En un lugar de la Muerta, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme...

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Reality: What... what just happened?
//I stand straighter and look around. It's a good question.
//The Goddess Celestia is no longer where she stood. A glowing section of floor has replaced her throne, which has its upper part torn off like it was rudely sieved out of the universe. Twilight's blood rusting on my blade, I watch the assorted Avatars, my friends, shake their heads and recover.
Reality: There was supposed to be blood! Where's the blood?!
Spike: (The bloodlust is getting annoying.)
Reality: (Uh, _sword_.)
Spike: ...It looks like Celestia's left.
Applejack: Careful, y'all. We don't know if she's still around.
Fluttershy: Is everypony alright?
Rainbow Dash: I think my bandage is loose.
//Applejack helps Rainbow Dash with the bandage as Hazel stands, still woozy. She was near the center of the burst. After looking around to check for Celestia, I help the Princess up.
Spike: Are you okay?
Princess Hazel: Of cour-ow fuck, not there--
//I take my hand off her knee--
PH: Of course not. (Just bruised, I hope.) I have _people_ for this shit...
//She turns and limps towards Twilight, eying the darkening skies above.
Pinkie Pie: Celestia left? What now?
Rarity: Hero, the throne is glowing. If some magic remains from the ex-Princess, you should dismiss it with... I must assume that's Reality.
Reality: Keen of you to notice.
//I climb to the top of the stairs, Reality in hand. Left on the floor where Celestia stood is a glowing symbol on the stone: a bow of bone strung with sinew, and smaller a leather quiver stocked full of flared--
Spike: (And I thought my mind was crude.)
//COME ON SHE'S A LONELY GODDESS. AT LEAST NOW, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
//I draw Reality over that part of the figure, erasing it, and step back. Rarity has reached the top of the stairs and stands still next to me.
R: (Are you in any way sure Celestia is not hiding and simply waiting to strike?)
Spike: (...Nope. Where do you think she could be?)
Reality: (If Rarity knew that, she wouldn't need aftersh--)
R: (I can eliminate this room only; my false eyelashes are invisibility sensors. But beyond that...)
Spike: (Is that why you dress up all the time? All your accessories are magic items?)
//Rarity smiles at the glowing symbol.
R: (No. That is simply a bonus.)
PH: Twilight, wake up. We need you now. I need you. This is _important_.
//Hazel talks into Twilight's ear, having rolled her on her stomach. When that doesn't work, she nips the ear, which only gathers a twinge.
AJ: Uh oh, if Twilight's rightly and truly out of it, I don't see much of us dealin' with this mess.
//Rainbow Dash trots over (Applejack tied down a wing for the bandage's support) to the window, puts her hooves on it, and watches the weather. Of all times...
PP: What's the glowy thing?
R: I'm in the process of asking it.
FS: What is it saying?
R: 'Thaumic connectivity issues.'
PP: Did you try turning it off and on again?
//I didn't realize Rarity was casting a spell at all; there's no glow around her horn or telltale signs. There is a small diamond stud on the horn's underside near the tip, though.
Spike: (Huh. Did that stud hurt?)
//Rarity notes glibly:
R: (It did, once.)
//...Well, uh, that was cryptic. I walk down the stairs, standing next to the two earth ponies and Fluttershy. The Avatar of Temptation leans in close to me, maybe in fright.
FS: (Spike? I, um, I'm s-sorry, but I was wondering if maybe -- you know, if you're not doing something right now--)
PP: So what are we doing now?
//Applejack glares Pinkie into silence.
PP: What? It's a legitimate question.
Spike: (You need a recap?)
FS: (It's not to say I haven't been paying as close attention as I should have, but... yes. I wasn't paying as close attention as I should have. Sorry.)
Spike: Okay. So.
PH: So Twilight's out. Can't say for how long, but I'm hoping she recovers pretty damn quick.
Spike: So, that happened first. Twilight fought me because she convinced herself of some crazy theory or other that had to do with Celestia, whom I am quickly learning Twilight is nuts about.
//Nods and muttered assent.
Spike: I ask Hazel to dip into the supplies for a healing potion, Celestia appears. Twilight sees her and freezes up. I get you all, Celestia says she wants to take back the throne.
PP: Was this the part with the uber-explosiony, ultraviolence-filled, dramatic destructive magispectacular duel?
Spike: Ye-- no, that never happened!
//Pinkie Pie touches her front hooves together as the other ponies stare her down.
PP: ...Oh. My bad.
Spike: I realize her actions don't make sense, the dragon instinct pays a visit, Celestia has no response for why there's evidence linking her to traitors and evil, she tries to enslave me and hurt you all before disappearing.
//I think that's most of it. Princess Hazel stares at me.
PH: Wait. You said 'Thaumic connectivity issues'?
Spike: Uh... I did?
AJ: No, Rarity did.
//THANKS FOR THAT, JACKASS
R: Yes, quite persistently. (Though still better than an explosion.)
PH: Try folding a null call into the fourth vector of a standard 5-F probe, same carrier as the glow but orthogonal.
R: And that would show us what, exactly?
//The glowing symbols disappear suddenly. Rarity shakes her head and blinks.
PH: It's a ritual. Damn it all, why is Twilight still like that?!
//We look to Twilight. She's fluttering her eyelashes at the stone in front of her. It's less amusing than you'd think.
//A shrieking sound over harsh chugging, like a chainsaw running into steel, fills my mind as I drop to one knee, accidentally bumping my head into Applejack's flank.
AJ: Woah there -- Spike, you feelin' alright?
//AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGGGGHHH FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKIHAVETOGO
//The dragon instinct leaves my mind entirely, taking the sound with it.
//What was that?
Spike: Uh... yeah. Catching breath. Never better.
//I lift myself back up with a hand on her and Fluttershy's back.
PH: My kingdom is under attack. A ritual is a spell which must be cast before it's called up -- which means Celestia was planning something in the event we rejected her advances. Shit, for the throne. Not like that. Imagine I worded that better.
//We all imagine that for a moment.
PH: Which means we are dealing with a fucking _god_ who wants what we have, is willing to kill thousands of people to get it, and may have been preparing over the last year and a half for this very possibility. We only discovered this in the last six minutes and have, to our name, a nifty sword.
Reality: (Didn't even pun off 'keen'.)
Spike: (Thanks for that.)
PH: Which means we're not dead yet because her plan involves keeping us alive, and I want to find out why. Rainbow Dash! I want you and your Wonderbolts in the sky, report immediately when you see something--
RBD: --strange?
//From the center of the room as we are, no one can see what Rainbow Dash is looking at. More thunder crashes come in from the one open window.
RBD: 'Cause if you want strange, this is it.
//We stumble en masse to the window she's gazing out of. The sky has turned from a normal morning hue to a sky-spanning smear of dark, bulbous miasma. Where it splits, higher in the sky beyond there is a layer of fetid yellow like rotted adipose. The sun, not blocked by any clouds unlike the rest of the sky, is now a cracked and bleeding scab. A greyness descends upon the land.
//Hazel immediately starts barking orders.
PH: Then look for hostiles! Scout only, do not engage! Rarity, find Canterlot's mayor and tell him I've declared martial law!
Spike: Have you declared martial law?
PH: I will once I have time for fucking paperwork! Then use the Magic Corps to establish a curfew!
FS: But it's morning--
PH: You two! Go to the Castle Comms Room and spread word that an impostor of Celestia has tried to take the throne with a magic disguise! Then keep all lines open!
//Pinkie Pie salutes while Fluttershy whimpers down.
PH: Applejack! Find Shining Armor, escort all non-combat Castle workers to safety! Don't include me; the best use of my time right now is to try to wake Twilight.
//She turns, takes two hasty steps and barks:
PH: Now go!
//The Avatars rush off to their tasks, leaving an open window and open throne room door behind them.
Spike: Wait! What am I supposed to do?
PH: You're a damn Hero, it's your job to figure it out.
//After half a moment of pondering, I run after the Avatars with Reality in hand. The dragon instinct left, so something huge is happening to dragons somewhere -- at Celestia's hooves, surely -- that is not here. Hazel will be safe for now with Twilight.
\\And, even if it hurts to admit it, right now I'm not the person Twilight needs to see.

