//We walk to the bottom of the junk pile at the end of the room. Pinkie Pie is carrying the Element of Laughter in her mouth. Twilight is floating along.
Spike: So, Twilight...
T: Hmm?
//She's reading an unmarked book intently.
Spike: I, uh... back there, in the gondola, when I held my head, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the dragon instinct.
T: Dragon instinct, mm-hmm.
//She could at least listen to me. It's kind of rude ignoring someone's apology...
Spike: You're one of my best friends if not the only good friend I have, and I do want you in my life. I wasn't saying any of that to you.
T: Of course you weren't... --!
//Twilight opens her eyes wide, then zips over to hug me, saying:
T: Oh, no, Celestia, no! I didn't--! Skies, no!
Spike: Uh, okay, what?
//I pat her on the back with one hand, feeling awkward.
//She holds me in front of her with her hooves.
T: I didn't leave because I thought you said that to me! I saw what a hard time you were having with the dragon instinct and left to find something about it!
Spike: Oh. Okay, that's good to hear.
PP: It is! What's also good to hear is: you're two fifths of the way towards being able to meet Princess Hazel and being knighted Hero of the Land!
//Pinkie Pie tosses the Element of Laughter over my head!

Spike has acquired The Element of Laughter!
[2/5] Elements acquired!
Congratulations!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Pinkie Pie steps on The Drakeling's tail with her left front leg!
A power crawls up The Drakeling, like ice through his blood!
[Touch of Grisly Terror] was mastered!

//Ow!
The Drakeling jumps away from Pinkie Pie!
Spike: Watch it!
//I hold the tip of my tail in my hands. Darn, that's going to bruise...
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha, sorry! I was going to run my nose down your back, but that works too, I guess?
//My legs don't feel as jumpy now. Did it replace my Dashing Rogue Punch? I liked that, it was the first move I had...
Spike: Touch of Grisly Terror? Doesn't sound like you at all, Pinkie Pie.
PP: Hehehaha *snort*, it's _not_ me, silly! It's a move designed to strike fear into your opponents! When you touch them with this, the limb you hit will stop responding!
T: ...I've never heard of such a thing before.
PP: It was a secret between me and the Element! But now it's not, hehehaha *snort* hehehaha!
Spike: ...How is that related to Laughter at all?
PP: Fear is the power to take laughter away. Which is why, I say, you always have to laugh!
Spike: ...I'll try to remember that, Pinkie Pie.
PP: Bye!
//Pinkie Pie walks out of the room, onto another gondola. The doors start shutting in front of her.
Spike: Wait! Did you know that wasn't your Coin of Decisions? What was the test really about?
//As the doors shut, Pinkie Pie laughs:
PP: Oh, Spike! You must really not be the old Spike!
T: Huh?
PP: The old Spike would know better than to expect a straight answer out of me!
//The doors close, and the gondola moves off, further up, to the top of Mountainville Casino and Resort. I turn to Twilight.
T: For the record, Spike, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Rarity earlier. Even if, strangely enough, it seems you've already forgiven me.
Spike: Twilight...
//I try to sum up what I want to say before I say it, so it comes out right.
Spike: You're not sorry. So don't apologize.
T: Spike, I am--
Spike: _No_, you're _not_, or you would have told me. I trust there _is_ a reason you didn't tell me, and I trust you enough to believe that reason was worth it. The same goes for all your other lies of omission.
//Defensively, Twilight responds:
T: Lies, what other--
//I wave my hand.
Spike: It's fine, I'm okay with it. I'm a Hero of Celestia now, not something that happened to me far in the past that I don't remember. Besides, it's not like I ask you about my past.
T: Again, I'm still not understanding why that is.
Spike: I can't take the past just from one source.
//If I used to be a bound drakeling, and I'm not bound now (as the nurses and Osdar said), then that must have been reversed, but common sentiment is that such a thing can't be reversed... only some of the most powerful magic in the world could do that.
//And still, what kind of idiot would I be to trust the first person I meet after waking up?
Spike: So, uh, can I ask you the same thing?
T: ...Ask me what?
Spike: About the test. Was it really heads, or did you fix it?
//Twilight looks at me for a short time, not betraying anything. She responds:
T: Would it change anything if I told you? It was a dumb test anyway.
//I suppose that's true.
//From another entrance, a well-manicured pony approaches with a dark blue vest on. He is flanked by two slim mares with heavy eyeshadow and bouncing hair. They look like twins. Twilight disappears again.
Spike: (You're still wearing the displacement cloak.)
T: (Chance favors the cautious.)
//The clothing the two mares are wearing (what little of it, that is) looks odd, it's like they would have been less sexual if they had worn nothing at all...
//Twilight pokes me in the shoulder. My eyes go up.
Vested Pony: Hello, my name is Maurice. The twins are named Lilith and Lilin.
Lilith: Pleasure to meet you~.
//Lilin just winks.
Vested Pony: As a guest of Madam Pinkie--
Spike: (Madam? So they are prostitutes?)
T: ('Call girl' is the preferred nomenclature--)
VP: --I am to lead you to your suite. Lilin and Lilith will take care of any needs you have from there.
Spike: Cool, I get a suite?
VP: Yes. Right this way.
//We leave, the twins walking not uncomfortably close to me.

