My nails are practically non-existent as I sit there, waiting for the tests to begin.

It's been about a day or so since the President went global with my ponies. Almost immediately, intellectuals around the world requested that tests be done: x-rays, MRIs, CAT scans, gel electrophoresis, DNA categorization, virtual directions, etc.

However, Obama has sent a special person to take care of this.

He's sent Doctor Barbara Fischer, one of the most beautiful, amazingly intelligent women I have ever met...

Of course, that's from a professional standpoint.

I exhale as I lean on my knees. She can't possibly have been talking to them for that long...Surely, the tests have already begun, and without my knowledge!

I cautiously open the door to the examining room, and let myself in. What I see makes my heart melt.

Barbara Fischer is sitting there, on her knees, smiling as she talks to the ponies. Her beautiful, brown hair covers her left eye, which is a piercingly beautiful shade of green, almost like polished jade. She is dressed in a lab coat, which melds to her petite form perfectly...

Of course, this is all for a study on, uh, the release of hormones, and preferences in women. Duh.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Mactylan!" She laughs with a wave. "I was about to get you! These ponies are the most adorable little children I've ever seen!"

I walk over with a smile, and greet my children. "Heya, guys," I coo, gently rubbing the underside of Fluttershy's chin. Rainbow Dash smiles up at me, and I poke her on the nose, much to her delight. Trixie is staying very close to Barbara, and Is watching me cautiously. I smile at her, and playfully ruffle her mane. She haughtily turns away from me, and Barbara laughs lightly. "Looks like she doesn't like you too much," she whispers as she does the same, and gets a positive action from Trixie.

"Teach me your secrets," I get, watching as Trixie smiles at her. I feel a pang of jealousy, and shake my head. There's no reason to be jealous...

"Well, I believe we're ready to start the tests," she declares, assuming a professional atmosphere as she stands. Trixie frowns, and reaches out her hooves. I reach for her, and she immediately puts them back down, as if she never wanted company at all.

"So, who first?" I ask her, standing as well.

"How about the white one with wings and a horn, uhh...Celestia. How about her?"

I nod, and pick up Celestia. She spreads out her wings with a blissful smile as I lift her, and I have a bit of a hard balancing her.

Despite my not asking, as I place Celestia down on the examination table, Barbara tells me why she chose her.

"Celestia seems to be the most calm," she explains. "So, I'd get the most conclusive results from her, and be able to determine if the results of tests with other ponies are faulty in some way."

I nod, and she brings over a few tools for examination. The first thing she picks up is a tape recorder.

"Specimen P-1. Quadrupedal mammal representing equine species. Has horn on forehead, and two wings. Whole body is white. Rainbow mane and tail flow behind and around specimen. Fur is white, as are feathers and horn. Gender is female, and age is..." She looks to me, and I say "about a week." She nods, and says "one week, give or take a month or so due to advanced development or organism. Beginning tests now."

With that, she stops the recording, and brings over an x-ray panel. She quickly x-rays the allicorn at several angles and with several orientations of the appendages, which I assist her with achieving. Once satisfied, she retrieves the x-rays, and clips them to a light on the wall after stowing away the technology.

"Has what appears to be upwards of four hundred bones. Substantial amount in wings. Bones in wings are hollow. Horn seems to fuse with skull, and appears to be same material as skull despite unknown substance in center. Marrow present in all other bones. Has equine formation of bones, as well as equine ribcage. Tailbone present, but tail is mostly cartilage. Orientation of bones in forelegs suggest flexibility, and ability to use appendages like arms."

Once again, she turns off the tape recorder, and picks up a stethoscope. After a few minutes of examining the allicorn, and having me tell her to take deep breaths, Barbara stands, and records her findings once more. "Heart shows regularity in pulsations. Similar to equine heart, yet also similar to human heart."

She gestures for me to pick Celestia up, and we approach what I've been dreading.

The MRI.

I have Celestia lay down, and tell her to stay calm. She nods, and I kiss her on the forehead.

Barbara pushes the button, and the slide begins to move in, and Celestia begins to panic.

"Daddy?" She asks. I frown, and hold onto her hoof until I can't any longer. Barbara sighs, and I can tell that this is difficult for her. Doing tests on children is never easy.

