I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. And I don't mean that in a 'me getting laid' sense... Well, that was definitely gonna be a thing had it not been for Johnny swinging an ax at my bathroom door. Just to recap what had happened and what's going on now, Shining Armor, Twilight's older brother, had just caught me and Twilight in the act of taking it to home plate. The only thing that managed to stop me taking Twilight's virginity was that she leapt off of me while I was about to bury myself inside of her.

And right about now, the only burying that was going to go on was me going about six feet under. Or how ever many feet they used for equine standards.

"Shining, look. I can explain." Twilight said to her infuriated brother as he walked towards me.

I jumped out the bed walking to my left as I tried my best to put my dick back inside of my pants. "Hey, no need to-"

"I just caught you trying to deflower my sister. And last I checked, she was supposed to keep herself chaste." Shining stated as he still quickly walked over to me.

Trying to circle back to where I could back out of the door, I did my best to keep him distracted. "I'm sorry. Look, I know that this is bad, but I can assure you that-"

Shining saw through my plan and shut the door behind me, causing me to back into it. In a panic, I struggled to get it open while I could already feel his breath searing against my neck. "I don't need to be assured of anything. This is the second time I've caught you like this. The first time was when Twilight was about to kiss you, and now this."

"Twilight was drunk!" I defended. "And plus I didn't have an interest in her then."

"You... didn't?" Twilight whimpered quietly.

Me and my big, dumb mouth. Now I know I've said something that I'm gonna regret. "Look, Twilight. What I meant was-"

"Is that you didn't like me from the start? Is that what you're saying?" She said, starting to become somewhat aggressive towards me.

"NO! I like you. A LOT! You just don't know how close you've grown on me! I really, REALLY do like you now!"

"Oh, because my sister was about to give herself to you is when you say you like her? You're no different from the boys in the barracks. All for getting a mare so you could chase after tail." Shining intervened, standing in front of his younger sister.

"No! You're just assuming-"

"I'm assuming? No, I already know. I know what you wanna do. You wanna start with my little sister, thinking that you could just go start a harem of some sort."

"No that is not the point! She's much more than that?"

"Then who's to say that you haven't made yourself available to somepony else, just in case your efforts with my Twily were to fail?"

"It's not like that! I swear to you!"

"Prove it." Twilight mumbled, causing me and Shining Armor to look in her direction. "Prove to me that I am special to you."

My jaw clenched as I tried my best to come up with a quick answer aside from her being a princess. And the last thing I wanted to say was that she sort of remind me of my one true friend in the human world. To do that would be counterproductive towards my point. That was the last thing I needed to say.

"Twilight-"

"You said that there were far too many ways to count on how special I was to you. Now is your chance to prove it."

I cringed as the details of that one fateful evening came rushing back up, just like her previous meal came rushing back up to my shirt. Some of the things I had said because I was nervous of being around her based on the sole fact that she was drunk. Had I known that she'd grill me for what I said that night, I would've just left it at a simple yes. But now, my white lies had followed me back to here, and I didn't even remember half of what I had said. The first thing that came to mind was the first answer I gave.

"You... I have grown to admire you because of your... your..." Damn, dude! Don't fuck up now! "Uh... well..." I could feel my sweat pouring off of my forehead like water from a faucet. My throat grew dry. I had started to cough for no reason. My breathing grew staggered. I couldn't form a single, cognitive thought because my mind was so focused on an upset Twilight Sparkle, who seemed as if I had led her on. I felt fear because I knew from the moment her tears started to fall, would also be the moment that he started to pound me into a red mush.

"So I'm nothing, then?" Twilight finished while I still struggled to say something.

I really didn't want her to start crying. "Twilight... I can't put into words what I feel, okay. The thoughts I have and the words I speak are on levels so distant that they couldn't come to terms on what to execute. I... just couldn't tell you because... the words I use to describe you eludes me."

Shining's horn flared up as he took a step in between me and his sister. "Then how about I come up with a few words to say to you."

As his magic flashed before my eyes, I had found that my surroundings had changed entirely. Looking around me, I saw that I was back in my bedroom. And standing before me was none other than Shining Armor himself. Using his magic, he turned my head towards my bed.

"Do you see this bed?"

"Yes." I squeaked, fearing that he'd break my neck if I had said something out of place.

