Little bit of a surprise in this chapter. Enjoy, though.

Me and AppleJack were having a few apples for breakfast. AppleBloom and her friends, however, slept in.

"So ... You're on this farm. What is your job, AJ?" I asked the orange farmpony.

"Well, Ah mahself and Big Macintosh, mah big brother, along with ah massive part of the Apple family buck apple trees. Our job is ta' supply Ponyville and other parts of Equestria with the best and tastiest of apples. About every one of our families spread over Equestria have a farm with an apple orchard." AppleJack explained with pride.

"That's impressive." I said. My phone rang in my pocket, "Ugh! Who is it this time!?"

The caller ID read General Adams. I groaned and answered, "What?"

"Andrew. Glad to talk to ya' again. If you're in a different world, how could you be receiving this call? Hmm?" the General asked.

"You're the one calling me, Adams. I have no fucking clue. I'm not on Earth. HOW FUCKING LONG, DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT!" I slammed my fist on the table, making AppleJack go wide-eyed. I hung up, "Ugh ... AppleJack, sorry for startling you like that. I just get easily irritated, and this just went over the line. Sorry." I apologized.

"I-it's fine. Ah just don't understand why this General of yer's keeps callin' ya' or sumthin." AppleJack was looking for an answer.

"I was a soldier in the army. One of the best. I served in two wars, and lived through them both, earning me the rank of Lieutenant General," I said, showing the soot-stained crest of the Canadian Army I wore upon my shoulder.

- Lieutenant General Shoulder Crest of the Canadian Militia.

"Ah don't get it." AppleJack studied the tattered and beaten piece of fabric, looking back up at me. EYES ... AUGHHGHG! ... "What's this supposed ta' mean?" she asked.

"It states the wearer is the rank of Lieutenant General, second highest rank aside from General." I explained.

"Well, Ah'm sorry ta' get up n' leave like this, but Ah have ta' get applebuckin again. You know where ta' find meh if you need meh." AppleJack said as she put on her 'stetson and left the farmhouse to the fields.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I eagerly wanted to head into Ponyville to get my shirt back from Rarity, but my conscience told me not to, "Common sense, jackass!" ... But then I came up with an idea; I'd sneak. Since I saw some of the geography of the town, I knew that the Carousel Boutique could be entered from the back. I decided to carry out this plan.

As I crept behind the walls of buildings, I could peer into the streets of Ponyville. I didn't even stop to look, I kept moving. I began sprinting, and eventually, I could see the familiar shape of Carousel Boutique. I slowed my pace, but kept weary, in case I was spotted. I saw Rarity doing laundry, and I ducked behind a tree near the clothesline. She was humming a tune, but I couldn't make it out.

"Psst! Rarity!" I whispered loudly. The humming stopped, and the white unicorn looked around.

"Y...Y-yes?" she nervously stuttered.

"It's Andy! I'm behind the tree at the moment ..! And I came to get my shirt back!" I whispered loudly again, stepping out from the tree.

"Oh! You want your shirt back ... Well, I have good news! Since that was the only shirt you had, I used it as a base and made you more, darling!" Rarity perked up. God I love the way she speaks. Rarity went into the Carousel Boutique for around two minutes, before coming back out.

"Darling, may I add that your perfectly toned muscles will be shown off in these?" Rarity levitated the T-shirts to me.

I facepalmed, "Perfectly toned muscles. Seriously. Every pony here is adoring my muscles!" I exclaimed, "THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE VANITY MUSCLES!" I yelled.

"Well I personally find them to accent your features, darling. In all honesty, yes - they are attractive." Rarity complimented.

I slipped on a matching forest-camouflage T-shirt, it went with my pants. My abs stood out from them. "Ugh ... I feel like I'm becoming an attention whore ..." I muttered under my breath, head hung low.

"What was that, dear?" Rarity asked.

"N-NOTHING!" I exclaimed. "You were right when you said these would show off my muscles ..." I said, flexing. "This T-shirt is actually pretty comfortable!" I complimented.

