Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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SO. MUCH. CLOP. .... In the next chapter.

PUT DOWN THOSE PITCHFORKS!

In all seriousness, I wasn't entirely sure if I should put this chapter up, given the situation and the relationships of the characters involved, but I decided at the end to go ahead with it because it helps set a ... social tone? A social tone for future shenanigans involving Ponies and how they view other races, and how the other races view Ponies.

For reference, in-case people missed it in previous chapters, Ponies are amongst a handful of races in Equestria that don't suffer the debilitating effects of inbreeding, but they do have a certain social stigma towards inbreeding that is curiously absent towards Noble Ponies, as there are laws that the Noble Houses have fought for over centuries of political reform, laws that are basically legalization of near-institutionalized levels of inbreeding to keep the original Bloodlines pure, both of inter-Tribal mingling and mixing with 'Common' bloodlines.

I do not recommend, nor approve, of incest in any way, shape or form. The damage it can do to families and individuals cannot be overstated, even in a consensual relationship, let alone the wealth of genetic abnormalities or health-issues the offspring of such relationships often suffer.

And now I'll step off my soap-box and leave you all to it.

CHAPTER 40

“Mmmm ….” Applejack mumbled happily around her mouthful of cake, savouring the richness of the chocolate cake, the fluffiness and mellowness of the cream and the cloying sweetness of the caramel sauce.

Dang, the Cakes really put themselves out to make this thing on such short notice! The farmpony thought to herself, not a little bit guiltily, as she swallowed her mouthful and took another chunk off her slice with a fork, grinning as she saw the Cutiemark Crusaders forcing themselves to slow down after Granny Smith had warned them that they’d only get a single slice if they acted like pigs at the table.

Granny Smith, bless her old heart, had put on a fancy meal for the girls, and Rainbow, even though Applejack knew it might mean the family lived lean for a few days until the next payment from Filthy Rich came through, but the old Mare would sooner live on hay and ‘rejected’ apples than allow a guest to go hungry.

‘Course, if Princess Celestia does send me those bits … Applejack found herself thinking of things she’d long since convinced herself they didn’t need. A more modern kitchen, a reliable water-heater for the shower that didn’t need a kick and a prayer in the morning to deliver hot water, maybe an actual television for the family room, rather than the old radio that had held pride of place longer than either Applejack or Mig Mac had been alive. And we’d have more than enough bits left over even after fixin’ up the house an’ replacin’ all them old tools we’ve been keepin’ workin’ with spit’n’twine. Enough to see Applebloom going to school for years to come if we don’t get greedy. Enough to hire farm-hands so Big Mac an’ myself can take a day off every now an’ again.

The sums kept appearing in her head, and Applejack grinned as much from the delicious cake as the thought of actually having spare bits in her pocket the next time she saw a pretty dress in windows of Rarity’s boutique, rather than having to say she didn’t need any frippy foo-foo stuff. Big Mac might actually have the bits to take Fluttershy out on a proper date and they could finally stop beating around the bush …

Heck, she might even be able to take time off the farm and finish her own education …

“Oh. My. Glorb.” The entire Apple family couldn’t help but laugh as Rainbow Dash mumbled in delight around her giant mouthful of cake, her wings quivering in the air and her eyes crossing, holding the fork between her hooves like it was a holy relic.

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac added, taking another mouthful of his own dessert, the large Stallion’s mouth curling up into a rare smile as the taste of the treat tickled his tastebuds.

“Sooooo gooooooood!” The Cutiemark Crusaders cooed in unison, the spoons wiggling around in their mouths as eager little tongues cleaned every scrap of cake off the utensils before they attacked their slices again, although Sweetie Belle gave Applejack a sly look. “Applejack, you’ve gotta save my sister more often!”

“Hey, yeah, we could arrange that! Cutiemark Crusader Rescue Arrangers!”

“Aaaaaw heck no.” Big Mac retorted, giving all three heads of the Crusaders a gentle ‘bop’ with his hoof as they started yammering at each other about arranging situations for Ponies to ‘rescue’ each other. “Ah don’t reckon Ponyville’s prepared for that kind of shenanigans.”