//I skid into the Grand Hall, noting the ashen stains on the marble and meat pastries scattered about everywhere. Cleaning supplies and an upended card table at the top of the stairs, everypony is still here because no one but Rarity knows where anything is in the Castle.
PP: Is it next to the pool?
FS: Canterlot Castle has a pool?
R: No, Applejack, three lefts and then _straight_, it's not so difficult--
AJ: So I can't take the first right?
R: No, that leads down the stairs to the chapel--
Spike: Where's the Comms Room?
//Na-Mira was broadcasting from there. I wonder if they threw her out.
R: We were just there a minute ago, dear--
AJ: What if he's not in his office, any idea where he'd be?
PP: It's like a game of hide and seek! You have to zoom around everywhere yelling his name!
Spike: You were? What happened?
FS: Pinkie, that's not how you play--
R: No, I don't and as a matter of fact I'm going to go on record as recommending you all should acquaint yourselves with the Castle sometime soon, especially in the _strange_ event that _lives_ depend on it--
//A softer pop than earlier comes from the ceiling as a smooth voice echoes through the Castle.
Sound Above: This is Captain Shining Armor of the Castle Guard: all combat personnel to the southeast gardens; I repeat, all combat personnel to the southeast gardens. This is not a drill.
//The radio is put down with a heavy CRACK and the sound of hooves galloping away is heard. It seems like he missed the receiver.
Spike: ...What could that mean?
//Applejack runs off to the southeast with not another word.
FS: A-are w-w-we under at-t-tack?
//Fluttershy's stutter gives away what her body language doesn't.
PP: Nah, Hazel said the kingdom's under attack. We should be good.
//She pauses a second.
PP: Wait, how _do_ you attack a kingdom anyway?
R: ...The Tomb of the Unknown Pony is in that direction.
Spike: Tomb of the Huh?
//Rarity descends the stairs, following Applejack's trail as she speaks.
R: Military crypts, honored nobles' mausoleums et cetera. Fluttershy, would you be an absolute dear and tell the mayor about the curfew for me?
//Crypts... the spells Osto Bacchus cast came directly from Celestia. But would she really...?
//I rush past Rarity, trampling gravy and colored shards to leap out a shattered stained glass window. Outside, several guards gallop in the same direction, hastily donning helmets. I follow them.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Guardspony: Yeeeaaaaaagggrh!
//Beyond purple poppy bushes, surrounded by flat headstones and perfect grass a thin pony is grappling... oh skies. Oh skies, what the hell is that thing?
//Smashed enamel covers the side of its face and the guardspony's front hoof. Sunken flesh reveals ligaments and tendons stretched over a pony's skull, one eyeball still intact but blood and muscles drained away. Parts of its emaciated body have been split and bloodless gore spilled out, exposing bones here and there. No fur or hair can be seen anywhere on it.
Ghoulish Attacker: We had _respect_ for our elders in my--

The Guardspony throws the *iron javelin*! The flying *iron javelin* strikes The Ghoul in the lower body, tearing apart the skin and chipping the lower spine! The *iron javelin* has lodged firmly in the wound!
//Taking advantage of the distraction, the thinner guardspony attacks!
The Guardspony kicks The Ghoul in the front right leg, tearing apart the skin and breaking the bone!