Spike: Actually, you know, there is something I'd like you two to do for me.
//I'm holding the door open to my suite from the inside. It's huge, with its own mini bar and refrigerator and lavaside view of the mountain. Twilight's entire tree-house could fit in here.
Lilith: We're here to please.
//Lilin gives me a smile. She's very good at making people feel welcome. And other things.
Spike: If you could both stand outside and make sure no one comes in, I'd really appreciate it.
//I close the door and lock it. Twilight reappears as I walk to the center of the room, resting her hooves on the tree growing in the middle.
T: Hah. Not your type?
//I doubt Herr Yyz would be thrilled to hear if I threw myself into the same hedonism Celestia herself told Herr to avoid. Besides, I want to work on something.
Spike: Not nearly crazy enough to be involved in my life. Help me with this, will you?
//I grab one of the (extremely expensive, I'm sure) carpets and drag it to the side of the room, out of the way.
T: With... what, exactly?
Spike: I'm sure these are expensive and I don't want them to get ruined.
T: I thought you didn't like the twins?
Spike: Har har.
//Above us, through the skylight, I see two stars dancing together, curling in around the same center. They smack into one another, and a bright flash is given off.
//I'm sure it's just a show.
Spike: If you really want to know, I'm training.
//Twilight steps off the tree's roots and gives me a look. One of her many looks, actually. I find all of them seem to convey disappointment.
T: Spike, you're badly hurt. You need to rest.
//Evil doesn't wait. I can't either.
Spike: Herr Yyz and Celestia are depending on my strength to bring about a better Equestria. Besides, I can't do anything to myself Rainbow Dash hasn't already tried.
//I want to ask if she always was a crazy bint, but I don't know if the answer matters either way.
T: ...When does Spike start to come first?
//I shrug my shoulders, tossing the last priceless carpet onto the heap in the corner of the room. The floor's marble, it should be fine...
Spike: Oh, sure. I'll just invite the twins back in and spend the rest of my days wallowing in hedonism, completely forgetting about the welfare of anyone else. The Faceless will love that.
//The Coin would have landed on tails, I know it. Others, even people who I don't know, are depending on me... I can't let them down!
T: ...Spike, it can seem noble to give everything you have to others. But nopony can live like that forever. If you keep on trying, one day, it catches up to you, and...
//I test my dragonfire on the invitation Pinkie Pie sent me. Hot enough.
Spike: Speaking from experience?
//Twilight bites her lip, and taps her hoof on the marble three times.
T: In the end, you're the one most responsible for the happiness of you. Maybe there could be one person, in the entire world, who can make you as happy as you can, but even that's...
//I try to remember Rainbow Dash's pose. How she was hovering in the air just before she used that move, where her limbs were moving, where she was looking. But all I can see is her sneer.
//Well, the inside of my eyelids, but you get the point.
Spike: ...A rare event?
//Twilight stays silent, watching what I'm doing.

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls slightly to the left!

//I stop the flame. Only slightly...
T: What are you trying to do?
Spike: Besides figure out why you're lecturing me?
//Twilight moves away from the tree and next to me.
T: Because I'm your friend, Spike. I want you to be happy.
//YEAH THERE'S TOTALLY NO SEXUAL TENSION HERE I'LL JUST BE ON MY FUCKING WAY THEN WITH MY OBVIOUS LIES AND BLATANTLY WRONG JUDGMENTS
Spike: ...Rainbow Dash used a move called Wind Pool. It made the wind spin in a circle around me, closing me in.
//If I could do that with fire, not only would it be stronger, but it would restrict an enemy's movement a lot more.
T: Getting that to work with fire is going to be quite a trick.
Spike: So is finding excuses to assault me, but somehow, I'm confident Rainbow Dash will find a way.

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls slightly to the right!

//Hmm... maybe if I twist my head more... or is it my mouth?
Spike: What should I do with my mouth? Maybe my tongue's not moving right? Help me out, here.
T: Does it look like I breathe fire to you?
//I'm sure she has a spell for that.
//Out on the volcano, dragons and ponies are starting to emerge out of their respective heated pools. Is it almost midnight?
Spike: Guess they're calling it a night.
T: Not likely; skinny dipping hours are about to start.
//...Skinny dipping hours.
//I retake my pose. Maybe it's in the limbs?
Spike: Okay, there's two things wrong with that.

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls slightly upwards!

//No, I think ballooning my chest out cut the length considerably. Darn.
Spike: First, people don't normally wear clothes anyway.
//Twilight chuckles.
T: I'm not saying I understand it either.
Spike: And second, is this seriously a casino and resort based solely on sex? Or is there some actual gambling and entertainment that goes on here?
T: Yes, actually; you just haven't seen that part.
//I must have been distracted by the complete lack of anything that looked like it.
Spike: Maybe if I control my stomach, that could do something...
T: See, Pinkie Pie built Mountainville from the ground up solely as a place where she could live out her fantasies.

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls downwards sharply!
The marble has been scorched!

Spike: Uh...
//I'll cover it with a carpet.
Spike: Word choice?
//Twilight zaps the scorch away with a little magic. The marble remains white.
T: Yes and no. To Pinkie Pie, sex isn't different from anything else she does, so that kind of fantasy is like any other kind. I'm sure you saw that when you talked with her.
//She talked to me, that is.
//Up, down, left, right... I need to figure out a way for it to keep moving, all on its own, no matter which way it goes, never mind gravity or wind or anything.
T: She's always been a party planner, a goofball, a fun-lover, thrill-seeker, risk-taker... here she can be all of those things, and whatever else she wants.
Spike: Pagan fertility goddess.
T: ...
Spike: Well _excuse me_ for pointing out her childbearing hips. And I think she wears them well, so _there_.
//I'm not sure a Fire Pool actually be done, but as a Hero, it'd be useful to find a way... if I don't find a way, no one else will.
T: ...Aside from that... Pinkie Pie's always had a slight problem with empathy. That someone else could feel different ways, and she doesn't catch on unless she's told.
//When did this turn from me wanting to develop a new move to me listening to Twilight complain about her friends?

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls slightly to the left!

