I stood outside our transport. The smell of burning oil and human charcoal drifted around me once again. "Stop that screaming!" One of the captains ran up and down the road, screaming at the wounded, to stop screaming. He wasn't the most well put together man.

"Warm." An extremely out of place voice came from behind me. I snapped around to find a dark blue pony walking towards me. It was far too normal to be one of the ponies I was staying with. "Hello." The mare walked up to me and bowed. "Able, I am Princess Luna." She smiled at me, a painfully freakish sight to see an actual horse smile. "A pleasure."

I coughed and looked around. "Whoakay...uh...you're not a princess, you're not whatever the hell those pony fuck things are."

The horse looked around. "I fear I undoubtedly am." She spun around in place. "This is a good memory?"

I looked around and pointed out towards an armored car with a bright red and white flag. "This was one of the worst landings we had, but no one died, only seven injured, and we planted a flag on the island for the first time." I rubbed my arm and looked back behind me. "I got to go home for a while after this."

Luna nodded lightly. "I see. Well, then I'm glad I could accommodate."

I felt my gut churn. "You made this?"

"I made this possible." She nodded. "I hope you don't mind me going through your thoughts. It was rather hard to find these sort of dreams." She smiled again, making my skin creep with the horseish display. "It should happen naturally if we continue this."

"Cool...thanks." I looked at her again, overcome by a sick creeping hate. Not at her, but at the fact that I had someone like this hitting on me not two days earlier. "Can I-- Why do you look like this!?"

Luna looked down at herself. "We have not met in person, I believe this is a subconscious view of me. As unflattering as it is...."

I sputtered and mumbled. "Can Celestia get in here? It's not just you, I promise."

Luna nodded. "If she is asleep, which I think she will be. Stay here."

"Alr--" I watched as she walked through a rip in space and time. "Ohhhhh..." I felt my skin crawl at the horrifically illogical display. "Fucking-- Dear fuck that was creepy." I groaned loudly as my entire body shook. I started to whimper and jump in place. "Oh god damn it, this is fucking creepy!" I shook my arms out in what might have been the most feminine thing I've ever done. I knew I was in a dream, everything was effectively paused, and there was a dimension walking horse skulking around my thoughts.

"God damn it, ew-- Just-- fuck-- bleerk." I started to laughed nervously. "I don't like it, I don't like it!" I hopped in place. "No! Just gross ass damn it!"

"I return--"

"God-- Jesus!" I scrambled back. "What? What happened...?" I turned to face her. Still a straight up horse, not features to say otherwise. "I just-- I'm really sorry...I can't look at you. Uncanny valley. Horses aren't supposed to smile like that."

Luna coughed roughly. "Ah, a visual issue? Then we should meet in person, dispell this strange view."

A loud woosh came from behind me. "I'm--euh?" A soft plop came from the same direction.

I looked behind me. A normal woman with a pure white body and a few equine features was kneeling down next to Luna. "Oh god damn it...." I turned away, looking at the pale grey end of an armored car. I groaned loudly. "Celestia?"

"Able.... Is this how--"

"I think I might have brain damage." I stared at a shovel bolted to the end of the car. "That's you...isn't it?" I looked back again, the hair was right, the color, the voice. "Yeah...it's you." I slumped my head forward and grabbed the shovel. "Well...that's not good, is it?"

I turned to face them, keeping Celestia hidden with the end of the shovel. Luna looked Celestia over, head to toe. "Are you two--"

I pushed the shovel away, getting a full view of my brain's version of Celestia. I felt a creeping sensation worm around my spine. "Alright, so we're not talking about this, and we're not doing this again. Okay?"

Celestia cupped herself. "What even are these?"

I reeled the shovel back in and based myself across the face. The last thing I heard before snapping awake was a loud metallic pang.

I snapped awake in the guest bed I had been given. I could feel a heavy frown pull at my cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling. I didn't say anything, I just spent the morning staring angrily at the sky. I didn't want to try and explain things, I just wanted to find a way to spite my brain.

The door into my room creaked open. "Able--"

"Out."

Celestia, back in normal tall ass pony form, peeked in. "What was--"

"Out."

Celestia cocked her head. "You know I'm not--"

"Seriously, we're not talking about it." I kept staring upwards. "...Find me a way home yet?"

Celestia stared at me, barely visible out of the corner of my eye. "I've asked my student to work on it. She's rather energetic about magically focused works." Celestia pushed the door open and walked in. "And just to say, if that's how you think of--"

I snapped my head to her. "Look again...you'll find something far worse right now!"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "I was going to say than--"

"Door."

"You're acting like a colt I walked in on!" She stomped her hoof. "Must you--"

"I fucking fucked a horse! Okay!?" I pushed upright and turned to her. "Fifteen years old, I was alone in the stables, I fucked a mare! Okay!? Is that what you wanted to hear!?" I held my arms out. "Oh Mr. Crazy ass gets a boner around me, I must be so special! He must look past what I am, eeh-eh-ehmena-- Arugh!." I felt my throat burn as I yelled. "Alright!? I had a bad time with a horse, and you speaking normally to me...humanizes you, I think that's the fucking word. Look, just get the hell out of here!" I pointed to the door. "Just-- Fuckin go!"

Celestia stared at me and slowly started backing out. "Okay. Should I run a bath?"

My vision started to tremble. I felt my entire body shake for two seconds before it all just drained out. "Eugh...."

"Oh dear!" Celestia pushed the door back open. "Able? Able?! Able you're bleeding!"

I moved my hand to my nose. "Yeah...probably blood pressure problems." I snorted softly, the sniff laden with blood. "Can't imagine why. I'm not angry or agitated or anything."

Celestia covered her mouth with a hoof. "I should go--"

"You should have funking fusking fukar-- Piss!" I screamed at her. "Just piss!"

Celestia covered her mouth and coughed. "Are you going to be okay? Tantrum over." She walked up to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. "Able?" She shook me gently. "Able? Are you alright?"

I turned to her and cocked my head. I lowered my voice. "I wanna go home.... I just wanna go home and get shot at again." I shook my head. "I'm not good at nonviolence damn it." I flopped my free arm against the bed. "I just-- I wanna go home."

Celestia nuzzled my crown with her chin. "Twilight is working on it. I promise." Celestia scratched the ground. "So, would you want to talk today or should I give you some privacy?"

I swung my arm up and let it fall back to earth. "I don't know...." I rubbed my forehead. "I just don't even know what I'm doing anymore. See, war made sense. I was a good guy, they were bad guys, good guy fights the bad guy. Here, shit is just complicated. I can't yell at people or I get in trouble, you're here, you're a horse, I'm-- I think I'm just gonna go back to sleep."

Celestia nodded. "Well you know where to find me."

I tried to take a breath, only left to inhale blood. "Suhru. I need a rag." Next Chapter: Wait Estimated time remaining: 60 Minutes