GA: Well, if I say! I'll teach you some manners yet, if my name isn't Garackus--
The Ghoul bites The Guardspony in the neck with his broken front teeth, tearing apart the skin and tearing apart the muscle!
A major artery has been opened by the attack!
The Ghoul has latched on firmly!
Spike: No!

//I run and leap over a hole in the earth about six feet deep, slashing at the undead monster!
The Drakeling slashes The Ghoul in the upper body with his Scythereach, and the severed part flies off in an arc!
//Reality cleaves through the ancient pony and leaves him motionless.
Reality: (Aww...)
Guardspony: He's wounded! Quick, get--
//I glance at the injured guardspony's neck for only a moment, rolling the dry corpse's head away. The wound sprays blood across the well-kept grass. He's looking at me, but I avoid his eyes.
Spike: It's his jugular. Get the rest of the guard out of here! They're not going to do any good!
//He blinks for a moment, so I add:
Spike: Do you need an order?! That's an order! Keep them back, I'll handle this!!
//I turn to see soft earth swell up and topple over a headstone, another ghoul bursting out!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Digging Ghoul: What?! A dragon? What is such an evil creature doing in these fair lands?!
Spike: Drawing irony, apparently!
The Drakeling breathes fire!
The Ghoul is caught in the dragonfire! The Ghoul's left rear leg has been burnt!
//A foul stench rises off the corpse, worse than anything I've ever smelled.
Spike: (Ugh!)
Reality: (What'd you expect? You're burning a dead body.)
Digging Ghoul: Quickly, do it now!
//Huh?

The Ghoul bites The Drakeling in the upper body from behind with his broken front teeth, shattering the scale and bruising the muscle!
The Ghoul latches on firmly!

Spike: Aah -- fuck --
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Blood of the Earth!
Snaking through the dirt, streams of magma flow around The Drakeling's scales and into his veins!
The Drakeling touches The Ghoul in the head with his upper body, and it burns to a crisp! The Drakeling touches The Ghoul in the upper body with his right lower arm, and it burns to a crisp!
The Ghoul has been struck down!
//The most foul stench arises as ex-flesh hits lava. I start coughing.
Digging Ghoul: What sorcery is--
Spike: Shut up!
The Drakeling's wounds have healed!
The Drakeling's Blood of the Earth ends.

The Ghoul charges at The Drakeling!
The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Hand of Judgment!
Spike: Why won't you stay dead?!
The Drakeling punches The Ghoul in the neck with his left hand, tearing apart the skin, tearing apart the muscle, and shattering the upper spine's bone!
//A burst of electricity runs through the undead pony, causing muscle spasms up and down its body as it slumps against my front side. Flash-fried undead smells divine, by the way.
The Ghoul has been struck down!

The Digging Ghoul was defeated!
Spike earned 5000 experience points!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Crazy goddess bint! Is this what she's done?!
//I turn around and check, confirming my suspicions that the pony who bit me from behind was none other than the one whose jugular was severed. The head's gone, but the body has moved from there to here. Raising the dead within seconds...
Reality: Undead, huh? Too bad. Maybe you can hit them with my end?
//His... oh, Reality means the pommel. I forgot he was a sword, somehow.
Spike: Why?
Reality: You can't slash undead who have lost all their blood and organs already.
Spike: ...You suck magic out of things.
Reality: Phrasing.
Spike: These corpses are animated with spirits that Celestia has summoned. Just touching them with you should whisk their souls -- or whatever -- away. I think.
//The first ghoul stopped moving even though he had front legs and a mouth to attack with.
Reality: ...Maybe? I didn't feel much. Then again, without squishy bits feeling anything is difficult.
//From far off sounds of a shout and magic spell. I dearly hope it's on our side as I start rushing over.
Reality: Like one time, James was trying to explain his love life to me, but I just had no sympathy because honestly? The guy was kinda--
Spike: (Quiet!)
AJ: I said stay back y'damn idiot!
//I sprint to the source of Applejack's voice!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//The Tomb of the Unknown Pony, a limestone statue of a blank-flank, faceless androgynous warrior, towers two stories over us with a spear. At the top of the stairs around the monument, Applejack tries to corral Shining Armor behind the broad spear tip, blocking him from the sight of three corpse-like unicorns. On the other side, four outright skeletons are clacking their way up the stairs.
//Applejack shouts:
AJ: Spike! Shinin' Armor's been charmed!
Spike: What?!
//Celestia has not only the power to raise the undead, but grant them magic?!
Dead Unicorn One: Why aren't you letting me see my husband?!
Shining Armor: That's my _wife_ down there, that's her! General Applejack--
Applejack slams Shining Armor in the upper body with her lower body, bruising the skin and bruising the muscle!
Shining Armor is propelled away by the force of the blow!
//Lifted off his hooves, he falls over beyond the spear tip. Applejack is trying to keep him away from his bloody death, so her hooves are full!
AJ: A little help here?!
//The two other unicorns look at me and attack!

The Dead Unicorn points her horn at The Drakeling and casts Charm! The Drakeling dodges away from the flying beam!
The Dead Unicorn speaks words of power, forming symbols in the air! The spell doesn't affect enemy The Drakeling!

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Lake of Fire!
Flames coat the ground!
//I put a wall around the top of the monument, cutting off the skeletons and unicorns from my friends.
Spike: Over here! Don't you want a tasty drakeling, so you can not-live forever?
//I shake my tail, which draws the attention of the other unicorn and skeletons.

