Let’s do lunch

Nico’s Famiglia Café was a bit of a landmark in and of itself. That is to say that if a passerby on the street ever bothered to make a conscious note of the building, it could serve as a landmark. For example, if they wanted to tell a traveler how to get to Madame Mimolette’s Fondues and Don’ts, they could say that it is two doors down from the place that looks like the walls bleed at midnight. It was true that while the vast majority of the shops and restaurants in Canterlot were well kept and attractive to look at, Nico’s café was considerably more run down. The paint was cracked and peeling, the door was old and scuffed, and the metal tables and chairs outside were rusty and looked like they would stain one's clothes or fur if they sat on them. The street in question the shop resided on was home to about a dozen much nicer cafes and one might think that it was actually just an abandoned storefront if not for the simple sign in the window that read “open”. At any rate, it certainly didn’t look like the kind of place a Princess would be caught eating in.

Twilight and Shining looked up at the building and exchanged nervous glances. They had never eaten Gryphon cuisine before but they were both well aware that their neighbors in the Gryphon Empire were voracious meat eaters, raising lesser creatures to be slaughtered and cooked over a fire (or if the stories that Shining had heard were true, simply eaten raw) which was what made the sign that read “Authentic Gryphonian Cuisine” all the more unsettling. Twilight had read books about Gryphon cooking before, which to a pony was something akin to reading a serial killer’s dream journal, but she was a bit more optimistic than her brother. She knew that the Gryphons were not STRICTLY carnivorous and many dishes that ponies enjoyed on a daily basis were inspired by them so she was almost positive the menu would have something she and her brother could eat. After all, opening a restaurant that served only carnivores in a city inhabited mostly by vegetarians would be a rather silly thing to do right? And it’s not like Princess Luna herself actually ate meat right?

Right?

Shining Armor cleared his throat and stepped forward to hold the door for Princess Luna, who gave him a nod of thanks as she trotted inside, followed by Bastian and Lielle, and finally his sister and Spike, who gave a resigned sigh, having made peace with the fact that it was extremely unlikely that this run down joint had any gems for him to eat.

It’s hard out here for a dragon.

The door closed behind them and the party entered the waiting area, a small lobby that had a bench pressed against each wall for customers to sit and wait for service. The benches were vacant save for a small stack of “Grand Opening!” flyers that had accumulated a thin layer of dust. Next to the host’s podium was a chalkboard that had the day’s special scrawled across it in pink letters. To their immediate right outside of the waiting area was a long bar made of polished dark wood. The walls of the dining room were lined with tasteful wallpaper that reminded one of the seaside and the ceiling was adorned with attractive yet obviously cheap chandeliers that provided light without the use of a flame which again blew Lielle’s mind. The black and white tile floors were very clean and the heavy wooden tables were polished to a shine. Though the exterior of the shop was lacking in luster, it was obvious that the owners of this establishment made a great deal of effort to make the interior presentable. Somewhere in the restaurant, a record was playing cheerful Gryphonian string music and the party only had to wait a few seconds before a door in the back opened and a chubby, mustached Gryphon wearing a white collar, a vest, and a tie stepped out and greeted them eagerly.

“Ah!” He exclaimed, throwing his claws into the air. “Sua Maesta! How wonderful to see you again! And you brought guests! Welcome, welcome, welcome!”

Luna presented one of her hooves and allowed the Gryphon to kiss it.

“Greetings Nico.” She said. “Yes, we are to be dining with company today if thou can seat us.”

Nico laughed heartily and motioned for them to enter the dining area.

“Ah ha! As always Principessa, we have plenty of room, plenty of- Ah!”

He paused when he saw Bastian and Lielle. His smile faltered only briefly, replaced by a look of curiosity, but his charming grin returned quickly and he extended a claw to Bastian and Lielle, which they shook.

“These are our guests. Much like you, they are new to this land.” Luna explained.

“Ha! Is that so? La mia Famiglia!” Nico joked extending his arms wide in welcome. “Always happy to serve. Norma! Xilda! Come, come, we have guests!”

The door that presumably led to the kitchen opened up and a pair of female Gryphons walked around the counter and into the dining area, walking on all fours with the gait of a predator. One appeared to be about Nico’s age. She was wearing a very old white apron and a warm smile that matched her husband’s. The other was younger and didn’t greet them as warmly as Nico had. Her face looked as if it was set in a permanent scowl that seemed exclusive to teenagers. Her teal eyes narrowed at them as if they had already done something to offend her.

“Greetings Norma, young Xilda,” Luna said.