"That is your bed." He stressed angrily. "Which means that you are to stay in your bed. Not share one with my sister, not sleep in one with my sister, not have sex with her in ANY bed in general."

"I'm sorry." I weakly apologized as I started to feel his magic gradually squeezing my neck.

"Furthermore, she is a princess. So her chastity is not without reason. Princess Celestia has insisted that she'd stay pure until she meets with a stallion to marry. My mother also insisted on this concept since her foalhood so that she could focus more on her studies and not on colts. And you doing this had put one of her most sacred vows at risk."

"I'm... sor...ry..." His grasp on my neck began to cut off all of my air.

Walking up to me, he made sure that I could feel the breath fresh from his mouth as he whispered in my face. "So... that said, you stay the fuck away from my sister, or I will have you speared. Do I make myself crystal clear?"

"Eee... uuhh....urk!" My best attempt of speech was harshly snuffed out by a ring of magical energy. I wormed myself as I tried to find some means of obtaining air. Sadly, his arcane grip was far too strong for me. In seconds, I could see my world starting to fade into black. But not before Twilight had teleported into the room herself.

"Shining, what are you doing!?" She shouted to him, trying to pull his foreleg from under him. "Stop this!"

In the small tunnel of light I still had, I could see the cold menacing glare of the Captain of the Guard, carving it's way into my very being. He clinched his teeth and growled as he continued to tighten his grip on me.

"SHINING, STOP! YOU'LL KILL HIM!!!" I heard Twilight shout at the top of her lungs as my body started to go limp. My eyes rolled as I started to resign myself to unconsciousness. The princess still screamed at her brother, almost crying even. "SHINING, DON'T DO THIS!!! PLEASE!!!"

Finally breaking eye contact, he released the grappling ring around my neck, granting me with the gift of the air. I drew in a long, guttural breath, collapsing to the ground below. Coughing and gagging, I welcomed the oxygen back into my lungs. My vision had started to return to me as I took more breaths.

"Twilight, I don't want you being so close to him. He's not even our species." He stated to his younger sister, looking at me with condemnation.

The princess gasped, appalled at the words her brother spoke. "What? Are you even listening to yourself!?"

"I understand that you want to be his friend. But he's not staying here and he's not gonna spend anymore time than he has to!"

"That's not true."

"So he's staying now?"

"I... no... he-"

"Then restrict your time with him."

"Shining-"

"Your duty to him is solely to be his caretaker, not his lover. And I will be damned to see that my sister breaks her chastity vows with something that isn't even equine."

"Wh-what does it matter to you!? It's my vow to break. And plus you may be Captain of the Guard, Prince of the Crystal Empire, but this is my jurisdiction! Ponyville and it's citizens are under my care!"

"He's not even a citizen! And furthermore, you're my little sister. That said, you are my jurisdiction!"

Twilight almost sounded beaten as she started to back off of the argument. "I'm... not-"

Shining walked over to Twilight, lowering his voice to a calm, warm whisper. "You're my baby sister, the only one I have. I won't let you make this mistake. And I am a member of the guard just so that I could protect you. You remember what we promised to each other?"

Twilight looked over to me for a quick second before looking back to him. Her face filled with sadness. "That we'll protect each other, from dangers seen and unseen. But I can handle this."

His voice started to become stern again. "Twily-"

"I'll find a way to make things work. I'll find a way to make it where nopony gets hurt. I swear."

Still grasping at my throat, I stood up off of the floor. I made sure that I was slow so that I didn't alarm anyone. Still feeling a little raspy from the earlier attack, I spoke to Shining. "Look, I'm sorry. Things just got out of hand. What had happened back there, I'll take full responsibility for it."

"We'll take full responsibility for it." Twilight corrected as she stood in front of me.

Shining, still unconvinced at me, looked towards his younger sibling instead. "Twi, you know that you'll be punished for that."

Lowering her head, she confirmed her brother's words. "I understand. And it was my fault that I didn't say anything about my vows. I only explained to him that I was chaste for the purpose of my studies. Not only that, but I was the one to remove my rings. I actually came on to him... He didn't do anything."

Knowing that what she said was a lie, I offered to correct her. But I was silenced by a magical zipper sealing my mouth shut. Twilight gave me a quick scolding look before turning back to her brother, who still looked at me with disapproval.

