"It's wonderful to see you, Rainbow Dash."

"What's with the glasses?"

"That's not important." Twilight said quickly, fiddling with the frames again. She wore them as a part of her Twilight-therapist persona, and didn't want to admit that she didn't think she could play the part without them. "What is important is why you've come to see me today."

"I came because Applejack was being weird. Um, why did you make me lay down like this?"

"That's not important either." The unicorn interrupted. "Why do you think Applejack referred you to me?"

"Referred?" Rainbow Dash repeated. "That's not exactly what happened."

-----

"...and now she's spoutin' all this hooey about everypony in town bein' crazy and wantin' to fix it all! She said I have autism, kin you believe that?!"

"Seriously? Bwah ha ha ha!"

"Don't you laugh at me, I'm in no mood!"

"Gah! What are you doing?"

"Apparently I'm crazy, I can't help myself!"

"Applejack's gone nuts!"

"Oh, yeah, go cry about it to Miss Psychiatrist, why don't you?! I bet she'll be real happy to have somepony agree with her 'bout that!"

"OW!"

-----

"That's not important." Twilight said for the third time, getting impatient. "So my first session didn't go well. My book said that sometimes patients react badly to treatment because they can't cope with the reality that they aren't completely normal. That's fine, and I can't let myself get discouraged by setbacks. So, why do you think you're here?"

Rainbow Dash glanced down. She was covered in bruises from the apples AJ had thrown at her in rage.

"To get away from Applejack?"

"No, you're here to get help." Twilight said pointedly.

"Oh. Okay. For what? Are you gonna help me train? Because no offense, but you're kind of a terrible athlete. And you can't fly. So I don't think that would help very much, thanks.

"NO. You're here to get mental help from a professional. Like everypony else in Ponyville, you're struggling with many complex psychological issues that are preventing you from living a healthy, fulfilling life."

"Huh? Okay."

Rainbow Dash was only half listening. She was too busy fidgeting. Her wings were itching to spread and take flight, and instead here she was, holed up in a tree while Twilight babbled on about some nonsense she wasn't really interested in. She'd only come to Twilight's house in the first place because Applejack was refusing to set foot near it and couldn't follow here there.

"Tell me about your childhood, Rainbow Dash." Twilight said meaningfully, already beginning to write.

"What are you writing? I haven't said anything yet."

"That's not important."

"Shouldn't it be? I mean - "

"Tell me about your childhood." She repeated.

"Oh. Um. I dunno. I was pretty much awesome from birth, I guess." She shrugged, in as much as a pony could shrug. "I was always the coolest kid. Fastest. Was the best at pretty much everything."

"That's not what I hear." Twilight said gently. She was still writing, inexplicably. Rainbow Dash had barely said anything yet. "I heard that you were bullied when you were a filly."

"Yeah, those jerks were always jealous." Rainbow Dash answered breezily, ignoring the surge of panic she felt deep in her chest. "They couldn't handle me. The Dash tends to be kind of too extreme for ponies."

"Did you ever feel insecure?"

"Hah! That's funny. Why would I be insecure? Isn't it obvious how -"

"You don't have to hide your true feelings from me, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow's ears cocked at Twilight's soft tone.

"I know that you were teased as a kid. I know that you had to leave flight school. That must have been hard for you. Did you ever worry that maybe you weren't good enough? Is that why you try so hard to convince people you're the best? Maybe you're scared that people will find out how scared you are." Twilight paused, giving her a small smile. "Is any of this sounding familiar?"

An awkward silence fell between them.

"I don't really know what you want to hear." Rainbow Dash finally answered weakly.

"Tell me about your parents," Twilight prompted, with an emphatic nod for good measure.

The truth was, everything Twilight had said rung true; and Rainbow Dash hadn't seen her parents in years, ever since she'd left home after being kicked out of flight school. But these issues weren't topics she was ready to talk about at all, let alone with a pony like Twilight, who only seemed reasonable on the surface and was, deep down, just as nuts as everypony else. Ponies like that were always more dangerous than those who were openly insane, like Pinkie Pie, because you never saw it coming when they finally snapped.

