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Incoherent rage-y noises

Chapter 71

Dappled wondered if perhaps he should attempt to sneak out of the room, given how dark the mood had become. The grizzled old veteran of a Unicorn had an expression of shock and disbelief on his face, while Princess Celestia had gone gray and refused to speak ever since the letter from Canterlot Command had arrived. And the infernal buzzing in his head, that had started when he had entered the lushly-appointed room, larger than small unit he rented out back at the border, and made it difficult for Dappled to focus on their questions.

The teasing he’d endured ever since the two Royal Guards had mistaken his intention to teach Scout that her affectionate nature could be taken the wrong way had only escalated to the point where the hapless Border Guard had been ordered to come to the Princess’s private quarters and explain himself.

And then a messenger had come stumbling in, pale-faced, to deliver a decoded letter from Ponyville right after Dappled Light had explained himself to the best of his ability and was considering his options, which appeared to be limited to being throttled by the good Captain, dying of shame from the expression the Princess wore like a mask after learning of his masturbation habits, or more preferably, throwing himself out the window to a merciful release from this living hell.

“Errr, your majesty, Captain, should I leave? This … seems like a bad time for me to be here.” Dappled ventured in the smallest voice he felt a Guard should use, loosening his grip on his ability, allowing the power to flow out and make himself seem so utterly insignificant he could possibly just walk up and out of the room … and maybe Equestria itself. Maybe I can just walk to Mulexico and make a living as a fruit-picker or something. Somewhere an anyonmous pony with no real talent can just disappear safely...

Dappled wasn’t entirely sure his heart had been prepared to see the Princess look so … crushed by something as simple as a letter especially not after seeing the look of banked fury and contempt she had been emotionally bludgeoning him with just a few minutes before.

“No, Private Dappled, I will ask that you remain.” Still looking awful, the Princess gave him a searching look. “And I will ask you do not use your ability on me. Now that I know you are an Empath, your ability can no longer hide your presence from my power, and attempting to use it so does not inspire confidence.”

“I … apologise, your majesty, it’s just that I’m only a Border Guard. If you’ve received news of the kind that can make a Princess look so concerned, should I even be in the room? I can’t possibly have the clearance for anything of that level of importance.” Dappled squirmed in place as he mentally ‘grabbed’ his ability and tightened his ‘grip’ until he could barely feel a trickle of power escaping his grasp, torn between the need to grovel and apologise for, well, everything, and the urge to vomit from the tension twisting his guts into knots and the throbbing headache the buzzing sensation in his head was causing.

“Regarding your posting, consider yourself re-assigned to Canterlot on special orders until the situation with the Changelings warrants other actions.” Dawn Ray growled, giving Dappled a look that made the brow-beaten Border Guard attempt to assume parade-stance while sitting down, purely on instinct. “While we do believe your story about the Changeling, Scout, your actions at the border were hardly the conduct expected of a Guard, Border or Royal. We should all be grateful that the Changeling Queen isn’t leveraging the potential scandal towards her own ends, and we still don’t know if she’s merely holding that ace up her sleeve until she needs something we’re unwilling to give.”

“If … if that happens, Sir, I’m fully prepared to fall on my own sword, if that’s what it takes to salvage the situation. Let’s be honest, I’m terrified the Changeling called Scout is actually a complete innocent and is being manipulated by her Queen to be some sort of cat’s paw, and your Magi creep me out.” Dappled Light replied, feeling an odd sense of annoyance warring with his guilt and shame as Dawn Ray looked down at him with a sneer splayed across the old stallion’s muzzle. How often did some stallion just like this ignore me when I was growing up? Just because of my stupid gift … a gift that I now know ponies like him were supposed to be on the lookout for!

“Dare I ask why my Magi ‘creep you out’?” Celestia said in a dejected tone, giving Dappled a look that just screamed ‘what else has gone wrong’. Panic and his growing headache propelled Dappled into speaking his mind. After all, what else can they do to me right now?