This is good. Just me, my family, my friend and a good meal. Applejack sighed happily, carving off another mouthful of cake and devouring it with a big smile spreading across her face. Ah know the Princess will make good on those bits, an’ we’ve had a bumper crop this year. Finally things are startin’ to look up for the Apples again!

“Whoo, this cake’s a bit rich for my old gums.” Granny Smith sighed, pushing her half-eaten slice away with a wry smile on her face.

“Do you want me to wrap it up for later, Granny?” Applejack offered as Rainbow and Big Mac set about cutting up smaller slices for the Crusaders, who appeared to be nearly vibrating in their seats at the prospect of a second serving.

“Heh, naw sweetie, you finish it off if you want. Ahm … gonna turn in early, ifn’ it’s all the same to you.” The old Mare said in a soft, quiet voice, her eyes trailing from Applejack, to the Crusaders, then to Big Mac and Rainbow Dash, who were grinning at the Crusaders and their argument about who could eat more of the cake.

“Y’okay, Granny?”

“Jus’ … jus’ tired is all, Jackie. Old an’ tired an’ … worn out these days. Did’ya talk to the Princess yet?” The old Mare’s voice took on an edge as she fixed Applejack with a stern look, to which the farm-pony grinned.

“Had a bit of a pow-wow with Twi an’ Princess Luna early this morning, Granny Smith, before everythin’ went to the dogs. Twi told me to jus’ write a letter an’ she’d get Spike to send it later. Got it waitin’ at the library as we speak for, I jus’ wanted Twi to check it for spellin’ mistakes a’fore it goes.” Applejack couldn’t help but grin as the old mare rolled her eyes in mock-disgust. “She’s a Princess, Granny. Can’t be sendin’ her no letter wit’ mistakes in it now, not with what we’re askin’ for!”

“Pfffft, it’s the princess, ah think she’d be more’n happy to get a letter from any o’ her friends. Even if you are askin’ for the bits you’re owed.”

“Bits an’ tellin’ her jus’ what we’d be usin’ it for.”

“They’re your bits, y’silly filly!”

“Maybe, but ah turned ‘em down b’fore, Granny. Might be Celestia gave ‘em to somepony else who needed ‘em. Think it be proper to let her know why we be wantin’ ‘em now, don’t you think?”

“Meh … if’n you think that’s best, then you do that. I’m too old to worry about those kind of things now.” Granny Smith muttered, pushing away from the table and saying good-night to the other Ponies, either oblivious to or ignoring the worried look Applejack was shooting her.

Since when does Granny Smith leave the table first? She might nod off and have a kip, but she don’t leave when there’s guests present!

“Sis! SIS! Can we have more cake?” Applebloom asked loudly, breaking Applejack out of her musing as she watched the old matriarch of the family shuffle out of the living room and down the hallway to her bedroom on the ground floor.

“Wha-huh? Y-yeah, sure Bloom, jus’ don’t make y’selves sick, okay.”

“Oh come on, AJ, they’re not fillies anymore, what’s the worst that could happen?” Rainbow Dash chortled as she pulled the cake closer to her to cut more slices off the glorious desert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Breed me! Fucking breed me, you magnificent bitches!”

Luna’s eyebrows went so high they nearly merged with her mane, and from the muffled squeak-like noise that Twilight made, the vulgar words spilling out of her ‘Dream Doppleganger’ was as shocking to the newest Alicorn as it was to Luna herself.

Sandwiched between Aloe and Lotus, the dream-version of Twilight pumped herself up and down on the shafts of the Earth Pony twins, screaming in delight and uttering obscenities as the twins pulled on her mane, slapped her cutiemark and pressed on the bases of her wings, both of them grunting and uttering similar commentary about how tight and wet ‘Twilight’ was.

“Well … consider this an impromptu lesson on the dangers of walking blindly into a Dreamscape.” Luna managed to say after several moments of stunned silence, wincing as her voice cracked as she spoke.