"...This will never happen again." He said in a low voice. "Twily, let's go."

The sounds of hooves clopping against my floor is all I heard as I watched the bulky unicorn stallion walk out of the room. Twilight soon followed after, but not before stopping at my doorway to speak to me.

"Why don't you go explore the town? I'll need to take care of things here. And your being around will only provoke my older brother."

I sagely nodded in agreement, hoping that everything would work out between the two of them. "You're gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine. You?"

Clearing my throat, I was more than happy to still experience the air flowing in and out of my body. "I've had worse."

"I'm so sorry about Shining. It's just that-"

"TWILY!!!" We heard him shout from down the hall. Instantly, Twilight jumped at the sound of her brothers voice booming at her.

"Maybe later." She whispers before galloping down the hall, leaving me to my room.

I think I was going to take her up on her advice on leaving the palace. It definitely seemed like the best and safest option. To be hanging around a volatile Shining Armor, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Taking my walk into the town, I had noticed that I still had a small amount of daylight left over. The sun was close to meeting with the horizon and I was as far away as possible from the castle. Looking around, I could see the various ponies making their ways off to their homes. Various vendors in the market have already started to pack up and leave. And I'm here trying to avoid going home for whatever reason. I needed something to distract myself while I waited for a decent hour to return back to the castle.

"Fuuuuuuuck... I'm bored." I droned out loud. At the very least I was bored and safe rather than entertained via an ass whopping from the princess' older brother. "There isn't much to do at this time of the day."

"I couldn't help but to overhear that you were in need of some light entertainment."

Oh hell, it's Discord. Well, at least this couldn't get any worse.

"So where are you hiding now?" I asked loudly, looking all around me.

"Look below." He answered, causing me to look at the ground. All I could see was a bird. But knowing Discord...

"Cut the bullshit. Why are you here?"

Discord, in the shape of a small bird, flew up to me and started to hover in place as he talked. "Well, I couldn't help but to overhear of your recent run-in with the Captain of the Guard."

Not surprisingly, he knew of my reason for leaving the castle. "Okay, little birdie. What else did you hear?"

"Oh, that's about it. I managed to listen in on when that brute, Shining Armor, was giving you a demonstration on the magical properties of unicorn gripping spells. And now you're wandering the streets in search of something to do with your new-found spare time."

He's not that far off though. "Okay. But that still doesn't explain why you were listening in on someone else's business."

Discord took a quick intake of air before he spoke. "Well, similar to you, I was left to wander the town. It seems that Fluttershy is very upset with me."

Cocking an eyebrow, I found myself trying to process Fluttershy being angry with Discord. If anything, she would normally give him a quick scolding rather than be angry at him. A very confusing revelation, indeed. "Upset? What did you do this time?"

"This time?" He asked, seeming offended as he transformed back into his original state.

"This time." I restated. "To be honest, you're always doing some shit. And I just so happen to be a new target for you to fuck with."

"Now now," He said as he patted me on the head. "You know what dear, old Applejack said about using such language."

"Question one: Is she here? No. Question two: Do I give a fuck? See answer to question one."

"Eh, I suppose I'll waste some of your time."

"Well get to it."

"It all started on a Saturday, at nine in the afternoon, when I drew my first breath in this world. From that very moment, I knew that my destiny was to-"

Facepalming myself, I interrupted his autobiography. "I said explain what had happened between you and Fluttershy, not give me your life story. If this damn story needed anymore character development, then I'm pretty sure that would occur in a later chapter."

"Yesh! No need for spoilers, Mr. Spoilsport."

So long fourth wall, hello dislikes and complaints in the comments.

Groaning loudly from Discord's annoying antics, I crouched down to bear with an uncomfortable headache. "Just tell me what's wrong." I said as I massaged my temples.

"Well... You remember that story about Fluttershy and that one vendor who embarrassed her in public and called her a doormat, correct?"

"Yeah. What about him?"

"I decided to pay him a visit."

Halting my massage, I turned my full attention to the draconequus. "...Carry on." I was genuinely interested in what he did to this guy. I wanted to know.

"I offered him a cherry. He immediately rejected me, calling me all sorts of names. I swear, you turn the streets into soap, make it rain chocolate milk from cotton candy clouds, flood a farm and try to take over all of Equestria with a power-hungry centaur and suddenly everypony starts chasing after you with pitchforks and torches."