The Skeleton charges at The Drakeling!
The Skeleton bites at The Drakeling, but The Drakeling dodges away!
The Drakeling counterattacks!
The Drakeling slaps The Skeleton in the front right hoof with Reality, but the attack glances away!
The Skeleton collapses! The Skeleton has been struck down!

The Dead Unicorn points her horn at The Drakeling and casts Stun! The beam strikes The Drakeling in the right upper leg!
//For a moment my muscles lock up and I jerk, dropping Reality. Muscle control returns as quickly as it left when it hits my foot.
The Skeleton charges at The Drakeling!
The Skeleton charges at The Drakeling!
The Skeleton headbutts The Drakeling in the upper body, bruising the scales and bruising the muscle!
The Skeleton bowls over The Drakeling!
Spike: Gnhoo--
//That was supposed to be 'No!'--
The Skeleton kicks The Drakeling in the right upper arm with its left front hoof, shattering the scale and tearing apart the muscle!
//Yow! That hoof is sharp!

//On the ground I grab at ribs and yank--
The Drakeling grabs The Skeleton by the left true ribs with his left hand! The Drakeling breaks The Skeleton's left true ribs with his left hand, and the severed parts fly off in an arc!
The Drakeling grabs at The Skeleton's upper spine, but The Skeleton dodges away!

Dead Unicorn Three: Hold him down so I can charm him too!
//...Damnit! If I'm charmed now, the dragon instinct isn't here to yell me out of it!
The Drakeling dismisses the flames.
Shining Armor: My love!
Applejack: You idiot!
The Skeleton bites The Drakeling in the head, tearing apart the scale and tearing apart the nose's cartilage!
//Ow! Not on the first date!
The Drakeling breathes fire!
The Skeleton is caught in the dragonfire! The Skeleton's skull has burnt to a crisp! The Skeleton has been destroyed!
The Skeleton bites The Drakeling in the right hand, chipping the scale, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
The Skeleton latches on firmly!
//More skeletons try to surround me from nowhere. One of them inadvertently touches Reality and collapses.

The Dead Unicorn points her horn at The Drakeling!
//I'm still on the ground please let this work--
The Drakeling grabs The Skeleton by the middle spine with his left hand! The Drakeling throws The Skeleton by the middle spine!
The Skeleton's middle spine has been broken!
The Dead Unicorn casts Charm! The flying beam strikes The Skeleton in the skull!
//It collapses in a pile of bones where it lands, but looks at the dead unicorn longingly.

The Skeleton kicks at The Drakeling with its front right hoof, but The Drakeling rolls away!
The Drakeling breaks the grip of The Skeleton's upper front teeth on The Drakeling's right hand.
Reality: Mmmph mmph mph-phmmm!
//I pull out Reality from under my back and slash with it!
The Drakeling slashes The Skeleton in the front right leg with Reality, shattering the bone!
The Skeleton collapses!
The Drakeling slashes The Skeleton in the pelvis with Reality, shattering the bone!
The Skeleton collapses!
//I stand up away from the last bony freak.

//The other unicorns, deciding the third one has a good plan, start casting spells at me.
The Dead Unicorn points her horn at The Drakeling and casts Charm! The Drakeling dodges away from the flying beam!
The Dead Unicorn points her horn at The Drakeling and casts Charm! The Drakeling slaps the flying beam with Reality!
//Shining Armor breaks away from Applejack and gallops down the stairs!
SA: Cadence! Cadence, I'm finally--
The Skeleton kicks at The Drakeling with its left rear hoof, but the attack is deflected by The Drakeling's Reality!
The Skeleton collapses!

//From the top of the stairs a monumental charge:
AJ: You dog-gone moron of a Captain--
Applejack charges at The Dead Unicorn!
Applejack kicks The Dead Unicorn in the upper body with her left rear hoof, and it collapses into a pile of gore!
The Dead Unicorn has been struck down!

//She's in the middle of them! I've got to take one out!
The Drakeling rushes forward!
The Drakeling slashes The Dead Unicorn in the front right leg with his Scythereach, and the severed part flies off in an arc!
The Dead Unicorn collapses!

Dead Unicorn One: Hold it!
//I skid to a stop near Applejack when I see the last ghoul is holding Shining Armor with a leg around his neck. He is crying into her rotten, mushy shoulder and refusing to let her go.
SA: I never thought I would see you again, I never... but I'm here now. We can be a family now, a family again...
DUO: One hoof closer and I take a chunk out of this one's neck. That goes for you too, dragon!
//Applejack and I seethe, watching Shining Armor embrace a corpse he thinks is the dead Princess Cadence. It's, uh, well I can't say myself because I never met her but it would be a stretch to assume it's actually her.
Spike: (That's... not Cadence, is it?)
AJ: (...Are y'all blind, Spike?)
Spike: (Just give me a yes or no here.)
AJ: (Of _course not_.)
Reality: ('Of corpse not'?)
DUO: I want the drakeling to put down his sword and take ten steps away from it.
Spike: Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
//Of course not.
Spike: (It's okay, the sword's not turned off yet.)
//Our hero whispers to Applejack too loudly.
AJ: (I thought it didn't--)
//I glare daggers at her.
DUO: No no no. Turn off the sword, then put it down. No funny business.
Spike: Fine. I just want to warn you: it'll look like I'm actually casting a spell that makes me move faster and invisible, but in reality--

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//Come on come on come on _hurry_!
The Drakeling charges at The Dead Unicorn!
The Drakeling slaps The Dead Unicorn in the head with his Reality! The Dead Unicorn collapses!
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.

