Well... my life went from shit to one less friend shitty. I just pissed of this one girl who's been a bitch for a long time and now she's ignoring me and getting an entire school against me. Thing is I'm more popular! We shall start a war! This is... Justice!

'Alpha... I have a question.'

'Shoot away.'

'Alright. Your my conscious so you should have an opinion on this. I think Hindsight made our life better.'

'Well... if losing a bunch of friends counts then yes.'

'Please... they were all dicks anyways.'

'True that. Listen. You got me and Vinyl now.'

'Thanks bud.' I looked at the pale white unicorn beside me looking around the castle with all her friends. I didn't need to pay attention since I knew the place inside and backwards.

"Hey Vinyl." I asked her. "Do you mind if I go to town? I need to check on something." I asked her.

"Sure. Make it back safe." She said. Her friends were to busy eyeballing the castle to notice me leave. I looked around Canterlot. Not as much technology. It was just the peaceful large town from the cartoon. It was... perfect. At least for an old style guy like me.

'Yo Alpha! Since when was everything so...'

'So normal? Look at this shit! Not a single person wants us dead.'

'I know. Is it wrong to mess that?'

'A little. It's just that we're so use to fighting.'

'I think I would be the best gang leader ever.'

'Like the Godfather?'

'Like the Godfather... Only... I would get shit done.' I stopped as I looked at the empty place in front of us.

'Dusty? Wasn't the crib there?'

'It was...' There was nothing! 'there. Alpha. I'm not use to this new life yet.'

'Let's just enjoy it.'

'Thanks buddy.' I decided to look around and see if anything is different.

Let's see...

1. No coffee shop! What! Where am I suppose to get my Joe!

2. I didn't see any griffons or stallions. Great. Not even a war for me to take place in.

3. No one recognized me.

'I feel like Ezio right now.' I said to Alpha.

'Tell me about it. I just thought of something.'

'What?'

'We've been here for... a few days. And you just made a move on Vinyl. Hindsight is fucking the princess on day one of their date.'

'Damn! He does move fast!'

'That's what I'm saying! I've never seen fast love.'

I stopped walking because this large wagon randomly appeared in front of me.

"Watch were your walking!" yelled the blue pony controlling it. The wagon unpacked into a stage of sorts and she came out wearing a hat and cape with stars on it. Yep. Trixie.

"Ello." I said calmly.

"Whats the big idea? Are you trying to mess with the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"Why do you speak in third person."

"Trixie doesn't know what your talking about."

"See? Their you go again."

"Whatever. Trixie doesn't need to waste her time with an idiot like you." Oh no she didn't! That does it. I walked over to her wagon and saw this one big screw between the wheel axles. She's going to need that.

'Thinking of what I'm thinking?' I asked the voice in my head.

'Do it. I've always hated Trixie.'

'Yeah. I mean she's cool and all but too... boastful.'

I grabbed the screw when she wasn't near me and walked away casually.

"Enjoy your stay Trixie." I said out loud.

"Trixie doesn't need your advice. Humph." She turned her head and got back on her wagon. "All I need is some groceries then I'm of to Ponyville." She said a little out loud. Loud enough for me to hear... How far back in time am I?

'Alpha... I think we're at the beginning of season 1.'

'I can't remember. Too many ponies.'

"AAAGGGHHH!" I turned to watch the wagon go flying down hill and make it's way to Ponyville. Then the wheels popped off and it sled down hill. The entire town was quiet.

'PFFFT! BWAHAHAHAHA!' I looked at the laughing black and red pony on my shoulder. "What? That's old humor!'

'Now that I think of it. It is funny... Let's get to the castle. There must be something we can do there.'

'Good plan man.' He said putting his arms behind his head and summoning a floating hammock to lay in. 'You do that.'

A few minutes of walking later... Wait... Can't I teleport? God I'm an idiot. Whatever! I went to the castle and made it in time for dinner. I didn't really like it. When I want a dinner... I want a small table with me and my friends in it. Not 20 fucking people I don't know! Also I had to leave Alpha in my room. He still kept the small pony form on my shoulder though.

"Bass." said Celestia. "These are guest."

"And so are we." I said back moving back in my seat. When I did Luna smacked me in the back of the head. "Ow!"

"Sit up and proper." she said.

'I thought she was the nice one.' said Alpha holding his head. There were tears in his cartoon eyes as well as mine.

"Sorry." She whispered to Alpha. Well... If they can read my mine than they should be able to see my little... uh... other me.