“Well, your Highness, it’s just that all of a sudden, all these important, successful ponies are wanting me to be their friend, show them how ‘strong’ I can be, all that shi … stuff. Perhaps I’m just being petty and bitter here, but where were they when it really counted, when I was a colt barely able to function on my own in society when my Cutie Mark appeared, and I suddenly developed this ‘gift’ you’re all gushing over after hiding from a pack of bandits who came boiling out of the Badlands to steal all of our food and water? Everypony but my foster-parent seemed to forget I even existed overnight, and not one missing poster or search party was formed when nopony could ‘see’ me anymore.” Dappled snapped, glaring back at Dawn Ray, who blinked and leaned back in his seat, mouth opening into a small ‘o’ of surprise, and Celestia’s face furrowed further into a deep frown. “I spent years being ignored by everypony around me, even when my foster parent stood up for me again and again, for no reason I could figure out until I nearly died from neglect when my parent fell ill and was moved to Canterlot for treatment, and I realized I had to suppress my gift with everything I had just to get ponies who had known me my whole life to realize I was deathly ill myself, right in their midst and screaming for them to help me at the top of my lungs before they finally remembered I existed and asked where I’d been all this time!”

“Why, for the love of Faust herself, did nopony not look up the school records and notice there was a student who had suddenly disappeared from the rost for several years? Or the medical records? Or to investigate the house they’d been asked to look after and then locked me out of the moment my parent disappeared? Why did none of scores of Ponies make a single report when a child who had been deeply involved with their own families for years disappeared without a trace in their midst, and why did nopony every follow up the irregularity of the situation when my parent died of her illness in Canterlot and our relationship as a family was a matter of public record? Or do the Royal Guards and Agents only do their work in Canterlot, where the donuts are fresh and they can get a nice little pat on the head from their fat-arsed Princess?”

There was silence for several seconds before the reality of the situation caught up to Dappled, and he all but shoved both fore-hooves into his mouth in shock and horror at what he’d just said in-front of the Princess and the highest military authority in the land, both of whom were technically his bosses … and the buzzing in his head stopped.

“Finally, we get to the root of your abilities, the reason why your power expresses itself the way it does.” Celestia said in a quiet voice, giving Dappled a look of pity now. “Empaths such as yourself, Dappled Light, tend to come into their power during moments of intense emotional distress, specifically negative emotions. I had … intended to be far more gentle with my probing, but your interactions with the Changelings, and this awkward situation with Scout the Changeling has forced my hoof.”

A gilded, armored hoof pushed forwards an ostentatious-looking knick-knack that had been sitting on the long, low coffee-table between the chairs, and Dappled belatedly realized the six-sided pyramid of lead-grey metal was covered with angular, sharp-edged runes that were glowing with a dull, sickly blue-green energy that was slowly fading away to nothing.

“Guard …, no, we’re beyond titles and position now. Son, I’ll be blunt with you. The last Empath the Royal Guard faced was a hundred and thirty years ago, and that Mare needed long-term and repeated physical contact to make a Pony like her. The only reason we found her was because the Royal Agents of that era were investigating several incidents of ponies going missing after hiring a wandering family of vagabonds and, specificially, letting them stay on the property at the time. It turned out she was a very loney, very twisted mare who’d grown up in an abusive situation, and had been kidnapping Ponies who had been nice to her as she travelled the country and was confining them in their own homes and then … conditioning them to be the kind of Ponies she believed a loving family was supposed to be like.” Dawn Ray leaned forwards and pulled a dome of lead, capped with a large, plain ball ontop, and placed it over the pyramid, blocking the light from the sickly-looking runes, and the faint headache that remained after the relic, and the buzzing it had caused in Dappled’s skull, disappeared along with all hint of the six-sided pyramid.