The Undead Mob has been defeated!
Spike earned 20000 experience points!
Spike is now level 44!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Crazy twist-the-knife bint...
//Shining Armor's joy turns sour as he watches the dead unicorn slump over in his front legs.
Reality: (It might be wise to smack him as well.)
Spike: (Oh, right.)
The Drakeling touches Shining Armor in the shoulder with his Reality!
//The Captain of the Guard looks at the corpse in his grasp for a moment, then lets it drop with a heavy thud.
AJ: Alright. So are y'all still messed up in the head or can we get outta this freaky graveyard?
SA: I... I really just... my head...
AJ: ...Is that a yes?
Spike: (Give him some time. He just watched his wife die in front of him. You know, again.)
SA: ...
//Shining Armor closes his eyes and mutters:
SA: I'm sorry. I need a minute.
//He trots off, back towards the Castle.
Spike: (Should he be going alone right now?)
//The Avatar of Strength dons a thinking look.
AJ: (He's got his magic. 'Sides, the path should be clear anyway, considerin' we got here through it.)
Spike: No, I meant 'should we leave too'.
//And he doesn't have magic right now because of Reality.
//As the earth pony shrugs indifferently, I look around us. Off in the distance, beneath the shade of short trees, several more headstones are upturned as skeletons rise from the grave.
Spike: Some over there.
AJ: Last I heard, somepony was workin' on creatin' a perimeter. Not sure how well that'll hold up against magic attack, though, so seek-and-destroy is what's happenin'.
Spike: Right. Even if they are undead, spellcasters can't stand up to Reality.
AJ: ('Specially one we know.)
Reality: Speaking of that, I found something that might be a... _point_ of interest.
//One more damn pun and I'm gonna--
//A raindrop falls on my head before Reality continues. I look up, into darker clouds than came in earlier. Applejack, noticing me, does the same.
AJ: Rainin'?
Spike: Didn't they say Celestia controlled the weather?
AJ: 'Course not. Pegasi made clouds and snow and all in Cloudsdale before it crashed to the ground.
//Which happened when Celestia left... Another drop hits my cheek, and I hold Reality over my head.
Spike: So how do you explain this?
//Applejack thinks for a moment, staring into the sky. A drop falls past her lips as she starts to speak, and she coughs dryly for a minute.
Spike: 'Swings, you okay?
//Through a wheeze she gets out:
AJ: ...'Taint water...
//Another drop hits my shoulder. It turns into a viscous trail that slimes down my shoulder and between the scales, colored yellow-white.
//The hell kind of weather is this?!
//I grab Applejack and drag her back up the stairs to the monument, taking shelter below the broad spear tip as the rain grows heavier. A stench arises from the thick rain, and it gathers up on the ground in sludge-piles.
AJ: It's like... rotten custard?
Spike: Why would desserts start raining from the sky?
//Applejack shrugs.
AJ: It's happened before.
Reality: So, two things. One, I still have information that may give you an _edge_. And--
Spike: Would you stop?!
//Quieter, Reality mutters:
Reality: ...And there's someone coming with a bunch of magic items.
AJ: Buncha-- must be Rarity!
//We lean out from the improvised cover to see Rarity at the bottom of the monument steps, surrounded by a magic bubble deflecting the rain. She spots us and is taken aback when we approach.
Rarity: Applejack, what in _Equestria_ are you doing? This is a biohazard!
AJ: Huh-huh, it's just custard. Quit bein' so prissy, girl!
R: This is not custard. It is pus.
//Wh--
//I look at the goop squelching up between my toes. It does look more biological than custard...

The Unicorn touches her xx+woven cloth saddle+xx, forming symbols in the air!
The Drakeling is protected by a bubble! Applejack is protected by a bubble!

//Rain pings off the magic film above us. I clear my scales with dragonfire, and Applejack shakes her mane. Stray strands of pus bounce between our shields as she sheds it.
Spike: What kind of freaky weather is this? Why rain pus, of all things?
R: To spread disease and illness, of course. Either raining fire was too demanding, or Celestia has some sort of plan which involves the slow death of many people.
AJ: So what do we do?
R: Right now, several historical admirals are entombed beneath this statue. One of whom is Tellerius Gloric, founder of the Magic Corps. Given I have met (and dismissed of) two long-dead unicorns with their full magic powers, it is fair to say some of the living dead retain their intelligence.
Reality: Right, that's what I was about to say when you _cut_--
R: And if they owe their resurrection to Celestia, the military geniuses in this graveyard are not ponies we want organized against us.
//Applejack taps me on the shoulder with a hoof.
AJ: ...Spike? How long d'you think it's wise to ignore your sword there?
Spike: As long as he keeps making puns.
//The skeletons from earlier are now making slow progress towards us, stymied by slipping on the foul gunk coating the ground. I nod at them, making everyone aware, but for now they're no problem.
Reality: All right I give now listen. The unicorns we slashed apart had two sources of magic in them each, one shared and one independent. Happy?
//Two sources of magic... they cast spells, and Celestia caused them to rise from the grave. So, Celestia's spell, and the unicorns themselves.
Spike: So?
R: If Celestia raises spellcasters, she effectively increases the quantity of magic under her command.
AJ: Maybe not. Y'all said a pony comin' back from the dead still had its intelligence. Who says every pony she brings back is gonna try and do her biddin'?
Spike: ...Were we not just struggling with Shining Armor being magically charmed three minutes ago?
//An explosion from the north knocks Rarity and I over. Applejack covers her face from the sudden gust as we pick ourselves up, dripping pus. High up in the sky, blocks of stone, decorative artwork and cheap plastic toys tumble through the air. The skeletons are running at us now, with no trouble.
AJ: ...Was that the museum and gift shop?
Reality: Oh man I'm glad I steeled myself for that--
//The base of the Tomb of the Unknown Pony's statue bucks from another explosion, rising from the back corner opposite the speartip. Pushed against the ground, the stone spear breaks and slams into the monument's top.
AJ: They're tryin' to escape!
Spike: Applejack, can you take the skeletons? We'll deal with these ones!
//She nods and gallops off, having trouble with the hoofwork.
R: ...Museum and gift shop.
Spike: Now is _not_ the time to mourn art desecration!
//In the fetid rain Rarity's irises grow very small, looking past the monument in front of her. She then shakes and urgently gestures to the north.
R: Tomb -- Dawn -- end her -- go!
Spike: Bwuh--
//The Avatar of Avarice dashes past me, activating several magical items as she charges the monument.
R: Hurry!
//What?!
Reality: Dawn?! _Dawn_?!
Spike: What's going on?!
Reality: Run! Just run!
//I hold Reality close and sprint off north, towards the epicenter of the explosion.
Reality: No! Wrong way!

