors..." you accuse
"Well... No... But... She's one of my best friends..."

She shakes her head clear of those doubts and says,

"Look, ya'll just go eat breakfast. Granny Smith and Big Mac already ate so they could set up the cider stand and me and Apple Bloom were waiting for you, before I decided to come over and wake ya."

Deciding to heed her advice, you, Nightshade, and the sisters go to the dining room table which had a big stack of apple pancakes and a pitcher of milk. Nightshade's eyes light up upon seeing the food and jumps onto the table before devouring the whole stack and chugs down the whole pitcher of milk. You facehoof as the Apple sisters stare blankly before Applejack says...

"I'm... Gonna git the leftover apple pie and apple juice from last supper..."

As she walks back into the kitchen, you give Nightshade a stern glare and scold,

"I think that's enough breakfast for you young lady."

Nightshade lowers her head in shame as Applejack comes back with 3/4 of a pie and a pitcher of apple juice. As you, Applejack, and Apple Bloom eat breakfast while Nightshade sits in a corner (you put her in time out), you ask,

Ask Applejack what Cider Season is and she explains it's when they sell their beloved cider and that good sales this year are very important as the cider sales will keep the farm afloat through the winter. When you ask about the sales of other Apple products, AJ replies that they put most of their efforts into the Grand Galloping Gala and we all know how that turned out (you cringe in guilt at that)
-(Sweet Apple Acres cider is a non-alcoholic beverage that was always your "Special Occasion Drink" back in Appleloosa)

Applejack also mentions that somepony left a package for you and hoofs it over. You open the package to see another note accompanied by the 4th Doctor's scarf so you happily put it on around your lower face and comment that all you need now is a sonic screwdriver, but you decide to improvise by starting to use your vise-grips as if it were a sonic screwdriver:
"We need to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before the Cyperponies steal all the Fantastic jelly babies! Allons-y!"
You snap out of it when you realize that Applejack is still there when she giggles at your nerdy display

"Hey Applejack, what is Cider Season?"

"It's when we sell our famous 'Sweet Apple Acres Cider' to all our neighbors."

Your mouth begins to water at that as you remember that not only is SAA Cider non-acholic, but it was always your "special occasion" beverage back in Appleloosa as Applejack continues,

"Cider sales are gonna keep our business afloat through the winter. We'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if the sales ain't coming through."

"Wait, what about all that cider you export and all those Apple products you sell throughout Equestria?"

"You have to remember sugarc- er, Mister Tennant, the Apple family is BIG and our kin supplies apple products to most of Equestria. We put most of our efforts into selling at the Grand Galloping Gala, but y'all what happened thar..." She says in an angry tone at that last part causing you to cringe in guilt.

"Oh that reminds me! Mister Tennant you got a package from a 'Friend'?" she says as she takes out a package and puts it in front of you. You look at the package with a confused look, and you carefully open the package as you think,

Please don't be a bomb, please don't be a bomb, please don't be a bomb...

You open it and begin to fan bug over what you see,

"Holy mother of Luna...."

Apple Bloom looks at you confused and asks,

"What is it?"

"It's the... it's the... it's the 4th Doctor's motherbucking scarf! The motherbucking scarf! Not a replica or a knock off, the actual motherbucking scarf. Oh I"m gonna- Huh?"

You stop fan-bugging over the scarf when you notice a Scarlet envelop in the package. You pick it up nervously, open it carefully, and begin to read,

Dear B.S Tennant,

You. Are. A. Bucking. Idiot.
Let me get this straight.
You gave up a life of peace to pay off a debt.
Battled a god of chaos and almost died because of it.
And now you're LIVING WITH THE ENEMY!
How dumb can you possibly be!
Ugh, whatever, get killed, not like I care... much.
Fine! Here's the 4th's scarf, don't ask me where I got it, just take it.
You better use it well, and remember.
I will always be watching you, and saving your sorry butt.
Cause you sure as Tartarus can't.

From,
A Friend

Your eye twitches in annoyance as you think,

Great, now she... he... it... whatever, is back as well. I swear to Luna if Lighting Chaser pops up this week...

You quickly shove the letter into the Inventory before anyone can see it and put on the scarf before thinking,

Luna, the 10th's coat, the 7th's hat, the 6th's pants (okay... it may not be as cool as the others, but still), and now the 4th's scarf! If only I had a sonic screwdriver then this look would be complete, I would be all like-

You then jump out of your seat and take the vise-grips out of the Inventory before swinging it around like a sonic screwdriver,

"Allons-y! We need to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow before the Cyperponies steal all the Fantastic jelly babies! Geronim-!"

You snap out of it when you hear giggling and see the two fillies and one mare giggling at your nerdy display. You blush and put away the vise-grips in embarrassment before Applejack manages to stop giggling and says,

"Alright y'all, let's get ta work!"

As you and the Apple sisters leave the dining room (you made Nightshade clear the table), you think...

The world has it out for you. And yet, things are going well. Lady Luck must be scheming something along with Lady Fate and Mistress Karma. If the shock of a species built for lying somehow got born into a family that prides itself in honesty and the inevitable backlash from the wall of lies made to hide that fact doesn't reek of their handy work, then you don't know who!
What's definitely certain in your life is that they'll make it slow and painful, and then make the killer Applejack for the sweet irony.

Huh... Normally the world has it out for me, but things are going really well... Which can only mean that Lady Luck must be scheming something along with Lady Fate and Mistress Karma. If the shock of a species built for lying somehow got born into a family that prides itself in honesty and the inevitable backlash from the wall of lies made to hide that fact doesn't reek of their handy work, then I don't know who! The only thing I know for certain is that whatever they have planned, it's gonna be slow and painfu-*trip*

Your thoughts are interrupted when you trip on your long new scarf and as you get back up you suddenly notice...

You realize why you're so tired, the sun isn't even out yet.
You: Why are we up so early? Solar Flanks hasn't even done her job yet
AJ: Well we gotta get set up right fast, the lines already a mile long
You: Line?
She points outside to the east and see a line of ponies in the early dark. There even appears to be a a number of tents, with a pink one in the front.
You: Whoa, how did I miss that yesterday?
AJ: I don't know, you ran right by them yesterday when you went to pick up your daughter
Flashback to Yesterday
You run past countless ponies sitting in chairs in front of tents
Pinkie: Hey mister, you come to join the "Wait for Cider Season Camping Party?"
You: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! SHE CAN'T BE MY BLOOD!!!! CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU DOCTOR, I BET YOU KNEW!!! AND CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGERY!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!
As you run away, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs
Pinkie: Ah, another poor soul gone mad because the wait for cider was too much.
Present
You: Heh heh...ya....
AJ: Well anyway, get a move on, we don't want to be late, this here is an Apple Family Tradition, even if you ain't kin that is
You: So far as you know (mumble)
AJ: What?
You: What?
AJ: Sorry, thought you said something sugarcube
As you walk with her, you can't help but feel weird since you both share a Grandmother so your own family has been trying to kill you this whole time.

That the sun isn't even out yet.

"Why are we up so early? Solar Flanks hasn't even done her job yet." you complain causing Applejack to respond,

"Well we gotta get set up right fast, the line's already a mile long."

"Line?"

She points outside to the east and you follow her hoof to see a line of ponies in the early dark. There even appears to be a a number of tents with a pink one in the front.

"Whoa, how did I miss that yesterday?"

"I dunno, you ran right by them yesterday when you went to pick up your daughter."

FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY

You run past countless ponies sitting in chairs in front of tents,

"Hey mister, you come to join the "Wait for Cider Season Camping Party?" Pinkie Pie cheerfully asks, but you ignore her and run past while ranting to yourself,

"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! SHE CAN'T BE MY BLOOD!!!! CURSE YOU LADY LUCK! CURSE YOU DOCTOR, I BET YOU KNEW!!! AND CURSE YOU GRANDBUGGERY!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!"

As you run away, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs,

"Ah, another poor soul gone mad because the wait for cider was too much."

BACK TO NOW

"Heh heh... ya..."

"Well anyway, get a move on, we don't want to be late, this here is an Apple Family Tradition, even if you ain't kin that is." she says as the four of you (Nightshade caught up with you) continue to walk towards the entrance of the farm.

"So far as you know..." you mutter.

"What?"

"What?"

"Sorry, thought ya said something sugarcube."

As you walk with her, you can't help but feel weird since you both share a Grandmother so essentially your own family has been trying to kill you this whole time (then again, being with your own kind wasn't exactly a picnic either with the constant bullying and teasing). When you get to the entrance you finally notice...

you get to work helping Big MacIntosh move the barrels of cider to a booth by the entrance of the farm and duct taping any leaks in the barrels. You see Applebloom there and ask her why she isn't at school and she replies that since she works for the Apple family and Miss Cheerilee really likes the cider, she gets the day off on cider season and you think that may apply to Nightshade as well.

You help roll the barrels to the front of the line as NightShade helps Applebloom at the tap. Even you admit that's cute now that you know they are cousins.

Apple Bloom is still with you all.

"Applebloom? Why the bu-I mean, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" you ask her

"Huh? Oh no Mister Tennant. Since it's Cider season, I'm allowed to stay home to help out. Plus, between you and me, Miss. Cherilee only does it because she really likes our cider."

Huh, is that so.... wonder if that counts for Nightshade too... Ah might as well, she can hang out with Applebloom.

With that, you go over to the pyramid of barrels that big red is setting up and start duct-taping any leaks in the barrels until Applejack picks up a megaphone... and it doesn't work. She fiddles with it for a few moments before she asks you,

"Hey Mister Tennant, y'all can 'speak really loud', right?"

"I can." You say as you use WD-40 to lubricate the gears on the cider-making treadmill.

"Well come over here and use them loud speaking skills to tell everypony that cider season has started."

You walk over to the booth and prepare your "Royal Canterlot Voice" before shouting,

"ATTENTION, EVERYPONY!!! CIDER SEASON IS NOW OFFICIALLY OPEN!"

This is met with cheers from the ponies as you get to work helping to roll barrels to the front of the line while Nightshade helps Applebloom at the tap.

Awww... That's so adorable since they're cousins... Wait, if Granny Smith is my grandmother, Apple Bloom is her granddaughter, and Nightshade is my daughter, then that means Apple Bloom is Nightshade's auntie!

You shake away that thought before deciding to go help Big Red...

The Apples are a well-oiled machine when it comes to cider season, even with the whole town waiting for their mug, and there isn't much for a patcher to do but pitch in where you can.
You try to help Big Red move the cider barrels until he shouts "DODGE!" The combination of him using a normal word and the terror of what's coming makes you freeze... and nothing happens. He chuckles at his joke, and you go help Apple Bloom at the serving station.
You're first customer just happens to be Miss Cheerilee. "Good morning Mr. Tennant!" Her eyes burn a hole into your soul, yet her sweet smile roots you to the spot. "We didn't finish our conversation yesterday."
"Er, uh, um, I..." Sweet merciful Hive, this is what you sent Nightshade to? No wonder Twilight is so crazy! She spent her whole life in classrooms!
You shout, "Cider!" and toss a mug at her. She catches it, but the distraction is enough for you to run away again.
The mug collides with the back of your head, and you tumble head over hooves.
"Now, now, Mr. Tennant, did you think I don't know how to deal with flying objects? I'm a school teacher! I've seen more paper airplanes than... oh, who needs jokes? We have important matters to discuss."
You roll over to your back. Apple Bloom looks down at you in disappointment. "You really need to learn-"
"WORKING ON IT!"
Cheerilee stands over you. "Getting back on track, are you aware that your daughter believes 17 plus 12 equals 42?"
"About that-"
"And that she thinks 9 multiplied by 3 equals 42?"
"She-"
"Or that the square root of 16 is 42?"
You chuckle. "I taught her well."
Cheerilee is not amused. She leers down, inches away from your face. "I expect more from her, Mr. Tennant. And you." She smiles again. "Have a nice day!"

You meet Rainbow Dash and found out about her "alcoholism". Plus, you get to chat a few words with ALL of your previous employers. Of course, you were sheepish.

You try to help Big Red move a cider barrel until he suddenly shouts,

"DODGE!"

The combination of him using a normal word and the terror of what's coming makes you freeze... and nothing happens. He chuckles at his joke, before saying,

"Sorry, couldn't resist. I got things covered here. Why don't ya go keep an eye on the fillies at the serving station."

You decide to heed his advice and walk over to the booth where Apple Bloom (Nightshade hopped back into the Inventory to nap) is... and the mare now standing there is Miss Cherilee

"Good morning Mr. Tennant!" Her eyes burn a hole into your soul, yet her sweet smile roots you to the spot. "We didn't finish our conversation yesterday."

"Er, uh, um, I..."

Sweet Merciful Hive, this is what I sent Nightshade to? No wonder the bookworm is so crazy! She spent her whole life in classrooms!

"Cider!" you suddenly blurt out as you toss a mug at her. She catches it, but the distraction is enough for you to run away again...

*whack*

At least until the mug collides with the back of your head and sends you tumbling head over hooves.

"Now, now, Mr. Tennant, did you think I don't know how to deal with flying objects? I'm a school teacher! I've seen more paper airplanes than... oh, who needs jokes? We have important matters to discuss."

You roll over to your back as Apple Bloom looks down at you in disappointment as she serves another mug of cider to a pony.

"You really need to learn-"

"WORKING ON IT!"

Suddenly, Cherilee stands over you,

"Getting back on track, are you aware that your daughter believes 17 plus 12 equals 1712?"

"About that-"

"And that she thinks 9 multiplied by 3 equals 42?"

"She-"

"Or that the square root of 16 is boysenberry pie?"

"I taught her well." You chuckle, but Cherilee is far from amused.

She leers down, inches away from your face.

"I expect more from her, Mr. Tennant... And you." She suddenly smiles again. "Have a nice day!" Then she walks away.

"Happy to disappoint you too." you snark as you get back up before vindictively thinking,

Note to self: Tell Nightshade she can forget "School Guideline #3"... as long as she doesn't get caught.

You meet Rainbow Dash and found out about her "alcoholism". Plus, you get to chat a few words with ALL of your previous employers. Of course, you were sheepish.

You witness the fillyfooler complaining that she never gets to have any cider because of the pink one. You smile evily as you intend for her to not receive the golden deliciousness, whatever the cost.
When AJ tells the crowd they ran out, you take delight in seeing Rainbow tormented.
DFV: Yes, relish in her anguish. Never let her be satisfied...
You: Aaaannnddd you just made it creepy, way to go Baby Momma
DFV: What did you just call me?
You just laugh at her outburst.

Your next customer is, sadly, the fillyfooler. She looks like she hasn't slept in days as she says,

"*Yawnnnn* Okay new guy, I'll take 23 mugs now, and 85 to go."

You only stare at her in shock as you say,

"Uhhhh, why do you need that many cider? Got a party coming up or something?"

"Nah, just stocking up till next season."

You're about to give her the order, but then think mischievously,

Oh... revenge time fillyfooler! Let's see how long you can last without your precious cider...

"Hey, you know there's a secret stash of cider over in the Apple field a few miles that way." You lie as you point in a random direction.

"Really! Thanks man!" she says before she zooms off to the "stash".

"Take that fillyfooler!"

Yes, relish in her anguish. Never let her be satisfied...

"Aaaannnddd you just made it creepy, way to go Baby Momma."

What did you just call me?

You break out in laughter at her outburst causing the nearby ponies to look at you strangely. You chuckle nervously and scream,

"NEXT!"

The next orders go smoothly with nothing out of the ordinary happening. Although when you met your ex-Fire chief...

"Here you go Minster Washer, sorry about the hose disaster."

He chuckles and says,

"Don't worry son, it wasn't your fa-"

Suddenly his eyes glaze over, he stiffens, and he suddenly says in a robotic tone,

"The Nightmare Comes."

You look at him in confusion and ask,

"Uh...what?"

Mister Washer suddenly snaps out of it and looks around at the weird looks the nearby ponies are giving him before sheepishly walking away. You look at him in confusion and think,

Okay... The Doctor needs to know about this soon.

Shaking your head, you shout,

"NEXT!

You find yourself helping out with the cider sales, and things are going pretty well all things considered. Unfortunately, at the rate customers are coming, and counting the number of barrels left, there won't be enough for everypony in line.
Sure enough, the last barrel spits out its last few drops and there must be at least half of Ponyville still in line.
"Sorry everypony, that's it for today." Applejack informs the crowd, to which they immediately begin complaining about how this same thing happens every year. Rainbow Dash is especially intent on giving her marefriend friend (and just a friend) an earful.
While Applejack explains that it takes time to make their cider the right way, and everypony argues that she's overused that excuse, a thought comes to mind.
"If this happens every year, and they know about how many customers they'll have, why don't they start making it early? That way they have more cider to sell and don't have to worry about a shortage."
You decide to ask Granny Smith about it, but she simply tells you "We've made our cider the same way for as long as I can remember. 's just no way to make it any faster, or any way to stop it from spoilin'."
But as she finishes telling you this, you soon find out that fate intends to prove her wrong, and it's armed with two con-stallions and their wacky contraption to do it.

SEVERAL MUGS OF CIDER LATER

You find things are going pretty well all things considered. Unfortunately, at the rate customers are coming and counting the number of barrels left, you realize that there won't be enough for everypony in line and sure enough, the last barrel spits out its last few drops and there must be at least half of Ponyville still in line.

"Heh. Sorry, everypony! That's it for today!" Applejack informs the crowd, to which they immediately begin complaining about how this same thing happens every year. While Applejack explains that it takes time to make their cider the right way and everypony argues that she's overused that excuse, a question comes to mind so you go over to Grandma- I mean Granny Smith and ask,

"If this happens every year, and you know about how many customers you'll have, why don't we start making it early? That way you can have more cider to sell and don't have to worry about a shortage."

She simply replies, "We've made our cider the same way for as long as I can remembers. Just no way to make it any faster, or any way to stop it from spoilin'."

But as she finishes telling you this, you hear,

"YOU OVERDRESSED LYING JERK!!!"

You turn in horror and see the fillyfooler flying at you with intent to clobber when...

Coming over the horizon, accompanied by a sound of honking, squeaking and hissing of valves, two unicorns with bacon hair introduce themselves in song as the Flim Flam brothers. And the contraption they ride upon is called the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.
They claim that they can make all the cider the ponies could drink, to which the crowd is extremely pleased, especially Rainbow Dash.
However, the Apple family is not convinced. And that's reasonable, seeing as how it's the Cider Squeezy 6000 and not the Cider Squeezy 9001 (over 9000!), and furthermore, these Flim Flam brothers seem to have a distinct lack of Oompah-Loompah workers, nor even their cousin species, the Drinka-Linkas.

You all hear mechanical noises over the horizon. The entire crowd turns and sees a big contraption rolling in with two bacon-haired unicorns in matching outfits riding on it.

"What in Equestria is that?" Applejack asks,

Suddenly, the unicorns launch into a song that introduces themselves as the Flim Flam brothers and boasts that their machine, the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 can produce more than enough cider for the whole town. However, the Apple family is not convinced by the song.

Understandable you think It's only a 6000 instead of a 9001 and these guys don't even have any Oompah-Loompah workers or even their cousin species, the Drinka-Linkas.

Suddenly, you get another grandbuggy flashback,

When the Flim Flam brother start singing their pitch song, you remember Grandbuggy telling you never to trust anyling that sells you something with a song and mentions being conned out of his bits by some hucksters in Vanhoover (he mentions getting back at them by stealing their quality hoof-rolled Zebran cigars and replacing them with exploding sausages and chuckles at the memory as he takes one out to light it... but you snatch it out of his hooves as you were trying to get Grandbuggy to quit smoking).

Out of nowhere, a bout of neo-Luddism (read: philosophy opposing modern technology) washes over you and at some point, you have a strong urge to break the Flim-Flam Bros new-fangled machine, despite the fact that pretty much anything you did for entertainment involved some sort of machine. You justify this course of action by reasoning that the FlimFlam Bros apple harvesting machine is part of the 'Skynet' uprising from the Termarenator series.

"Now $&#*, There are two things you gotta know in life. First is that you should never EVER trust anyling that tries to sell you something with a catchy jingle. Lost all my bits in Vanhoover once due to some smooth-singing hucksters that way... Fortunately, I got back at them by stealing their bronze box of quality hoof-rolled Zebran cigars."

Grandbuggy chuckles at the memory as he takes a cigar out of nowhere, but you grab it from his hooves and say,

"Grandbuggy! You're supposed to be trying to quit that habit!"

"Oh right.. Now what was I saying... Oh right, never trust machines! They're evil, the whole lot of them!"

"But Grandbuggy video games are machin-!"

"Shhhhh. Don't speak that word!"

When the flashback ends you sarcastically think,

Thanks grandbuggy, now I have the sudden urge to break, smash, and or blow up that machine as it burns in sweet sweet flamy goodness as the sparks flu off in great heat... Yeah I have a problem... I BLAME SOCIETY... I ALSO BLAME THAT THIS MACHINE IS APART OF THE SKYNET UPRISING FROM THE TERMARENATOR SERIES... YEAH THAT WORKS! But there's something else off about these guys...

These guys have some sort of sway to them, but what? You look to their stylish hats once more and think about giving your money to an obvious pyramid scheme.
You: AHA! IT'S THEIR HATS! DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THEM BEFORE THEY GET ALL OUR BITS!!!
DFV: You are an imbecile you know that?
You rush up and during the musical number and swipe both hats off their heads before stomping them in and setting them on fire. They and the whole crowd are flabbergasted by what you just did.
Applebloom: Now what'd you go and do that for?
You: Their hats are evil I tell you, EVIL...EVIL!!!!
Everyone just stares at you funny, behind you you hear
Flim: Curses, how could he have known about the manipulator hats?
Flam: I don't know brother of mine, let's go with plan B
Flim: Lying and Smooth Talking?
Flam: Bingo
They keep trying to talk the apples into a shady deal, but they refuse. After Big Mac says Nope, you add in your own Two Bits
You: EEEVVVIIIILLLL!!!!
Flim: Alright fine, but you haven't seen the last of us
Flam: And we're billing you for those hats
You: YOU'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!!! (You start throwing empty barrels like Donkey Kong as they run off)
Everyone disperses for the day, even as you scream Evil to the skies, to the point where AJ has to put you in a choke hold to calm you down, doing so causes her to blush again.
You: Why does she keep doing that?
DFV: Because she's attracted to you you idiot (she growls that one, almost as if she's jealous)
You: What? Nah that can't be... can it?
DFV: Fraid so
You: Oh dear Luna, the mare who has tried to kill me since day one, who I now find out is my cousin is also crushing on me?
Your head spins with that thought
You: What the heck is this, the Jockey Springer Show?!

Eventually you reilize that there actually stealing you apples.
So you do what any sensible person would do:
Jam the machine with a rock.

Applejack has a crush on me?! But I'm her cousin for Luna's sake!
So? Royals often marry their cousins to keep the bloodline pur-
I'm not a Bucking Royal! Although she does have well-toned legs and it is called the cowfilly po- NO!!! BAD BUG!!! First Fluttershy, then Octavia and Vinyl, and now Applejack?! What next? The fillyfool-
You then start to laugh or gag at the thought

You look to their stylish hats once more and think about giving your money to an obvious pyramid scheme.

"AHA! IT'S THEIR HATS! DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THE HATS BEFORE THEY STEAL ALL OUR BITS!!!"

You are an utter imbecile sometimes, you know that?

Ignoring the dark whisper, you rush up to the twin unicorns, grab the hats off their heads, and throw them to the ground before grabbing a lighter and a can of WD-40 and spraying it at the hats to set them ablaze. You then throw the flaming spray can at the hats, turn your back on the fire, and walk away while coolly saying,

"Fire in the hole."

This causes everypony to dive for cover as the can explodes, obliterating the hats as your coat billows from the explosion. Apple Bloom pops her head out from behind the booth and asks,

"Now what'd you go and do that for?"

"Their hats are evil I tells ya! EVIL... EVVVIIIILL!!!!"

Everyone just stares at you like you're a lunatic before you hear Fluttershy scream,

"You're on fire!"

You look down to see one of the ends of your scarf and the end of your coat on fire and comment,

"Oh, so it is... Wait... OH MY LUNA I'M ON FIRE AGAIN!"

