Chapter 12:

Pinkie Senses…TINGLING!

(Takes place during ‘Feeling Pinkie Keen’)

With a groan of effort, I turned the final crank on the wheel of my ‘project’ that I had been tinkering with for the past few weeks. The ropes that were attached to it tightened, and it took all of my strength to give it that last push. Once I heard the ‘click’ that signified it locking into position, I stumbled backwards, and looked at the final results.

“Took me a little bit,” I said to myself. “But hey, I finally finished it.” I took off my sweat-soaked bandana, and stuffed it into my pocket, and then pulled a small, beat-up looking pocket notebook from my shirt pocket. Clicking the top of my pen, I started to frantically write in it, recording that I had finished my recreation, and was planning on testing it as soon as possible, to see if I had gotten it right.

I closed the book as soon as I had finished writing in it, and stuffed it back into my shirt. Looking at my project, I nodded, and said, “Yep. This calls for a fine glass…of champagne…” Only I pronounced it, sham-panya, just because I could.

I popped open a bottle of Code Red, and guzzled it, letting the cold drink cool my slightly tired body. It had taken a lot of effort to push the huge contraption outside of my basement, and even more to make sure that everything on it was still in place and prepared for its maiden voyage.

“I still can’t believe…I finally built a freaking CATAPULT!” I yelled, tossing the bottle inside of a trash can.

Indeed, the catapult was one of the biggest things I had built, and I had made sure that I used only medieval materials in its construction (but used modernized tools). Currently, the arm of the catapult was pulled back, ready to launch anything that would be placed into it, and fling it across a vast distance…and of course, the first thing it was going to launch, was moi.

“Why do I always have to test out these things?” I asked myself jokingly. “Is it because I can’t die? Or is it because I’m too dumb to hire a test dummy? No, wait, it’s because I’m an idiot.”

I shrugged, and shifted into Pegasus form. From what I’ve seen of Rainbow Dash’s practice sessions, it was gonna be my best bet for making it through this little test without any serious injury. Pegasi might seem fragile, but they can take a surprising amount of falling damage. Maybe they maxed out their agility or something, I don’t know.

I climbed into the firing mechanism, and clenched a throwing dagger in my mouth, being careful not to slice open my tongue on it. Once I was settled comfortably, I picked up the dagger in my hoof, and aimed it at the rope I had tied off to the side. The rope was stretched tightly, and it would take only the slightest bit of slicing to release that tension, and thus propel me through the air.

Before I tossed the dagger, I musingly thought to myself, “You know, I’ve heard that some people have normal hobbies, like gardening or painting, but me? I like to build random contraptions, write, and play a harmonica, just to list a few…maybe I’ll ask Zecora if she has any azalea seeds after this.”

I shrugged, and tossed the dagger through the air, where it hit the edge of the rope…with the hilt. “Dammit,” I cursed good-naturedly. I picked up a spare knife that I had brought just for such an occasion, and tossed it, where it just missed the rope entirely.

“Dammit.”

I flew out, awkwardly turning from side to side in the air (I was still trying to master the art of flying in pony form), and landed next to the fallen knife. Picking it up, I flew back over to the cup shaped part of the catapult (I forget what those are called), and aimed at the rope again. “Third time’s the charm,” I muttered, before I sent the dagger flying through the air.

SLICE! I looked over in a random direction, and said, “Remember kids, don’t try this at home. I’m what you call, a certifiable loony.”

No longer restrained by the rope, the arm of the catapult snapped forward, and I was sent flying through the air.

“LOOK’S LIKE TEAM TRAVELER IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!” I shouted, as I flew through the air, my eyes watering violently.

I looked down, and saw that Ponyville had turned into an unidentifiable, color filled blur, as I swooped over it. Adrenaline coursed through me, and my heart beat like a jackhammer. The wind rushed through my mane, and there was every possibility that I was going to crash into something that would probably break a few important bones in my body.

Rollercoaster’s can suck it.

I sailed through the air, catching the wind in my wings, and then realized: The library was getting uncomfortably closer. So I guess that I’m just gonna have to do what I always do in a situation like this:

“I REGRET NOTHING!” I yelled, bracing myself for impact. Just as I was about to crash, a giant pillow was tossed in front of me, and I crashed into it, instead of the wall I was headed for. I made an “OOF!” sound, and then fell onto the ground, as stars flew around me.

Okay, again with the stars! Screw it, this time I’m grabbing one! I reached out with a hoof, snatched one of the stars, and shoved into my pocket. Wait a second, did I just grab a star? Moreover, a star that had just been flying around my head a few seconds ago? Instead of questioning this, for now, I choose to never mention to Rainbow Dash that I may have found a way for her to go faster. She’d be all over that faster than lightning bolt on an unsuspecting Traveler.

I picked myself up, and saw that Twilight and Pinkie Pie were both standing over me, Twilight with a look of disbelief on her face, and Pinkie Pie with a large smile on hers.

