//This was a terrible idea.

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

RBD: See, kid, there's a difference between being brave and being stupid.

Rainbow Dash throws the -cobblestone stone- at The Drakeling! The spinning -cobblestone stone- strikes The Drakeling in the left elbow, but the attack glances away!

Spike: Is that all you--

Rainbow Dash charges at The Drakeling!
Rainbow Dash strikes The Drakeling in the upper body with her left wing, bruising the muscle, bruising the right false rib and bruising the right lung!
Rainbow Dash collides with The Drakeling! Rainbow Dash bounces backwards!

Spike: --ooof...
RBD: The difference is power. I have it. And you don't. Rather sturdy, though, you been working on that?
Spike: Hooo...
RBD: Tell you what, if you stand up again, I'll let you try to hit me. Not that it'll work, but that way you can tell all your dragon friends it was actually a fight, when you go back. If.
//Stand up, stand up, are you going to collapse off of one hit? What kind of dragon are you?
RBD: Means you'll get hit again, though, so I won't blame you for staying down.
Spike: Ahhh...
RBD: Heh-heh, we've got ourselves a trooper! Good on you, kid, don't let your vast inferiority get you down. Here, hit me.

//Use your legs and arms independent of each other... bounce around the battlefield... just one good strike at the spine... STRIKE!

The Drakeling strikes at Rainbow Dash in the upper body with his Dashing Rogue Punch, but the attack is batted away by Rainbow Dash's right wing!

RBD: Okay, stop.

Rainbow Dash nuzzles The Drakeling in the nose with her fuzzy snout!

RBD: That punch. Who taught you that punch?
Spike: Aaaahh!

Spike scrambles away!

RBD: Oh, it's okay. It can only be one of two people, but I'm sure I can get you to scream her name before I'm done...

Rainbow Dash kicks The Drakeling in the lower body with her left front leg, bruising the scale and bruising the guts! The Drakeling gives into pain! The Drakeling collapses!

RBD: I'll tell you what. If you give me her name, I'm not saying it won't happen, but I might consider you at some point in it.
//Oh, well isn't that nice.
RBD: To the victor go the spoils...
//Rainbow Dash steps over me and grins like a hyena.
//A loud cough comes from down the street, beyond my head. Rainbow Dash looks up, and then leaps into the air.
RBD: Twilight Sparkle! What are you doing here, heh-heh...
T: To tell the truth, Dash, I was planning on visiting the Forlegsandria library, but imagine my surprise when my path is blocked by _several thousand pounds of bruised dragon_.
RBD: Oh, heh-heh, was that me? That was me, sorry. Let me get right on that for you...
T: Are you sure you haven't done enough for the day?
RBD: It's no problem, Twi. You don't come by that often anyway. Sorry for the mess, I am working on cleaning it up--
T: Don't. And while you're at it, say hi to Spike.
//After a moment, Rainbow Dash's head appears upside down above me, curiously looking.
RBD: Spike! Hey, man, didn't even recognize you there! Wow, that could have been awkward. What are you up to these days? Sorry about all this, then. Just a crazy misunderstanding, eh? Heh-heh...

