Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

Please support the show.

I'M NOT DEAD YET! I just feel like it ... Between jumping through the ever-moving hoops to get a job, a family that's all come down at once, it seems, with cancer and a very sick dog whose response to upset bowels and vomiting is to climb into my bed at night, meaning I'm waking up just about every morning to a fouled bed and an absolutely miserable animal, this has been one of the slowest chapters I've churned out. My apologies to all and sundry.

Thankfully, the pills the vet have given to me seem to be helping Gracie get over her poisoning, and the neighbour in question won't be seeing the light of day anytime soon. Here's a hint: If the Judge is a known member and financial backer of the local animal refuge, just plead guilty and beg for leniency. There's no excuse for poisoning a dog just because you hate dogs... or any animal for that matter!

CHAPTER 37

“Look, little one. Look how fast we’re going.” Chrysalis murmured softly, holding the little white-coated male up to the window, where it pressed both tiny hooves against the glass window of the train, eyes and mouth wide open in wonder as the borderlands, pockets of brown and dull grey-green plantlife dotting the stark, harsh landscape of burnt reds and yellows of towers of wind-carved stone and sand, slowly gave way to the lusher, rounder, greener landscape that would only continue to grow ever more vivid and beautiful the closer they came to Canterlot.

It struck Dappled as a very motherly thing to do, even as a part of him couldn’t help by cynically wonder if it was just merely another act that the Changeling Queen was performing to try and help convince the Ponies to help her without resorting to her emotion-warping magic.

Which may or may not have been detectable. Which may or may not have made her head explode inside the heavily-warded confines of the carriage. Were her infamous powers of deception and subterfuge purely magical in nature or was the Changeling Queen also a master of acting that used those powers to augment her natural talent?

Such thoughts were quickly put aside as one of the two black-coated females that had been put into his care while Chrysalis had dealt with the white foal’s needs suddenly decided that now would be a good time to climb Mount Dappled with some very unco-ordinated hooves and a great deal of determination, and Scout, who had seemingly attached herself to his flank, was of absolutely no help, being similarly challenged by her charge, who had apparently decided that Scout’s ears made very delicious chew-toys.

Despite repeated attempts to coax her to snuggle, or sleep, or do anything other than shove her tiny hooves into his hide for traction, Dappled was unable to stop the baby Changeling from it’s determined climb and instead resolved to keep a hoof beneath her at all times as the tiny, black-coated filly climbed up his torso and neck and joined her twin sister in gnawing on the nearest ear with great affection, leaving both Dappled Light and Scout wincing as the twins worked out their teething issues.

“Hmph. You’ll make a good father someday, Dappled.” A low, soft voice rumbled from the doorway, and all six beings in the comparment jumped at once, although for different reasons.

For Chrysalis and Scout, is was a deep, primal fear of a dominant female presence not of their Hive that triggered instincts of submission and rivalry that warred in their minds.

For Dappled, it was growing fatigue of enduring yet another round of attempts to ‘introduce’ him to Candy Apple’s impressive array of grand-children, great-grand-children and other assorted single female family-members.

For the Foals, it was, irritatingly enough to their mother, delight, for Candy Apple bore in the two bulging pannier-bags she carried an array of old, hand-me-down toys her children had given back to her for the purpose of entertaining the three Changeling Foals.

Unfortunately for Dappled and Scout, the two female Twins refused to let go of their new chew-toys, so they were subject to the twin foals trying to leap off their heads towards ‘aunty Candy’, who still stood outside of their compartment in the carriage’s passageway, with the Pony and Changeling’s ears still firmly gripped in their little mouths.

“I … ah! I appreciate that, ma’am, but gaaaaah I think this is putting me off having fo-hoooah! Foals for life!” Dappled grunted as each attempt by the little filly to get to the toys made his head ring with pain, wondering if his ear was about to detach or not.

“They’re just saying they trust you. You’re ‘safe’, so the little darlings are trying to keep you close to them.” Candy Apple rumbled, pulling out several toys and shoving them into the laps of Dappled and Scout, who quickly found themselves dealing with two hyper-excited foals trying to hug each toy simultaneously, finally relinquishing their holds on the much-abused ear-shaped teething toys. “Now, let’s have a look at you, your majesty.”

“Beg pardon?” Chrysalis asked in a weak tone as her white-coated foal was deftly picked up, giggling all the while, and placed in Dappled’s lap, where he quickly joined one of his sisters in excitedly wrestling with a battered-looking teddy bear.