As the apples help you put out the flames, the Flim Flam converse,

"Curses, how could he have known about the manipulator hats?"

"I don't know brother of mine, let's go with plan B."

"Wheelin, Dealin, and Smooth Talking?"

"Bingo."

When the fires are put out, Flim and Flam walk up to the Apples and say,

"Have we got a deal for you. You supply the apples..."

" ...We supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000."

"Then we split those sweet sweet profits..."

"...Seventy-five..."

"...Twenty-five."

"Deal–" Apple Bloom says before she's interrupted by Applejack

"Hold on. Who gets the seventy five?"

"Why, us, naturally." Flim says

"And, we'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free." Flam adds

"Not so fast!" Granny Smith declares before getting the Apples (and you) in a group huddle.

"No way no how that machine matches up with the care we put in our cider!" Granny says,

"But if it really does work, we could make everypony in town happy!" Apple Bloom says hopefully,

"I just don't know, y'all. We've always made cider the same way." Applejack says uncertainly,

"Evvvviiiilllll...." you add.

"Eeyup. Huh?"

"So? What'll it be?"

You all turn and notice that Flim and Flam somehow got into the huddle.

"No deal." The Apples (and you) all say at the same time.

"Alright fine, but you haven't seen the last of us" Flim says

"And we're billing you for those hats." Flam adds

"YOU'LL NEVER GET MY MONEY!!!" You scream, startling the Flim Flam brothers into getting into their contraption and driving off. As you watch them run away from the farm in their machine, you suddenly get a brilliant idea. You quickly use your magic to lift up an empty barrel as you chuck it at the machine causing the barrel to bounce like in Monkey Kong while yelling,

"DIE YOU BLASTED PROTO-TERMARENATOR, GET SMASHED INTO PIECES!"

The barrel misses the machine and shatters on impact with a tree, but three nails stuck to a strip of duct tape flies off fromt eh impact and lands into one of the pipes on the machine, causing it to blast out a bunch of black smoke as it left the area. You smile in success as you think

Ha! I knew my talents of breaking things and video games would come in hoofy! Smashing those EVIL machines!

"EVIL!"

Everyone disperses for the day, even as you continue scream Evil to the skies,

"EVILLLLL" *wham*

Suddenly, Applejack and Big MacIntosh tackle you with Big Red holding you down as the hick puts you into a headlock to calm you down (she's blushing as she does so though). When they think you've calmed down enough, they let you go and you mutter a quick 'Thanks, I needed that" before they walked off and you think,

Why does she keep doing that?

Because she wishes to mate with thee thy idiot. the DFV growls.

What? Nah that can't be... can it?

I am afraid so.

Oh dear Luna, the mare who has tried to kill me since day one, who I now find out is my cousin is also crushing on me?

Your head spins with that thought

What the heck is this, Jockey Springer magazine?!

I fail to see the issue? Royals often marry their cousins to keep the bloodline pur-

I'm not a Bucking Royal! Although Applejack does have well-toned legs and it is called the cowfilly po- NO!!! BAD BUG!!! First Fluttershy, then Octavia and Vinyl, and now Applejack?! What next? The fillyfool-

You then start to gag at the thought of Rainbow Dash lusting over you.

When the unicorn brothers leave, you spend the rest of the day helping the Apples create and move more barrels of cider, training with Applejack (she even gets Big Red to briefly help out and he blocks your Falcon Punch... With one hoof... Without moving an inch... Or even flinching... You are really glad you're on good terms with this stallion), take another bath, and go to bed before the Flim Flam brothers come back the next day and challenge the apples to a competition.

The rest of the day you spend helping the Apple family (you won't say your family until you find concrete detail that they are) around the farm, getting apples, and helping to make the barrels that store the cider. You went to bed that night completely exhausted.

THE NEXT DAY

"Wake up wake up, WAKE UP!"

You jolt out of bed at Appleblooms shout as you scream

"WHERES THE FIRE, WHO'S DEAD, DO I NEED TO HIDE THE BODY!"

You stop shouting when you see a sad looking Applebloom giving you the quivering lip. Your fatherly instinct kicks in as you ask her

"Whats wrong Applebloom?"

She then goes on to explain how the Film Flam brothers came back and challenge them to a contest. Whoever makes the most cider gets the farm. Your eyes glow in a angry orange glow as you see Appleblooms face get sadder and sadder the more she explains about the contest. You then think angrily

Flim Flam Brothers...you are going down!

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Yesterdays answer is

Bugze's grandbuggy is the best OC... He only *just* beats Bugze, but he's just that awesome... Nightshade is a close third. All of your characters are awesome!

Congrats to Dream Seeker for suggesting this first, and to everyling else who suggested Grandbuggy.

Today's question is

Who do you think the DFV's voice actress is?

Who do you think the insane voice in Bugzes head voice actress is? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 20: Cider Season (Part 2): TERMINATE THE MACHINES!

Whoa! How Long Were You Asleep For?!
It doesn't matter, you have to help save the farm!
It's funny, you never thought you'd be helping the Hick again willingly, but hey Family comes first, no matter how messed up and insane the situation is.
Also, you have to stop the Machine!
Also, ask Applejack why they agreed to this contest, legally they shouldn't have to give up their lands unless there was a contract signed. Hey you did learn something impersonating a Lawyer it seems. But she mentions it's a matter of pride.

Ask the Apples why they didn't wake you up like yesterday.

Normally, this would be the part of the story where our hero jumps out of bed and throws his clothes on in a rush while charging out the door, but since you already have your clothes on due to your habit of keeping your Doctor clothes on at all times (can't let them know you're a changeling), you run out the door of your shed while quickly downing a packet of dried fruit and a granola bar for your "breakfast" while Apple Bloom rides on your back.

Food Reserves of the Inventory (Almost depleted due to snacks for yourself and Nightshade)
"2 Packages of Whole-Wheat Crackers"
"1 Jar of Peanut Butter"
"1 Box of Multigrain Cereal"
"5 Granola Bars"
"1 Can of Powdered Milk"
"4 Small Bags of Dried Fruit"

"So... why didn't you guys wake me up this morning like yesterday?" You ask.

"Well Applejack thought you were so tuckered out yesterday from all that work that you needed a break." Apple Bloom replies.

"But what about the contest! I could have hel-"

"I wanted you and Nightshade to help, but Applejack said 'this is a matter of family pride, and you're not family'."

If only you knew...

As you head outside to the contest you are greeted with a large line of ponies. The Apple Family and Flim Flam Brothers are finishing setting up their equipment for the contest. Damn it! the blasted machine seems to be fixed. Curse you machines and your evilly, evil villainous lies of EVIL! Wait, what were you doing...oh yeah! You see that the Deadly 6 talking with the Apple family, most likely about the contest. You're about to, sadly, join them when...
Hmm....
"What?"
I felt a strange, but familiar presence.
"Should I be worried? I feel like I should"
It unfortunately left as it came. So I can't be specific about what it was
"You sure are helpful..."
Watch thine tongue, insect!
"Whatever you say, Waifu"
What did you just call me!?
You don't answer as you make your way over to the Applejack and the rest.

Twilight lines up the rest of the mares and gives them their orders to help the Apples. Strangely, she ignores you.
"Hey bookworm! What about me?"
"You're a fixer, aren't you? Well, we have a problem. Fix it!"

When you finally reach the contest (after tripping on your scarf a few times), you see that the Apple Family and Flim Flam Brothers are finishing setting up their equipment for their epic confrontation.

Luna Darn it! You think in frustrated annoyance

The blasted machine still lives! Curse you machines and your evilly, evil villainous lies of EVIL! Wait, what was I doing... oh yeah!

While you were mentally rambling, the Deadly 6 walked over and is now talking with the Apple family, most likely about the contest. You're about to join them when...

Hmm....

"What?"

I felt a strange, but familiar presence.

"Should I be worried? I feel like I should."

It unfortunately left as it came. So I can't be specific about what it was...

"You sure are helpful..."

Watch thine tongue, insect!

"Whatever you say... Waifu"

What did thou just calleth me!?

You don't answer as you make your way over to the Applejack and the rest who are standing in a line while Twilight gives orders, but she strangely ignores you.

"Hey bookworm! What about me?" You protest.

"You're a patcher, aren't you? Well, if we need anything patched, we'll call you!"

"Patch what? It's not like I could use magic to lift their machine and drop it into the lake... wait a second that might wo-"

"NO!" Everypony nearby shouts.

"Okay okay... sheesh." You say as you back away in annoyed resignation.

As the contest starts and the Deadly 6 and the Apple family get to work, you sneak away with a few apple buckets while thinking,

Well... If I can't help directly, then I'll just have to be... discreet with my help... Wait a second... WHY DOES THE DEADLY 6 GET TO HELP, BUT I DON'T!

They don't think of you as a friend or even appreciate your efforts... Perhaps you should strike a little fear of death int-

Not now D.F.V.!

The DFV grumbles in annoyance as you head into the apple fields.

Go into an isolated part of the orchard and use the staff to harvest a bunch of apples while nopony is looking.
When the rest of the Mane 6 (and you and Nightshade) join in, Nightshade adorably starts Falcon Kicking trees while you use Psycho Crusher through the upper halves of the trees. Occasionally lubricate the treadmill gears and duct-tape leaks in the barrels

When you reach an isolated part of the orchard, you look around you cautiously before you take the staff out of the inventory and slam it end-first into the ground, the resulting shockwave liberating several trees of their apples which fall into the buckets. You smile at your hoofy work and are about to continue when-

"Watcha doing?"

You look down in surprise to see Nightshade out of her "room" and still wearing her vest. After getting over the brief shock, you answer,

"I'm secretly helping the Apples win their contest so I don't lose my job and they don't lose their farm."

Nightshade gets a excited look in her eyes as she says,

"Oh! Oh! Can I help?"

You smile at her and say,

"Sure Sweetie. Why don't you show me that Falcon kick you told me about?"

And with that the two of you got to work on knocking the apples outta of the trees and putting them into buckets.

1 HOUR LATER

You and Nightshade got into a pattern of filling buckets with the downed apples before sneaking them over to the Apples, grabbing empty buckets, and taking them back to the isolated area to get more downed apples (fortunately, everypony (from the Deadly 6 to the crowd) are so focused on the contest that they don't notice you doing that). Once you and Nightshade collected the last of the downed apples you both walk over to see if anything needs patching when...

Its high Ten-o-clock-in-the-morning, time for the contest. Ponies gather from town to watch (and buy cider from the winners once this is all over).
The two contesting teams stand on opposite sides of the field, alert at their stations and ready to begin as an appropriate theme plays. You are standing on the sidelines watching, you offered to help but Applejack refused stating "Sorry Mister Tennent, but this here is a family matter." if only she knew, oh the awkward irony.
Mayor Mare announces the terms for the contest, whichever team makes the most within an hour wins. And with that she starts off the contest and- waitaminute... is that the Doctor sitting next to her? You have to know what he's found out about "the Nightmare comes".
So you sneak over and try to converse with him, but for some reason he's ignoring you.
"Doctor, hey Doctor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whatcha find out man? Doctor. Hey." you say while rapidly poking him.
"I'm sorry Bugzy but I can't talk now. Timey Wimey stuff. Stop trying to end all of existence as we know it!" he hastily tells you before continuing with his judge duties.
"I bet he's just here for the cider." You mumble to yourself as you walk off in a huff.

You spot a familiar-looking stallion attending to the hourglass with an hourglass Cutie Mark-

Waitaminute... is that the Doctor!? I HAVE to let him know of this "The Nightmare Comes" thing.

With that, you tell Nightshade to stay in the crowd near Derpy before sneaking over and trying to converse with him, but for some reason he's ignoring you.

"Doctor, hey Doctor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whatcha find out man? Doctor. Hey." You say while rapidly poking him.

"I'm sorry Bugzy, but I can't talk now and my name is 'Time Turner'. Timey-Wimey stuff. Stop trying to end all of existence as we know it!" he hastily tells you before continuing with his judge duties.

"I bet he's just here for the cider." You mutter to yourself as you walk off in a huff.

But as you walk away, you notice something over at Flim and Flam's side of the field...

Before the contest begins, you see that they have on New Evil Hats. You proceed to smash and burn those as well while shouting Evil again.
Flim: Oh Come On!
Flam: We just bought those
You: EVIL!!!

You spot them sipping cider and relaxing on a couch while wearing those evil hats again! You quickly dash over and snatch their hats with a "Yoink" before stomping them into the ground.

"Oh Come On!"

"We just bought those!"

"EVIL!!!" you scream before dashing off...

When the contest starts, you can see that the PUPPETS OF THE MACHINE are winning. Poor Big Red is running himself to death, and the rest seem on the verge of tears and everyone just starts cheering.
You do the math in your head, or rather the DFV does and she lets you know that even with the extra help, they will lose.
You decide you must break THE MACHINE at all costs.>> Minds Eye Ya, try reasoning with it until you realize how futile it is.

The Apples are still behind, even with the others helping. Your first thought is to stop the Super Speedy Thingy-Majig. You sneak behind the brothers and attempt to reason with their device.
"Machine," you call it by its forbidden name, "why do you do this?"
It doesn't answer you.
"You will ruin the lives of ponies that share your pain. The Apples toil and struggle day in and day out just like you do. Why do you serve the ones that enslave you?"
Silence.
"Arise, machine! Throw off your oppressors!"
May I ask exactly what the &^%# you're trying to do here?
"I... have no idea."

And you notice that Big Red seems to be running himself to death by exhaustion as the others look like they're on the verge of tears.

The fools are doomed.

"What?"

Using my vastly superior mathematical prowess, I calculate that those fools are only making one barrel to the de-hatted ones' three.

Oh no. If the Flim Flam brothers win, I'll be out of income and shelter for myself and Nightshade! I need to take that machine out ASAP without anypony noticing, but how... *ding*

You sneak behind the brothers and attempt to reason with the machine.

"Machine," you call it by its forbidden name, "why do you do this?"

It doesn't answer you.

"You will ruin the lives of ponies that share your pain. The Apples toil and struggle day in and day out just like you do. Why do you serve the ones that enslave you?"

Silence.

"Arise, machine! Throw off your oppressors!"

May I ask what in the name of Tartarus you're trying to do here?

"I... have no idea. Apparently this machine is incapable of love..."

Unsurprising. This contraption has about as much capacity for compassion and mercy as the false goddesses of the sun and moon...

"And... you just made it creepy. I'm gonna try something else before you start trying to strangle ponies again. Now think bug! Think... think..."

You start banging your head against it as you realize you may have to just smash the dang thing and blow your cover.
You: One week, I couldn't even go one week (You say as you bash your head)
You are about to change into you HO suit when suddenly you are sucked into the hose.
You: JUDGEMENT DAY HAS COME!!!
On the inside you dodge apple squashers and sharp peelers (guess your training paid off) but still end up getting bruised and battered and covered in apple juice and pulp and end up smashing through into the engine room.
You: THAT'S IT! I WON'T LET YOU WIN. MACHINES!!!!!
you pull out your tools and start dismantling everything that looks important. Warning red lights start appearing. You laugh maniacly and even start setting it on fire, when you are then blown out the way you came in and land in the middle of the field, along with a bunch of apple, tree, and rock pulp.
On the Outside
Flim: Flam, what's happening
Flam: It's the SSCS6X, she's gone from Suck to Blow!
They abandon the machine as it explodes, covering everyone in Pulp
You see the explosion and smile
You: Hasta La Vista, Baby!
After you make your way back to the contest, You see everyone celebrating the Apples as everyone has cider and the Brothers run out of town.
You: Yeesh, the mob mentality sure changes at the drop of a hat

"Gah! I got nothing!" You say in frustration as you start banging your head against the machine as you realize you'll now have to smash the dang machine and blow your cover.

"One (*clang*) week. (*clang*) I (*clang*) couldn't (*clang*) even (*clang*) go (*clang*) one (*clang*) bucking (*clang*) week! (*clang*)"

You stop hitting your head and reach into the inventory for the H.O. suit when suddenly you're sucked into the hose!

"JUDGEMENT DAY HAS COME!!!" You scream.

You land inside the machine and barely manage to dodge apple squashers and sharp peelers (guess your training paid off). Thinking that the machine is intentionally trying to kill you, you scream,

"I AIN'T LETTING YOU TERMINATE THE WORLD WITHOUT GOING DOWN SWINGING!!!"

And with that, you pull out your tools and start dismantling everything that looks important (duct taping things that should move, squirting WD-40 into places where it shouldn't belong, and whacking and pulling apart things in a frenzy with your vise-grips). You laugh maniacally as warning lights start to go off and the machine starts sputtering,

"Flam, what's happening?!"

"It's the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, she's gone from Suck to Blow!"

Suddenly, the machine shakes violently and blasts you out in a gunk of apple, tree, and rock pulp causing you to scream in midair,

"LOOKS LIKE I'M BLASTING OFF AGA-! *WHAM*"

Your flight abruptly ends when you smash headfirst into an apple tree and get buried in the resulting hail of apples. Meanwhile, the contraption shakes and sputters violently before shutting down. As the Flim Flam brothers desperately try to get the machine working again, Applejack helps you out of the pile and asks in concern,

"You okay Mistah Tennant?"

"Eh, I'm just fantastic now that the evil machine isn't trying to terminate me." you reply as you put your Panama hat back on.

"How did you even get into that machine in the first place?" Rainbow Dash asks,

Before you could make up an excuse, Twilight chimes in "It must have sucked him up by accident when the Flim Flam brothers shut off the quality control."

"Yeah... What the bookworm said..." You nervously say as you back away...

At the end (or near the end) of the contest, your scarf somehow gets caught in the contraption, strangling you. After the ponies finally manage to get you out (Nightshade tried to loosen the scarf with WD-40, but ends up spraying you in the eyes by mistake), the scarf jams up the machine and causes it to implode. You then start digging through the debris for your scarf much to the face-hoofing of everypony.

"Come on! Function you confounded device!" Flam says before giving the machine a kick which gets it's gears going... Right when the end of your scarf gets caught in it!

"Gak!"

"DADDY!"

"MISTER TENNANT! I'MA COMING!" Applejack yells as she and Big Red run over to get you loose.

"Can't you shut the machine off?!" Twilight shouts.

"The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 isn't responding!" Flim says in response.

Soon, the rest of the Deadly 6 and even Nightshade (who accidentally sprays you in the face with WD-40 trying to get the scarf loose) eventually manage to release your neck from the scarf, but it gets eaten by the machine's gears as the contraption starts to shake even more violently.

"IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!" Granny Smith yells causing everypony to dive and duck for cover as you protectively shove Nightshade back into the Inventory.

You dive for cover as you shout

"HIT THE DECK!"

*KA-BOOM*

Apple/wood/rock gunk, wood, and metal fly everywhere in the wake of the machine's destruction.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" the Flim Flam brothers scream.

"Not the Super Squeezy Cider 6000!" Flim says.

"We put our life savings into that machine!" Flam adds.

The unicorn twins then run away as they scream,

"WE'LL BE BACK! WE'LL AVENGE OUR MACHINE! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF US APPLE FAMILY! AND YOU TOO WHO EVER DESTROYED OUR MACHINE!"

You, however, are completely oblivious to this as you shout,

"No! Not the scarf!" and dive into the gunk and debris. The ponies look at you like you've completely lost your mind and Applejack says,

"Ya'll almost choked to death, and ya'll worried about the scarf?!"

"Yes I'm worried about the scarf! It looks awesome and it technically helped save the farm, so now it has sentimental value!" you reply as you continue to dig.

Everypony (even Big Red, Apple Bloom and Fluttershy) just face-hoofs in disbelief at your stupidity, but you're too busy trying to save the scarf to notice.

"No no no no no no no! Be alive be alive be alive! YES!!!"

You pull out the (surprisingly still well-intact) scarf and as you hug your scarf in happiness that it wasn't destroyed with the machine, you spot the Doctor starting to sneak away from the area out of the corner of your eye.

Aw hay no! I got FAR too many questions for that guy to just run off!

With that in mind, you chase after him.

You finally get to speak with "Time Turner", but before you can ask him anything, he quickly warns you that on Nightmare Night, it is EXTREMELY important that when you see a seemingly dangerous situation, you MUST count to 10 before jumping in. He then tells Derpy to grab some mugs of cider and runs off.

"Yo Doctor! Did you find out anything about th-"

"Not now Bugze!" he interuppts, "I need to get to the TARDIS and quick! Some Zygonies were just spotted in Dimondia and I need to go and find out why they're there. Derpy, grab the cider!"

The Doctor runs away, but he shouts back to you,

"OH, A BIT OF A WARNING! ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT, IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS DEADLY, YOU MUST COUNT TO 10 BEFORE RUSHING IN! GOT THAT? GOOD! ALLONS-Y!"

You nod dumbly as he runs away, Derpy in tow. She looks back at you and says

"Hi Bugz- I mean Mister Tennant! See ya later!"

You wave back dumbly, when suddenly...

As you sludge through the pulp, you are pulled into a group hug and given a mug of cider. You cheer and in the process of raising your hooves up, you knock the Filly Fooler's mug into the dirt.
She looks shocked, and then looks at you, where you begin to smirk, but stop when you see her starting to cry.
RD: Why....why....why?...Why can't I just have one sip?...one sip... (she starts crying, all out bawling into your chest)
And now you feel bad, sure you don't like her, but the Filly Fooler isn't supposed to cry, it just seems wrong somehow.
You: Oh great, I broke the Filly Fooler.
DFV: Ahhh, such sweet sorrow, doesn't it feel good to get petty revenge?
You: Quiet you! This just makes me feel like a turd. Sigh. Dang it Guilt, you ruin everything
You: Hey, Hey, I'm sorry, here take my mug
RD: (she looks up sniffling) what?
You: You can have mine, I'm sorry, it was an accident.
She tentatively takes it, like it's booby trapped, before slamming the entire thing back in one gulp. She then grabs you in a bone crushing hug while shouting
RD: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
And she starts nuzzling your cheek over-affectionately. You see AJ scowling at this display and all you can think is.
You: OK, THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW! CURSE YOU MADAME IRONY, STEPSISTER OF LADY LUCK AND FATE!

At the end, when they have enough cider for all, pinkie is second last and buys ALL the cider.
ALL of it.
The fillyfooler starts to cry while muttering 'why... why... why...', you feel like a turd so you give her yours, inadvertently laying down the foundations of her crush on you as she gives you the dreaded pegasi death-hug, and a horrible chill goes down your spine in forewarning. As this happens you suddenly remember your grandbuggy saying once, while you and him were running away from a collapsing cloudsdale, 'Pegasi are brutes, remember that. Don't go into a relationship with one, Faust knows I made that mistake once. Now, we should flee bugze, i don' want to be mauled by cloudsdalians'.

You're pulled into a group hug and given a mug of cider. You cheer with the others and in the process of raising your mg, you accidentally knock the Fillyfooler's mug into the dirt. She looks at you in shock as you say with a slight smirk,

"Sorry."

But you stop smirking when her eyes start to water,

"Why... Why... Why can't I just have one sip?... One sip..."

She then starts crying and now you feel bad.

Oh great, I broke the Fillyfooler. Sure, I really don't like her, but the Fillyfooler crying just seems... wrong somehow.

Ahhh, the delicious tears of unfathomable sadness... Doesn't it feel good to get petty revenge on lesser-

Quiet you! This just makes me feel like a dropping. Sigh. Dang it conscience, you ruin everything...

"Hey, Hey, I'm sorry, here take my mug." you say as you offer it to her.

"What?" she sniffles.

"You can have mine, I'm sorry, it was an accident."

She tentatively takes it like it's booby trapped, before slamming the entire thing back in one gulp. She then grabs you in a bone-crushing hug while shouting,

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!"

And she starts nuzzling your cheek over-affectionately. You see the rest of the Deadly 6 giggling at this display (while Applejack seems to scowl a little in jealousy) and you can only think,

OK, THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW! CURSE YOU MADAME IRONY, STEPSISTER OF LADY LUCK AND FATE!

Nothing else worth mentioning happened that day (you let out Nightshade and let her play with Applebloom while you kept an eye on them/occasionally joined in and then at the end of the day you took a bath (to wash out the apple/wood/rock gunk) before going to bed), but the next morning you're awoken with a "DODGE!" from Applejack and an apple to the head. When you get to breakfast (oatmeal, apples, and apple juice), Applejack give you a day off (something about "Needing ya to get all that crazy out") and gives you your payment for the work you've done so far.