//Not even an improvement...
T: It's naive to think a more positive attitude about sex is going to be accepted naturally. Social ideas are unlike empirical phenomena; it actually matters what people believe. Sex is meaningful and carries significance simply because people think it does!
Spike: Except that it makes children. Being irresponsible about that hurts them and others.
//Twilight lowers her ears and looks away, sheepish.
T: Well... there _are_ spells for everything. And you can plan around estrus.
//Oh yeah, ponies have a mating season. Unlike dragons, who have a mating garnish.
Spike: Pinkie Pie thought people should say what they feel, about sex and species relations, and everything would magically be fine. Is there a spell for that?
//She giggles as I flex my chest in and out, trying to work up more dragonfire.
T: No, spells can't change a person's mind. Not directly, at least.

The Drakeling breathes fire!
The dragonfire curls slightly to the left!

//Wait, 'spells can't change a person's mind'? I've been hit with a charm spell...
T: But it's possible to change how society thinks if you're patient enough. As a leader, there's a window of acceptable ideas for you to have. Celestia talked about it in her journals... if you stay just outside that window, and keep yourself there as it moves, you can drag public opinion as far as you want.
//I breathe in and out. My throat is getting sore from so much dragonfire...
Spike: Seems like you could jump far out there, and force conversation to start up halfway just for people to respond to you.
//Walking to my side, Twilight shakes her head.
T: Spike, you've seen how ponies respond to dragons in Equestria. A rapidly changing status quo won't bring about understanding and harmony! It'll cause revolution!
//Twilight's eartip is folded in the wrong direction. I fix it for her.
Spike: Maybe that's what we need.
//Thousands of people will suffer as Hazel slowly shifts public opinion, choosing to delay justice in order to remain in power? How is that acceptable?!
\\Why are you assuming Hazel feels this way? Just because Twilight said it?
//...
T: ...Do you really believe so, Spike?
//I shrug.
T: ...Living inside the law is comfortable. Work towards harmony and peace happens over time. You can't force chaos on people and throw away their stable lives, even if that's what you choose for yourself.
Spike: What, so instead of fighting for justice I should go back to the marriage in which I was presumably so happy that you decided not to mention it to me?
//She was about to tell Rarity to 'shove it up her widowed ass' back in the Snaffler.
//Silence.
Spike: So?
T: ...Things like that need a lot of care.
Spike: Uh, how much time have you spent around me? A 'by the way you boned' would have sufficed.
//Huh. If I kill Hazel and get my memories back, would I be bound as a drakeling to Rarity again?
Spike: I mean, are we still married? Not even from an emotional perspective, but legally, that's relevant information. Which you haven't mentioned at all. Again, lies of omission.
//Even if, looking back, Rarity seems not to have gotten over it as rapidly. Then again, I don't have any happy memories to linger on...
T: Spike, I...
//CLICK.

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Lake of Fire!
Bouts of flame coat the ground!
//Roaring flames leap out of my mouth and stick to the marble like glue, creating a pool in front of me!

Spike: Agh...
//I hold my head.
//What did you do?
//I TURNED ON THE PART IN YOUR HEAD WHERE YOU WOULD GET HOW THIS MOVE WORKS. BECAUSE THE ONLY THING MORE STUPID THAN YOUR ASS IS THIS CONVERSATION.
T: Wow, Spike! How do you put them out?
//LIKE THIS

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and dismisses the fires!
//The fires fade away, leaving not even smoke. The marble is unharmed.

T: ...Wow.
//You, you, you can't just muck about with my head like that, it's dangerous, it's...
//I GIVE AS MANY SHITS ABOUT YOUR OPINION AS YOU DO FOR THOSE YOU HURT
Spike: Agh, damnit, get out of my head...
//I sit down on the floor.
//Twilight looks me over, finding nothing, and puts her forehead against mine.
T: (Is it the dragon instinct again?)
Spike: (I hear him every day of my life.)
//AND I'M WHAT KEEPS IT RUNNING FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT MOST OF THE FUCKING TIME
//Twilight smiles. Somehow, I know if she could take any of the burden on herself, she would do it without hesitating.
T: Come on. Get some sleep. You'll see someone better in your dreams, I'm sure.
//...I actually haven't seen Celestia for a few days. Last time was, when, the buffalo incident?
//Still, sleep sounds really good right now.
//I stand up and start walking to the bedroom.
T: I call the second bed; there's someone in Mountainville I want to meet tomorrow.
Spike: Can't you teleport to Canterlot for the night?
T: I try not to waste magic like that. It's habit-forming.
//I open the door to the bedroom and count the beds.
Spike: So, uh, you're going to be disappointed.
//The beds in Mountainville look exquisite, softer than a cloud with more than enough room to stretch out and carved out of oak (I think) and covered with sheets of dark red silk and there's only one of them in this room.
T: What?
//Twilight trots over and sticks her head past me, looking in.
Spike: Sorry. Looks like you're going to have to find somewhere else.
T: You've got to be joking.
Spike: Honestly, given this place's atmosphere, any more than one bed would be weird.
T: I can't go back to Canterlot tonight; I have to numerically solve the absolute worst PDEs tomorrow and I'm not doing that by hoof!
Spike: What are you doing tomorrow?
T: Waking up in this bed, for starters.
//She walks into the room. I follow her.
Spike: Uh, no, sorry. Don't invite yourself to my things, Twilight.
T: Is there another bed in this suite?
//Let me think...
Spike: There was... the main room, the balcony, the kitchen, the game room, the lounge, the library, six bathrooms, a room that can only be described as a dungeon, uh...
//Unless Twilight plans on sleeping on the swing in the dungeon, there's not really anything else.
Spike: If you get some pillows from the lounge the floor here isn't too uncomfortable.
//Snorting, she lifts a hoof and looks down.
T: The floor. Do you know what the floor's like?
Spike: Is it any better than the sheets?
T: They change those.
//I start rubbing my forehead. Is this really that big of a deal?
Spike: Can't you just ask Pinkie Pie for another room?
T: Yes, that will certainly maintain the low profile I'm looking to keep. Ask the eccentric casino owner for a private room because I'm close friends with her. Any other clever ideas?
//Besides you leaving me alone and finding a solution to your own problem?
Spike: You buggering off? This is my bed to sleep in.
//It's late and I want to go to sleep.
//Twilight groans and folds her ears back.
T: I'm not going to like this any more than you will, but if you're going to be like that we'll just have to share the bed.
//No, we're not going to do that.
Spike: Twilight, there is no way in hell I am sharing this bed with you.