“I am a registered nurse, and my little snookums mentioned you’re in … dire straights, shall we say?” The big, burly Earth Pony Mare said, shooting a look at the foals. “That your sorry state is as much internal as external? Well, I’m going to take your blood pressure and give you a basic physical exam, see if there’s anything I can do for you now before we hit Canterlot.”

“Should I not wait for …” The Changeling Queen began to protest before falling back into muttering as Candy Apple quickly started poking and prodding the Changeling’s body, paying special attention to her badly fractured limbs and horn. “Gah! That smarts, watch where you put your hooves you … you …”

“I’ve been called worse by better, but mind your words in-front of the foals.” The burly, aging Mare warned as her large hooves began to narrow their search to the Queen’s horn and torso. “Mmmph. I can’t really check much with your carpace in the way, but you’ve definitely got some pretty nasty swelling where, if you were a Pony, the rib-cage ends and the digestive system begins, and if you were a Unicorn, I’d say you’ve got a nasty series of fractures running through your horn and into the skull-bone itself. And I’m betting you’ve been using magic all the time, which would prevent the fractures from fully healing.”

“I … have only been using my magic sparingly. If I use it too much I can … faint. I am finding it difficult to absorb love, meaning I am almost always starving, which is also slowing my regeneration to a crawl.” Chrysalis mumbled hesitantly after a few moments of sullen silence.

“Well when we reach Canterlot, the first thing we’re doing is getting you to a proper hospital for a deep scan to see what’s broken since I can’t tell through your carpace.” Candy Apple grunted, looking displeased. “If you were a Pony, I’d say you’ve got cracked ribs and organs that have been displaced inside your body cavity, but I don’t know the first thing about Changeling bodies, and any treatment you receive would do more harm than good if we don’t know what is ‘normal’ for a Changeling.”

“Now, Dappled, I want you and … Scout? I want you both to take the foals away for a short while and keep them entertained while the patient …”

“I have a name …” The Changeling Queen muttered softly, meeping as Candy Apple turned to give her an annoyed look.

“…the patient tells me all of her symptoms so I can pass them along to the doctors. I’d assume you’d prefer to tell another female, and in private at that, what you may be suffering from. Now scoot, all of you. I'll send somepony to fetch you when I'm done with the patient.”

“Understood, ma’am, we’ll take the foals to the far end of the carriage.” Dappled replied, levitating the teddy bear and the two foals attached to it onto his back, while Scout settled for grabbing her stuffed pony toy and using it as a sling to carry the foal in her care, the two beating a hasty retreat from the room and heading towards the far end of the carriage, the sliding door closing behind them with an ominous click. “Soooo … how does one distract these three little … angels … without getting their ears gnawed off? I forgot to ask your Queen before we …”

“They are entertained now, we simply must ensure they remain safe.” Scout cut in, walking forwards and poking Dapplied in the flank with her horn. “The Queen fed them only recently, so they will likely play until they become tired and go to sleep. We need only hold out until then.”

Dappled’s attempts to make conversation as they travelled were quickly cut short by Scout and her ‘pushy’ attitude involving poking that short, sharp horn of hers into his flank every time he tried to stop and make small-talk. Her attitude puzzled him until the unlucky Border Guard remembered how terrified of his CO’s large-and-in-charge wife the Changelings were, even as it embarrassed him as the Magi in the nearest rooms all looked up in puzzlement or amusement as Dappled was herded up the corridor by the suddenly-bossy Changeling up the narrow confines of the carriage’s passageway towards the final compartment.

Sadly, it was not empty at all, but held the pretty-but-annoyed-looking second-in-command from the border-Garrison, reading a thick book of some kind with a peeved expression on her face.

“Ah, apologies, ma’am, but can we borrow this room for a while? Nurse Candy Apple has exiled us from the Queen’s presence until she has finished her physical examination.” Dappled asked from the doorway, wincing as Scout delivered yet another prod with her horn, a little harder this time.

“What? Oh, yes, yes, certainly, come on in.” The Unicorn muttered absently, turning a page in her book and frowning. “Oh bother, that’s no use either. Maybe this case …”

“Riiiiiight. Well, excuse us then.” The Border-Guard muttered, wondering if everyone on the train was some sort of nut. The Magi seemed to have gone from ignoring his existence, which he was perfectly fine with, to being awkwardly buddy-buddy with him and insisting he ‘stop by’ for a ‘magical examination’, and the Changelings were now treating him like one of their own, which was a disturbing development in its own right and now Scout had started pushing boundaries in a whole new way, as the tingle of his repeatedly-poked flank could attest. “C’mon, you little gnawers, let’s see how long it takes for you to tucker yourselves out.”