Rainbow Dash's first instinct at any sign of danger was to fly away, so, feeling profoundly uncomfortable, she began to slide off the couch and feigned a yawn.

"Gee, sorry, Twi, but I really gotta go. Gotta fly and stuff, can't stay cooped up in here. Need my freedom and all that. You know what it's like. I'll just - "

"No!" Twilight snapped, glaring. Suddenly, magical restraints appeared out of thin air and snapped down on Rainbow, strapping her to the couch.

"Hey!"

"You're not going anywhere until I help you!" She screamed all traces of her calm, professional demeanour gone in place of pure frustration. You never saw it coming.

"Okay, okay!" Rainbow cried, writhing as she struggled against the bonds. "Whatever, I just -"

Oh no.

A sudden feeling of strange warmth was spreading through her lower body, and, unbidden, her wings snapped open.

Neither of them spoke. Both of them stared at her outstretched wings.

Twilight adjusted her glasses again, an action that was quickly becoming a nervous habit, eyes wide behind the glass.

Rainbow Dash's face was burning.

"Sorry." She said quickly.

The purple unicorn slowly shifted her gaze to Rainbow Dash, until the violet eyes met the rose ones.

"Um. I. Uh." Rainbow stammered, still struggling. "Can...can you just..."

In a flash of magic the bonds were gone, and Rainbow Dash quickly pushed down her wings with her now-free hooves, still blushing.

"That...that actually brings up another issue I was going to mention." Twilight said, clearing her throat with a small cough and glancing back down at her notes. "Rainbow Dash, before I begin, I want you to know that, as your friend, you can be absolutely honest with me."

"Um. Sure."

"I also want you to know that the others and I will accept you no matter what."

"Yeah. Right. Uh-huh."

"There have been some...rumours, Rainbow." Twilight finally said lightly. She knew that this was a delicate issue and had to be handled with care, but as a good friend that was going to help another friend she had to broach the subject, whether either of them wanted to or not.

Rainbow Dash had been staring somewhere off to the side, refusing to meet Twilight's eyes, blush still dancing on her cheeks; but at Twilight's words, she turned back to her, a questioning look in her eyes. "Rumours?" she repeated. "What kind of rumours?"

"Do...do you remember when we were in Appleloosa?"

"Uh, yeah?" Rainbow answered. "I'm not an idiot. How could I forget something like that?"

"Well...when Pinkie Pie came out in her costume, we...we all noticed that you..."

"That I what?"

"That you...your wings."

Sudden understanding dawned on her, and the questioning look was replaced with one of horror.

"There have been some...rumours...and...gossip...that you might be a...you know."

"A filly-fooler?" Rainbow Dash shouted, wings spread wide and threatening in anger. "Is that the word you're looking for?! I can't believe...I thought that...I just...you!!"

Twilight flinched.

"Back in Cloudsdale, the other kids would tease me all the time! Oh, look, it's Rainbow Dash, do you think she's a colt or a filly? Oh, hahaha, it's Rainbow Dash the filly-fooler, watch out, she might try and kiss you, even though you're not even her type!"

Rainbow Dash was now in her face, screaming, wings flapping furiously, and Twilight was pulling back uncertainly, tipping back her chair as far as it could go, when she was struck with inspiration.

"Oh! Good! This is good!" she shouted, suddenly eager. "Keep talking! Tell me everything you're keeping bottled up! Don't be afraid to share!"

"I thought that in Ponyville I could start again and get away from all that, and now you tell me that it's the exact same thing all over again? I can't believe this! And, and, and the wing thing isn't my fault, okay?! I don't control it, it just happens! It's natural it's, it's...why am I even telling you this?"

Suddenly defeated, Rainbow Dash slumped back down onto the couch, drooping despondantly. "Whatever. I don't care."