"Just get to the fucking point, already."

Discord rolled his eyes as he waived me off. "Well, I know that Fluttershy would appreciate the intricate details of proper storytelling, but since you say so."

"Okay. Now back on track."

"So after his little rant, I decided to fill his entire plumbing system with cherries."

"Ingoing or outgoing?" I inquired.

"Both."

Sometimes, I was at war with myself over whether I should hate this guy or like him. But I gotta say, filling his plumbing full of cherries sounds like a pretty splendid idea. At least he can say that his shit does smell like... Oh fuck, that's funny. While I tried my best to remain stoic in the midst of suppressed volcanic laughter, Discord carried on with his story.

"So his pipes burst and now his entire home is left a mess. I told him that he shouldn't be such a doormat over the situation and he tried to punch me in the face. Me! I mean, who would want to punch this lovely grin?" He asked, smiling at me.

Being totally honest, I'd rate his face a good ten-of-ten. Would lovingly maul the shit out of it with a power sander and a chainsaw for good measure. "Weeelllll... Continue with the story."

"So when Fluttershy had gotten word of it on our way back to the cottage, thanks to him screaming at me from across the street, I managed to get a good talking to. And soon after, she had left me to find comfort elsewhere."

"Ouch." I had mumbled quietly, sympathizing with his current predicament.

"Yes. So my reason for lurking about is of the eviction variety. At least, in your case, it's more of a cool-down."

Yeah. Life can be a bitch, no matter how well she's dressed. "Wow. So what do you plan on doing now?"

"Well, I was actually on my way to the castle to speak with Twilight so that she could see about me spending the night. That's when I managed to overhear about your little situation."

I'm impressed. He actually had a legitimate reason for his trespassing. Under normal circumstances, I would expect him just to do it so he could have some useless gossip. But now, I could see that he was. in a literal manner as one Discord stood next to the other who was sitting down and blowing some tissues, quite beside himself.

"Do you have anymore tissue?" He asked.

Checking my pockets, I had found a small set that I would use in case of nosebleeds. "Here you go."

"Thank you so kindly, Nondis. I don't know what I would do without you."

Well, you could just go talk to Fluttershy... but that won't end well for either of them if he does that now. I had to think of a plan for Discord...

Oh God. I'm helping Discord. What in fresh prince of blue hell is this?

"So... what are you planning to do?" He asked me as I tapped a finger to my chin.

Shrugging my shoulders, I thought about heading over to Rarity's place. "How about the Carousel Boutique?"

The eldritch-like drake shook his head. "I'm afraid Rarity doesn't like me too much. She also caught wind of my antics and have placed me on a temporary ban from her shop. Why not the farm?"

And censor myself for the sake of someone else's hugbox-of-a-home? ¡No me gusta nada! "No thanks. I like my freedom of speech intact. And I can't fly, so Rainbow Dash is a no-go."

"So I guess..." That would leave Pinkie Pie. "...oh no."

"No is right."

"No."

"No no."

"No way in hell."

"Not tonight."

Chuckling a bit, I was amazed that we had managed to see eye to eye. "I like Pinkie and all, but she has a mouth that runs-"

"A million miles to every ounce of air."

"Yeah, that." And neither I nor he wanted to be talked to death by her. If anything, she was going to have us party all night... "That's it!"

"What am I missing?" Discord quietly asked me, seeming baffled at my sudden outburst.

"Discord... I know we may not always see eye to eye, but I know that Fluttershy is not one who can stay angry at you for very long. Meaning that she can hold a grudge doesn't mean that she can stay angry over what you did, especially if it was to that one guy." Because she's honestly giggling at the joke in between the lines. "So if you were to not go back, or go visit her..."

"She would miss me."

I know this is taking advantage of her personal fault of being kind, but if I was going to get Discord back into that cottage, I was the one who needed to play the shady guy in the dark alley. And if Twilight is neurotic towards me since she looks after me, then Fluttershy would be the same towards him.

That and we'd both be kept entertained for the remainder of the night.

"Yes, but what would we do all night? There isn't a single decent place open at this time of the evening."

