Chapter 8:

Two Tickets to Paradise

(Takes place during ‘The Ticket Master’)

It had been a few days since I had told the others, Spike included, as much as I could about my Traveling. It had taken a couple of days, not helped by the fact that Pinkie Pie kept asking me to say, “Take me to your leader,” but I had finally managed to tell them the gist of it. They now knew the bare basics of what I do, but I hadn’t told them the full extent of my abilities or what realities/universes I’d been to. I did manage to warn them that I might have to leave at any random time, and there wasn’t any sure-fire way of knowing when I’d be back.

But we would cross that bridge when we got to it.

Anyways, since I figured I shouldn’t impose on the Apple family any longer, I decided that I should start building my H.Q for this world. And by H.Q, I mean place-where-I-can-keep-my-stuff-and-sleep, among other things. With the help of Fluttershy, I had picked a spot of land that was just on the outskirts of Ponyville. This way I could be close enough to keep an eye on the ponies, but at the same time there was a small group of trees that would keep everypony from watching me. This way I could use my own special brands of magic to help speed up the building process.

“Now let’s see,” I muttered to myself, as I went over mental blueprints. I gazed at the land in front of me, and tried to figure out how I was gonna build my H.Q. The easiest way would be for me to just set up a tarp over a couple of twigs and call it a house, but something told me that I should build something a little more…lasting.

I thought about it and then decided to take a small risk. I glanced around, triple checking to make sure that nopony could see me, and then I opened a small Pocket Dimension.

Pocket Dimensions, P.D for short, are EXTREMELY useful. Basically, it’s like a mobile warehouse that you can access at any moment, as long as you have the strength to do so. Their holding capacity is virtually unlimited, and you can store anything you need to in there. Now, there are a couple of drawbacks though. For example, you need to have 100% focus when opening one. If you don’t, then all you do is wave your hand, or hoof, or other appendage in the air like an idiot. Next, if you forget to close it, anything can wander into it and steal your stuff. So be careful, or you could let an evil villain get a hold of your unstoppable Doomsday-inator.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

I reached my hoof into the opening and rummaged through the mess. Falling into old habits, I started talking to myself while I pulled out random tools and materials. “Hammer, nails, wood, more wood, stone, soda- SODA!” I stopped for a moment and chugged a bottle of Coke. “Okay, focus! Where was I? Oh yeah!” I reached into the P.D. and pulled out four large stone pillars. I won’t bore you with everything else I pulled out, since it’s just another set of building materials.

I looked over the assembled materials and nodded, satisfied. Checking again to make sure I was completely alone, I shifted into Human form and went to work.

“First things first,” I mumbled, and then I summoned my Wizard’s Aura. I felt my body grow physically weaker, while my thoughts sharpened and quickly became clear. My clothes morphed into a set of purple robes, and my beard became thicker and peppered with flecks of gray. My hair grew until it brushed the tips of my shoulders, and I could feel the magic that permeated the area. I grinned as a song started playing in my head.

“Misty morning, clouds in the sky. Without warning, a wizard walks by,” I sang, lifting my hand. With a snap of my fingers, I started chanting as the wooden boards set themselves into place on the ground. Another wave of my hand and the hammers lifted and started pounding nails into place. I whistled and looked pointedly at the pillars that were just lying on the ground.

“What are you doing, just lazing around there?” I asked them. “Get up! Go get into your places, come on now!” I clapped my hands impatiently. “Move!”

The pillars jumped up and quickly floated into position, forming the corners of a square around the construction site. I muttered under my breath and then called out, “You there! Top left corner pillar! You’re off by a couple inches! Move to the left!”

The pillar in question rose up off the ground and moved to the left, forming a perfect square. “That’s more like it! You there, hammer number 4! Pick up the pace, you’re falling behind!”

It continued on like this for a couple of hours before I finally called out, “Alright, good work everyone! This house was finished in record time!” I opened the P.D again and said, “Tools, you are dismissed!”

The tools floated in, suspended by magic, and I closed the P.D and dismissed the aura. With a heavy sigh, I sank to the ground and looked at the fruits of my labors…okay, the tools’ labors, but it was technically my magic.

The house was two stories high and solidly built. I had taken a leaf out of the Dwarves’ books and made sure that the lower half of the house was made out of huge slabs of rectangular stone, while the top half was made out of glass, forming a solid dome that could withstand the elements. The door was made of solid oak, and it was one of those doors where you could open the top or bottom half of it.

I resolved to check how the inside looked later. Right now, I had to deal with the stone pillars. Focusing on them, I picked myself up off the ground, ignoring my weariness and sudden hunger and walked over to the nearest one.

Inscribed on it were all sorts of runes, each one meaning things like protection, shield, fire, water, and space. I touched my palm to it and sent a spark of energy into it that should have activated it, but instead of glowing in a soft aurora of colors, like they normally would, they briefly flashed orange and went dormant.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” I complained. “Okay, so you’ll only respond to this world’s brand of magic, right?” I sent another spark, just to be sure, and the runes flashed orange again.

“Damn it! But I can’t use this world’s magic, as I’m not a unicorn! I can only turn into an Earth Pony!” I complained. I shifted into Earth Pony form for emphasis. “See?!”

As I waited for the stones to respond, I smacked myself on the head. “Crap. It’s bad enough I’m talking to a pillar, now I’m expecting a response. Son of a bitch.”