"Why thank you dear. You do look very handsome. Now, there are three more. There's one in black, one in sky blue, and one in a deep green." Rarity continued, passing me the three other T-shirts. "Er ... I forgot to ask, would you like two more pairs of pants, dear?" she offered.

"Hmm. These shirts are amazing. But .. Er ... Wouldn't it be a bit awkward, a half naked bipedal creature?" I asked.

"You could just stay in the Boutique while I sew them together!" Rarity perked up, "Come along!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I pulled off my soot-stained camouflage fatigues in the bathroom, reaching an arm down and grabbing them. I then walked behind the door, and reached the arm that held the pants out to an awaiting Rarity. "Here you go." I said as the unicorn's magic surrounded the fatigues.

"All right darling, you will have two more pairs of pants within half an hour!" I could feel Rarity perk up as she walked upstairs to her work room.

"God I love this place," I said, looking around. "Hmm. Rarity!" I called out.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Would you mind if I were to use the shower?" I called back.

"Not at all darling!" I could hear the rev of the small motor of the sewing machines as they started up. Damn, she's fucking fast!

"Thanks!"

I started up the shower. The water started off cold, and I slipped out of my boxers. I stepped in, and the water immediately heated up, beads of warm water ejecting from the shower-head, trickling down my muscles and legs. Not that it wasn't an unnatural shower, just that not taking one in a bit of a while made this one seem ... Better ... Than most times. I picked up a bottle, and it read; 'Lavender Love', another read; 'Vanilla Cream'. I decided Lavender Love would go better with me, so I squeezed some onto the loofa that I found, and began to lather it onto my skin. The body wash quickly took effect, foaming around where I lathered it onto, puffing into bubbles as I lathered more. The scent of lavender was delicate, but strong at the same time. It smelled good, nonetheless.

About three minutes passed, and now was time to wash my hair. The only two were 'Sexy Mane' (Jeez, ain't that familiar?), and 'Heavenly Hair'. I picked Sexy Mane, and squeezed some of it's contents onto my short hair, the scent of roses and chocolate filled the surrounding air, and I began to lather, causing bubbles to form along with foam.

Eventually, I rinsed off my body and my hair, stepped out of the shower, got a towel, and dried myself off. I quickly put my boxers back on, and looked at myself in the mirror.

"WHAT."

"THE."

"F-F-F-F...-F-FF....FUCK!!?!?!?"

I looked at 'myself'. I was entirely cartoonized. My muscles stood out, far surpassing most of my other features (That was probably why I am a fucking mare magnet ...). My short brown hair and deep green eyes, wait ... Did I say deep green? Yes. I fucking said DEEP. GREEN. My irises changed their coloration! Before they were a pale cornflower blue! Holy shit! I grew an excited and surprised smile. I cheered loudly, "WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Rarity called back, "Darling! Are you okay!?" she asked dramatically.

"Yeah! My eyes!" I exclaimed happily.

"What about them?" Rarity called back.

"THEY'RE DEEP GREEN! THEY USED TO BE PALE BLUE!" I, again, exclaimed happily. (I hated my old eye color, in case you're wondering why I am so happy right now.)

"Really? That is quite interesting, dear. Your pants are almost done, by the way!" Rarity replied.

"I'm coming up in eh ... Five minutes?" I said, putting on a towel. I began frantically looking for a brush to comb my hair back, which I eventually found. I grabbed it, and began styling my hair the way it was before I was a soldier, slicked back. I hummed an upbeat tune, man, I've never been happier, I thought.

"Alright darling!" Rarity called back.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Shoo ba-de-bap-bap-a-doo-bap-bap-be-bo-bo-bap-bap, shoo ba-de-bap-bap-a-doo-bap-bap-be-do-do- do -do -DO!" I sang the tune happily as I ascended the stairs to Rarity's workroom.

"You're pretty cheerful today, aren't you?" Rarity questioned.

"Quite! For one, I finally have an eye color that goes with my hair, and two, I'm being made clothes for by a very talented Equine seamstress! Life is so goooooooood!" I sang out the o's in 'Good'.

