Is my life so unfair that even my companion has to pay for it? Really? Order of chaos? I mean I didn't kill Discord this fucking time! So cut me some slack karma system!

"*sigh* Guess I'm waiting..." I had to stop and look at the clock. "5 hours. Right?" I looked to see Pinkie was still gone. "*sigh* I hate being alone."

"Hey mister!" said Scootaloo below me. She might not recognize me as a pony wearing armor with black hair and orange eyes. Honestly how many damn times will I have to change my appearance? I'm done! This is the last time! "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"Something interesting to happen."

"Well it's probably better than my day."

"You recognize me don't you?" I asked her.

"Of course I do!" Wow. That just brought a tear to my eye. She really is an angel.

"Well what have you done today?"

"I tried being a musician, a construction pony, a bank pony, and a mail pony! I still don't have my cutie mark!"

"I'm so sorry. Keep on trying kid."

"But with what? What's your talent?"

"My talent is my ability to get anyone to follow me, to help me, or to change someone. Like on Earth I converted about... 40 kids to become bronies."

"What's Earth and bronies?"

"I'll tell you later. Your good on your scooter aren't you?"

"Yeah I am!"

"Then try that. Try other vehicles. Maybe you'll be a street racer. Oh that would be so cool!" Oh I'm starting to daydream again. Need to focus! FOCUS!

"Thanks Mr. Shafer! Ms. Vinyl wanted me to tell you something."

"What was that?"

"She said you aren't alone. Whatever that means." I dropped my smile and looked at her with confusion and shock. "Alright bye!"

"Yeah... bye..." What is Vinyl not telling me? It's like when I thought I saw Kay for a second. Don't tell me my past is coming up to haunt me. Oh that's the one thing I hate the most. A revelation. But if I'm going to be a god I guess I need to sometime.

4 hours later

Time flew by and I began my walk for the lake. They didn't say which lake so I'm afraid I might have to try them all. What I'm scared of mostly is that I'll be late and Pinkie will be injured. I can't live with that on my conscious. Well I can... but she can't and if I know that my friend is in pain because of me then I'll feel it.

"Hello!" said a voice behind me. I turned to see Shining Armor and Cadence shopping.

"Hey guys! How's the stitches going Shining?"

"Oh they don't hurt. Honestly I think you did me a favor."

"How so?"

"You opened my eyes. What I did to you was wrong. I could have helped you while you laid in the forest missing your arm and bleeding to death. No I took that opportunity to take my hate and anger out on you."

"I see. Well I need to thank you. My new life is amazing."

"But you don't have love anymore." said Cadence. Well if anyone knows something about love it's her alright. "And without love we're just empty shells without a purpose."

"...I..."

"You seem lonely." she cut me off! Again!

"Yeah I guess I-"

"Did Pinkimina walk out on you as well?"

"We weren't dating. I'm here to pick her up."

"From what?"

"Oh... you know... kidnappers."

"*gasp* Grimm! Oh no!"

"Hey hey hey... don't freak out. If anyone should be doing that it's me." I told them. "Just relax."

"Alright. You know how to defuse the situation I imagine." said Shining. "Call if you need my help anytime."

"Alright. Thanks Shining and thanks for the advice Cadence." They both nodded and went back to shopping. I'm so worried right now... honestly I need a vacation. I just got David double-hitched and now I just lost Pinkie. How do you lose somepony in 5 seconds? I ask you! How!

I made my way down to the shore while reverting back to my human form. It seemed nice so I unfolded my boots up to my legs so I could feel the sand on my feet. Oh the warm sand on this nice sunny day as the ocean moved across my feat was breathtaking. I know you'd think someone as idiotic or crazy as me would be the last to find such kindness in nature but I love nature more than myself. So many great things and so few notice it.

"He's here." I picked up a voice with my horn. The whole radio/ directional microphone thing really worked out. I refolded my boots and sat down on the wooden steps of the pier.

"Hello! You must be that cult huh?" I asked the ponies in the black and red robes.

"Yes and we all know why you are here."

"To enjoy the sunset while on a beach?"

"Bring her here." They had Pinkie lined up on a cross. They didn't nail her but she had bruises all over her body. It looked like they beat and whipped her. Oh man... I am so sorry Pinkie. I am so so sorry.

"Grimm-" she tried to yell as one of them came up and placed a handkerchief on her mouth.

"Let her go."

"Did you bring the bribe?" asked the leader.

