The lobby of the Ponyville Pamper remained quiet save the monotonous sound of a ticking clock echoing throughout the room. The room was dismally lit save the area where the front desk was located. But being that it was so late in the evening, there wasn't really a need for the lights to be on... It's not usual that the place had gotten any visitors or renters, thanks to parts of the large castle that loomed just overhead. Some feared that they would be crushed by some of the large ornate vines that hung above.

Though it wasn't really always the case. The magic seed that was planted nearby never really took into consideration the established property lines. And it wasn't like Twilight could actually relocate it elsewhere, not to mention surrender a building permit for it. Some of the homes nearby lost value as the tree-castle stood in place for the past one and a half years. And the Ponyville Pamper wasn't any exception.

So the attendee sits at his desk, hoping that the place would gain new customers for him to fill his book. But thanks to a certain human, the only one known to Equestria, visitation has gone up significantly. It was because everyone in the town wanted to spend a day with the local biped who saved many lives in the week prior. Heroes do bring about some strange and unusual company. They also tend to bring out some rather famous names. So it's not like the attendant hasn't had anything to do to entertain himself.

But this night was a little slower on the visits. Usually he'd have to tell the paparazzi to stop loitering or chasing off the local young mares trying to get a glimpse of which room the human stayed in, and 'chasing' in his definition would be defined as trying to bribe the girls for their mailing information. This night was vastly different, as there were hardly any visitations coming from even them. But there was a visitor or two to come about just to speak with him personally.

A beautiful mare walked into the lobby, humming eagerly as she approached the front desk. While she approached, the stallion behind the desk glanced back once and turned to his newspaper, only to glance back again with complete shock. He jettisoned himself to his post and stammered as he drooled over the stunning pony.

"S-s-s-ss'cuse me ma'am, may I b-b-be of any service?"

"Why yes. I'm looking for one of your residents. I believe that he's here for an extended stay. He's the local human by the name of Nondis P. Haines."

The attendant didn't even bother reaching for the book under his desk as he allowed himself to be taken in by the mare. "Room 110, fifth door to the right before you turn down the hall. You can't miss it."

"Much obliged, dear." She said, quickly walking off as the attendant pulled out a small sheet of paper with his contact information on it. He ran from behind the desk while trying to get the mares attention.

"If you need anymore assistance, then you can feel free to inbox me directly!"

The mare didn't seem to care too much about what the attendant was saying as she approached the door numbered 110. She at last finished with her walk and started to knock on the door before something stopped her.

"...Come on now, old gal, it's not that difficult. Just knock on the door, ask him your favor and... slowly work your way into the room. Frustration and charm should carry on from there. Whatever happens... happens."

After whispering to herself, she walked up to the door, lifting her hoof to knock as she bit her lower lip. Hesitation found it's way into her foreleg, stopping her from even touching the wood.

"D'oooh! Why is this so hard all of a sudden? Usually I'd bump right into him and just let the conversation flow from the apology... NO! Buck up, Rarity! You can do this! This is all you! You've had to deal with much worse circumstances. And he's obviously frustrated Twilight, so I have this small opening to work with. I have said to myself that I would put this aside to get the object of my heart's desire. And now I am going to strike while the iron is hot.... Just any moment now..."

Her hoof has yet to move.

"Any. Moment. Now. Any young filly could deduce that this requires a specific timing. I must get this right. And it starts with my knocking on this door, right now."

Again, her hoof has yet to even move from the same spot.

"Arrgh! Alright! In the words of my beloved... though they may come off the tongue quite crudely... fuck it!"

She forced her hoof to bang against door softly as not to cause much of a commotion. While she waited, she stated to whisper to herself again.

"Don'trunaway. Don'trunaway. Don'trunaway. Don'trunaway."

As soon as the door opened, Rarity smiled brightly for a brief second before her smile deteriorated into a confused frown.

"T-t-t... Twilight?"

The purple alicorn smiled cheerfully as she spoke, her horn alight with magic. "Hey Rarity. What are you doing here?"

Rarity cringed lightly as she started to back away a bit. "Oh, you know. I just wanted to ask Nondis a little favor. Though that does bring me to ask why you've come to visit."

Twilight looked back into the room, smiling gently as she sighed. "I had to apologize for my behavior earlier. I didn't know that Nondis had gotten into a fight just before coming back. And I felt really guilty for trying to put him on the spot like that. But he also kinda admitted that he was trying to hide what had happened between us. After him not saying anything about me and focusing on Melanie, I snapped."

"Oh, so did things go over well?" Rarity questioned with a hint of disappointment in her tone.

"Yes! No problems here, though we're still on break. We'll be back together soon enough. We might even get back together tomorrow!" Twilight announced with a massive grin.

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" A voice came from the side of the room, apparently from behind another door.

"He says that we would be more than willing to sweep me off my feet and carry me back into the castle."

"THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WALKING YOU HOME AND TOTING YOU UP FIVE FUCKING FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!"

"We plan on sharing the room again."

"SHE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN THIS BATHROOM FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES WHILE SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO SEDUCE ME THROUGH THE DOOR! HER MAGIC IS TOUCHING ME IN PLACES I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED!"

"I have several make-up activities planned for his moving back in."

"MAKE HER LEAVE!!!"

Rarity cleared her throat before she spoke, all while placing a hoof to Twilight's horn to cut off her magic. "Um... Twilight, I'm beginning to think you have a bit of a um... I'm trying to place this nicely, err... conundrum?"

"What? What's the problem?" The purple mare asked.

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! YOU AND NONDIS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A BIT OF A SPAT!" The fashionista thought to herself as she translated her thought into something unoffensive. "Um, well I wasn't really expecting you to even show-did you say that you two were on a break?" She asked, finally realizing what Twilight had said long ago.