Several minutes passed in relative quiet, if not peace, as the three foals alternated between cuddling with their new toys, climbing all over their ‘carers’ and continuing their favourite game of ‘gnaw the ear off’, until Dappled noticed that the other Unicorn was giving him sneaky looks every so often, and Scout’s cheeks appeared to be inflating like miniature balloons every time the other Mare did so.

Does she think that the Captain is going to assassinate me? Dappled though to himself, half-amused at Scout’s over-protective nature, half-concerned that she’d start an incident and derail the entire situation.

“So, uh, ma’am, I never actually got your name?” The Border Guard ventured after finding the atmosphere unbearably awkward, and earning an angry look from Scout in the process for some reason.

“Oh … Twilight Glimmer, Captain … err … probably former 1st Captain at this rate, of the 42nd Garrison.” The frazzled-looking Unicorn said, giving Dappled a awkward smile. “Sorry if I’m not being very sociable, just researching some old cases about leaving commanding officers behind.”

“Wait, you mean that Brass Stars and that old Magi are still …”

“Probably brawling in the dirt as we speak, or have rushed back to the train station and realized we’ve left them behind. Even if I get a commendation for this, my career at the Garrison is over, and if Brass Stars’s family decides to make things difficult, my military career is deader than disco.” The ethereally-pink Unicorn finished, running a hoof through her frazzled indigo mane. “Still, we’re bringing in the Changeling Queen safe and sound, she’s contained and unable to do any more harm and she wants to make peace with the Princesses. All in all, I’d consider that a fair trade for losing my job.”

“Why would your Queen punish you for the failings of another?” Scout piped up, scooting closer to Dappled as she did so, the foal in her lap taking the opportunity to climb up to her chest for some snuggling.

“It’s … difficult to explain. We have a chain of command, and Ponies below other Ponies in that chain of command aren’t supposed to disobey those above them. In theory, those above them are supposed to be better than those below, but there are often Ponies like Brass Stars who got their position due to the authority and power of their families, rather than any innate skill.” Glimmer explain, shooting the Changeling a puzzled look. “Surely you Changelings have similar individuals amongst you?”

“All are connected by the Hive Mind. If one shirks one’s duties, the whole Hive will learn, and the individual will be ousted from both the Hive and the Hive Mind.” The Changeling replied quickly. “Such a fate is a slow, lingering death, thus all Changelings work to the best of their abilities, and all Changelings can draw upon the memories of those who came before, and those who are now, to ensure they can always do their duties effectively.”

“Wait, you share memories?” Dappled asked, a growing sense of horror growing in him that he’d accidentally bukkae’d an individual whose memories could be shared by an entire race.

“That’s … fascinating. That would mean so long as the Hive Mind exists, you’ve no need for books or teachers, you can just access the repository of memories and know how to function …” Glimmer said, a tone of wonder in her voice. “So how do you advance your knowledge if nopony needs to learn on their own, or in new ways? What happens when you run into something you’ve no previous memory of?”

“We absorb new memories.” The Changeling replied bluntly.

For several moments both Ponies looked at the Changeling in bug-eyed shock, then each other, then back to the Changeling before loudly asking “How?” simultaneously.

Scout blinked, her horn flickered green for a moment, and then disturbingly enough, Chrysalis’s voice emerged from the Scout’s mouth.

“Inquisitive, aren’t you. Since that behemoth of a Mare is currently occupied, I will answer in place of my child. Do you know why we cocooned the Ponies in the Canterlot Castle and didn’t just trap them in resin like we did the Guards and civilians outside?” Chrsyalis-through-Scout asked, a smug grin on her face that filled Dappled with mixed feelings about the innocent Changeling bearing such an expression.

“We thought it was to imprison them, and you couldn’t do that to the Ponies already on guard because it would take too long …” Glimmer replied after a few moments of thought.

“Hardly. Even the slowest of my Drones could create a cocoon within minutes, and all they would need to do would be to drop the cocoon onto a Pony, and it would naturally envelop the target.” Chrsyalis-through-Scout scoffed, waving a dismissive hoof at Glimmer, who bristled at the nonchalant arrogance displayed towards her. “When a Changeling enters a cocoon, they are placed into a state of suspended animation and can heal at an accelerated rate. But when we place a non-Changeling inside a cocoon, their minds become an open book to the Hive Mind, imprinting their memories, their impressions, even fragments of their personality. Through cocooning, we Changelings are able to easily absorb all the information we need to successfully infiltrate a society or species, as well as keeping those whom we are replacing in a state of suspended animation, safe from all harm while we achieve our objectives.”