//Past midnight. I haven't slept a wink. Why are mountains this cold at night?!
Spike: Quit hogging the sheets!
T: It's freezing in here!
//Then I'll light your ass on fire!
//Twilight is on the other part of the bed, with at least twelve sheets wrapped around her. I'm a dragoncicle with less than one.
Spike: So I need some too!
T: You have fire literally churning in most of your torso!
Spike: I used most of it today.
T: I'm small, so I need more covers than you do!
Spike: Then how are you taking up so much space?!
//I'm pushed to a one-fourth corner of the bed by Twilight's cocoon of sheets, barely able to stay on at all.
T: Wha-- are you calling me fat?!
//Great. This is exactly what I need right now.
T: Because I think you're calling me fat!
Spike: Fine! Roll your larval, fat ass over and make me some room!
//I roll Twilight over like a log, and reclaim some of the bed. If I curl into a ball, I might be able to retain some body heat.
T: Hey!-- Don't do that! I almost fell off!
//How?!
Spike: Why did I agree to this again?
//Twilight sighs.
T: I'm going to try to get some sleep.
//What the hell else were you supposed to be doing?!

//In my dream (someone dark in starry armor, nothing important) I hear three knocks, and that rouses me.
Spike: Blurb, what...
//Twilight snores in response.
//I'm curled up on one of the pillows while Twilight is sprawled out across the entire bed, despite the fact I'm larger than her. Carefully, I extract my tail out from under her hoof and slink out of the room.
T: Hhhhhoocccck...
//Damn she snores loud.
//Walking past the haphazard pile of priceless rugs, I notice the door is unlocked and my bag and cloak right next to it are in a different position than I left them.
Spike: Hmm...
//I did lock it, right? Unless Twilight left for some reason, that means...
\\...I don't feel or see anyone around me, but the ambient casino lights don't exactly flood the room.

The Drakeling breathes in and focuses, casting Terrae Corpus! The Drakeling's scales become as hard as rock!

Noise Muffled: Uh, hello?
//Three more knocks come from the door, louder. I say nothing.

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//I look around quickly, seeing nothing, and bolt towards the door to wrench it open.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Oh! It's--
Spike: Na-Mira!
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.
//Na-Mira flinches as the wave of air from the door hits her. She blinks and shakes her head.
Na-Mira: What was--
//I interrupt her with a hug. She's still so cold...
N-M: Hck, it is you! Finally!
//Na-Mira hugs me back. Her fangs bang awkwardly into my collarbone.
Spike: 'Finally'?
N-M: I thought you came here, so I had to check. And now I've found you, hihihi!
Spike: Hold on. Did you go suite by suite knocking on doors until I answered?
//She opens her mouth for a half-second, looks behind her and to the left, and says a little quieter:
N-M: We might want to make this quick.
Spike: Why did you think that would--
//Na-Mira puts a hoof on my face and continues:
N-M: I did some digging about Rainbow Dash's past like you asked, hck.
Spike: Oh, what'd you find?
N-M: Before the disappearance, Rainbow Dash was just another pegasus. She was kicked out of flight school despite being an amazing flier, and settled for weather control in Ponyville.
//Kicked out? Flight school? Weather control? There's so much I want to ask.
N-M: (Rumors say she was kind of a braggart.)
Spike: Rainbow Dash? Never.
N-M: She used the Element of Loyalty to defeat an enemy of the crown alongside Twilight Sparkle. When the disappearance happened she became an Avatar, for helping banish the goddess of the night.
Spike: Fluttershy?
//Na-Mira wiggles her fangs after a second.
N-M: Silly boy, it was Nightmare Moon! Don't you know it's Nightmare Night tonight?
//Uh, no? Why should I care about any holidays besides those celebrating Celestia?
N-M: A few months afterwards, she opened a dojo in the greater Gloucester region, but what's really interesting is what happened before then...
Spike: What was that? Did it have something to do with the northlands?
N-M: Yes, hihi! This is the part I really had to do the digging for! The rest was all publicly available information that I'm surprised you didn't know.
//Celestia, how many times...
Spike: Na-Mira, I lost my memory.
N-M: Hck? You did?
//Silly fanged bint...
N-M: Oh. Sorry, forgot. Anyway, some say the Avatar of Speed was present at the Fall of the Crystal Empire!
Spike: The Fall of the what now?
//Crystal Empire? Have I heard that before?
//YEAH WHEN YOU ALMOST MADE TWILIGHT CRY IN LONGBRIDGE
//You ass, that was you!
N-M: The Crystal Empire! It was a legendary city in the frozen north, whose tranquility was magically protected by the faith and love of the Crystal ponies. It burned to the ground.
Spike: But the rest of the Empire was okay?
N-M: ...The Crystal Empire was the city.
Spike: That's -- what?
//Na-Mira shrugs.
N-M: It's gone now, either way. There were no survivors.
//So, she's saying... I made fun of Twilight for the death of thousands of people. Who could have all been protected if they loved and believed in her more.
//HOW HAS SHE NOT ABANDONED YOU LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BY NOW
//You are a sick twisted jerk and I hate you.
N-M: After the disappearance, the Thirty sieged it, and the city fell. Officially, no Equestrian troops were involved, but sealed diplomatic records show one Princess Twilight Sparkle, 'the fastest flying pegasus of Equestria', and Canterlot Castle's head of the guard all trying to end the siege before the barriers fell.
//The dragon instinct called Rainbow Dash a coward, she must have run away... and all on her lonesome, Twilight couldn't do much against a full army of -- wait, what are the Thirty?
Spike: Do you know what the Thirty are?
N-M: Nope! I'm looking into it.
//Darn. It would be nice to know what could possibly threaten Twilight, even if it was one and a half years ago.
Spike: Oh, okay. There's something else I'd like you to look into.
//Those griffins made me very suspicious, there's obviously something more to what they're doing than just trying to abduct a drakeling...
N-M: Hck, what is it?
//I walk over to my bag and start rifling through it.
Spike: I fought griffins just... today, yesterday, something -- they had red badges that looked like a helmet on them, and acted like a military unit... it's in here, somewhere.
//I stick my head entirely in the bag, because nothing's where I left it. The Real Princess Hazel threatens me with a papercut. It smells like pony...
N-M: Hihihi, you won't find it like that.
Spike: It can't be...
//The badge is gone. I check over my cloak, where I hid it, but it's not there either. I swear, I checked it before going to bed...
Spike: Anyway, I want you to check them out. Oh, and find out something about the Thirty if you can, too. Can you do that?
//Na-Mira salutes with her hoof, fangs wiggling proudly!
N-M: I haven't let down Sir Hero Spike yet and I don't plan on it! To hck and back I will go!
Spike: Well, just be careful. I don't want you...
//Spotting something out in the hallway, I stop talking.
N-M: ...Spike?
//Putting on the displacement cape and bag, I step past Na-Mira and out into the hallway, greeted by the limp bodies of Lilin and Lilith. I shake each of them. They're not sleeping...
Spike: (Did you do this?)
N-M: (Are they dead?)
//I glance both ways. No one else is here in the hallway.
Spike: (Just unconscious. Why did you knock them out?)
N-M: (I didn't! They were like this when I got here!)
//...Na-Mira would be the person to overlook something like that.
Spike: (Are you sure?)
N-M: (Yes! I wouldn't lie to you!)
//Door unlocked in the middle of the night, bag unsettled, badge gone, guards knocked out... I don't like this one bit.
Spike: (...So. I need to leave. Strange things have been happening, and it means someone is paying far too much attention to me.)
N-M: (Hck, guess I'll leave too.)
//Oh, right, Twilight's still in there.
Spike: (Oh, can you go and wake up Twilight? She's in the bedroom on the right.)
//Na-Mira shakes her head.
N-M: (I'll take my chances gargling magma, thank you very much.)
//You know what? Twilight's scarier than anything in this resort. Let's get going.
Spike: (Right. She should be fine. See you later, Na-Mira.)
//She trots off, holding her head low and looking around. Maybe I should have given her the displacement cape if she's going to look that suspicious...
//From around the other corner come approaching footsteps!
Spike: (Oh, great, here we go...)
//Lilin and Lilith on the floor, the door's wide open, Na-Mira slowly slinking away... there's no hiding for me. But I can get the element of surprise.

