Alright... first of... BBB why would I ever stop doing Travels of a Madman? I mean it's a lot better than reading about David getting married to two ponies, who are sisters by the way, at the exact same time. Have you never been dumb enough to combine Romance and Comedy? I have in the past... trust me... It's a hard thing to work out. Second I may be busy this week. Busy schedule but never fear my readers! For as long as I remain alive this story shall continue! Let's just hope it stay that way am I right?

"What?" I ran outside to see the Titanic only to end up freezing. "OH shit..." I ran back inside and took of the armor as to which I handed it to my little robots. "Okay. Atom! I want you to make this suit bigger and better suited for extreme claimants."

"Yes master Grimm!" I quickly grabbed the time valve and turned it backwards and removed the Titanic from the side hull of the Tardis. Good as new.

"Thank you." I ran to my wardrobe and dressed up for cold temperatures including my white jacket with fur and a ski mask this time while switching to pony form. Also I didn't shave so I had a sort of thick beard which kept me warm. "Alright. Time to solve a mystery." I walked outside and the Tardis closed by itself. "What?" It started making it's noise and disappeared. "No! No no no! Come back!" I saw it land at a distance on a piece of ice. "Oh okay. I'll just swim in the freezing arctic ocean later. No biggie."

"Hey you down there! Do you know how to repair ships?" asked a man.

"I'm a repair technician so yes! That's my specialty!"

"Ships?"

"NO repairs!"

"OH..." he lowered a rope. "Climb aboard friend. Please. We need you."

I did as was told and made my way up.

"Thank you." He said. "I am Captain Anchor. We are having troubles with our ship." said the pony as I met him.

"The Titanic. Ah. The unsinkable voyage right?"

"That is correct. And you are?"

"John Smith."

"Well Mr. Smith do you know how to fix this?" he said pointing to the large gaping wounds on the pipes and engine.

"Hold on... Oh my..."

"What is it?" he asked as I inspected it.

"It's sabotage."

"Your kidding."

"No... someone wants you and all of the passengers dead."

"How do you know about the passengers?"

"Oh... Uh... I saw the flyer."

"All the way out here?"

"Yes sir. I'm doing experiments while I'm here."

"Well you are dressed to survive in the wild."

"Hehehe... thank you sir." There wasn't that many people down here. "Sir where are all of your workers?"

"Enjoying the party."

"So know one was watching?"

"Well... no."

"Then the saboteur had plenty of time to cover his tracks. I don't know who did it but I can fix it."

"I'll leave you to it." he said walking away. "And Mr. Smith. You will be paid handsomely for this."

"Thank you captain." Is this what he does? Oh well... hey! If I'm on a ship then I can just have them drop me off at that piece of ice I saw the Tardis land on. Oh genius! I'll get payed and I'll get home... no wait... I don't have a home anymore. Fucking ponies!

"What are you doing?" asked someone from behind.

"Oh I'm working on this engine-Oh." I felt a pipe hit me on the back of the head. I turned around to see, I'm being serious, I saw Gilda. Yeah. "Hey you..." I fell down unconscious as she ran away and locked the door.

52 minutes later...

"Uh..." I stood up and looked around. There weren't any lights on and no one was down here. How long was I out? Shit Gilda! I ran to the door and couldn't open it. "Crap." I moved back and tackled the glass with my head shattering it. "OW fuck fuck YAY I got it! Ow!" I felt a cut on my right eyebrow. It was really deep. So deep that my body wasn't healing it. "Great another scar..."

I ran upstairs to see all the ponies dancing. I saw David dancing with Celestia and she was... well bigger. I didn't go to another universe. I went to another time! Oh the humanity! Well works for me that they are going to die... No! Evil thoughts!

"Attention please. Attention." I said grabbing the mike getting there attention. I had my mask down so they wouldn't recognize me. "Will all ponies who can use magic get everyone they can and teleport away from here? Thanks."

"What's going on?" asked Twilight.

"Too many questions!"

"I asked one."

"Well we may have a slight issue."

"Mister Smith!" said the captain. "This is an outrage! What is going on?"

"Well Captain Barnacle..."

"Anchor."