The clock was still ticking, as steady as ever. Tock, tock, tock.

Twilight was nervous, twiddling her quill in the air. Either she was doing something wrong or she was doing too well. The book said that sometimes patients lost their patience during therapy. At first she'd thought it was just a silly attempt at a joke, but now she was suspecting that it was all too true. Applejack had gotten angry, and now Rainbow was upset. Maybe it was time to change the subject.

"So," she began awkwardly. "I...I have something written up for you. Um. Do you want to hear it?"

"Whatever."

"Tell me if you agree. Do you ever feel extremely proud of yourself?"

"Not right now," Rainbow mumbled, still not meeting the unicorn's eyes.

Twilight twitched.

"Of course you do!" She said quickly, writing it down. "You totally do! Just a few minutes ago you were talking about how you were born awesome from childhood, right? You feel proud of yourself all the time!"

"Heh." The corner of Rainbow Dash's mouth lifted slightly in a tiny smile. "I did, yeah."

"And you don't want to change that, do you?"

"I guess not."

"Right! You're awesome and you know it! Aren't you?"

"Y...yeah!" Rainbow said. She lifted her head. She was truly smiling now, wearing that familiar fierce expression. "Yeah, I know it! The Dash is the coolest pony around, everypony knows that!"

"You need to be the center of attention!"

"Yeah! What else could you need to see when I'm around? I'm all anypony needs, am I right? When I'm around, all eyes should be on me!"

"Right! And you won't let anypony tell you otherwise!"

"Yeah!"

"You know what you want, and you want it now!"

"YEAH!" Rainbow Dash shouted, suddenly standing on the sofa, hooves raised in the air in triumph.

"Right! I'm glad you agree." Twilight announced formally, suddenly back to the clipped, professional tone she was using before. "So, just so you know, I've come to the conclusion that you have histrionic personality disorder."

"YEAH! Wait, what?" She had her head cocked, dumbfounded. "What the hay does that mean?"

"Histrionic Personality Disorder." Twilight began, reciting from memory. She had prepared her friends papers far in advance, and had essentially memorized the symptoms and descriptions of all of their issues. It was the least she could do, after all. "Characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behaviour. Wants to be the center of attention in any group of ponies, uncomfortable when they're not. Lively, interesting, and dramatic, but sometimes perceived as shallow. May engage in sexually provocative behavior to -"

"WHAT?!"

"May engage in sexually seductive or provocating behavior to -"

"Nonononono." Rainbow said, shaking her head. "I heard you the first time, you dork. But what are you even talking about?"

"I did some reading on the signs and symptoms and think it fits you. Plus, ponies with HPD need constant reassurance or approval, and are really sensitive to criticism. Remember at the Best Young Flyers competition? You were practically paralyzed with fear at the thought of messing up!"

Twilight sounded bafflingly happy to say that, like being paralyzed with fear was the best possible fate.

"But, but that doesn't meant anything!" Rainbow protested, voice cracking. Her already raspy voice was growing hoarser with all of her shouting.

Shouting.

Dramatic behavior?

The more she was thinking about it, the more...

The more...it kind of......almost...sounded exactly like her.

"There are numerous potential causes," Twilight continued importantly, ignoring the personal crisis Rainbow Dash was evidently having right in front of her. "Genetics, for one. But it's also typically rooted in childhood, which was why I was asking you about your family. There are a number of different therapies available, though, so don't worry, I can help you. The book recommends cognitive behavioral therapy, or even psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Rainbow Dash had already risen to her hooves unsteadily and stumbled out of the library in a daze.

It felt as if nothing made sense anymore. As if her entire worldview was shattered, perhaps, and she needed some time to really think things through.

But Twilight didn't notice, satisfied that she'd been able to help Rainbow Dash and that she could move onto her next friend.

Which was, she reminded herself, noting her checklist, going to be Rarity.