“Fascinating … but why, if the cocoons are so useful for healing, haven’t you placed yourself in one?” Glimmer pointed out, a smug grin of her own flashing as Chrysalis-through-Scout’s arrogant smirk faltered.

“Because doing so might save my life, it would condemn my Hive to a slow, withering death. I am the lych-pin of the Hive Mind, its center, the being that supports the entire structure, the hub that keeps the spokes of the wheel aligned. If I were to withdraw into the healing sleep the cocoon offers, with the level of injuries I have sustained, it could be months or even longer before I emerge, and during that time the Changelings, my children, would have suffered something akin to what you Ponies call ‘dementia’, losing their minds, unable to function effectively, forced to rely upon crudely inefficient words and gestures to communicate their intentions or needs. I would be sacrificing my entire family just to restore myself, and that I could not, will not, do.”

“Whatever else you Ponies might think of me and my kind, know this: Family is as sacred to us as Harmony is to you. No Changeling would ever willing take any action that would purposefully cause harm or suffering to their Hive.” Chrysalis-through-Scout murmured, her horn flickering with green light again. “Oh, and tell those magi that yes, their spell-work does stop me using magic, but it does nothing to prevent the Hive Mind from functioning. Excellent work.”

“Why excellent work?” Glimmer asked desperately, leaning forwards as if to grasp the essence of the Changeling Queen and shake answers from it.

“Because if we could not hear our Queen, we would tear our way through anything that stood between us and her to bask in her glow again.” Scout replied, her voice her own again.

“Well isn’t that just ominous.” Dappled muttered, looking down at the two foals cuddled up to the much-abused teddy-bear in his lap. “I suppose that’s a fair warning that any harm done to Chrysalis will be met in kind.”

Sighing, Glimmer closed the open book in her lap and leaned over towards Dappled, putting a hoof on his knee and smiling at him.

“Maybe. But I want to tell you this, Dappled. You’re a very special Pony, and when we get to Canterlot, I am going to personally see to it that you get promoted to a rank befitting your special talents, by any means necessary. Equestria needs more Stallions like you stepping up for what’s right.”

“Oh! Oh, uhm, no, I just did what I was trained …” Dappled stammered, cursing himself for blushing as a pretty mare praised him, and thus missed the way Scout’s cheeks inflated to two round spheres, or when she took the foal in her lap between her hooves and raised it up to Dappled’s head, where the foal quickly took advantage of her new altitude and chomped down hard on his ear.

Why me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“D’you think she’s done?”

“Faust, I hope so.”

“I never thought a Pony could build a cannon out of cookie-dough and chocolate fudge! One that worked, anyways!”

“I don’t ever want to play ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ the way she does ever again. Ow, my hips …”

“At least she stopped clinging to the ceiling and singing …”

“I don’t know what I’m going to tell my wife …”

“I don’t know what I’m going to tell my husband!”

“I’m right here, dear. I was involved in most of it, if you recall.”

“Yes, but considering everybody was covered in whipped cream and toppings, I’m not sure who was doing what!”

“This! You see? This is why the file on the Element of Laughter said ‘never tell her you’re upset or that you want a party’! But did any of you listen? Noooo, ‘Hoss, what’s the worst that could happen?’ or ‘Hoss, lighten up and give the Mare her cupcakes.’ Or ‘Hoss, have you seen what this mare can do with a fresh banana, caramel sauce and whipped cream!‘ .”

“WE KNOW! Shut up and help us get her cleaned up so we can send her back to Ponyville!”

“P-p-paaarty?”

“She’s waking up!”

“NOT AGAIN!”

“Celestia, save us!”

“Miss Pie, we cannot have another party, we … we aaah … we still need to clean this kitchen up! So you can leave now, really, it’s okay, you have to go back to Ponyville, right!”

“Oh, you’re right! I gotta get home quickly, I’ve got a ‘welcome to Ponyville even if you’re an utter jerk’ party to plan, plus there’s a hundred bits I need to give to Rainbow Dash anyways!”

“Ye … yeah, okay, I’m not even going to ask.”

“Ah, do you require an escort to the royal baths, miss Pie? You’re somewhat sticky from the whipped cream … and chocolate sauce … and caramel butter …”

“What, no silly! That’s what tongues are for!”