"Right. I was attacked down there by Gilda the Griffon!" I said waving at her. "Hi! Say hi to the people Gilda! Anyways... this ship is heading for an ice berg."

"But this ship is unsinkable!" cried Rainbow. "Do you know what that means?"

"As a matter of fact I do. But that doesn't mean we can stop the ice berg."

"OH yeah?" The ship crashed against it and sent many ponies flying and all in panic.

"Yeah... there's your answer. Alright! All crew on your regular stations! Magic users save as many lives as you can! That means you two lovebirds get in action!" I yelled pointing my hoof at David and Celestia.

"I'm not leaving. I will sink with this ship." said the captain.

"Anchor that is noble of you but-"

"No buts. My mind is made up."

"Very well. Get to the controls. You can keep the ship afloat a little longer."

"How do you know all of this?"

"I've build boats before!" I yelled running outside. I tried to get ponies on the life rafts but they complained about the worst possible things. Hair, clothes, temperature, you name it.

"But I will look hideous!" cried Rarity.

"Yeah but you'll look better than a skeleton at the bottom of the sea." she shut up and got on the raft with plenty of other ponies. "Is everyone on?" I asked looking at them.

"All but you." said Applejack.

"Good!" I pulled the lever and dropped them all.

"Jump Smith!" cried Luna.

"Why aren't you teleporting?"

"Cold temperatures affect magic." said Twilight. I turned around to see more ponies including Celestia and David. On my right I saw a paper that said July 12th. Alright. I also saw a big bracelet on Celestia. It was mine alright.

"Come on!" I pushed them on to it and plenty of other ponies. "Your the last one Rainbow! Get on!"

"I can fly!"

"For how long?" I asked her.

"Long enough?"

"You can fly all the way back to the castle?"

"I... uh... no."

"Then get on!" I threw her in and released the boat.

"What about you?" cried all the ponies on the boats.

"I'll do this!" I ran off the front of the boat and clung to the ice berg. It may be cold but it's not as cold as the water. "See? I'm fine!" I turned to see Captain Anchor. "Change your mind captain?"

"After seeing your bravery yes I have!"

"Then jump old man!" He got a running start but successfully made it. "Alright. That was fun. Hey Celestia!"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure Gilda stays in prison this time."

"Alright John."

"Wait!" Yelled Niko from raft #1. "John Smith is a fake name. What is your real name?"

"Hehehe... You may call me the Painkiller!"

"Grimm!" They all yelled in surprise.

"But I thought you said you would never come back." Said Twilight.

"I lied!" We all watched the ship sink. "Sorry Anchor."

"OH it's alright. I can rebuild it."

"So that's why I didn't see many workers. You were the only one?"

"Yeah... and it was a waste of time."

"Don't say that. We didn't have anyone killed so if anything you are in line for a reward."

"But that was you."

"Oh yeah. I'll lie."

"You don't want that reward?"

"I don't want one that I don't deserve." I looked down the ice berg and saw the Tardis. "My Tardis!"

"It's just a blue box." he said. One of the boats got close enough for him to board. "Thank you again Painkiller!"

"Welcome old man." I went inside and was greeted by Atom. "Yes?"

"Your armor is complete." he said pointing to the more bulky Advance suit. It still had the three visor lines but the helmet was more square and the armor had more mass to it. Meaning more protection. It also had fur and what not.

"Excellent!" I quickly put it on. "What about hot temperatures?"

"The armor is magical. When we worked on it we activated the survival circuit meaning it will change it's shape according to temperature or location."

"Nice one Atom." I said lighting up a smoke. "Take a break my good man."

"Thank you sir." I need weapons though. I'm sure there is an armory around here. Oh yeah! Past the medic bay which is past the bedroom which is... right here. Hmm. Oh I'm good. I quickly went in there to find many weapons inside. Swords, axes, guns, and explosives.

"Let's see... I'll grab my trusty M1911A1 pistols. Two of them each with mystical engravings on them." You see these aren't your typical guns. They have unlimited ammo due to the fact that they live off of life force. One shot is all it takes to blow a hole inside a nuclear bunker 20 inches thick. And since I can't die... infinite ammo. Oh if I had a bandana I could make a metal gear joke right about now. Hmm... I do wonder how my friends are doing. But it will all work out for the best if I can refrain from coming back here every goddamn fucking minute of the fucking hour!