“Eeeeeeee …” Twilight whined, having turned into a roughly pony-shaped lump on the floor, unable to look away from the scene before her where both twins, apparently hermaphrodites in their shared dream, were ravaging her dream doppleganger’s honeypot with tremendous vigor to the point that Luna was certain a mortal Pony’s body would have been ruined for life.

“Twilight? Twilight, take control of yourself, they cannot see nor hear us unless I will it so.” The Lunar Princess reached down with a wing and none-too-gently picked up her lover and placed her onto shaky hooves. “While … rather uncomfortable, such dreams are rather common.”

“Common?” The smaller, purple Alicorn whimpered, finally averting her gaze from the lewd scene before them with a look of mingled shock, horror and amazement on her face. “THAT is common?”

“The … rutting? Yes. The fetishes on display here are … relatively new to me too, Twilight, although I will admit dreams involving you, or a ‘idealized’ versions of yourself, have become an increasing trend in the dreams of our little Ponies as your exploits have continued.” Luna explained, blinking as the trio on the huge, spacious bed moved again, assuming a new position, the blue twin pulling out with a loud groan from all three ponies before assuming a position at dream-Twilight’s head, who greedily took the flared shaft, slick with a mixture of juices, into her own mouth … and throat. Yikes, I hope they don't expect Twilight to be able to do that in the real world. “Well … I must admit this is a new one, but it is not the first time I have seen a pony lust for a Princess. Dopplegangers of Celestia, Cadence, even a dream-form in my own shape have been in … ah … positions like this.”

“Please, no more puns.” Twilight whimpered again, staring down at her hooves in embarrassment. “I’m so glad this is just a dream! I mean, there’s no way my body could take two pe-p-pe-pen … things … like that into the one body cavity at once! R-right?”

Luna looked away, blushing and pursing her lips together.

“…No.” Twilight whispered, eyes going as large as dinner-plates.

“It was … a different time, Twilight, and I was far more adventurous in the bedroom back then. And they were such caring Stallions, very careful to not go too deep or to crush me under their weight.” Luna finally managed to say, blushing down to her chest as she did. “And they had the tightest flanks you had ever seen. I couldn’t walk straight for a few days, but it was certainly a night to remember.”

“Oh sweet Faust on toast … I’m not going to have to do that, am I?”

“Goodness no, Twilight! Besides, considering how closely we’ve been … inspecting … each other over the past few days, what is before us is highly unlikely to happ … apapapapa … oh my.”

In the space of a few minutes, the trio had changed position again, the twins having completely withdrawn from the dream-Twilight and lay on their backs, loins pressed tightly together and slick shafts pointing up into the air, twitching and throbbing against one another as the dream-Twilight shakily got to her hooves and slowly lowered herself over the twinned, entwined shafts, groaning loudly as they impossibly disappeared into her to the median rings, the purple ‘dream doppleganger’ bouncing enthusiastically on her new ‘throne’ while Aloe and Lotus nibbled eagerly on the tips of her wings, grinding their gushing depths against one another eagerly as the dream-Twilight pounded herself up and down their shafts.

“Can we just go. Please. Right now, before this gets any more awkward.”

“Just a minute, Twilight, we need to probe a little deeper into this Dreamscape to discover who the Twins are suggesting. Their forms in this dream may be a subconscious quirk from hearing your request to meet actual hermaphrodites, and who knows who the actual hermaphrodite is?” Luna whispered, draping a wing over Twilight’s body and leaning down to nuzzle the side of the smaller Alicorn’s face. “Endure this, my dear. I am sure there is nothing more they can throw at you …”

“I see you have warmed up without us, Twilight.” A familiar voice boomed, causing Luna and Twilight to flinch and stare at each other in shock. “Truly, such lack of discipline! This calls for more … training!”

From some misty corner of the ‘dream room’, a dream-doppleganger of Luna appeared, a riding-crop levitating alongside her head, which was crowned with a small black cap set at a jaunty angle and her body adorned with some sort of strange, corset-like garment that left little to the imagination … including an impossibly huge dark-purple prick that almost extended past the dream-Luna’s front legs and almost as wide as a foal’s body, the flared head already dribbling a staggering amount of pre-cum that glistened on the floor beneath and behind the dream-Luna.