I trotted back and forth and tried to think for a moment. “Okay, think. I can’t use Pony magic, so I need to find somepony who can. Hmm…” I scratched my head and then smiled. “Duh! Just ask Twilight! She should be able to jumpstart it!”

I walked to the path and heard my stomach grumble. “Okay, I’ll ask her over lunch. I still have a few bits left over.”

With that, I headed into Ponyville, whistling as I walked.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

When I walked into town, I saw something strange. Twilight Sparkle was on the ground covering her ears, while all five of the other ponies were arguing in heated voices about something. Spike was off to the side, trying his best to stay out of it. He spotted me and frantically waved me over.

“What’s up Spike?” I asked, picking up two golden tickets that were lying on the ground. “And what’s with the tickets? Do we get to go to Wonka’s chocolate factory?”

“No! Twilight got two tickets to go to the Grand Galloping Gala,” Spike explained, pointing at the tickets.

“Aw, I was really looking forward to a tour of the chocolate factory,” I said, shaking my head. “But why are they all arguing?”

“Twilight only got two tickets and they all want to go!”

“Oh, that makes sense,” I said, glancing at the Tickets. “So, this Grand Galloping Gala thing is a pretty big deal then?”

Spike said something, but the noise of the argument was too loud for me to hear anything he said.

“Hold that thought Spike,” I said, handing him the tickets.

I walked over to where the Ponies were yelling, and I roared in my loudest and angriest tone, “QUIIIIIET!”

“And then I said, ‘Oatmeal? Are you crazy?’ and-” Pinkie realized everyone had gone silent, and she went, “Oh.”

“Ladies, come on now! Is arguing gonna get you anywhere?” I said, while I helped Twilight up.

“But-” Rarity started, but Twilight cut her off quickly.

“Eh! This is my decision and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise.” Her stomach started growling, and she added, “Not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo!”

All of the Ponies present started grumbling and walked off, looking grumpy. Spike started to walk off too, and I called out, “Spike, I think you’re fine.”

He grinned sheepishly and came back, while Twilight called out to the other ponies, “And don't worry, I'll figure this out...somehow.”

She hung her head dejectedly, and I walked up to her and held out the tickets. She looked at me and groaned, “Please don’t tell me you want a ticket too!”

“Don’t worry Twi, I’ve already seen the chocolate factory a few times, I don’t need a ticket. Actually, I came into town hoping I could get a bite to eat and ask you something. I take it that you want some food too?”

Her stomach growled, and I chuckled. “That settles it. Come on, lunch is on me!”

She started to protest, but I simply waved the tickets in front of her and said, “You can tell me all about your problem while we eat!”

She finally said, “Fine, but only because you’re buying!”

“And because your stomach will eat itself if you don’t get some food,” I teased.

“That too.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Alright, let me get this straight. You got two tickets to the biggest party of the year?” I asked as I hoofed through a menu. We were at some restaurant that had a picture of a three-leafed clover as its logo, and I noticed that it was pretty popular since the inside barely had any tables available and we had to sit outside.

Twilight set her head down on the table and sighed, saying, “Right.”

“And everypony wants to go for their own respective reasons. Applejack wants to raise money for her farm, Rainbow Dash wants to try and get in with the Wonderbolts, Pinkie doesn’t want to miss out on the biggest party of the year, Rarity wants to meet the stallion of her dreams,” (Spike looked pissed when I said that) “and Fluttershy wants to see all the animals.”

“Right again.”

I took on a thoughtful expression and then asked Spike, “Hey, what do you suggest I get? The Hay Fries look good, but then again, the clover salad somehow appeals to me too…”

“Omnius, be serious!” Twilight said pleadingly.

“You’re right Twilight, the Hay Fries do go well with ketchup,” I said, folding the menu. “Sorry, my stomach can take temporary control at times. Well, what do you think you should do Twilight?”

“I don’t know. Five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala.” She sighed and used her magic to start plucking a flower from the flower jar on the table. “Applejack or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy – Rarity. Oh who should go with me?” She looked at the petals she had plucked and then licked them all up.

“Ew,” I said cheerfully.

“Have you made your decision?” A high upper-class French voice asked.

The pressure getting to her, Twilight lifted her head up off the table and cried out, “I CAN’T DECIDE!”

“Twilight, he just wants to take your order,” Spike said, pointing at the waiter pony who had just spoken.

Twilight immediately composed herself and said, “Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich.”

Spike stole a quick glance at the menu again, before asking, “Do you have any rubies? No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy.” He tossed his menu behind him, much to the displeasure of the waiter.

I got up, picked up the fallen menu, and hoofed it to the waiter, saying, “Sorry about that. I’ll have what he’s having.” I handed him my menu, and he nodded, walking away to get our food.

“What do you think Spike? Omnius?” Twilight asked as the waiter walked away.

“I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?” Spike said, shrugging.

“I mean about the Gala, the ticket, and who I should take!” Twilight said irritably.

“You know what I call a problem like this?” I asked.

Twilight tilted her head and asked, “What?”

“Tuesday,” I said, sighing as my stomach growled.

“You’ve had to deal with a problem like this before?” Twilight asked hopefully.

“Well, admittedly it was between fewer people, but yeah, I have.” I looked towards the restaurant and said, “Ye Gods, I hope they get us our food soon. I’m starving after all that magic use.”

“You used magic?” Twilight asked, her confusion evident on her face. “But you’re an Earth pony! You can’t use magic!”