“It took Happy Home weeks to usurp her victims sense of self and remake their identities to suit her twisted impressions of ‘family’, and she needed the aid of her older victims to keep her newer ones docile enough to make the mindwashing stick. You, on the other hoof, are so powerful, and untrained, that you make Ponies ignore your presence at a range of up to thirty feet without even trying, and if you do try to control your ability, you can make yourself all but invisible even if you walk right in-front of a pony and open a door or move an object that they themselves are interacting with and they do not react to the changes in their enviroment.” Dawn Ray continued, showing Dappled a very tired and bleak expression that quelled the fury that had been bubbling up inside the young Border Guard at being manipulated so. “You don’t need to touch a pony to make your ability work, or talk to them or use magic on them. In short, you’re the most dangerous Empath the Royal Guard has encountered in over a thousand years, and one of the most powerful of your kind on record. We had to be sure we weren’t dealing with a very powerful and careful monster who had worked its way into our ranks to avoid suspicion, rather than just a very young stallion with a … unfortunate talent for doing exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time.”

“It is a testimony to your nature that you’ve never abused your gift for personal gratification at another’s expense, or to pursue revenge or some other vile ambition. While your actions during your stint as a Border Guard were … regrettable, they may be atoned for.” The Princess fixed Dappled with a searching look that immediately reminded him of Candy Apple, and then she gave him a small smile. “Make no mistake, your role as a Border Guard is over. Your new role will be undergoing intense training to master your natural gift and personal attention from Dawn Ray here to bring your mind and body up to the level required to be a Royal Guard, and if in the process I use your existence as a goad to encourage my Royal Agents to pay more attention to such situations, then so be it.”

“I’m … going to be a Royal Guard?” Dappled squeaked in horror, clutching himself with two spit-wetted forehooves.

“Most Ponies would jump at the honor.” Dawn Ray grumbled unhappily, before Celestia leaned over and shoved the old warhorse with a wing.

“And most Ponies don’t have an autonomous power that compels everyone around them to ignore their existence.” Celestia pointed out. “While I would normally perform the ritual binding oaths over several weeks, the information I have just received precludes such formalities.”

“Wait … wait wait wait. How can you know I’ve never used my abilities to hurt others? And don’t I get a say in this? A Royal Guard? I have to focus just to get Ponies to notice me, and you want me to be the kind of pony who barks orders and gets up in everyone’s face?” The former Border Guard spluttered, alternating between bouts of twitching panic and shuddering denial.

“The relic you were just exposed to is a … very old device from before the arrival of your people across the Dragonspine Mountains, a relic from a time very long ago, known as the Age of Tragedy. If you had been the kind of pony who would intentionally harm others, the runes would have glowed a very strong blood red. If you had ever attempted to use your gift to … abuse others while they remained ignorant of your presence, it would have glowed purple and leaked green fluid. Needless to say, if you had been so inclined, we would not be having this discussion and my maids would have been bemoaning the unexplained ash-stains on my favourite tea-couch.” Celestia raised a cup of tea to her lips and took a delicate sip as Dappled felt the blood drain from his face at his Princess and supreme Overlord discuss eradicating him on the spot like she was talking about the weather. “There is a great deal more to the device, but suffice to say, you passed the test of integrity with flying colours. Most Ponies don’t notice the damned thing with my chambers already cluttered with ancient, enchanted knick-knacks, and it has helped me learn to guage a Pony’s true nature at a glance many times over the millenia. As such, I believe you will serve wonderfully as a Royal Guard, especially once you eventually take up your post at Princess Twilight’s side as one of her stalwart defenders.”

Dappled whimpered and folded up into as small a shape as an adult pony could muster, and Dawn Ray merely coughed and looked dismayed.