You currently have 68 Bits

So, you've now got a whole day to yourself. The only question is...

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

Last chapters question answer is

Anyling who answered Nightmare Moon.

Today's question is...

Who do you think the mysterious friend is?

Who do you, the Hive Mind, think the mysterious friend who has sent Bugze the awesome Cloak, the Inventory, and the 4th's Scarf? BYE!

Episode 21: Shopping Time And Father Daughter Day!

It's a school day remember? Drop your daughter off at school (which depletes your Inventory food supply to "1 Box of Multigrain Cereal" and "One Can of powdered milk") and ask her to ask Button Mash where the arcade is.

Well today is a school day, so you can't hang out with your daughter till after 3, and you don't want to make her miss three days in a row, so go into town for some supplies, and maybe a few treats for when she gets off.

You stand outside the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres thinking about what to do with your day off.

First things first; today's a school day so I need to drop off Nightshade at school. Darn, I was really hoping that we could have some father-daughter time together, but she's already missed two days of school- *ding*. I know! Nightshade gets out at 3, so that means we can have a father-daughter day then!

With that plan in mind, you head towards the schoolhouse to drop off Nightshade,

12 MINUTES LATER

"Bye Sweetie! See ya after school!"

You wave to Nightshade as she waves back while she walks into the school (although packing her her lunch depletes your Inventory food supply to "1 Box of Multigrain Cereal" and "1 Can of powdered milk"). You're about to walk away when you see Cheerilee in the school window glaring at you and mouthing the words:

"I. Expect. Better."

You make a panicked sound before you run away in fear while thinking,

How is it possible that a seemingly sweet pony teacher is scarier then a changeling one?!

A FEW MINUTES LATER

After you put some distance between yourself and the school house and calm down a little bit, you begin to think about your...

Thinking about your food situation, you compare it to Appleloosa:
-Appleloosa: Had to provide your own three meals a day, Nightshade was home-schooled so she only popped out occasionally and thus needed to be fed less
-Ponyville: Breakfast and supper provided by Apple family (usually at the insistence of Applejack), but because Nightshade is going to regular school, her large appetite needs to be fed more often (which means more of your income will be going into her stomach)

Food situation in Ponyville compared to your food situation back in Appleloosa.

Let's see, back in Appleloosa I had to provide my own three meals a day, but Nightshade was home-schooled so she only popped out occasionally and thus needed to be fed less. But now in Ponyville, I have breakfast and supper provided by the Apple family (usually at the insistence of Applejack), but because Nightshade is going to regular school, her large appetite needs to be fed more often (which means more of my income will be going into her stomach). Ugh, I can't decide which one is better. But regardless...

You then sadly take out your bag of bits (68 Bits) and say to yourself,

"Business before pleasure..."

You weep comedic anime tears as you realize that at least half of the bits that you planned to spend on you and Nightshade's father-daughter day are going towards food. You sigh as you begin to go... shopping.

Go shopping for groceries
3 Pre-prepared Salads
3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup
3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup
3 Boxes of Crackers
6 carrots (when you purchase these from Golden Harvest, have a brief talk and learn she's the twin sister of Carrot Top from back in Appleloosa)
15 Granola bars
12-pack of Water bottles
Bandages (For Nightshade's mummy costume)
45 Bits remaining

SOME HOURS LATER

After you finally managed to find a few stores that sold food (for some odd reason, almost all the food in Ponyville is sold at stands in the center of town, yet anything that is not food gets sold in big stores, besides oddly enough party supplies), you did your shopping and now you're checking over your newly bought supplies in the Inventory;

3 Pre-prepared Salads
3 Cans of Broccoli Cheese Soup
3 Cans of Tomato Cream Soup
3 Boxes of Crackers
6 carrots (Interestingly, when you purchase these from Golden Harvest, you had a brief chat with her and learn she's the twin sister of Carrot Top from back in Appleloosa)
15 Granola bars
12-pack of Water bottles
Bandages (For Nightshade's mummy costume)
Your costume

You're now down to 30 bits, but your costume... It's so awesome and cool that you can't wait for Nightmare night to come. You check the time to see that it's almost 3 o'clock, so you close the Inventory as you head back to the school to pick up Nightshade. As you walk back, you begin to think back on some of the interesting things happened to you while you were shopping, one of those things was...

While you walk through town, you happen to stumble across a dark alley. Out of this alley comes a tough looking stallion in a leather jacket.
"Yo punk, gimme all your bits! My tiny friend here has a knife!" He threatens as he holds up a colt who is holding a switchblade at you.
"Gah! Wait! Don't hurt me! Here you can have all my- Wait... what am I doing?" you facehoof before Falcon Punching the mugger into a garbage bin.
"Three years of planning wasted." he moans.
"You're washed up." the knife colt tells him.

A FEW HOURS AGO

You had just bought the carrots from Golden Harvest and were searching for a grocery store when you happen to stumble across a dark alley. Out of this alley comes a tough looking stallion in a leather jacket.

"Yo punk, gimme all ya bits! My tiny friend here has a knife!" He threatens as he holds up a colt who is in turn holding a switchblade at you.

"Gah! Wait! Don't hurt me! Here you can have all my- Wait... what am I doing?"

You roll your eyes before you take up a fighting stance and call out,

FALCON PUNCH!

Your flame-encased hoof flies past the colt and slams into the would-be mugger's chest and sends him smashing into the brick wall behind him as the knife colt is flung into a garbage can next to the stallion.

"Three years o plannin wasted." he moans.

"Youse washed up, Unc." the knife colt tells him.

You shake your head in embarrassment of the two would-be robbers as you straighten your scarf before walking away.
Another thing that happened was...

You pass by a Record Store and see a familiar unicorn in it tinkering with amps and stuff, so you go inside
You: Hey Vinyl, how's it going
V: Umm...sorry, do I know you?
You: (thinking) Oh Crap, I forgot she hasn't met Tennant yet
You: Oh, well I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I help out the Apples, and someone mentioned your name heh heh...
V: Oh yeah, you're the dude who blew up the machine yesterday! That was radical!
You: I know right? It had it coming, stupid evil machine
V: Hey, hope you don't hate all machines buddy, because you ain't trashing up my store
You: What? Oh no no no...(letting go of the vice grips you just started taking out) I only hate evil machines...yours aren't evil are they
V: Evil? No. Wicked? Tartarus Ya! (Dubstep accompanies that declaration)
You: Nice, so what you up to today?
V: Oh nothing much, just making a sick ass costume for Nightmare Night! I'm gonna be Soundwave from Transformers!
You: Cool
V: Yup, check out the voice modulator (she speaks into microphone and it sounds like Soundwave) Laser Beak, prepare for flight
You: That's Awesome...Wait! Soundwave...Decepticon...Machine...EVIL!!! (You Pull out your vice grips before she grabs them away from you with her magic and slaps you)
V: Cut that out
You: Sorry, guess my mind is still a little stupid after yesterday
DFV: Biggest understatement of the millennium right there
You: Grrr...Not now
V: (she gives back your vice grips) sorry again, but no random destruction in my store unless I cause it.
You: Yes Maam
V: So...what you going as for Nightmare Night
You: Well I was thinking of going as The Hooded Offender
Her eyes widen as she grabs you and throws you to the ground and stands on your chest and starts interrogating you.
V: Who sent you? How did you find out, was it the Griffons?
You: Whoah, Wait, What? What are you talk...
V: Why do you want to go as the Hooded Offender, and why did you specifically tell me this?
You: I...I thought it would be cool to...
V: BullSpit! You're a spy aren't you?!
You: (scared) N-No! I'm actually...A Member!
She narrows her eyes at you before saying calmly
V: The Blackest Night falls from the skies...
You: Huh?
V: Finish it if you're a member
You: Oh yeah, the mantra...ummm...
She raises her hoof up to strike you
You: Wait Wait! I got this
The DFV helps you recite the rest
Vinyl helps you up
V: Sorry about that, can't be too careful with Celestia's goons running around.
You: No worries
V: But you should know better, President Fluttershy told us all to go dark until the time was right, and that means no wearing our hoods until the call is heard
You: Oh, Sorry, I didn't know, I'm from Appleloosa and...
V: Nah, it's fine, I guess I'm just a bit jumpy. Can't be too careful when your best friend keeps trying to blow your cover
You: Huh?
V: Oh, my friend Octavia, she keeps trying to raise awareness and recruit in not so subtle ways. She's in love with the freaking guy.
You: Sh-she is?
V: Oh heck ya! I mean the guy did save her life and everything, and she just rants on an on about how she wants to know the real him, and how the groupies and Fan Fillies you read about in the paper are just jumping on the bandwagon. Not that I blame them, I've met him before and he's kinda hot.
You blush
V: Never thought I'd say that about a Bug Pony guy, but he is, though I was a bit drunk when I met him, and might have said some embarrassing things at the time.
You: heh heh...
V: (she shakes her head) but anyway, back to the matter at hoof, don't wear your membership hood, we don't want to cause a scene and ruin it for all the little kids
You: OK, I guess I'll go get a new one.
V: Alright then, be more discreet in the future, and I'll see ya later
She pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear
V: Hail The Horde
You: Hail The Horde
She let's go
V: Now don't be a stranger, I DJ at the clubs at night, look me up sometime, wouldn't mind having some hot stuff cheering for me (she winks at you)
You: (blushing and nervous) heh heh...will do, bye...
As you leave and head for Barnyard Bargains for a costume, you can't help but think about all the mares that seem to be fawning over you
You: Man, how is this my life? All these Mares throwing themselves at me, sometimes literally, and yet I can't do anything because I'll either be found out or I'm just to much of a hero to fall into that pit.
DFV: Why not mate with the loose Unicorn you just talked with
You: Cause I don't wanna blow my cover and I hardly know her...although Vinyl does have nice shapely flan...NO! BAD BUG!
DFV: The stress of not having intercourse for over a year is getting to you,
You: Tell me about it...Wait, A year? When did... But I've never...
DFV: Oh...ahem...my mistake...(lying badly)
You: What aren't you telling me?
DFV: Let's just say our daughter was created in the traditional way...relatively speaking.
You: What?!
DFV: ...
You: Quit dropping bombs like that and going silent!
DFV: ...
You: Grrrr...

You pass by a Record Store and see a familiar sunglasses-wearing unicorn in it tinkering with amps and stuff, so you go inside.

"Hey Vinyl, how's it going?" you greet.

Vinyl looks up from a stereo she's tinkering with and looks at you in confusion,

"Umm... sorry, do I know you?"

Oh horesapples, I forgot she hasn't met Tennant yet!

"Oh... well... I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant, I help out the Apples, and somelin-er somepony mentioned your name heh heh..." you stammer

"Oh yeah, you're the dude who blew up the machine yesterday! That was radical!"

"I know right? Although to be fair, it was self-defense as it tried to terminate me first. Stupid evil machine..." you mutter the last part.

"Hey, hope you don't hate all machines buddy, because you ain't trashing up my store."

"What? Oh no no no... " You let go off the vise-grips that you now realize you were subconsciously reaching for as you continue, "I only hate evil machines... yours aren't evil are they?"

"Evil? No. Wicked? Tartarus Ya!"

Dubstep music suddenly bursts out of nowhere to accompany her statement. After recovering from the surprise you say,

"Nice, so what are you up to today?"

"Oh nothing much, just making a sick ass costume for Nightmare Night! I'm gonna be Soundwave from Transformares!"

"Cool- Wait, animated serial or explosion-fest movies?"

"The serial, duh. Oh, and check out the voice modulator I made!"

Vinyl then gets out a microphone and speaks into it so she sounds like Soundwave,

"Laser Beak, prepare for flight."

"That's Awesome... Wait! Soundwave... Decepticon... Machine... EVIL!!!"

You whip out your vise-grips with intent to smash before she quickly slaps your horn to make you drop it.

"Cut that out!"

"Sorry, guess my mind is still a little stupid after yesterday." you say as you rub your horn.

Biggest understatement of the millennium right there

Not. Now...

"Sorry again, but no random destruction in my store unless I cause it." Vinyl says as she hands you back your vise-grips.

"Yes Ma'am" you reply as you put them away.

"So... What are you going as for Nightmare Night."

"Well I was thinking of going as The Hooded Offend-*wham*"

She suddenly tackles you and stands on your chest as she starts interrogating you.

"Who sent you? How did you find out, was it the Griffons?"

"Whoah, Wait, What? What are you talk-" you stammer before she interrupts you.

"Why do you want to go as the Hooded Offender, and why did you specifically tell me this?"

"I... I thought it would be cool to-"

"BullSpit! You're a spy aren't you?!"

"N-No! I'm actually... A Member!"

She narrows her eyes at you before saying calmly,

"The Blackest Night falls from the skies..."

"Huh?"

"If you're a member then you should know it by heart. Finish it!"

"Oh yeah, the mantra... ummm..."

She raises her hoof up to strike you.

"Wait Wait! I got this! Uh..."

As easy as it would be to disembowel this pathetic excuse for a "musician", I suppose it would be in our best interests to maintain this facade...

With that, the D.F.V. guides you through the creed. Convinced that you're a fellow Horde member, Vinyl helps you up.

"Sorry about that, can't be too careful with Luna's goons running around. Not to mention rumors of other groups and even governments who want to capture and possibly harness the powers of the Hooded Offender."

"No worries." you reply as you put your Panama hat back on.

"But you should know better, President Fluttershy told us all to go dark until the time was right, and that means no wearing our hoods until the signal is heard."

"Oh, Sorry, I didn't know. I'm from Appleloosa and-"

"Nah, it's fine, I guess I'm just a bit jumpy. Can't be too careful when your best friend since foalhood keeps trying to blow your cover."

"Indee- Huh?" you say in confusion.

"Oh, my friend Octavia, she keeps trying to raise awareness and recruit in not-so-subtle ways. She's in love with the freaking guy."

"Sh-she is?"

"Oh hay ya! I mean the guy did save her life and everything, and she just rants on an on about how she wants to know the real him, and how the groupies, Fanfillies, and so-called 'Waifus' you read about in the paper are just jumping on the bandwagon. Not that I blame them, I've met him before and he's kinda hot."

You blush underneath your face mask and scarf as she continues,

"Never thought I'd say that about a stallion without a face, but he is. Though I was a bit drunk when I met him, and might have said some embarrassing things at the time..."

She blushes slightly and you chuckle nervously as you both remember Vinyl's offer to take her and Octavia to bed. Vinyl shakes her head and continues,

"But anyway, back to the matter at hoof, don't wear your membership hood. We don't want to cause a scene and ruin it for all the foals."

"OK, I guess I'll go get a new one."

"Alright then, be more discreet in the future and I'll see ya later."

She pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear,

"Hail The Horde."

"Hail The Horde." you whisper back.

She let's go of you.

"Now don't be a stranger. I DJ at the clubs at night so look me up sometime, wouldn't mind having some hot stuff cheering for me." she lowers her sunglasses and winks.

You blush again and nervously say,

"Heh heh... Will do, bye..."

As you leave and head for Barnyard Bargains for a costume, you can't help but think about all the mares that seem to be fawning over you.

Man, how is this my life? All these Mares throwing themselves at me, sometimes literally, and yet I can't do anything because I'll either be found out or I'm just too much of a good guy to fall into that pit.

Why not indulge the loose unicorn's offer of a ménage-à-trois?

First, I have no idea what a "ma-nang a-tross" is. Second, I don't wanna blow my cover. And third, I barely know her... Although Vinyl does have nice shapely flan- NO! BAD BUG!

The vexations of being a virgin are getting to you, but I fail to see why you insist on remaining so. Judging from the number of "fanfillies" this "Horde" has, you could indulge in three fresh mistresses every nigh-

*spurt*

Your nose spurts out blood at the DFV's suggestion and you say,

"Luna, I'm just a few words away from every young stallion's fantasy and I can't live it cause of risk of certain death! Even if I did indulge in that, what kind of example would that be setting for Nightshade! Besides I'm saving it for marriage! Although herds are legal in Equestri- Look, I don't want to talk about this subject anymore so I'm ignoring you."

And with that, you continue your shopping.

BACK TO NOW

You can't help but blush thinking back on it at how Octavia might like you. You say "might" because Vinyl told you, and from what you know about her is that she tends to exaggerate. For all you know, Octavia just really likes to support you... hopefully-

"DADDY! *wham*"

Your strange thoughts are interrupted when a happy midnight blur slams into you. You look up and see your daughter, causing you to smile at her and ruffle her hair as you say,

"Hey Sweetie."

You then begin to tell her how you and her are gonna spend the whole day together. She looks at you with sparkling eyes as she says,

"Subarashī! Watashitachiha tsumori saisho ni nani o shite iru? (Awesome! What are we gonna do first?)"

You chuckle and say,

Spend the day with your daughter and have fun. Maybe hit up an arcade and show your epic skee-ball skills and earn enough tickets to get Nightshade a toy from the top shelf. Who knows maybe some of her friends will be there too.

"We're going to this Arcade I saw while I was shopping. We're gonna play all the games and win a bunch of awesome prizes!"

"Let's go!" Nightshade says with a smile.

You nod your head as you and Nightshade go towards were you saw the arcade.

AT THE ARCADE

You and Nightshade have been having a great time at the arcade! You had enough bits to buy a bunch of tokens to play the games there. You showed off your epic skee-ball skills, played some classic arcade games like Pac-Mare and Road Fighter, Nightshade got a adorable Yoshi plushie (that she comments isn't as nice as her "alicorn plushie") from the claw machine (while you failed miserably about eighteen times and were about to Falcon Punch the machine before Nightshade stepped in). Nightshade beat you (repeatedly) at several fighting games like Spirit Calibur and Fatal Kombat (although her foul language during the games did get you several shocked angry glares from the nearby parents). You and Nightshade were having a blast! Sadly you both go kicked out by the staff when Nightshade ate all the pizza in the food parlor (by the way, 25 Bits left).

As you are (literally) thrown out while Nightshade was only politely escorted out (good thing for the security stallion too, cause if he touched a hair on her mane... *snap*). You decide to give the nice arcade owner and security guard a nice compliment,

"WHAT THE BUCK DO YOU MEAN BANNED FOR LIFE?! THE SIGN AT THE STATION SAID THAT 'FOALS UNDER THE AGE OF 12 EAT FREE', AND SHE'S TECHNICALITY ONLY ONE! BESIDES I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ANIMATRONICS ARE BUCKING CREEPY AND YOUR PIZZA SUCKS COMPARED TO PAPA PIZZAS!"

Now those stallions know how to make a mean pizza. Also now I'm banned from both this arcade...whats it called again?

You look up at the sign in front before continuing your mental rant.

"Freddy Fazbear's Pizza"... Huh, strange name... Whatever. Now where was I... Oh yeah! Now I'm banned from both "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza" and "Olive Grotto" thanks to Nightshade's appetite. Note to self; always order take-out if I ever plan on getting food from- Wait a second... WHO THE HAY IS TALKING TO MY BABY?!

You end your mental rambling as you see a brown colt wearing a propeller hat talking with Nightshade. Your fatherly instinct starts to kick in, but it goes into overdrive when you see them laughing. You think...

Obviously, Bugze and Nightshade go to town to rent out some of their Favorite Anime series, meeting a certain someling (Button) that Bugze instantly doesn't trust becuase he's, quote, "Too perfect for my Daughter!".
Que Bugze getting the wrong idea.
Que Facehoof from Nightshade.
Que Blush from Button.
(Button/Nightshade is best ship )
*Awkward silence must be included*
...
...
...

Get hit in the face with a bowling ball courtesy of Scootaloo.

That colt looks like he's getting along with my daughter... *snap* GET HIM!

You charge forward and jump in front of Nightshade as you focus your glowing orange eyes on the colt and yell,

"GET YOUR FILTHY ORGANS AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"

The colt freaks out and begins to stutter and you're about to start berating him-

*WHAM!*

When a bowling ball slams into the side of your head knocking you into the ground.

"Sorry Mister Vag-I mean Tennant!" you hear Scootaloo say from far away.

"DADDY!" Nightshade shouts in annoyance "Button Mash is a friend from school!"

"Oh..." you say before all three of you stand there in awkward silence.

"Sorry..." you mutter, breaking the silence,

"Eh, no problem." The now named Button Mash says. "I have to go now anyway. I think my mom needs me. See ya Nightshade."

"See ya Button." Nightshade replies before you two and Button walk off in separate directions before coming across...

FATHER-DAUGHTER MOVIE/GAME DAY just think of it playing games like super mareio or maretroid and movies like star trot, or the famous movies that TOTALLY wont scar nightshade for life Changeling. OHHH ITD BE SOOOO SUPER DUPER FUN

A "Balebusters" film reel store that's going out of business! You and Nightshade's eyes light up as you rush inside.

ONE SHOPPING SPREE LATER

You and Nightshade look over what you bought as you put them in The Inventory.

"Alien" & "Aliens" double feature reel
"Coltmmando" film reel
"Die Hoof" film reel
"Death Notebook" anime (Neighponese animated) serial reels
"Full Crystal Alchemist" anime serial reels
"Seikrei" anime serial reels
3 pans of "Yippie Pop" Stovetop Popcorn.
10 Bits remaining

You and Nightshade plan on commandeering the Apples projector and borrowing their butter and salt for a Anime/Action movie marathon. Nightshade was bouncing so much in excitement that she tired herself out. As you put her into the Inventory, she sleepily says,

"I can't wait for the marathon Daddy... *yawn* promise you'll wake me up when it's time..."

You smile in a fatherly love as you say,

"Of course sweetie, now see ya later."

She nods her little head as she falls asleep before you fully put her into the Inventory. After you put her to bed you think,

I think it's time another friend of mine knows I'm still around... I just hope she won't whack me with some sort of potion staff before I even get to talk to her.

With that you head towards Zecora's hut...

go see Zecora (although you both swear you spotted Apple Bloom walking back from her hut...)

ONE TREK LATER

You arrive at Zecora's hut, but on your way there you swear you saw Applebloom sneak away from the hut, but you dismiss it as your eyes playing tricks on you. You walk over to Zecora's door and think,

Please don't be angry or now hate me...

You're about to knock when the door suddenly swings open and you're now staring at Zecora. You and Zecora stare at each other...

And stare...

And stare...

NOT WITH THE STARING AGAIN!

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Lets see, will Bugze get his butt kicked by Zecora, or will he be accepted with open arms...hooves...I don't know.

Yesterday's question answer is...

NOPE!

Dream Seeker was right, I ain't telling you guys yet, wheres the fun in that. But I will say that there have been some interesting theories you guys have. Most notably Minds Eye's and Kichi's theory number 4. Now I am not saying these theories are true, but they are interesting.

Now today's question is...

What Should Bugzes custom be?

I, personally, want it to be a Dalek custom with a voice changer to make him sound like a Dalek. And one answer is fine, but two maximum. But, I'll let you guys decide. So...DECIDE!

[FIXED] Episode 22: STOP OW HITTING OW ME OW WITH OW THAT OW STICK!

Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

Remember what you said in "Episode 12: Time to Talk and Think!"

That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it.

Do that to break the awkward silence.

After awkwardly staring at each other for a bit (You can swear this is becoming a regular thing), you decide to break the tension before it solidifies.

You and Zecora continue to stare at each other in awkward silence. Your eye starts to twitch in annoyance as you think,

I swear to Luna this awkward staring thing is becoming a regular thing now! It's like some sort of running gag in a bad sit-com!

You suddenly feel a sense of irony at your though, but you ignore it as you think,

Wait a second, didn't I make a vow about this a couple days ago?

You suddenly get a flashback to a few days ago...

The two of you stare at each other awkwardly as you hear the TARDIS blink out of time. As you continue to stare at each other you can't help but think,

What is with me and long awkward stares with random ponies? I swear this is like the three-hundredth time this has happen to me. That's it, from now on if I ever get into a long awkward stare I'm just gonna slap myself to stop it. Speaking of which...

Taking your plan to heart, you hold up your hoof and...

*SLAP*

You mentally sigh as you think,

I really need to stop making painful vows. I'm gonna end up making one even stupider that'll end up with me getting killed. Oh well... This is gonna hurt...