“Oh ye of little faith. Have you forgotten my other form?” I asked, mentally debating whether I should eat a flower or not.

“You can do magic in human form?” She asked, her curiosity peaked. It looked like she also wanted to get her mind off of her problem, and I was all but happy to oblige her.

“Yeah. Oh, hey that reminds me! I need you to do me a favor.” I grabbed a flower and munched on it while I spoke. “See, I have these pillars that are covered with runes, and I need you to help me get the magic inside of them jumpstarted, so I can finish my building.”

“What are you building?”

“My house.”

“Why does your house need pillars that are covered with runes?” She asked.

“It’s not my house that needs them, it’s my basement,” I replied, spitting out the stem of the flower.

“Okay, why does your BASEMENT need them then?” She asked, rolling her eyes.

“Because Wall-Mart was out of Lawn Gnomes,” I said, shrugging.

“What’s Wall-Mart? No, wait, we’re getting off topic! How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies.  What if I-”

The waiter appeared, right on cue, and said, “Ah, your food.”

I licked my lips and stared at the massive pile of fries that were in front of me. Something that struck me as odd was the fact that I hadn’t even thought once about eating meat in pony form. Must have had something to do with the vegetarian style diets of the ponies (although that didn’t explain how they could still use eggs in baking, or milk for…well, milk).

“Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat,” Twilight said gratefully. She lifted the sandwich to her mouth and was about to take a huge bite out of it…

When a sudden stampede of Ponies ran inside, distracting all of us from our meals. I shrugged and continued pouring ketchup all over my fries.

“Em, madam? Monsieur?” I looked up and saw that the waiter pony was standing in the doorway and looking concernedly at us. “Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?”

“It’s not raining,” Twilight said, looking around.

“What was that Twilight? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of the rain,” I said sarcastically, pushing my wet mane out of my eyes. Strangely enough, it was raining heavily everywhere, except where Twilight and Spike sat. For some reason though, I was the only one at our table getting soaked, along with my food.

“What’s going on?” Twilight asked, confused.

I looked up into the patch of sky above us that was clear of any rain clouds and said, “I might have an idea. What’s rainbow colored, flies and- wait, that question’s too obvious.”

Twilight looked up into the sky, and we both saw Rainbow Dash stick her out her head and call out in an overly cheerful voice, “Hi there best friend forever I've ever ever had!” (What am I, chopped liver?) “Enjoying the sunny weather?”

“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?”

“Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that's all,” She said, way too innocently to be believed.

“Well, I’m flattered that you think I’m that pretty Rainbow Dash!” I said in an overly feminine voice, feigning happiness. “But I’m a ‘HE’ not a ‘SHE’, silly! And some of the rain is still getting on me!”

“Not you, Twilight!” Dash called out with a hint of anger in her voice.

“Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?” Twilight asked suspiciously, clearly not believing a word Rainbow said.

“Me? No no no, of course not!” Rainbow said in the same tone of innocence as before.

“Uh-huh.”

“Seriously, I'd do it for any pony!”

I made a coughing sound and said, “Hi! Would you mind doing me a favor?”

Rainbow Dash giggled nervously, and Twilight said, “Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.”

“Ugh, fine,” Rainbow Dash relented, zipping up the hole in the cloud.

“That’s better!” She said, right before all of the food was ruined by the rain.

“My fries! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why must the tasty die soggy?!?” I screamed overdramatically, while I put my head on the table and banged my hoof on it.

“You done?” Twilight asked grumpily.

“…Yeah, I got it out of my system,” I said, looking mournfully at my fries. I looked to the door of the restaurant, where the waiter was still standing, and called out, “I still have to pay for these, don’t I?”

“Oui monsieur.”

“Figures.” I pulled out my small pouch of bits and placed some on the table. “But you have to come out here and grab them!”

He made a small, “Hmph,” of displeasure and retreated inside.

Spike barely suppressed a laugh, and I snickered with him. Pardon the pun, but it served him right, making me pay for a ruined meal.

“Twilight, it’s raining!” I turned, and saw that Rarity had shown up, wearing an umbrella/saddle thing (Umbr-addle? Saddle-ella?) on her back.

“No, really?” Twilight asked sarcastically.

“Come with me before you catch a cold!” Rarity said, grabbing Twilight and taking her away.

I sat in the rain for a few moments with Spike, before I started saying, “Oh hi Rarity! Nice to see you. What’s that? You’d like to invite me and Spike to the Boutique so we won’t be left soaking in the rain? Why how GENEROUS of you!”

I looked at Spike and asked him, “Think we should follow them? Hey, Traveler to Spike! Come in Spike!”

Spike shook the hearts out of his eyes and said, “Huh? What?”

I face-hoofed and said, “Come on Spike, we just got invited to Rarity’s.”

His eyes widened and he took off, running ahead of me.

“Geez, mention Rarity to him and he’ll be off faster than me whenever there’s an unguarded Twinkie in the area,” I grumbled, walking after him.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I opened the door to the Boutique and walked in just in time to see Twilight shake herself dry and accidentally soak Rarity in the process. Partly because I didn’t want to get water all over Rarity’s shop, and partly because I was still a little aggravated at being left in the rain, I shook myself dry and managed to get all of the drops on Rarity too (Karma!).