"Bribe? You just said meet on the beach."

"We said bring 2 million bits."

"No it doesn't work like that. Look I have your note right here. Not a single bribe." I held it up for him to read. When he tried to take it I pulled it away. "Ah ah ah no cheating."

"We appear to be at a crossroad." said the leader with his boys backing him up.

"No. It appears someone is pissing me off and hurting my friend. Didn't you ever learn some manners? Don't hit a woman!"

"Who are you to lecture us?"

"Me? Oh I"m no body. I'm just a fool who got a note."

"Boys." every single one of them drew out an assault rifle.

"Ah. Humans. I'd recognize your attitude anywhere. Now release Pinkimina."

"Alright. We'll do that." They untied her and threw her down on the beach. "But you die!"

"Huh." I looked down at Pinkie. "Pinkie stay down."

"But-"

"This is gonna hurt." I felt all of them unload their ammo inside my chest. This armor doesn't protect shit! Well actually it would if they weren't using armor-piercing rounds! I counted 7 ponies and each one reloaded 3 times. Each clip had 30 bullets. So you do the math. I was shot 270 times. Yeah. Ouch. I fell to the ground in the pool of my own blood and didn't move.

"Alright boys let's go!" said the leader.

"What about the pink pony?" asked one of the lackeys. I've always wanted to say that. Lackey. Well... got my wish.

"Let her mourn." they all left and Pinkimina ran to my side.

"Oh my Celestia... Stay with me Grimm!" she said with tears.

"Pinkie..."

"Don't move... your really injured."

"Pinkie!"

"Yes?"

"I'm fine." I got up and held my breath pushing all 270 bullets out of my body and healing. "See?"

"I thought you died."

"I'm a good actor."

"Yeah. Come on."

"You have to give me a minute."

"Why?"

"Just because I can't die doesn't mean I can't feel pain."

"So what do you do?"

"Well in about 20 seconds the painkillers in my blood will kick in and fix that."

We waited a half a minute and I stopped feeling the wounds. At least I got my party pony back.

"Pinkie are you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm fine."

"You look like you had it rough."

"Well sticks and stones can break my bones."

"But they used more than sticks and stones."

"Yeah. But I'll be okay." I reached over and picked her up in my arms. "Hey what gives!"

"Your injured and I'm a gentleman. I'll carry you back to the Tardis so I can administer first-aid."

"Your a doctor?"

"No but I've learned how to take care of myself on the battlefield." She stopped fighting my arms and allowed me to carry her. I walked behind the bar and found my time machine in it's usual spot and took her in.

Meanwhile...

"My queen. The order has completed there mission." said the changeling.

"And your positive that he is dead?" asked Chrysalis.

"Yes."

"Then when we attack soon."

Meanwhile...

"OW! I thought you said you knew what you were doing!"

"I do! Hold bloody still!"

"OW OW OW! Quit it!"

"I'm almost done." She kicked me in the chin. "Ow!"

"How do you like it?"

"Look I just need to finish with this witch hazel and your free to go."

God that was a good kick she gave me. All's well that end well right? Honestly what did they do? Stone you! I've been stoned before actually when I went to year one. Ouchies by the way. Pinkimina went back to bed which is odd considering she was sleeping earlier. I felt kinda bad for having her kidnapped but... that kinda happens a lot doesn't it?

I then just remembered something! My Cartographer's Cap! I can't keep on traveling with out it now can I? Time to pay the girls a lesson.

At this exact same time... in a place unimaginable...

"So Eden are you ready?" asked Vinyl.

"Oh you know exactly what I'm going to do."

"*giggle* Stop." Vinyl was happy when the other mare kissed her neck. "You said I get to be on top today."

"That I did."

Just then I decided to climb through the window.

"GRIMM!" they both yelled throwing pillows.

"Hello ladies. Don't mind me." I went to my closet and opened it up to find the green tunic and Cartographer's Cap. I folded it into a scarf.

You have acquired the Cartographer's Scarf! This excellent piece of clothing will keep you looking awesome while you already are awesome. +10 to your sight skills. +5 to your imagination skills. +50 to your awesomeness!

Did I have to bold my thoughts? Yes. Yes I did. I quickly went back out the window and flew to the Tardis. I also activated my cloak so no one would see me. Yeah I'm thorough when it comes to people not finding me. Well except for Vinyl and Eden. They kinda already know... Hmm... I wonder... what world I should go to next. I think I know where I'm going.