Still thinking about how he managed to get himself into this situation, I decided that I should embrace my inner-deviant. There were plenty of ponies who would go out to restaurants for dating reasons. Tonight was no exception. There were three locations, two of us and all the time left in the world.

"Hey, let's go on a little... punking spree."

Three hours have passed since the start of our punking spree. In all the time it took us to move from the movie theater and change out the scary movies with boring nature specials that only an animal lover would appreciate, swapping out the menus of the diners with other restaurants in the area, informing the chefs that they had a night off and hiring the cooks from the fast food joints, yelling at ponies in the bushes and turning wedding proposals into nightmares of wedding ring boxes trying to eat the soon-to-be grooms, we have come to realize that our night was a resounding success.

And a fun one, to boot.

As we triumphantly marched down the street with a walking tub of ice cream as our drum major, we had found ourselves at the outskirts of town, close to the Everfree forest. While Discord veered over to a distinctive tree over a hill, I chomped down on a scoopful of ice cream.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I had asked the silent draconequus. .

"Nothing. It's just that I'm wondering how dear old Fluttershy is doing right now."

"I'm sure that she's fine. If she really wants you to come back, she'll come looking for you."

"I know... It's just that I don't like to keep her waiting."

For a while, there has been one question that lingered in my mind as I saw those two for the first time. I had noticed while everyone else had treated Discord as if he was a nuisance, she was eagerly flying in the air as he came to visit. Her smiles became a little more open. He'd practically turn himself down several notches while she was there. Not only that, but she had invited him into the comfort of her own home. I knew that it was rude of me to ask if they were seeing each other, but it was a question that burned in my mind since my arrival here.

"Hey."

"Yes." He solemnly answered.

"Do you like her?"

Appearing surprised, he tried to laugh it off. "Me? Like her? How could that be anything?"

"You seem to like her."

Suddenly, the draconian creature started to fumble with his speech. "Why... I-I-I never saw her as more than friends!"

Really? That is one big ass elephant in a small ass room. "So you don't like her?"

"No. What made you ask that?"

"Well, I only asked because she gave so much to you. Hell, even when the others had counted you out, she still stayed in your corner. Even when it got bad, she stuck it out for you."

"Nope. I would never think of Fluttershy that way." I don't see how he's denying this so much. "And besides, do you honestly think that I should invest my emotions into something that wouldn't be willing to invest in the same thing?"

Oh... He doesn't think she's interested. So as a means to harden himself, he's denying it altogether. Not a good way to go about it. "What do you mean?"

"Fluttershy sees me as a friend. I mean, we have our moments where we don't exactly get along but at the end of the day..." He starts to trail off, looking to the cottage at the top of the hill. "I don't see why we're even having this conversation."

"I think it's something to talk about." I stated, chomping down on the last of the ice cream.

"It's not really anything worth speaking on."

Silence grew between us as I swallowed the last wad of butter pecan. After a few seconds, I finally spoke up. "I think you should speak to her."

"Now?"

"Whenever you're ready. Tell her how you feel."

Scoffing at my offer, Discord summoned up an odd looking tree to sit on. "And what would that do? I'm nothing special to her." Sadness soon filled his voice. "She doesn't even see me as anything more."

"Have you asked her?"

"...Why do I need to?"

"You're scared to ask."

"I am not!"

"Then ask her one day. You'd be better off knowing how she feels than voluntarily being in the dark the entire time."

Discord adjusted himself on the top of his 'Thinking Tree', dangling his head down to the ground as he hung upside down. "Perhaps, I just don't want to know."

"Why is that?"

"Because..." An exasperated sigh left his body as he sagged. "I'm afraid that she'll reject me."

"That's it?"

"You make it seem as if it's easy. I don't like being rejected. It only infuriates me."

Shaking my head, I leaned against the tree he laid on. "How much does it infuriates you?"

"...Can we talk about something else?"

"Can you stop running from your heart? I don't think that's a possibility being that it's in your body."

"Then you don't know me. I'm the Master of Chaos."

Laughing a little bit, I mocked his claim. "Then you'll love being in love. That shit makes not a lick of sense."

"...I already am."

Stopping to turn back to the sulking creature, he summoned a picture of him and Fluttershy smiling at each other. "...But you just said that you didn't like her."

"I don't. I love her. There's a difference."

Taking a seat on the ground below, I kept my ears open for what he had to say. "Okay. So... what do you feel when you're around her?"

