Weeks had passed since the event had taken place.

It was a nice, peaceful day in Ponyville. I had just gotten out of class and I was drained of energy. All I wanted to do was go to Sugercube Corner get a nice chocolate milkshake and then head straight home for a nap. After walking from my class for a few minutes I arrived at my destination. This wasn't usually a busy day so I was expecting a somewhat empty restaurant. What I was greeted by was a growing crowd and two bickering stallions. Why was this of importance? Why was their a crowd?

They were both unicorns. One had a dark blue coat with a black mane that had white streaks. He also had a distinguishable red tudor cap. The one who sat across him was a pony with a light gray coat and, dare I say, "cute" purple and pink hair. He also had a half-empty pack of cigarettes next to his drink. I then started to remember that they were some local tv critics. Almost everyone hated how they ruined their favorite shows. I personally didn't have much knowledge on them.

The argument that beset them started to develop before my eyes. It didn't really make much sense to me though.

"Look Tom...", said the grey one, "I think we can clearly see who best pony is..."

"Yeah!", said, who I presumed Tom was, "Its obviously Rarity! I'm glad we finally came to an agreement Digi!"

"No...", replied Digi, "Applejack has much better development! She is the dependable one."

"Rarity is best horse she has grown as a character, has ambitions, and is sex... I mean fabulous..."

"Tom how many times do I have to say AJ has that southern flare!"

I was very confused by their statements. Why were they talking about two of the famous element bearers like they were mere characters to be fought over. I looked at the mare behind the counter, Pinkie, and asked, "What are they doing?"

She greeted me with a giggle before saying, "Silly. They are analysis bronies. They're doing what they do best: Arguing!"

"I get that, but I don't get the argument..."

"I know right. Me neither... I am obviously best pony!"

"Wait, wha..?"

"Oooh! Wait up! It looks like something is happening!"

I turned to look and see the two. They were now standing and glaring at each other with death stares. I was even more confused than before. I wondered if they were going to fight, but what happened next surprised me. Both their horns started to glow. Then, in a flash, two microphones were in front of them. Pinkie suddenly turned to me. "Ooh! You seem left out. Here, take these!" she then threw another microphone and a piece of paper at me. I caught them with my magic.

"What are these?", I asked.

"That's a microphone... you speak into it and then the sound waves travel down the cord and into the..."

"I know what it is, but what do you want me to do with it?"

"Yell out what's on the script with a cool voice for announcing!"

"For wha...?"

"You are really slow with this... Look, just do it, and it will all make sense after!"

Out of seemingly nowhere, a really nice beat started playing. I thought to myself. Why would I want or need to do this. Then again, she was supposed to make me a milkshake, so I might as well do as she asked. I then turned to the two and read off the script and into the mic.

BRONY RAP BATTLES OF THE INTERNET!

Tommy Oliver

VS.

Digibro

Hey-hey everyponay

I'm 'bout to put this pone in his place

You view yourself as a literature connoisseur

Cause this story ends with you lyrically skewered

I can Analyze and fine your deeper meaning

Really... you just need a deeper cleaning

When's the last time you took a bath?

Back in Season 3? You do the math...

Your reviews, views seem to never hit your goal

It might be because you're a cynical asshole

You never have anything clever to say

We honestly want you to just go away

A good video by Tom? Now that's unseen

Just cry like Godzilla. Twenty-fourteen

Everything you do just makes me furious

And all you have to say is "Stay Curious"?

What... the... Fuck

Seriously... that rapping sucks

You got famous on nothing but luck

Me? I had to kick and buck

To get to where I am today

Now. I'm here to deliver the pain

Your chance of success is quickly dwindling

Bad news for you, cause it's only the beginning

I write masterful stories, you lay around and droop

I make beautiful art, you stare at anime boobs

Get yourself some self-respect man

You've earned nothing, but lackadaisical fans

I'm here to dissect a real man's show

I'm talkin' 'bout the My Little Pones

If all you want to do is smoke your life away

I'll sit right here and watch you decay.

You're just a bulky tudor capped sap

You got that pedo stache and absurd versed raps

None of us will ever forget, that author surrogate you placed

Put'in you're willie in a filly? That's a disgrace

Please! You wouldn't know a plot

If it hit you like a brick, so stop

You've had your shot

And you failed to hit the spot

Saying you had a chance from the start was generous

You're nothing more than a bitch who's overzealous

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

BRONY RAP BATTLES OF THE INTERNET! Next Chapter: #2 PaleoSteno V. Saberspark Estimated time remaining: 3 Minutes