“Uh, heh heh, oops. Sorry,” Twilight apologized, after seeing a soaked Rarity.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Thanks for letting us stay here until that storm blows over,” I apologized and thanked at the same time.

“Oh no, it's quite alright,” Rarity forced out through a tight smile. “After all, we are... the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?”

“Give each other food?” I asked hopefully while my stomach growled.

“No…MAKEOVERS!” Rarity said joyfully, her horn glowing as she pulled one of those changing panel/wall things over to where she and Twilight stood.

“Suck up senses…tingling,” I whispered to myself as I winced at the sounds of struggle coming from behind the curtain (screw it, I’m calling it that).

“There! Oh, you’re simply darling!” Rarity crooned as she removed the curtain, allowing us to see Twilight in a fancy saddle.

“Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it?” Twilight said, smiling.

“It does look pretty on you,” I said, backing up slowly. I’ve watched Saturday morning cartoons before, I can see where this is going!

Spike pretended to gag until Rarity pulled him aside and said, “And you. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent!”

She pulled the curtain around them again, and while Spike tried his best to escape, he fell to the clutches of Rarity’s OCD (Obsessive Clothes Designing) tendencies. When the curtain was removed, I had to stifle a laugh. He was standing in an old, Victorian styled blue shirt and trousers, and Rarity had somehow managed to force a sparkling golden wig on his head.

“Now you just need a hat!” Rarity declared, before fitting a miniature black sombrero thing with a feather in it onto the dragon.

I laughed once it was fitted onto him, and then Rarity said, “As for you, well we must give you something stylish!” Uh oh.

I immediately tried to go the other direction, before the curtain was lifted in front of me and Rarity. I threw myself to the floor, and tried to claw my way out, before I felt myself being dragged backwards.

“Help...Me...” I whispered, before I was pulled behind the curtain, and forced into…into…

“Gah!” I shouted once I looked at myself. I was in a dark blue tuxedo, with frills around the neck and hooves, and I felt a bowtie being tied around my neck. The tux had golden shoulder pads, and the coat tail was overly long and curly. I felt my glasses being taken off, and then a monocle was forced on me.

“Oh, Omnius, don’t you look smashing!” Rarity said, levitating a top hat onto me.

I looked at the mirror, and said in a deadpan tone, “I look bloody ridiculous. It’s not the suit though, it’s me. I’m not one for old style suits.”

“Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk, see you back at the library!” Spike called out, running away so fast that his clothes were left suspended in the air for several moments.

“Spike, WAIT FOR ME!” I called out, running after him. As soon as I ran outside, lightning flashed, and I charged back inside. “On second thought, this suit really brings out my eyes, doesn’t it?”

Is it just me, or do I have incredibly bad luck with lightning?

Rarity looked displeased, as if she expected me to leave once I had been all gussied up and suited. Hey, wait a second…Rainbow Dash tried to bribe Twilight by kicking a hole in the clouds so she could eat in peace…My finely honed detective skills are telling me that Rarity might be trying to bribe Twilight, but why would she want me out?

I then realized something: She didn’t know that I didn’t want the tickets! That would explain why Rainbow got all snappy at me, and why Rarity had tried to make me leave by overdressing me! Alright then, I’ll play along…for now.

“Hey, Rarity, do you mind if I go into the other room and take off this suit?” I asked, tugging at the tight collar.

“Oh, go right ahead! Just be careful not to rip anything!” She said, looking relieved and using her magic to open a door. She levitated my glasses back to me, and I accepted them gratefully.

“Thanks,” I said quickly. I ducked into the other room and heard the door slam shut behind me. I turned and grasped the knob in my hoof. Giving it an experimental twist, I was unsurprised to find that it had been locked. “Oh Rarity, you predictable pony,” I chuckled. I carefully removed the clothes and placed them in a neat little pile by the doorway. Pressing my ear against the keyhole, I attempted to listen to what the unicorns were talking about.

“Oh, who needs him anyway? This is all about you and how fabulous you'll look at The Grand Galloping Gala!” Rarity said, oozing flattery.

“Wait, the Gala?” Twilight replied, finally catching on to what Rarity was trying to pull.

I laughed when I heard that, already knowing that Rarity’s plan had failed. I scratched at my beard and looked around. The room was filled with bundles of fabric and some unfinished dresses. A small window let in some sunlight, and I thought to myself, ‘Huh, guess it’s stopped raining.’ I walked over to the window, opened it, and barely managed to squeeze through, dropping onto the ground outside.

“Dammit,” I cursed, shaking off some of the mud I had fallen in.

“Howdy Omnius!” Applejack shouted from a cart filled with apple related goodies.

“Hey A.J,” I called back, adjusting my glasses. I’m amazed these things haven’t broken yet, what with all the abuse I put them through.

“Y’all wouldn’t have happened to have seen Twilight, would you?” She asked innocently.

“Yeah, she’s in the Carousal Boutique, getting some sort of dress thing from Rarity. Hey, are any of those pies for sale?” I asked, my stomach roaring at the prospect of food.

“Why that no good snake in the grass!” Applejack said, ignoring my question and glaring at the boutique.

“Um, yeah, hey, about those pies?”

Applejack stormed off and ran to the door of the boutique.

I sighed and walked away, hoping my stomach wouldn’t make me do something stupid. I wandered around aimlessly, trying to think of a solution to Twilight’s problem that wouldn’t leave everypony disappointed. I finally shrugged and headed back to my house, hoping that this madness would resolve itself soon.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I opened the oak door and hit my head on the top half that I had forgotten to open. Swearing, I opened the top half and walked into my new residence.