“Oh yes, Mistress Moon, I’m sure she’s almost loose enough for you to use!” The Spa-Twins said at once, giving a final thrust into the mewling dream-Twilight before slowly withdrawing, their entwined shafts pulling out with a loud wet pop, the flared heads almost pulling the dream-Twilight’s inner depths out with them.

Luna looked upon the scene with one cheek twitching uncontrollably, while Twilight had begun foaming at the mouth.

“You have done excellent work, my pets, but Twilight must remember who rules this harem! Tonight, I shall finally claim the path least travelled! Twilight Sparkle, PREPARE THINE ANUS!”

The doors to the dream-room slammed shut without a sound, leaving Twilight and Luna alone in the now-silent hallway that seemed to run through the Dreamscape, mercifully blocking out any further sights, sounds or smells from the room behind them.

“Ahem. Yes, well then. Perhaps we should try somepony closer to you? A friend, perhaps, somepony who is not quite so … hmm, yes. Let us be off.”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee …” Twilight Sparkle whimpered around the foam in her mouth in lieu of a response as Luna expanded and assumed her previous Astral form, gathering both Alicorns up in her luminous mane and tail and mercifully exiting the Dreamscape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rainbow.”

“Yeah.”

“Remind me to bucking kick Rarity in the teeth tomorrow.”

“Yeah. I’ll hold her down for you, even.”

Both Mares hissed in frustration under the soothing cold spray from the shower-head as they sought to relieve themselves from the burning heat inside them, hooves at work feverishly between their legs in the shower, blushing as much from the close quarters they found themselves in as the sound of Big Mac groaning next door as he ‘took care of business’ in his own way.

“Hey, at least the Crusaders are too young for this stuff to affect them … I think. You told them to go have a sleepover at their club-house, right?”

“Damn straight. Ah ain’t sure ah can hold myself back, Rainbow, an’ ah know Big Mac’s barely keepin’ control as is. He’d never forgive himself if’n this damn trick o’ Rarity’s made him attack his lil’ sis or her friends.”

“Why aphrodisiacs and not laxatives or fart-pills?” Rainbow whimpered, puller her hoof away and staring at the extremity with annoyance before reaching for a bottle of shampoo and started to tease her dripping opening with the head of the bottle. “This is just twisted! She knew Sweetie Bell would be here tonight!”

“Durn idjit must’ve had her brains rattled by mah punch. Ah’ll rattle her teeth down her throat an’ out her white … perky … silky-smooth aaaaaah Faust dammit! Rainbow, do me a favour an’ go to mah room!” Applejack’s threat turned into a lusty admiration, and then frustration. “There’s a … damn it! A box under mah bed, big pink box wit’ a lock on the side. S’got my toys in it, an’ we’ll need ‘em.”

“What … about … Mac?” Rainbow panted, having worked the head of the bottle inside herself and apparently was working her way up to taking the thicker ‘body’ of the bottle next.

“S’why ah’m sendin’ you, dummy! If’n he comes out an’ sees me wit’ mah ass in the air an’ mah flower in bloom, an’ both of us in this state, he’ll plow me like a spring field!”

“So risking my ass is fine, but yours isn’t?”

“If’n he gives you a ride, you’ll both get some relief. If’n he rides me, d’yah think mah brother an’ ah’ll be able to look each other in the eye afterwards?”

“AJ, I’ve seen Big Mac’s lil’ mac. That thing goes anywhere near me and I’ll end up with both legs in the air … in the hospital with a broken everything! And didn’t you two … you know …”

“That was one time, when we were both young an’ we got locked in the cider-cellar by accident right as ah was goin’ into mah first Estrus. Ain’t gonna be a repeat o’ that, Rainbow, both me an’ mah brother talked ‘bout it afterwards an’ agreed it weren’t healthy for either of us to keep it goin’.”