Rainbow Dash was defeated! (?)
Spike earned 25 experience points!
Spike is now level 3!
//Crazy rainbow bint!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//The tour of the Forlegsandria library is as dry as the scrolls and books themselves. Twilight Sparkle follows along eagerly, taking in every word. I have no idea what I'm looking at with most of the exhibits, but my mind is on other things.
Spike: (No, I think 'what the hell was that' is a perfectly good question to sum up what I want to know right now.)
T: (Well _that_ was the Rosesetta stone, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because a certain dragon kept on talking about unimportant stuff while I was trying to listen.)
Spike: (Not that, I mean what happened in the dragon district today.)
T: (Are you still going on about that? Let the past be the past, Spike; let it go.)
Spike: (It was twenty minutes ago.)
T: (Ancient history!)
Tour Guide: Here we see the Qyorum Scrolls, written long before 1000 years ago, sent between nobles of the rivaling Yorum tribes as belligerent positioning before the outbreak of inter-tribe warfare. The first scroll reads: 'Though you may have defeated...
T: ('...my tribe savior through your cunning and guile and speed of hand, I challenge you again for the title of...')
Tour Guide: '...my tribe savior through your cunning and guile and speed of hand, I challenge you again for the title of...'
Spike: (Cool, really. How did you know something was going on in the dragon district?)
T: (Magic.)
Spike: (You were sniffing about before you said something.)
T: (Magic nose.)
Spike: (...)
T: (People who have to deal with Rainbow Dash make a habit of knowing where she is at all times, and a magic nose is one of the ways I do it.)
Tour Guide: And to your left, you'll see the famous picture 'Equestrian Progress', showing the establishment of the City on the Hill Canterlot by the ex-Princess Celestia slightly over a thousand years ago.
T: (Uh, seven hundred years ago. Kind of disappointing a tour guide of all people would get that wrong.)
Tour Guide: The inscription reads: 'On the world is cast a shadow by the mare in front of the sun'.
//FEAR NOT WHAT HIDES IN THE DARKNESS. FEAR THAT WHICH HIDES IN THE LIGHT.
//What? Who said that? What is that in my head?
//...
Spike: (Another question: she called herself 'the Avatar of Speed', but her name is Rainbow Dash. What's with that?)
T: (Hmm... which part first?)
Spike: (Avatar of Speed, I guess.)
T: (There are five Avatars under the employ of Princess Hazel that serve as both bodyguards and field knights. They are the Avatar of Speed, the Avatar of Strength, the Avatar of Luck, the Avatar of Temptation, and the Avatar of Avarice.)
Spike: (Are they all like Rainbow Dash? I don't think I could handle that.)
T: (You've met the Avatar of Avarice already, Spike, she's your old friend Rarity.)
Spike: (Oh. Great.)
Tour Guide: Here we see a treasure map from sixth era Trottingham, detailing the last known location of the greatsword wielded by Bucket James. The greatsword, which Bucket James named 'Reality', was said to be impervious to any magical effect cast at it, no matter how strong.
T: (That leaves the Avatar of Strength, Applejack, the Avatar of Luck, Pinkie Pie, and the Avatar of Temptation, Fluttershy. Who you've also met.)
Spike: (Rainbow Dash said something about Pinkie and luck, so that makes sense.)
T: (Really? I'm surprised Dash still knows who Pinkie Pie is with how long she's been away. She didn't even recognize you.)
Spike: (On to the second question: how do you know all these people by name?)
T: (...I was friends with all of them before they got their power.)
Spike: (Rainbow Dash didn't react like she was seeing an old friend.)
T: (...And I'm fairly powerful myself?)
Spike: ('Threaten the Princess's bodyguards' powerful?)
T: (Well... Oh, it's the end of the tour, want a gift bag?)
Tour Guide: Thank you for accompanying me on the tour of the Forlegsandria library, I hope you had a nice time. Please exit through the gift shop to the left, and we hope to see you again soon.
Spike: What I want to understand is why Dash said all dragons are criminals.
T: She said that? Blind prejudice isn't like... well... ah, blind prejudice is completely like her. But it still seems odd.
Vendor: It's more than odd, my mare, it's a travesty! An evil, hateful system designed to keep the scaled man down and subservient!
Spike: What? Who are you?
Vendor: A friend to all scalekind, my brother. I stand here today in protest of the backwards, racist system of city government that requires all its citizens to pay taxes and makes illegal the possibility of the dragon working man!
//It's illegal for dragons to work? How dumb is that!
Spike: But you're not a dragon; you're a pony.
Vendor: My brother, I am offended! Deep down inside in our hearts we are all people of the same type. Get an 'I support Dragon/Pony equality' carriage bumper sticker, only one bit, and support the cause! Dragon plushies five bits, fridge magnets and pins ten to the bit.
Spike: Wow. I never knew a noble cause could be so cheaply commercialized like that.
T: That'll teach you. Come on!
Vendor: Tenth anniversary edition, 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Scale', autobiography of a lonely mare who found love, only three bits today! Get yours!