Rarity giggled before asking, "How do you know I'm a seamstress?" she asked.

"I saw the mannequins when I was walking upstairs with you, and I see fabric. And you're sewing. Pretty obvious hints, Rarity!" I explained, cheerfully, laughing at the end.

"Oh!" Rarity joined in. "Just a moment please, I shall be finished with your pants in a minute or so ..." Rarity was 'In The Zone'.

I decided to look at her previous works. "Mm. These are lovely, Rarity! You know, if you were a clothing designer on Earth, in America, you'd be making billions of dollars, or whatever the currency here is called." I said. Rarity didn't hear me, because she was still in 'The Zone'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nearly five minutes passed, and Rarity finished the last pair of pants. "Done!" she sang. Her voice, courtesy of Tabitha St. Germain, made the tune sound marvelous in itself. "Darling, you have to come look at this attire!" Rarity vocally gestured me over.

"Alright!" I said, walking over. These were pants ... Why am I so excited? I asked myself. Eh, it'll pass.

"This is the first pair, dear." Rarity said, showboating the first pair. They appeared to be black 'half' skinny-jeans, but not made with Denim, of course. They had the texture of Denim, but as soft as cotton.

I gave Rarity a sincere and warm smile, "This is so generous of you, Rarity! Thank you."

"Oh but it is the least I can do, darling! Here is the second pair, along with the original fatigues." she levitated the two pairs of pants to me, and my eyes went wide.

The other pair of pants were charcoal black, but had forest-camouflage stripes throughout, and on the sides ... Holy shit ... There were small emeralds here and there on the sides, along with pockets. They were, again, soft as cotton. "Oh my ... Oh my ... OH MY ..." I was almost speechless. "THESE ARE AMAZING!" I exclaimed. Seriously, over a pair of pants? Ugh, apparently so ... I looked to Rarity. "You. Are. The most. Talented. Mare. I've. Met." I clearly stated. Rarity beamed.

"Oh why thank you, darling! I'm glad you like them!" Rarity said, perking up.

"Like them? I don't like them ..." Rarity's ears flopped down. I grew a smile on my face ... Get ready for it ... "I LOVE THEM!" and I gave Rarity a hug, her ears erecting to their normal state. She smiled, and I smiled back. I nuzzled my nose on her nose. "I'm getting changed into these!" I picked up the black T-shirt and the black 'skinny' jeans, rushing up to the bathroom to try them on.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They fit perfectly. They did show off my muscles, and holy shit, call me John Paul Tremblay without the mustache and black hair ... I looked fucking handsome alright!

I walked upstairs, "Well?" I asked, making Rarity look over to me. Her eyes shot open as I showboated my look, her mouth went agape, then she moaned as if she fell for me right then and there, and tipped over onto her side. I swear, I saw hearts rise from her body ...

I rushed over and helped Rarity up, who's eyelids went half-closed, giving me 'bedroom eyes'. I scooped her up and she nuzzled me, "You are truly one handsome stallion in those garments." she shot me a sultry look.

"You're the one responsible!" I teased. We both laughed.

"Eucch!" Sweetie Belle witnessed the entire thing ... "Sis! What are you doing!" she exclaimed.

We both blushed sheepishly as Rarity leaped from my embrace, twiddling her hooves when she landed on the ground. We both remained silent, and I just got up and left. Yeah. I just got up and left.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I walked the way I came, I was again, behind the buildings of Ponyville. I had my clothes from Rarity over my left shoulder, and as I walked home ...

I bumped into a mare.

The mare who I bumped into went wide-eyed, staring at me, even though her auburn eyes were criss-crossed. "M-M-M-M-M-M..." I cut her off.

"Please, I don't want to start a panic." I grew a sincere smile as I begged, and went down to her eye level. I recognized her as Derpy Whooves. "I won't hurt you, or any pony here for that matter." I patted her on her mane, and walked past her.

She didn't understand what I meant ...