//I jump over the fencing, banging my tail on it more than once. No matter; the growing cacophony in the sky drowns that out. The crater below me is a hundred meters into an abyss full of flooded, labyrinthine architecture and broken rock. The ground is slick and almost impossible to get purchase on.
Growing Cacophony: The stars... where are the _stars_?
//An alicorn stands on air, radiating black-red heat and light, fizzling the rain on contact. Just the waste energy she's dumping is an order of magnitude more than anypony could claim to possess.
Spike: (Is that Dawn?)
Reality: (Oh gods we need to go we need to get out of here--)
//A great and terrible cry arises, echoing before it begins:
Growing Cacophony: What did you do to the _stars_?!
//The pony in the sky might have had fur of soft peach or sky blue once, but now it is stark white. Most of her mane is left, surprisingly, not whipped about madly by thaumic eddy currents but simply drifting in the not-breeze.
//...She's hanging in the sky without flapping her wings. I need to get her down here, somehow.
Spike: Hey!!
//Waving Reality, I shout up to the floating Dawn.
Reality: Aah, no! This is the opposite of what you should be doing!
Dawn: Impossible... the witch has even the power to blot out the heavens.
//'The witch'? Does she mean Celestia?
Spike: Celestia's name literally means 'the heavens', so it makes sense! Also, look down here! Yoo-hoo! Dawn!
Reality: Bad bad bad bad--
//At the mention of her name, the cacophony around Dawn slows down. The dimness about her recedes, and the rain fizzles less.
Dawn: My power... it feels different than before. A strangeness invades me. It is unpleasant.
Spike: Hey! What was with the explosion? Are you angry and undead? Dawn, look this way!
//Darn it, it's not working at all...
Reality: Yes, it's not working! Now take this shining opportunity to--
//I got it!
//I angle Reality so that it's angled between her eyes and my mouth. I breathe fire, experimentally, then wiggle it around to get it closer.
Dawn: Why do you not come? Why do you not confront me now that I seek you out once again? Why have you awakened me to this new, foreign world? Why -- why is there a glint in my eye?
//The glowing alicorn turns her long neck and spots me, then casts a spell!
The Favored Daughter speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air!
The Favored Daughter casts Spaceturn!
//Behind me, a fifteen-foot radius sphere turns to air, centered on Dawn. Far above the crater, a hemisphere of dirt and broken fence starts falling from the sky.
Dawn: What do you?! Serve you my mother?!
//That's poor grammar if I've ever seen it.
Spike: Uh... I was wondering why you blew up the Castle gift shop.
//Technically true, I suppose.
//Baffled, Dawn (the Favored Daughter of Celestia, if the action text is to be believed) glares through me with the kind of force that tears down mountains.
Dawn: On top of my tomb she built a _gift shop_?!
Spike: What a crazy disrespectful bint, right?
//Maybe, if I keep talking to this person, she'll let me get close enough for Scythereach...
Dawn: Why... what manner of creature are you?
\\Here we go again.
Spike: Uh...
//Should I tell the truth?