“Um, sorry to drop in?” I said meekly, looking at both of them. “Thanks for the pillow Twi.”

“That wasn’t me, that was Pinkie Pie,” She said almost angrily.

“Really? Well thanks Pinkie. How’d you know I was gonna crash?” I asked, flapping my wings a few times.

“My tail twitched! That means that something is gonna fall!” She answered cheerfully, her smile getting even bigger.

“Really?” I said, looking at her. “That’s pretty cool. So you have, like a Pinkie sense thing?”

“Mm-hmm,” Pinkie said, nodding happily.

“Oh, please tell me that you don’t believe this too, Omnius!” Twilight groaned in exasperation, looking at me desperately.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I said, confused. “I mean, I’m the Eternal Traveler of Good, I’ve met Good guys, Bad guys, and ugly guys, I’ve been in a lightsaber duel with freaking YODA, and I learned magic from Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden!”

“Who?”

“Chicago’s only professional Wizard,” I said simply. At the still confused looks on their faces, I added, “City on another world. It’s another story for another day.”

Twilight just shook her head, and Pinkie giggled. “Okay, but you’re going to have to tell us about it soon!”

“I’ll try,” I promised. I started scratching my beard, and added, “Anyways, why do you find it so hard to believe, Twilight?”

“For one thing, it’s unexplainable!”

“So are half the things I do,” I countered.

“No, they actually have a logical explanation hidden behind them!” Twilight shouted, as all three of us walked into the library. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go set up my equipment!” She added, storming off into her basement.

“Equipment?” I asked carefully. “What are you up to Sparkle?”

“Twilight doesn’t understand my Pinkie Sense,” Pinkie said, shrugging. “So she asked me if she could run some tests on me.”

“Really?” I said, slightly worried. I’d been the victim of Twilight’s experiments once before, and it didn’t work out too well. Look, it’s a long story, and I don’t feel like going into it right now.

“Yep! But I’m sure it won’t be like what happened with you and that static cling remo-”

“We agreed to never mention that again,” I interrupted in a deadpan tone.

Pinkie giggled, and said, “Oopsie! Sorry, Omni. I forgot!”

I sighed, and said, “Oh, it’s fine. Anyways, so what’s with your Pinkie Sense? Can you just tell when things are gonna fall?”

After I said that, Pinkie went on one of her by now famous rambles, only this time, I paid attention to what she was saying. From what I can gather, whenever a certain part of her body twitches, or whenever it twitches in a certain sequence (i.e, eye flutter, floppy ears, itchy knee), then she can use those to sense what is about to happen.

Or, to dumb it down: Whenever she twitches, shit’s about to happen.

As soon as she stopped talking, I nodded in understanding. “Different twitches mean different things. Okay, so what is it when stuff is about to fall?”

“Twitchy tail!” She said, waving her tail in front of my face for emphasis.

I resisted the urge to sneeze, and repeated, “Twitchy tail means falling...Okay, that’s pretty cool!” I started laughing, and added, “It must be really weird when you see a meteor shower though.”

“Why would it be weird?” She said, tilting her head.

“Well since it’s basically just a bunch of rocks falling from the sky, wouldn’t that make your tail twitch like crazy?” I pointed out.

“Nope, that hasn’t ever happened!”

“Really? Weird. But again, I gotta say that that is pretty cool.”

At this time, Twilight burst out of her door, and said, “Aha! It’s ready for you now! Omnius, would you like to see this mystery explained once and for all?”

Urge to snark, rising! Firmly suppressing my smart-ass instincts, I instead politely said, “If it is no trouble to you…”

“Good!” With that, Twilight turned, and walked back down, with me and Pinkie in tow.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Okay, before we go on, I just want to rant for a second. Don’t worry, it won’t be too long, it’s just something that I wanted to point out.

Alright, a couple of things: First, they don’t have T.V. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s still something I felt like pointing out. Next, they don’t have any type of automobile. Now, keep all this in mind when I add in the fact that I haven’t seen very many instances of high technology. Sure, I’ve seen some bitchin’ stereos (which I proceeded to buy) and some pretty stellar pieces of photographic equipment.

So, with all of that still fresh in your head, let me ask you something: Why, in the name of all that is Good, does Twilight’s lab look like something out of a Star Trek movie?! No, really! She still had a small bookshelf off to the side that was crammed with all sorts of scientific textbooks, but there were also counters that were loaded with strange looking potions and mixtures, and a set of high-tech scanners/analyzer thingies that were set against a wall. Dude, she even had one of those weird pillars with steel rings around it!

WHY?

Rant over. Sorry to bug you with that, I just wanted to get it out of my system. It doesn’t matter anyways, but still. Someone had to rant about it at some point. Now, on with the actual story, hm?