"MONSTER!!!!!!!!" she screamed, bolting for Ponyville.

"God fucking dammit."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And that's it? She just screamed 'monster' and just high-tailed for Ponyville?" AppleJack asked as me, AppleBloom and Big Mac (I was introduced to Granny Smith earlier, when I got back to the farm.) sat around the dinner table.

"Pretty much. Now I'll probably never be able to go into town." I said, depressed.

"Ah got dessert!" Granny Smith said, as she walked in with an apple pie on her back. "Apple pie." she perked up.

"Thanks." I thanked the old green mare as she sat down. "If I may do the honors ..." I asked, as I pointed to the knife.

"Sure thing!" AppleJack said.

I picked up the knife, and slowly sliced AppleBloom a piece of pie. "Thanks!" she said.

Next up, Big Macintosh. "Here ya' go, Big Mac!" I said.

"Eeyup!"

Now, AppleJack. "AJ." I said, putting the piece of pie on her plate.

"Thank ya' kindly."

Second lastly, Granny Smith. "M'lady." I said, placing the piece of pie on her plate.

"Thanks, sonny!"

I nodded, and sliced myself a piece of pie. "Man oh man, how long has it been since I've eaten apple pie ..." I asked, taking a bite. "Oh ... Oh my ... Too long!" I said, taking another bite. "This ish good, realleh realleh good!" I complimented.

"Ah shucks, it's mah old recipe! Thanks again, sonny!" Granny Smith thanked me with a sincere smile.

"Bang-on! This is the number one apple pie I've tasted in all my years!" I exclaimed, satisfied. AppleJack smiled at me.

"Ahaha, on ah scale a' one ta' ten, how good is it?" AppleBloom asked.

"Over nine ... Wait, I shouldn't do that reference ... TEN BILLION!" I exclaimed, after muttering that first part under my breath. The members of the Apple family before me smiled, and we continued eating our dessert.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(It was just a little into the afternoon when I got back to the farm, by the way.)

"Well, y'all look heart-smashin' in those." AppleJack complimented.

I facepalmed, "EVERY ... TIME!" I complained.

"What's wrong, sugarcube?" AppleJack asked.

"Well, apparently I'm like, a mare magnet. Rarity made these clothes for me, I managed to get them, and I swear, she collapsed when she saw me wearing them! And I saw little tiny hearts fly!" I explained.

"Well, they do look purty' good on you, darlin'." AppleJack tried to imitate Rarity with a sly smirk.

More facepalms.

"Why do I look so good!?!" I complained.

"Ah don't know!" AppleJack said. "Yer' muscles are showin' themselves off, that's probably ah reason. And yer' eyes and mane are purty' handsome, sugarcube." AppleJack complimented.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically, walking from the porch onto the dirt ground. My phone rang again. "UGH!!!!!!" I screamed. I answered furiously, "WHO THE FUCK IS IT!?!?" I yelled into the device. Anyone on the other end would have to take the phone away from their ear because I was so loud.

"A-Andrew ..." my ex-wife's voice came back. "A-are you alright?" she asked.

I was shocked. I froze, speechless. "Yeah." I blankly said.

"You've went missing, and Adams won't tell me anything! Where are you?" My ex-wife begged.

"IN HELL!" I answered immediately without thinking, frustrated. I hung up, and dropped to my knees.

"Andy are y'all alright?" AppleJack put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Don't cry ... Don't cry ... You're a ... *Sniffle* A..." and then the waterworks started.

"WHY AM I SO CRUEL? WHY CAN'T I BE NICE?" I questioned in-between sobs.

"There there, 'And. Y'all are ah nice guy." AppleJack cheered me up a bit, and hugged me. "Y'all ain't cruel neither. Alright?" she asked me.

I didn't cry for long, only a minute and a half. "T-thanks AJ." I said, wrapping my arms around her.

"Yer' welcome." she replied, smiling.

"You're a great friend, AJ." I said, standing up.

"Ah shucks 'And," AppleJack blushed, "That means a lot ta' meh." what she did next caught me off guard; she kissed me on my left cheek.