//Back in the dragon district, the immense silver dragon once wrapped around the fountain is sitting on his haunches next to it, speaking with a younger full dragon with a jade bracelet around her wrist.
Immense Silver Dragon: I truly am sorry about this. I'm sure I could have fell a different way and missed the fountain.
Jade Bracelet Dragon: No, no, that's... it's okay, really.
//I can't find anyone else walking around, and I don't want to go knocking door to door, but those are some big freaking dragons...
ISD: It's not. I take full responsibility for its destruction. Have you figured out the extent of the damage yet?
JBD: It's cracked three different ways, all the way to the base. We'll also need to replace the statue, reconstruct almost the whole plaza, redo at least sixty feet of burst piping if we're lucky... it might be easier to take it all out and not have a fountain.
ISD: Because I couldn't take a blow to the head? Nonsense, Jebed. Take the damages and whatever other costs you need from my hoard, I insist. I can have the greater half of it down within the week.
JBD: That's quite alright, Quine, I'm sure there's a place in the city budget for maintenance and repairs.
QN: How much of that maintenance and repair budget do you think is allocated to the dragon district?
//Jebed hangs her head and sighs.
Spike: Uh, excuse me?
//The silver dragon, Quine, turns his great head to me and raises an eyebrow the size of my arm.
QN: Hello, drakeling. I apologize about your fountain and all the disturbance. Are you hurt?
Spike: No, I'm fine. I couldn't help but overhearing, but if you're not from here, where are you from?
QN: I, my child, am from the Aquinatic Mountain Range twenty days' flight to the northwest. My name is Quine.
JBD: I don't believe I've seen you around the district, young one, so maybe you could answer us the same question.
Spike: I'm Spike, from Ponyville. Nice to meet you!
//They're big, but they seem friendly. I wonder when I'll be as large and strong as them? What kind of Hero will I be then?
//Jebed turns her back, inspecting the fountain.
JBD: I am Jebed, unofficial matron of this dragon district. Welcome, Spike, to the dragon's place in Forlegsandria.
QN: Ponyville... that is not a name I have heard in quite a while.
JBD: Maybe you hit your head too hard, Quine, because we were discussing it just before you left.
QN: Possibly, possibly. Please let me apologize for all the trouble, Jebed. I've grown used to combating the Avatar of Strength, not Speed.
JBD: Quine, don't apologize. None of this was your fault, you weren't the one who decided to start a midair fight over a crowded city.
QN: Nevertheless, I feel my approach pattern was too aggressive. It could have looked like an attack. Force of habit, I'm afraid.
JBD: Quine, I refuse to allow you to apologize for being assaulted.
Spike: Wait, Rain-- the Avatar of Speed started all this? For what?
JBD: Nothing, as far as we know. And excuse me for asking, but was yours the voice yelling at her just a minute before she flew away?
//Does she mean the pony voice or the dragon voice? Wait, do I sound like Twilight?
Spike: Yeah, that was me. Poor decision on my part.
QN: Bravery is never a poor decision as long as you see it not fruitless.
//Instantly, my heart swells.
T: (No, you're still stupid.)
//So Twilight pokes the balloon with a pin. Of course.
//A skinny hatchling dashes through the empty streets with an arm raised, running towards the broken fountain. (S)he (?) is yelling:
Skinny Hatchling: Missus Jebed! Missus Jebed!
Jebed: Yes, hatchling, what is it?
SH: In the, in the, *hoo*, commo... commotinin, in the co--
Jebed: Commotion.
SH: In the commotion, one of Yiha's eggs is missing!
//Jebed recoils as if physically struck.
JBD: What! Oh, my poor daughter!
//Jebed runs and launches into the air immediately, as a flying pegasus in a blue uniform gets Quine's attention.
FP: Sir, we're going to have to ask you a few questions.
Quine: Of course.
FP: Have you, at any time before or after this incident, seen a bright orange filly around the dragon district?
Quine: Could you give me a few more details?
FP: She should look familiar, sir, she's the mayor's daughter.
Quine: The only orange pony I would recognize is one I would turn into an ashen stain on the cobblestone, if I could. Sorry.
FP: Right... sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave the city.
Quine: Certainly, I was planning on going home anyhow.
//Quine bends his long neck, starting to take flight, and speaks to me.
Quine: If you ever get the chance to go to the Aquinatic Mountains, drakeling, I suggest you avoid it. Dragons are not safe there.
//I shout at him as he's rising:
Spike: Wait! There are dragons there?! Why's it so dangerous?! What could threaten us?!
//I want to know more!
//There's no response. The immense silver dragon extends his wings, and flies out of the city.
Spike: Looks like things are bad all over.
T: The world is a harsh place, and it has to get worse before it gets better.
Spike: But the disappearances don't seem normal, happening to the leaders of ponies and dragons separately in the same day. I think someone used the brawl started by Rainbow Dash to abduct both the mayor's daughter and Jebed's grandegg.
T: We don't know they were abducted, Spike, someone could just be lost. Besides, grandegg isn't a word.
Spike: Yeah, but if it's true, I'll be rescuing someone important to both ponies and dragons in this region. I want to get better acquainted with dragons here, because I'm one of them. Then maybe I'll find someone who knows who I am.
T: Uh, Spike? Why don't you just _ask_--
//Not caring what Twilight has to say, I yell to the hatchling:
Spike: Hey, you!
SH: I have a name, y'know!
Spike: What is it?
SH: Shumbert Humbert.
T: ...You poor, poor thing.
Spike: Have there been any strange happenings around here, besides this? Spooky noises at night telling you to stay away from a place, people or ponies disappearing, anything like that?
T: ('People or ponies'?)
Spike: (Whoops.)
SH: Everybody just stays inside these days, a-less they got wings -- hey, you don't got wings. What are you doin'?
Spike: Any attacks on dragons recently? Uh, besides this one?
SH: I'm... I'm-a thinkin'...
//A scoundrel willing to resort to these tactics to get her way likely isn't powerful enough to deal with a full dragon, someone like Quine...
Spike: What about a place a full dragon couldn't fit in?
SH: Oh! Oh oh oh oh, like the caves! The caves off the west side of town!
T: This is not working.
SH: We heard a bunch of odd noises coming from the Westside Caves we used to play in, 'cause the tunnels are cramped and all and the adults couldn't find us there, but when we went to go check it out there was a ghost there and it said it'd eat us nasty dragons if we came back!
Spike: Good enough for me.
SH: Are you gonna defeat the ghost? Yay!
T: No. I refuse to believe this is possible.
Spike: Come on, Twilight! It's the first quest, no Hero takes it too seriously unless it's part of their backstory. Besides, no one's going to hand me a quest if I haven't already done some Hero-ing.
T: There is no 'quest'; you're not a Hero; and you're going to get yourself killed running about like one on a child's rumors.
Spike: I thought sidekicks were supposed to be comic relief.
Twilight Sparkle kicks The Drakeling in the side with her right rear hoof!