"YES, WE'RE SEPARATED FOR THE NEXT THREE-TO-FOUR WEEKS SO I CAN FOCUS ON MY JOB! NOW GET HER OUTTA HERE!"

Rarity cocked an eyebrow as she tried to look past the purple mare standing in her way. Twilight giggled as she glanced back towards the bathroom. "He's a bit rustled because I was making fun wit-OF... of him." Twilight stated with a nervous grin. "Yup... making fun of him."

"Oh so that's what she's calling it nowadays?" Rarity thought as she blushed a bit. "Well I'm sure that he would appreciate it if his distractions were at a minimum, wouldn't you agree?"

"THANK YOU!"

Twilight finally accepted defeat as she looked back to the bathroom with a gentle smile. "I guess I've kinda annoyed him enough. It was fun while it lasted. I guess I really miss being around him so much that I just kinda do what I normally do with him. Being close does kinda bring out those old vibes we had."

As the purple princess spoke, the sound of a shower running emanated from within the room. Rarity started to feel her cheeks become even warmer as her mind filled with the thought of the human stripping off his clothes and walking inside of the shower. With each heartbeat, an image of him came to her, every last inch of him completely bare and unclothed, his bashful attempts to censor himself, the dimples in his back, the muscles of his thighs, his linear-cut waistline thickening towards the top and thinning at the bottom. His upper pelvic region that she caught brief glimpses of while fitting him for some of her clothes. The small patch of hair that lead further down towards his most secretive area, the one place he continues to cover and the one place she has yet to see.

At that point, Rarity began to feel more of a warmth somewhere else. "Twilight, we should go."

"What's wrong?" she asked, seeing the distress in her friend's face.

"Darling, I think he's trying to take his shower in peace. Perhaps we should leave him to his hygienic practices." She said as she grabbed the purple mare by the hoof and ran down the hall. Twilight allowed herself to be drug along while the human remained inside of the shower to cleanse himself.

Rarity was thanking her lucky stars that neither she nor Twilight hadn't caught on to any musky smells.

Meanwhile, in the shower...

Damn teasing Twilight. You had to use your damn magic to start... FUCK! Cold shower it is.

The next morning...

Finally, I was ready for the big day. The day where I'd finally have to put on display the arsenal of the human race. It was something that I took a cautious amount of pride in, but pride is pride nonetheless. I could feel the immense amount of excitement running through my veins while I stared outside of the window. Of course that pride was overshadowed by something else.

Yeah, it looks like my demonstration would have to take a rain check, really. As soon as I woke up, I could see the bright sun splashing it's light all over the town. But as soon as I stepped out of the shower and into the closet, the sky had gotten a little darker. And before I had the chance to make it to the lobby, the sound of thunder and the white flash of lightning just outside of the front door told me that I wasn't going to be able to fire anything downrange for quite some time.

When Rainbow Dash says it's gonna rain, it's gonna rain.

So I decided to entertain myself by setting up the MOTIF and the speaker on the far-end of the room. After I finished hooking everything up, from the cords to the sustain pedal, I impatiently pecked at the keyboard, uninspired for much of the time. I guess having one of my own wasn't all of what I had made it to be if I can't let my imagination take flight.

My mood was reflective of the weather outside. I felt just as depressed as the outside had appeared to be. And it wasn't like I had a television or an XBox sitting on the front desk that I could use. This would kinda make things a lot easier on me, considering that I had two new games that I haven't even touched since I had gotten them. And a computer would also help distract me for a while. My phone wouldn't do too much thanks to the fact that I'm in a world deprived of internet, cell phone signals, and transmission towers.

Now that I think about it, I've been in this situation before. The only difference was that Twilight was keeping me busy in the library, helping her categorize everything by the Dewey Decimal System. It took us an entire day, but we finished it all. And whenever it rained again, she would knock all the books off of the shelves and have us start over.

I never really did like the librarian-mentality she had when I had placed something in the wrong spot.

Oh, visitors? I guess that would liven things up a bit. I walked towards the door and placed the chain on before cracking the door open. And to my surprise, Cadance was standing right in front.

"Hey Nondis. You mind if I we come in for a bit?" She asked.

"We?" I asked, before looking past her and seeing that Shining Armor was sitting right behind her.

Well this could go wrong quickly. "Oh... um... I wasn't expecting you guys to show up-"

Before I could finish my sentence, the door quickly closed shut and a magenta glow possessed the chain, moving it out of the way before opening the door once more. As soon as the door opened, Shining came busting in like he owned the place. "So what'cha with in here? I know the goods are in here somewhere."

I guess he came for the weapons. "Well, the box is over there, but you're not gonna find anything different in there than what you had already saw two days ago."

"Well that's a disappointment." I heard a third voice say from the hall.

As I jumped, I nearly broke my neck just to see Blueblood, Celestia, and Luna walking through the door. The only sound I could produce was something that sounded similar to a pelican. And shortly after, I had regained my ability to form words. "Wh-what... are you all doing here?"

"Well we were in town for the weapons demonstration, just like you requested. But it seems that you didn't consult with the weather ponies to hold off the rain." Luna stated as she looked out the window.

"This is a top-secret ordeal, Luna. I am sure that he would not be able to disclose the proper reason for canceling today's thunderstorm." Celestia said as she walked up to the bookshelf. She went through the books one-by-one until she had picked one up that caused her to blush a bit. "Um... Would it be cordial to read something like this?"

Luna glanced at the book and snickered. "Quite. But I do believe he saves it for a more... personal time."

Cadance walked over and bumped me out of the way as she cracked the book open and ran through the pages, stopping at a specific page. "Hey look, sweetie. This is the same one we practiced on the night of our wedding. I guess he's having some ideas on what he wants to do with Twilight."

I began to catch on to what they were looking at and tried to grab the book. Meanwhile, Shining had gave me a more serious glare. "As long as he's doing bad all by himself, he can practice as much as he'd like."