"Pain, pleasure, sickness, wholesomeness, joy, sorrow, elation, depression. I feel many things as I am composed of many things, but at the very least my body is able to come together. This... love. I cannot understand it. It confuses me, which I should like because it doesn't make sense. I mean, love itself is a chaos of it's own accord. And yet, I hate being so into it. It's a chaos that I cannot control."

"Yeah. Shit hurts a lot. I know."

"Do you?"

Melanie. Nuff said. "...It's a long story."

"We have the night. I'm sure that it's not too terribly late."

I knew that this was going to be a lot to tell, so I prepared myself to finally disclose, in detail, my friendship that turned sour. "...Well-"

"Discord?"

Interrupted, both he and I turned to the source of the voice. Our voices sounded out in unison as we saw a curtain of pink hair covering the face of a yellow pegasus. "Fluttershy?"

She kept her head low as she turned around, facing her cottage. "Discord, let's go home."

Discord jumped off the tree and walked over to her. "Fluttershy, I'm sorry."

"I know." She simply answered. "Now come home."

As the two started to walk down the road towards the cottage, I followed behind them, still making sure that everything would be okay between the two of them.

When we had finally climbed the hill, Fluttershy opened the door and showed Discord inside. I stayed by the doorway, uncertain if I should be following past this point. Starting to walk away, I heard Fluttershy quietly mew out to the draconequus.

"I love you too."

I almost broke my neck as I looked back to Fluttershy, who had tackled Discord to the floor and started to kiss him. It was apparent that my presence was far from needed. It was already getting late. Maybe I should be heading back home myself. Glimpsing back, I saw more than enough than what I had needed to. Discord was laid out on the ground as Fluttershy eagerly dropped her body on top of his. She gasped as she hurriedly slammed herself into Discord, who was lost in ecstasy.

Yup, a mare and her mate having at it on the very boarder of her doorway. Quiet gasps of air had turned into lustful moans and urgent grunts. It was almost like one of those nature flicks that we managed to swap out with the slasher flicks.

"Harder, Discord!"

Yup... Just as nature intended.

"Oh Fluttershy! I'm so sorry!"

"I know you are! NOW RUT ME HARDER!!"

So much fucking nature. So educational. Such graceful sounds.

"YES! FILL ME WITH YOUR BABIES! I WANNA HAVE YOUR FOALS!"

"Fluttershy, I'm coming. Quick, grab my balls!"

...And that over there is a tree. I'm gonna go get a better view of that hot maple action going on over there. Away from the cottage. Far away from the cottage.

From one tree to the next, I kept convincing myself to follow the trees on back to town. Wow. Those two were repressed as all hell. Since my departure, I could still hear the two howling into the night as I made my way back to the castle. And after a bit of a walk, I had landed myself into the front lobby. It wouldn't even take me a full minute to find my room.

Finally in the sweet, comforting embrace of my bed, I knew that I was home. Rest would soon greet me as I landed myself into my bed. The long, eventful day had led me from a park, to Twilight's bedroom, to my bedroom getting choked by her older brother, me taking Discord on a prankster's night out, my navigating to the castle as I heard two feral creatures mating in the distance and finally to my bed.

I'm so tired that I might just take my shower in the morning.

Something seemed off about the sound of the knocking at my door. It was slow, but it was more heavy-hoofed. Assuming it was Shining Armor, I feigned my sleep.

The knock, still timid in it's timing, persisted as time went by. After a little bit, I finally caved and rose to open the door. As I answered the door, I had to rub my eyes and check if I was seeing things correctly or if my vision was blurred from exhaustion.

"Princess... Cadance?"

She quietly whispered to me as she looked both ways. "I need to speak with you."

Feeling a little groggy, I decided to delay our conversation to a time more suitable for me to deal with. "Sorry, princess. I've had a long day. Can we talk in the morning?"

"It's very urgent and I am coming in." She said, sounding distressed.

Opting to challenge her, I stood in her way, but was quickly dispatched as she magically shoved me to the side. Closing the door behind her, she stood before me.

"I need to talk to you about what had happened earlier. I feel like I should explain a few things."