“What are you oh … oh … ooooooh my.”

“What the buuuuuuu…”

“…Well that’s disturbing and oddly arousing …”

“HOW DOES A TONGUE THAT BIG FIT INSIDE YOUR MOUTH?”

“Somebody pass me the cooking sherry, I need to bleach my brain …”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well. That was an adventure.” Discord remarked dryly, slipping the dvd back into the case and eyeing the cover with annoyance and a silent prayer for the genitals of the ‘actors’. “When I saw the title, I was expecting something very, very different …”

Celestia, for her part, was still flopped over the arm of the couch, wheezing with laughter, eyes still sparkling with tears and humor. “Oh, I don’t know, Discord. That Jolly Hocksville and his band of idiots certainly know how to take a hit! I didn’t even know we had a troupe of entertainers like that in Equestria, or ones who would be bold enough to perform under such title. Jackasses indeed!”

“And people say my brand of chaos is extreme...” The serpentine Chaos Aspect muttered faintly, slipping the dvd to the bottom of the pile and picking up the next, inspecting the cover with far more care this time. “Hmmm … I’m not certain about this one either. Remind me in the future that, as fun as random choice is, to not just randomly pluck whatever looks flashy from the Castle’s library of movies.”

“We … don’t actually have one of those. Where did you get these videos, exactly?” Picking herself up and sitting down to wait as Discord made a choice between the remaining videos, Celestia found herself at once relieved and nervous. While Discord’s choices had been random and in turns hilarious and horrifiying, the Solar Princess found herself realizing she’d actually been able to forget for a few brief hours the stress and fatigue the day’s events had delivered. A part of her felt guilty at forgetting the suffering of the Ponies around her, while another part felt ... liberated. How long has it been since I actually had any time to myself, without having to wonder how this faction or that nation will respond, if I will spark a war or cause a riot because of a mis-step or words said in haste?

“Hmmmph … oh, there was a wall of shelves filled with movies in the barracks, I assumed it was something you put in to entertain the Guardponies while they were on break.” Discord mumbled, shuffling through the assembled movies with a frown on his face. “Jackasses II:Jackass Harder? Definitely not!”

“Perhaps it was something Shining Armor or Rosebush started …” Celestia offered, levitating a bottle of scotch up and inspecting the level with a critical eye. “Another bottle, Discord? I admit it may be a touch early for it, but we’ve gone through most of this one.”

“I would say yes, but don’t you have some boring Princess-y stuff to do? Won’t the Ponies be miffed if their precious Princess is pickled before sundown?” Swivelling his neck in ways no neck was ever meant to swivel, Discord fixed a yellow eye on Celestia, who rolled her own eyes at Discord in protest.

“I assure you, dear Discord, that it will take more than a few bottles of scotch to see me under the weather. I have actually been prohibited from bar crawling after a … ah … a binge saw me nearly empty the alcohol reserves of several of Canterlot’s bar-strips. Apparently I had nearly emptied the city of spirits before the Guards decoded my message and found me, despite everything that happened that night.”

Discord’s mis-matched eyes grew several sizes larger, and Celestia felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She hadn’t actually meant to sound like she was bragging …

“Even my patience for the antics of my little ponies has limits. I had just shot down a particularly egregious set of legislation that was being pushed through parliament that would have caused a great deal of suffering to Earth Ponies and Pegasi through biased taxation, and feeling more than a touch proud of myself, I decided to slip into a form less well known than ‘Princess Celestia’ to enjoy myself with alongside the Ponies I had just helped save from the Shadow Council’s bigotry.”

“Well, one thing led to another, and at the time, upon hearing that their ‘Princess’ had used her veto powers to shoot down the legislation and then lay into the political bloc that had tried to push them through the parliament in terms just short of calling them bigots, let’s just say most of the common-ponies of Canterlot, from all four tribes, had decided to throw an impromptu celebration in her ‘honor’. I had planned on only having a quiet drink and perhaps the chance to talk with my ponies without the pomp and ceremony my true form seems to attract from them, but after the third bar I tried to have a drink at got caught up in the celebration, I gave up and decided to just go along with it all.”

“Somewhere along the way I forgot to reinforce the polymorph spell, and after the … thirtieth or so bottle of … something, I think it was either rum or whiskey, it began to unravel as I got a little bit tipsy. Sometime after that, my memories get a little bit too hazy to recall everything perfectly at that point, but I lost control of the spell and transformed back into my natural form, the Ponies went absolutely berserk that I’d been paying for my own drinks after everything I had done for them and insisted they pay for everything.”