I stood off to the side, and watched as Twilight put a weird helmet onto Pinkie’s head, and then connected a few wires onto it. To be honest, it looked like someone had just gotten one of them cooking pots with all the holes in it (again, I need to figure out what those are called) and super glued a bunch of Christmas lights onto it.

My attention span suddenly winked out of existence, and I decided to look around. I spied a set of levers off to the side, and let out a low whistle. Twilight looked at me, and I asked, “Hey, Twi, what does this lever do?”

She grinned, and said, “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

I shrugged, and put my hoof on the lever closest to me. Suddenly smiling, I said in a loud dramatic voice, “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

With a quick tug, the lever came down, and a small trapdoor opened underneath me. I quickly unfurled my wings, and flew over to the side, avoiding the pitfall...WRONG. LEVER. I looked at Twilight, who was currently engrossed in the roll of paper that was flying out of a console, and said indignantly, “Hey, what’s the big idea?”

Twilight ignored me, and let out an exasperated sound. “Pinkie, did you feel any twitches when that happened?”

“Nope-erooski!” She replied in her always cheerful manner.

“But why? Your tail should have twitched since he fell!” Twilight said triumphantly. “That means that your Pinkie Sense is-“

“Still possible of happening,” I interrupted, a little miffed at being ignored, “because I technically didn’t fall.”

Twilight blushed, as she realized her mistake, and she giggled nervously. “Oh. Um, sorry.”

I grumbled a little, but said, “S’ alright I suppose. Just please warn me next time you’re gonna do something like that.”

All three of us were silent then, as we waited for something to appear on the charts. It almost felt like you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Twilight fidgeted a little, and then asked, “Any twitches yet?”

“Nope-Dopey!”

The impatient unicorn walked over to the bin that was being steadily filled with paper, and said, “Now? Anything?”

Pinkie got a look of concentration on her face, and she said, “Wait, hold on!” I leaned closer to her, and after a few seconds, the pink pony said, “Uh, no.”

“Are you kidding me?” Twilight said disbelievingly. “After a whole day of non-stop twitching, now that I’ve got you all hooked up, you’re not getting a single one?”

“I love irony,” I chuckled quietly. Twilight glared daggers at me, and I added, “I mean…No, wait, I still mean irony!” I smiled at her, and I think there was a vein throbbing dangerously on her head.

“If you’re not going to take this seriously, then would you please leave?” Twilight asked, pointedly opening the door with her magic.

Hm…Well, I do need to go and make sure that I keep getting bits, so I think that I’ll take that offer. “Sorry Twi,” I apologized. “I guess it’s just that I don’t think that science is gonna be able to explain this. See ya Pinkie, Twilight.”

I walked back up the stairs, and stepped back into the library. As soon as I shut the door, I looked at Spike, and let out a mad grin. He stepped back, looking at me worriedly, and I said, “They called me mad! I’ll show them mad! I’LL SHOW THEM ALL!”cackling madly all the while, rubbing my front hooves together.

Spike rolled his eyes, and said, “Nice one. Is Twilight down there? I need to ask her something.”

“Yeah, she’s conducting experiments on Pinkie Pie.”

“Doesn’t she remember what happened with y-”

“Ack!” I interrupted, my eyes widening as I shook my head furiously at the small dragon. “That must never be spoken of again!”

He clamped his mouth shut, but giggled. “You have to admit, you have some of the worst luck with lightning.”

Sighing, I rubbed my forehead, where I had been struck by lightning when I got here. “You have no idea…” I chuckled, and walked outside, unfurling my wings. “Spike, if anypony needs me, I’ll be back at my place in about…say, five hours?”

“Alright,” Spike said, putting his hand on the doorknob of the basement door.

I took off, catching the wind in my wings, and clumsily made my way across town, trying not to fall flat on my face (again). Just as I was leaving, I heard a door slam open, and an aggravated moan from a certain unicorn…

Irony strikes again!

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I looked around carefully, glancing at a small slip of paper every now and then as I flew. Spotting Derpy, I hovered over to her, and smiled. “Hiya Derpy!” I said cheerfully.

She put a set of letters into a mailbox, and turned to smile back at me. “Hey Omnius! What’re you doing?”

“Trying not to get lost,” I admitted. “Do you know where I can find this address?” I held out the note, and she glanced at it with one of her eyes.  

She nodded, and said, “Oh yeah, I know where! You’re in luck; she’s my next stop on my rounds! I can take you there when I drop off my letters!”

Phew, that saves me a lot of trouble. “Thanks, Derpy.” I flew by her side, and she giggled at my poor flying skills. “Yeah, I’m still trying to get the hang of flying.”

“It’s not too bad,” Derpy lied, trying to make me feel better. “It must have been hard for you to learn to walk in the first place.”

“You have no idea,” I laughed. “I could barely take two steps without falling down. On the bright side, I got to know the ground pretty well.”

We both shared a laugh at that, and Derpy frowned suddenly. “How long DID it take you to learn how to walk?”