Assuming that she was talking about Shining, I decided to dismiss the conversation as quickly as possible so that I could get to sleep quicker. "If it's about your husband, then all is forgiven. I understand that I was in the wrong and-"

"Yeah, I know that." She hurried stated. "But I feel as if you don't have a clue as to what's going on."

Yawning, I tried my best push my words through. "That's a distinct possibility."

"So Twilight has never talked to you about her chastity vows?"

Immediately, my mind reeled back to the moment Shining had started to choke the air out of me. "No. But I heard a bit from Shining as he was about to put me to sleep."

"Nondis, Twilight is in deep trouble over what has happened between you two. And being that she hadn't explain her vows to you just made things worse for her."

Scratching my head, I asked the pink princess. "Worse as in how much?"

"Twilight is no longer caring for you."

I felt my heart drop as soon as the news hit me. My chest produced an empty, sinking feeling that came crashing in with guilt. "This is all my fault."

"From what she has informed me, your relationship with her was recent, like today-recent. So we can understand your not knowing of the royal chastity vows."

Waiving my hands, I pressed the princess for answers. "Wait a minute. What are these vows and what happens if one of them is broken?"

Cadance took a deep breath before settling down a bit. "The vows are simple. A princess must keep her body pure and chaste until the day of her mate's approval. Approval is made when there is another princess and at least twenty witnesses present. In the case of Shining and myself, our approval was a wedding."

"Okay." I answered. "So how long is the approval process?"

"Eighteen months, enough for the two to get to know each other."

So it's a year and a half. Sounds about right. "That makes sense. So what would happen if the vow is broken?"

"In Twilight's case, it's a minimum sentence. Separation from the royal and the unapproved."

"Okay. So what's the worst?" I asked.

"If a princess is deemed to be impure, then she is stripped of her title."

"And for the guy involved?"

"If minimal, then it's just separation. If maximum, then there are three courses of action. The first is that you are to be forcefully wed, as you are taking the responsibility of the broken vow. That is called a mended vow, meaning that it has been made right by the parties involved."

Apparently there was a lot more to those chastity rings Twilight wore aside from exhibition. "The second?"

"If the stallion refuses, then they were to be gelded." Oh, that didn't sound too bad. "Meaning that the testicles were surgically removed to prevent further mating."

HOLY FUCK, I WANT MY BALLS! I need those. I want my boys to stay firmly tucked right in my sack, still attached to my body. There was no way I was going to go through castration. A vasectomy is already hard on the thought, but this was far beyond that.

"...Third?"

Cadance took a pause. "This one is more of an archaic law, meaning that it's really old. And to my knowledge, it hasn't taken place as of yet. But from what I can remember, if a stallion was to force himself upon a princess, then he receives the maximum punishment. And that meant that he would be sent to the Badlands to live amongst the dragons. If he was to ever return, then he would be executed."

Suddenly, I'm feeling relieved that Twilight's punishment is at the very bottom of the ladder. At least her punishment was to be separated from me for a while. "So, I could've lost my junk."

"With you being a protected species, that would be a no. Which leads me to Shining."

"Let me guess, overprotective big brother?"

Cadance cringed as she tried to find a better way to explain herself. "No. More like super obsessive. Shining is a traditionalist, which means that he likes things as, and I quote, what they should be."

So is he right-wing nutjob bad, Tea Party bad, or just GOP conservative bad? "Is that a bad thing?"

"For you, yes. He is very strict when it comes to whoever's dating Twilight."

"How long has he been like this?"

The pink princess "Well, he's been like this throughout all of his life. It wasn't until days before we had gotten married where he became completely obsessive and skeptical towards another species being with a pony. But don't let his suspicions get to you. He'll still respect you."

"As long as I'm not dating his sister." Wow, that's like a farmer walking up to a man of a different color and shaking his hand, all while pointing a gun at him warning him not to get with his daughter. This place has a lot more parallels with my home than I had originally thought.

"Precisely. And as for Twilight, she will not be seeing you for a while. I mean, she will get to doing it again eventually, but not now. You're just going to have to lay low until this all has a chance to blow over. Give it about two to three months."

I'd be leaving around that time. So they want her to stay away from me until I'm given the green light to go back home. That really sucks.

"Okay. Well I now understand what's going on. Thanks for clearing that up." I said, walking towards my bed.

"Wait." She said, causing me to stop in place. Turning back to her, I saw that she seemed unhappy with the next bit of news.