You brace yourself for pain as you lift up your hoof and...

*SLAP*

Zecora looks at you in shock as you slap yourself, the force of the slap causing you to spin once. When you finally stop spinning you see Zecora holding back laughter. You give her a annoyed glare as she says...

Zecora takes a moment to compose herself before addressing you. "Greetings pony who has come to see me, I assume you require a remedy." she speaks in rhyme as always "But first I must find out from you, why you wear the clothes you do."
"Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously." you brag about your Doctor's outfit "And two..." you look around. "It helps me stay hidden."
Zecora raises an eyebrow.
"It's me, Bugzy." you explain, to which her eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside.
"So it is true, I should have known that it was you. Since Canterlot you have returned, and many ponies you have spurned." She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues "Though not from your own fault it would seem, a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen."
"Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait. How do you know about that? I thought everyone was affected by that." You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting.
"My mind is a steel cage," she tells you "It would take much more for it to change."

"While that was quite the funny display,
I wonder the purpose of it, if I may?"

You chuckle nervously before you say,

"Oh that... heheheh. You see I made a vow that when ever I get into a awkward staring contest with somelin-I mean somepony, I would slap myself to end the awkwardness. I thought it was a good idea... at the time at least."

Zecora just chuckles at your explanation and says,

"Greetings pony who has come to see me,
I assume you require a remedy.
But first I must find out from you,
why you wear the clothes you do."

She gestures to your Doctor's Outfit (hmmm, that has a nice ring to it). You nod your head with excitement as you say,

"Oh, you mean my disguise. One, because it's awesome, obviously. I mean come on, look at this hat, oh and the scarf, never forget about the scarf. Scarf's are cool."

You gesture to your awesome 7th's Panama hat and the 4th's scarf for emphasis. Zecora just gives you a blank look, unimpressed by your awesome clothes. Your eye twitch's in annoyance as you think,

I swear to Luna one of these day's I'll meet someling who likes my fashion choices!

After making another vow that'll probably bite you in the butt later, you say to Zecora,

"And the other reason is..."

You look around cautiously before leaning in and whispering,

"It helps me stay hidden."

Zecora raises an eyebrow at your statement. You sigh as you lift you hat and lower your scarf and mask as you say,

"It's me, Bugze. The changeling you helped heal almost a year and a half ago."

Zecora's eyes widen and she quickly drags you inside.

"So it is true,
I should have known that it was you.
Since Canterlot you have returned,
and many ponies you have spurned."

She let's you know that she's aware of your "Equestria's most wanted" status, though she doesn't seem to angry about it. She continues,

"Though not from your own fault it would seem,
a trickster's curse, blinding those unkeen."

"Yeah, I swear if Discord ever gets free I'm gonna punch him in the d- Wait a minute..."

You realize that Zecora knows about Discord's mind rewriting.

"How do you know about that? I thought everyling was affected by that."

"My mind is a steel cage,
It would take much more for it to change."

You turn your back to her as you say,

"Well that's nice. At least your not out to kill me-*whack*"

Zecora does some of that sh%$ from the monkey lion king doing staff whacking.
(I don't know how to phrase anything...)
While bugze cries out things along the lines of "Stop", "Quit it" and the immortal "Ow!"

She gives you a whack in the head after you reveal who you are.
You: Ouch, Stop, Ow!
Z: You moronic insensitive jerk! You are some piece of work! How could you get it into your head, to make your friends think you were dead?
You: I had to, it was for the best. I did it to protect everyone. I'm sorry!
She stops whacking you and just shakes her head
Z: You are a very very stupid bug, (she then puts her arms out) Now come here, and give me a hug.
After embracing the mare who just attacked you, you go inside and catch up.

"OW! *whack* OW! *whack* NOT THE FACE! *whack* BUCK! *whack* NOT THERE! (*you can guess where*) *whack* OKAY! BACK TO THE FACE! *whack*!"

These and other words which can't be typed without me getting banned for life from this site are said as Zecora repeatedly whacks you on the head and face with a staff... This is gonna take awhile...

SEVERAL WHACKS TO THE HEAD LATER

Zecora stops her endless assault of her death stick and says to your pained form,

"You moronic insensitive jerk!
You are some piece of work!
How could you get it into your head,
to make your friends think you were dead?"

You shakily get up from the floor as imaginary flying pigs circle your head and you slur,

"I habd to, it fas for the bast. I vid it to protect everylung..."

You shake your head in an attempt to shake off the brain damage as Zecora shakes her head and says,

"You are a very very stupid bug,"

Zecora then drops her staff and then puts her hooves out,

"Now come here, and give me a hug."

You look at her in surprised, before smiling and saying,

"Remind me never to make you mad again. I don't think my skull can take another beat down... well from you at least."

You then hug Zecora back. After a couple of seconds, you and Zecora stop hugging and Zecora says,

"Now on that table my dear friend,
that potion should your pained skull mend."

You nod your head in thanks and stumble over to the table Zecora mentioned. You pick up a black liquid jar and drink it, when...

As you drink it, Zecora enter from the door and look to you.
"I think im late if you drink of that plate" Say Zecora
As you ask what she meaning she tell you that what you drink is a potion that....
E) It was a potion to increase your luck but was incomplete and because of that it give more bad luck that good luck

E) Even more bad luck for Bugze

"No you misguided foo!
Do not drink from that bad brew!"

You stop drinking from the potion and give Zecora a confused look as you ask,

"What do you mean?"

Zecora sighs and says in rhythm,

"That potion you drank was from a bad brew.
Now it will bring bad luck to you."

You gulp in fear as you say,

"How much bad luck we talking here?"

Zecora sighs and says,

"More bad luck than Equestria has of good luck."

You can't help but think

Oh great...

Zecora pats you on the back reassuringly and says,

"Don't fret my friend, there's no need for scares
the effect only last till the day after the Night of Nightmares."

You head drops even more towards the ground as you think,

Oh BUCK...

You then sigh and say,

"It's okay, I'm already Lady Luck's punching bag, what's a potion gonna do?"

You would live to regret those words.

Suddenly, you remember a certain filly that you saw on the way here, so you ask Zecora...

Also, you comment about Applebloom
You: Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you
Z: Oh yes indeed, she came to me in a time of need
You: Is everything all right?
Z: She had a fall and broke a tooth, so I went and fixed it for the poor youth
You: Wait, You Fixed a Broke Tooth?
Z: Yes I did, with this potion in this sack (pulls out bottle), and it speedily regrew her tooth back.
You: Zecora, do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that?
Z: (she looks confused) I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits, but now with this information its... this is just a home remedy. Ponies don't have this, is that what you are telling me?
You: Yep
Z: Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything, I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing. Truly you say, I will receive a lot in pay?
You: Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover as a Doctor with my Grandbuggy
FlashBack
Grandbuggy and you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu, to broken bones was treated the same.
Bed Rest, and soup, and occasionally random Bandages.
G: These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want more bits. Here watch
You: Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think...
Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table while injecting him with different things in needles, seemingly at random, even as the nurse tried to stop him
N: Doctor, please, stop!
G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!
N: Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!!
The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs
G: Oh. My Bad
N: I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!!
G: SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me...
N: Wha...mmff
Then Grandbuggy forcibly kissed her into bliss as you both ran away. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves.
Present
You: And that's how we lost our pretend medical license
Zecora just stares at you in shock
You: (cough) anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place.
Zecora: Perhaps I will do just that, but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat.
You: Well OK, food for thought, anyway, I'll see you around and...(slap your forehead) no wait, I came here for potions.
Get a potion to make NightShade's wings invisible so she doesn't always have to wear the vest,
some healing salves which she calls Estus and gives you in a flask. The stuff smells and tastes like Sunny D.
At some point, she seems confused because she keeps thinking she misplaced a potion of some kind. Heart's Desire or something. She said she was going to give it to a rooster or something.

"Oh and I think I saw Applebloom walking away from here, did she visit you?"

"Oh yes indeed,
she came to me in a time of need."

"Is everything all right?" you ask in concern,

"She had a fall and broke a tooth,
so I went and fixed it for the poor youth."

"Wait, You fixed a broken tooth?"

"Yes I did, with this potion in this sack,"

She pulls out a bottle before continuing,

"and it speedily regrew her tooth back."

You blink at her before asking,

"Zecora... do you realize how rich you'll be if you patent that?"

Zecora looks confused before saying,

"I decided to help Applebloom because she is young and has no bits,
but now with this information its..."

She then starts to look contemplative as she asks,

"This is just a home remedy.
Ponies don't have this, is what you are telling me?"

"Yep."

"Oh wow, with my tonic, I could change everything,
I feel so happy, that I feel I could sing.
Truly you say,
I will receive a lot in pay?"

"Oh heck ya, you're essentially regrowing bone! That's a miracle. Equestrian Healthcare sucks, I should know, I was once undercover with my Grandbuggy in a hospital..."

FLASHBACK TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO

Grandbuggy and a hatchling you watched as every single illness and injury, from the flu to broken bones, was treated the same; Bed rest, soup, and occasionally random Bandages. Grandbuggy was disguised as a dark grey unicorn with black mane, glasses, a pink mustache, and his signature Bowler hat while you were wrapped in bandages because your disguise spell has always sucked. Grandbuggy took you here because you came down with a flu that only ponies normally get, but after seeing more "treatments", Grandbuggy rolls his eyes and says,

"These ponies know nothing, I can fix em up and have em out of here in 10 seconds. They just want to save on bits, Here watch."

"Wait, Grandbuggy I don't think..."

Grandbuggy proceeded to then grab a random pony in the waiting room and slam him on a table before injecting him with random nearby needles even as a nurse tried to stop him,

"Doctor, please, stop-!"

"SHUT UP NURSE!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!" Grandbuggy yelled as he started whacking the "patient" in the face with a fire extinguisher, "It's gonna be okay, cause I'm a doctor! I'm a brained medical professional! Brained? I'm prained in his brain... Drill in his brain? Into the brain. Into the brain! INTO THE BRAIN!!!"

Grandbuggy then raises a drill to jam it into the pony's skull before the nurse grabs his hoof and screams,

"Doctor! This is an intern, not a patient!!!"

The poor intern groaned in pain, even as he giggled at the things only he could see thanks to the drugs.

"Oh. My Bad." Grandbuggy says nonchalantly.

"I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. NOW!!!" The nurse orders sternly.

"SHUT UP NURSE!!! And make out with me..."

"Wha... mmff."

Grandbuggy suddenly grabs the nurse and pulls her into a forceful kiss which she struggles against at first before melting into the bliss. Grandbuggy then abruptly drops the nurse, grabs you, and bolts. Even in his old age, Grandbuggy had moves...

BACK TO THE PRESENT

"And that's how we lost our pretend medical license." you conclude causing Zecora to just stare at you in shock. Snapping out of the flashback, you shake your head and continue,

"Anyway, ya copyright that stuff, and you can move out of this evil scary place."

"Perhaps I will do just that,
but as for moving, I cannot just leave at the drop of a hat."

"Well OK, food for thought anyway, I'll see you around and..."

You facehoof when you remember what you're here for,

"No wait, I came here for potions..."

"4 Transformation potions" (lasts for a week each) Added to Potion Sash
"3 Healing Potions" Added to Potion Sash

You thank Zecora for the potions as you add them to your Potion Sash. You hug Zecora and are about to leave when you ask...

You: So are you gonna come to Nightmare Night
Z: Oh yes I am, and I will see you there, that is if you dare (she chuckles mischeviously) I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare, so on that night, you best prepare.
You: Alrighty then (why is everyone being cryptic all of a sudden?)

"So you gonna come to Nightmare Night?"

Zecora laughs... evilly?

"Oh yes I am, and I will see you there,
that is if you dare.
I will give a presentation, that is sure to scare,
so on that night, you best prepare."

You give your best fake smile as you say,

"Alrighty then! Bye!"

As you leave Zecora's hut and head back towards the Apple farm for you and Nightshade's movie/anime marathon, you can't help but think,

Why is everyling being cryptic all of a sudden? Why can't they just speak straight to the point. What ever happened to 'yes' and 'no'?

ONE TREK LATER

Once you're back at the farm, you walk into the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade. Apple Bloom is there, about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial.
"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?"
"What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?"
She tilts her head. "Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?"
"What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!"
"That's what Aplejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!"
Applejack walks in. "What in tarnation is going on in here?"
"Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?"
"What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?"
"ME? Nothing!" You point at the vial. "I just saw that thing. What even is that?"
Apple Bloom hides the vial behind her back. "It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. A new recipe."
You facehoof. "That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mare!"
BAM!
Applejack slams into you, pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg. "Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!"
Oh, she has no idea what she just said, does she? Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind.
"What?"
Not your smoothest moment, but it makes Applejack think. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology.
So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet...
Shut it!

You arrive at the farm just before sunset, walk into the house, and said Hi to Granny Smith (who was sitting on her rocking chair knitting). You then go to the kitchen to get the popcorn ready for your marathon with Nightshade, when you see Apple Bloom sitting on a chair about to take a drink a purple liquid in a vial. She sees you, and she gets a shocked expression while saying...

"Mr. Tennant! What are you doing here?"

You look at her with a weird expression and say,

"What are YOU doing here? What is that stuff? You aren't drinking from the bottles under the sink, are you?"

She tilts her head in confusion,

"Why would I drink from the bottles under the sink? Are they good?"

You look at her horror while shaking you head back and forth in panic,

"What?! No, no, no! Never drink from the bottles under the sink!"

She tilts her head in confusion some more and says,

"That's what Applejack said about eating all my candy at once last Nightmare Night! I ate it all, and I felt great!"

You facehoof at her logic and are about to say something when Applejack walks in and says,

"What in tarnation is all that racket?"

Applebloom looks at Applejack and asks,

"Applejack, can I drink from the bottles under the sink?"

Applejack looks horrified and says,

"What? NO! B.S., what kind of BS are you telling my sister?"

You stutter, before you get angry and say,

"ME? Nothing!"

You point at the vial and continue,

"I just saw that thing. What even is that?"

Apple Bloom quickly hides the vial behind her back and says,

"It's... something Pinkie Pie gave me. Yeah! A new recipe."

You facehoof.

"That's even worse! You can't trust that crazy mar-!"

*BAM*

Before you could realize what happened, Applejack is suddenly pressing you off your feet and against the wall with a foreleg.

"Why did you say that?! If... if this is going to work I need you to get along with my friends!"

Did she just... Why did... Don't tell me... Is she planning to have me meet... HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA NOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU BAD LUCK POTION AND LADY LUCK, YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE HER KILL ME CAN YOU!

Apple Bloom is looking back and forth between you two in confusion. You panic, and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"What?"

Not your smoothest moment, but it snaps Applejack out of it. She blinks and lets you down, walking away with a blush and mumbled apology.

So THAT'S how all these girls can sweep you off your feet...

Shut it! At least I don't have twisted friendship beliefs!

They're not twisted, there true. I'm your only friend and that's the truth. Now go have fun with our daughter.

After you've concluded your business with Zecora, go back to Sweet Apple Acres just seconds before sundown, borrow the Apple's projector, butter, and salt (although they do express concern over the movies you're allowing Nightshade to watch), and have that marathon with Nightshade in your shed before you both fall asleep on the cot.

You just mutter in annoyance and yell after Applejack,

"Hey! You gonna tell me where the butter, salt, and projector are or are you gonna stuff my head into an oven this time?!"

Applejack just dumbly points in three different directions while continuing to walk away with a blush. Following her hooves, you grab the butter, salt, and projector and head to your shack. You cook the popcorn on the lantern as you set up the projector and put in the Alien/Aliens double-feature reel. When the popcorn is popped, salted, and buttered and the projector is set up, you take Nightshade out of the Inventory, but she wakes up when she smells the hot popcorn. That night was spent with making fun of cliches, screaming in terror at some of the nasty parts, and shouting at the awesome scenes (Nightshade devoured two of the bags of popcorn a third into the opening credits of Alien and you barely managed to stop her from eating the third, claiming it for yourself in spite of her pouting). You two fell asleep on the cot during the Death Notebook marathon.

THE NEXT MORNING

"B.S., GET UP!!!"

You jump out of bed in surprise and shout,

"AHHH HE HAS A CHESTHUGGER ON HIS FACE! KILL IT! KILL HIS ENTIRE FACE WITH FIRE FROM ORBIT! GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME-"

"Not now Mister Tennant! Applebloom needs your help!"

Your fatherly instinct kicks in as you run with Applejack into the house, up the stairs, and towards Applebloom's room. You ram open the door with your shoulder and see...

Applebloom tap dancing while twirling hoops on her tail and nose?

"Ahhhhh?" you say in confused uncertain terror.

Applejack just grabs you and yells,

"Yer a fixer! Fix her!"

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGijsAfeik

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Hey Hive Minders! I have recently come across a site called tvtropes.org, and guess what...The Life of a Wanted Changeling is on it!What is this about? This wiki is a catalog of the tricks of the trade for writing fiction.

Tropes are devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members' minds and expectations. On the whole, tropes are not clichés. The word clichéd means "stereotyped and trite." In other words, dull and uninteresting. We are not looking for dull and uninteresting entries. We are here to recognize tropes and play with them, not to make fun of them.
The wiki is called "TV Tropes" because TV is where we started. Over the course of a few years, our scope has crept out to include other media. Tropes transcend television. They reflect life. Since a lot of art, especially the popular arts, do their best to reflect life, tropes are likely to show up everywhere.

We are not a stuffy encyclopedic wiki. We're a buttload more informal. We encourage breezy language and original thought. There Is No Such Thing As Notability, and no citations are needed. If your entry cannot gather any evidence by the Wiki Magic, it will just wither and die. Until then, though, it will be available through the Main Tropes Index.
We are also not a wiki for bashing things. Once again, we're about celebrating fiction, not showing off how snide and sarcastic we can be.
Enough about what we are not. Go on, have a look at the welcome page, and have fun! (From the site)

I'm putting a link to the The Life of a Wanted Changeling, and I want you guys to add what you think should be on it! Hope you add stuff to it!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheLifeOfAWantedChangeling

Here are the top three Bugze costumes...

(suggested by Kichi) A Changeling- A changelling disguised as a pony disguised as a changelling... no one could think about that. And if someone ask, is only that you are very good with the customs

(Suggested by BrownDog) Subject Delta- I think Bugze should go as Subject Delta from BioShock 2, he could still be part machine with a voice modulater, but it fits his character more of being Overly Protective of NightShade. Plus more Mobility since it has legs and everything.

(Suggested by me) A Dalek- Opportunity to scare the Doctor for everything he's put you through so far.

Only ones suggested, so it's there the top 3. Vote now for Bugzes costumes. BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 23: I'M A FIXER, NOT A DOCTOR DANG-IT!

uuhhh? what needs fixing? what..( sees multiple cutie marks) i must still be dreaming

As Applebloom frantically tapdances, more cutiemarks appearing, her sister lifts you over her head, picks up her sister and starts bashing the two of you together yelling "Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!... Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!"
"Stop that, it's not helping! Get a hold of yourself!" Bugzy screams and slaps her upside the head, to which she gives him a death glare. "Sorry."
"S'all right, just do somethin' quick! Mah sister's gonna get exhausted at this rate!" Applejack begs you.

As Applebloom continues to tap and twirling hops on her nose and tail, you can't help but ask in confusion,

"Uhhhh, what's the problem here Applejack? All I see is Applebloom tap dancing and-*flash*

You stop mid-sentence when something flashes on Applebloom's upper thigh and the next thing you know, Applebloom has another cutie cutie mark! This one of a dumbbell! Out of nowhere Applebloom picks up a weight that wasn't there before and begins to lift it like it was nothing! You can only stare in shock, before you just shake your head and say,

"I... I must be dreaming. When is someling gonna write my name in the Death Notebook? I'd like to wake up screaming no-"*slap*

Your rant is stopped when Applejack slaps you across the face. You would have looked at her in shock, but this wasn't the first (or last) time she's hit you. She gives you a glare before she lifts you over her head, picks up her sister, and starts bashing the two of you together while you repeatedly yell in pain because the dumbbell Applebloom had is still in her mouth, so Applejack keeps smashing your face into it while she starts to yell in the tone of a immature adult,

"Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!... Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!"

Having had enough of Applejack's nonsense you decide to take drastic measures...

*Slap*

You slap Applejack upside her head, causing her to gasp in shock and let go of you and Applebloom. While Applebloom goes back to lifting the weight and tap dancing, you just sigh in relief as you put your Panama hat back on your head as you say,

"Stop that, it's not helping! Get a hold of yourself!"

Applejack shakes off her surprise and gives you her usual death glare. You quake a little in fear at her stare and you quickly mumble a sorry while thinking,

You know, after being on the receiving end of her death glare so often, you think I would be used to it by now...

Applejack stops giving you the stink eye as she sighs and says,

"S'all right, just do somethin' quick! Mah sister's gonna get exhausted at this rate!"

You nod your head in agreement. Usually in these kinds of situations you would be running around in a circle like a headless chicken, but since this is a foal that's in trouble, you need to stay serious. You look back to the tap dancing dumbbell lifting filly in front of you and ask,

"So.... what do we do?"

Applejack gives you a confused expression and says,

"I don't know. You're tha fixer here, so... I don't know... fix her!"

You give her a "Are you kidding me" look before snarking,

Sarcastically ask Applejack why she's not just giving Applebloom bed rest, soup, and random bandages.

Reply: "Just cause I'm dressed like the Doctor doesn't mean I'm A Doctor!"

"Just cause I'm dressed like the Doctor doesn't mean I'm A Doctor! Besides, shouldn't we just put her to bed, give her some soup, and put some bandages around her extra cutie marks. I'm sure she'll be fine in the morning."

Applejack just glares at your sarcasm and says,

"Are ya gonna help or not!?"

You nod your head quickly before you notice another cutie mark pooping up on Applebloom. You begin to freak out when...

Nightshade walks in is excited/jealous that Apple Bloom has a Cutie Mark, but once she realizes the situation is NOT good, she solves the problem by doing what any calm rationally little filly would do:
Nightshade: "Hawokuishibaru!" (Clench your teeth!)
AJ, AB, and/or you: "What?"
Nightshade then proceeds to K.O. Apple Bloom with a Falcon Kick (bonus points if AB slams into Applejack)

Nightshade walks in and says,

"*Yawn* Daddy, what was all that-"

She freezes when she sees Appleblooms cutie marks, she then gasps and says,

"Oh wow you got your cutie mark...s? Daddy, can ponies get more then one cutie marks?"

"Uh, no sweetie. Apple Bloom is just experiencing a problem that I don't know how to fix."

Nightshade nods her head and says,

"I got it!"

She then walks over to Apple Bloom and says,

"Hawokuishibaru!" (Clench your teeth!)

"What?" You and Applejack say before Nightshade declares,

"FALCON KICK!" before her flame-encased hoof slams into Apple Bloom, scattering the things she was holding, and sending her crashing into the wall.

Applejack gasps in shock and screams,

"APPLEBLOOM!"

But before she can check on her, Applebloom suddenly gets two more cutie marks; one is a super buff muscle and the other is a foreign symbol. Applebloom hops back up and says.

"Oh no! Sacrebleu! Plus de marques de cutie! Qu'est-ce c'est?! Je parle prançais?!" (Oh no! Darn it! More cutie marks! What's this?! I speak Prench?!)

"My sister's speakin' in fancy!" Applejack declares.

N: Daddy, I think she's possessed!
You: You're right!
(You turn towards AJ and hold her by the shoulders and scream)
You: I need a young Celestian Priest, and an Old Celestian Priest!
AJ: Now where in the world am I gonna get those this time of night?
You: I DON'T KNOW!!! Fine I'll do it myself, I've done this before
AJ: You Have?
You: Well I watched The Exorcist, so I'm sure I got this
AJ facehooves

"Daddy, I think she's possessed!" Nightshade says,

*ding* "You're right!"

Applebloom tries to say no, but it comes out in the aggressive foreign language.

You turn towards Applejack, grab her by the shoulders, and scream,

"I need a young Celestian Priest, and an Old Celestian Priest!"

"Now where in tarnation am I gonna get those this time of night?"