After grabbing the book, I slammed it shut and noticed that it said on the cover:

Pony Sutra; A Lover's Guide to Successful Mating Practice, Foal Conception, and Fun Tips for the Elderly

Why the hell would the elderly read this shit!? Honestly do anyone think that Granny Smith would pick this up and find some random stallion to go to town on... EWWW I JUST IMAGINED THAT! "This came with the room! I didn't bring this in! I don't even read it!" I tried to argue.

"And why not!?" Blueblood asked. "You would need to read up on what practices would be deemed appropriate as well as any additional kinks that young Princess Twilight may have."

"Mind you, that's my baby sister you're talking about." Shining said sternly towards Blueblood. Though I couldn't help that he was somewhat directing that towards me.

I need a drink, Clorox would do fine.

Cadance lightly pushed her husband. "Shining, Twilight's a big girl now. She can take care of herself. If she wants to sit on Nondis while slapping his ass with a riding crop while he's covered in primordial gelatin, then she has a right-"

Oh please don't make me visualize that.

"Should we begin to change the subject to a more important matter? Perhaps the weapons he wished to demonstrate for us." Celestia intervened, trying to get us to focus.

Thank you, so much.

"Sadly, that would not be possible until tomorrow." Luna said with a hint of disappointment in her voice. "We would have to wait for the rain to stop."

Shining walked towards the keyboard in the corner and tilted his head with curiosity. "Huh, this looks like a piano. The keys are a lot smaller than what we'd normally have. Does it work?"

As soon as he brought his hoof down onto the board, all I could hear was the sound of several notes crying out in horror while his hoof remained. He brought down another hoof onto the lower register, bringing out a crashing noise that continued to assault the ears of everyone in the room. I immediately ran over and knocked the volume slider down to zero where his obnoxious banging could no longer be heard.

"Yes, that's a piano, dear." Cadance answered while giving her husband a disapproving stare. "But I've never seen one like this."

"Perhaps he does enjoy his intellectual pursuits." Blueblood said as he walked up to the instrument. "Though I am uncertain how this can function without strings and hammers. Are they built into the device?"

"What I'm more amazed of is that our captain is a bit of a musical enthusiast." Celestia walked up and stood behind me, gently shoving a hoof into my back. "Well, show us what you're capable of? Please don't be shy."

"I don't really play all that often. I just go to the music hall and play whatever's on my iPhone. I usually do a little bit of boogie, a bit of jazz, and a lot of anime and games."

All five of them merely looked at me with patient expressions as they awaited me to press a key on the MOTIF. Their eager expressions only made me feel even more uncomfortable. I never really had to play in front of a ROYAL AUDIENCE. No pressure in the slightest.

"I bet I can do anything he does better than him." Shining mumbled to his wife, earning him a light slap to the back of the head.

Okay... I had something for his ass.

"Okay... then let's start with the right hand, shall we?"

For a slight moment, the palm of my hand came to rest as my fingers curled over the mid-section of the board. And with a sharp intake of air, I began.

My right hand began with a small series of grace notes before fully erupting into a complete monsoon of runs and riffs. My wrist began to receive quite a workout while I continued to keep my jaw clenched. I continued to concentrate while my fingers were busy crossing over one another, my wrist leaping from one part of the board to another. My fingers flexed, curled and motioned as if it was possessed by a demonic arachnid, carefully striking the notes according to the chord structure as if it was hunting down a particular prey. At one point, I decided to add a bit of country flavor into the piece before returning to the point of emphasis. After a short while, I finally came to an easier part that allowed me to speak.

"Now let's add the left."

My left jumped in, providing more context to the runs my right hand was playing. It sounded almost as if there were two different individuals running two different pianos. My left was more focused onto bouncing from pinky finger to index and thumb. My right continued to improvise against the basic structure that my left was providing. This time, I had to concentrate a little more being that the particular piece I was playing was indeed difficult. At a few points, I broke into chords just before going back into the song itself. As I reached the end, I decided to break it down into chords once more, followed by a right-handed glissando leading up to the last note. When my hand reached to the two highest A♭'s I played one in the lower register as well.

In reality, I had made a total of forty-one blunders that would go unnoticed by untrained ears. To them, I was flawless. With an exhale, I unclenched my jaw and looked back to the once-cocky stallion. "Okay, your turn."

Shining backed away as the others stood completely silent. Cadance levitated my hand into the air and flipped it over repeatedly. Celestia walked towards the instrument and lightly pecked a hoof at it, trying to make sense of where I had even started. Luna offered to help Cadance with her inspection. Blueblood continued to squeak as his jaw remained nailed to the floor.

"You know... I'm actually envious of Twilight now." Cadance muttered. "Just imagine what these things can do in more sensual situations."

"Mi Amore Cadenza!" Celestia hollered to her niece.

"She does have a point." Luna consigned with the pink princess. "It does beg to the imagination. And I heard that his massages for wings are to die for."

Shining shook himself out of his shock and started to express a bit of frustration. "Hey, we're not here for this. I agree that it was impressive, but we're here for the weapons demonstrati-"

The sound of the room became nothing more than that of the ringing that came from within my pants. With complete shock and amazement, I yanked out the phone and looked at the screen. On it was Cliff trying to get a hold of me. My eyes expanded as my hands began to shake at what I was seeing. I GOT A FUCKING SIGNAL!

"No way.... This is a lie." I said as I swiped the screen to take the call. I placed the phone up against my ear and started to speak. "Hello?"

"Yo, wat up fool! What's up wit'cha?"

"Oh my fucking God." I whispered unwittingly into the receiver. "It actually works."

"You good? I was wondering if you were at the apartment since I was able to call you."