“There isn’t a law against it, AJ. And besides, taking a brother and sister to bed at the same time …” Applejack gave the now-grinning cyan-blue Pegasus a dirty look as the lithe flyer managed to work the first third of the shampoo bottle inside herself, twisting the smooth cylinder left, then right, a dopey smile on her face. “Kind of a turn-on, now that I think about it …”

“Ah was gonna offer to go down on you first if’n you took the risk an' went out first, but ah’ll pass this time.” The farm-mare groaned, stepping out from under the cold water and cursing immediately as the heat deep in her core came raging back to the surface, making her head swim and her loins pulse with need. “Ah’ll get the toys …”

“No … hurry …” Rainbow offered unhelpfully as she started to pump the shampoo bottle in and out of herself with piston-like thrusts, leaving a grumbling Applejack to shuffle out of the bathroom, shooting a nervous look towards her brother’s room, steam all but coming out of her ears as she heard the grunts and groans coming from the room grow in strength as he rubbed his massive hooves along and over his equally massive …

“AJ! AJ! Oh Faust, it’s so good, I can’t stop!”

“It don’t hurt no more, Mac! Keep goin’, ah feel like ah’m flyin’…”

“Ah can’t help it! It’s comin’ AJ! I’m gonna come inside!”

“Aw. Hell. Naw.” Applejack muttered to herself, flinching as she realized she’d taken several steps towards Big Mac’s door. Thankfully, free birth-control pills were as easy to get as pamphlets in the chemist-stores, bowls of them placed in every corner of the store near innocuous stands of other medical supplies, so that no awkward questions or requests were needed if a Pony had an unexpected encounter and wished to keep things a secret. And since everyday medication like cough medicine or tiger-balm were placed nearby, there was always a reasonable excuse for any Pony to be near the bowls.

They’d been young. Trapped in the cellar, in the heat, for almost an entire day before they’d managed to escape the cellar and slink down to the pond to wash away the physical traces of their union, but Applejack had made sure to go in and get some ointment for sore muscles, claiming it was due to strains acquired getting the cider stored away to ferment, when in-fact the ointment had been for sore muscles in other places. And her saddlebags had been loaded with almost half a bowl’s worth of the birth-control pills.

Wasn’t just once like you told Rainbow that one time she got you drunk enough to admit who popped your cherry, Applejack. Seven times a’fore you both wised up that it weren’t right for siblings to do that kinda thing, no matter how good you both felt. It was twistin’ us both up inside thinkin’ about what the family would say … an’ what if the pills failed, an’ ah’d gotten with foal? How would ah have explained that to Granny Smith? Or the rest of Ponyville?

Grunting as much from the rippling of her internal muscles as the grim thoughts plaguing her mind, Applejack snuck into her own room, looking around quickly as if expecting to have a paparatzi-pony spring forth from behind a piece of furniture to take a photo, and narrowed her eyes as she felt something was … off with the room.

“Somethin’s missin’ …” Applejack whispered to herself as she crouched down low, peering under the bed and grinning as she spotted the box, a giant pink shoe-box with the words “Private, stay out or DIE!” written on every available flat surface. “Don’t matter none, get these, get our heads cleared, go kill Rarity tomorrow.”

“AJ?”

Awwww. Heck. Naw.

“Mac.” Applejack said firmly, scooting around and planting her backside firmly ontop of the box she had just retrieved, blushing down to the base of her neck as she saw her brother standing just outside her door, covered with sweat and looking very ruffled, with a very large errection slapping against his belly … and a broadly-grinning Rainbow Dash peering out from behind the shower-curtain, furiously masturbating with the shampoo bottle and making ‘go on’ guestures with her wings since both front-legs were occupied. “Y’need to go back to your room.”

“Can’t. Need lube.” He grunted, nostrils flaring as he caught the scent of two needy mares. “The … ah ... ‘wife’ sprung a leak an' I don't have any patches for her. An’ I still ain’t … you know.”

“Maaaaac.” Applejack said with a warning tone as her brother took a step towards her, before the burly Stallion shook his head and shuffled backwards, flushing a red so deep it showed past his russet coat.

“OH JUST BUCK ALREADY!” Rainbow squealed with excited frustration from the bathroom, making both Apple Ponies flush and give her dirty looks.

