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The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King

by Dan_s Comments

Chapter 6: 6) Devil in Disguise

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The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Devil in Disguise by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.


It was not just a library I'd found, but a library associated with a university. Inside, preserved by cold and magic, was a treasure trove of both ancient texts and modern scientific thought, all from over a thousand years ago, when pony warred on pony, and technology was embraced.

It called for my most diligent and careful efforts. My most stringent concentration. This would be a tremendous bargaining chip. As well as a huge boon to the humans who would be coming here. No more guesses about the nature of this world. Here would be the scientific research, as well as the unexpurgated history of our benevolent masters.

"Hi there! I bet you never thought you'd have a friend like me!" Discord said as he appeared in front of me, and did a very poor version the genie's act from Aladdin. I mean worse than Homer Simpson's in Return of Jafar, he at least brought his A-game. As his act wound down, Discord floated before me. "So, I offer the three, traditional wishes. Just say the word."

I began to understand why ponies all thought he was irritating. Instead, I began scribing into the massive ice walls that encircled the settlement I have been carving loose from the ice. I pointed to it once I was done. Discord stared at the pony-high letters through a pair of granny glasses.

"Wow, you must have a lawyer or two in there with you," Discord said, "But, you've been giving me so much fun, with more fun to follow. I'll do it."

In an instant, the entire city was clear of ice. Just as I wished, several years' work done in a moment. He'd also reforested the park lands, cleared a couple of outlying towns, laid out several areas of land for tilling. Even put up several orchards. By exceeding my wildest imagination, he'd also proven who had the biggest stick on the planet.

"Now look. I like the nice, low-key approach," he told me as he leaned against my snout, "No real trouble, you playing the misunderstood underdog. But Celestia's mine. Keep her guessing, keep her depressed, even break her down and make her sob her heart out, and we live together in amicable chaos. Go beyond that, and we, you have a problem."

I nodded. The city was clear, which was my first wish. He'd gone far beyond my wishes, but I wasn't complaining. I looked at him expectantly.

"Sorry, you still have two wishes left. I can't let you talk, those were horrible movies. And as much as it pains me to admit it, humans can't live here. Something about the unfavorable catalyzation of reverse transcriptase or something. You use magic, or you die. Simple as that. But, you've got all you need to make some changes. Enjoy." He leaned close and elbowed me in the cheek. "I certainly am."

With that he vanished. I checked over the town as carefully as I could. He seemed to have done a masterful, and professional job restoring the place. No unwelcome surprises. At least none I could see or sense. No Plunder Vines or barrels full of Windingos. He had unroofed the place, so I suspect that I'd be receiving visitors. That would be unfortunate, for them.

I'd been expecting the refusal to return the humans to their native form. Shame about the voice, I thought, I would have liked to be able to talk to the pony authorities. But I suspect he would have made me sound like a Chipmunk on helium. Carry on.
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It was several days later just before sunset when the first pony boats appeared. The old notion of 'spy trawlers' came to mind as they were to a one fishing boats.

"Ahoy the land," came the cry from the lead boat.

I stuck my head out of the valley between the ice sheets. Two of the boats immediately tried to reinvent hydroplane racing. The others just stared in awe.

Be interesting if the ones staying are all Newfoals, and the ones retreating are standard ponies, I thought, Good test for casual infiltrators.

The leader, an older man and his young grandson? right out of Hemingway's 'Old Man and the Sea' approached. "My name is Michael Goodman, this is my apprentice Jose Sanchez."

I nodded. The guy had guts, but he was also a natural leader. The other boats were closing as he rowed in closer.

"These are all who're left of my company, all the rest went pony." He waited for my nod. "We were wondering if there was any place for a fishing fleet in your new country."

I nodded, and wrote 'cannery' in English and Spanish in the ice wall. Jose looked like I'd just announced Christmas. The boats drew in together and they all chattered excitedly. I left them to their discussions. I'd already figured out where this would go, and my answer. They'd either retreat, or want a tour. Either way, I would accommodate them.
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Celestial stood on the balcony and waved to her adoring ponies as she lowered the sun. Her brief 'vacation' was being conveniently forgotten. Once the cheering ended, she headed back inside as the council of war convened. There in the rapidly converted grand ballroom, the former Elements, all her generals, admirals and archmagi had assembled with their staffs. Despite the immensity of the room, it was rather crowded, except around the main table. The 'spear carriers' might have been nearly cheek to jowl, but the real decision makers had room to maneuver. The map at the center of the center table showed their target. She approved of the predatory expressions on the faces around the table.

"It is clear that this creature is planning another foray into Equestrian," Celestia said as she spread photos of the creature from its attack on Canterlot, including the message carved on the mountain almost directly below them. "We must ask ourselves if we should await its arrival, and engage it, or take the fight to it."

"Oh, I vote for an all out attack, with flaming ponies in each hand and great gouts of magic and the Elements of Harmony in the vanguard," Discord said as he arrived, on hearing the grumbling, he added, "Fashionably late. After the opening bloodbath, dump a massive potion bomb on him. After all, something half-a-million times larger than a large human will become quite the pony."

"Discord," Luna said.