She introduced each of them in turn and in an instant Bastian and Lielle felt Norma grab each of their cheeks in her claws and give them an affectionate pinch. The two humans remained as rigid as possible, very aware of the Gryphon’s razor sharp claws that would peel the flesh from their faces like a grape if they moved too much.

“Ah!” She exclaimed in delight pinching Bastian’s cheek. “Faccia di bebe! Oh, and so skinny!”

Lielle’s gut clenched uncomfortably as she felt the Gryphon press her talons against her stomach. Norma turned her gaze to Twilight and Shining and examined each of them closely.

“No, no this will not do!” Norma said giving Luna a frown as if it was her fault her companions were malnourished. “Please, come inside, come inside!”

“They’re going to fatten us up!” Shining whispered to Twilight through a nervous smile.

“They’re just being friendly!” Twilight whispered back.

“On my signal, we’ll break for the door. If they catch us, I’ll hold them off.” Shining whispered.

“Shut up.” Twilight hissed.

“Tell mom and dad that I love them!”

“Shut up!”

“Xilda, mio caro, help your uncle push a couple of these tables together,” Nico said. “Norma, Tesoro, get our guests' something to drink, eh?”

Xilda rolled her eyes, shot them a scowl that would make a flower wilt, and followed her uncle into the dining room while Norma walked behind the bar and picked up a glass bottle filled with a clear liquid from a shelf along with a tray of small glasses.

“It is a’ so good to see you again your majesty,” Norma said pouring them all drinks. Her Equestrian was a fair bit better than her husband’s, but her accent lingered. “Tell me, when are you going to bring your sister in for a visit? We would love to have her company.”

“Princess Celestia has been quite busy as of late, we are sorry to say,” Luna said. “And that does not look like it will be changing anytime soon. However, we vow to bring her as soon as she is able.”

And that was the honest truth. If absolutely nothing else, Luna wanted to see the look on her big sister’s face when confronted by the pair of Gryphons whose native tongue did not include the sentence “No really, I am full.”

“We look forward to it,” Norma replied. “When we opened our ristorante we never imagined we would ever provide service to royalty.”

“We find the surroundings and company charming,” Luna said. “And the food is marvelous.”

A blush appeared on Norma’s feathered cheeks and she laughed heartily.

“Princess, you make my husband so proud!” Norma said as she placed the drinks in front of them.

“Um, what is it?” Twilight asked as she examined her drink cautiously.

“Aperitif my dear. It is customary to enjoy a small drink before a meal, to help with the digestion.” Norma explained. “This drink is from our homeland and quite popular.”

Twilight knew what an aperitif was. Rather she was referring to what exactly the contents of the glass were. Spike grinned and reached forward with his claw, but Twilight smacked his scaly hand away with her magic, giving him a disapproving frown.

“To your health, wealth, and happiness,” Norma said raising her glass.

They drank it down and as soon as the anise-flavored alcohol hit their throats, Lielle, Twilight and even Shining burst into a coughing fit. Norma let out a sigh of approval and licked her beak as Bastian tilted his head thoughtfully and ran his tongue across his upper lip.

“Gods!” Lielle gagged. “That’s a light drink?”

“It can be a bit strong.” Norma chuckled sheepishly. “I suppose it is a bit of a, how do you say? An acquired taste.”

“It’s still smoother than the Khajiit brother’s rotgut,” Bastian said, placing his empty glass back on the counter.

“Signore e signori,” Nico called from the main dining room. “Your table is a’ ready, please walk this way.”

The group entered the main dining room and saw that in the short time it had taken to “enjoy” their drink that two of the longer tables had been pressed together into one and a pristine white tablecloth had been draped over it. Simple ceramic plates and polished cutlery had been laid out along with glasses for drinking and a bouquet of fresh flowers served as the table’s centerpiece.

“Thank you, Nico,” Luna said as the Gryphon pulled out the chair at the head of the table for her.

“I know it’s a long shot here, but you guys wouldn’t happen to have a couple of rubies or emeralds lying around would you?” Spike asked sitting in a chair between Twilight and Shining.

“Afraid not, little one!” Nico laughed, patting the baby dragon’s head. “But do not worry, nobody ever leaves here hungry. It’s our motto!”

He pointed to an engraved plaque on the wall above the bar that read “NOBODY leaves hungry!”

There was something inherently ominous about how the word NOBODY was in all capital letters.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have the spaghetti then,” Spike said, resting his chin in his claw and pushing the menu away without even bothering to look through it.

“Ah ha ha! Not so fast little one. First, we bring you some food, then we take your order.”

“What?” Lielle asked softly.