“Huh…not bad,” I commented, looking around. “A little bare, but I’m pretty sure that I can get some furniture later…”

I walked around, giving myself the tour. There was a large living room, with a humongous fireplace set into the farthest wall (which was currently soaked from the earlier rainstorm). A couple of nails protruded from the walls, a message from my tools, telling me to hang up some pictures or something. A granite countertop separated the kitchen from the living room, and a few stools were already set up around it. I got confused when I saw the stools, as I didn’t imagine ponies using them, but hey, if that’s what the tools thought, then I may as well go along with it.

Checking the cupboards and nearby refrigerator for food (and swearing again when I didn’t find any), it occurred to me that my fridge had turned on without being connected to an electrical grid.

“Magic. That’s how it does it. Magic,” I said, not wanting to think too hard about it.

I headed out of the kitchen and walked up the stairs (a slightly dangerous process, as I had yet to climb them on four legs), deciding to see what the sleeping arrangements were like.

At the sight of the three empty rooms that were bare of any type of furnishings, I slapped a hoof onto my face and said, “Right, I need to get beds. Crap. Note to self: Figure out way to earn bits for furniture…and other things.”

I opened the closet in the master bedroom, and a bright smile lit up my face. Sitting in a corner of the closet was my Traveler’s Blade, wrapped in a plain white shroud with only the hilt sticking out of it.

I grabbed the shroud in my teeth and gently unwrapped the sword, revealing the shining, white, key shaped blade, still as perfect as the day I first got it. “Man does this bring me back,” I whispered, remembering some of the battles I had won and lost with this blade.

My Traveler’s Blade was unique in that it wasn’t just a weapon, but it was a tool that could absorb the powers of other weapons and add it to its own strength, or ‘Base’ as I called it. As I Traveled, the more that I saw, the more that I grew, the more weapons it could add to its repertoire. So far, there were only three weapons that I had decided to use for its bases. The bases also changed the weapon’s appearance, depending on which one was currently being used.

The first base was the Keyblade, a weapon that could change form and abilities by adding the symbol of a reality to it, in the form of a keychain. The keychain almost always took on the form of an item that was vital to the story or occasionally the logo of one of my friends. Right now, the keychain attached to it was simple wooden cross attached by rosary beads, giving the weapon raised power in Light and Fire magics, while also raising the strength of the wielder. I dubbed this form, “Excalibrae-Caliburnis.”

The second base was the Vampire Killer whip, a reminder of my adventures with the Belmont clan. The whip was legendary in the fact that it could be used against all manner of supernatural creatures and was rumored to have taken down a being of Chaos itself. The fact that it could do that (and the fact that I always felt like a badass whenever I used it), made it a shoe-in for a base weapon.

The newest base was also, erm, somewhat unusual.. See, I figured that since I had a base for supernatural purposes, and a weapon that could be used against all enemies, I needed a weapon that could be used against technology; something that could take out all sorts of robots, and be like a sort of “Arsenal of one”…so, I chose to add the Mega Buster as a weapon. It could not only shoot out searing plasma bolts, but it also had a plethora of other weapons added to it as well. The downside? The ammo took a while to ‘reload.’ That is, if I wasted all of its ammo without giving it a cool down, I had to wait 24 hours before I could use that certain weapon.

I sighed and thought to myself, “Wow. Out of all the legendary weapons I’ve seen, the only three I’ve added are video game related…Even as The Traveler, I’m still a huge nerd.”

Re-wrapping the sword, I carefully placed it back into the closet and felt a moment of grim apprehension shoot through me. If my sword had shown up now, then that meant that there was gonna be some fighting in the near future. If there was gonna be fighting in the future, I might have to show the ponies my darker side, the part of me that found a dark delight in the insanity of battle, the part of me that wanted to go into a berserker rage and tear my enemies limb from limb…Oh Gods and Goddesses…if they saw that…

I slammed the closet door and galloped out of the house.

I’d cross that bridge when I got to it.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me until I stopped in the center of town, out of breath. I looked around and saw Twilight and Spike running away at ludicrous speed from a mob of ponies that were offering…favors? What the hell?

“Hey Twilight, what’s goin-” I stopped and strained my ears. “Is that Benny Hill music?”

“No time to explain, RUN!” Twilight shouted.

“Oh sweet, a chase scene! I can’t remember the last time I was in one of these!” I shouted, running with them. “Let me guess. Pinkie Pie?”

“Pinkie Pie,” Spike confirmed, gasping for breath. “Help?”

Thinking quickly, I spied an abandoned baby carriage and shoved Spike into it. Grabbing a blanket that was inside of the carriage, I tossed it over Twilight and said, “Quick, act like an old mare!”

“How will this do-” Twilight protested, but I quickly shushed her, and she started trotting slowly, pushing the carriage.

The mob of ponies ran past and I grinned.

“Told ya,” I said smugly.

Twilight lowered the makeshift hood and smiled. Unfortunately, one of the ponies, with a pair of carrots for her cutie-mark, turned and yelled, “There she is!”

“Gah!” All three of us screamed as we turned tail and fled.

Holy shit, I was in a cartoonish chase scene! And I could hear Benny Hill music! BEST. DAY. EVER! I jumped into the water underneath a bridge, while Twilight and Spike clung to the underside of it. The mob of ponies ran over the bridge, and they probably wouldn’t have noticed us if Spike hadn’t slipped and crashed into the water.