"Celestia," she says, softly, into a microphone, "it's going to be fine. You're going to hear some banging, but besides that, nothing will happen. Just be brave, sweetheart. You're doing fine." She smiles as Celestia nods, not knowing that there's a camera installed in the machine. I come over to the microphone, and comfort Celestia as the banging begins.

"Daddy's here," I whisper as Celestia begins to whimper. "It's okay, daddy's here, sweetie. I'm going to keep you safe, Celestia, don't worry. Daddy's here, everything will be okay..." Celestia closes her eyes with a gulp, and takes a deep breath. I smile as she calms down.

"There you go," I whisper. "You're so brave, honey."

She smiles, and so do I. Within several minutes, it's over, and Celestia's plastic platform slides out with a small hiss. I smile, and hug her close as she jumps into my arms.

"That was scawy, daddy," she whispers. I smile, and pat her on the back. "It's okay, sweetie, it's over now..."

Celestia rubs her head against my shoulder, and I kiss her on the temple.

"Awwww," I hear Barbara sigh from the side. I look over with a smile, and she blushes. "I mean, I'm going to need some saliva, for deoxyribose nucleic acid..."

I nod, and use the offered cotton swab to gently swipe the inside of Celestia's cheek, cradling her as I do so, so as to comfort the little thing. When I'm done, I put the swab into the vial Barbara is holding out, and she stoppers it, before labeling it "1-A: Celestia" and popping it into a centrifuge that just so happens to have fourteen holes.

She nods to me. "That's good. Who next?"

I pick up Luna, who is watching Celestia enviously. "How about her?"

Barbara smiles at the small, inquisitive filly in my arms. "She's cute. Alright, let's go."

As time goes on, the cold, professional doctor gets to be more friendly with me, and lets her emotions show a bit more. By the time the centrifuge is half-full, she's letting out frequent "awwwwww"s. As she warms up, I do, as well, and we both begin laughing as ponies do various shenanigans.

For example, when I'm about to select the next pony for testing, Pinkie Pie hops onto my head, and Barbara giggles lightly. I turn, looking like a totem pole, and laugh along.

"So, I see Pinkie Pie is fond of being rather...random," Barbara remarks. I nod as I take Pinkie off of my head, and prep her for the examination. And then, my masculinity kicks in.

I kind of feel like kissing Barbara right now, seeing how beautiful her face is as she smiles. I lean against the table, and watch as she documents Pinkie's characteristics in her beautiful, sing-song voice. Eventually, she sees me watching her, and she simply stares back for a few seconds, her tape recorder recording the sudden silence. We both look away as we remember ourselves, blushing like little children who just found their first crush.

However, that departs as she gets totally stumped.

"Peter?" She calls, staring at the x-rays of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie hops onto Barbara's shoulder, and she pays the filly no attention as she stares at the x-ray.

She looks at me, and I shrug to her. "I dunno. You're the expert."

Barbara nods with a gulp, and begins to dictate her findings.

"Specimen has bones that appear to have no limitations, as they...they just...they're all rolled up like rope, and...confetti, almost like she's about to explode...her skull is normal, but her bone structure is farm from it, it's almost as if they don't even matter...they just...are..."

She blinks, and I silently bring Pinkie to the MRI. "Let's get the radiology imaging done," I announce, trying to tear her away from the x-rays. She nods, and joins me at the machine. As the results read out, I look at it, and notice that it shows bone in it, as well.

"Why bother with an x-ray when you can get the same results here?" I ask.

"Because an x-ray will show the bones, only," she responds. "An MRI lets us see how the bones interact and their correlation with one another..."

I nod, and she shakes her head at the results. "This makes no sense. It says here that her brain is more active than that of Stephen Hawking...I mean, look."

I approach the terminal, and see that almost every inch of every cortex is bright red. "What the hell..." I mutter.

"I dunno."

I look up, and jump back in surprise. Pinkie has gone from being inside the MRI, to being on top of it.

"What?" Barbara mutters in shock, staring at the pink pony. "How..." She shakes her head, and picks up the pink pony, cradling Pinkie in her arms like her own daughter. "I don't think we should let these results out to the public," she says, softly. We share short bout or laughter, before resuming our examinations.