A few seconds later...

"Grimm?" asked Pinkimina as I walked in the door in a moonwalk style. "What are you doing? What are you wearing?"

"Doing the moonwalk!" I did a twirl and closed the door. "This is my scarf."

"It looks awesome." Yes! It worked! Now if only I could command her to make me a sandwich. "I made sandwiches. Want one?"

"Yes!" I grabbed it and bit into the beautiful peanut butter and banana sandwich. Good...good...

"So where are we going today?"

"The alternate timeline!"

"Huh?"

"It's a equestria in which Celestia didn't banish Luna to the moon. No instead Luna banished Celestia to the sun."

"That's not possible is it?"

"It is. Especially when it's evil Celestia. OH I've always wanted revenge on her."

"Why?"

"For being an evil troll."

"You are so strange."

"Allons-y!" I yelled pulling the red lever and hitting the bell with a hammer. The machine went rocketing left and right and we had our good laugh as we went through time again. It stopped and told us we had arrived.

"Alright Pinkie. Time to visit the New Lunar Republic."

"I've always like Luna more."

"Me too. But that's only because she's so much more cuter."

"Likewise."

I opened the door and poked my head out only to see an army of soldiers around us. They had lances with these serrated blades that had a blue tint. I swear I've seen these before somewhere.

"Hello?" I asked them. "I'm looking for..." I pulled out a piece of imaginary paper. "Princess... Luna?" That's it! Way to sound like a professional.

"Guards at ease." asked the princess. She was as tall as Celestia and twice as cute as ever. I booped her on the nose making her laugh. "*giggle* Oh I accept thy challenge!" Well she got her old English voice back and booped me on my nose making me laugh as well.

"Hahaha... I'm here to visit you princess."

"OH it's fine with me Mr..."

"Painkiller. But please call me Grimm." I reached in and pulled out Pinkimina. "And I have a guest with me."

"Pinkie Pie?" asked Luna.

"No It's Pinkimina milady." she said respectfully. I didn't know she had it in her. Then again this isn't Pinkie Pie. This is the murdering 'other' Pinkie Pie. Is it odd that I think this Pinkie is more... how should I put this? Sane. Than the original? Think about it.

"So..." I said looking around the castle. It looked exactly the same except the flag. The flag had a black/midnight blue color for a background with stars all over it and the full moon coming up from the bottom so you would only see about half the moon. I liked it. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well that's my job. I travel and watch over the worlds."

"Oh we see! Like a... um... how did my faithful friend put it. A guardian angel?"

"Yeah. That sounds about right." I just had this feeling like... I don't know... something about this Luna was different from everyone else. My heart rate is 2.3 percent higher and I feel kinda cold. Is she turning me on or is she threatening me? I can't figure it out!

"So mister Grimm." said Luna as we took a seat at the dinner table. "Tell me about thyself."

"I'm the boss."

"Take me through the life as... THE BOSS."

"Well... first... I... Talk to ponies!" Like a boss. "Get held down and forced to try on clothes!" Like a boss. "Fight gods and stuff!" Like a boss. "Make lot's of friends!" Like a boss...

A good minute later

"Ask out Vinyl!" Like a boss. "Get a date." Like a boss. "Get her pregnant." Like a boss...

Another good minute later

"Get murdered!" Like a boss. "As well as dismembered!" Like a boss. "Become a god!" Like a boss. "Kill changelings!" Like a boss. "Find out Vinyl cheated on me with myself!" Like a boss. "Go traveling!" Like a boss. "Find Pinkie!" Like a boss. "Beat up Discord again!" Like a boss. "And here I am!"

"So this is the life of the boss?"

"I'm the boss."

"We heard you say at one time thy were a spy."

"That's right."

"And thy also were a mare that almost got raped by dragons."

"...Nah."

"I definitely heard that."

"Your tripping."

Meanwhile...

"David!" yelled Niko. "I just thought about something!"

"What is it this time?"

"We can get Grimm to take us back to Earth!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you miss the old days like I do."

"But you don't."

"I'm now suffering from computer withdrawal."

"I'm so sorry to do that."

"Speaking of Grimm how long has he been gone?"

"It's been about 25 days."

"Wasn't there something special for him in a few days?"

"I don't know. I kinda forgot."

"Nice one. Nice one 'Hindsight'. I kinda figured that you would be the one to see the problem."