All three of us started running again, this time into a costume shop, where we took the place of some design mannequins (Pony-quins?). Twilight took the place of a clown, Spike took the place of a hula dancer, and I became Santa Claus.

We stood still, as the mob ran by, never noticing us. As soon as they had all passed, we quickly tossed off the costumes (Okay, I kept the beard part of the outfit) and fled into a system of alleyways, trying to lose the horde in the twists and turns. I swear that we had a Scooby Doo moment in those allies, where we’d run out of one alley, then come out from a completely different one, then I was riding on a unicycle, Spike moonwalked, and the mob kept getting separated at random points.

On one of the passes, I ran through carrying Ditzy Doo. I glanced at her, and said, “Hey Ditz.”

“Hi Omnius.”

“You want her ticket?”

“Yep.”

“Good luck with that.” It was a simple statement, quick and to the point.

“Thanks. Do you want her ticket?”

“Nah, if I want to go to the Gala, I’ll gatecrash. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to do that, although it would be the first time I wouldn’t be doing it for MI6.”

“Who is-”

“Long story short, spies. Don’t ask.”

With that, I ran into the alley and ran back out, being chased by Lyra and Bon-Bon, who had appropriated Applejack’s apple cart and were using it to move faster than before.

After a few more minutes of chaotic running, Twilight, Spike, and I ran into a dead end.

“Oh no! Is this the end of Rico!?” I cried out dramatically over the voices of the ticket obsessed mob.

“I thought your name was Omnius?” Spike asked, trembling like me and Twilight were.

“It is, but I’ve always wanted to say that. I didn’t think I’d say it while being surrounded by crazed ponies though,” I admitted.

We all huddled together, bracing ourselves for the sudden rush of ponies, when Twilight’s horn started to glow with the intensity of a police searchlight.

With a sudden blinding flash, I felt myself get singed a little while all three of us somehow teleported away from the mob.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

When the light dimmed, we found ourselves safely inside of the library in one piece. Although in mine and Spike’s cases, we were a little crispy.

“Warn me next time you're gonna do that,” Spike said, swaying a little, while his eyes rolled.

“Who ordered the Country Fried Traveler?” I said, coughing out another little smoke cloud. I shook off the ashes and asked Twilight, “How long have you been able to do that?”

“I didn’t even know I COULD do that!” Twilight said, glancing at her horn. “Now quick, LOCK THE DOORS!” She bellowed. “Omnius, watch the windows, and make sure no one knows we’re here!”

“On it!” I dashed to the front door after Spike locked it and stealthily peeked out the window. No one outside…I kept staring, knowing that it couldn’t be this easy. Honestly, just when you think it’s safe, something happens to shatter that thought. Case in point, Jurassic Park. Those freaking raptors…ugh.

“We’re clear Twilight,” I finally said once Spike and Twilight finished locking all of the doors and turning off all of the lights. They let out a sigh of relief at that, and I added, “There’s nopony outside, we should be completely safe and-”

CLICK.

The lights suddenly came back on and revealed five innocently smiling ponies.

I gulped and said in my best Australian accent, “…Clever girls.”

At this point, Twilight finally snapped and she let out an exasperated scream. “I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!”

She covered her head and lay on the ground, trembling with the stress that had been eating at her all day. I felt a brief flash of anger at the sight of that. I finally put my hoof down and added my two bits.

“What in the name of all that is good is wrong with you ponies?” I asked, anger leaking into my voice. The five ponies already looked guilty as hell, but I wanted them to realize just what they had done. I pointed at Twilight, and said, “You all are supposed to be her CLOSEST friends, and you’re forcing her to choose which one of you she likes the best! Not only that, but you’ve been letting your obsession with the tickets make you act like jerks!”

“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash said accusingly. “Well you’ve been trying to get her extra ticket all day! I mean, you’ve been following her all day!” Some of the other ponies nodded when she said that, and that irked me even more.

“Did it occur to you that I didn’t WANT the ticket? That maybe I was trying to spend a day with a friend?” I shot back, barely keeping control of my anger. “Actually, I was gonna get her some lunch and then I was gonna ask her for some help with my house!”

She looked stunned when I said that. In fact, all of the ponies looked even guiltier, and before anyone could say anything, I turned and stormed out of the house, calling out to Twilight, “Sorry Twi, but I can’t stand another minute with them! See ya later.”

I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. My vision blurred and I started running through town. Night had fallen, and the streets were dark, barely anypony in sight.

As I made my way to my house, I took some time to brood over my thoughts. Was I right to snap at them like that? Sure, they had been a little overenthusiastic, and they hadn’t been being very nice to me about it, but I probably shouldn’t have snapped at them like that. The more that I thought about it, the more I felt like I had done something horrible. By the time I was back at my house, I was completely overcome with worry. Did I accidentally just lose my friends as fast as I had made them?

I opened the door to my house and flicked on a couple of lights…

…and saw a concrete colored Pegasus with a smooth black mane standing in my living room. His eyes were black dots, and his ribs were prominent against his sides. The feathers on his outstretched wings were surprisingly smooth, glossy, and flecked with red. His cutie-mark was…I can’t even remember. It seems like every time I looked at it, it would change shape, becoming another symbol of evil. One moment it was a Nazi Swastika, and the next it would be a pentagram.