"Actually I'm errr...." I turned around to see the five royals staring back at me strangely. I decided to take the call out into the hall. "Give me a sec." I said to the ponies looking at me. As I began to walk out, I continued the conversation. "Actually, I'm not even there."

"Where you at then? You can't get no calls over in that other place?"

I closed the door behind me and walked down the hall. "You wouldn't believe this shit dude. But out of fucking nowhere, this place decided to give me a damn signal."

"WHAT!? SO YOU REALLY IN-"

"Yeah!"

"AND YOU TALKIN' ON THE-"

"YEAH! Like no fucking joke!"

"So we can call yo ass and ask if we can come over then?"

"I think, yeah."

"Aww foreal? OKAY! I'm gonna call Rick and tell him we can come by. We wanna talk some more with the pony folk."

"Su-wait what?"

"Can you get back to your apartment so you can let us in?"

I looked outside of a nearby window to see that the rain was nowhere close to dying down. "Well, it's a bit rainy over here. I guess I can run-"

I pulled the phone away from my face to see that a certain someone was also giving me a call. Instantly, I could feel my stomach grab onto everything in my upper chest and pull everything downward. "Oh... I gotta call on the other line. It's Melanie."

"Alright then. I'll hit you up when we pull in. Later, bruh!"

Switching the lines, I knew that I was going to have to explain this to her somehow. But the question was how was I going to get her to understand that I was dating someone of a different species. Cliff and Rickey had to talk to the girls for over an hour for them to even get a hint on what was going on. In her case, I doubt she would even give it two minutes. I would have to ease her into this 'alternate world' thing. But for now... "Hello?"

"Heya, long-time no-hear-from. What's up?"

"Actually, you kinda caught me at a bad time. I'm working right now." I knew that she was going to ask me to hang out, but if I was already inviting the guys over, then I couldn't oversee their safety if I was hanging around Melanie for the remainder of the day. And not to mention that I was trying to keep Rick and Cliff a secret from Celestia until a later date. Not to mention that Shining would be trying HARD to recruit them into the guard. No need for the extra trouble.

"Oh, well I just wanted to check in on you. You feel any better from yesterday? I know you got knocked around a little from the fight with Jasper."

"I'm fine. How about you?" I'm not the one who was beaten on by a significant other in their own apartment.

"Oh, you know... It's going. I haven't gotten used to him not being here just yet. But at the same time I don't have to explain to the landlord why I keep getting the bathroom door replaced. So there's that, I guess."

"I'm sorry I can't hang out today."

"No! You're working. I get that. *sigh* Just... make sure you make some time for me. I would really like to see you again. Deal?"

"I can't make any promises. My job is a little demanding, but I'll try to swing by whenever I'm free. How's that sound?"

"Sounds like a deal to me. Now get back to work, I don't want you getting fired."

"Nah, I won't have to worry too much about that." I'm not lying. The only way I'd get fired is if I did something completely stupid and unimaginable. Otherwise, I'm either gonna retire from it or die an early death... hopefully the former.

"Thanks, Nondis."

"Okay, catch up with you later."

"Alright then."

I pulled the phone down from my face, completely caught off-guard by the sudden change. I actually stared at my screen for several seconds before looking back into the call log, just to make sure that I had actually received those calls.

"You okay?"

Again, I was caught by surprise by the sound of Cadance's voice. When I looked up, I could see all five of the royals looking at me with confused expressions.

"It seemed like you were having a full-blown conversation with yourself." The pink princess questioned. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Just as I said those words, my phone sounded off once more. I looked back down to see that I had received a text message from Rickey.

Sender: Rickey
Hey, just gt wrd from Cliff. The humans r nvading pony wrld! #letsgetit

Oh boy. How in the hell am I gonna-

"Yoink!" Cadance said as she magically absconded with my phone, reading the message. As she read it, she tilted her head sideways, tilted the phone sideways, and finally flipped it upside down. "Wait, I don't get this. Is this some sort of code?"

"HEY!" I shouted as I tried to get the phone, failing to do so before it got into Shining's telekinetic grasp. For royals, they sure do have a knack for playing around. Then again, whose to say that they haven't always been that way? But this ponies-taking-my-phone stuff is starting to vex me a bit.

"Sender: Rickey? Who's Rickey and what kind of name is that?" Shining said as he held me just an inch away with his magic. He continued to decipher the message. "It says... 'Hey, just... g.t.? Word from Cliff.' How do you get a word from a cliff?"

"Perhaps it is another name." Celestia suggested.

Luna looked from over Shining's shoulder and frowned. "There is a distinctive lack of vowels in this message. Perhaps adding them would give us better context as to what the message is saying. 'Just g.t... perhaps an ancronym. Just got the word from Cliff. The-"

I snuck a hand to Shining's horn and gave it a quick thump, knocking his spell out. Then I snatched back the phone back from the blue-maned prince. "If you don't mind, I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't just hijack my stuff from me. Please, ask next time."

As I was speaking, Cadance continued to look over my shoulder, trying to read the rest of the message. I swiped out of the message screen and locked the phone before placing it back into my pocket. "Aww, come on! I was just trying to figure what it said."

"I know that it had the word human and pony in the same sentence. Perhaps it is a code of some sort discussing a subject between us equines and you humans?" Luna said while trying to look into my pocket.

"There's even a picture of him dressed in a rather... interesting outfit on that device. From what I remember, it could take photographs, record audio and video, something else about playing games." Cadance added.

"Yup, it can do a lot of things. But right now, I need to get to the castle." I said as I began to walk back towards my room.

I came back and saw if I had needed anything aside from my phone charger. After coming to terms that I would also need an umbrella while in lack of one, I decided that I could possibly borrow one from the front desk. After grabbing my charger from the side of the bed and walking out of the room, I made my way towards the front desk. Meanwhile, there was a royal entourage following my every step, making me a bit uncomfortable.