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>TELL THE TRUTH
>>LIE

//Well... all things considered, being a drakeling has made people want to get close to me...
Spike: I'm a drakeling. Shouldn't you know that?
//Assuming the story in the tomb of Bucket James wasn't a historical fanfiction, that is.
Dawn: ...You do not look so. Then again, the whole world does not look... as it once did.
Spike: What the heck do you mean I don't look like a drakeling?
//I ain't no pony!
Dawn: You are a many-tentacled blackened writhing mass of knotted flesh, this is what I see. Is this not so?
//Uh...
Spike: Excuse me?!
Reality: (Uh, yeah, heads up, that's... what I look like under a magic sensor. She's seeing me.)
//'Things I Didn't Need to Know About My Equipment, Part One'...
Spike: ...No. Dawn, listen, you're undead now. Celestia cast a spell--
Dawn: Tell me not of my mother's misdeeds! I have heard of them too many!
//Wow, really? Could this pony be an ally in the fight versus Celestia?
Spike: ...You attacked her... with your lover, right?
//His tomb implied that she fell in love with Bucket James, and betrayed Celestia. And others mentioned James killed Celestia's family, so, the only reasonable action after that...
Dawn: Yes. I remember...
//The floating figure, black-red aura now clinging closely to her skin, holds her head in her hooves.
Dawn: I remember she killed me. Twice. This is quite clear. I remember... that tentacled mass.
Reality: (Uh oh.)
//I take a step forward, into the hemispherical absence surrounding Dawn. It's too far to slash her... even if I wanted to.
Dawn: Reality. You have been found where I hid you, hanging above her throne. Did my James take you down?
//Reality mutters a little in my hand:
Reality: Er, well... I'm not exactly _sharp_ on the details--
Spike: So, yeah, you're undead now. A corpse risen from the grave to do Celestia's bidding. Unless you're not, in which case, uh... hi?
//Dawn muses for a moment, wings spread wide as her thick mane flows on a wind which does not drive the slimy rain. Her heredity is clear to see.
Dawn: A male drakeling, with Reality... kindly do me a favor, good sir knight. Place your sword away, so that I may look upon you with my own two eyes -- or what is present in their stead.
//Oh, she thinks -- hah! -- she thinks I'm Bucket James. Dude is long dead.
Reality: (DO NOT DO THIS OH MY GODS DO ANYTHING BUT THIS.)
Spike: (First off, only the dragon instinct can talk in all caps so cut it out, and second it's just a case of mistaken identity. I'll put you down for a moment, and then when she sees I'm not him I'll pick you back up.)
Reality: (Extreme-o ill-advised plan! Just parry her request, because--)
//I roll my eyes.
The Drakeling drops Reality.
Reality: (--you look _exactly_--)
//Dawn looks me over, once, the focus of her eyes not changing but her head moving. After a short moment, a smile like sunrise breaks on her face.
Dawn: James!!
//What?!
The Favored Daughter charges at The Drakeling!
The Favored Daughter grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her upper body! The Favored Daughter grabs The Drakeling by the lower body with her left front leg! The Favored Daughter grabs The Drakeling by the lower body with her right front leg!
The Favored Daughter drags The Drakeling into the sky!
//She drags me into the air, laughing all the while!
Dawn: James! Oh-hoh, my James, by the stars! I thought I'd never see you again!
//Celestia's Favored Daughter squeezes me tight, driving the breath out of me. Her wings flap as the last of the dark aura fades into her, power fully concentrated.
//She leans back once to look at me again, laughing more, then buries her head against my chest. Her horn tickles my chin.
Dawn: Oh, James. Oh, James! What cruel world is this such that we were separated, but oh! To have you again! The coming of a thousand summers could not ignite such warmth in me!
//Really? 'Cause she's kind of slimy and cold.
Dawn: To have spent any amount of time elsewhere but beside you, my love... never again. No matter what it takes! Subservience or revolution; whatever may come I shall weather with you. The thought of losing you -- in my death or yours -- is too much to bear.
//...At what point should I have mentioned I'm not Bucket James? Is my grave too deep now?
//Still held close by the elated Dawn, we descend to the ruins of the gift shop and I'm let go, falling heavily on my back. The second most powerful spellcaster in known history stands over me, leaking formaldehyde.
Dawn: How long has it been since our eyes last met, my love? Has it been years? Even decades?
Spike: Er...
//I think 'five centuries' might freak her out a bit...
Spike: I'm... just surprised how remarkably preserved you are.
//She lifts a leg, and I note her body's intactness.
Dawn: It does seem my wrappings kept me well. For what purpose I cannot say, but the purpose I choose lies beneath me.
//Hold on--
The Favored Daughter grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her left front leg! The Favored Daughter grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her right front leg!
The Drakeling is pinned!
//Running the tip of her hoof down my torso, the mummy-pony coos:
Dawn: Has it been so long you've forgotten all my favorite places, my love? You're not... unhappy to see me, are you?
//...Now would be a _bad_ time to bring up my real identity. But I have to do something!
Spike: I... just don't know if your body has changed. Because of the, y'know, 'undead' thing.
Dawn: I... well, I do suppose it's something we'll have to explore in detail, you and I. But I am lusty, so do feel free.
The Favored Daughter points at The Drakeling with her horn and casts Arouse! The Drakeling is struck by the flying beam!
//Blood surges to one spot, flowing until it aches. I have to bite my tongue to not groan in pain. How is this supposed to be erotic?!
//Instead of speaking any more, or moving on top of me, the white demi-goddess shuffles her hooves against my chest, growing quieter.
Spike: ...Is something wrong?
//Tentatively, she speaks:
Dawn: It... may be my unfamiliarity with my new form. But I cannot feel the heat that should be welling up from your chest in my proximity.
//Damnit, is there seriously something new about drakelinghood bonds to learn every single day?!
Spike: I -- er, that's -- um --

It speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! A massive chunk of stone rises from the ground, forming a boulder!
It throws a boulder at The Favored Daughter!
The spinning boulder strikes The Favored Daughter in the left wing, bruising the muscle and shattering the bone! The spinning boulder strikes The Favored Daughter in the lower body, bruising the muscle, bruising the guts and bruising the left kidney!
The Favored Daughter is propelled away by the force of the blow!

//Dawn and boulder tumble past me, both breaking against a pillar that once held the museum roof. As it crumbles back, Dawn sheds the boulder and with a magical flourish fixes her wing, staring intensely. I roll upwards, looking back to the Castle with fire on my lips.
Twilight Sparkle: Get away from him!
//Oh. Hi, Twilight.
//A skin-conforming blue shield shepherds away errant rain from Twilight's body, leaving hoof-sized circles of pus when she walks. I motion cutting my neck with my hand, stopping Twilight before she reaches me. Dawn... doesn't rise into the air angrily shouting, which is unexpected.
Dawn: Who are you?
//Glaring daggers, Twilight declares:
T: My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm the Princess of Equestria! So keep your decaying hooves off of my Hero!
//Uh-oh, bad bad bad... I try to stand up and slip in the thick gunk. Reality was that way, right?
//Dawn's eyebrows disappear behind her impossible, undisturbed mane.
Dawn: Princess? You rule Equestria now?
T: Yes! And it's my responsibility to defend it from _horrible creatures like you_!