“Oh my Me, I think I see where this is going …” Discord muttered, padding over to sit down next to Celestia, who took the opportunity to rest her head on the serpentine chimera’s narrow shoulder, sighing happily as Discord's lion-paw wrapped itself around her shoulders.

“Yes, well, since every Pony absolutely had to buy me a round, and by the time I managed to escape from that bar, word had gotten around that the Princess had snuck down from the Castle to celebrate with them ... I had set one hoof out the door to get a breath of fresh air, and then the mob grabbed me and carried me over to the next bar, and the next, and the next and … well, by the time the Royal Guards managed to convince the crowd that I really did have to go back and raise the sun right that instant or else the rest of the world would complain very loudly, the records show I not only broke several records on number of consecutive shots in most of the bars and taverns, but with the help of the mob, I’d almost entirely gone through the city’s reserves of scotch, whiskey, bourbon, tequila, vodka and … well, just about any spirit that was bottled.” Now blushing down to the base of her neck, Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “And let me tell you, the Shadow Council almost got me to abdicate by marching into the throne room and assaulting me by clanging pots and pans together as loudly as they could, which prompted me to use the Royal Canterlot Voice to tell them exactly where they could stuff those pots. I’m not sure who came off worse for wear from that little stunt, the Shadow Council’s dignity or my poor aching head.”

Discord’s mouth opened to say something when a knock came from the door, causing both Immortals to flinch, give each other startled looks and then sigh in unison.

And another moment ruined … Celestia thought glumly, giving Discord’s narrow limb a pat with her wing as she got up and trotted over to the door, where a frazzled-looking Mare wearing the parade-armor of a Royal Guard awaited, with half a dozen Ponies behind her pulling carts loaded with folders and rolled-up scrolls. “Ah, Unflappable, I take it the PR department finally has come up with something?”

“Yes, your majesty.” The personal secretary of the Royal Guard’s Captain replied in a carefully neutral tone, waving a hoof towards the other Ponies who were pulling the carts. “Several versions, in-fact. They are insisting that you pick the one you like … Captain Rosebush is currently overseeing the patrols to protect the Castle while the bulk of our forces have been reassigned elsewhere, and apologises for not being here to go over them with you herself.”

“Considering how stretched our resources are, and the impossibility of preparing a contingency for today’s disasters, she has no need to apologise. Rosebush is, as always, performing her duties above and beyond the call of her station.” Celestia replied, forcing a warm smile to her face and hoping the alcohol on her breath wasn’t noticeable. A quick glance over her shoulder revealed that Discord had either teleported away or turned invisible, so the Princess stepped back to allow the Ponies access, grimacing as closer inspection of the carts revealed that whole acres of trees had probably paid with their lives for these mountains of documents. “So … where do we begin?”

“We, your majesty?” Unflappable asked, her features unreadable as always, while the Ponies who were pulling the carts looked at Celestia with their mouths hanging open. “Surely you will wish to review the speeches yourself, to prevent leakages to the media, and your detractors?”

“Considering that I am fairly certain no-pony here wishes to be held responsible for causing a wide-spread panic, I would appreciate feed-back on the speeches from Ponies who are not emotionally or actively involved in the Succuponi attack on Ponyville, or the Changeling Queen surrendering at our borders.” Celestia replied, smiling broadly as she used her magic to firmly shut the door, and extending a wing to the recently-vacated couch. “Make yourselves comfortable, my little Ponies. I suspect we’ll be here for a long time, and I want your honest opinions on these reports and speeches, do not just agree with me. If we are to curtail any attempts by the Changelings to turn this into another invasion, we must keep the populace as calm as possible, and trust in the stalwart Guards to keep Queen Chrysalis and her brood firmly in hoof.”

“Were you … expecting company, your majesty?” One of the cart-pulling Ponies asked awkwardly as one of her companions helped her get unhitched. “There’s … a lot of food here.”

Blinking in surprise, Celestia turned to ask what the Pony meant, Discord and herself had finished off all the food and drink half-way through the last movie, only to see the platters piled high with donuts, muffins and an chilled water-cooler full of chocolate milk the size of a small minotaur.

Bless your scoundrel’s heart, Discord. Celestia thought with more than a little affection. “I was expecting a long night going over the speech, if that’s what you meant. Take your pick, I’m sure the ... cook ... would be delighted to see a clean platter returned to the kitchens, and let’s get down to business. This nation won’t run itself.”