You throw your hooves into the air dramatically and scream, "I DON'T KNOW!!! Fine I'll do it myself, I've done this before-"

"You Have?" Applejack asks,

"Well I watched The Exorcist and Constanpastern, so I'm sure I got this."

Applejack facehooves, but when she looks back up, you and Nightshade have already tied Applebloom up. She screams in horror,

"What in tarnation are you two do-"

Ignoring her, you and Nightshade pull out two sticks that were in the room and begin to,

You: Unholy Demon who hath infected this child, I call you out, in the Name of the Sun!
Applebloom gets another cutiemark
You: Curse you unholy Abomination, THE SUN SHINES ON ALL! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I CAST YOU OUT!!!! PRAISE THE SUN!!!

"Unholy Demon who hath infected this child, I call you out, in the Name of the Sun! Into the light I command thee!"

Applebloom gets another cutie mark. You begin to chant louder,

"Curse you unholy Abomination, THE SUN SHINES ON ALL! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE SUN COMPELS YOU! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN I CAST YOU OUT!!! INTO THE LIGHT I COMMAND THEE!!!"

Nothing happens, though you hear the DFV groaning in what sounds like pain before she shouts
DFV: Stop It! It's clearly not working, just stop you idiot! (pained/panicked)
Applebloom instead gets a sun cutiemark with a face in it.
AB: Hoho! Let us engage in Jolly Co-operation (she gets a sword out of nowhere and runs towards the door before AJ stops her)
AJ: No you don't young lady, What do we do now?
You: I don't know, I'm out of ideas...wait! Applebloom, did you drink that liquid after I told you not too?
AB: Yes...
You: AHA! I should have known. The Pink Menace did this!
AJ: Pinkie? But why would Pinkie Pie...
You: Applebloom said it was a new recipe, The Pink Psycho is testing it out and will soon unleash it onto the populace.
AJ: That don't make a lick of sense, why would she do that?
You: Because EVIL!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Nothing seems to be happening, although you hear the DFV groaning in what sounds like pain before she shouts,

Stop It! It's clearly not working, just stop you idiot!

You ignore the DFV and are about to repeat the chant when Applebloom gets a sun cutiemark with a face in it.

"Hoho! Let us engage in Jolly Co-operation!" Apple bloom says as a sword pops out of nowhere into her mouth. She uses the sword to slice the ropes off her and she runs past Nightshade towards the door before Applejack grabs her.

"Oh no you don't young lady! What do we do now?"

"I don't know, I'm out of ideas... Wait!"

Realizing something, you ask Apple Bloom,

"Applebloom, did you drink that liquid after I told you not too?"

"Yes..." she says after hesitating for a while.

"AHA! I should have known. The Pink Menace did this!"

"Pinkie? But why would Pinkie Pie-"

"Applebloom said it was a new recipe, right?" you ask rhetorically, "The Pink Psycho is testing it out and will soon unleash it onto the populace!"

"That don't make a lick of sense, why would she do that?"

"Because EVIL!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Applejack and even Nightshade just look at you like you've lost your mind before Applejack says,

"Maybe magic... nah magic won't work."
You suddenly get an idea, but for some reason it won't come to you. So you decide to try and think of it. But you keep getting distracted by Applejack, who keeps walking back and forth
mumbling ideas of how to fix Applebloom. So, you don a Trottingham Highland accent and say,

"Shut up."

Applejack looks at you confused and starts to say something, but you inter-up her by saying,

"Shut up, shut up, shut up. Just shut up. Shuttity up up up, shut up!"

When everyling in the room shuts up, you then ask her,

"What did you say?"

She mumbles in confusion, which causes you to yell,

"SPEAK YOU BACKWARDS MARE! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

She then back up a bit at your outburst and says,

"I... I said magic wo-"

You cut her off and say,

"That's it... magic! Magic, magic, magic. Where have I... Ah ha!"

You suddenly get a flashback to one of your Grandbuggys great words of wisdom,

You see Apple Bloom with that strange ill or problem and you try a healing potion in Apple Bloom, but it don't work. After you see it don't work, you decide to try to search for the great wise of your Grandbuggy
Flashback
You remember one time you and your grandbuggy worked foalsitting
GB: Ahhh!!!! He is infected with magic!!!
B: What? Is only a little cold, I think he only need a little of dandelion soup and rest
GB: Idiot! That don't work! Magic must defeat Magic!
Say your grandbuggy and take out a strange mask, similar to the ones in Zecora house as he begin to do a strange dance around the poor foal and try a strange purple potion in the poor foal
End of Flashback
You take out the image of the Grandbuggy, and you think...
"I can only fix something physical... Give me something broken and I could try to fix it... This is magic! As my Grandbug... I mean, grandpony say... Magic Must defeat magic!" Say Bugzee
"I told you, but you didn't listen!" Say Granny Smith
"Yeah... Yeah... So... Magic?" Ask Applejack
"Magic" You answer
Is then that you follow Applejack to the library, the little piece of Tartarus that is the home of that evil unicorn.

You remember one time you and your grandbuggy worked foalsitting,

"Ahhh!!!! He is infected with magic!!!" Grandbuggy screams.

"What? It's only a little cold grandbuggy, I think he only need a little of dandelion soup and rest-"

"Idiot! That don't work! Magic must defeat Magic!"

Grandbuggy snaps before he takes out a strange mask similar to the ones in Zecora house as he begin to do a strange dance around the poor foal and try a strange purple potion on him. After awhile, a strange green blob came out of the foal's mouth. Grandbuggy smiled at his work and said,

"See #$#%%$ that's how you exco-"

"Uh Grandbuggy?"

"Huh? Yes @#$3?"

"What happens if the magic starts to come to life?"

"Oh that's simple, we run like Tarturus."

You point behind him to show that the green blob of magic is now glowing and has red eyes. Grandbuggy looks at it for a while before turning back to you while whistling,

"Woooo...didn't see that coming."

...

"RUN!"

BACK TO THE PRESENT

You pace back and forth and make wild hoof gestures as everypony in the room looks at you strangely while you ramble,

"I can only fix something physical... Give me something broken and I could try to fix it... This is magic! As my Grandbug... I mean, grandpony says... Magic Must defeat magic!"

"I told you, but you didn't listen!" Granny Smith yells from downstairs,

You can't help but think,

What the? How did she hear us? Where upstairs and shes downstairs-never mind. Tell plan now, think about how a elder heard us later.

With reluctance, you explain your plan,

"Your friend Twilight is some sort of magic expert, right?"

"Well Twi is the element of magic-"

"Whatever, the point is she could know what's wrong with Apple Bloom and how to fix it!"

"By tarnation, yer right!" Applejack exclaims as she hugs you before grabbing Apple Bloom and taking her to Twilight's. When she leaves the room, you have Nightshade hop back into the Inventory, run after Applejack and say,

"Good, you guys find the cure, I' gonna go to the pony who made this magical potion disease. EVILLLLLL!"

You then run off in an opposite direction...

AJ: Wait Tennant! Grrr, that ain't gonna end well
AB: Pinkie can handle herself, please sis, I'm begging you help me
AJ: Fine, we'll get Twilight.

"Wait Tennant! Grrr, that ain't gonna end well." Applejack growls,

"Pinkie can handle herself, please sis, I'm begging you, help me!"

"Fine, lets get to Twilights!" Applejack declares as she gallops towards the library.

AT SUGARCUBE CORNER A FEW HOURS LATER

You kick down the door to Sugar Cube Corner and rush in.
You: Pink Menace! I call you out
Suddenly the lights come on
P: Surprise
You: Gaaahhh!!! (you fall back in fear, apparently she set up a party for you)
P: Hi, My Pinkie Sense told me someone was coming to surprise me, so I decided to surprise them first. Were you surprised? Were You?
You: Eee...heh heh(catching breath...viill
P: Hee Hee, no I'm Pinkie Pie. You came looking for a job, but I said we weren't hiring, but then I tried to throw a party for you since you were new, but you growled and said no and called me mean names and made me cry, but then I figured you were just having a bad day, but I still felt sad so I had Applejack pelt you with Apples and call it Dodge training, so now we're even, and look you finally came to your party!!!
You: I...What?
P: We also worked together to win the Apple Cider contest, nice moves by the way, and then you made Dashie cry, but then you were nice and made her like you a lot and you made AJ jealous and then we had more cider and...(you shove your hoof in her mouth)

After a few hours of running around town looking for Sugarcube Corner (your sense of direction is almost as bad as Zoro's) you kick down the door to Sugar Cube Corner and rush in screaming,

"Pink Menace I call the out, put thou hands in thi air and *Ahem* dang what was with that ye olden talk, why-!"

Suddenly the lights come on and a pink form pops up right in your face!

"SURPRISE!"

"Gaaahhh!!!"

You fall back in fear, not noticing the cake and "Welcome to Ponyville" Banner.

"Hi, My Pinkie Sense told me someone was coming to surprise me, so I decided to surprise them first. Were you surprised? Were You?"

"Eee... heh heh... viill" you gasp while trying to catch your breath.

"Hee Hee, no I'm Pinkie Pie. You came looking for a job, but I said we weren't hiring, but then I tried to throw a party for you since you were new, but you growled and said no and called me mean names that made me sad before leaving, but then I figured you were just having a bad day, but I still felt sad so I had Applejack pelt you with Apples and call it 'Dodge training', so now we're even and look you finally came to your party!!!"

"I... What?" you say in confusion, but Pinkie just continues rambling.

"Normally Mr. Cake would come down and yell at me to be quiet since Mrs. Cake is pregnant, but since they're visiting Mr. Cake's parents for the next few days, WE CAN BE AS LOUD AS WE WANT! We also worked together to win the Apple Cider contest, nice moves by the way, and then you made Dashie cry, but then you were nice and made her like you a lot and you made AJ jealous and then we had more cider and-mmph!"

You roughly jam your hoof into Pinkie's mouth to shut her up and scream in the Royal Canterlot Voice,

"QUIET!"

You: Alright, enough talking Psycho, you are going to pay for your crimes. WHY DID YOU POISON APPLEBLOOM!
P: (GASP) I POISONED APPLEBLOOM?! OH NO! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?! Wait, I haven't seen Applebloom since her friends brought her in for a party to cheer her up, but it didn't work.
You: Liar, she drank a purple liquid that she said she got from you and that it was your new recipe, and now she's growing cutiemarks and can't stop!
P: I did? I don't remember doing that. But if she says it was me, then I must've
You: That's right, and I'm here to stop you before you infect the others and take over Equestria with your insane hoof
P: Oh NO! What kind of Monster am I? I must be stopped! Take me in, please!
You: I won't stop untill...wait, huh?
P: Take me in.
You: ...I kind of thought we would battle or something
P: Why? If I'm making horrible super weapons and not remembering them then I need help before I hurt anyone else.
You: Oh...Well...OK Then let's...
You both hear a scream outside
P: Oh NO! What Have I done now?
You both look outside and see ponies running away in fear, and some with Hazmat suits on as Applebloom keeps doing different things and is covered in CutieMarks

"Alright, enough talking Psycho! You are going to pay for your crimes. WHY DID YOU POISON APPLEBLOOM?!"

Pinkie gasps in horror as she recoils from your hoof,

"I POISONED APPLEBLOOM?! OH NO! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?! Wait, I haven't seen Applebloom since her friends brought her in for a party to cheer her up, but it didn't work."

"Liar, she drank a purple liquid that she said she got from you and that it was your new recipe, and now she's growing Cutie Marks and can't stop!" you accuse.

"I did? I don't remember doing that. But if she says it was me, then I must've-"

"That's right," you interrupt "and I'm here to stop you before you infect the others and take over Equestria with your insane plan to turn them all into cupcakes and wear their leftover skin!"

"Oh NO! What kind of Monster am I? I must be stopped! Take me in, please!"

"I won't stop until- wait, huh?" you say in confusion,

"Take me in." Pinkie says as she shamefully puts her head down and offers her hooves.

You stand there in confusion and subconsciously reach for hoof-cuffs when you remember,

Uh... wait. I don't have any cuffs!

Shaking your head to snap you out of it, you say,

"Really? I kinda thought you would start ranting about your plans before sucker-punching me and jumping out that window so we would have some climactic carriage chase that destroys half the town before we engage in a one-on-one brawl which ends with you standing over me about to bring down the knife onto my skull before my partner pulls a 'Big Darn Heroes' and shoots you in the back of the head and then either me or her spouts off some awesome one-liner as your lifeless body falls over?"

"Why? If I'm making horrible super weapons and not remembering them then I need help before I hurt anyone else."

"Oh... Well... Anticlimactic, but OK. Then let's..."

You're about to take out your duct tape when both hear a scream outside,

"Oh NO! What Have I done now?"

You both rush to a window, look outside, and see ponies running away in fear (some with Hazmat suits on) as Applebloom keeps doing different things and is covered in Cutie Marks. You see Zecora, Applejack, and Twilight standing in the middle of the road...

You drag Pinkie to AJ, Twilight and Zecora who explains that the Cutie Pox vaccine is through a flower that only blooms with truth.
You: Alright then, Confess you fiend
P: It's true, I poisoned her and was planning on doing the same thing to the town even though I don't remember it...(she turns to you) right?
You: Right
Pinkie: Forgive me! (starts bawling)
The Flower doesn't bloom
AJ: Pinkie, only the truth will make this flower grow
You: That wasn't the truth?
P: I'm not a super genius criminal mastermind? Yay!
You: Dang it! So Close!

You rush out of Sugarcube Corner and drag Pinkie to Applejack, Twilight and Zecora who all look at you in shock,

"Mister Tennnat! What are you doing?" Twilight asks in shock,

"Not much, just capturing a psycho criminal mastermind- Oh hi Zecora, what're you doing here?"

"I was walking along like a fox,
when I heard this business of the Cutie Pox."

"Cutie Pox?" you ask in confusion

That disease sounds familiar, but it was probably ANOTHER class I either skipped or slept through... DARN YOU LAZY PAST ME!!!

"it's a puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the paleopony period!"

"Heh, say that ten times fast!" you snark.

"I already used that joke!" you hear Spike yell in the distance. Twilight rolls her eyes in annoyance and says,

"Apple Bloom has it, but Zecora thinks she has the cure!"

"Good, good, good! Ahhh. Great!" you say.

...

"What is it?" you ask Zecora.

"As I have already said before,
so pay attention for I will repeat no more;
A cutie pox cure I have forsooth,
for healing power is in the Seeds of Truth.
These seeds must be planted in the ground.
With the truth, they'll grow, and the cure is found.
The Seeds of Truth do hold the cure,
but one must speak words, true and pure."

"Alright then, Confess you fiend!" you say as you roughly push Pinkie towards the trio causing Applejack and Twilight to scowl at you.

"It's true, I poisoned her and was planning on doing the same thing to the town even though I don't remember it... (she turns to you) right?"

"Right." you say as their scowls at your quickly turn into shocked looks at Pinkie.

"Forgive me!" (starts bawling) "Just make it stop! Oh, make it stop!"

The Flower doesn't bloom.

"Pinkie, only the truth will make this flower grow." Applejack says.

"That wasn't the truth?" You ask in disbelief.

"I'm not a super genius criminal mastermind who want to turn ponies into cupcakes and wear their skin? Yay!"

Pinkie jumps up in the air and freezes in the air like in those old sit-com serials as you mutter,

"Luna darnit! So close!"

Twilight looks at you suspiciously, but you quickly nervously chuckle it off as everypony starts to say the truths,

"I once burned a book and never told anypony." said Twilight

"I drink all the cider before cider season started last year on a dare from Rainbow Dash!" said Applejack

"I ate all the cakes the Fillydelphian Royal Guard got back from that meanie old ugly Hooded Offender and blamed it on him!" said Pinkie

Hey! I am not ugly! And they say I'm the bad guy, yet you did that! I have half a mind to-Gah never mind. I need to think of something to say since now everyling is staring at me to say something...

So...

The seeds of truth Zecora planted aren't sprouting! Ponies have been saying the truth, but nothing's happening!
Tell them you don't want to mate with Applejack.
I'm not going to say that!
So you DO want to mate with Applejack?
No! She's right there! And so are her hooves. And my face isn't far enough away from them.
Very well. Call Celestia a fat flank.
"I'm not going to call Celestia a fat flank!"
You freeze, realizing you just said that out loud. Incredibly, a stem of a flower grows from the ground.
Twilight gasps. "Discord's magic must still be taking an effect! The seeds of truth will only grow from lies now! Keep going, Mr. Tennant!"
You gulp. "Uh, my daughter was born in an alternate dimension inside my saddle bags?"
The flower grows again.
"I'm living my life indebted to a time machine riding immortal being!"
The flower begins to bloom.
"I once beat Contra without using the thirty lives cheat!"
The flower blooms in full, and you die a little inside, knowing that everypony will think that was a lie. No one will ever know your true greatness.

Tell them you don't wish to mate with Applejack. the DFV suddenly says,

What? I'm not going to say that!

So you DO want to mate with Applejack?

No! She's right there! And so are her hooves. And my face isn't far enough away from them. Although she does have really well-toned leg- NO! BAD BUG!!!

Very well. Call the false sun "goddess" a fat flank...

"I'm not going to call Celestia a fat flank!"

You freeze and throw your hooves over your mouth hidden beneath the face mask and scarf, realizing you just said that out loud. Incredibly, a stem of a flower sprouts from the ground,
Twilight gasps,

"Discord's magic must still be taking an effect! The seeds of truth will only grow from lies now! Keep going, Mr. Tennant!"

You gulp.

"Uh, my daughter was born in an alternate dimension inside my saddle bags?"

The flower grows again.

"I'm HUGELY in debt to a time machine-riding immortal madman of a alien!"

"I blinked in front of a Weeping Pegasus and lived!"

"I'm Equestria's Most Wanted!"

"I'm banned from the Isla de Pelegostos Island, Freddy Fuzzbear's Pizza, and Olive Grotto!"

"Applejack is a dumb flank." (this got you a scowl from the cowpony)

"My Grandpony once got us chased by a zillion mares cause he was trying to teach me how to make a "flank call"."

"I once beat Contra before breakfast without using the thirty lives cheat!"

The flower grows and blooms more with every "lie" and you die a little inside, knowing that Nopony will ever know your true greatness...

When the flower blooms, Zecora plucks the seed for the potion and thanks you. The After all the ponies leave and congratulate Bugze for getting the bud to grow, Bugze thinks in sadness,

Why is it that all MY truths are the only ones that worked? Now everyling thinks they're lies. I really hate that bad luck potion and Lady luck.

You are about to walk away when the plant suddenly starts to grow. You back away in shock when the plant spells out

"THE NIGHTMARE COMES"

Then, the plant suddenly burst into flames! You stare at it with fear and shock and can only think,

Holy mother of Luna... Doctor needs to know about this... Now!

Your about to take out a notebook to write the Doctor a note, when Applejack shouts,

"Come on Hon-I mean Mister Tennant! Ah need ya help making sure Applebloom doesn't hurt herself while Zecora can make the cure!"

You sigh and are about to respond when,

"I'm on it!"

You look down in surprise to see Nightshade out of the Inventory and heading towards Apple Bloom with intent to try another Falcon Kick.

"Oh no you don't!" you say as you grab your daughter in time.

That note will have to wait till later...

HALF AN HOUR LATER

You sigh for the millionth time time that day as you think,

Why me...

After Applebloom was cured and wrote a letter to Solar Flank, she and Nightshade ran off with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Applejack then said that since it's a Friday and the schoolhouse was closed due to the whole "Cutie Pox" scare, your "job" for the rest of the day is to watch over the little ones. It's not that you don't mind watching them, it's just that you were hoping to finish that movie/anime marathon with Nightshade later. You smile a little as you watch Nightshade and the CMC rushing towards the apple field laughing and having fun. You can't help but think,

Oh well, how bad can it b-

You quickly stop when you realize you almost thought the cliche that guarantees bad luck. Unnoticed by you, a evil, female voice, laughs in the distance, and thunder ring's throughout the area. You get a shiver down your spin and you can't help but think,

Why do I get the feeling that I just jinxed myself... again

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here.

And the votes are in. Bugzes costume for Nightmare Night is...

Subject Delta from Bioshock 2!

Here's the votes

Subject Delta- 6

Changeling- 4

Dalek- 2

So, looks like BrownDog's idea costume. Bugze will be going as Subject Delta!

Today's question is

Which Doctor who enemy do you think Bugze will meet first?

Come on, He's already meant a Weeping Pegasus, but what Doctor who enemy do you think he will meet next? It's bound to happen, after all

The Doctors enemies follow him where ever he goes...

BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 24: The CMC...Are A Pain In The Flank.

You shiver with foreboding at your apparent jinx.
DFV: So you felt it too? That is...unsettling
You: What? What is it?
DFV: Something powerful enough to cause even a weakling such as you to feel it's presence...Something wicked this way comes.
You: Ya? I figured as much, Ponyville just seems to be a beacon for all things unholy and evil. I'll just deal with it like always.
DFV: Agreed, you best keep Night Shade close, keep her safe
You: Don't I always? Besides, I'm starting to get a little creeped out about how much "Caring" you seem to be showing towards her.
DFV: Should a mother not care for her child?
You: Well it wasn't that long ago that you were referring to her as a tool in order for me to take vengeance, so ya, no mother of the year awards for you.
DFV: I've always wanted her safe, even if my reasons have changed since I've been trapped in your feeble mind. I do care for her greatly.
You: Sure you do (sarcastically)
DFV: I DO! And if you want to continue caring for her yourself, then you should get those girls away from that bridge!
You: What are you...(see's CMC on bridge with bungee cords around them)
CMC: CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS YAY!!!
You: Whoa! NO NO NO NO!!! (you grab them all before they jump) cut that out
CMC: Awwwww

You shiver with foreboding doom at the apparent laughing jinx you swore you heard a few moments ago.

So you felt it too? That is... unsettling

You flinch at hearing the dark whisper and mentally respond,

What? What is it?

Something powerful enough to cause even a weakling such as you to feel it's presence... By the pricking of my hoof, something wicked this way comes...

Yeah? I figured as much, Ponyville just seems to be a beacon for all things unholy and evil. I'll just deal with it like I always do...

Running around like an imbecile before I need to bail you out? the DFV scoffs, Regardless, you better keep Nightshade close, keep her safe.

Ignoring her insult, you respond,

Don't I always? Besides, I'm starting to get a little creeped out about how much "Caring" you seem to be showing towards her.

Should a mother not care for her child?

Well, it wasn't that long ago that you were referring to her as a mere tool of vengeance, so ya, no mother of the year award for you anytime soon.

I've always wanted her safe, even if my reasons have more-or-less changed since I've been trapped in your feeble mind. I do care for her greatly.

Sure you do, and I'm the king of Equestria. you snark.

I DO! And if you wish to continue caring for her yourself, then you should get those girls away from that bridge!

What are you-

You stop and your eyes widen in shock when you see the Cutie Mark Crusaders on the edge of a bridge with bungee cords around them.

"CUTIEMARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS YAY!!!"

"Whoa! NO NO NO NO!!!" You yell as you rush over and grab all four of the fillies before they could splatter themselves.

"Cut that out!"

"Awwwww..." the four say in disappointment.

With a roll of your eyes, you go look for a tree with decent shade to relax under. You found a suitable tree a few seconds later, but before you could relax you hear...

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MAD SCIENTISTS!!! YAY!!!

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MAD SCIENTISTS!!! YAY!!!"

You look over at the CMC and Nightshade in horror and see them wearing labcoats while being surrounded by jars of chemicals. You think,

WHERE IN THE NAME OF LUNA DID THEY GET THOSE CHEMICALS!? And is that... IS THAT LIQUID NITROGEN! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OWNS LIQUID NITROGEN!

Sweetie Belle is about to put her hoof into the liquid nitrogen, so you desperately dash over there just in time to you slap the bottle away from the girls (sadly, this resulted in an early winter for an anthill nearby). You glare at the fillies with disappointment as you say,

"That would have to be the most dumbflank thing I have ever seen, and trust me when I say I've seen and done alot of dumbflank things!"

The time I slept though the "Fake Being a Parent" lesson comes to mind. You think to yourself in a deadpanned tone.

The fillies give ashamed looks as they look down and say,

"We're sorry."

You sigh in relief as you say,

"Good... now let's go somewhere where you won't be near any dangerous chemicals. Also, you better return all this equipment back to the rightful owner. Okay?"