//Westside Caves. The tunnel entrance is barely tall enough for a pony to fit through, and it leads down into the earth, growing dark and muggy.
Spike: What's the atlas say about the water table in this region?
T: Forlegsandria is known for its granite, which can't hold an aquifer. It should be dry.
Spike: And if it's not?
T: You'll drown in a dark, deep hole where nobody will find your body.
Spike: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Twilight.
T: There's always, oh, not going into the cave?
//I step into the dark and wait for my eyes to adjust. Before I can see my claws in front of my face, I hear sniffing to my left.
Spike: Magic nose.
T: Not this time, but do you smell that?
//I breathe in, deeply. The tunnel is empty but for me, the voice to my left, echoes of nothingness fading into noise, and the smell of wet earth.
T: When you do, remember: it's the smell of falsehood.
Spike: Hoped it wouldn't turn out like this. I was afraid you were my mentor, and the ominous riddle just seals it.
T: ...An illusion spell, burning rubber is the scent of an illusion spell.
Spike: I'll be sure to remember that.

//I climb through the twisting maze of passages, moving deeper into the earth. As I keep going, the air becomes more and more stale, and the dirt starts to come off in large wet chunks as I try to grasp it. Eventually, I start to hear voices ahead, in a higher pitch than I was expecting.
Voice One: Ey Vit.
Voice Two: Ye, Vo?
VO: Whatchya think she's 'onna do wit' the egg?
//They must know what happened to Jebed's grandegg!
VT: I-'unno, scramble it or somethin'? What'm I, a chef?
//Of all the horrible things!
//The two fall silent. I climb closer to the source of the voices, steeling myself for combat.
VO: Ya think it'd be good, scrambled? A big ol' egg like that?
VT: 'Ow'm I supposed to know?
VO: I-'unno, mebbe ya et a dragon egg sometime.
VT: I never et no dragon egg, ya bilgelicker! Shut ep!
//Oh, pirates, that's what that accent is.
//The two fall silent again, voices replaced by the sound of shovels digging into earth.
//Suddenly, the dirt crumbles beneath my feet, and I fall into the chamber!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

The Drakeling slams into the ground!
The Drakeling's left leg takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle and tearing the scale!
The Drakeling bounces off the empty chest!

VO: Oh, wossis?
VT: Wosswot? Oh, that?
VO: Wot are ya doin' here?
//Vo and Vit pose menacingly with their shovels. The mares are dirty and their clothes torn, but they were digging greedily a moment ago.
Spike: I should ask you the same thing, but I know! You two took Yiha's egg!
VT: Ya know? Vo, he knows, tha's bad.
VO: Ya're here to... get it back, mebbe?
Spike: Yes! Where is it?!
VO: And ya, wha', the brovva of the egg or somethin'?
Spike: No, I'm a Hero!
VO: I figgad out wotwos he's doin' here, Vit, he's a Hero an'--
VT: Shut ep, Vo.
Spike: Tell me where the egg is!
VT: We don' got it no more.
VO: She gave us--oof!--
VT: Quit wit' it, foo!
Spike: She? Who is 'she'?
VT: N'one ya need to know. Tell ya wot. Ya get lost and we won' have t' bury ya as well as diggin' up this treasure.
//I can't just let egg stealers go!
Spike: Never! Prepare to...
//...die? That seems a little harsh, even for egg stealers. I don't know if I can do that.
Spike: ...be defeated!
VT: Ey, Vo.
VO: Ye, Vit?
VT: Don' he look like one-a them, wossit called, drakescales? The ones wit' the immortailtity if ya ride 'em?
VO: Issat wot them books're about then, Vit?
VT: Sh-- Shut ep, Vo! Ya don't know nothin' abouts them!
VO: Okay, Vit.
VT: They gots plenty of litserary qualitities!
//Qualitities aside, it's time to start this battle.