A few minutes later Nico and his family returned bringing a large bowl of antipasto, a whole loaf of fresh garlic bread dripping in butter, and a soup filled tureen that could double as a bird bath in a pinch. Twilight and her brother’s apprehension about dining here vanished as they looked down at the food the Gryphons had brought them and the mouthwatering aroma wafted past their noses. The antipasto had obviously been tailored to suit the needs of a vegetarian, containing mushrooms, artichoke hearts, roasted peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, olives, several kinds of cheese and many other things well suited for a pony’s diet all mixed and chilled in a delicious smelling marinade. The soup was still steaming and didn’t look like it contained anything that had once had parents or an adorable fluffy body.

“Food before food,” Lielle said with glistening eyes. “I had forgotten…”

“Xil dear, get our guests a bottle of wine please,” Nico said. “A nice white to go with the soup I think.”

“Freeloaders,” Xil muttered as she walked back to the kitchen.

“There- there uh- isn’t any meat in any of this is there?” Twilight asked cautiously, actually toying with the idea of at least trying some even if it did.

“Oh signora, no of course not,” Nico said. “I mean, sure, our menu does contain dishes more suited for those who do, but we wouldn’t open a ristorante in Canterlot that served exclusively to carnivores. How would we make ends meet?”

“We barely make ends meet now,” Xil said, returning with the cheapest bottle of vino she could find. “And if you keep offering claw outs to anypony that wanders in off the street we won’t be able to keep the lights on.”

“Bah, Xilda these ponies and uh- other are our neighbors now,” Nico said waving a dismissive claw. “It is our duty to make them as comfortable as possible.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Xil said, pulling the cork out of the wine bottle with her beak. “I’m sure we’ll manage to get by on the kindness of strangers. “Madame” Silk-Stocking has been nothing but patient with us so far.”

She walked around the table and aggressively offered it to an increasingly uncomfortable Twilight and Shining.

“Oh, uh, none for me, but, um, thank you,” Twilight said nervously.

“Just water.” Shining nodded with a tight smile.

“It’s a bit early for me, thanks,” Lielle said quickly.

Xil jerked the bottle towards Bastian and gave him a threatening look as if daring him to accept.

“You may leave the bottle,” Bastian said politely tapping a finger on the table.

With an aggressive growl that would have made a filly burst into tears, Xil slammed the bottle to the table and stormed off, her feathers sticking up in annoyance.

“Uh, please a’, excuse my niece. The move, it has a’ been difficult for her.” Nico said quickly.

“It’s no problem,” Bastian said, pouring wine into Luna’s glass before topping off his own.

“Please, enjoy,” Nico said. “And if a’ you need anything else, please do not hesitate to ask.”

There was a flushing sound from the back followed by a wet gurgling and a barrage of Gryphonian curse words that would make even the saltiest sailor blush.

“Uh, maybe- maybe a bit hesitation,” Nico said nervously.

“Uncle Nico!” Xil yelled. “The toilets backed up! Again!”

“A moment nipote!” Nico called. “Mario! You are needed, Fratello! Venire, venire!”

A door marked maintenance that was next to the office opened up and a portly gryphon wearing blue overalls, a red hat, and an even larger mustache than his brother stepped out holding a tool box in his right claw and a depressed haggard look in his copper colored eyes.

“In a’ the old country, I was a doctor…” He muttered as he walked into the restroom.

“Now, I will a’ take a’ my leave of you,” Nico said with a nervous laugh. “Please, enjoy.”

He walked into the kitchen as Bastian was already topping off his wine glass again.

The food was delicious and by the time the first course was finished Twilight was already stuffed, but despite her protests, the Gryphons would hear none of it. She settled on a small salad while Shining Armor, who took their hospitality as a challenge, ordered the pumpkin ravioli and asked for more garlic bread. Luna and Spike both got the spaghetti while Bastian ordered a steak and another bottle of wine and Lielle settled on a chicken dish with pasta. Nico and Norma were a friendly and endearing pair, funny and good company for conversation while Xil prepared their food in the back.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you decide to move to Canterlot?” Twilight asked as Nico refilled her water. “Manehatten is much more diverse and would probably have been better suited for a business such as yours.”

“Si, Manehatten was the original plan, but after doing some research, we decided against it,” Nico said. “Gryphon run businesses are fairly common there and we weren’t sure if we could handle the competition of such distinguished establishments. The Gryphon presence here in Canterlot, however, was much, much lower so we figured we could carve a niche for us here.”