“Omnius, you haven’t been letting your temper get the better of you again, have you?” The Pegasus said in a suave, dark voice, a slight teasing tone in it.

“Torrentican,” I snarled, wishing I had had the sense to equip my sword.

“Guilty as charged,” He replied, doing a mock bow.

“What do you want?”

He looked offended and he said in a hurt tone, “Why Sean, you don’t think that I can’t simply drop by and inquire as to your health?”

I pawed at the ground, and said, “No. Now get the hell out of my house.”

“Alright, alright. But before I go, I wanted to introduce you to a friend that I made a few days ago,” He said, moving to the side and folding his wings.

I snorted and said, “Torrentican, you don’t have any friends. Only things that are powerful enough to get your attention.”    

“True enough. But I digress. Omnius, meet Slendermane. Slendermane, Omnius.”

My eyes widened as I beheld an incredibly tall, rail thin pony with tendrils of darkness flowing about him. He was clad in a suit that was a shade of black all its own, and it was adorned with a blood red tie. His skin was a shade of white that reminded me horribly of a bleached skeleton, and he was missing a face.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to get acquainted with each other,” Torrentican said, walking into the shadows and disappearing suddenly. I hated it when he did that.

I stared at Slendermane, paralyzed by fear. Holy shit, it was one of my worst internet related fears, second only to Tails Doll, in pony form. Beads of sweat started to form and I gulped audibly.

The pale pony took a tentative step forward, his head never turning away from me. He didn’t have eyes, yet I could still feel his unending gaze. The tendrils of darkness slowly snaked across the floor, closing the distance between me and the monster. He took another step forward, and the tendrils wrapped themselves around my hooves, giving me no chance to escape.  As he steadily came closer and closer, an idea born of desperation came into my head.

I frantically searched my tail, which I had used as an improvised pocket, and pulled out a worn leather pouch. I opened it and counted the bits inside, hoping that I had…YES!

“Hey, Slendermane!” I yelled, tossing it the pouch. The being picked up the pouch in a hoof and tilted its head in the multi-universal, ‘What the hell?’ expression.

“There’s twenty bits in there! Now leave me alone!” I shouted, hoping that I could confuse it by bringing in an aspect of one of its alter reality selves. If what Torrentican had hinted at was true, then this Slendermane could be considered a God of Evil. And since Gods and Goddesses can sense their alternate reality selves when they’re around me…

Slendermane tucked the pouch inside of his suit, and disappeared.

I sank to the floor in relief, laughing nervously. Ye Gods and Goddesses of Good, but that was…close, to say the least. I hadn’t ever had to fight Slenderman (or Slendermane for that matter), and I didn’t want to do that anytime soon. I didn’t expect the twenty bits thing to work for long though, and I realized that I needed to get Twilight to start up those pillars A.S.A.P!

I don’t know how long I sat there laughing, but eventually I heard a small voice say, “Omnius? Are you alright?”

I turned and saw Fluttershy standing in the doorway, a worried look on her face. A pang of guilt shot through me, as I remembered why I had left Twilight’s in the first place. I got up and threw my arms around Fluttershy in a tight embrace. She gave a little ‘Eep’ (D’awwww), but returned the hug, albeit in a careful manner.

“Fluttershy, I’m so sorry for how I yelled at you girls. I might have been mad, but that didn’t give me any excuse to snap at you all,” I said quickly, overriding anything that she was about to say. I looked up from my current hugging position and saw the other ponies that were standing a little ways away.

I let go of Fluttershy and walked to the others. I apologized to them as well and added, “Do you think you can forgive me?”

“Omnius, you should really learn to relax!” Rarity said, smiling. “Besides, we actually were going to apologize to you! We felt horrible for treating you like we did, simply because we wanted a ticket as well.”

“Yeah, I shoulda just given you some food. I know how strapped for cash you are,” Applejack said, kicking a pebble.

“And I should have thrown you an awesome party like I did for Twilight!” Pinkie added, bouncing up to me.

“Wait, I missed out on a Pinkie Party? No, wait, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re all friends, right?”

“Right!” Everypony said. I chuckled and then said, “Hey, Twilight, about that favor?”

“Oh, right. What did you need me to do?” She asked, glancing at the pillars that were still standing.

“I just need you to zap one of ‘em with a bit of magic,” I said, pointing at the closest one. “That one will do.”

Twilight nodded and trotted over to the pillar. She scrunched her eyes and asked, “So what do these do?”

“Oh, I guess I never did say, huh?” I pointed at the runes and explained the concept. “Basically, these pillars will not only give me an unrivaled home security system, but it’ll also create some…extra space in the basement.”

“That’s it?” Rainbow Dash said, flying around the top of a pillar. “That’s kind of lame.”

I grinned and said, “Twilight, let ‘er rip.”

Twilight’s horn glowed and a beam of energy shot out of it, hitting the pillar dead center. The runes started glowing, each one flashing a different color, before a beam shot from the top of the pillar and connected all four of the pillars together. The ground started shaking violently, and the pillars sank into the ground, leaving no trace of their existence, save for some small patches of dirt.

I put a hoof to my ear and said, “Hear that? That is the sound of success.”

I walked to the door, bowed, and said, “Howzabout I gives you the two bit tour?”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After I showed them the house, I stopped in front of a door that hadn’t been there before. It was made entirely out of iron, and it had a picture of my insignia carved into it.