The Drakeling draws power from within himself, and casts Walk of the Third!
//I close the door and sneak a little ways towards the corner. The footsteps draw closer now, echoing louder but lower in the Walk's effect as I wait...
The Drakeling's Walk of the Third ends.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

The masked pony leaps out from behind the corner!
The masked pony gestures wickedly at The Drakeling!

???: Boo!
Spike: Pinkie Pie?
//She stands up straighter and pouts, behind the mask.
Pinkie Pie: Aww. I didn't scare you?
//...Nightmare Night. Right. I stand up from crouching.
Spike: A bright pink pony with a small dragon mask is not disguised, Pinkie Pie.
//She shifts the mask up with a hoof, shaking her head.
PP: You're grouchy at three in the morning. It's Nightmare Night! You should be having some fun! Be scared!
//I shoulder the bag again, gesturing towards Lilin and Lilith.
Spike: Heroes don't have fun. Not when that happens to the ponies around them.
//She pauses for a moment, inspecting the two from far away.
PP: (I'll call someone for that.)
Spike: So, what are you doing here? Besides waking people up by shouting?
//I haven't seen Pinkie Pie in combat, but she's an Avatar, and I'm not a shabby Hero myself... if we stick together, no matter what's in the resort we should be okay.
PP: There was a complaint about a door-knocker, but we may have a teensy bit bigger problem than that...
Spike: Yeah. Something was also stolen from me tonight.
//Pinkie Pie tenses up.
PP: Oh, no! Are you okay? Is Twilight...?
//How could anything in the world threaten... wow, did I phrase that poorly.
Spike: It was a badge, just something I picked up along my journey.
//With a shrug, the tension slips away.
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha, I thought you meant -- of course, I'll have my head of security look into it.
Spike: Sure. Could you point me to the exit? I need to get going.
//Herr Yyz is probably waiting on me, wondering why I'm so late... but at least I can tell her I have two Elements now.
PP: Honestly? No. It's best if you just follow me.
//...What? How does that make sense?
Spike: Uh, Pinkie--
PP: It's kind of a big resort, but I find that if I just start walking, I always end up where I need to be! Weird, huh?
//I'm sure it has nothing to do with being the Avatar of Luck.
PP: So come on! As a host, I have to see you out!
Spike: Oh, all right...
//At the very least, Pinkie Pie's amusements will keep me awake. I start walking with her.