I thought about it for a moment, and answered, “Um, I’m gonna guess at least six or seven hours, give or take.”

“What? Then why is it taking you so long to learn how to fly?!” She asked, surprised.

“I dunno. It might have something to do with the fact that if I didn’t learn to walk, or even run, I wouldn’t have been able to help out Apple Bloom,” I shrugged.

We landed in front of a surprisingly simple house, white with a blue tiled roof, and I looked at Derpy. “You sure this is the place?” I asked, concerned.

“Of course! Just don’t go spreading the word that I told you,” She whispered, looking around as if somepony was listening in on our conversation. She hoofed me a small stack of letters, and said, “Since you’re going in there, you may as well take her mail for me!”

“Fair enough. Thanks Derpy!” I said, knocking on the door. She flew off, and waved at me, already disappearing in the sky. A mailpony’s job is never done I guess.

After a couple of minutes, the door cracked open just a hair, revealing a startlingly scarlet colored eye. “Who is it?” A voice asked.

“Pizza delivery,” I deadpanned.

There was the sound of a chain being undone, and the door opened slightly wider, revealing a white unicorn pony with electric blue, frazzled hair. She smiled at me, and said, “There better be extra cheese on this pizza!”

She motioned for me to come in, and I followed her into her living room, which was almost buried in random bits of debris and trash. She cleared off some wires and instruction manuals from her couch, and we sat down.

“Glad to see you could find my house,” Vinyl said, still grinning her always slightly insane looking grin. It must be something to do with how her eyes and mane look, but come on! Don’t tell me I’m the only one who thinks that her smile makes her look a bit mad at times!

“I had to get a little help from the local mail-mare,” I replied, pulling out a small record from my vest pocket. It glowed slightly, as Vinyl lifted it out of my hoof, and looked expectantly at it. As she did that, I tossed her mail onto the coffee table in front of the couch where she would see it later.

“Is this the newest piece of music from ‘Treble Cliff’?” She said teasingly. Without even waiting for me to say anything, she popped open a sophisticated looking bit of machinery that was probably supposed to be a stereo system, and slid the record in.

“I still can’t believe that nopony has figured out my little secret,” I laughed, settling in to see how Vinyl would react to the latest batch of music I had “borrowed” from another world.

Vinyl Scratch, AKA “DJ PON -3”, was probably the best DJ in all of Equestria, at least from what I’d heard, and after meeting her at Rarity’s disastrous fashion show (granted, it was mostly our faults, but still), we had become pretty good friends. I liked the fact that even though she was a big-time celebrity, she still acted like an everyday, partially crazy and eccentric, unicorn with a good taste in music. And to top it off, she had accidentally heard me listening to music that hadn’t existed in Equestria yet (Namely “Good Egg Galaxy” from Super Mario Galaxy), and had asked me where I had gotten it. Naturally, I had to tell her I wrote it myself.

Long story short, she somehow snagged a copy, and with her links in the music business, got some big shot orchestra to play it, and now I was considered one of Equestria’s best orchestrated music writers, known anonymously as, “Treble Cliff”. Oh, and I was packing away a fair amount of bits now, but that’s beside the point.

“What do you th-” I started, before getting cut off by a “SHUSH!” from Vinyl. I grumbled quietly, and let her listen to the music in silence, fidgeting as I hoped it met her “cool” standards.

As soon as the music went silent, she let out one of her trademark crazy-smiles. “What do you call that one?” She asked.

“Um...” I frantically tried to come up with a name, and slowly said, “I call it…The Court of the Clouds!”

“I thought it might have something to do with that!” She said, giving me a one-legged hug. “How’d you come up with it?”

“One of my friends was telling me about her hometown, Cloudsdale, and I just thought that was so cool…An entire city in the sky,” I said, sighing. “So I threw this together, and voila! We have musics!”

“I like it! It’s different from most of the other boring classy music,” Vinyl said, nodding her head. “Any others?”

“Yeah, this entire disc is filled with music dedicated to the Pegasi, and the sky.” I said, handing her a list. “I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds, so I just put what I knew about them into here.”

She pressed the play button on her stereo, and bobbed her head to the next track. My stomach grumbled, and I said, “I’m getting hungry. Mind if I make us some lunch?”

“Go for it! There’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese in the cupboard,” she replied absently, still listening to the music.

I walked into the kitchen, and cleaned up as much of the mess as I could. I knew that Vinyl owned two homes, this one and the one in Canterlot, but did she have to leave them in such a mess? Granted, I do that too sometimes, but at least I can see the carpet! I set a pot filled with water on her stove, and started boiling it, mixing in the insta-mac (as I lovingly call it) into the water, whistling as I did so.

After a few minutes, I dished out the food, and walked back into the living room, where Vinyl was now hanging upside down on her couch.