“Speaking of which, we really should send a courier to pack up your belongings and bring them to Canterlot. I think if we allowed you to return home, Private Dappled, you’d probably make a run for the border to escape.” The acting Captain of the Royal Guard said in a tired voice as Dappled did his best impression of a Chihuahua in the middle of winter, shuddering and shivering as the young Unicorn sat with his tail coiled around his hooves, with a horrified expression gripping his young face. “Anything we need to know about, lad? I’ll send one of my more reliable boys out to pack your stuff up, but anything, ah, contraband will have to be destroyed. Royal Guards are held to the highest of standards, after all.”

Dappled merely pointed a hoof at his Princess and squeaked wordlessly, yet somehow conveying an intense panic and fear of the smiling, serene Alicorn seated on the other side of the coffee-table.

For several moments the tableau held, before Dawn Ray turned again to the Princess and said “Your Radiance, could you give us a minute?”

Princess Celestia turned, for her own part, and gave her acting Captain a wan look. “Despite what some Ponies may think, I am hardly some dainty maiden aunt, to be gently escorted from the room when the conversation takes a turn away from pure topics. I very much doubt young Dappled here has anything worse than a few pornographic novels and some salacious magazines stashed at his home, the same as many ponies do, both in and outside of the Guards.”

Private Dappled’s desperate, high-pitched whine of distress continued, and Dawn Ray’s expression turned stony.

“Oh, very well. Stallions.” Celestia sighed dramatically, putting her teacup down delicately and trotting away to a set of double-doors on the far side of the tea-room. “Please, Captain, do tell me when it is fine for me to return to my tea-room in my own castle.”

“As you will, Radiance.” Captain Dawn Ray said with all due gravity as Princess Celestia scoffed and too-delicately-to-be-called-slamming shut the door behind her. “Alright, Dappled, what are we talking here? Something serious, or just humiliating? The Harmonic Pyramid has never failed to pick up the rotten traits in a Pony’s personality before, but you are an Empath, and we’ve never tried to put an Empath and a Relic from the Age of Tragedy together in the same room before.”

It took Dappled a few moments to stop his panicked whining noises and manage to use proper equish, but he finally untangled his tongue and unburied his courage.

“Mag … magazines, sir. Pornographic ones, to be specific …”

“Lad, I hardly doubt that the Princess is going to be upset. You should see some of the stuff that turns up in the monthly clean-ups of the barracks, and Princess Celestia barely lifts an eyebrow at some of the stuff that turns up when she does her random inspections.”

“Magazines … involving the Princesses, sir, or rather actors dressed up like them. Both of them. At the same time.”

Dawn Ray lifted a greying eyebrow and said “… Uh-huh?”

“Uhm … they’re very … explicit. And the actors portray sisters who are … uncommonly close.”

“Considering what you mentioned doing to Scout the Changeling, I doubt … wait, son, back up a moment. Are you telling me you have copies of the banned Playcolt magazine featuring Extra Thicc and Nightly Nookie, two of the most prolific porn-stars in Equestria to play the roles of our Princesses in an incestuous relationship?”

“Errr … yes. And the Rustler issue #257. And Pretty Haunches, Spring Edition from last year. I … may have a thing for sisters with big backsides.”

“Well son, I’m not sure if I should yell at you for harbouring impure thoughts about our Princesses, or yell at you for besmirching such irreplaceable treasures to all stallion-kind.” Dawn Ray growled, but his muzzle split into a thin, almost tense grin. “I will say this, once you begin your training as a Royal Guard, that kind of thinking and that kind of … reading material … will be strictly off-limits.”

“I … I would have thought you would be enraged, sir.”

“I’m not so old that I don’t remember what it’s like to have a fire in your loins when a lovely Mare with a plot thick enough to bounce cannonballs off walks past with a spring in her step, but as a Guard, Royal, Border or otherwise, you must be able to separate work from pleasure.” The greying war-horse’s grin turned broader and more toothy as Dawn Ray leaned across to lift his coffee cup with a hoof, only to pause over a faintly glowing crystal on the coffee-table. “Odd, what’s this then?”