//On a walkway above the bright casino lights and slot machines. There are quite a few patrons below, enjoying themselves by gambling into the night. The serverponies are wearing costumes without masks; some patrons wear masks that are artistic but not scary. Security is, of course, nowhere in sight but always close by.
PP: And I said, 'bonemeal? Are you craz--'
Spike: So, getting back to my question.
PP: What was that again?
//I roll my eyes.
Spike: Why did you build Mountainville on top of an active volcano? If it erupts you've lost everything, never mind that there are more convenient places for a casino and resort.
//Pinkie Pie looks over the railing for a few seconds, putting her front hooves on it. Below, a tired gambler pulls the slot lever once more. His machine starts ringing and spewing coins.
PP: Hehehaha *snort* hehehaha!
Spike: So?
//We keep walking.
PP: I'm afraid I can't answer that. Twilight chose where to build Mountainville, not me!
Spike: She did? How? What for?
//Suddenly deadly serious, Pinkie Pie looks behind and in front of us. She also looks ways and directions that a normal person would be neither able nor inclined to look, searching for eavesdroppers. She then whispers to me:
PP: (Spike. Can you keep a secret?)
Spike: Things are really loud down there, you don't need to--
PP: (Can you?!)
//Is it really that important? I asked to continue a conversation, not to get to the bottom of anything.
Spike: (Sure.)
PP: (You have to Pinkie Promise -- if you ever ever ever _ever_ tell, I _will_ find out, and -- ooooooohh, you don't want to break a Pinkie Promise!!)
Spike: (Why not?)
//What is she going to do, break my little fingers?
PP: (If you don't tell, then you never ever have to find out.)
Spike: (_So_ unconcerned with whatever this secret is anyway.)
PP: (Do you Pinkie Promise to never ever tell?)
Spike: (Yeah, I do.)
//After checking around once more, Pinkie Pie whispers in my ear:
PP: (This volcano is one of the few places in Equestria, other than near ponies's skin, where magic is in the air) hey, what are you doing?
//I dig a claw in my ear to scratch it.
Spike: Sorry, your nose tickles.
//Pinkie Pie giggles.
Spike: What do you mean, 'in the air'?
PP: (Something with long words and ambient free magic and harnessing and so on. It's oobly-woobly sciencey stuff, but even if we can't use it we _can_ put it uniquely into coinage and track where it goes in the planet's magnetic field.)
Spike: (Really?!)
PP: (Yep-per-oonie! Every coin you've ever handled and in circulation right now is tracking its own movement with thaumomagnetic interference, telling us where you are, what you've bought, where you got it--)
Spike: (...That sounds like some of Twilight's verbiage.)
PP: (Hehehaha, does it look like I do magic?)
Spike: (So, you're saying Mountainville is some sort of... experiment?)
PP: (Way beyond that! It's past the experimental stage; it's working! We're the biggest data collection facility in all of Equestria!)
//The idea is both awe-inspiring and immensely terrifying. To be able to perfectly track millions of coins at any given time, resulting in that much information about every one who carried it and every thing that was bought with it... this is unprecedented.
Spike: (Is anything else done with all this magic?)
PP: (Nope! It's unexpendable. You can look, but not touch!)
Spike: I suppose it's good to know Twilight can't blow up the world accidentally.
//We round a corner and step off the walkway, moving into what I suppose is a break room with yellow/blue tile floor. Staff of various persuasions are sitting and having coffee, or reading or taking a nap. Only one or two nod to us walking in; the rest continue whatever they were doing.
//One pony is practicing juggling with salt packets when he thinks nobody's looking, but I see him.
PP: That's why she's meeting with one of my researchers tomorrow, like she told you!
//Suppose that makes... wait.
Spike: Uh, Pinkie Pie, she told me that in the suite. When we were alone.
//A coy smile from a person who I am quickly learning is not as naive as she puts on.
PP: You honestly think I don't have this whole place bugged up and down? I did say 'biggest data collection facility in all of Equestria'!
//Not only every coin that comes in and comes out, but every conversation that goes on between anyone here...
Spike: That's a huge invasion of privacy; you shouldn't have listened in on us.
PP: And miss the most dramatic burgeoning romance in all of forever-dom between two of my bestest friends?! No way!!
Spike: Uh, no. There's no romance. Nothing's happening.
//Pinkie Pie rolls her eyes and walks out of the break room.
PP: Yeah, boys always think that.
Spike: What's that suppo-- hey wait up!
//I jump through the closing door and somehow find myself outside on a balcony, next to Pinkie Pie, watching the sun rise. It's dawn already?
PP: No matter what you think about it, you shouldn't give Twilight such a hard time. She deals with a lot already; as your friend you should try to support her.
//Hard time? Like, say, omitting vitally important information and trying to mold my life to fit her own plans?
Spike: 'Deals with'? She's not even a Princess anymore. Everyone thinks she's dead. What does she _actually_ have to deal with?!
//While Twilight obviously helps in some significant manner with the organization of Equestria, I'm hoping to sound ignorant enough to get a revealing response out of Pinkie Pie.
//Pinkie Pie narrows her eyes at me, opening her mouth in a half-shocked, half-incredulous kind of way. She then thinks about her words.
//Damn.
PP: Maybe it _looks_ easy to you, on the outside, but we're not gears in a clock turning in our little positions, you know! If it weren't for the seven of us working to the bone each and every day, who knows where Equestria would be right now?!
Spike: Uh, still here? It's a geographical area; those don't move.
\\'The seven of us', there are five Avatars and Twilight, who's the seventh...
PP: The world is held together with shoestring and gum half the time! There's no, 'we'll make it, somehow, some way, if we try' -- civilizational collapse is never more than one ill-timed breakdown away!
Spike: You're leaders, and you let your emotional state rule you like that?
//There needs to be a better way. Or better people.
//THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
//Pinkie Pie's tone grows a little softer.
PP: ...We're not leaders so much as we are people who madly scramble each day to keep it together, both ourselves and everybody else. Me, I try not to let anyone else worry about me, and I try to make them happy when I can, to keep them a little further from breaking. So long as my friends aren't happy, I'm not happy.
//The jester is the one who cries most on the inside. But the task of running an entire nation, when it was taken care of in the past entirely by one perfect person... it would destroy anyone but the strongest.
//T: ...Spike, it can seem noble to give everything you have to others. But nopony can live like that forever. If you keep on trying, one day, it catches up to you, and...
PP: But then you add this one thing, this one crazy, totally uncontrollable thing, and, and...
//She flops to the ground, dramatically illustrating her point.
PP: ...People _do_ have a snapping point. I can't help them all with everything. I just...
Spike: You're going to have to sum this up for me because I'm working off less than three hours' sleep.
//Thanks, Twilight.
PP: ...I can't make you help if you don't want to. But I don't want you to be the one thing, the crazy thing. Know what I mean?
//...She's worried about me. Both for me, and for her friends. It's kind of sweet.
//LIKE SUGARED POISON.
Spike: ...I'll try not to give Twilight such a hard time.
PP: Thanks. Spike, I really appreciate it.
//The sun rising over the horizon hits my face for the first time, and I turn away from it.
Spike: So what was that about an exit?
PP: Oh, Launa here should be able to teleport you to Canterlot.
//A plain unicorn walks onto the balcony from another entrance, followed by four stallions, who are carrying on their shoulders a featherbed with silk curtains, pillows inside, gems and gold and jewelry sprinkled about on it...
PP: I'm glad you understand I'm doing this for my friends' sakes. There are times and places for fun and games, Spike, but we can never ignore the happiness of others to live only for ourselves.
//Two muscular, oiled stallions lift Pinkie Pie up above their heads and place her on the raised featherbed.
PP: I mean, we can't live in a fantasy world.
//...Right.
Spike: I understand. I'll be sure to take that with me to Canterlot.
Launa: Canterlot?
Spike: Yeah, I'm--