Twilight points at The Favored Daughter and casts a spell! Twilight casts Helium Flash!
The Favored Daughter speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air!
The Favored Daughter casts Spaceturn!
//Between Twilight and I a crumbled pillar with Dawn next to it appears, alongside fifteen feet radius of surrounding scenery. Twilight's spell of heat passes over a circle of flat cobblestone pathing and grass, scorching the earth.
//Dawn rises into the air, not bothering to flap her wings.
Dawn: Rebuke me no further, _mortal_. You are a fool if you believe any but Celestia rule this realm.
T: _You are not Celestia_!

The Drakeling stands up.
//Finally! I didn't fall over this time!
Twilight speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! Twilight casts Heat Sink!
//Pus around Dawn freezes, sticking to the grass and stone as white-yellow frost. But a second later, two black-red pulses from Dawn's body dismiss the spell!
T: (What?!)
//I lean to the side and try to mouth:
Spike: (Dawn!)
Dawn: By half I am. Do you hold the throne in my mother's stead?
//Twilight slightly leans her head my way, trying to make out what I'm saying.
T: (Huh?)
Spike: (Dawn! Favored Daughter!)
//I try to more expressively mouth.
Dawn: Well?!
T: I... Celestia left a year and a half ago. There was no one else, so yes!
//A narrowing of Dawn's glazed eyes reminds us both she can't actually see. Or not well; she did see the glint on Reality... I wonder how Twilight looks through magical eyes.
T: (What's going on?)
//She's mouthing to me, looking at Dawn.
Spike: (I don't know!)
Dawn: And why you, hmm? Is Twilight Sparkle the strongest, the savviest, the mare of most charm?
//Twilight stares at Dawn as her voice grows less hostile.
T: Honestly... no.
Spike: That's bullshit--
//Twilight cuts me off as Dawn turns her head my way--
T: I'm not the strongest, or most clever, or the best with people. I took the throne because no one else would! Celestia herself took me as an apprentice, for _this very situation_! Only I can do this!
//Time passes as rain falls, both of us taking in Twilight's words. I see a spell brewing on Dawn's horn, turned away from the patient unicorn, and gesture to my forehead.

Dawn points her horn at Twilight and casts Forcelance!
Twilight speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! Twilight casts Teleport!
//Twilight pops next to me as Dawn's spell punches a hole, two inches in diameter, deep into the dirt where Twilight stood. I hug her immediately.
Spike: (_Damn_ am I glad to see you.)
T: (You too.)
//She nuzzles me in the head with her horn. We stand apart for combat reasons, even though neither of us really want to.
//Dawn swivels again, tendrils of raw power inching out and caressing the stones beneath her as she ponders.
Dawn: (Why there. Why there, of all places...)
//Twilight motions towards me and mouths:
T: (Reality?)
//I gesture with a thumb and respond:
Spike: (In a ditch.)
T: (I know, but where's--)
//Dawn falls to the sodden earth, landing heavily as her power visually retreats. Her head is turned down, but does not hang. She solemnly speaks:
Dawn: James.
//Immediately I motion to Twilight:
Spike: (_Do_ _not_ _ask_.)
//This crazy bint is far too trigger happy. If it keeps her more calm thinking I'm Bucket James until she's destroyed, I'm all for it.
//Confused, Twilight just nods.
Dawn: James, my love. Your response when I asked what oceans of time separated our last embrace was not forthcoming. I beg of you, tell me now: how long ago did I once live?
T: (She _knows_ she's undead?)
Spike: (I, uh, might have mentioned it to her.)
T: (That... changes things. I thought she was mindless.)
//That doesn't make any sense.
Spike: (How would mindless undead speak?)
//Dawn snorts. Dark red blood flows out of her nose with formaldehyde, dripping off her torn lips.
Dawn: You whisper and collude so. Has it been that much time? When did you grow to fear, instead of love me?
//I look at Twilight, ending our conversation.
Spike: ...It's been five hundred years.
Dawn: I see. ...I see.
//She raises her head, staring dead between us.
Dawn: And you have remained a drakeling in this time. I suppose this one is to thank for such a deed.
//She's not implying...
T: That's not--
Dawn: Silence, interloper!

The Favored Daughter speaks a word of power, forming symbols in the air! The Favored Daughter casts Spaceturn!
//The world around me shifts, everything but a circle on the ground I'm at the edge of -- now I'm even further away from Reality! Twilight and Dawn are between us!
Twilight: Spike!
Spike: No!
Dawn: There are many ways to destroy a drakeling's bond. I will kill you twice, pawn of Hecate, and take my destined throne! With my love at my side I shall drive the wickedness of Celestia from these lands forever!
T: He's not bound to me--
Spike: We're fighting against Celestia--
//A black-red roar, like a tidal wave from a ocean filled with power and rage, beats us back. Wordlessly, the fight begins.

 

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With apologies to Tarn Adams:

Life throws the *tonne of bricks* at the User 12! The *tonne of bricks* strikes User 12 in the motivation, and the severed part flies off in an arc!
It happens, sorry everypony; things got crazy at the exact wrong time in the story. The only exciting chapters left are the ones in the second half of Part Three and I'd have to slog through chapters of scene-setting yet meaningless fighting to get there -- which, while eerily similar to Monster Girl Quest Part Three, isn't something I want to do right now. I figure you've got a quarter of a million words out of the deal and I've got your eyeballs, so the deal wasn't too bad for either of us. I'll throw in a little extra, just 'cause I like you, kid: the rest of the plot in summary form. See the ending note.
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