When I had gotten to the front desk, a flash of light appeared just beside me. After that, I heard a piercing shriek coming from one side of my face. I turned back and saw that it was not Twilight that teleported beside me, but rather Sunset Shimmer. "AH! Oh, it's you."

"Well 'AH!' to yourself. What are you doing back here?" I inquired while rubbing my right ear.

"Well Twilight and I stayed up from around four this morning till now to work on a little something for you."

From four in the morning? Must've been one hell of a 'something' for them to be working on it for so early in the day. "What is it?"

"Well, I came here to tell you that you needed to come to the castle in order to find out. Twilight and I want you to see this for yourself."

"Wow, early bird." Cadance mumbled from behind me.

"That's my little sis. She's always up and about when there's new things to be explored." Shining stated proudly while sticking his chest out.

Celestia nodded in agreement. "Twilight has always been like that, ever since she was a foal. Even when I would inform her that it was time for bed, she would stay locked up inside of the Canterlot Library, trying to find out about everything there is about Starswirl and magic."

Sunset laughed nervously while backpedaling a bit. She was obviously uncomfortable with Celestia praising her latter student so openly, and for a legitimate reason. "Yeah, that's... Twilight alright."

"Come on, let's go see what you and Twi have set up. I know that the both of you worked your butts off for you to be just now announcing it." I looked to the side to see Sunset smile again, as I walked up to the front counter. I rang the bell and spoke with the attendant. "Hey, got an umbrella I could borrow? I don't have one and it's raining a zoo out there."

"Um, we have some but they are a bit small for you, sir. I'm so sorry."

"Meh, it'll work."

After running through the front doors, I had taken notice that one of the umbrella stems had broke from the wind. I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn't anticipate that it would be that hard to deal with. But I was here and I had the capability to go back to my world and get my own. Tapping the umbrella against the open front door, I got rid of several loose droplets that would cause a mess. As I did, Sunset closed the door behind us while Twilight ran right up to me.

"Thank goodness you're here. There's no time to explain. Come on this way, I've got something that will blow your mind." She announced happily, despite her looking somewhat drained. I suppose I would be like that if I had woke up at four in the morning to create something.

As I walked behind, I couldn't help but to notice that she was veering off from side to side. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Never better! I've been up from three this morning trying to get everything organized if that's what you're wondering."

I didn't ask that, but it's a start. "Three? I thought Sunset said that you both started working on it at around four."

"We started at approximately four in the morning, not even a second late."

I looked back over to Sunset, who gave me a shrug. "I slept in early. Twilight notified me of what she wanted to do just yesterday evening. So I headed in early just to get enough sleep for me to not even be a bother."

Well that explains her. "Twilight, what time did you go to bed?"

"Does it matter? I'm more excited about what you're going to see in the portal room."

"What did you two work on?" I questioned Sunset once more.

"Don't even think about telling him!" Twilight exclaimed. "I want him to see it for myself."

"You mean... himself?" Sunset corrected her.

"Whatever!"

I nervously shook my head as we made our way up the stairs and walked into the portal room. When I walked in, Twilight hopped on my back with child-like enthusiasm. "TA-DA!" She hollered as she pointed to a rather large wire running from the back of the portal and up the wall.

Now I was confused. "Oh... what is it?"

Twilight slid and fell off of my back while Sunset used her magic to cushion the fall. The fiery-maned unicorn spoke for the both of them. "This is an inter-dimensional transmission cable. We're transmitting the signals that are being received throughout your apartment to here in Ponyville."

How the fuck do you do that? "I'm sorry, what?"

"Basically, we altered the portal a little bit. Instead of just being able to send you to and from your world, we placed several transmission antennas throughout your apartment and hid them in areas you weren't really using. So not only are they out of sight, but they're also out of mind... save the bunch of cords running towards the portal. But we also added a countermeasure for that too. We performed a cloaking spell on the wires so that you wouldn't see them."

"So now..." Twilight paused for a yawn. "...Excuse me, now you can keep in contact with all of your human friends on the other side."

Sunset gave me a slight nudge into my leg. "By the way, nice digs."

"Sunset and I also brought a bunch of your stuff over to see if it would work like it would over on your side. We can't get the internet to work just yet, but radio and satellite transmissions work fine here. However..." The purple princess yawned once more. "...Sorry, the signal drops every time the portal shuts down."

"So if you want to, you can make a few calls when it's up. As far as a time schedule that would allow you to make those calls, Twilight and I haven't worked anything out just yet. So you'll have to come and manually activate the portal for now. Just be sure to shut it off after you're done."

"Oh, thanks." Okay, now I know this wasn't a fluke. At least it explained how I was able to get the calls from Cliff and Melanie. This would make things a lot easier on my end, especially if I needed any help for something. In speaking of which... "Is it on now?"

"We just turned it off about a few minutes ago." Twilight answered. "So are you trying to go through right now or make a call?"

"Both actually." I said, walking past her and turning on the portal. "I just gave Cliff and Rick the go-ahead to come on back. They should be blowing up my phone by-"

"You're inviting someone over!?" Sunset asked while grabbing onto the bottom of my shirt. "When!?"

I looked back to the portal as she held onto my shirt, nearly ripping it off of my body. "Like, now-ish."

Sunset jumped away from me and squeed with glee. A click followed by a low-hummed whirring sounded in the room, indicating that the portal was activated. Looking to the side, I could catch the diminishing aqua flames around the lever. I couldn't even say anything else as I felt a strong magical presence force me towards the portal. As I was looking back to the flame-haired unicorn, she waved back at me.

"Well tell them to get their asses over here pronto! I want some more humans over to mess with!"