"Whatever." I told her. Then I made eye contact with Prince Blueblood across the table.

"Uh... what a ruffian. Auntie why are such country ponies here?"

"Are you saying you take insult to my new lover." said Celestia a little harshly to him and patting Sight on the back.

"No. Sorry." He went back to eating his soup. I looked down at mine. What was this? It's like... green... piss. That's it. No meat or vegetables.

"What is this?" I asked using my spoon playing with it.

"Soup." said Vinyl beside me. She was eating it very lady like. I can't eat this! I need real food!

"Honestly. What is wrong with you?" asked Blueblood.

"Oh so much. So very very much."

"Well... I take it that one as ugly as you must eat something ugly as well." The entire room went silent.

"Oh no he didn't..." I started to get up but Celestia stopped me. "What are you doing!"

"No fighting at the table." She said pushing me back in my seat.

'GGRRRR! ALPHA!'

'I know! Let's teach this fuck a lesson!' I looked down the table as everyone continued to eat their soup. I used my magic to take the spoons they weren't using. Under the table I was building a miniature catapult. I heard Tia and Luna giggle. They know what's up.

"Napkin please." I asked Luna and she handed me one. I took it, balled it up, and stuck it in the soup. I used my magic to put all the liquid inside the ball and then load it in the catapult.

"Hey Blueblood. Use this to clean up." I said shooting at him and watching it explode on impact. Everyone looked at him. "Hahahahaha!" I was the first to laugh. Then shortly some of the others began to laugh. Then the entire room busted out.

"Guards! Attack that freak!" he ordered some of the guards at me.

"Uh oh. Clementine!" I yelled holding my hoof out and the guitar came towards me like Thor's hammer did to him. I grabbed it and held it upside down. "Come on guys. Stand down." I said to them.

'Why Clementine?" asked Alpha.

'Well... what if I have more than one conscious? How would he or she feel?'

'Good point.'

"Let's see what you got little man." said the Captain. Hey... he was the homo from before. Hehehe...

"Fine." The bottom of the V shaped guitar formed into an axe making everyone gasp. "That's right people! My guitar is alive!" One of the guards went for a stab but I parried it and kicked him back. The Captain and two others jumped at me and I turned Alpha into two small swords deflecting them all.

'So Alpha. Your a shape sifting weapon.'

'Yes. But my true form is the guitar.'

'Either way your badass.'

'Really?! Thanks!'

I put one of the swords in the ground and lifted my self up kicking the two minor guards in the face. It was just me and the Captain.

"Alright homo." I said to him.

"How did you know?"

"I know everything!" I yelled putting the swords together making a hammer and knocking him upside the head with it.

"WHOO! That's right! Oh yeah! I still got it!" I looked over at Blueblood. "You just picked a fight with the best. Ready to give up?" He whimpered and nodded his head up and down. I turned to my friends who didn't move from the table. "Sorry guys."

"That was awesome!" they all yelled. I turned to look at Celestia and Hindsight.

"Dinner and a show! Marvelous!" said Celestia. Okay. It's official. I like this Tia better than the other. Hindsight couldn't stop laughing at Blueblood who was in a fetal position.

"I must say. Where does one learn to fight like that?" asked Luna. "When Tia and I were younger we were warriors but never that good."

"It's nothing. I'm just a boy from Ireland." I said calmly. I went to the guards and helped them all up. "Y'all okay?"

"Yeah!" they all said happily. "I haven't felt a rush like that in.. forever!" said the youngest one.

"Dude! You have to teach us some moves!" said the muscular one.

"Alright... alright. I'll teach you guys the moves to become champions." They all threw their heads up and cheered. This is great. I get to see the world anew. Now with more friends. I wonder... what am I going to about the mane 6?

'We could auction them as sex slaves.' said Alpha.

'What what WHAT!' I said back to him.

'Relax. We'll visit them later.' I felt my stomach growl.

'Kinda wish I ate that piss soup by now.' I said to him. I turned to look at my friends again.

"Guys. I need real food. If you need me I'll be getting pie." I told them.

"From who?" asked Vinyl.

"The best." I said closing my eyes and teleported to Ponyville. I looked around to see I was at Sweet Apple Acres.

Sorry but this was as far as I could type for a while. It's been... 2 days I think since I could get something uploaded. Sorry. Just wanted to throw this out here. I shall continue the story now.

Alright... Now!

"Hello." I said to the hard working orange pony on my left. She wiped her brow and then looked at me.