The unicorn speaks words of power, forming symbols in the air!
The Drakeling is Teleported!
Spike: Woah!--
//What?! I didn't even get to say goodbye!
//...

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//When in Canterlot, I decide to go straight to Herr Yyz, displacement cape on. Twilight appears as I'm nodding off in a carriage. By raw reflex I grab her and throw her out of it as we're moving. The rest of the morning is spent apologizing over brunch.

//The Faceless rent office space in a modern tower near the outskirts of Canterlot. It's a horridly modern affair, all steel and glass and unrelenting functionality, with zero concessions to the eye or artistic expression. Located in one of the less reputable Canterlot districts (though this would be akin to saying 'the least skilled person in a room of world champions'), the gray slab rising out of the earth oversees the shorter buildings in the area. There are other places for marble and gold; here, stone-faced business is conducted.
//They rent office space as high as possible, as a reminder of how far they've risen since their old lives.
Unicorn Secretary: Yes, how may I help you?
Spike: Uh... is Herr Yyz in? Floor 67, Celestia's--
US: Faceless, yes. Should I give them your name, or are you here on official business?
//...Right, elimination of identity. Glad I'm still wearing the displacement cape.
Spike: Herr should be expecting me.
US: Of course. Hold on a second.
//She pulls out a device from under the desk, uncoils a strange tube, and starts speaking into it.
US: Floor 67? This is Shinra, first floor. There's a person here to see you.
Spike: (Is she talking to someone?)
T: (It's basically two cans on a string, so yes.)
//Something corrupted and unintelligible comes back out of the device. It sounds nothing like words.
US: Of course; I'll send him right up.
//She puts the device away. It sounds like they were expecting me, that's good...
US: You're cleared to go. Just show your keycard on the dumbwaiter and they'll start pulling you up.
Spike: ...Isn't there an elevator?
//The secretary laughs a fake laugh.
US: No, sorry; building codes prevent magically-assisted construction in this sector. Do you have your keycard?
//...Keycard?
Spike: I haven't a clue if I should.
//Rolling your eyes at me doesn't help with either my conundrum or your pleasantness, lady.
//She holds out a keycard with her picture on it, saying:
US: If you promise to give it back I'll let you borrow mine.
Spike: Thank you, I'll return it as soon as I'm done.
//Why is this person taking up so much of my time.
//ON YOUR WAY OUT YOU SHOULD SET HER ON FIRE
//Yeah, that's an appropriate response to mild annoyance.
//Twilight and I step on the dumbwaiter. I flash my keycard to a waiting veiled pony, who signals to someone at the top, and then leaves.
T: So--
Spike: Uh, you should probably float.
T: Huh?
Spike: It'd look really suspicious if I was somehow twice the weight I should be.
//Twilight considers it for a moment, then jumps into the air right before the Faceless start pulling. Sixty-seven floors is a long way up...
T: So, what do you think this little chat is going to be like?
Spike: Personal and between me and Yyz?
//Twilight just laughs.
Spike: I think we're going to figure out a way to use my power, and what I've done so far, to spread admiration for Celestia and the Faceless dedicated to her.
//A short snort punctuates Twilight's amusement.
T: That's very specific; I can tell you're quite the go-getter.
Spike: I've defeated Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy for their Elements of Harmony, but those weren't visible. Kezno, Celel, and Jebed are the only ones who know about Kindness, but they supported me before that.
//That's not to say saving the life of an innocent drakeling wasn't worth it, but it was a private affair...
Spike: And you're the only one who knows about Laughter.
//There's silence in the dumbwaiter as we're pulled another few stories up.
T: You don't think I support you?
//Honestly? No. If Twilight wanted Hazel off the throne, Hazel would be off the throne.
Spike: It's not that, Twilight.
T: Then?
Spike: ...Trying to change your mind would be like trying to stop a freight train with my teeth. You'll do whatever you want, so I don't count you on the list of people I can influence.
//Though she's invisible and I can't see it, I can almost feel Twilight pout.
T: Am I really that bad?
//I shrug.
//She can be very stubborn at times. Then again, I can't remember a time when Twilight's been flat-out wrong...
//YOU MEAN, BESIDES ALL THE FUCKING LIES?
//Ugh, great, not now.
//TRUST ME I'M FUCKING OUT OF HERE. NO WAY IN SHIT LAKE AM I HANGING AROUND WITH THREE GODDESS-FREAKS. MAYBE I'LL GET ASCALON TO TRAMPLE OVER MORE GRAVES, THAT MIGHT AMUSE ME FOR A WHILE.
//I fold my arms. This is taking entirely too long.
Spike: I think it'll be a great conversation, though. I didn't get to talk too much with Herr before; now we'll really be able to hash out something concrete.
//Quine is one of the oldest and wisest dragons alive; whether or not he's working towards the quickest solution to the Aquinatic Conflict, he certainly didn't steer me wrong. And not only are Herr Yyz and Twilight going to help, but Celestia is watching over all of us. With this sort of guidance, how could I possibly go wrong?
T: I'm glad you're finally doing something _you_ really want, instead of someone else directing you.
//...Does she need to dig at me like that?
//We've reached the top of the dumbwaiter. I step off, nod to a few veiled ponies, and walk past waiting guards.
//Herr Yyz is standing at the end of a long room. The far wall is entirely glass, overlooking this sector of Canterlot with an appreciable view of Canterlot Castle. The side walls and the wall behind me are covered with mirrors. Not that they _are_ mirrors. They're covered with mirrors. Like, bathroom, framed mirrors are nailed to the wall every -- oh what does it matter?!
T: (Still with the mask?)
Spike: (Hush.)
//We walk in.
//Herr Yyz still has a black cloth covering her cutie mark on both sides. It blends in with her fur.
Spike: Hello.
//She turns around. Upon seeing my vague blur, the mask's eyebrows rise.
Herr Yyz: Ah. Hero, is that you?
Spike: I'm certainly not a baker.