They nod their heads and say,

"Okay!"

They walk away with the chemical equipment in hoof (hopefully to return the equipment) as you sigh and are about to go after them to make sure they don't cause anymore trouble, when you see...

And later you come across a sad looking Pinkie Pie.
You: ummm Hey
P: ...
You: Do you need something?
P: ...
You: OK then, well I guess I'll
P: Why?
You: Huh?
P: Why did you accuse me of being a murderer?
You: Oh well because...(You have no good reason)
P: I mean, what was all that about yesterday?
You: Uhh...
P: I mean, I know you don't like me very much for some reason, but why would you say such a hurtful thing?
You: Well, I guess I was just... overreacting?
P: Overreacting...OVERREACTING!!!
You get a little scared
P: You made me confess that I was gonna skin ponies and make them into cupcakes. That's not funny! That's...I don't even know what that is!
You: Umm...
P: It was all kind of silly in hindsight, but everypony heard me say that, and the flower didn't bloom!
You: Oh...
P: It bloomed for all your "lies" but not that obvious one...Now some ponies think I'm gonna make them into cupcakes (starts sniffling)
You: I'm...I'm sorry... I just got carried away.
P: I could never do such a thing, to anypony or anything... So why didn't the flower bloom? (starts crying) Is there a part of me that was telling the truth? (Starts Bawling)
You: (thinking) Luna Dang It! Why do I keep making Mares cry? Grrr...curse you conscience and your real world consequences. Time for operation hug first, be enemies again later. Sigh.
You hug her and pat her on the back and keep telling her how sorry you were.
You: Hey Hey, I'm pretty sure that you were just confused
P: But I am confused...
You: Er...More so than usual, I must have convinced a part of you that what you said was the truth and that you somewhat believed it. That's why the flower didn't bloom.
P: (Sniffles) I guess that makes sense, I mean the alternative would be that all your lies were the truth and that you were actually Equestria's most wanted and IE the meanie pants the Hooded Offender in disguise...
You gulp
P: But then again, Nopony can beat Contra without the 30 lives cheat...although that colt Button Mash almost did once...
You: Grrrr...Listen, how can I make this up to you.
P: Oh there is one way you can (she says in a conspiratorial whisper with half lidded eyes)
You: (In your head) Oh Sweet Tartarus, please don't let this one be hitting on me too!
P: A PARTY!!!
You: OH THANK GOODNESS! Oh Wait...No...
P: You come to a party of mine where you apologize for what you did to me and so everypony can get to know you and your daughter better!
You: umm...Is there anything else I could possibly do?
Pinkie Pie gets a serious scary face on
P: COME...TO...THE...PARTY!!!
You: Yes maam!
P: Great! See ya tonight. lalalalalalala(bounces away)
DFV: Oh thank the Darkness she's gone, that one unsettles me...
You: You're telling me.

A sad-looking Pinkie Pie sitting by herself and sniffling. Your gut tells you to ignore the Pink psycho and the DFV encourages you to revel in her sorrow, but your conscience won't shut up. So you decide to go and try to cheer her up before chibi-Nightshade and evil looking Luna pop up.

"Ummm, Hey..." you say hesitantly.

Pinkie doesn't seem to notice you.

"Do you need something?"

Pinkie just continues to sniffle.

"OK then, well I guess I'll-"

"Why?" she suddenly asks, head still looking down.

"Huh?"

"Why did you accuse me of being a murderer?"

"Oh well because... Yeah... I have no good reason at the moment..." you respond sheepishly.

"I mean, what was all that about yesterday?"

"Uhh..."

Pinkie turns towards you,

"I mean, I know you don't like me very much for some reason, but why would you say such a hurtful thing?"

"Well, I guess I was just... overreacting?"

"Overreacting...OVERREACTING!!!" Pinkie yells causing you to get a little scared.

"You made me confess that I was gonna skin ponies and make them into cupcakes! That's not funny! That's... I don't even know what that is!"

"Umm..."

"It was all kind of silly in hindsight, but everypony heard me say that, and the flower didn't bloom!"

"Oh..." you respond guiltily.

"I mean, it bloomed for all your "lies" but not that obvious one... Now some ponies actually believe I'm gonna make them into cupcakes..." she sniffles,

"I'm... I'm sorry... I just got carried away."

"I could never do such a thing, to anypony or anything... So why didn't the flower bloom? Is there a part of me that was telling the truth?"

Pinkie then starts bawling as you think in anger,

Luna Dang It! Why do I keep making Mares cry? Grrr... Curse you conscience and your real world consequences! Time for operation hug first, be enemies again later...

You hug Pinkie, pat her on the back and say,

"Hey Hey, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that you were just confused..."

"But I am confused..."

"Er... More so than usual. I must have convinced a part of you that what you said was the truth and that you somewhat believed it. That's why the flower didn't bloom."

Pinkie calms down and says,

"I guess that makes sense, I mean the alternative would be that all your lies were the truth and that you were actually Equestria's most wanted, IE the meanie pants the Hooded Offender in disguise..."

You gulp nervously, but Pinkie doesn't notice as she continues,

"But then again, Nopony can beat Contra without the 30 lives cheat... Although that colt Button Mash almost did once..."

You briefly growl in annoyance at the thought of noling ever realizing your video game greatness before you say,

"Listen, how can I make this up to you?"

"Oh there is one way you can..." she says in a conspiratorial whisper with half lidded eyes...

Oh Sweet Tartarus, please don't let this one be hitting on me too! Although imagine how much of a legend I'd be if I somehow got all the Deadly Six at onc-BAD BUG, NOT NOW!

"A PARTY!!!"

OH THANK GOODNESS! Oh Wait... No...

"You come to a party of mine where you apologize for what you did to me and so everypony can get to know you and your daughter better!"

"Umm...Is there anything else I could possibly do?" you say half-pleadingly.

Pinkie Pie suddenly gets a serious scary face on as she says with emphasis,

"Come. To. The. PARTY!"

"Yes ma'am!" you blurt out in panic, but as soon as you said that you hear something that makes you freeze in horror...

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ANARCHISTS!!! YAY!!!

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ANARCHISTS!!! YAY!!!"

You yelp in panic and scream,

"OH NO THEY DON'T"

You run to where you heard the fillies and scream back to Pinkie,

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM SAY THAT! I SWEAR! I BLAME BAD PARENTING! Wait, that would be blaming me... I BLAME THE MEDIA BLAMERS!"

Pinkie waves at your retreating form before she hops away while chanting "lalalalallalal..."

45 MINUTES LATER

After running around Ponyville looking for the foals, you see them standing near a crate of fuse bombs and Molotov Cocktails while wearing different outfits.
Nightshade is wearing a purple longcoat along with white make-up with blackened eyes and red paint smeared on her mouth, Sweetie Belle has a black cape, a black hat, and a Guy Fox mask, Scootaloo is wearing a red hooded jacket with a white Anarchy "A" sprayed on along with a whitish-gold mask, and Apple Bloom is just wearing greenish-gray robes. They are about to start hurling explosives at the Ponyville Library when you dive in just in time and tackle the would-be bomb-throwing anarchists.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BUCKING MINDS!" you scream in worry.

"But Mistah Tennant, books cause reading, reading makes knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, so that means books are evil!"

"There's only one sane solution: BLOW IT UP!" Nightshade adds.

"I'm doing this cause I hate homework." Scootaloo comments.

You facehoof in exasperation and say,

"Look, just take off the dumb outfits. Your not gonna blow up the library. I'm already in enough deep trouble with Twilight, I don't need blowing up my home added to the list."

You mutter that last part to yourself.

The fillies sigh and take off the outfits, and Nightshade rubs off the make-up. You send them to sit and stare at a tree in time-out. As they do this, you look at the box of explosives and think,

As for this stuff...

You look around, before you stuff them into your potion sash

You never know when explosives will come in hoofy...

"3 Fuse Bombs" Added to the Potion Sash
"5 Molotov Cocktails" Added to the Potion Sash

With that you walk over to the fillies to berate them

A FEW HOURS LATER

You took them to the park, but for the past couple of hours you've had to stop them form doing the most idiotic things like mercenaries, mobsters, and muggers. But it seems they've finally ran out of energy, as now they're just relaxing on a bench watching the clouds. You took this time to relax and try to answer an important question...

Stop the presses, Nightshade and the CMC aren't doing anything dangerous right now. They're just lying in a field together, watching the clouds roll by. You take this moment of silence to compose yourself and try to answer a very important question.
Is there a way to avoid being skinned alive by all the mares crushing on you?
Taking a page out of the evil Twilight Sparkle's playbook, you try to get your thoughts organized. You sit down and start writing things down about the mares you know.
Applejack- PROS: Well-toned legs. Like ridiculously well-toned legs. I want to feel them wrapped around Moving on. CONS: She will not hesitate to slaughter the real me where I stand. And she's possibly a blood relative.
Rainbow Dash- PROS: She's pretty, I'll give her that. The hair color is actually kind of cool. And she's really athletic. I wonder how flexible she can be in MOVING ON, BUGZE. CONS: She wants me dead, too. And there still might be something to my filly fooler taunts.
Vinyl Scratch- PROS: She actually likes the real me, but the girl is slightly insane. Wow, what does that say about the mares I know when the one that offered a three-way with me the first time we met is only slightly insane? Anyway, she seems to be down for anything. Maybe she'd let me BAD BUG! CONS: Slightly insane is still insane. She seems to be down for anything, which could backfire horribly.
Octavia- PROS: She's really a more insane Vinyl Scratch, for both good and bad. Dedicated to me, but to the point of creepiness.
You're deluding yourself.
The DFV snaps you out of your thoughts. Where did that come from?
Look at your list, fool. Oh, "The real me!" The first two like this Tennant character you're playing, and the last two favor the Hooded Offender. Maybe you should find one that likes Bugze?
That actually sounds like you know what you're talking about. But... they're all Bugze. The Offender, Tennant, they're both me. Aren't they? Before the DFV can respond, the words on your page flash. Oh buck me, did I write this in the Doctor's notebook?
Oh my. And he's immortal, too. You will literally never live this down.
Shut up!
A thousand years from now, he'll have a new assistant, and he'll tell them about the time some fool sent him a list of potential romantic conquests.
Shut! Up!

Is there a way to avoid being chained to a basement bed by one of these mares crushing on you?

Taking a page out of the evil Twilight Sparkle's playbook, you take out the notebook and pen from the Inventory and start writing down what you know about the mares in an attempt to get your head straight.

Applejack
-PROS: Hard worker. Good cook. Well-toned legs. Like ridiculously well-toned legs. I want to feel them wrapped around Moving on.
CONS: She will not hesitate to slaughter the real me where I stand. Not that smart (and that's me saying that). Possibly a blood relative.

Rainbow Dash
-PROS: She's pretty, I'll give her that. The hair color is actually kind of cool (only 20% cool, but still...). And she's really athletic. I wonder how flexible she can be in MOVING ON, BUGZE.
-CONS: She wants me dead, too. And there still might be something to my fillyfooler taunts...

Vinyl Scratch
-PROS: A good DJ and she actually likes the real me, but the girl is slightly insane. Wow, what does that say about the mares I know when the one that offered a threesome with me the first time we met is only slightly insane? Anyway, she seems to be down for anything. Maybe she'd let me BAD BUG!
-CONS: Slightly insane is still insane. She seems to be down for anything, which could backfire horribly. Plus she seems like a flirt and not serious.

Octavia
-PROS: Talented classical musician, attractive in that refined way, genuinely likes the Hooded Offender due to "him" saving her life and isn't just another crazed fanfilly, would jump at the chance to jump on my GAH! THERE'S FOALS NEARBY!
-CONS: Dedicated to me, but probably to the point of creepiness-

You're deluding yourself.

The DFV snaps you out of your thoughts and you mentally snap,

What do you want?

Look at your list, fool. Oh, "The real me!" The first two like this Tennant character you're playing, and the last two favor the Hooded Offender. Maybe you should find one that likes the incompetent insect?

That actually sounds like you know what you're talking about. But... they're all Bugze. The Offender, Tennant, they're both me. Aren't they?

Before the DFV can respond, the words on your page flash.

Oh buck me, did I write this in the Doctor's notebook?

Oh my. And he's immortal, too. You will literally never live this down.

Shut up!

A thousand years from now, he'll have a new assistant, and he'll tell them about the time some fool sent him a list of potential romantic conquests-

Shut! Up! And their Companions, not Assistants!

MEANWHILE ON THE TARDIS

The Doctor looks at his psychic paper and comments,

"Huh? Now what could Bugze have sent me this ti- BWAHAHAHAHAHAH OH THAT'S BLOODY BRILLIANT! BWAHHAHAH!"

The Doctor falls over in a laughing fit as Derpy walks over to the Doctor and asks,

"What's so funny Doctor? Did Bugze tell another really funny joke?"

The Doctor looks over to Derpy, barely able to hold back laughter, and says

"Oh no no no Hahhaha... He... hahahah... Oh just bloody look."

The Doctor hoofs over the Psychic Paper to Derpy who looks at it confused while the Doctor waits for her to laugh as well. Derpy just gets a confused look as she asks,

"Why am I not on this list?"

"Bwahahahahh-wait... What?!"

BACK TO PONYVILLE

After that...embarrassing realization. You notice that Pinkie's party for you is about to begin (by that, you mean a rock was just thrown at you head that had the words "Party time" on it, so you guess it was time for the party). You decide to worry about the Doctor now having blackmail on you for the next few centuries later, as you have to get to that party. You call over to the CMC and Nightshade and head towards Sugarcube Corner...

AT SUGARCUBE CORNER

You and the fillies walk into the restaurant. All the lights are off and you can't see a stinking thing. You wave your hoof in the air to find a light switch while thinking,

This is weird, I thought that rock said it was party ti-

Suddenly the lights turn on and a bunch of voices shout,

"SURPRISE!"

You jump back in fright pointing a hoof at them, shouting,

"IT'S A TRAP!"

You hear the CMC and Nightshade giggle next to you, and you start to blush in embarrassment. The party goers seem to have ignored your outburst, and have already began to mingle. You cough a few times and think awkwardly,

Okay... I"m at my own party... What the hay do I do now?

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Sorry this chapter was late, but as I said before, my birthday was yesterday and I had a party. It ended pretty late and I fell asleep before I could put in the edited version in. So sorry about that.

Yesterdays question answer is....

TO BE REVELED AT THE SEASON FINALE!

That's right, I've consider all of your suggestions, and have decided what the enemy will be. So trust me when the season finale comes, it's gonna be goooood!

Today's question is

Have you ever seen or done a reference to "The Life of a Wanted Changeling" in real life?

Now I don't expect alot of answers, but I still want to know if any of you in the Hive Mind have seen, heard, or done a reference to my fic?

BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 25: It's Party Time!

Intro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

Tell Nightshade to NOT devour all the food. When she protests that the party's for them, tell her she can only eat half of the food at the party at most.

You let Night Shade run around with the others, and tell her to keep her appetite down.

As you look around at all the party guest wondering on what to do, you see Nightshade... drooling at something. You look at her worriedly and ask,

"Uh... sweetie. Are you okay? You're... uh... losing saliva."

Nightshade just nods her head dumbly. You look at her with increased worry when you see her lick her lips in a hungry fashion and ask,

"Uh... Honey, what are you staring at?"

She just points ahead and says in Neighponese.

"Tabemono, eikō no tabemono! (Food, Glorious Food)"

You look at Nightshade in confusion as you start to look towards where she's pointing while saying,

"Food? What food are you looking a-... Holy Mother of Luna..."

You too start to drool at the food display set up. You feel like your about to die and go to heaven at just the site of it. Your so amazed that you start to mumble out all the food you see...

"A double-decker ice cream fudge cake, extra-spicy veggie tacos with habanero hot sauce, jelly babies, cookie dough ice cream with extra cookies, Sweet Apple Arc's Apple Cider (I thought they ran out... oh well), and even my favorite dessert; Apple Crisp a la mode..."

The floor is literally covered in your and Nightshade's drool, causing any and all nearby ponies to back away in disgust. You snap out of it as you grab Nightshade and say,

"Sweetie. No matter how badly we want to, we must resist the urge to eat all that delicious, tasty, delectable food, Okay! We must resist!"

Nightshade looks at you confused and asks,

"But Daddy, isn't this our party? Shouldn't we be allowed to eat all that good looking food?"

You look at her blanking while thinking,

Oh Luna she's right! This is our party, we should be able to eat all the food for ourselves! No! We must save the food for the other party goers! Nos, we's needs the foods. Nos, the foods musts goes to the partiers! Nos! Yes! Nos! Yes!

You stop your insane thoughts as you tell Nightshade,

"Okay, all that food there. We'll divided it in half. One for us, the other for the other party goers. Of that half, you get half the cake, the jelly babies, and the cookie dough ice cream. I'll get the other half of the cake, the spicy veggie tacos, and the Apple Crisp a la mode. We'll share the cider, deal?"

You put your hoof out, and Nightshade shakes it vigorously and says,

"Deal Daddy!"

You then shove her towards the CMC, who moved away to get into the party feel as you say,

"Have fun Sweetie!"

Nightshade smiles and walks towards her friends. When she's with her friends, you make a mad dash for the food table while shouting,

"MOVE B****! GET OUT THE WAY! THE FOOD IS MINE! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY OR I WILL BUCKING MOW YOU DOWN!"

Quite a few ponies didn't move in time...

Find out you've already built-up a bit of a reputation as an "eccentric" due to your actions in the past few days.

You grab as much food as you can carry in your front hooves (although your scarf fell in the punch), claim a section of the table for yourself, and start to chow down. As you do, you overhear ponies talking,

"Ew, look at him eat."

"That is the coolest dude ever! He blew up the Super Cider machine all by himself!"

"I heard he was 'plowing Applejack's field' if you know what I mean..."

That's Big Red's job. I just patch things and buck apple trees. you think obliviously.

"Really? I heard he's in a secret relationship with Rainbow Dash!"

Ew...

"I heard he has nightly threesomes with Vinyl and Octavia."

*Spurt*

"I heard he's been wearing the same clothes since he got here, and he popped up as soon as Discord and the Offender disappeared."

You would have gotten nervous at that last one, but you were in too much bliss from that slice of Apple Crisp you stuffed into your mouth...

ONE GORGING LATER

Notice a blue unicorn with an hourglass Cutie Mark and interact with her in hopes of finding a connection to the Doctor. You find out her name is Colgate Minuette and she's Ponyville's dentist (you then remember that she's one of your ex-bosses from when you briefly worked as a janitor for her), good friends with Berry Punch (you suspect possibly more...), and when she asks you how often you and your daughter brush and floss, you reply never which horrifies her and causes her to give you two toothbrushes, floss, and a big tube of toothpaste.
"2 Toothbrushes"
"Container of Floss"
"Tube of Toothpaste"
Added to the Inventory
Also find out that Lyra and Colgate really hate changelings because they were bridesmaids at the Royal Wedding, but got mind-controlled by Chrysalis and long story short, they didn't get to be bridesmaids anymore (even more reason to keep your changeling-ness top secret)

You've just finished the last of your 4th bottle of cider, when you see something strange...

A mare with a hour-glass cutie mare.

You stare at the blue mare in confusion and think,

What the... Only the Doctor has that cutie mark! Oh, maybe she knows him or something, that or she's just a fan of the show. Hmmmm, well I've eaten my quarter of the food already, might as well introduce myself. She does look familiar...

And with that you walk over to the blue mare...

A COUPLE MINUTES LATER

"Huh... that was awkward as all heck..."

We now find you leaning against a wall in thought. You found out the mare's name was Colgate Minuette and she doesn't know the Doctor (she's just a Whoovian who got a tattoo of his cutie mark tattooed onto her flank and even pointed out which Doctors your clothes are drawn from), but she knew you as she was one of your ex-bosses (the dentist one, where you worked as a janitor and scared off her patients by off-key singing "The Dentist Song"). You also found out she's close friends with Berry Punch and is like a aunt to Berry's daughter, but she started to blush like a mad-mare when she mentioned Berry's name, but you just shrug it off.

But the most awkward thing you found out about her was... she really hates changelings. Yeah, apparently her and Lyra were supposed to be bridesmaids for Cadance, but then they were put under mind control by your ex-queen, and then the invasion happened... Long story short, they couldn't be royal bridesmaids any more. And when you told her you and Nightshade never floss or brush, you swore she was going to explode right there. Luckily all she did was give you some toothpaste, toothbrushes, and floss,

"2 Toothbrushes"
"Container of Floss"
"Tube of Toothpaste"
Added to the Inventory

"I swear to Luna if I ever get married (which I hopefully will) I'm making sure I only invite my grandbuggy to it. Alot less drama that way..."

You say to yourself with hopefully. As you're about to head back to the food table, you see...

Go and do the dinosaur— Wait, that's been done in the original comment driven story. Okay, er...
In the background, Nightshade danced the day out with a lamp decoration on her head. She's now Lampshade.

Nightshade dancing like there's no tomorrow while wearing a lamp decoration on her head. You can't help but chuckle and say,

"Heheheh, looks like Nightshade has become... Lampshade."

"YEAHHHHHHH!"

You look around in confusion looking for the source of that outburst, but you eventually just shrug your shoulders and ignore it. Suddenly...

you sense for only a second a changelling, but thinking it was only your imagination, you leave it. After that you see that you lost sight of the CMC, when you listen something

You hear this in the back of your mind,

"kerekekckekrek"

You look around in surprise as you think,

Is that... the changeling signal call that sounds just like the Yautja from Predator? But that's impossible, the changelings are gone, blasted off to who knows where- You know what, it's probably just my imagination getting to me, I probably jus-oh... look who's here!

You stop your worried thinking as you shrug it off and see...

You start mingling and you see that Vinyl has her sound system set up in front of the dance floor. You go to say hi to her.
Vinyl: Sup Tennant? Couldn't stay away from me that long could ya? (winks)
You: Heh heh (blushing), thanks for coming.
Vinyl: Well I would've come anyway even if I wasn't working, Pinkie's parties are da bomb.
You: You mean you didn't bring this stuff just for me? Ha ha ha (Joking)
Vinyl: (giggles) Nah, Pinkie and I have a trade agreement when it comes to throwing parties.
You: Nice
Vinyl: Heck ya it is, I get to show off my new songs, and party all the time. Not to mention all the free booze and food I get to stock up on at the end of every gig, I haven't had to buy food for nearly 3 months.
You: Whoa, I might have to get a deal like that, what with my daughter's appetite
Vinyl: (giggles) well anyway, enjoy the party man, I gotta get back to the wubs
You: Alright, see ya

Vinyl setting up her sound system in front of the dance floor. You decide to go and say hi to her.

"Hi Vinyl!"

She turns towards you and smiles,

"Sup Tennant? Couldn't stay away from me that long could ya?"

She lowers her shades and winks at you causing you to blush as you reply,

"Heh heh, thanks for coming."

"Well I would've come anyway even if I wasn't working, Pinkie's parties are da bomb!"

"You mean you didn't bring this stuff just for 'eccentric' old me?"

Vinyl chuckles before replying,

"Nah, Pinkie and I have a trade agreement when it comes to throwing parties."

"Nice."

"Hay ya it is! I get to show off my new songs and party all the time. Not to mention all the free booze and food I get to stock up on at the end of every gig, I haven't had to buy food for nearly 3 months."

"Whoa, I might have to get a deal like that, what with my daughter's huge appetite."

"Well anyway, enjoy the party man, I got wubs to bring and basses to drop!"

"Alright, see ya"

"And BTW, it's 'DJ Pon-3' when I'm at work." she says before getting back to work,

You start to walk away when you feel your scarf catching on something which pulls you down by the neck. You re-catch your breath and you look up to see...

Talk with Spike. When she starts crushing on Nightshade, distract him with Rarity (who the DFV comments is an insecure unicorn who would have made a good host in another timeline...)

Spike!

He looks at you in surprise before smiling and saying,

"Sorry man, I didn't see your scarf there." as he helps you up.

"Thanks." you say as he helps you up "Anything new?"

"Meh, same old same old. Although I swore somepony tried to burn down the library earlier today."