"Don't blame this shit on me!"

"Yeah. Sorry."

Meanwhile...

"Pinkie how long have we been in this world now?"

"About 25 days."

"I lost track of time."

"I'm sure." We looked around at the night stars from the balcony. "When do we go back?"

"Well I kinda wanted to see Nightmare Celestia. Nightmare Sun I would have called her."

"How does that work out?"

"Very carefully."

"Bah! I say bah!"

"Don't you bah me!"

"I just did! Bah!"

"Hmm. Want to go back?"

"Well I'm tired of Luna daydreaming about you."

"What? Pfft... no she isn't."

Flashback 25 days ago...

"Tell me more about thyself." she said fluttering her eyes.

"Well... Captain Crunch is my favorite cereal."

Flashback 20 days ago...

"Pinkie! Have you seen my towel?" I asked looking out the bathroom after taking a shower. All I saw was Luna. "Did you see it?"

"Over on your closet."

"Oh goodie!" I went out without clothes. Luna obviously didn't mind my human form. Honestly no one's really gotten on me about it. I can't hide who I am. "Thanks!"

"Thou is welcome...Mmm..."

"Sorry what was that at the end?"

"I said men. Your all... like that... Hm-pf!" she walked out to cover up her lie.

"Was it something I said?"

Flashback 12 days ago...

"So this scarf of yours can be shaped into anything?" she asked.

"Oh you bet!"

"Can it shape thy heart?" she asked looking kinda sad.

"I don't think that's possible. Do I even have a heart? Pinkie!"

"Yes?"

"Do I have a heart?"

"One way to find out." she said standing up pulling out her knife.

"What art thou doing?!" yelled the freaking out Luna.

"Science!"

Flashback 4 days ago...

"Hmm hmm hm... La la da da... da... sing us the song... of the piano man." I sang to myself while saving.

"Thou looks good with a stubble." said Luna.

"No get rid of it!" said Pinkie. "Here I'll help!"

"AH!" she pulled the knife down giving me a deep cut. "What's the matter with you?!"

"You moved."

"Oh... sorry. Continue please." I let her continue cutting me with it. I really need to stand still more often when she's saving.

Flashback yesterday...

"So thy are going to leave soon?" asked Luna.

"Yeah. We're kinda bored and we really need to get home."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry. I'll be back."

"How does thou know this?"

"Because stopping trouble is what I do. I can almost guaranteed you that Celestia will be back and I don't want to miss that."

"So thou really like my sister is that it?" she asked a little angry.

"Yeah! I can't wait to fight with someone who can control the sun!" she looked at me like I was an idiot. "What?"

"It's nothing. Thou is just so random. You have the spirit of a brave man, the face of a young man, and the mind of an idiot."

"That's... good right?"

"I'd hope so for your sakes." Pinkie and I were on our way out. "Alright! Goodbye! Have fun and please do come back sometime!"

"We will!" I said waving at the princess as we walked inside the Tardis. "She was very kind to us."

End

"I'd say so. How can you be so blind to someone liking you?"

"I'm not blind. I just don't want another relationship yet. There happy?"

"What kind of guy would turn down a princess?"

"The kind of guy who died a month ago, lost his second wife-to-be and his kid, and now spends his days traveling through time and space."

"I think I struck a nerve."

"A sensitive one at that."

"Sorry."

"It's okay Pinkimina."

"Well I think it's time to go home."

"You want to go home?"

"No! I mean *sigh* your home."

"I'm homeless." She gave me this angry stare. "Fine fine. I'm going." I set the controls for my Equestria and prayed for the best. When we stopped moving she walked out first. "Hmm... there appears to be a large amount of not-so happiness coming from outside. Pinkie do you know anything about... Pinkie? Where are you?"

I walked outside of the Tardis hoping another warm welcome from my friends but none of them were here.

"Where is everyone?" asked Pinkimina.

"I know. This isn't really like them. Maybe the Tardis is finally turning down how much noise she makes!"

"I like the sound it makes."

"So do I. It's so... harmonic." I held my axe in my hand while I talked to her. Everywhere I've gone fights have been happening less and less. Maybe my friends were right. I might just be a god for peace and harmony. I went back inside and placed my axe in the armory. I have a metal arm for god's sake! If I get in a fight I can just knock them out instead of killing them. Why haven't I thought of this in the past? Guess that blood lust is finally getting out of my system.

"Grimm you done?"