“What’s up? Or is it down?” I asked, setting the bowl in front of her. She levitated a spoon into the bowl, and fed herself without bothering to change her position.

“This is how I listen to music!” She said with her mouth full of food. “How do you listen to it?”

“However the hay I want.”

“Good answer!”

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I spent a few more hours at her house, and then left, carrying a pouch filled with my weekly earnings from the music. Promising to come back next time with some music dedicated to unicorns (Harry Potter soundtrack, and Secret of Mana, I’m looking at you!), I started my way back to my place, flying back at a very slow speed.

Just as I was about to land in town, I caught sight of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Spike, who were all running towards the woods. I glided towards them, and managed to hover right in front of Pinkie Pie.

“What’s up?” I asked, frowning as I noticed the looks of worry on their faces.

Twilight rolled her eyes, as Pinkie said, “It’s my Pinkie sense! I just had a real doozey, and it’s telling me that something is about to happen in Froggy Bottom Bog!”

“So?”

Applejack answered this time, saying, “Fluttershy’s there!”

“Oh, well when you put it like that!” I ran alongside the mares, and added, “Come on! We need to hurry!”

“Do you still believe in this?” Twilight asked me, laughing slightly.

“You know what, Twilight?” I said, turning to look at her. “I do. Now even if I didn’t believe it, I’d still want to check on Fluttershy! The bog is way too close to the Everfree for my tastes, and I don’t like the thought of Fluttershy alone in there!”

“Ya know she lives right next to the forest, right?” Applejack asked, giving me an exasperated look.

“Yeah, but that’s different! She has Angel Bunny at home!”

“What does that-”

“I may, or may not, have taught him how to use a shovel as a weapon!”

“WHAT?!” All three of the mares yelled, while Spike just looked at me like I was insane.

“No, not really!” I quickly said. “But it’s Fluttershy! If anything did get too close to her house, her animals would let her know, and probably protect her.”

They all let sighed in relief, and even though the situation was potentially bad, I had to stifle a chuckle. Come on, would Angel Bunny really go all psycho-rabbit on them if I taught him how to use a shovel? Wait a second, that’s not too bad of an idea! Maybe I could-

As if a sign from the Gods, a branch that Spike had pushed out of his way snapped back at me, and slapped me in the face.

“Okay, point taken,” I said out loud, earning a few looks from the ponies and Spike. “Don’t ask.”

XHXHXHXHXHX

All five of us made our way through the slowly thickening forest, eventually slowing to a jog as we went. I strained my ears and eyes for any sign that something had happened to Fluttershy. If it’s not painfully obvious by now, I can sometimes get a little bit overprotective about my friends. The fact that I actually believed in Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense didn’t ease my worried mind.

“So what kind of twitch did you have?” I asked in an attempt to get my mind off Fluttershy.

Pinkie opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, her entire body started to shake violently. “That kind!” She answered as soon as she stopped shaking.

We all stopped, watching her, and Twilight sardonically said, “Cold? Need a jacket or something?”

“No thanks, I’m fine!” Pinkie said cheerfully, shaking again as soon as she finished.

While Spike and Applejack debated the possibility of exploding twice (by the way, it is entirely possible! Why? Ever heard of Goddard, from Jimmy Neutron? You know, the robotic dog who could make himself ASPLODE!?), I pulled Twilight aside, and hissed, “Lay off her, Twilight.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” I whispered angrily. “I’m sorry, but come on! If Fluttershy is fine, then you can go ahead and do the ‘I-told-you-so dance’ all you want, but until then, I don’t want to hear a word from you about it!”

“But it’s absurd!” She snapped. “I’m willing to bet that even you haven’t heard of such a thing!”

“You know what, I actually HAVE!” I shot back.

“What!?”

“Yeah! Spidey-Sense! Allowed one of my friends to sense Danger! Thanks to an irradiated spider bite!”

She smiled triumphantly, and I rolled my eyes. “That just proves my point! Pinkie’s is totally unbelievable, but yours has some sort of scientific explanation behind it!”

Feeling my patience with this wearing thin, I opened my mouth to say my best OBJECTION!, when Spike said loudly, “Can you do that? Can you explode twice!?”

“Of course not!” Applejack replied testily, never once taking her eyes off the road ahead.

“But what if…What if she exploded? And exploded again? And then-” Spike was cut off as Twilight stomped her hoof on his tail, making him jolt to a stop.

She looked at the dragon irritably, and said, “Will you two STOP!?” Pinkie skidded to a halt next to us, and she added, “She’s fine, I’m sure of it!”

We started forward again, and Applejack said, “Ah hope you’re right, for Fluttershy’s sake.”

Just then, we came upon a small opening that led to a low, muddy marsh, overgrown with various bits and pieces of plant life. My tail swatted at a few flies, and I once again was thankful for my experience with using whips as a weapon.

“Look, there’s Froggy Bottom Bog!” Applejack shouted, pointing at the bog ahead of us.