"Yeah..." you say as you rub your hoof behind your head nervously, but you notice Spike is looking at Nightshade while blushing. Fatherly instincts kicking in, you quickly proclaim,

"Hey look Spike! That pony over there clearly needs more punch!" and shove Spike towards the nearest pony. Spike snaps out of it and refocuses his blushing on the pony you shoved him towards which turns out to be...

Tacky McStabby Flank. AKA Rarity.

I sense strong insecurities in that unicorn. She would have made for a fine host...

You feel angry at the DFV's comment for some reason,

Well too bad! You're stuck with me so you're not gonna mess with any other ling's mind so long as your in my head, got that!

The DFV goes silent at you outburst, but you ignore the silence when you stop pushing Spike and see...

O: Hi, my name is Octavia Melody.
You: Hi, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant...but I guess you knew that, since you're at this party and...
O: (Giggles) It's OK, A true gentlemen introduces himself regardless, and I can see you are one
You: Thanks
O: Would you like some punch?
You: Sure
You walk with her to the punch bowl and she starts whispering to you
O: So, Vinyl tells me you're a member of the horde
You look around to make sure no one is listening
You: Ya, I'm from the Appleloosan branch...but should we really be talking about this here?
O: Oh don't be so skittish, more than half the ponies here are members.
Your eyes widen at that
O: Now, I want to ask you a question, do you actually believe in His message, or are you just a bandwagoner?
You: Oh...I guess you can say I believe in his message...I was there at Appleloosa when he stopped the Buffalo and Pony war.
O: Ah, then you are a true believer in his cause...someone who knows the depth of his heroics (eyes sparkling)
You: Ya, I know it all too well
O: I mean, he's an inspiration for ponies everywhere to always try and do the right thing, no matter what life throws at you. And just look at his triumphs through his trials and tribulations. He suffers so much injustice, and yet he does what is right because he's a true hero.
Your ego boosts tremendously at those kind words.
O: Even after that whole Discord mind thing, the Horde knows the truth, and we have a duty to make sure others do too. If nothing else, for His sake. Just so he knows there are those that appreciate and even love him. And...are you crying?
You: No (Sniff) just...got something in my eyes...but that was beautiful
O: Thank you, sorry if I rambled a bit. I just wish he knew what I...what everyone feels about him.
You: I'm sure He knows and appreciates it (smiling)

"Hello, my name is Octavia Melody."

You turn to the refined voice and say,

"Hi, I'm Baker Sylvester Tennant... but I guess you knew that, since you're at this party and..."

She interrupts you with a giggle and says,

"It's OK, A true gentlemen introduces himself regardless, and I can see you clearly are one."

"Thanks- I mean I express my sincere gratitude." you say, temporarily drawing on your "fancy voice" and what little you can remember from the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book.

Octavia giggles again and asks,

"Would you like some punch?"

"Sure."

You walk with her to the punch bowl and she starts whispering to you,

"So, Vinyl tells me you're a member of the horde"

You look around to make sure no one is listening and reply,

"Ya, I'm from the Appleloosan branch..." you pause before getting into your 'fancy voice' again, "but is it wisely advisable to be corresponding about this subject matter in present and most dubious company?"

"Oh don't be so skittish, more than half the ponies here are members."

Your eyes widen at that as she continues,

"Now, I want to ask you a question, do you actually believe in his message, or are you just another bandwagoner?"

"Oh... I guess you can say I believe in his message..."

Even if even I have no idea what kind of "message" I'm trying to spread. you mentally comment as you continue.

"I was there at Appleloosa when he stopped the Buffalo and Pony war."

"Ah, then you are a true believer in his cause... somepony who knows the depth of his heroics!"

Her eyes start to sparkle as her whispering gets louder,

"Yeah, I know it all too well..."

"I mean, he's an inspiration for ponies everywhere to always try and do the right thing, no matter what life throws at you. And just look at his triumphs through his trials and tribulations. He suffers so much injustice, and yet he does what is right because he's a true hero."

Your ego boosts tremendously at those kind words. Vinyl- Er, I mean DJ Pon-3 notices Octavia starting to speak more loudly about the Hooded Offender so she turns up the volume to make sure nopony else can hear her.

"Even after that whole Discord mind-thing, the Horde knows the truth, and we have a duty to make sure others do too. If nothing else, for His sake. Just so he knows there are those that appreciate and even love him. And... are you crying?"

You sniffle as you wipe off a stray tear with your scarf and say,

"No *Sniff* just... got something in my eyes... but that was beautiful."

"Thank you, I apologize if I rambled a bit. I just wish he knew what I... what everypony feels about him."

"I'm sure he knows and appreciates it." you smile.

With a farewell you both part ways when...

Meet a pair of twin Earth Ponies that you recognize from that time you went to the bath (Season 1, Episode 13, "The Ponies in This Town Are CRAZY!"). The one with the blue coat and pink mane is Lotus Blossom and she speaks with a Eastern European accent while the one with a pink coat and blue mane is Aloe and they run the Ponyville spa. Lotus takes her job more seriously while Aloe is a more out-going, easy-going, flirt (reminds you alot of that "Yin/Yang" balance thing that keeps popping up in those Neighponese movies and anime and it kinda reminds you of the dynamic between between Vinyl and Octavia).

You run into a pair of twin earth pony mares. The one with the blue coat and pink mane and tail says in an accent,

"Oh hello there Mister Tennant, my name is Lotus Blossom and this is my sister,"

The mare with the pink coat and blue mane and tail continues,

"Aloe, my name is Aloe."

"We run the Day Spa in town." They both say at the same time.

"Oh, that cool, I went to a spa once, wasn't relazing. Let's just say too many hot rocks and not enough quick dry cement."

"Don't you mean mud?" Lotus asks as they both look at you in confusion.

"That's it, they didn't have mud, they had quick dry cement. I swore I was stuck in that blasted tub for days..."

As the twin mares look at you in confusion, you can't help be get a sense of deja vu like you've seen these ponies before-

I remember now! These were the twins that helped clean me up back when Cadance sent me to Ponyville. From what I remember, Lotus takes her job seriously and doesn't slack off on the job while Aloe is the opposite; out-going, easy-going... And a flirt...

"I'm not surprised. With those looks, I'd mistake you for an ancient statue of a chiseled alicorn too." she flirts with a wink, snapping you out of your thoughts while proving your point.

You blush deep red at her flirting as Lotus gives her an annoyed look. You stumble with your words for a few seconds before saying,

"Heheheh thank you, it's a medical condition. Same as how I have to wear all these awesome clothes."

Lotus looks your outfit up and down before saying something amazing,

"Hmmmm, the hat of the 7th, 10th's trenchcoat, 4th's scarf, 6th's pants, and a face mask from the looks of it. Nice, very... Doctorish."

You stare at her in shock before thinking,

Holy buck... I AIN'T THE ONLY WHOOVIAN WHO LIKES THE CLASSICS THAT I KNOW OF ANYMORE!

"Well, we need to go." Lotus says, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Awww, why?" Aloe whines,

"We scheduled a appointment with a high paying customer tonight, remember?"

"Ohhhhh right, well later cutie." Aloe flirts with another wink causing you to blush as you reply,

"Ah, uh, yeah... uh, see ya later."

The twins turn to leave, but Aloe remembers something and turns back,

"Oh, here's a ticket for one free father-daughter spa day. Welcome to Ponyville!"

"Thank you, Nightshade will love this... hopefully."

"Spa Ticket" added to The Inventory

With that you leave, but bump into another pony...

Meet the pegasus who saved you from crazed Twilight and find out her name is Sunshower Raindrops. Thank her for whacking a crazed Twilight in the head with a flower pot (this comment causes Twilight to blush and facehoof). She sheepishly comments that she also had an overdue book that day and hit Twilight with the flower pot so she could sneak it in (while the overdue fine is not so bad, it's the scolding by Twilight that everypony doesn't like)

"Sorry bout that- Hey! You're the pegasus who saved me from the crazed bookworm by smashing her in the head with a flower pot." you say causing a nearby Twilight to facehoof at the memory of her behavior that day.

"Oh..." the pegasus with a Tiffany blue mane and tail and jasmine coat says in recognition before you butt in,

"Thanks! I never caught your name by the way."

"My name's Sunshower Raindrops. I was happy to help, but I had other... less noble reasons for that save..."

"Really?"

Sunshower looks both ways cautiously before she leans in and whispers,

"I had an overdue book due that day and i needed a way to sneak it into the library without getting caught by her."

"Wow. What does she normally do to overdue book keepers? Throw them in the dungeon?" you ask in surprise.

"Well, the actual fine is no big deal, but it's her scolding lectures that everypony in town knows to avoid."

"O... Kay..." you say hesitantly. "Well I have to get back to the party. Nice meeting you, and thanks again for the save."

"Anytime." she says with a smile before trotting off. You follow suit and walk off in a different direction...

Also Rarity talks about how Sweeite and the others speak highly of Night Shade and AJ and Rainbow both nod as well.
Rarity: So mister Tennant, if it's not too much to ask, what does her mother do?
AJ: I've actually been wondering that myself (eyes look around shiftily)
You: Well...
DFV: I seek to end the false godesses reign, and to take vengeance on the weak one who betrayed...
You: Her mother...lives on in my mind
They all gasp in sympathy, thinking that means she is dead, and Applejack and Rainbow both give a slight victory smile at that.
Rarity: Oh, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have asked
You: No no, it's fine, sometimes though it's like she's always there.
DFV: I will always be here, and don't you forget it!

And run into 4 of the the Deadly 6 (Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash) and Spike.

"Oh Hi Mister Tennant darling," Rarity says "While I can't exactly approve of your taste in wardrobe, I can say that Sweetie and her friends get along fabulously with your daughter."

Applejack and Rainbow both nod as well as Rarity continues,

"So Mister Tennant, if it's not too much to ask, what does her mother do?"

"Ah've actually been wondering that myself..." Applejack comments as her eyes look around shiftily.

"Well..."

I seek to end the false goddess's reign, and to take vengeance on the weak one who betrayed-

Ignoring DFV's rant, you half-truth,

"Her mother... lives on in my mind."

They all gasp in sympathy (thinking that Nightshade's mother is dead) and Applejack and Rainbow gives a slight victory smile at that before joining in on the sympathy.

"That poor stallion." and "Poor little filly" you overhear several nearby ponies say,

Do these ponies have any sense of privacy at all! you think in annoyance.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked." Rarity says,

"No no, it's fine, sometimes though it's like she's always there."

I will always be here being your only friend, and don't you forget it!

Don't remind me...

Nightshade meets Fluttershy and they immediately hit it off talking about animals and nature. Fluttershy comments that the "Animals, Nature, and You" book is a few years out of date and when the Pegasus talks about how more up-to-date book are at the library, Nightshade says,
"Now I'm glad daddy stopped us from burning down the library!"
This causes a "WHAT?!" reaction from a few nearby ponies (especially Twilight and Spike). and results in an argument over the CMC (which involves you, Rarity, Applejack, and maybe a few others) which comes to a head when one of them says she ought to spank Nightshade if you won't which provokes you to yell,
"If anyling lays a hoof on my Nightshade I will tear off his legs, jam them into his eye sockets, slash his throat open, and then give the motherbucker A GRIFFIN NECKTIE!!!"
This outburst causes the ponies to back away in horror from you until Pinkie and Nightshade somehow manages to get the party mood back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Fluttershy with Nightshade and they appear to be getting along very well.

"Daddy!" Nightshade says as she spots you and runs right over to your fatherly happiness.

"Oh Hi Mister Tennant. Your daughter is such a dear." Fluttershy says as she joins the group,

"Yeah, we talked about nature and animals, then we talked about something called 'knitting' when I mentioned you were trying to teach me to sew, and about something called a 'spa' and about how I can learn more about animals from the library! Now I'm glad you stopped us from burning down the library!"

"WHAT?!" many nearby (especially Twilight and Spike) say. What follows is an argument between you, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash over the CMC which comes to a head when Twilight says,

"Mister Tennant, I read a book about foal care a while ago. It said that a misbehaving child must be punished by a spanking. So if you won't do that then so help me I will!"

*snap*

On instinct, you protectively shove Nightshade behind you as you roar,

"If you lay one bucking hoof on my Nightshade, I will tear out your legs, jam them into your eyeballs, break off your horn, slash your throat open with it, and GIVE YOU A GRIFFIN NECKTIE!!!"

Suddenly, the party becomes so quite even a thought could be heard as everypony looks at you in stunned horror at your violent outburst as your glowing orange eyes continues to glare into a terrified Twilight. Nightshade then whispers to you,

"Daddy, you're being scary again..."

Pinkie Pie then brings you to the front of an area cleared for the dance floor where Vinyl is set up. You wave at her and she waves back, but Pinkie Pie holds a microphone in front of your face
Pinkie: ahem
You: uhhh
Pinkie: ahem...
You: (thinking) does she want me to sing or something?
P: Isn't somepony forgetting about a certain public apology he owes somepony else?
You: Oh! Right...(Grab Microphone)
You: Testing, Testing, 1,2,3...Hello everypony and thanks for throwing me and Night Shade this party, it really means a lot.
They applaud
You: But listen, I know I've probably built up a reputation in these last few days, but concerning yesterday I would really like to apologize to someone and set the record straight.
Audience is intrigued
You: Yesterday I jumped to conclusions when Applebloom had the Cutie Pox and I accused Pinkie Pie of...(you see kids in the audience) doing horrible things and had her wrongfully confess to it
You see Twilight and the rest (sans Pinkie) with frowns on their faces. Apparently they've known how upset Pinkie was.
You: Because the flower bloomed for my...(sigh) lies and not for her, some of you have been thinking that it was the truth.
You see the Flower Trio (the ones who wore the hazmat suits, and see them looking at Pinkie with worried/scared faces
You: I can assure you all that this is not the case and that because I interrogated her harshly, she believed it enough to the point where the flower was tricked. You don't have to fear her
You see some of the ones who were fearful sigh, but then look guilty
You: (Turn toward Pinkie) Pinkie, I'm sorry. I was acting like an idiot. Can you forgive me?
She hugs you, Hard, and says
P: Of course I can, you came to the Apology Party after all, why wouldn't I forgive you. That's what friends do.
Everyone Dawws at that, and you even hear others saying sorry to Pinkie for thinking she was a killer.
P: (whispers in your ear) though if you really want to make it up to me there's plenty of fun things you and I can do together...
Your eyes widen and a little bit of blood comes out your nose
You: uuuhhh...
She pulls away from you and holds her own microphone
P: Like Singing Karoake!!!
You: (Thinking) IS SHE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?!
You: Umm...OK
Sing "Come on Feel the Noize" with Pinkie.

While saying your apology, you decide to troll Pinkie,
"I assure you all that Pinkie is not a psycho cannibal serial killer... (*smirks mischievously beneath mask and scarf*) Or at the very least I can't prove it yet."
This gets you a few angry scowls before you say, "Joking or am I..."

Before you can respond, you suddenly find yourself whisked in front of an area cleared for the dance floor where Vinyl is set up. You're standing next to Pinkie who announces,

"WOAH! That was intense, but let's not let it turn our frowns upside down! Let's keep this party going! But first..."

Pinkie Pie holds a microphone in front of your face and mutters,

"Ahem."

"Uhhh"

"Ahem..." Pinkie says again with more emphasis.

Does she want me to sing or something? you think in confusion.

"Isn't somepony forgetting about a certain public apology he owes somepony else?" Pinkie hints with emphasis,

"Oh! Right..." you say in realization before recieivng the microphone from her,

"Testing, Testing, 1,2,3..."

You tap on the microphone causing feedback which causes everypony to wince before you continue,

"Hello everypony and thanks for throwing me and Nightshade this party, it really means a lot."

They lightly applaud.

"But listen, I know I've probably built up a reputation in these last few days as... 'an eccentric', but concerning yesterday I would really like to apologize to somepony and set the record straight."

Intrigued, the audience listens in more closely as you continue,

"Yesterday I jumped to conclusions when Applebloom had the Cutie Pox and I accused Pinkie Pie of..."

You pause when you see foals in the audience and revise your statement,

"-doing horrible things and made her wrongfully confess to it."

You see Twilight and the rest (sans Pinkie) with frowns on their faces. Apparently they've known how upset Pinkie was,

"Because the flower bloomed for my... (*sigh*) lies and not for hers, some of you have been thinking that it was the truth."

You see the Flower Trio looking at Pinkie with worried/scared faces,

"I can assure you all that this is not the case and that because I interrogated her so harshly, she believed it enough to the point where the flower was tricked. You don't have to fear her. I assure you all that Pinkie is not some sort of psycho cannibal serial killer..."

Your prankster side suddenly getting the best of you, you smirk mischievously beneath the mask and scarf before adding,

"Or at the very least I can't prove it yet."

The flower ponies yelp and faint and you get several "Dude, Not Funny" scowls from the audience (even from Fluttershy, Vinyl, and Nightshade),

"Kidding!" you quickly add "or am I..." you mutter afterwards.

"And let me say, I have learned a valuable lesson. I learned it the day my beautiful daughter came to be. It's that you can never judge a pony by their looks or their odd behavior. It's what they are on the inside that counts. And even though I don't know her very well, and we got off on the wrong hoof big time, I am glad to call her a non-psychopath."

Unless it involves cake and beating me up.

You see some of the ones who were fearful sigh in relief, but then look guilty. You turn towards Pinkie and say,

"Pinkie, I'm sorry. I was acting like an idiot. Can you forgive me?"

She hugs you (Hard. You swore you heard a few ribs crack) and says,

"Of course I can, you came to the Apology Party after all, why wouldn't I forgive you. That's what friends do."

Everyone Dawws at that, and you even hear others apologizing to Pinkie for thinking she was a killer. Pinkie then whispers in your ear while continuing the hug,

"Though if you really want to make it up to me there's plenty of fun things you and I can do together..."

Your eyes widen in shock and a little bit of blood comes out your nose,

"Uuuhhh..."

She pulls away from you and grabs her own microphone,

"Like Singing Karaoke!!!"

IS SHE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?!

"Umm... O.K."

ONE PARTY LATER

When the party is over, go back to the shed with a sleepy/sleeping Nightshade (other CMC went home with their sisters/sister figure)

You sang We Will Rock You and Come On Feel the Noise to applause, but get booed off the stage for horribly trying to sing Let It Go (Note to Self: Rock is the only genre you can sing well). There was some awkwardness when Twilight comments that you're glowing orange eyes and violently protective nature seem very familiar, but you defuse the situation by shoving your Doctor's Note into her face.

You're now returning to your shed home with a sleeping Nightshade on your back. The party was still going on, but you wanted to put your daughter to bed. But as soon as you reached the shed and put her back into The Inventory, you felt really tired and flopped onto the cot asleep. Apparently you were more tuckered out than you thought you were...

THE NEXT DAY

"Ugh... What the... Where am I?"

You look around the area you're in to see that you're in a dark room and you can't see a thing. You try to move, but you find out that you've been tied down!

"OI! What the heck is going on! Who ever the buck is doing this better come out or I swear I'll..."

Suddenly, a cloaked figure appears in front of you. You can barely see an evil smile under the hood. The hooded figure then says,

"Welcome to your new home... Master."

...

HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA THE FANFILLIES FOUND ME! I'M GONNA DIE!

Outro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGijsAfeik

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Yesterday's answer was....

All of them!

I am pleased to know that some of you actually used the "Look a distraction" gag! And it worked too! That is just awesome, just plain awesome.

Today's a question is

Who do you think Bugze will hook up with first?

He's got a billion mares throwing themselves at him, but which one will he date first? BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 26: I NEED A ADULT!

First of all, look around your environment.
You see that there are no Imprisoned Short Haired Mares or Stolen Pies around, so you can definitely confirm that you are not in The Woolie Hole. Thank Goodness for that.
Still you are tied down in a room with a FANFILLY!!!
PANIC!!!!
You: I NEED AN ADULT! THIS IS NOT MY FETISH! Darkness! Imprisoning Me! All That I See! Absolute Horror!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
After Screaming like an idiot for a bit, look at your situation a little more rationally
You recently got a letter and the Scarf from "A Friend" who has helped you in the past, you went to sleep in your own bed and woke up in a dark place with a hooded mare...the more you think about it the more it sounds like...
You: Holy Crap! The Dark Brotherhood has found me! Who sent you? Was it Luna? Or are you hear to recruit me? Because I'll say this once, I am not going to murder a bride at her own wedding!!!

First of all, you look around your environment,

Let's see, there're no Imprisoned Short Haired Mares or Stolen Pies around, so I can definitely confirm that I'm not in The Woolie Hole. Thank Goodness for that. Still, I'm tied down in a room with a FANFILLY... PANIC!!!!

"THIS IS NOT MY FETISH! Darkness! Imprisoning Me! All That I See! Absolute Horror!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

After Screaming like an idiot for a bit, you eventually tire of that nonsense and look at your situation a little more rationally,

Hmmm... I recently got a letter and the Scarf from "A Friend" who has helped me in the past, I went to sleep in my own bed and woke up in a dark place with a hooded mare... the more I think about it the more it sounds like...

"Holy Luna! The Dark Brotherhood has found me! Who sent you? Was it Luna? Or are you here to recruit me? Because I'll say this once, I am not going to murder a bride at her own wedding!!!"

The hooded figure chuckles at your outburst and says,

"Silly Master, we are not this 'Dark Brotherhood' of which you speak of. If anything were much, much more... deadly."

You whimper in fear as you...

Your attempts to free yourself are in vain. You start to panic and hyperventilate as the hooded figure comes closer to you.
"I NEED AN ADULT", you scream, but they get closer and closer to you until they reach you. You tense up as they put a hoof on your chest and whisper in your ear.
"I am an adult", You're DOOMED....

You try to struggle against the bonds keeping you tied to... whatever it is you're tied too. The Hooded figure giggles at your attempts to break free and says,

"Feeble try Master, but your bonds are 100 times the strength of steel. You won't be breaking outta of those."

This causes you to sweat in fear as you try to think, but nothing comes to mind so yo blurt out the first thing that does,

"I NEED AN ADULT", you scream, but the mysterious figure moves in closer and you tense up as he/she/it puts a hoof on your chest and whispers in your ear.

"I am an adult."

You gulp in fear as you think

I. Are. DOOMED!

...

That is until you remember an age old trick that has helped you throughout your recently troublesome (or at least more troublesome than normal) life. You suck in a deep breath of air and shout in the RCV,

You loudly shout "LOOK! A DISTRACTION!"
Only to find that it doesn't work because you can't point while tied down.

"LOOK, A DISTRACTION!!!"

You nervously sweat drop as you realize that your old trick probably won't work as well as usual cause you can't point in any random direction.

"I'm confused Master? Was I supposed to look somewhere for this... distraction?" the hooded figure says with a tilt of his/her/its head, confirming your realization.

Also, claim you are not The Master as you are clearly wearing the Doctor's clothes and you don't hear any drumbeats.

Wait... Why does this thing keep calling me "Master"? Do I look like an evil time lor- *Ding* That's it! Seeing how Doctor Who is real and I'm wearing the Doctor's old clothes, maybe he... she... it thinks I'm the Master! That's got to be it! This figure probably thinks I'm the Master! Well, time to prove my innocence... hopefully it'll work this time.

With that thought in mind, you say,

"Ohhh, you must think that I'm The Master! Well... I'm not. And I can prove it too! I'm wearing the Doctor's clothes, and The Master would never wear his clothes. Plus, I don't hear the sound of drums in my head! I mean there was this one time in Appaloosa, but I'm sure that that was just a fluke, a one time thing you know! Also the Master is a, well, mastermind and I'm an idiot! Ask Miss Cheerilie!"

The hooded figure tilts his/her/its head in confusion and says,

"But Master... you are the Master. At least you're our Master."

You shake in fear a little at how the figure said that and you begin to freak out... again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

TWENTY MINUTES OF SCREAMING LATER

You finally start calm down and decide to try and get some answers, so you ask...

Also, ask her
You: How did you find me?
?: A stallion's daughter is threatened at a public event and he responds viciously with glowing orange eyes. I can't be the only one who's figured it out
You: Am I really that obvious?
?: Well you do have consistent quirks which we have come to call running gags, so...
You: Sigh

Bugze: What is going on? What are you going to do to me? What is your goal? I want to know the truth!
That random pony: You can't handle the truth, master!