I was speechless once again. The entirety of my body froze, and I collapsed, falling back and smashing my head off of the wooden step. I don't remember, but I think I was knocked unconscious.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Poor Andy." AppleJack said as Big Mac carried him over his back to the Ponyville Hospital. "One kiss ta' the cheek and he gets knocked out. Ah shoulda' thought twice before doin' that." AppleJack looked glum.

As the 'trio' approached the hospital, the room's windows were a magenta-ish tint, the sign with a red cross, the dirt path, the beige walls, and the green door. It was the same as when Rainbow Dash sprained her wings.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, looking at the hospital.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In The Evening ...

"Oh ... Oh my fucking head ..." Andrew said, putting his hand on his now gauze-wrapped forehead. His hand dropped, and he lost every ounce of strength in his body. He was looking up. "Agh ... I can't fucking move ..." he said. He could just barely nudge his head to survey his surroundings. "FUCK!" he exclaimed, "I'm in a fucking hospital ... Okay Andy ... Just calm down ..." he told himself. "But ... If this is Ponyville's hospital ... That means ... Oh fuck!" he exclaimed, worriedly.

The door suddenly opened. Andrew nudged his head over to see Twilight. "Girls! He's awake!" she said, coming into the room, followed by the other ponies (Except AppleJack).

"Hey, Twilight ..." Andrew greeted.

"I'm sorry for what happened. Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked as she reached Andrew first.

"It wasn't even your fault, Fluttershy, why are you apologizing?" Rainbow Dash asked her.

"Don't worry about it Dash, she just cares about me is all." Andrew shot Fluttershy a half-hearted but sincere smile. "Did they put me on painkillers?" he asked.

"Yes, they did. It was a pretty strong dose too." Twilight said.

"Yeah, little problem with that ... I can't seem to move." Andrew complained childishly but tiredly.

"Oh get over it, the medication'll wear off in a couple of hours." Nurse Redheart stepped in with a clipboard. "Glad you're awake at least!" and with that, she left.

"Well, I'm sorry Andrew, but I have to go and feed my animals." Fluttershy softly said. "I hope you get better!" and she trotted out of the door.

"I personally have to go and write to Princess Celestia. Bye!" Twilight said, leaving.

"Oh gosh! As soon as you're better, I'll throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!" Pinkie Pie beamed at Andrew before hopping out of the room.

"I am so sorry about your condition, Andy. I hope you get much better. I have orders to catch up on." Rarity said, walking out of the room.

"I don't have anything better to do." Rainbow Dash said, "I'll keep you company for a while!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks, Dash." Andrew sincerely smiled.

"Eh, no problem ..." Dash chuckled evilly as she disappeared.

"Dash, where'd you go- OH!" there was a rustle in the blanket on the bed Andrew was in, and Dash popped her head out from underneath.

"You're mine ..." Rainbow Dash grew a devilish smile.

"Uh ... What? What do you mean, slave, dirty favors ... Ehm ..." Andrew blushed, still being unable to move. Rainbow Dash cracked up laughing.

"Oh you're too funny, Andy!" Rainbow Dash met his eye level. "Maybe ..." she said, leaving him hanging, giving him a sultry look.

Andrew's eyes shot open, "Dash! What do you thin- MMPH!"

Rainbow Dash had closed the distance between their heads, a full-on kiss, Andrew relaxed and kissed her back, continuing and cherishing this time. Some of his strength regained itself, and he slowly wrapped his arms around Dash, kissing her harder. What happened next kind of startled Andrew; Dash's tongue snaked into his mouth. He went along with it and french-kissed her, tongues wrapping together and saliva exchanging. It felt pretty good for the both of them.

Sooner or later, Dash closed the curtain, and continued. The kiss went on for about thirty more seconds, then the two both stopped for breath.

"Don't you think I'm done with you ..." Dash said evilly, going back in for another kiss.