“Let’s move!” I shouted, taking to the sky. I scanned the area from above, trying to spot our animal loving friend, and hoping that nothing got to her. The others searched as well, Twilight amazingly not saying anything about the Pinkie senses.

Soon enough, I heard Spike yell out, “FLUTTERSHY!” I turned, and saw that he was currently attempting to strangle-hug her. “You’re okay!” He shouted, relief and happiness evident in his voice.

While Fluttershy appeared more than a little surprised at this, she simply smiled, and said, “Of course!”

“Whoo, what a relief,” Applejack said.

“Ain’t that the truth?” I landed next to them, grinning. From what it looked like, apparently Fluttershy was just dropping off some of her frogs here…which, in retrospect, makes sense. I mean, Froggy Bottom Bog, and she’s got Froggies? Makes sense to me! Especially since frogs can’t seem to cross the street safely to save their life.

“I’m so glad everything’s alright!” Pinkie said, standing on a patch of dry land across from Twilight, A.J, and I.

“Sorry,” I heard Twilight say. I rolled my eyes, and she continued. “I know it’s not nice to gloat, but…AHA!” She shouted, startling Spike and causing him to fall into the bog. Fluttershy and Pinkie gave her confused looks, while I just shook my head, and prayed for her speech to be short and too the…what just moved?

I stopped listening to Twilight’s speech, as I cast my eyes about, summoning my Traveler’s Blade, and gripping it with my tail. Thankfully, it was in whip form, which made it really easy for me to use in Pony form, if not the easiest. I flicked my tail experimentally, and the whip shot forth, splashing the water as a cloud of noxious green fumes rolled in.

“Ye Gods, that stinks,” I muttered, edging myself towards Pinkie and Fluttershy. A.J joined us soon after, the green fumes driving her away from Twilight, who stubbornly insisted on continuing her speech…

…Lo and behold, but one of my favorite forces, Irony, seems to take great delight in tormenting Twilight. As she talked, a massive wall of muddy-brown scales rose up behind her, as the fumes got thicker and thicker. I quickly turned my head, and noticed that another column of scales was slowly rinsing from behind the other one. A third, and then a fourth column joined the other two, forming a set of brown…shit, those aren’t columns. Those are NECKS.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that everypony (minus Twilight, who was still somehow oblivious to the monster) was trembling in fear, and that told me that this thing was obviously not something you wanted to mess with-

-until I realized what it really was. A mad grin formed on my face, as Spike finally had to shout, “W-W-Well, then, s-s-see what’s b-b-behind you, Twilight!”

The stubborn unicorn finally turned around, and saw four heads that were snorting green fumes, revealing them to be the source of the- wait, that means we’ve been inhaling essence of monster snot? EWWWWWWW!

Twilight gulped, and said, “I see it…BUT I DON’T BELIVE IT!”

The monster’s heads let out a perfectly (okay, one was a little off, but he was obviously having an off day) synchronized roar, shaking the bog all around us.

I squee’d in girlish delight, and Twilight shouted, “Omnius, that’s a Hydra! Why are you smiling!?!”

Unfurling my wings, I said, “Oh ye of little open mindedness. You see a Hydra, I see the worlds’ largest ‘Whack-a-mole’!”

“Who cares?!” Applejack shouted, reminding me of the danger it posed to my friends. “RUN!”

I saw the wisdom in her statement, and started to run, the rest following. Noticing that Pinkie wasn’t with us, I had to stop, and look around. Spotting Pinkie, who was trembling in fear of the Hydra’s gaze (Wait, how do you show the possessive grammar rule for “Hyrda”? I mean, it’s got more than one head! Does that mean it would be “Hydras’” instead of “Hydra’s”? DAMN YOU GRAMMAR! YOU MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE!).

“Pinkie, come on!” Twilight yelled at Pinkie.

She took a few trembling steps backwards, and one hydra head lunged at her. I swung my whip at her, and snagged the end of her tail, pulling her back in time, causing the hydra to only get a mouthful of mud.

Pinkie shot forward, my whip coming free from her tail, and I saw the danger this monster posed to my friends. As the heads started to attack all of them in turn, my anger started to bubble in my chest, and my basic protective instinct kicked in, telling me what I had to do.

“Run! I’ll slow down Big Uglies here,” I shouted, taking off into the sky.

[I'd suggest listening to "Desire For All That Is Lost” on youtube while reading]

The Hydra slowly crawled out of the water, where it towered over all of the trees, making its way to my friends. I flew in, and did a somersault in mid-air, smacking the side of one head with my whip. The head hissed in pain, and tore its eyes away from Twilight, aiming for me instead.

“That’s right ugly,” I taunted. “Follow the annoying Traveler!” Weaving around the head, I flew under the stomach, and lashed at it with my whip a few times, opening a few shallow cuts that, while not very serious, obviously caused it pain, as all of the heads roared angrily.