And now, we're on to the last two ponies.

Rainbow Dash, and Derpy Hooves.

"Rainbow, sit still!" I cry as she struggles to get away from the x-ray machine. "Don't make me tie your wings together!"

She looks up at me, and immediately sits down with a humph as the x-ray does its magic. I sigh as we bring her to the MRI, and have to struggle with her once more.

As the banging starts, Rainbow starts banging. She knocks out her hooves in absolute panic, and Barbara immediately stops the MRI. I pick up Rainbow Dash, and kiss her on the forehead.

"It's okay," I tell the crying Pegasus. "It's okay, baby. Nothing can hurt you..."

Many of the other ponies had had similar reactions. For example, Twilight had teleported out of the MRI, and Fluttershy had gone into a state of petrified shock. Rainbow Dash had lashed out, and attacked her aggressor. Just as Rarity had slapped it with her hoof, Rainbow had kicked/punched it. And, just as Trixie had pushed me away after her initial panic, Rainbow was pushing me away, as well.

"Rainbow, Rainbow!" I cry, holding her as she struggles. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay; it's okay! Look, look at daddy!" I hold up a stuffed animal that I had bought for her: a mighty, brave, bear. She giggles, and holds out her hooves for it. I give it to her, and she punches it in the side, as if to say "what's up, bro?" I chuckle lightly, and lower her back into the MRI. "You have the strongest bear in the world to protect you now," I whisper to her. She nods, and holds it against her as she slides in. I smile, remembering how tightly Fluttershy had held her bee stuffed animal during the test...

Five minutes later, she's out, and I smile at her. "You did great! You're so brave, Dashie!" She smiles, and spreads her wings triumphantly. "That's right, Dash! You're the greatest flier ever, and don't you ever forget it!"

I smile as she glides back to her siblings, and I pick up Derpy Hooves.

She doesn't resist any of the tests. She's nice like that. She's...simple, and trusting like that. The only bad thing is that Barbara has to remove her eyepatch for a few moments, which eventually results in another one of her spasms, in which her body goes rigid, and she presses her hooves to her lazy eye whilst mewling in pain. I hold her until it's past, and, wiping away her tears, put her eyepatch back on.

"There ya go," I whisper. "Good as new, eh?"

She smiles up at me, as her innocent happiness has returned.

However, after what I see on the MRI, that innocent happiness is no longer as cute as it once was.

"Oh, dear," Barbara mutters. I come over, concerned, leaving Fluttershy to play with Bravery Bee on her own.

"What?" I ask, resisting the urge to lean against this marvelous woman.

She gulps, and touches the screen, where Derpy's brain is being displayed. I look closely, and see something that wasn't in anypony else's brain.

"What is it?" I ask.

"It's a...Tumor," she says, forcing herself to tell me. I feel my tongue catch in my throat.

"Oh, God," I mutter. "Is it...Is it lethal?"

"No," she responds. "It's restricted to the occipital lobe...but she's too young for us to treat it. It could kill her if we tried...But...In a few years, it may have grown to the size of a grapefruit..."

I gulp, and feel my heart sink as I observe the dastardly growth. "How large is it now?"

"The size of a golf ball," she informs me. She looks at her watch, and sighs. "Crap...I have to go on air by five," she mutters. I look at my phone.

"It's four," I tell her.

"Exactly," she sighs again. "I wish I could stay, I don't want to leave you after I told you this news, but...I have to get on CNN, because they told me to be there with the results and their implications by five...I'll omit the brain tumor and Pinkie's...finer qualities."

I nod, and, with that, she hurries out of the room, grabbing a few charts, data points, and her tape record as she bustles out.

Two things go through my head as she leaves:

My daughter has a brain tumor...

And, I think that Barbara might like me...

Unfortunately, it's only the former that I am sure of. And morbidly so.

I take Derpy out of the MRI, and turn on the television, watching, and waiting, for Barbara to appear as I sit there in stunned silence, gently stroking Derpy's mane.

Author's Notes:

I want to thank theodorehip for helping me to start off this chapter! Without him, this chap wouldn't exist!