Not even a full two minutes later, the three of us walked through the portal towards an ecstatic Sunset Shimmer. The first portion of her conversation with the guys was typical pony-trans-human banter. And unsurprisingly, the guys took it with a grain of salt as soon as she stated that she couldn't transform to her human state in this world. Honestly, I'm not too sure that she even has a human form for as long as I've been around her. She hasn't shown any evidence of her being one. But I can't knock her off for being a liar if Twilight's able to identify what a human looks like prior to my arrival.

I'll have to ask her for a picture later.

A little bit later, I walked into the hall to see if there were any guards coming. When I had thought that the coast was clear, one came running around the corner and bolted directly towards me to inform me that Princess Celestia was in town (which I had long-been aware of). I also learned that in my short absence, there was an emergency weather change due to the appearance of Celestia in town. Nothing was asked, just done. Damn, I wish I had that kind of influence.

Not even seconds after he finished his report, Cadance teleported in and told me that everyone else was going to head towards Sweet Apple Acres. She also informed me that there's been a quarry eel advisory in place since they happened to come out more frequently after the rain. I didn't even consider those guys when booking the location so I agreed to postpone until a later date. She quickly responded with more news, saying that they asked Applejack if they could hold a privatized gathering at the back falls of Sweet Apple Acres. So I was to be expected to show up with just Twilight, my box of weapons was already there.

Yikes... They wanted this weapons demonstration and they wanted it today.

After shooing off Cadance, informing her that Twilight and I would be a little bit late, I crept back into the room where Twilight and the others waited. As I walked in, I thought about how I could get these tupperware bins to Sweet Apple Acres without alerting much of the population, despite the town now being aware of the royals wandering around town.

It made things a little harder to hide. "So... a guard kindly informed me that Princess Celestia was spotted in town and decided to head out to Sweet Apple Acres. We're gonna have the press on our asses in a few minutes."

"The press? Why are they coming after us?" Rickey asked.

"Well, Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer just so happens to be her former students, plus I'm captain of the Royal Guard, plus I'm the residential human who's being written as some sort of a hero. I still don't know how to react to that. So if they track us down, they'll probably get you two while snooping around the palace."

"Is that really a bad thing?" Sunset questioned.

"Considering that there are no other humans here besides me, yes. They'll gang-rush us and try to squeeze as many answers out of us as possible. It'll be worse than if we were Jay-Z and Beyoncé walking down the streets of L.A. ass naked."

While both Twilight and Sunset cocked their heads to a tilt, Cliff and Rickey had grasped the seriousness of the situation. "Yeah, that's pretty bad." Rick mumbled to himself. "So what now?"

"Well, let's just get to Sweet Apple Acres. Rickey and Cliff can come with us." Twilight suggested.

"Uh, it's raining a river out there." Sunset argued. "If anything, we're probably going to need to get these two back in the portal before the press comes marching in."

That's not a number we'd want to be in, but I think I may have an idea brewing up in my brain. "On second thought, I'm gonna need Rick with me. Cliff too."

"Howcome?" Sunset asked while looking at the other humans.

"Weapons demonstration. I kinda need to figure out what all I'm bringing." I said as I walked over to a turquoise plastic bin.

"I thought that was sensitive information." Twilight noted while glancing back to Sunset. "You said that-"

"I said no media, no press, no additional guards. I said that so that I wouldn't have to deal with the politicians when I had gotten back to Canterlot. And this was pretty much the main reason why." I finished before turning to Rickey. "So which of these are we taking, or rather what do you recommend?"

Rick clapped his hands and rubbed them together as he began walking around the room, pulling bins away from the walls. "They're color coded for each specific purposes the weapons inside of them would serve."

"Weapons?" Twilight asked with a surprised tone.

"Yup, I have them in bins of a certain color. Orange is self-defense, lime-green is tactical, the bluish-turquoise is assault, pink is for the things that goes pop, and the light-purple ones are filled with armor and junk."

"Sweet!" I guess I got more than what I for what I paid for. I already had so many choices with the guns, but now it's weapons and armor aplenty. We just have to find out what to bring with us for now. Not exactly a bad problem to have. "So you said the purple is armor, right?"

"Yeah, what all are you demonstrating?" Rickey asked.

"Originally, what I had bought the last time. Now, I kinda want to show the full armory."

"No need. Just get two bins, get one of the green ones and one of the blue ones. As usual, be careful when handling."

"Ammo's in the bins, right?"

"Yup!"

I reached into the purple bin and pulled out a protective vest. With a smile and a nod, I started to put it on. "Is this kevlar?"

"No, but there's a special ceramic plate inside that's built to resist bullets. It's good for the first couple of uses, but if you're taking on heavy fire, I wouldn't recommend it."

"Then I'll be set on this then." I said as I pulled out a second vest to toss to Cliff. "Hey, put this on."

"We ain't gon' be the ones getting shot at, are we?" Cliff asked cautiously.

"Nah, but I plan on just wearing these as a fashion statement."

"Okay, we cool then."

As the three of us continued to get everything ready, Twilight and Sunset grabbed each bin of the colors Rick called out. "We're taking all of the green and turquoise ones, right?" The peach-colored mare asked.

"Just one of each." Rickey announced as he took a bin and got ready to walk out into the hall.

"Wait wait wait, hold on a sec." I said as I turned back to Twilight. "We can't just walk out of here with these. There are two more humans present than what the guards would be used to. Do you have any sort of spell that could hide us for long enough to where we can get to the farm?"

Twilight scoffed as she rolled her eyes, a cocky grin showed up on her face. "Nondis, I can teleport, walk on clouds, summon powerful magic, and invert gravity. Cloaking would be the least of your worries."

Twilight... I'm so proud of you at times. This is one of them.