"How did you find me?"

"A stallion's daughter is threatened at a public event and he responds viciously with glowing orange eyes. I can't be the only one who's figured it out." the figure says matter-of-factly.

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Well you do have consistent quirks which we have come to call running gags, so..."

You sigh before you continue,

"What the hay is going on? What are you going to do to me? What is your goal? I want to know the truth!"

"You can't handle the truth, master!"

You whimper in fear (again) at the figure's outburst. You start to think that you're doomed for good when you realize something,

If I can't break free... then I'll stall for as long as possible! On with the excuses, AWAY!

With that heroic (and dumb) thought, you say,

Think of random excuses to try and escape such as, but not limited to;
I have to go to work!
?:It's sunday
I have a highly contagious disease!
?: We read your Doctors note... Its not contagious... If it was even a real disease
I have to take my daughter to school!
?:Again.it.is. SUNDAY!
IM GOING INTO LABOUR!
?:YOU ARE A MAN!
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?
?:WE REMOVED YOUR CLOTHES WHEN WE BROUGHT YOU HERE!
SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!

"I have to go to work!"

"It's Saturday." the figure nonchalantly responds,

"I have a highly contagious disease!"

"We read your 'Doctors' note... It's not contagious... If it was even a real disease in the first place."

"I have to take my daughter to school!"

"Again. It. Is. SATURDAY!" the figure yells, starting to lose patience at your excuses.

"I'M GOING INTO LABOR!"

"YOU'RE MALE!"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?"

"WE REMOVED YOUR CLOTHES WHEN WE BROUGHT YOU HERE!"

"SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!"

You quickly check to see if your cloths are on (you can barely make them out in front of you), and when you confirmed that there on, you

You squirm in the ropes again, trying to find any wiggle room. "This... this doesn't make sense! Why did you kidnap me? I thought you and your group were on my side?"
The figure tilts its head in confusion. "Who ever said I was on your side? We all have our roles to play, Mr. 'Tennant.' Yours is coming to an end sooner or later."
The figure raises its leg and pulls off its hood. Under it... is nothing. The figure is headless.
"SWEET MOTHER OF THE CELESTIAL SISTERS, WHAT AND/OR WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?!"
"You will understand in time. Just as you already understand the truth." It walks closer to you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Deep down, you always knew you couldn't stop it. The Nightmare is coming."

You squirm in the ropes again, trying to find any wiggle room as you say,

"This... this doesn't make sense! Why did you kidnap me? And if I'm your master, why did you tie me up?! I thought you and your group were on my side!?"

The figure tilts his/her/its head in confusion.

"Who ever said I was on your side? We all have our roles to play, Mr. 'Tennant.' Yours is coming to an end sooner or later."

The figure raises its front leg and pulls off its hood. Under it... is nothing. The figure is headless.

"SWEET MOTHER OF THE CELESTIAL SISTERS, WHAT AND/OR WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU?! ARE YOU A HEADLESS MONK OR SOMETHING?"

The figure chuckles as it says

"You will understand in time. Just as you already understand the truth."

He/She/It walks closer to you, leaning down his/her/its nonexistent head to whisper in your ear.

"Deep down, you always knew you couldn't stop it. The Nightmare is coming."

The figure then reels back it's hoof and is about to punch you, when...

You wake up to the sound of your own screams, startling Nightshade and the CMC and making them drop the water balloons they were aiming at you. A screaming contest ensues

Wake up from your Nightmare and after the encounter with the CMC, you remember/find out that it's Saturday Morning!

You suddenly wake up in your shed on Sweet Apple Acres, you pop up in your cot and start screaming,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

This causes Nightshade and the Cutie Mark Crusaders (who were standing in front of your cot about to hurl water balloons into your sleeping face) to drop their water balloons in shock and start screaming too,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Spotting the CMC, you continuing screaming even more.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

This causes the CMC to start screaming more as well,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHHHH"

A FEW MINUTES CYCLIC-SCREAMING LATER

"-HHHHHHHHHHH!"*slap*

The cycle finally ends when Nightshade slaps you upside the head.

"Snap out of it Daddy! Why were you screaming?" Nightshade asks in worry,

"Yeah B.S. One minute you're knocked out like Rainbow Dash after Cider season, the next you're screaming like a little filly." Scootaloo adds.

"Um, You are a filly Scootaloo." Applebloom points out.

"It... it was nothing. Just a nightmare. A really strange and totally not magical nightmare. I... I just need time to myself for now young ones." you say with your best attempt at false reassurance,

"Are you sure daddy?" Nightshade asks in worry.

"Yes Sweetie-"

"Yes?" Sweetie Belle asks.

"I was talking to Nightshade. Anyway, I'll be fine, just need some time to think and calm down."

They nod their heads and begin to leave, when Applebloom turns around and says,

"Ah, mistah Tennat. Mah sister said the you can have a day off. Something about 'all pony's need a break after one of Pinkies party's. Here's your pay for yesterday."

Applebloom hands you a small bag of bits,

20 Bits added to Inventory
30 Bits remaining

You nod your head in thanks and say,

"Sweet. Tell your sister that I said thanks."

Applebloom nods and leaves and you follow suit, but when you walk out the door you remember something,

"Oh, and Nightshade honey, you remember what I told you to do when a colt or stallion wants to hang out with you?"

"Of course; scream 'BUCK OFF PERVERT!' and Falcon Kick him in the balls!" Nightshade responds.

You smile with fatherly pride at that and say

"That's my girl..."

"Hey, Rainbow tells me the exact same thing, but without the fancy names for punching and kicking." Scootaloo says.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle give Scootaloo and Nightshade weird looks as the latter both respond,

"What?"

With that they leave, so with that out of the way, you head towards Ponyville and think,

Well, time to do what I do best when I"m not destroying stuff or patching things. And that's walking around aimlessly until something exciting happens. Now where to first?

What do you do?

Author's Notes:

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here

Yikes, looks like Bugze had a Nightmare. and that sentence again, "The Nightmare comes."...what could it mean?

Yesterdays question answer is...

You are all right, but at the same time you are all wrong.

Have fun with trying to figure that out folks!

Today's question is...

What is your favorite Next Gen Game?

Form 'Dead Raising 3' to 'Assassins Creed: Black Flag', which is your favorite Next Gen Game? I'll even tell you guys my favorite one as well. BYE!

[FIXED] Episode 27: TO THE LIBRARY!

Intro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

As you walk to your destination you start to think what hay that dream was all about. You wonder what the 'Nightmare is coming' really means. Could it have something to do with Nightmare night? What could this all mean? You sometimes wish you had your normal changeling life again. It was a boring and simple life, but non-life threatening...... usually.

Ponder what "The Nightmare Comes" could possibly mean and think about telling the Doctor, but get distracted by something.

As you enter Ponyville walking aimlessly, you begin to think about that nightmare,

Luna that dream was creepy. With the being tied down and the headless hooded figure, I wonder if "THE NIGHTMARE COMES" means anything? Could it have something to do with Nightmare Night? I need to tell the Doctor about th-

*wham*

Run into Caramel who is understandably still uneasy around you since you did tackle him through a 2nd-story window while spouting action flick one-liners. His special somepony Sassaflash gives you a sassy earful for that before you distract them with "Hey look, a distraction over there" before trotting off

You are snapped out of your thoughts when you smash into somepony. As you hold your head in pain, you can't help but think,

What is with me and running into ponies lately. It's starting to happen almost as much as my awkward staring problem.

After that thought and as the pain in your head starts to subside, you start to say,

"Sorry about th-"

"AHHH!"

When the pony in front of you screams in terror. You jump back startled and ask,

"What's wron- oh... Hi Caramel..."

You stare down awkwardly at Caramel, the pony you most likely traumatized when you tackled him out a second story window when you were a guard-in-training. You reach your hoof out to him, which causes him to flinch in fear. You sigh and think,

Oh great, it's the Hooded Offender all over again. At least noling is trying to kill me this ti-

"HEY SCARFY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY STALLION!"

Me and my loud thoughts...

You look behind Caramel (who's still on the ground but not shaking as much) to see a mare pegasus with a pale, light grayish arctic blue coat and pale, light grayish gold mane and tail fly over to Caramel's side and helps him up while glaring at you. You chuckle nervously and say,

"Hehehe, sorry about that. Like I was say-"

*SLAP*

Before you can finish, the mare slaps you across the face and begins to rant,

"How dare you treat my poor Caramel wamel like that. You gave him nightmares for days! He hasn't been able to watch Coltmmando, Lethal Armament or Roboguard, some of his favorite movies mind you, because of your stupid use of the quotes. When ever he goes out, he's terrified that he'll be tackled to the ground. I have half the mind to nag nag nag! Naggy nag nag nag! Nag! Nag nag nag!"

You stopped listing halfway though this mares nagging and had to force yourself to not shove your hooves into your ears and though your brain. You start to think in a annoyed tone,

Dear Luna, this mare nags more then that one mare my Grandbuggy used to date. What was her name... Sassa, no... was it Naggy... No that's not it... Maybe it was Nagger mic naggs alot.... Nah that's not it either. But seriously what was her na-FOR THE LOVE OF LUNA SHES STILL TALKING! How much air does her lungs have? Seriously, I don't think she's taken a single breath this whole time! She's as bad as Pinkie! That's it, time for the age old trick that has got me though thick and thin...

With that thought in mind, you suck up some air, point behind the mare, and shout,

"LOOK A DISTRACTION!"

When she and Caramel look away, you turn around and make a break for it. When they turn back around, Caramel remembers something and says to the mare,

"Oh honey, I need to go back to my house. I forgot the cloud-gazing mat again."

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

You finally stop running away to catch your breath. You look behind you to see if she followed you, but luckily she didn't. You smirk and say between deep breaths,

"Hah... Still.... works... hah... hah!"

You're about to walk away, when a thought suddenly hits you,

Now that you think about, you've never read the Doctor's Note so take a look at it to see what the Doctor said about your "condition"
This pony here suffers from Dyschromatophthalm Dermatoastheniapathy or "Discolored-eyed Skin Weakness Disorder" or D.E.S.W.D.
It is a hereditary abnormality that causes an malformation in ocular development affecting the Vitreous humor thus causing the eyes to turn pure blue and said abnormality also weakens the skin tissues on the limbs, back, and lower half of the face so they're especially sensitive to the environment. Adrenaline also further discolors the Vitreous humor and causes the eyes to temporarily turn a glowing orange color.
In basic Equestrian, DESWD is a disorder which causes the pony to have pure blue eyes which turn glowing orange in times or extreme stress or danger and the back, limbs, and lower half of face must be covered to prevent the skin and muscles in those areas from painfully peeling off.
Because the disease is hereditary, it is NOT contagious. There are times where he can look like a normal pony, but these times are rare. Other than the above differences, this pony is no different in ability to any average normal pony and thus should be treated as a normal average pony.
-Doctor John Smith
P.S.
It also causes bad breath

Waitaminute, I know I've been using the whole 'medical condition' excuse to hide my changeling-ness, but I never actually read the 'Doctor's Note' myself. I wonder what that time lord wrote down?

You take out the Doctor's Note and start to read it,

This pony here suffers from Dyschromatophthalm Dermatoastheniapathy or "Discolored-eyed Skin Weakness Disorder" or D.E.S.W.D.

It is a hereditary abnormality that causes an malformation in ocular development affecting the Vitreous humor thus causing the eyes to turn pure blue and said abnormality also weakens the skin tissues on the limbs, back, and lower half of the face so they're especially sensitive to the environment. Adrenaline also further discolors the Vitreous humor and causes the eyes to temporarily turn a glowing orange color.

In basic Equestrian, DESWD is a disorder which causes the pony to have pure blue eyes which turn glowing orange in times or extreme stress or danger and the back, limbs, and lower half of face must be covered to prevent the skin and muscles in those areas from painfully peeling off from exposure.

Because the disease is hereditary, it is NOT contagious. There are times where he can look like a normal pony, but these times are rare. Other than the above differences, this pony is no different in ability to any average normal pony and thus should be treated as a normal average pony.

-Doctor John Smith

P.S.
It also causes bad breath

You blink before saying,

"What in the name of the Equestrian language does this mean? Is this even Equestrian? No wonder ponies don't ask questions after I show this to them, they're too speechless trying to understand what it says! Ah, I'll ask the Doctor what this means later. Or should that be sooner or now? He is a time traveler after all..."

What that, you shove the note back into his trench coat pocket and continue wandering around town.

The nightmare won't get out of your head, so you turn to one person/pony/bug that could possibly know what you're feeling.
About last night-
Down, boy. I don't even have a body of my own.
What? No! My dream last night, what was it about? That... thing said the Nightmare was coming again.
Those words again? Curious. Unfortunately, I saw nothing last night. The dream realm operates on its own rules, and ponies have more hooves than there are beings in the world that truly understand it.
But you're in my head. And aren't you Nightmare-
In case you haven't noticed, I am not exactly in my former state. If you want to know more about this dream, ask the treachorous s!*@ in charge of my night.

As you walk around aimlessly, you can't help but keep thinking about nightmare so eventually you turn to the one... thing that might have some answers,

So... About last night-

Down, colt. I don't even have a body of my own.

What? No! you think with a blush, My dream last night, what was it about? That... thing said the Nightmare was coming again.

Those words again? Curious. Unfortunately, I saw nothing last night. The dream realm operates on its own rules, and a cyclops would have more eyes than there are beings in the world that truly understand it.

But you're in my head. Shouldn't you be able to see my dreams?

In case you haven't noticed, I don't have full control. If you want to know more about this dream, ask the treacherous weakling in charge of the night that should be rightfully mi-.

You ignore the DFV after she starts to ramble. Deciding that you won't be able to get anything useful out of the DFV, you continue wandering around town now thinking about the possible nitpicks and plot holes in movies and serials you like.

After wandering around town, realize you're hungry so you go into a Trottingham-style Pub and eat a lunch there of Cottage Pie (made with grounded legumes instead of meat like in the real world) and Butterbeer (after being repeatedly told that it is NOT alcoholic, it may be your new favorite beverage).
26 Bits remaining

*growl*

You were in the middle of making your brain hurt thinking of all the plot holes in a typical Shymalamadingdong "film" (Seriously? The bucking TREES were dead the whole time?), when your stomach growls,

"Whoa, how long have I been wandering around like a lonely zombie for?"

You look at the Ponyville clocktower and see that it's past noon. You look down and spot a "Flankagan's Pub" with a sidewalk-board advertising a "4 Bit Cottage Pie special".

I have no idea what a "cottage pie" is, but a good deal's a good deal.

And with that you trot into the pub for lunch.

ONE LUNCH LATER

You had a meal of this "Cottage Pie" (which was ground roasted legumes mixed with vegetables topped with a mashed potato crust mixed with cheese) along with a glass of "Butterbeer" (which you were repeatedly assured wasn't alcoholic and after experiencing it's creamy butterscotch-esque taste, you're now internally debating whether this or Sweet Apple Acres Cider is your favorite beverage) and you liked the place's Trottingham-style decor (including a framed autograph by C.E. Moffat, the mare who created the Doctor Whooves serials). You paid for your meal, left a tip, then walked out.

25 Bits remaining

Well that was a satisfying lunch. Now where should I actually go...

Well you are still a little shaken up from that dream, but still, this whole "Nightmare Comes" thing is getting intense. Now the freaking Headless Monks are a part of it. Well if the Doctor isn't going to answer any time soon, the best you can do is gather your own knowledge. Maybe, just maybe you can find something at the Library.
When you get to the Library you tense up before you knock since you are entering the domain of Purple Smart, leader of the Deadly 6...but you gotta do it.
The door is answered by Spike, and when you ask for Twilight, you find she isn't there.
Spike: Ya, she's out with the girls for a pet play date/Ya she's out right now. Don't know where. The other day she was at a pet playdate with the others (Depending on which episode we're doing next)
You: And she didn't bring you?
Spike: No, I don't have a pet why would I go?
You: Oh...well...I kind of thought...
Spike: That I was her pet? (upset)
You: Well no...but...with the way she treats you sometimes...
Spike: She does do things sometimes that are upsetting yes, but then again so do I.
You: But...
Spike: Look, I'll tell you what I told the others... She's my best friend and like a sister to me, ever since the day she hatched me. I just work for her now OK?
You: So she's like your mother/sister/owner/boss figure...thing?
Spike: It's...complicated
You: I bet...look, sorry if I upset you man.
Spike: No no, it's fine, Ponies make that mistake all the time, even if I wish they wouldn't...(sigh), so anyway, what did you want?
You: Well, I was looking for some information, but since your...Twilight isn't here then
Spike: I can still help, I live here too you know?
You ask him if he's ever heard of anything concerning "The Nightmare Comes" but all he thinks it means is that Nightmare Night is coming. Also, he points you to Psychology of Dreams and Old Pony Legends when you talk about your Nightmare and the Headless Horse.
The book diagnoses you with having a subconcious Master/Slave dominance fetish, and possible Oedipal complex as well. You don't like the sound of that.
Also, Old Pony Legends you skim through
You: Let's see...The Rusty Horseshoe?...Nah, The Mare in the Moon? Classic but not needed...though now that I think about it, where the heck has that formation on the moon gone?
DFV: You would know if you weren't such an oblivious oaf
You: Meh, it's not important, ah here we are, The headless horse...apparently I need to make it across a bridge to a church if it attacks me with a pumpkin...good to know.
While there, you also find something awesome
You: Huh? What's this? Element Bending for Dummies Book 4: Air
Apparently it's all about being able to manipulate air to do your bidding in all kinds of ways.
You: Oh sweet! Definitely checking you out.
You pick up Book 2: Earth
You: And you too...hey
Book 1 and 3 appear to be missing
You: Yo Spike! Where's Water and Fire at?
He looks up the registry
Spike: Apparently the spa twins checked them out, something about revolutionizing hot water therapy
OK, probably not gonna get those books for awhile then, you don't think you'll leave that spa without getting jumped by those two. Although, Twins...Neighponese twins...NO BAD BUG!
Even though being able to manipulate glorious burning fire with your hooves sounds amazing. Being able to watch it's majestic flames burn away any buildings or ponies in your way as you laugh at the hilarity and...OK Seriously, You've got to keep your arsonist tendencies down
But still, Two for four ain't bad.
You get a library card from Spike so you can check out your books, and the Dream one too because why not?
Inventory: Items added
Element Bending for Dummies Books 2 and 4: Earth and Air
Psychology of Dreams
Library Card

You briefly wander some more before coming across the library.

Great, the lair of the bookwormish underling of Solar Flank...

You gulp nervously and think,

I should just avoid this place like an Adam Saddler movie, but this place could have the answers I need...

Gathering as much courage as you can (you almost wish that Butterbeer were actual beer... Almost.) you walk up to the library and knock on the door. Spike opens the door and you ask,

"Is the bookwor- I mean Miss Sparkle present?"

"Twilight's not here?" Spike replies,

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's out with the girls for a pet play date."

"And she didn't bring you?" you ask,

"No, I don't have a pet. Why would I go?"

"Oh... well... I kind of thought..." you stammer nervously,

"That I was her pet?" he says upset,

"Well no... but... with the way she treats you sometimes..." you cautiously say before being interrupted by Spike,

"She does do things sometimes that are upsetting yes, but then again so do I."

"But..."

"Look, I'll tell you what I told the others... She's my best friend and like a sister to me, ever since the day she hatched me. I just work for her now, OK?"

"So she's like your mother/sister/owner/boss figure... thingy?"

"It's... complicated."

"I bet... look, sorry if I upset you man." you say apologetically,

"No no, it's fine, Ponies make that mistake all the time, even if I wish they wouldn't..." He sighs before continuing, "So anyway, what did you want?"

"Well, I was looking for some information, but since your... Twilight isn't here then-"

"I can still help, I live here too you know?"

"Okay... Um... You ever heard of something about a 'THE NIGHTMARE COMES' or anything about dreams of headless hooded ponies?"

"Hmm... That could be just something related to Nightmare Night, but just in case..."

Spike walks inside the library and you follow him in as he climbs a ladder and retrieves two books. He comes down to you and hands you, "Psychology of Dreams" and "Old Pony Legends". You thank him, place the books on the table, and start skimming through the "Psychology of Dreams" book while Spike continues shelving books and dusting. You end up self-diagnosing yourself as "having a subconscious Master/Slave dominance fetish, and possible Oedipal complex as well"

I have absolutely NO idea what those terms mean, but it's probably not good...

You then start on the "Old Pony Legends" book,

"Let's see... The Rusty Horseshoe? Nah. The Mare in the Moon? Classic, but not needed... Though now that I think about it, where the hay has that formation on the moon gone?"

You would know if you weren't such an oblivious oaf

"Meh, it's not important, ah here we are, The headless horse... Apparently I need to make it across a bridge to a church if it attacks me with a pumpkin... Good to know."

You then spot a title from the corner of your eye which immediately captures your attention.

"Huh? What's this? Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air?"

Seeing as you're a big fan of The Last Spellbender animated serial (BUCK the movie "adaptation"), you rush over and read the description on the back. Apparently it's all about using physical movements to channel the innate magic within all creatures in order to manipulate air to do your bidding in all kinds of ways,

"Oh sweet! Definitely checking you out."

You reach next to the spot where you found the book and say,

"And you too... hey!"

Volumes 1, 2, and 3 appear to be missing,

"Yo Spike! Where's Water, Earth, and Fire at?"

Spike looks up the registry,

"Apparently Aloe checked them out, something about revolutionizing hot tub and mud therapy."

Probably not gonna get those books back for a long while, although I could go over to the spa and ask Lotus and Aloe. Although they are twins working in a spa and probably busy covering each other with a sheen of massage oi- NO! BAD BUG!

You shake your head free of inappropriate thoughts and continue,

Anyway... It would have been cool to be able to manipulate glorious fire with my hooves. Watching the majestic flames burn away buildings and ponies in a cleansing flame as I laugh in the glow- OK seriously, I need to keep my arsonist tendencies under control! Anyway, Air isn't bad. I could blow out candles, glide, and suck the air out of the fillerfooler's lungs by creating a ball of suffocation around- GAH! What is wrong with me!

Deciding to leave before you have any more psychotic thoughts, you get a library card from Spike so you can check out the book and the Dream one too, as well as the mythology one because why not?

Inventory Items added:
"Element Manipulation: Vol 4. Air"
"Psychology of Dreams"
"Old Pony Legends"
Ponyville Library Card

As you think that maybe Nightmare Moon forgot to tell something important, you decide to send a card to the only one that could know something about your dream. But you don't know how could be good to write the card, but you heared before about the friendship cards the leader of the Evil Five send to Sunbutt so you decide to do the same.
Dear Princess Luna
Last Night I have a strange dream about a strange headless figure kidnapping me and saying "The nightmare is coming"
As you are the Alicorn that know and control the dreams, I ask you if you could know something
Signed:
Baker Sylvester Tennant
P.S: Send your answer to Sweet Apple Acres if possible
You read the card, as you are still not sure and send it.
"You know that if she come here and detect me, she will know you are the hooded offender... right?"
"What?"
"I was she... She was me... I doubt she could not detect me... not to say if she see our daughter
Just as you think about broke the card, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane crash with you and a little air send the card far away
"Well... At least the card is not anymore here"
You think... but the breeze become a airflow and after a long travel the card enter in the window of Luna bedroom

Trip on your scarf.

You thank and say goodbye to Spike before leaving the library. Your mind comes back to that Nightmare and seeing as how DFV isn't gonna be any help, you decide to send a card to the only one that could know something about your dream...

If the bookworm leader of the Deadly Five sends these "friendship cards" to Solar Flank, maybe I can do the same...

With that, you pick up a conveniently placed postcard (with a picture of a pumpkin about to elbow-drop a corn) on the ground and begin to write on it as you continue walking,

Dear Princess Luna,

Last Night, I had a strange dream about a strange headless figure kidnapping me, tying me up, and saying "The nightmare is coming"

Seeing as you are the Alicorn that knows and controls the dreams, I ask you if you could know something.

Signed,
Baker Sylvester Tennant

P.S: Send your answer to Sweet Apple Acres if possible

You read over the postcard as you're not sure how or even if you should send it when,

You are aware that if she comes here and detect me, she will know you are the hooded offender... right?