“I can’t help it, AJ. I’m harder than hard-wood, an’ nothing else seems to work. Gonna either need the shower for myself, or …” Big Mac mumbled, coughing heavily as his flanks twitched and his engorged member slapped against his belly again, Applejack's eyes drawn to the thick meat that her body screamed at her would provide relief from this damnable heat.

“AJ! Again, I’m gonna come again!”

“Do it! Oh Faust, Mac, don’t pull out!”

“Dammit.” Applejack groaned, slapping a hoof over her eyes. “This’ll be a once-off, Mac, y’hear me. One night only. We all got an' itch that only the other can scratch, tha's all it is.”

“Mmmhm.” Big Mac nodded, taking a step towards Applejack’s room.

“But y’gonna start with Rainbow first.”

“Wha-huh?” Both Rainbow and Big Mac said in unison, giving each other startled looks.

“Ah’m gonna need a sec to find some pills, Mac. An’ Rainbow’s already been workin’ herself up into a lather. Start with her, an’ see if that helps a’fore we have to … y’know.”

“Wait wait waaaaait, don’t I get a say in … wuh-whoo! Big Mac, point that thing somewhere else!” Rainbow stammered, her eyes going huge as Big Mac shuffled into the bathroom, tail swishing behind him eagerly as he advanced on her and the shower. “I don’t think my heart’s ready for this!”

“Says the mare with a durn bottle shoved up there.” Applejack muttered to herself as she pulled the box out, ignoring the excited yammering from the bathroom that turned from stammering to giggles, whispers and the soft slap of flesh on flesh as she pulled a small box of bland white colouration out from the box, labelled with only a red circle around a simple representation of a seedling with a broad line through both.

“We gotta stop this.”

“Ah … know. It feels so good, but we’re … we’re not …”

“I love you sis. But this isn’t good for any of us.”

“You’re right, Mac. I just … wish we weren’t …”

“Me too, AJ. Me too …”

“Buck it.” Applejack muttered, popping the box open and swallowing several of the pills at once, swallowing them dry. “Just one more time … an’ tomorrow, all three of us go an’ have a chat with Rarity ‘bout this nonsense.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What?”

“You … took the order, right Mr Cake? Rarity ordered a cake for Applejack as thanks for looking after the Cutiemark Crusaders tonight.” Lyra explained, looking at the Cakes as if they’d grown a second head, given the horrified expressions on their faces. “Rainbow Dash offered to take the cake over, she even said the Cutiemark Crusaders would love it. Why? What’s wrong.”

“Oh dear sweet Filly Faust on a park swing.” Mr Cake groaned, falling to his knees, while his portly wife turned pale and wobbled on her hooves. “Honey, what have we done?”

“Lyra … just … just go home. We’ve made a mistake with the cake, that’s all. So … thank you for today, we’ll make sure we chip in a good bonus for your work, and the hours you hung back to help us clean up …” Mrs Cake smiled weakly, blinking rapidly as Lyra waved a hoof in-front of her husband’s face. “Just … please keep this quiet, would you dear? Please? We may have accidentally put Applejack into a terrible position.”

“Oh please, that mare can take a licking and keep on kicking, I’m sure there’s nothing that cake can dish out that she can’t take!” Lyra scoffed.

“It’s the licking I’m worried about ... and the kicking part, now that I think about it.” Mr Cake groaned, turning as pale as his wife. “Honey, maybe we should drop the foals off to your parents tonight. I’m … not sure they should be here tomorrow when the Apples come to talk to us about the … creamy filling.”

“Oh dear, that’s is going to be uncomfortable …” Mrs Cake muttered in turn, both bakers ignoring the puzzled expression on Lyra’s face.

“Uh, yeah, okay I guess. Take care … good night?”

“Good night.” The Cakes replied mechanically as Lyra left their bakery, sharing a look of sick horror before the bell on the inside of the door jingled as somepony else opened the door.

“Hey Mrs Cake! Hey Mr Cake!” Pinkie Pie shouted happily, staggering into the bakery with bags under her eyes a satisfied grin on her face. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today!”