The Drakeling throws the muddy stone at The Mare (Vo)! The spinning muddy stone strikes The Mare (Vo) in the lower body, bruising the skin!

VO: Ey! Watch it!

The Mare throws the iron shovel at The Drakeling! The spinning iron shovel strikes The Drakeling in the left foot, but the attack glances away!

VT: Vo, why'd ya throw the shovel at 'im.
VO: Sorry, Vit.
VT: We talked abou' this, Vo! Throwin' a weapon's not a viable means of comba'!

The Drakeling charges at The Mare (Vit)! The Drakeling punches The Mare (Vit) in the upper body with his right hand, bruising the muscle and bruising the left lung!
The Mare (Vit) is having trouble breathing!

The Mare (Vit) bites at The Drakeling! The Mare (Vit) misses!
The Mare (Vo) charges at The Drakeling! The Mare (Vo) kicks The Drakeling in the right lower arm with her left front hoof, bruising the fat!
The Mare (Vo) collides with The Drakeling!
The Drakeling is knocked over and tumbles backwards!

The Drakeling kicks The Mare (Vo) in the lower body with his right leg, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
The Mare (Vo) looks sick!

The Mare (Vo) attacks The Drakeling but The Drakeling rolls away!
The Drakeling stands up!

T: (Hey, what did you mean by, 'hoped it wouldn't turn out like this' when you said I was your mentor?)
Spike: (Not the time, Twilight!)

The Mare (Vit) bashes The Drakeling in the right hand with her iron shovel, bruising the muscle and bruising the bone!
The Mare (Vo) bites The Drakeling in the left upper arm, tearing the scale! The Mare (Vo) latches on firmly!

The Drakeling punches The Mare (Vit) in the upper front teeth with his left hand and the severed parts fly off in an arc!

VT: Vho! Geth 'im!

The Mare (Vo) grabs The Drakeling by the lower body with her right front leg!
The Mare (Vit) charges at The Drakeling! The Mare (Vit) attacks The Drakeling but The Drakeling dodges backwards!
The Drakeling slams into The Mare (Vo) and is rebuffed! The Mare (Vit) grabs The Drakeling by the upper body with her upper body!
The Drakeling is pinned!

//They're pinning me between them! I can't move my arms, or get any leverage with my legs! I have to get away! If only I could open my mouth...
VT: Ya're no' escaping from us, ya jerk!
VO: Now tha' he's in our capture, Vit... wha' do we do wit' him?
VT: Ya do wot ya do wit' any captured drakescale!
VO: Like wot?
VT: Ya know... viola' him! Use 'im as we wants to use 'im! Make 'im do stuffs to us, ya know!
VO: Like wot, braidin' our hair?
//Vit groans.
VT: Vo, no, I'll show ya. Hold 'im tigh'.

The Mare (Vit) releases the grip of The Mare (Vit)'s upper body on The Drakeling!

//An opening!

VT: 'Mean, use ya head for a secon', girl, ya jus' do this...

The Drakeling headbutts The Mare (Vit) in the head, bruising the muscle, bruising the skull and bruising the brain! The Mare (Vit) gives into pain! The Mare (Vit) has been knocked unconscious! The Mare (Vit) collapses!

VO: Vit? Wot did ya do to Vit?!

The Mare (Vo) places a chokehold on The Drakeling's throat with her right front leg!
The Drakeling breathes fire! The Mare (Vo) is caught in the dragonfire! Her right front hoof has been burnt to a crisp!

VO: Aaughyaaa!!!

The Mare (Vo) releases the grip of The Mare (Vo)'s right front leg on The Drakeling!

The Drakeling kicks The Mare (Vo) in the left front leg with his right foot from the side, shattering the bone, jamming the bone through the left front knee's muscle and shattering the left front knee's bone!
The Mare (Vo) collapses! The Mare (Vo) gives into pain!