“However, it has not been without its troubles.” Norma sighed. “The ponies here, they simply do not come to visit us. They would rather dine at their fancy cafes and trendy speakeasies. Bah! A bunch of peacocks.”

“Now, now Norma,” Nico said disapprovingly. “We have had our fair share of customers and a member of the royal family is one of our regulars. We are doing just fine, I think.”

“The snot nosed brats come here because it’s “ironic,” Xilda said, wheeling out a cart of food. “They’re laughing at us.”

“I get the impression that the Unicorns here are not terribly fond of outlanders,” Bastian said as Norma placed his plate in front of him.

Lielle gave him a disapproving frown, but this quickly vanished at the sight of her own food.

“You are right, you are right,” Norma said waving a claw with a sigh. “We figured at first that everyone, whether they are a pony or a Gryphon or what have you, regards strangers with some suspicion. This is true, we are all guilty of it! We thought that they would eventually come around, but most that stopped by only take a quick look around before leaving without so much as a hello. Our establishment is modest, yes, but we are here to cook. If you want atmosphere you can go to one of those fancy “bistros” that serve spazzatura kept under a heating lamp all day. And the servings! You think their guests are mice!”

“I heard that!” Shining said levitating his fork in the air. “I’ll give you guy’s credit, you know how to measure a portion!”

Twilight scoffed and rolled her eyes as her brother dug into his food. She levitated her own bite of salad into her own mouth and took a bite. The mare’s pupils expanded and she gasped.

“O…M...G! This is delicious!”

Bastian blinked in confusion and looked to Luna for an explanation regarding the odd expression that was “omg” but the princess merely shrugged and twirled her fork around her pasta.

“This is wonderful!” Twilight said, examining the menu. “A salad this fresh would easily cost three times as much at any other place here in Canterlot.”

“I am glad you like it, dear,” Norma said. “We tend our own garden in the back, so everything we use is fresh.”

“You guys are obviously talented and very passionate about what you do,” Shining said. “I gotta ask, why did you guys decide to move here anyway?”

Nico and Norma exchanged uncomfortable glances.

“Well, uh,.” Nico said awkwardly clearing his throat. “As you may or may not a’ know, the Gryphon Empire has certainly seen better days. With the empire divided into three kingdoms, resources are growing scarcer every single day.”

“Judging by your accent I’d say that you were from the southern kingdom, right?” Twilight asked.

“Ah, si si!” Nico laughed. “That is correct. Norma and I were both born in the southern islands of the Empire and we had every intention of settling down and starting our own family there, but after taking in our niece Xilda in as our own, we decided that a fresh start would be good for us all.”

“If things are so bad, why haven’t the Gryphons asked the Princesses for help?” Lielle asked. “I uh, don’t mean to speak on your behalf your majesty, but you and your sister have done so much for us in the short time that we have been here. I’m sure you could help their people as well.”

“It has been attempted many times,” Luna said. “But relationships between Equestria and the Gryphon Empire have always been... frustrating.”

“How do you mean?” Bastian asked.

“We Gryphons can be a stubborn lot,” Nico said with an awkward chuckle. “In addition to this, Gryphons can be… shall we say, covetous by nature? Many times, the Empire has attempted to take land and resources from Equestria by force, but have been repelled every single time. After these unfortunate skirmishes, Principessa Celestia has always been the first to forgive and extend an olive branch of peace and union but more often than not, the Emperor that is occupying the throne at the time turns her away.”

“Yeah, whenever a new Emperor takes over the throne, attacking Equestria and getting a visit from the Princess is pretty much considered a rite of passage for new rulers nowadays.” Shining Armor explained. “When I first joined the royal guard, me and about a dozen others had accompanied Celestia to the Northern Kingdom to speak with their Emperor and offer them help but as usual he turned the Princess down.”

“Yes.” Nico nodded glumly. “Emperor Grigori of the mountain kingdom, who sits on the sky throne. I believe his heart to be in the right place, but as I said we Gryphons can be a stubborn lot. The Southern Islands have always loved Equestria and we have wanted to join under their banner for years, but establishing the Kingdom of Gryphonstone was as close as any of us have ever gotten.”

“So Gryphons do have a presence in this land?” Bastian asked.

“That is correct,” Luna said. “They have a small kingdom to the east across the Celestial Sea. They govern themselves, although their land is still considered a part of Equestria. Many moons ago when our land was young, the royal sisters encountered a band of Gryphons that had migrated from further East, across the mountains. We managed to arrange peace with them without resorting to violence and ever since then they have had their own kingdom.”

“I don’t get it,” Spike said, wiping his mouth with the back of a claw. “If you guys in the Gryphon Empire love Equestria so much, why don’t all of you just move here if you don’t like the way your emperor is running things?”

