Honestly enough I have gotten more thumbs up with this story than my first story. It's... different. Feels great. Leave some positive feedback in the comments please.

"So newbie." said the captain of the guard. "You think you have what it takes to be a soldier?"

"Uh... Yes?" I told him.

"Do you have what it takes maggot!"

"I do."

"Are you lean and mean or big and red?"

"That doesn't rhyme."

"You dare backtalk to me!"

"I dare!"

"Agh!"

"AGH!" We spent the next few minutes yelling at each other. I was the bravest out of all the new recruits. How do I know you ask? I wasn't pissing myself like they were.

"*pant pant* I see you have balls." said the captain. "*pant* I like balls."

"Dude. I'm getting married."

"What? Whoa No! nonono!" Hahaha the captain is a homo... Mwahahaha!

"Faggot I am not here to be your new boy scout. I'm here to get my position as the princess private guard."

"Don't you have an issue with that?"

"What issue?"

"No one comes for that job! Are you sure?"

"Yes..." They kicked me out of the training barracks. A helmet with a note on it landed on my head.

"Meet the princess. ASAP!" was what is said. Then they threw some light onyx black leather armor at me. I like it so much better than plate armor. Why? Because Leather doesn't get as cold as steel in the winter. Then I was teleported to the castle.

"Hello Dustin!" said Celestia.

"Oh... hello?" I was still getting use to that whole magic thing. Glad I switched to a pegasus.

"I received word that you shall be Luna and I's personal guard."

"I am. What do I do?"

"We just hang out all day and if need be you fight and kill all of our enemies." she said calmly.

"Easy enough." Why did I say that? Is this going to suck? Probably!

"Glad to hear it. That armor he gave you doesn't look like it's going to help what we need you to do."

"What is it exactly that I'm going to do?"

3 hours later

I was sneaking around Canterlot. I was wearing a tight black and grey spy suit (similar to splinter cell) and I worked with some of the engineering guys to make a pair of goggles. I had night vision, sonic vision, and thermal vision. My favorite was the sonic one because I could see every pony within a small distance.

"This is SHADOW." I said in my earpiece built on the inside of my mask. "I am nearing the target. Orders?" I said stalking a light blue pony with a purple hat and cape with stars on them.

"This pony has been harassing Twilight for years. When your clear knock her out and bring her to me."

"Understood." I spread my wings and quietly jumped on a rooftop. I may not be super fast like Rainbow but I am the quietest flyer here. I watched her quietly and reached into my pocket to pull out the dossier.

'Name: Trixie, aka The Great and Powerful.
Hobbies: being a nuisance and causing issues.
Crimes: one too many fibs and harass of a top priority pony.
Don't fail us SHADOW. We want her alive.

Signed Watcher Dawn.'

Watcher was Celestia's information broker. He keeps intact with me via headset and offers me all assistance on the field.

"Alright SHADOW. I see you. Wait for me to go green then interrogate her."

"Hey Dawn. What did this pony do to Twilight?" I don't remember the show.

"She has sent constant death threats. We don't want this on any pony and especially Celestia's student."

"Understood. Is my light clear?"

"You have the sky." he said. I jumped off the roof and landed on Trixie.

"What gives-" she started to say but I kicked her in the face knocking her out. I swept her up and began my flight.

"Dawn. It appears the Sad and Weak Trixie has taken a bad fall. I think I should bring her to the castle don't you?"

"I don't know. Let's see if we have anymore space... Oh great news! We have plenty of space in the Dungeon. How does that sound?"

"Like a dream vacation come true!" I landed at the window of Dawn's office. "What do you think Dawn?"

"I think she should brag about how much fun we're going to have later."

"Hahaha... Does the branding iron count?"

"Hahahahahaha!" I love Dawn's laugh. It's hard to get him to do it but once you do he instantly becomes your best friend. It's the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in and offer him a beer. But your like me and you drank the beer.

I took off my mask and goggles and placed them in my locker. After I got out of my suit I put on some dull gray work clothes and an apron. I also grabbed a medical face mask. A few hours went by and our guest woke up.

"Where am I? Who dares kidnap the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"I dare." I said in a low monotone voice. We had voice boxes which disguised our voices and made us sound like bad guys.

"Why is Trixie here?"

"Why does Trixie speak in third person?" Dawn asked her.

"Hey WATCHER. Let's give her the old welcome."

"You got it SHADOW." We moved the straps and put Trixie in a bent over position.

"Are you going to rape me?!"

"What? No! God what is with women and fanticising about rape?" I asked Dawn.

"I guess she doesn't know what we're going to do then." He threw me a blowtorch. We both put on Archlight helmets and heated up a branding iron.

"Tell us Trixie why you are harassing ponies or your going to get the best brand of your life." I said heating it up.

"I do it to get my revenge."

"But we saw you lose. Your pathetic."

"Is this about Twilight Sparkle? Trixie hates her guts!"

"Yes we know. We're good friends with her and we don't appreciate that."

"Trixie does not care about your excuses. I shall never give my reasons." Dawn and I looked at each other. He put a gag in her mouth and I stuck the hot brand on her left ass cheek.

"MMMHHHHMMMM!" she tried to scream. Oh your going to love this. We left the brand of a dick on her ass. HAHAHAHA!

"It suit her well!" said Dawn.

"What's that Trixie? You want another? Alright." I began to heat it up again.

"Mmmhhhmmm. Mmmhhhmmm!" Dawn took the gag out. "Enough Enough! I'll tell you. I got a letter from a friends who said he would help me out with Twilight. I just wanted to get her back. That's all!"

"So you get her back by sending her death threats? Why do you want to kill her?"

"Because she ruined my life!"

"No she didn't. The bear did. And I think you should blame those two kids." said Dawn. Damn he knows more than I do.

"Twilight is the only one to blame. Why should Trixie not have her killed?"

"Because she has a family now. A beautiful kid and a great husband. Do you want to fuck up their lives also!" I yelled at her. I guess she didn't know that. Also every pony takes offense to my language. Why? I don't give a fuck!

"Do what you want to Trixie. My associate is already on his way and I can't stop him."

"What's his name Trixie?" I asked her.

"Singing Blade." Dawn gave me a scared look.

"SHADOW that is the best assassin in the world!"

"I'll stop him."

"Can Trixie go?" I put on a pair of shades and threw Dawn a pair. We grabbed a oval silver pen.

"After this." I shinned a light in her eyes making her forget about everything that happened. Dawn used his magic to teleport her to her wagon.

"Oops forgot the hat." he said.

"No I want to keep it." I told him.

"Why?"

"I have a friend who wants to keep this as a trophy."

"Fair enough." Celestia walked in.

"Ah my informant and my new best spy. What information did you uncover?"

"Trixie hired Singing Blade to kill Twilight." Dawn told her. I went to my locker and began to change into my spy armor.

"What are you doing?" Celestia yelled at me.

"Stopping a murder." I said flying out the window. I have to make sure their okay.