"I am curious," Discord continued, ignoring her, "Do you have half-a-million doses of potion left? Do you have a way of lifting and launching half-a-million doses of potion? That's around 12000 gallons or 290 tons, including a reasonable container." He looked at the confused Newfoals standing guard around the room. "Forty-four and a third kiloliters and 260 tonnes, learn the Imperial system like civilized ponies."

Discord smiled as the enormity of the task assailed their warlike fervor. "Oh, Sparkly-poo."

The alicorn in question glared at Discord.

"Don't be so dour." Discord put a party hat on her head. "Godzilla just unearthed the Great Library at Monoceropolis."

"The lost library of Monoceropolis?" Twilight asked as her eyes grew wide, "The greatest collection of lost books in the world?" The littlest alicorn's eyes glittered with a lust undreamt of by most mortal lovers. "We have to kick him out of there and reclaim the library!"

"And endanger all those books?" Discord asked and shook his finger at Twilight. "The book bindery and printing presses there in the city wouldn't mean one copy of the lost books, but dozens, even hundreds. Copies of all, for all the major archives. And by allowing the troublemakers who want to leave to do so, and the price of their leaving would be copies of those lost plays, commentaries, histories, literature and science."

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," Twilight sang as she pronked around the warroom.

"Someone else want to pick up the thread?" Discord asked as his head spun around watching the happily dancing Twilight.

"Allowing the troublemakers to see peace is possible, " Luna said eagerly, "That the pony way of tolerance and Harmony triumphs their warlike tendencies and history."

Discord nodded. "And after a few decades of seeing ponies as their true selves they will begin to accept the inevitable, and accept their ponyness. Then they will be more amenable to Equestria, becoming good friends as the scars fade. On Earth, Britain had the Commonwealth: former colonies who stayed loyal to the mother country even after they'd 'grown up'. Imagine how good it will feel having them ask to come back, rather than dragging them back kicking and screaming. After all, true friends, true family have their arguments and tiffs. But they always come back together in the end, in love and mutual respect."

The others looked at Discord with pleased expressions, or slight confusion. But all shared the dream as he'd laid it out.

"No," Celestia said.

Even Twilight stopped hopping around and joined the others in staring at the Solar Diarch in confusion.

"They are our subjects, we are their sovereigns," Celestia said and nodded to Luna, "That is all they need to understand. The ancient pony homelands are pony soil. They will not be ceded to this monster."

"But," Twilight began, "Books."

"They will be ours again," Celestia assured Twilight. She glared at Discord. "Thank you for that amusing diversion. For once, your joke was funny."

"Thank you," Discord said, turned and left. Fluttershy and Rarity excused themselves and went after him.

"While he pointed out several, major problems, none of them are insuperable," Celestia said, "Our airships can easily carry that load. We have the stockpiles, and I doubt that we need concern ourselves with the safety of what we use. Many of the rejected batches can be used. Dropping it on target is the next problem." Celestia looked around, confirming they were back on track with her vision of events.
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Fluttershy caught up with Discord first, and hugged him. That slowed him down enough Rarity could catch up without galloping down the corridors of Canterlot.

"I will admit, I'm not the world greatest expert on friendship. But was I wrong, was I that far off base with what I proposed, or was it that I proposed it?" Discord asked.

"For a po - person ill-experienced with friendship, your plan was well thought out, and played to our people's strengths," Rarity said, "I would say it was an excellent plan. I don't think Princess Celestia rejected it out of hand simply because you proposed it. I don't understand why she rejected it."

"Don't feel bad," Fluttershy offered, "We all know you tried. Maybe when Cadence arrives, she'll champion your idea."

"Thank you," Discord said, he glanced down the corridor, "I think you two better get back to the meeting. Can't hang around with persona non grata without some of it sticking."

Both ponies frowned, but did as he suggested. When they could no longer see him, he grinned.
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I watched as Goodman and his team walked out of the cannery. Their stunned expressions at the complete and comprehensible systems told me that Discord had done expert work. I couldn't get into the buildings even to sniff around. The mustiness of these structures was gone. So evidently was the rust and corrosion I'd worried about. He'd restored them to as-built condition, all ready to go back into production.

"I think it will work," Goodman said.

Sanchez waved his arms until I looked at him. "Look, my parents were both union organizers, real rabble rousers."

That sat well with no one, but I worked especially hard to hide it. We'd need those kind of people.

"So they know how to get the word out, when management doesn't want the word spreading," the young former-human said. "You gave their royalnesses an easy target, date and location. I say you start slipping out the ones who are ready now, as an underground railroad. Her Highness hasn't started the crackdowns on dissidents yet, or rather again. Now is the time for those ready to run to run. We can get this place ready for when the first wave of refugees come in."

Here's the first test. Can I let go? I wanted to oversee this, to bring in the first wave myself, I thought, But it's already being taken away from me. I know they aren't smugglers. Newfoals are intellectually crippled that way. I guess, do I let a good idea stand, even though it's not mine, even though it goes against my plans? Or do I force my vision on them?

I carefully extended a hand to Sanchez. He took a finger in both hoofs and shook it.

That done, some of the weight of the world raises off of me. I nodded, and they returned to their boats.

Next Chapter: 7) Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 23 Minutes
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