"Mm ..." Andrew moaned as the two locked lips and exchanged saliva, followed by Rainbow Dash. Still in an embrace, the two continued their kiss again. His eyes slowly opened as he felt heat irradiating from Dash's lower half ... He continued kissing her, until they stopped for a breather. He looked down, and Dash grew a sheepish smile, whilst he grew a devilish one.

"Um ..." Rainbow Dash's ears flopped down, "I ... I ..."

"It's okay." Andrew reassured her.

"R-really?" Dash asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" he asked.

"Um ... Cause it's embarrassing?"

"No it's not. We all get excited at one point our lifetimes. It's fine!" Andrew reassured her again.

"Um ... That's not what I meant ... I ... I meant what I'm thinking ..." Dash blushed, ears still down.

"Oh, don't be all like that! It's fine!" Andrew tried cheering her up from her embarrassment.

"But ... You'd only say that if ... I-if ..." Dash looked down, and saw the sultry look on Andrew's face. "If ... If you wanted to ... Do what I wanted to do." she admitted.

"And what do you want to do?" Andrew mocked her.

"Y... You." Dash admitted, looking away.

Andrew's eyes shot open, as he could really feel how hot Dash was getting now. It was starting to get to him, too.

"Could you ... C-could you massage my flank?" this question made Andrew look surprised.

"If you want me to, get on top of me and turn around." Andrew felt really dirty for saying this, but Dash complied, the curtain blocked anybody from seeing in anyway.

Dash did as told, and was blushing furiously. Andrew summoned up all of his strength into his arms, and raised his hands, ascending Dash's hind legs, making her moan softly. The downy fur on her legs was very soft, and then his hands reached her flanks. They were soft yet toned, and hot from excitement ... Well, that was the part below her flank, which was irradiating with heat. Dash moaned as Andrew began to rub her flanks, groping her in a way she had never felt. Her virginity was begging for his stallionhood, but she would see how far they'd go. Dash moaned louder with more enthusiasm and passion in her moans.

"Please ... P-please ..." Dash couldn't say what she wanted.

Andrew whispered devilishly, "If you want." and Dash's flank was pulled towards Andrew's head. "Somepony's excited." he teased.

"OH PLEASE JUST LICK MY- OHH!" Dash's exclaiming was cut off with a satisfied moan as Andrew's tongue met her marehood. "Yes ... Mmm ... Oh yes ... Oh!" she moaned, blushing.

Andrew was certainly enjoying this. Even though a virgin, Rainbow Dash certainly had a lot of juice. Her love was supplying Andrew with a great supply of nectar to slurp up as he licked her love passionately while the cyan Pegasus moaned enthusiastically, the words "More ... M-more ..." would escape her lips every now and then, as the human's tongue licked her love furiously and amazingly, giving her a sense of pleasure she never experienced before.

"Yes ... More, please!" Rainbow begged, as she almost reached her peak. "I'm ab..About to ... Ah... Ahn!" she exclaimed, stuffing her face into the bed, her moistness emptying it's lust onto the human's tongue. She moaned out of pure pleasure, and collapsed, her love walls puffed up from her orgasm.

She was panting. She never thought she'd go this far this fast, but it was too late to look back now. Dash turned around, legs wobbly from the overpowering yet lasting contractions in her virgin love, and rested atop of the human. She nuzzled him. "That was amazing ..." she complimented.

"Hmmhmm... Thanks. You tasted pretty good, too." Andrew swallowed the remaining love juices left on his tongue.

"How ... H-how far do you want to go?" Dash asked him.

"As far as you want to go, Dash." Andrew offered.

"This is as far as I want to go." Dash nuzzled into him, and closed her eyes.

The sky was darkened with the stars and the Lunar princesses' moon. Andrew wrapped an arm around the tired and satisfied cyan Pegasus, and put some of the blanket over her, cuddling up with her. Andrew gave the Pegasus a kiss on the cheek, bringing a smile to both of their faces, before they both drifted into a half-early slumber.

Next Chapter: Chapter 7: Meet Andrew, Ponyville! Estimated time remaining: 33 Minutes