Unbelievable. I just couldn't believe my eyes. After all of that running and trekking Sunset and I did just to get into the castle in the midst of that thunderstorm, we came outside to see that it had looked almost as if we didn't even have any rainfall at all. We had lighting darting through the clouds and now the sun is out and beaming like it was just before I took my shower. But I don't have time to complain about how I didn't have that magical persuasion that Celestia had, we got shit to carry... dammit.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, the five of us came up to the gates of Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight and Sunset breathed a collective sigh of relief as they magically held on to the two bins we had brought along with us. For a while, the three of us interchanged the duties of lugging the heavy tubs from the castle to the farm. I wasn't more than surprised that they were a bit winded, those damn things are weighty as hell. But the three of us weren't the only ones who felt tired from the walk.

"Hey... *huff* ...how far... *guh* ...is this place?"

"Bruh... my legs are so gone."

"Shh..." I whispered to the two, who were still cloaked under Twilight's spell. "Just hang on a little bit further. We need to find out where they all went to first."

Just as I answered the two men, Applejack came trotting up with a big smile on her face. "Well, howdy y'all! Ah trust ya must be here fer the little gatherin' goin on at the swimmin' hole?"

"Oh for the love of..." I sighed while rolling my eyes. That's another ten-plus minutes of lugging shit across the farm. Sunset's tired of helping us with these large-ass tubs. Twilight's just tired in general. I know that Cliff and Rickey is tired as hell. We're all gonna be too tired to even do shit when we get there. "...So they're at the swimming hole?"

"Yup. Now Ah was told there was gonna be a bit of commotion goin' round the farm and that y'all didn't want nopony peekin' around. Big Mac an' Ah will try ta keep everypony off the back end of the farm while y'all do what 'n whatever. Just be generous an' clean up after yourself, ya hear?"

"Gotcha." I said as I looked at the barn. "You got a wagon we could borrow for a bit?"

Applejack looked at the bins and back to me with uncertainty. "What ya need a wagon for? Ya don't look like ya carryin' much."

"Applejack, please." Twilight pleaded. "These containers are a little heavier than they look, and we would much rather roll these back when we're finished instead of carting them off like we did on the way here."

The farm mare shrugged just before she walked off. "Oh. Well then y'all make sure Ah get it back fer tomorrow. Got a lot of harvestin' to do in the southern fields."

"Sure." I answered while placing the green bin I lugged here on the ground.

Behind me, I could hear the sounds of two bodies shuffling and resting on the ground. "Hey, how far is the swimming hole from here?" Rick asked.

"Ten minutes." Twilight responded as she placed the blue bin on top of the green one.

"Damn, I thought we were done walking." Cliff complained. "How the hell do you make these trips, Nondis?"

"I had to run against horses. My endurance is unbelievable since I left basic training... still doesn't stop me from getting winded from lugging fifty pounds of shit across town."

"Careful, don't let Applejack hear you say that." Twilight warned as she sat next the two bins. "You know how she is with you and cursing."

"The mice will play while the cat's away. I will continue to swear like a guard until I am no longer one." I responded carelessly.

"Well Ah suggest ya come on by more often for some good-hearted work!" Applejack answered as she came back with the wagon. "You'll be so tired, you won't even remember how to cuss! Ask Rainbow Dash."

And she's pretty bad when the occasion calls for it. "No thanks. I'm fine. My hands can't stand another round of that spiced rum."

Twilight got off of her haunches and powerlifted both of the bins with her magic, placing them in the wagon so that we didn't have to carry them across the farm. I could also hear Cliff and Rickey getting in the back while Applejack waited. After we finished loading up, Twilight, Sunset, and I walked in front while Applejack trotted off with the wagon.

"Hooboy, this here cart is mighty heavier than I thought it would be."

I could give her two reasons on why that is.

After a ten minute walk from the front of the farm to the swimming hole, we unloaded the wagon and dropped everything off by a table that Shining Armor had brought out. Again, it was lined with weapons of this world alongside the box of weapons I had brought to Canterlot. Several yards away were the same mannequins we used the last time, plus an additional five and one more just beside the table. Cadance was too busy looking at the sniper rifle, staring intently with a childish curiosity. Shining kept swinging his sword at the nearby mannequin. Luna and Blueblood seemed bored until we had finally arrived. Celestia was her usual composed self. Twilight and Sunset was relieved to get everything unloaded. And I am assuming that both Cliff and Rick are positively freaking out right now, as I could hear them squeaking about the two elder princess' manes.

Thankfully, they didn't speak loud enough to where it disturbed the others, but Twilight looked like she was on the last leg of holding her cloaking spell together.

"Took you long enough." Shining said as he shoved the blade against the fully-armored mannequin beside the table.

Twilight walked up beside me, looking as fatigued as she did just moments ago. It didn't go unnoticed by her former mentor. "Twilight, are you feeling well?"

"Just fine." She answered, producing a nervous smile. I am going to have to repay her for her troubles somehow.

"Indeed. And what's with that outlandish vest?" Blueblood questioned. "I know that Rarity wouldn't dare make something so... aesthetically compromised."

"Well this ugly-ass vest is armor back on my world." I answered as I walked over to the table and looked at the crossbow, internally laughing at how I was going to blow this thing out of the water. "Meanwhile, why did you bring all of this here again?"

"It's for comparisons." Shining responded. "I want to see if your human weapons would actually do the trick."

"The smaller one seemed to have performed admirably, last I remember." Luna added. "However, we have not touched the two larger devices."

"Especially the big one." Cadance cosigned while staring at the box.

With a smirk of pride, I walked over to the green bin and started to crack it open. "Well actually, I just wanted to add to the table today."

Upon opening, the first thing I came into contact with was a black crossbow with a scope mounted to it. Each side sported a drawing wheel and several torque cables. Along the bow itself lined the inscription TAC15. Oh this is gonna be fun. I carefully pulled out the crossbow and assembled the upper with the lower half that came with it. I then placed it on the table and started to crank the drawstring back using a ratchet that came along with it. As I did, Shining walked over and turned his head to the side. "No seriously, what in the actual hell is that thing?"