“Because it isn’t home,” Lielle said softly. “No matter how much better things might be somewhere else, it still wasn’t the place where you were born. It wasn’t the place you were raised and where you grew up. The place you loved. You don’t want to go somewhere new. You want the land you love to get better. Not continue to fall apart and force you into exile.”

Nico nodded stiffly and offered them a forced smile.

“Y-yes,” Nico said. “Quite right, signorina. Uh, excuse us please, we have to tend to something in the back. Please, enjoy the rest of your meal.”

He and Norma returned to the kitchen and Luna turned to face Lielle and Bastian.

“We understand that this whole affair must be difficult for you all. We will do our best to ensure that your people prosper within our borders, you have our word. The heartache of losing your home may never truly fade, but we hope that with time it will lessen and future generations of your people will come to love our land as much as we do.”

“I am sure they will your majesty. Please, don’t let my words trouble you. Uh, what- what did you have in mind to discuss?” Lielle asked changing the subject.

“Of course,” Luna said. “We thought it might help thy people along if we had laborers come to thy newly acquired land and lend aid in the construction of homes. It would undoubtedly hurry the process along and offer thy people the opportunity to gain access to the more modern amenities our land has to offer.”

“Like the whoosh bowls?” Lielle asked.

“Flush toilets.” Twilight corrected. “And something to consider is that a lot of the things you’ve seen in Ponyville and Canterlot are powered by electricity or magic, or some combination of the two. The land you will be building on is pretty much wilderness. If you wanted to give your people access to power you’d have to work something out with the Equestrian Utilities Department in Ponyville but that’s going to take time and money.”

“We can do without all that for now,” Bastian said dismissively. “We didn’t have any of those things in Skyrim, putting them off for a while won’t make much difference. We don’t even know how much money we’ll have at our disposal.”

“You promised me we could have whoosh bowls,” Lielle said.

“I am sure I said no such thing,” Bastian said. “And I appreciate the offer of aid your majesty, but I think it would be better for our people to begin the initial construction themselves and gradually introduce them to new things as time progresses. Our people have had everything they have ever known taken from them and now they find themselves far from home in a new world that, and I say this with respect, your majesty, is bizarre and alien to them. The Nords have always been a conservative people, stubbornly set in their customs and traditions. The events of the past few years have forced them to make decisions that conflict with their beliefs. They need to feel in control of their destiny again and I think that the best way for us to do that is to let them set the foundation themselves.”

“That’s quite insightful of thee Mister Bellrend,” Luna said. “If thou think that this is what thy people require then we will support your decision, however, let it never be forgotten that help will always be given to those who ask for it.”

“With all due respect, your majesty there is a higher chance of the world-eater himself burning Canterlot to the ground than that of a Nord asking for help,” Bastian said. “As intrigued as Lielle and I may be about these wonders of magic and science we have seen in our short time here, Nords are much more minimalistic in their lifestyle. If it cannot be made from steel or wood with their own two hands, they seldom find a use for it.”

“Minimalists be damned,” Lielle said. “I want a whoosh bowl!”

“Lielle,” Twilight sighed. “For the third time, they’re called-

She caught Lielle’s grin and the two girls chuckled.

“At any rate,” Bastian continued. “Anything that can be used to directly improve the health and quality of life of our people, of course, I would like to implement them, but progress has never been fleet of foot in any society in Tamriel and that goes double for the Nords. We will give them time to build and establish themselves, get the lay of the land and then once their lives have returned to some degree of normalcy we will start introducing them to new aspects of life here in Equestria.”

“We believe that your plan is sound,” Luna said. Her horn glowed and her wine glass rose into the air. “We would propose a toast to you Bastian Bellrend, the reluctant Jarl of- Hm. We apologize, but we do not recall the name you have selected for your village.”

“We have not really come up with one yet, but thank you, your majesty. I will try to live up to you and your sister’s expectations.” Bastian said with only the faintest passive aggressive tone in his voice.

“As long as you keep the interests of your people in your heart, I am sure you will perform adequately.” Luna retorted coolly.

“Let’s eat shall we?” Lielle said quickly.

“Y-yeah!” Twilight said a little loudly. “This food is so good! I-it’d be a shame if your, uh meat got cold!”

“I uh, actually finished mine while you guys were talking,” Shining said.

From out of nowhere, Nico placed another plate of ravioli in front of the Unicorn.

“Oh!” Shining exclaimed happily. “Can I look at a dessert menu?”

Two menus were quickly shoved in his face.