“What’s in there?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking for a doorknob. She was out of luck though, since there wasn’t even a doorknob on it. In fact, aside from the insignia, it was completely smooth, and it didn’t even have any hinges to attach it to the wall.

“If I’m right, that’s the door to my basement,” I said, already heading outside.

“Ooooooh, what’s in your basement?” Pinkie asked, now looking at the door as well.

“My Vault,” I simply said, my tone telling them to stop asking questions.

“What’s in the Vault?” Twilight asked curiously.

“Nothing,” I answered automatically.

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Well then, I guess you wouldn’t mind if we took a look then!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, pulling a crowbar from out of nowhere, and prying it into the door.

“That’s not gonna work,” I said, smirking. “Honestly, that’s a high tech Custom Built job, impervious to any kind of lock-pick, welding torch, and every kind of burglary tool invent-”

“Got it!” Pinkie sang, as the door whooshed open.

My jaw dropped, as I stared at the door. “How did you do that?”

“I used a crowbar!” She replied, as if it were obvious.

I wiped the stunned look off my face and shot her a glare. “Okay, but I’m serious! DON’T. GO. IN THERE!” I said, emphasizing the last words. “I promise I’ll show you tomorrow, but right now you can’t go in there.”

“Can you at least tell us what’s in there?” Applejack asked, fixing her hat.

I thought for a moment and tried to choose my words carefully. After a few minutes of silence, I finally said, “Memories and a place where I can learn to control myself.”

Fluttershy tilted her head and asked, “What do you mean?”

A memory of a raging beast flashed through my head and I grimaced. I started trembling in fear of the memory, as I remembered the wreckage that the beast had caused and how terrified its enemies had been. Homes had been lost, innocents hurt, and monsters had roamed that day, and…it was all my fault. I felt someone’s foreleg wrap around my neck, heard a voice say something, something that calmed me down.

“It’s okay Omnius. We’re here for you,” Fluttershy said gently, bringing me back from the memories.

I took a deep breath and said, “Thank you.”

She nodded and we all walked outside, the basement door shutting automatically.

“Now come on!” Pinkie said, hopping to the road. “We still gotta get some cupcakes!”

My stomach growled and I cried out, “Lead the way Pinkster!”

    XHXHXHXHXHXHX

As we sat around a table at Sugarcube Corner, Twilight said something that made me feel like an even bigger idiot than usual.

“Omnius, you can change your form to match whatever world you’re on, right?”

I thought about it for a second and then nodded. I hadn’t told them about Torrentican or Slendermane yet, mostly because I didn’t want to worry them.

“Well, have you tried to turn into a unicorn, or a Pegasus yet?”

My jaw dropped again, and I said wittily, “What?”

“Well, it’s just that there are as many Earth ponies as there are Unicorns and Pegasi. So if you just change form to blend in with the population…” She trailed off, letting me put two and two together.

“Then I can turn into those too!” I realized. I then shoveled another cupcake into my mouth and started nomming it.

“Well shoot, why didn’t I think of that earlier?” Applejack said, slapping a hoof onto the table.

I shrugged and kept eating my food silently, thinking of all the possibilities.

Pinkie then said, “Oooh, if you can turn into those, then that means that you can do anything a pony can do! You can fly, use magic, and you could do all sorts of super-duper party tricks too!”

“But why was Torrentican a Pegasus then? I’d picture him as more of a Unicorn…” I mumbled under my breath, my appetite disappearing.

“What was that dear?” Rarity asked.

“Nothing, nothing. Think I should try turning into a Unicorn?” I asked, changing the topic at ludicrous speed.

“Sure! Mr. and Mrs. Cake are already asleep, so you should be fine.” Pinkie said, an actual serious look on her face.

Focusing, I quickly shifted back into human form. Before I could change my mind, I brought up the focus necessary to change forms, only this time I focused on picturing myself as a Unicorn. It wasn’t really that hard, all I had to do was imagine a unicorn’s horn on my head and voila.

I felt the transformation process end, and I opened my eyes. At the sight of the ponies’ shocked faces, I asked, “Did it work?”

“I’d say it did,” Applejack said, clearing her throat.

I looked into the reflective surface of one of the display cases and saw a horn that was set above my glasses, colored the same shade as my coat. Aside from looking unnaturally pointy, it seemed like any other average unicorn horn.

“Can you use any magic?” Twilight asked, after I gingerly touched the point of my horn. “All unicorns can use basic levitation techniques, but do you think that you can?”

“Let’s find out.”

Looking at one of the empty plates, I concentrated on it, and attempted to lift it into the air. I squeezed my eyes shut, and called up my old lessons I’d been taught about magic. I cleared my mind, focused on what I wanted, and did my best to believe that it would work. For a long moment, nothing happened.

“I guess that I don’t know how to use magic in this form,” I said wistfully, looking at the plate. I sighed, and broke my current line of thought…

…And with a muffled THUMP sound, Sugarcube Corner fell back onto the ground. The plates rattled, I did my best Fluttershy impression and said, “Eep!”

“I think it’s safe to say that you can use magic,” Twilight said, her voice cracking a little.

“You just need to work on your aim,” Applejack added.

“…Twilight, any chance I could get some magic lessons?” I asked, gulping.

“I think that would be a good idea.”

Next Chapter: The Vault and Cupcakes Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 13 Minutes