“HEEEELLLP!” Spike suddenly called out, distracting me for a moment. One of the heads snapped forward, and hit me with a tree that it had accidentally snagged earlier, hitting me to the side.

As I righted myself, I glimpsed Twilight pulling Spike out of the muck he had gotten stuck in, and forced myself to fly faster, catching a head with my whip, and barely preventing it from making a snack out of the unicorn and dragon.

“Come on, hitting me with a tree!?” I shouted, landing on the hydra’s back. “I’ve been hit by FREIGHT TRAINS! COME AT ME BRO!!!”

Three of the heads ignored me, and the hydra continued making its way towards the ponies, while the less smarter of the heads snapped at me repeatedly, forcing me to go on the defensive, looping through the air as I did so. Eventually, one of the other heads blindsided me, and sent me spinning to the ground.

“OMNIUS!” I heard Twilight yell, as all five of them reached the top of the hill.

“I’m fine,” I weakly called out, wincing as I felt some pressure on my ribs. “Go!”

I tried to get up, but found that I was too weak. Unfortunately, I had crash-landed on a rock, and might have cracked a few ribs this time, something I didn’t take very well.

“RUN!” I shouted, struggling to get up. Seeing them hesitating at a series of stone pillars that formed a makeshift bridge, my heart sank. Unless I could pull a miracle out of my pocket, I don’t think that they’re gonna-

My pocket! I dug a hoof into my vest pocket desperately, and I pulled out the same star that I had snagged out of the air earlier that day. It twinkled strangely, and shimmered in the light. On closer examination, it seemed to be made entirely out of tiny blocks, and two black spots blinked at me, urging me to…

Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy! I think that I might be able to use it! As I closed my eyes to become one with the star’s energy, I dimly heard Twilight call out, “He’s too close! I’ll distract him!”

Hey, that’s my line! Stop siphoning off my hero vibe! I stopped concentrating for a moment, and spotted Twilight, who…just made me the proudest Traveler ever. She screamed, “CHAAAAAARRRRRGEEE!” and did just that, running at the Hydra full steam. She darted under its massive belly, and three of the heads followed her, until the combined momentum of the Hydra’s head caused its body to flip over, buying the unicorn precious time.

“Good goin’ Twi!” I called out weakly. “Now get out of there!”

“I can’t just leave you though!”

“Twilight, STOP STEALING MY LINES!” I shouted, laughing. “Go! I’ll catch up as soon as I can!”

Reluctantly, she started running, and I tuned out the sounds of the forest, and focused on the star I held in my two front hooves. After a few seconds, energy poured through my body, and the pain started to recede, soon disappearing all together. My mind cleared instantly, and I jumped up, flapping my wings rapidly.

I spotted the Hydra standing on top of the hill where Twilight was now eying the somehow now impossible jump that separated her from freedom and certain doom, while the Hydra slowly came closer and closer to her.

“ESPERANTO! LET'SA GO!” I shouted, taking off so fast, that Rainbow Dash would be slightly jealous. In a multi-colored blur, I flew around the heads, laughing all the while. Yeah, that’s right! I’d just gone SUPER STAR on a Hydra! This is officially, the BEST. DAY. EVER!

I didn’t see the outcome of Twilight’s jump, but from the excited cries of the ponies, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that she made it. The hydra angrily roared, and attempted to take out its anger on me.

Big Mistake.

I looped around the necks, while each individual head tried to get at me, eventually tying itself into a knot of tangled necks. While it growled at me, I simply scowled, feeling the effects of the star start to fade.

Taking advantage of the last few seconds I had, I flew up to the knot, and said, “You frighten my friends, attempt to hurt them, and then you insult me by thinking you could defeat me in combat! I have chosen my words carefully, Hydra. Perhaps you should have done the same!”

The Hydra’s collective heads gave me a look that plainly said, “Are you crazy?”

Flying a little ways away, I flew full speed at the knot, and then bucked it with the remaining star-strength, yelling, “THIS. IS. EQUESTRIA!!!” The Hydra stumbled, and then fell into the cliff, plunging into the muck below.

Nodding, I hovered feebly over to the other side, and landed next to the girls, as the star finally wore off. “What do ya think? Too much?” I asked jokingly.

“You’re okay!” Twilight said, hugging me tightly.

“Oof! Yeah, just a little sore,” I chuckled, folding my wings back up. “Wait, I just flew! I mean, really flew, not just that other stuff!”

“Hey, you did!” Pinkie said, smiling widely. “Wowzies! Why didn’t you fly like that earlier?”

“I guess I just adapt well when there’s danger,” I shrugged, rolling my shoulders. “Way to make that jump Twilight! And the way you took on that Hydra! Wow!”

She blushed, and Pinkie said, “I knew you could do it Twilight!”