The Mares were defeated!
Spike earned 50 experience points!
Spike is now level 4!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Did... did I win?
VO: Oohhh... oh, m'knee, oh, ow, ah...
//Vit is still unconscious.
Spike: (What am I supposed to do here?)
//They never mention what Heroes do with defeated enemies. I don't want to kill them, but that knee looks nasty and crumpling to the ground like the other one did probably means her head needs to be looked at. If I leave them here, though, that amounts to beating up two ponies in a cave because I thought they were criminals (even if they are)...
Spike: Do you have any rope?
//She keeps moaning, stretching out both wounded legs out in front of her. I search through sparse digging supplies and find a few dozen feet of rope.
//Vo's back legs are tied together, and the rope is attached to her neck and then to the empty treasure chest, in which I put all the digging supplies. All of Vit's legs are tied together, and I throw the last hoop of rope over a stalagmite high on the wall.
Spike: That ought to keep you two for a while.
//I sit down and try to get an angle on my cuts, to close them with dragonfire.
VO: Do ya... do ya wan' the treasure? Issat why ya're here?
Spike: Treasure?
VO: Ya! She tol' us treasure's in tha' side of the room!
//It must be a treasure chest filled with gold gullibles.
Spike: Who is 'she'?
//Vo shrugs.
VO: I-'unno, some unicorn. Vit knows 'er name. Ey, Vit!
//...I'm going to leave before I lose my mind watching Vo try to wake up Vit with both of them bound.

//Climbing through the tunnel again, it starts to get wetter than normal, and the torch I acquired (stole) from the pirates is burning out.
T: So, what did you mean by that, then?
Spike: Do you think I did the right thing? I didn't want them to escape, but if I don't come back quick enough, they could be here a long time.
T: Was it 'I don't want a pony to be my mentor'? You've been focusing a lot on being a dragon lately... is that the reason?
Spike: And they need medical attention, odds are as soon as possible. Who do I tell for that? Do you think the city guard sends a nurse with them?
T: I would understand, 'I don't want someone who knew the old Spike to be my mentor'. That's an immense informational advantage and could really mess up a teacher-student bondage if not handled correctly.
Spike: ...Twilight, I think it's 'bond'.
T: Nonsense; he wouldn't be in a cave.
//The next section of the tunnel drops down about ten feet, opening into a wider part of the cave holding a long pool of water.
Spike: Can't hold an aquifer.
T: It shouldn't! Look at the walls; they're rough granite!
Spike: It only looks waist high, and this is the only way to go.
//I take a deep breath, steady myself for the cold, and jump in.
//I WAS NOT READY FOR THE COLD.
Spike: Aggg, wow that is unpleasant.
//The water comes up to my neck and is crystal clear, which likely means it's poisonous given not even muck is living in it. It's so cold my muscles are working harder just to move, as if the water is thicker. I raise my torch arm higher, and relight it.
T: Spike, this water is disgusting! You could get scale rot!
Spike: Urban myth; scales are actually hardened feathers. Will be dry as a bone in minutes. Was in one of the... oh.
//The books hang off my shoulder into the water, bouncing against my back as I wade. A waterproof bag would have been a wise investment.
Spike: I'm sorry, I'll replace those... Twilight?
//She simply disappeared from the tunnel above, and isn't anywhere near the water... is she mad at me?
Spike: ...Sorry anyway, Twilight.
//I continue wading through the water, towards a dry ledge at the end of the long pool. Beyond where the ledge ends, the bottom of the pool seems to drop off, and I can't see yet if it has a bottom.
//I look down and half an inch away is a smiling face made out of water!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