"Howdy partner." She said in her accent. Alright. I can handle Applejack's accent. But not Big Mac's. Not at all. I mean I was raised on a farm and all. We'll... not an apple farm. More like... potato farm. Potatoes rule!

"Just came by to visit." I told her.

"Have we met before? I don't think we have."

"Honestly we have. I came here to visit Granny Smith."

"You know my granny?"

"I know everything." I said walking towards the farm. "I'm Bass by the way."

"Applejack. I swear we've never had a Bass here in these parts before." PFFT! Which parts we speaking about? Hehehe... "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Nothing. I was here before though. I remember you were young and didn't have your parents around."

"You know about that?"

"I know everything." I stopped at the door and knocked. Applebloom was the one who greeted me.

"Howdy mister."

"Howdy kid. Can I speak to Apple Smith?" I asked her.

"Who?"

"Your grandma."

"Oh! Granny Smith!" She took off and came back a half a second later with the old pony.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

"You should. It's me... Ash. I fell out of the sky one day. You brought me in and gave me pie."

"Burning Ash!" she said. "Alright every pony! Supper time!" she started ringing a bell so Big Macintosh would come in.

1 hour later

*Burp* Best pie ever.

"Thanks Smith." I said.

"You didn't tell us why you changed your name though."

"We'll I have many names. You see when I came forward in time..." Yes I told them what happened. What? I had to. "Time wasn't the only thing that changed. This time I changed. Then one day I accepted my sins and my guitar here came out of my soul."

"What sins?" asked Applejack.

"What are sins?" asked Applebloom.

"Cover your ears little sis." said Big Mac. Bloom did as was told and covered her small ears.

"Let's see. I killed... I'm a little greedy... a tad bit of a glutton... and the last one's a bit personal."

"What?" asked Big Mac. "What is it?"

"*sigh* In a way I committed adultery."

"Why would you do something like that?" asked Applejack.

"Well Kay died a long time ago! And I just met someone else."

"Then that doesn't count as a sin." said Applejack. Well the ghost of Kay would disagree. I wander what the fuck is she doing now? Oh yeah! Fucking my brother.

"Your right. She's the one doing the sinning." I looked at Bloom. "You can take your hooves off." I said. She didn't understand me. I made a motion for her to move them and she followed it.

"Oh well. I just thought of something." said Applejack.

"What?" I asked her.

"If your in the past some way then you didn't commit those sins."

"Well... that's true and not true. I did do those. The future me didn't. The only thing I can hope for is that he never comes here."

"Why? Was their something different?" asked Applejack.

"No." All my friends are dead. Yeah something's different. "Not a thing. We'll it's been good being here... but I need to get home."

"You have a place?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Yeah. A friend helped me out. By guys." I said teleporting back to the castle. When I got there I was in a hallway of some sort. "Uh..."

"There you are!" said Vinyl. "I thought you ran away."

"Ran away? It's only been an hour."

"Right... but It's almost 11 o'clock. I need some sleep."

"Me as well. Full belly. Tired body. 'Nuff said." She used her magic to pick me up and begin walking. "Oh my..."

"Shhhh. The others are asleep." We went beside a room showing the Hooves couple in a bed holding each other and another room with Octavia in it. I didn't see Lyra nor Bon-Bon.

"Here we are." We made our way into our room. Well... she carried me. "Thanks."

"Welcome."

"Guess Sight and the princess got a room."

"You guessed right." She cut on the light in the bathroom and placed her glasses on the counter. Her red eyes were a little bloodshot but that's because we're tired. "I need some rest." I used my magic to levitate her. "Whoa! Hahaha! Bass!"

"How do you like it?" I asked her.

"I love it! Oh but put me down! I'm tired!"

"Too tired to play?"

"Too tired to play." I put her on the bed. "Thank you kindly." She said wrapping herself up in blankets.

"No prob." I jumped onto the bed beside her. "Whoa! I haven't had a bed this soft in... like ever!"

"It's very *yawn*... nice..." said Vinyl starting to close her eyes. I wrapped myself up and pulled her towards me.

"Get some sleep..."

"Thanks." She kissed me on the cheek and went to sleep.

'Whoo! First kiss!' said Vinyl.

'I'm just the best at romance.'

'Why didn't you choose Heartthrob as our pony name?"

"We'll One: I had a guitar tattooed on my rump. Two: You are a guitar who came out from inside of me. If I was this Heartthrob then guess what would have come out.'

'Why you gotta be like that?'

'Good night Alpha.' I closed my eyes and felt sleep take me away.