My Little HetaStuck MST
Episode 1
Homestuck High

*A theater, Twilight, Italy and John enter.*

Twilight Sparkle: *clears throat* Hello, everyone! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I have recently been employed by CJ Croen to review some pieces of literature known as “fanfictions”. Joining me today are Feliciano “Italy” Vargas…
Italy: Bon journo!
Twilight: and John Egbert.
John: hey!
Twilight: For our show, we’ll be reviewing fanfictions from our various fandoms, and today, we’ll be reviewing something from John’s fandom, Homestuck.
John: It’s called “Homestuck High”, by randomnezz4eva123.
Twilight: Okay then, let’s read!

hi guys this is my first fanfic i RLY hope u all enjoy it im riting it on notpad but mi frend beta red it 4 me! HEHE HOMESTUCK FOREVER!

Twilight: Ugh, so many spelling errors…
John: her “frend” must be a great beta tester.

The spring fling was next week and John didn't have a date. He realy liked Rose however. He had liked her sence second grade when she bit his arm and broke his glasses and made him cry

John: i don't recall rose doing that to me. also, i don't like rose in that way.
Italy: I've never seen fangirls write about crack het pairings before! This must be serious!

He took his books out of his locker and seen Rose walking towards him. He got REALY nervous and began to sweat.

"Hi rose" he said blankly

"What do you want loser" she replied coldly

Twilight: Wow, your friend sounds like a real charmer, John.
John: rose doesn't act like that at all!
Italy: She sounds like my friend England! Is she sarcastic and into magic?
John: well...yes, actually ):

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said

"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"

"Thats ok" John said

Twilight: Well that's stupid!
John: wow, fanfic me is a wimp!
Italy: He makes me look like an Adonis!
Twilight: He makes Fluttershy look brave and strong!
John: ok, that's enough! i get the picture...

Just then the schools goth kid Gamzee came up to talk to them.

"Hey rose" Gamzee seed "I like totally love your hair, wed look amazing together at the spring flarp next week. YoU should go with me."

"I just asked her you goth freak" John proclamed loudly!

John: okay, since when is gamzee a goth? i thought he was a juggalo!
Twilight: What in the name of Celestia is a juggalo?
John: it's someone who's obsessed with the rap group "insane clown posse". they listen to crazy rap music and drink faygo and make themselves up to look like clowns.
Twilight: Sounds like something Pinkie Pie would be into...

"Well your no god for rose. Rose is a beauty like no other rose could compare. I deserve to go with her more than yu do!"

John: gamzee pls, i'm the heir of breath.

"OMG u guys" Rose describbed looking from John to Hamzee "Why don't u both take me to the spring fling next week? We could be a threesome"

Italy: Where did this "Hamzee" person come from?
Twilight: More importanly, why is Rose planning a "threesome". That sounds disturbing.
John: BLARG!

On the weekend Rose went shopping with Jade and Ferrari to pick a dress.

Italy: Ooh! They have a Ferrari with them! I make those!

They got ready together at jades house. Rose was wearing a mini length lether tight dress which came up to her knees like one of those pencil skrits and it hugged her small frame tightly. It had no straps and it was held up by her boobies.

Twilight: Okay, that doesn't even sound physically possible!
John: *shakes head*

It was bright green and it showed of her clevers. She bought knee high leather black boots that had riddles in them and were for inches high off the ground with a pointy toe. She wore her hair up in a kinda messy bun with her bangs just bellow her eyebros. She was wearing thick black eyeliner and bright red lipstick. She was also wearing a fake tan.

John: when did rose become an extra from the jersey shore?
Italy: HISSS! I HATE THAT SHOW! IT'S MORE INSULTING TO ITALIANS THAN I AM!
John: sorry.
Italy: *sigh* It's not your fault.

"OMG u look so hot rose I would totally wanna sex you" Jade said as she smacked Rose's ass.

John:...
Italy:...
Twilight:...Okay, wow.

"you look hot too Jade, I bet Dave will want to sex you to" Rose described

"Do u think so?" she blushed "Im a virgin though"

"Don't worry he likes virgins" Ferrari said "Vriska told me"

Twilight: John, does your friend Jade have an actual relationship with your friend Dave?
John: they used to but they broke up because dave had some issues. i'm not sure if they got back together though.
Twilight: I see, and who is this "Vriska" person?
John: oh, her. she used to be my girlfriend.
Italy: "Used to be"?
John: Well...i kinda had a crush on her...but that was before i met her. after meeting her...i actually...kinda hate her.
Twilight: Romances don't seem to last long in your series. Maybe you need a good relationship counselor? May I suggest my brother, Shining Armor?
John: no thanks, i'm good.
Italy: I could bring in my friend, France!
John: i said i'm good! god!

"OMG Vriskas slept with Dave!" Jade ejaculated

John: omg...gross!
Twilight: Actually, that word used to mean spitting or regurgitating...
John: i don't care! it's still gross! especially because jade's my sister!
Italy: At least fans aren't pairing you with your sister. To all the fangirls out there: I AM IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP WITH GERMANY! PLEASE STOP PAIRING ME WITH MY FRATELLO!

"Yea, but he didn't like it because she wasn't a virgin" Ferrari conjured

"Oh ok" Jade countered

Twilight: ???
John: ???
Italy: ???

They all went to the party and everyone was there. Everyone danced with one another and the lights were flickering between all different colours. All the differnt clicks were dancing together and it was realy good. Dave ended up taking Jade early and Roze gave her a wink but Vriska was jealousy. She want Dave for herself and didnt like them together.

Twilight:...Realy good?
John: thanks for *showing* this to us, author!

"Rose" John said seriously "I think im in love with you"

John: no, i'm not. shut up.

"OMG John" Rose declaration "I think im in lust with you too"

Twilight: "Rose declaration"?
Italy: "In lust"? That sounds like something France would say...

"yay" they both said

Twilight: Wow, you guys sound SOOO enthusiastic...

"OMG you guys karkat just killed himself" Gamzee proclimbed

John: !!!!!!!!!
Twilight: Sweet Celestia!
Italy: PASTAAAAAA!!!

To be continued...