“I don’t know how it happened. Coincidence…” She glanced at Spike, who was grinning smugly for some reason. “…dumb luck, or what. But you said there’d be a doozy here at Froggy Bottom Bog, and I’d say we just had ourselves one heck of a doozy. I mean, that Hydra-”

She was suddenly interrupted as Pinkie Pie started to twitch violently again. As soon as she stopped, she said, “That wasn’t it.”

“Huh?” Both Twilight and I said at the same time.

“That wasn’t it!” Pinkie said, shaking again.

“What wasn’t what?” Spike asked.

“What are you talkin’ about, Pink?” Applejack asked, confused.

“The hydra wasn’t the doozy!”

I looked over the edge of the cliff, where the hydra was still struggling to free itself from the knot I had gotten it tied in. One of the heads stopped to blow a raspberry at me, and then resumed its tedious task.

“I’m still getting the shudders!” She started shaking as she talked, and said, “See? There it is again! Whatever the doozy was at Froggy Bottom Bog…My Pinkie Sense says it still hasn’t happened!”

I felt my jaw drop, and said, “Wait…There’s something that’s more of a doozy than THAT!?”

Twilight, however, didn’t take the news as well as I did. She started gritting her teeth, and in an obvious attempt to control herself, said in an increasingly louder voice, “The hydra wasn’t the doozy? How could it not be the doozy? What could be doozy-er than that?!”

“Dunno, but that just wasn’t it!”

Twilight’s face scrunched up in extreme anger, as her teeth clenched tightly together, and her eyes dilated in pure frustration. I think I heard an audible “snap” sound that represented her patience/temper, and she jumped into the air-

Holy shit, SHE JUST EVOLVED INTO A RAPIDASH! DAMN IT! I always see the cool Pokémon when I don’t have any Pokéballs with me! Not fair! While I grumbled to myself about never being properly prepared for the critters, the others stared in surprise at Twilight’s pyrotechnic display of temper loss. Eventually, the flames died down, revealing Twilight in extra-crispy form, where she let out an aggravated sigh, and said, “I give up!”

She plopped onto the ground, and Spike asked, “Give up what, Twi?”

“The fight,” She said as Pinkies started shuddering again. “I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t understand how, why, or what. But Pinkie Sense somehow…makes sense. I don’t see how it does, but it just does! Just because I don’t understand, doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Wow. That’s pretty wise,” I said, smiling.

“Y-y-you mean you b-b-believe?” Pinkie stuttered as she kept on shaking.

“Yep. I guess I do,” Twilight stated.

Pinkie started trembling even worse than before, and I think she inflated a few times before she…stopped. Just completely, and utterly, stopped. She gave herself a quick once-over with her eyes, and said, “Oh! That was it! That was the doozy!”

All of us just gaped at the pink pony, and Twilight rushed up to her, and said, “What? What is?”

“You believing! I never expected THAT to happen. That was the doozy,” She said, laughing. I couldn’t help but join her, and she added, “Oh, and oh, what a doozy of a doozy it was!”

We kept laughing, trotting off while the others just stared at us, and I asked her, “Pinkie?”

“Yeah Omni?”

“Do me a favor, and never stop acting like that!” I laughed.

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

XHXHXHXHXHX

As we made our way back to town, I stopped off at Zecora’s hut, and visited her for a few minutes.

“Hello Pony in blue! It is good to see you,” She called out, setting a cup of tea in front of me.

“You too Z,” I replied, sipping at the tea. “How’s the herb thing working?”

“Ponies in town love what I can brew, and again, I must thank you!”

“Thank me?”

“If not for you and sweet little Apple Bloom, Whenever I’d go to town, the ponies would still hide in their room!” She replied, throwing some herbs in a pot.

“Ah, it was nothing. I just wanted to get to meet you,” I answered. “Hey, do you happen to have any azalea seeds? I’ve been thinking I need a less eccentric hobby than the one I have now.”

“Of course,” She answered simply. She tossed me a small pouch with seeds in it, and gave me the proper care and instructions for growing them.

“Now you have these flowers, which you can grow, but what was your old hobby, that I must know?” She asked, placing herself into a meditative stance on her staff.

“Erm…Ever heard of a catapult? I got bored, and built one,” I answered, stuffing the pouch into my pocket.

“Ah. A strange pastime, but no stranger than my rhyme.”

“Yeah, about that: Is there a word you can’t rhyme?” I asked, looking at her.

She grinned, as if she had been asked this before, and said challengingly, “No there is not, I can rhyme words in a single thought.”

“Orange,” I said instantly.

“Door hinge.”

“Oh, you’re good…” I thought for a moment, and then clapped my hooves together. “Got it! Month!”

I was met with silence, as she attempted to think of a word. After five minutes, she shook her head, and sighed. “A clever trick, I must admit, but however did you come up with it?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I beg your pardon?”

I slapped my face, and said, “Right, you don’t get those jokes. Damn it.”

Next Chapter: Taste The Rainboom Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 52 Minutes