"Yeah." I said unfolding my helmet. I was picking at the scab on my jaw.

"Ah ah ah no picking. Remember that's your fault."

"You cut me!"

"You moved!"

"I did? Oh... well excuse me then Pinkie. I didn't mean to yell."

"It's okay. You'll learn."

"I hope so."

We walked into the dinning room to see them all waiting around the table lazily. They didn't look at me twice.

"Hey Grimm..." said Niko sounding a bit depressed.

"What's wrong guys?" I asked them.

"Nothing. That's whats wrong!" exclaimed Rainbow. "There's nothing going on!"

"Hmm... sorry to hear that."

"No your not!" started Twilight. Oh lovely. Twilight's the one who can always hit me in the heart. "You always going around different worlds having the time of your life! Your never sorry." Like I said. Lovely.

"Ouch... Hey what day is it?" I asked them.

"June 30th. Why?" asked Celestia. Yeah... guess they forgot. Oh well I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 14. Not like this one's going to affect me any.

"Oh... no reason. Who wants to go out for a walk?" I asked them. None of them were excited. "Movies? Dinner? Arcade? Carnival! No? I never skip the carnival..."

"But this isn't about you." said Rarity. "Name one day of the year when it is about you. Jeez you are always after attention darling."

"Oh... well... uh... today I guess."

"Why would that be?" asked Pinkie Pie. Celestia got up and looked at me worriedly. She knew that there words were hurting me and truthfully... they were starting to.

"I'm so sorry!" said the sun princess. "I completely forgot about it! This is Grimm's special day!"

"Thank you for remembering!" Now I'm in my brighter mood. They all looked at me like they didn't know a thing. "You guys don't know what today is?"

"No." said Applejack. "But it would sure be better if you'd tell us already."

"It's my birthday today. Yay for me!" I said clapping my hands. I was the only one. "Oh... uh no?"

"So human's have birthdays?" asked Twilight.

"Oi!" I pointed to David and Niko. "You celebrated Niko's birthday! I saw it!"

Flashback 12 days ago...

I was outside the window hanging upside down looking through the window as they celebrated for the red pony. He had presents and cake and everything and they didn't even invite me. So I went back to that New Lunar Republic world.

End

"Yeah I remember it pretty clearly." None of them seemed to happy about it. "And no I don't want a party with presents!" I said to them as they all breathed a sigh of relief. Who would want to forget someone's birthday if they were as powerful as me? There just lucky to know that I would never do anything to get revenge. That's not my style. "I just want to hang with my friends."

"So you don't celebrate your birthday?" asked Rainbow.

"Well... I do... but I'm the only one who does."

"Well happy birthday." said Pinkimina. Well at least someone's nice to me today.

"But since you all see so busy to not care about me Pinkimina and I are going out to... hmm... maybe the movies, then the arcade, maybe the carnival?"

"And a bite to eat?"

"Now your thinking! Let's go!" I said grabbing her hand and walking out the door.

Yeah I know. Random chapter of randomness. But don't bitch. I've been so fucking busy. But hey! Great news! Last day of school for a few more years (College sucks). I also watched e3! You know. The Electronic Entertainment Expo. I saw so many great things so here are the one's I'm looking forward too...

1. Halo 4!!! Can you believe it? I know!
2. Assassin's Creed III! That looks so cool!
3. Bioshock Infinite!!! I can not describe how good this game will be. Probable game of the year.

and 4. This one is my personal choice. I can't wait for Dead Space 3!!! *fangirl squeal* Oh my god oh my god oh my god... This game makes my dick rock hard!

And here's some other things I know might end up as awesome as the four above. DmC Devil May Cry (Huge fan of all those games except Devil May Cry 2. That didn't exist.) Tomb Raider. Darksiders II. Transformers: Fall of Cybertron. Borderlands 2 and the Skyrim DLC!

Here are some games I feel... Meh... about. Resident Evil 6. A new Dead Island was announced....(The last one pissed me off so much.) any kinect game (kinect sucks balls.) and they can't just let Mario die. They announced 3 new games for the poor bastard. Dear Mario... I love you but time to take a break. ~Static.

P.S. Dead Space 3!!! Oh I love horror games and science fiction games! This is the best love child of those games.

P.S.S. I can finally get some more chapters up and running. Whoo! Dead Space 3... *gasp* I... can't breathe... (It appears the author has fainted due to awesome shock. He'll be fine when the game is out.)