Luna walked along side him and looked on with bewilderment. "I am uncertain as to what it is. If I'm guessing by how the head is made, it would look like a crossbow of some sort."

"You guessed it." I answered. "I also brought a bunch of other goodies that would interest you. But for now, I'm gonna start with something that kinda bridges the gap between our worlds' weaponry."

"So that ugly thing with the holes in it is a crossbow?" Blueblood inquired. "I don't think that thing would even be structurally sound. One draw and it might break."

"That's why it's made of metal. But it's built with power in mind. This is what we humans would call a Tactical Assault Crossbow. It's used for a variety of purposes ranging from hunting to target elimination. This is also considered as one of the most powerful crossbows in the world to date."

"Okay, so if it's so powerful, what can it do that our crossbows can't?" Cadance questioned.

"Well, it's built to increase the weight and pressure that's used to launch the bolts into your targets. Of course this would be best mounted on a table, as you can already see." Before I could carry on, I felt a hand pat me on the shoulder.

"Mind if I get this one?" Rickey asked.

Well I didn't bring him for no reason. Guess I could let him carry on with the explanation. With a nod, I looked back to Twilight. "Oh yeah, I also took the time to not only add to the table, but I also brought in some help. Twilight, you can cut your spell now."

"WHAT!? JUST LIKE THAT!? But I thought-"

"I'll be sure to tell your brother to ease off. They're not interested in being recruited."

"Recruit who?" The blue-maned prince asked as he looked to his younger sister.

The purple alicorn closed her eyes and finally deactivated her magic for the first time of our tenure. Shortly after, there was a loud shriek that came from Cadance. The others looked at the pink princess as she pointed to the two men standing directly behind me. Gasps sounded as the group of royals stared at the three of us with nothing but complete shock across their faces. Sunset and Twilight did gain some amusement from their responses while Rickey and Cliff introduced themselves.

"Hey, there. My name is Richard Mario Santaña, my friends call me Rickey."

"Sup, y'all. My name's Clifford Deandré Stoudemire, they call me Cliff."

They continued to look at us like we were an alien species that just dropped down from the sky right before them. Though their reactions did begin to change overtime. I could already see the excitement building inside of Cadance as she begins to grin at the two new faces. Shining's eye twitched as he stared at us. Blueblood fainted on Luna, who held him away with her left wing. Celestia remained slack-jawed.

"Cliff, Rickey, these are the princes and princesses of the land called Equestria. These are my emp-."

Cliff was the first to break the ice between the two parties. "Imma let him finish, but I got something to say to the two bigger ponies. And forgive me for my bluntness, but I gotta ask... How the fuck do you do that with your hair? Like what the fuck do you put in that shit to make it like... that?"

Luna was taken aback while Celestia just gasped, sounding as if she was offended in some manner.

Mankind's first impression... yup, good start.

This chapter was difficult. I kept writing myself into corners and I had to redo parts of it over and over to make it work. Not too bad of a problem to face, but it does provide a bit of a challenge from time to time.

Also I wanted to show that the other royals do interact with Nondis in a non-casual manner. Even though he is the captain of the guard, they do tend to have a bit of fun with him being that he's getting along with Twilight. Shining and he are acquainted, yet they are rivals above all else. Of course he's only showing out since he's with company (Blueblood).

Now, let's discuss the personalities of the royals. Those of whom may want to wait until future chapters to figure them out would be encouraged to skip this part onward. Those who don't care as much may read up. Minor spoilers ahead.

Cadance, in case you haven't noticed, is a bit of a prankster, meaning that she has a care-free attitude about most things outside of her job. She's giddy and eager to learn about new things, almost to Twilight levels. But she's very determined to reform archaic laws that impede upon one's basic civil rights.

Luna is at times skeptical, yet she can be as care-free as Cadance should the occasion calls for it. And as indicated in an earlier chapter, she is quite the explorer towards anything unknown. But often, she may appear to be strict in certain subjects.

Blueblood is a playboy with the harem to go along with it. Despite his desire to live in a lavish lifestyle, entertainment, and enjoying the limelight, he's quite smart and can negotiate around much of what the politicians throw at the royals.

Shining Armor is the essential bridge of communication to those in the military. He's more of the representative of what's being said around the barracks, considering that he was and is a guard. His rivalry with Nondis is based on how a big brother would treat an in-law marrying his baby sister. But being that he has an unflinching respect for those in uniform, he does everything he can to see them move up in the world. So yeah, he tolerates and protects Nondis, but only because he wants to have rematch of their last spar.

Twilight Sparkle is the residential bookworm that does a lot of ass-kicking on the side. But thanks to her often-busy schedule, she doesn't have a lot of time to give outside of her inner circle of friends and family. And being that she was an antisocial for most of her life, flowing from a life of books, to one of danger and adventure, to one of princesshood at such a young age, she hasn't really had the time explore the things that most adolescent mares get to (like romance, sex, relationships, etc). So her personal life in regards to her is a little lacking, and adding in her nervous habits for over-analyzing things to the most extreme of outcomes, she tends to be a little clingy and prefers that everything would go by how she charts it out. But she hasn't quite figured out that relationships with significant others can't be wrote out in books or categorized on charts. She's a bit envious and jealous of other mares that starts to move in on Nondis (being that it's her first relationship and how she wanted to stress the importance of achieving it's perfection). She does show an unconditional desire for him... but how far would that desire go?

Celestia is pretty much an enigma. She's the only one I cannot disclose as it would reveal massive spoilers for future chapters.I have her character graphed and simulated, but I won't tell anything about her, you'll just have to read on to find out more about her and the Approval Law.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know that the next one would require a bit of [weapons] research before writing out. So that will be a bit before you see it.