Spike: Bwaa!
//I leap out of the water and scramble up one of the rough granite walls, tail and books hanging down and dripping behind me.
Water Face: No! Don't be scared!
Spike: Then plan your approach better! What the hell are you?!
Water Face: I'm a Kelpie!
//Water rises out of the... water, and flows into the shape of a pony, completing the body to the face.
WF: My name is Wafa! Well, really, my name is Niogi-Solki-Wafa-.!!.!.!...!.!...!.!...!, but everyone calls me Wafa!
Spike: That's great, Wafa, but you need to learn how to say hello to people.
//I wag my tail back and forth, spraying water droplets everywhere. The bag is still soaked.
WF: Oh~? Will you teach me~?
Spike: I... have something to get to.
//Wafa spouts.
Spike: I'm not sure if you can get out of the way, but if you could, that'd be great...
WF: What are you getting to? Is it ~a girlfriend~?
Spike: No! I mean, no. I'm a Hero, and I'm on a quest.
//Wafa swells.
WF: A _Heeerooo_? Hehehehe!
Spike: And I'd like to get back to that.
WF: Well, are you waiting for an invitation? The ledge is over there, silly!
//It is. With a sigh, I take a breath again and drop back in the water.
//STILL COLD.
Spike: Have you -- brrr, sorry -- have you seen an egg somewhere around here? A dragon egg?
WF: Nope!
Spike: Then I need to get going.
//I wade through the water again, holding the torch, as Wafa asks me questions.
WF: Are you a good Hero? What's your name?
Spike: Spike. Not yet, but I will be.
WF: What are you? Are you a pony? A dragon? A griffon? Something else?
Spike: Uh, can't you tell?
WF: I have no eyes, silly!
//Wafa runs over my shoulders, sending a chill down my spine, and reforms on the other side.
Spike: I'm a dragon.
Wafa: Ooooooo, what kind of dragon? You can't be a black or a bronze dragon, 'cause I'd know, but what kind of dragon are you?
//Don't tell the truth, don't tell the truth, don't tell the truth...
Spike: Just a regular old drakeling.
//Damnit!
//In a wobbly voice as she claps her water hooves together, Wafa gasps:
WF: A drakeling? Oh my goodness!
//Ten feet to the ledge. You can make it, Spike...
WF: This is just like I -- hehehehe!
//Wafa flows between my legs and up my chest to reform right in front of me!
Spike: Woah, watch where you're swimming!
WF: Okay, Spike, _I_ -- have a proposal for you.
Spike: I'm not interested in your Fish Celestia.
//Eight feet...
WF: ...I... I, uh... what?
Spike: It's a joke, see. Celestia's an important god on the surface, and some people go around door to door asking if you'd like to talk with them about oh nevermind.
WF: Hear this, Spike. I just know you're going to ~love~ it.
Spike: I'm a fighter, not a lover.
//_Six feet_...
WF: My Dad is the King of the Kelpies. What, if, I got him to give you the power to breathe underwater? Wouldn't that be awesome?!
Spike: How would the sea creatures react, though?
WF: I'm sure they would love you! You'd get to meet and be friends with all of them!
Spike: Knowing how my adventure's going, I'd only get to meet the dolphins.
//Just four more feet... come on, Spike, you're almost there...
WF: And then you could be our Hero and go on quests for us and be knighted and ask for my hand in marriage and my Dad would say yes! Just like I've always dreamed! Doesn't that sound great, Spike?
Spike: You know, I had a dream, once.
WF: Huh?
Spike: It was about a terrible monster made of marshmallow that meandered menacingly amidst multicolored macaroni, and I don't have enough words to complete the alliteration but give me a second and I might.
//Wafa looks very confused.
//Two feet... reach for it... reeeeaaaaaaaach for it...
//Success!
WF: Where are you going?
//I pull myself out of the water onto the ledge, keeping the torch high, and hop a few steps out before turning around.
Spike: Basically, I learned to fly in order to get away from the monster. And Wafa, you're cool and all... but I've gotta fly.
WF: WHAT?!
//A pony-sized glob of water leaps out of the pool and onto the dry land, ready to attack!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//Okay, where's the way out, tell me it's not into more water... hey, a ladder.
WF: You can't say no to me! I'm a Princess!
Spike: If it makes you feel better I plan on saying no to more than one Princess.
//She can't see you, and you can see her. Besides, she's made of water. Just back away from the pool.

The Kelpie throws water at The Drakeling! The Drakeling's torch is covered in water!
The Drakeling's torch goes out!

//Oh, crap.

The Drakeling leaps backwards! The Drakeling slams into an obstacle! The Drakeling's upper body takes the full force of the impact, bruising the scale!

//Oof, thought that would be the ladder, not a wall. Still, I have a wall, she has just water. She can't even give me scale rot.

The Kelpie throws water at The Drakeling! The spinning ball of water strikes The Drakeling in the first finger, left hand, shattering the bone!

//SHIT
//RUN BOY RUN

The Drakeling leaps to the left! The Drakeling slams into an obstacle! The Drakeling's left foot takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle!

The Kelpie throws water at The Drakeling! The spinning ball of water strikes the wall, fracturing the stone!
The severed pieces fly off in separate arcs!

The Drakeling leaps to the right! The Drakeling misses!

The Kelpie throws water at The Drakeling! The spinning ball of water strikes The Drakeling in the left upper leg, bruising the muscle!

//Please, let this be it...

The Drakeling leaps to the right! The Drakeling connects, grabbing The Ladder!

The Kelpie throws water at The Drakeling! The spinning ball of water misses!