"I know! I'll go... pirating!"

"That's a horrible idea." said Atom.

"Oh hush you."

"Master... why don't you go and visit your friends?"

"Because they are rat bastards!"

"I'm sure they are sorry and miss you dearly. Why keep them waiting?"

"Because that was a long time ago for them."

"Just give it a try."

"Alright..."

Stupid robot... I don't want to go back there. Oh well. I don't care. This whole... eternal thing is really just eating away at me. I don't fear death but I can't exactly die. So what's the point in my life? The meaning of life is to die. You take a dice which has 6 sides and add them all up to get 21. 21+21=42. So 2 die. The meaning of life is to die. Life=Die. See?

I walked out the door after successfully solving my math equations when I noticed the world seemed... lighter. So very light. Like it was... missing something? What could we be missing OH MY GOD! The world is in pieces?! What the fuck!

"Who's idea was this?" I asked jumping between the levitating rock pieces. I heard this maniacal laughter and looked up to see angels fighting this purple-y monster on the moon. "Huh. And it's the time I don't have wings Oh FUCK MY LIFE."

"Grimm!" yelled one of them landing down beside me. I turned my head to see a dark haired angel.

"Yes?"

"Get up in that fight man!"

"Well let me just cut on my rocket boots then." I did it and tried to fly but landed again. "What am I out of fuel?"

"This is no time for jokes!"

"Listen bub I don't know who you are and I don't know what that is."

"It's the Nightmare! Your the strongest one here."

"Sure! I got my pistols so I'm good."

"Be-careful. She can destroy angels."

"You don't say."

"I do say. It doesn't matter if your immortal or invincible. She will still kill us."

"Then we kill her first! Lift me up!" I jumped on his back.

"I can't fly with you there!" I moved my legs up to his neck.

"Now you can! Go Icarus!"

"My name is Gabriel."

"Your name is now Caleb!"

"Fucking crazy bastard." We began our flight up to the MMMOOOONNNN! Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Then the monster turned to look at us.

"Ah... if it isn't my favorite traveler."

"Hello to you to Miss Moody."

"Silence!" she launched several tentacles at me and I jumped off of Gabe to dodge. Sadly he was torn to pieces. "My magic will make sure you stay dead this time."

"I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going."

"I'm going to take my time with you."

"Called it." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a saxophone.

"What are you doing?"

"Keeping it real!" I started playing while doing the epic sax guy dance. She smacked me with a tentacle and sent me flying into the surface of the moon. "Ow... Okay... that hurts."

"Get up."

"Yeah I'm going to feel that in the morning."

"I command thee to fight me! Would you like to bet?"

"What are the terms?"

"You defeat me and I return the world back to it's original state."

"And if I lose?"

"You'll be my little bitch."

"Hmm... life as a sex slave does sound good... but I'll think I'd like the world back." She continued throwing her arms and killed all the rest of the angels. I counted about... 7? Well if they can die... I can die. SO that's a bummer. Or is it good? Hmm...

"The final fight."

"Alright. I'm game." I drew my pistols. "Let's finish it."

Alright guys... I may have lied. Got some bad news. I may have to put away the story for a bit. A good bit. I'm going to be very busy and some bad things have happened to me in the past month.

1. My dad got lung cancer.
2. My sister was proposed to. Yeah. I hate weddings.
3. I've just not been getting enough sleep. And the fact that I read Sweet Apple Massacre hasn't help me out.

4 and final. I can't just do stories anymore. My brain is finally running low on imagination fluid. Old gal wasn't built for this much abuse.

So if you really enjoyed my stories then like it, leave a comment, and I'll even allow spin-offs. Honestly I just don't care anymore. I'm going to try to think up of a way to finish it off. I still have the nightmare fight to finish and that may be the best spot to end it. Sorry that I'll be occupied for... I don't know. Maybe years. So I'll get about 1 more chapter done and end it. Once again I'm sorry but that's how the cookie crumbles.

I know I know I said I'd try to do more parodies like Stargate and what not but once again I'm sorry. But look on the bright side. Maybe this website will be a safer place without me right? No... No... That's just silly. But still really really sorry.