The Drakeling takes off the displacement cape.

//I take off the displacement cape and hold it in my arms. The Faceless's gift to me has been very useful for all this time.
Spike: Thank you so much for the cape. It really saved my tail a few times.
//In addition to flustering Rainbow Dash, which itself is worth its weight in gold.
HY: Think not of it.
Spike: Uh... okay.
HY: I asked you to return after curing your dying curse. You also were to defeat the Avatar of Temptation and earn Kindness.
Spike: Yep, that's all taken care of. I also did a little more, which... explains why I'm late.
//Unable to find something to say, Herr Yyz nods. I continue:
Spike: I was... waylaid by griffons on the train back. So--
HY: 'Waylaid' being one word.
Spike: Wh-- ...yes. So I escaped, went to Mountainville, and earned Laughter from the Avatar of Luck.
//From Herr Yyz comes an impressed smile. It's a crescent moon against a backdrop of starless night sky.
HY: You saved your own life, the life of another. You earned two Elements in nearly as many days.
//...I mean, it wasn't easy.
HY: You come to me for advice. I should come to you.
Spike: Well...
//I did tell Herr Yyz about my desire to lessen the power of Hazel, and to help dragonkind become equals, but maybe I should stress how important that is...
//CONSIDERING YOU'RE USING HER SHITTY LIFE'S WORK FOR YOUR OWN PUSSY-CHASING ENDS? NAH, JUST KEEP LYING TO THE BITCH. YOU HAVE TWO GOOD EXAMPLES OF THAT, AFTER ALL.
Spike: I wanted to talk about my future as a Hero. You know, being the face of the Faceless (but not, because we're the Faceless), getting the rest of the Elements but still finding time to do good deeds. Bringing harmony between all peoples of Equestria. And so on.
//After thinking for a moment, Herr Yyz shakes her head.
HY: Yes. That will not be necessary.
//Hold on. What?
Spike: I'm sorry?
//Did she mean the talking part, or the doing part?
HY: I said that will not be necessary. You said to me when we first spoke that Celestia told you to overthrow Princess Hazel.
Spike: Uh... yeah.
//Celestia told me to kill her, but I don't think I've told anyone that. Regicide is a little different than usurping.
//THOUGH BOTH ARE TREASON, SO WHY ARE YOU WORRYING?
//'It's only treason, why worry' he says...
HY: I have prayed much since then. And circumstances have changed. A Hero of such old ways of thinking is not needed at this time.
T: (Somepony is finally talking sense here.)
//...Why not? A Hero could solve everything, if they were strong enough...
Spike: What do you mean?
//Herr Yyz looks a while at me. She gestures to the guards waiting outside, and they step in the room.
T: (Never mind.)
Spike: (I'm sure it's ceremonial.)
HY: Membership in Celestia's Faceless is voluntary. But before I tell you any more, I need to have assurance that you are dedicated to us. This information is sensitive.
Spike: (Should also ask for my invisible friend to leave.)
T: (You're not going to throw me out this time?)
Spike: (...I said I was sorry.)
//Dedicate myself to the Faceless... They don't seem like ill-meaning people. But this is really something else going on right now, and I don't know if I'm willing to give up being a Hero. Still, I could always hear Herr Yyz out, and then decide...
HY: It's okay if you decide to leave. I will understand. Asking you to take these words with you to the grave is not easy on me either. All I need is your assurance that you are trustworthy, and loyal to us.
//I don't have the Elements of Honesty and Loyalty yet; how would I know?
HY: Are you?

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

>>SWEAR TO FACELESS
>>DON'T SWEAR TO FACELESS

Spike: ...
//Will this really work?
Spike: I am sworn to Celestia in heart and mind. If you follow her, then we walk the same path.
//She can interpret that however she wants.
//YOU'RE SO MUCH OF A COWARD YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING DECISION ON YOUR OWN, HANDING IT OFF TO ONE OF YOUR TO-BE DICKHANDLERS. YOU SICKEN ME MORE THAN RAINBOW DASH DOES, BUT THAT MIGHT JUST BE YOUR LUST FOR GODDESS-HOLE LEAKING OVER.
//After a long period of deliberation, Herr Yyz smiles.
HY: I knew you were trustable. Close the doors.
//Behind me, the guards close the doors, and Herr Yyz begins to speak softer. For a given definition of softer. She still sounds like a haughty yuppie.
HY: The punchline at the end is, I want to destroy Equestria.