//Climb, you silly dragon, climb!
//After a few rungs, I start to slow down. Every bit of me is soaked in water, but I'll be dry by the time I reach the top of the ladder. Especially because... wow. That is tall. At least there's some light at the end of it.
Spike: So Twi, do you --
WF: Wait!
Spike: Gaah that's weird!
//Wafa is speaking to me using the water still clinging to my scales. She's currently talking from where the second ball of water hit, my upper leg.
WF: If you come down the hole with me, I can make you feel really good!
Spike: I don't want to!
WF: W-Wait, I can do better! I can make you feel really good here, and then you can come down the hole with me!

Water spreads across The Drakeling's lower body! Water spreads across The Drakeling's right upper leg!

Spike: Leave me alone!
WF: No!

The Kelpie assaults The Drakeling! The Drakeling's resistance is lowered!

//I can't climb the ladder like this, I'll drop off halfway through! But Wafa won't just dry off; she's a water spirit!

WF: You know, I've been doing a lot of research about drakelings, in my spare time.
Spike: Stop talking! That feels weird!
WF: When a drakeling mates, he releases a series of chemicals that flood his head! He's one hundred percent enamored with whoever he just mated with! A complete and total slave!
//What? Is this true?

The Kelpie assaults The Drakeling! The Drakeling's resistance is lowered further!

//Oh, Celestia, I need to get rid of this girl! But I can't get the angle with dragonfire, and even if I could, I think she'd get me off before I got her off of me!
WF: And do you know what the best part is?
//I climb another few rungs of the ladder, hoping for something to happen.

The Keplie tightens her grip!

Spike: Gahauagh!
WF: I SAID, do you know what the best part is? It lasts forever!! For ever and ever we're going to be Princess and Prince and I just know you'll love it! Are you ready to love me forever, Spike?
T: (Spike! Conglomerate! It's porous stone!)
//The stone in front of me is yellowed and patchy, completely unlike the granite earlier.
Spike: If it's my only chance!

The Drakeling slams his waist into the wall!
The Kelpie is absorbed into the stone!

WF: What? Spike, I thought we were--
Spike: No, Wafa, you're selfish and maniacal. Also a fish.

The Drakeling slams his waist into the wall!
The Kelpie is absorbed into the stone!

WF: Wha?! Spike, no!

The Drakeling slams his waist into the wall!
The Kelpie is absorbed into the stone!
The Kelpie has been absorbed completely!

The Kelpie Princess was defeated!
Spike earned 100 experience points!
Spike is now level 5!
//Crazy watery bint!

[[SAVE LOCATION]]

//I look above me again. There's still a lot of ladder to climb.
T: You know she wasn't a fish, right?
Spike: It felt right to say.
T: Hey, whatever floats your boat, Hero.
Spike: Is what she said true? About the chemicals, and the obsession?
T: ...Yes. It's all true.
//...
T: Which, coincidentally, you would have found out if you read a bit further in that anatomy textbook you _had_.
Spike: Oh, er... I'll replace those.
T: Yes, you will.

//An few (?) minutes of nothing but ladder climbing passes. Twilight disappears again, probably due to boredom. I drop the bag of books at some point, given that I'll be replacing them anyway. Maybe it'll give Water Face something to do besides assault travelers. When I'm most of the way up the ladder (and totally dry), a vision comes to me.
C: Spike... Spike, it is Celestia.
Spike: Celestia! It's you!
C: Yes.
Spike: Oh honored Celestia, I feel like I'm a target for the world to throw anything and everything at! Not only am I weak of arm, but weak of... weak to assault as well! How can I deal with the fact if someone successfully assaults me, I'm forced to be their slave forever?
C: You are weak of arm and weak of will only right now, but you will be strong, and you must be strong. Have faith, in me and yourself, that through your power and mine things will change. You will always be a target, my Spike, but you will be a target at which the world throws everything, and in the end you will stay standing.
Spike: Celestia! I believe!
C: You may have noticed, in some of your moments of weakness or distress, a certain voice entering your head... it is a rather unique voice, if only for its abrasiveness and cruelness.
Spike: The angry guy that sounds like he's speaking with caps lock on?
C: He is your dragon instinct, Spike, a legacy of the rage your race once held for anything and everything. Though... unpleasant at times, he may be a great source of strength for you when your mind is not clear, due to enchantment effects or... temptation.
Spike: Yes, Celestia! I understand!
C: Go now, Spike, and complete your quest to defeat the pony Princess, and bring back hope to dragonkind.
Spike: I will, Celestia, I will!

//Refreshed by my vision, I reach the top of the ladder in no time at all. I climb up into a cramped room with nothing but a door, under which small cracks of light peek through.
//I open the door to the scene of a minotaur arguing with a pony with an egg in a sling.