Both Stallions felt their manes stand on end as a faint, soft kreeeeek reached their ears, both Dawn Ray and Dappled turning slowly to look at the doorway where Celestia had left not too long ago, where the Princess’s head had now re-emerged into the room, wearing an indescribable but absolutely terrifying expression of outrage, with a twin to the glowing crystal on the coffee table held up to her ear.

“Well. Bugger me then.” Dawn Ray said bluntly as Celestia’s eyes began to glow with an inner flame. “I suppose now is a good as time as any for the beginning of your lessons, Dappled. Let me give you some advice that allowed me to survive this job long enough to become a veteran.”

Unable to look away from the slowly-intruding Angel of Death wearing Princess Celestia’s form that was incrementially pushing itself into the room, Dappled leaned over and hoarsely asked “What?”, praying for some sage wisdom that could somehow save them both from the implacable doom bearing down on them, praying he could hear those words over the thundering of his own heart in his ears.

As the seconds ticked by and Celestia had almost entirely entered the room, Dappled jumped as he heard a loud bang, flicking his eyes away from the vision of his own well-earned death to where Dawn Ray should have been sitting on the opposite side of the coffee table and saw … an open window, with the last hairs of Dawn Ray’s white-streaked tail whipping in the air as the aging warhorse threw himself out of the fourth storey window with the beginnings of a flight spell swirling around his horn.

Feeling oddly betrayed and more than a little bit annoyed that he hadn’t thought of it first, Dappled flicked his eyes back to the doorway … and found himself almost eyeball-to-eyeball with the Princess’s furious face.

“They have magazines about my sister and I doing what, my little pony?” Celestia snarled, her mane and tail now blazing infernos of beautiful golden and red flames, her armor gleaming like molten metal as spikes and razor-sharp edges began to emerge from her Regalia to match the disposition of the Princess as her fury and will pressed down on Dappled like a mountain.

Dappled's response was a terrified squeak, before fainting dead away on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight gave Luna a funny look as the Lunar Princess’s head shot up and turned in the direction of Canterlot, the two Princesses elbow-deep in farm-work to help prepare the Apples for Applejack’s absence over the next few days, while Big Mac, Soarin and Snowflake, or Bulk Biceps as he preferred to be called in public, went over the more arduous tasks.

Twilight hadn’t had the heart to explain she was probably stronger than Big Mac right now, and Luna hadn’t been willing to let Twilight prove it either.

“Luna, is everything alright?” Twilight whispered. What if the Mother of Stones had arrived early? What if some new threat had emerged from the past that modern Equestria was ill-prepared for because of Celestia’s alterations to their history.

“My sister is … incredibly angry, Twilight. I think the world just heated up by a degree or two.” Luna replied in a soft voice, blinking nervously.

“Is it another threat?”

“No no, I don’t believe so. But I do think we might want to tread carefully around my sister tomorrow. Her control shouldn’t slip like this, not wearing that much of her Regalia.”

“So I don’t ask the hard-hitting questions then?” Twilight said snippily, scowling at Canterlot and wondering if the blurring in the air was due to the distance or the supposed fury of her mentor that Luna could ‘detect’. “And how … oh. Oh, I just felt that … how come nopony else can see this ...”

“You are an Ascending Alicorn, Twilight, so I’m not surprised, but Mortals cannot see beyond the scope of their limitations, while we, sadly, are afforded no such mercies.” Luna murmured as the two Alicorns turned their full attention to Canterlot, seeing with eyes that no Mortals could match the flowing, surging, furious waves of power that raged outwards from a certain tower in Canterlot Castle. “But yes, let us both be rather judicious in our arguments with my sister tomorrow, I’ve no desire for my sister to banish us both to Ponyville for longer than a year because we happened to prod a recent wound to her dignity or sense of propriety.”

“She wouldn’t do that, right?”

“If you really do believe that she wouldn’t, then I have several promising craters on the moon to sell you, dear Twilight.”