"Okay. What's wrong?"

For the final time of the night, I made my way across town, walking side by side with Princess Cadance and one of her personal guards, Flash Sentry. Throughout my walk towards the next destination, Flash had talked to me about how bad he got it from Shining Armor the day after he rejected her. Throughout the morning shift, he was worked into the ground doing all sorts of physical exercises and simulations. Even going as far as performing suicides from here to Canterlot and back. And with it being an order from his superior, there was no way to reject it.

As for the reason why I am to Sugarcube Corner this late at night, there is a sound explanation. Being that Twilight was no longer taking care of me, that meant that all of her provisions towards me would have to come to a grinding halt. And with that bit of news meant that I was confined to a vegetarian diet once again.

It also meant that I didn't have a home to stay in.

I was even informed that in truth, Twilight had gotten off with a stern warning, thanks to the favoritism of Princess Celestia. But Twilight being her usual self, she still choose to follow through with the punishment. So she punished herself by giving herself that sentence.

In short, Twilight broke off her seeing me for the sake of making things right with her vows and her brother.

Finally arriving at our location, Pinkie opened the door with a very light smile on her face. After a few exchanged words and the movement of luggage, I was settled in. And as Cadance left, Pinkie closed the door behind them. I sat at a table on the other side of the bakery.

"Wow, Nonzie. You really did it this time." She said in a sympathetic tone.

Refusing to speak out of shame, I held my tongue. The only thing I wanted to do was to twiddle my thumbs until all of this blew over. Hell, I was hoping that this would be a done deal as soon as I had came back home. But instead, I'm sitting here in Sugarcube Corner, my new place of residence.

I snapped out of my daze as soon as I heard the rumbling of one of my bags. Turning around, I saw Pinkie trying to tote the cumbersome luggage on her back. I ran over to help her, but I found myself being rejected.

"No no! You're fine."

Finally opening my mouth for the first time since I arrived, I argued with her. "Let me help. It's my stuff."

"And it's my home. That means I'm accountable for you now."

Ignoring her, I grabbed the bag from her and started making my way upstairs. As I came to the top, I questioned myself on what I should do next. Pinkie walked behind me with a smaller bag and nudged me further down the hall. By the end of our journey, we had stopped in front of her bedroom. As soon as she opened the door, I was greeted with a mess of balloons and confetti. I even saw her pet alligator, Gummy, gnawing at an inflated balloon on her bedpost.

"Twilight had told me everything from earlier. She even told me what foods you like, what you'd like to read, the things that annoyed you at night and bunch of other crazy things."

Looking at the single bed at the end of the room, I knew that I was too big to lay on top of it normally. "So I'll be taking the floor."

Shocked that I would say such a thing, Pinkie dropped the bag she carried and bolted out in front of me. "No no no no no! Never! Not you! You'll take the bed."

"What about you?"

"I can take the room down the hall. I usually use it to keep the twins occupied. I don't mind sleeping there. It's okay. Go on ahead."

"Does it have a bed?"

"I'll manage."

Before I could say something against her, she walked out the room, taking her pet with her. "Bu-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake will talk with you in the morning. Just get some rest, we got a really early day tomorrow."

With a squeak and a click, the door closed, leaving me in a mess of balloons, confetti and my luggage. I supposed that she wanted to make me feel at home, but I just didn't. Comfort wasn't an issue, but rather my adapting to a new environment. I couldn't bring myself to take away someone else's bed, let alone Pinkie Pie's bed. Everything from the day had left a bitter taste in my mouth. Everything happened entirely too fast and I was completely unprepared. I wasn't even ready to hear the soft sobs coming from down the hall.

Pinkie was crying again.

I walked out of the room and followed the sound of her sobs to the room down the hall. As I turned the corner, I could see Pinkie laying next to a crib, wiping her tears away as she tried her best to suppress herself. Gummy held on to her mane, trying his best to comfort his caretaker. Pinkie knows that he's doing his best, but her tears still continued to roll. And it's all because of me.

I don't think I will be sleeping much tonight.

What will he do now that he's living with Pinkie Pie? Will he ever find a way to talk to Twilight again? Was it Pinkie who authored the mysterious entry? Stay tuned to find out.

I know that this started out a bit heavy, but I tried my best to even things out a bit. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.