It's Complicated
Chapter 16: Chapter XVI
Previous Chapter Next ChapterBack when I was in high school, my parents would give me two choices to make. The first one was that I had to go to college and make good grades. And if my grades had started to drop, then I had to follow through with a second option they had on the table, military. I know that my grandfather was a vet and my father was pushing one of us to be the soldier in the family who'd have stories to tell. Unfortunately, my grandfather had served in Nam back in '73. He still has nightmares where he can hear the screams of his fellow infantrymen being mowed down by machine gun fire. So you can tell that I really didn't want to be signed up to fight for greedy politicians that send us out to 'die for our country and fight for the freedoms of our families and loved-ones back at home.'
Think about it, none of those greedy fuckers wouldn't dare send their kids to march in the mud alongside the lower-class citizens. But hey, I'm not in the military... Correction, I'm not in their military. I'm not going out to fight because of a congress that seeks to line their pockets with money and oil.
Instead, I'm signing up for two reasons. One, I was forced into it due to a hidden passage of my approval process, meaning that I was to be an enlisted prior to our marriage. Two... well the second motive was one that grew from a statement by Captain-slash-Prince Cockblock himself.
He said that he would make sure that I'd fail.
I've never wanted to be in the military. Personally, I was just fine living the care-free (as if) life of a civilian. But now, since his little musings have landed in my ear, I've felt a flame that burned deep throughout my body. I felt a scalding passion engulf my arms and legs as I thought more about how he wanted me to fail. And I thought about just how much I wanted to prove him wrong.
...Or maybe that's just the aches in my body from the ten-mile run I had just finished.
Week 1...
I hate my life. I just wanted to be in a relationship with Twilight, not be the punching bag of my instructor. And the worst part of it all is that he's Twi's older brother. And he's Captain of the Royal Guard... And he prince of the Crystal Empire. He's all of the above.
I thought that my instructor was supposed to be Rainbow Dash. I wanted to at least have that comfort going in. So being that I felt that something was amiss, I decided to take it up with the office of admissions. I wanted to see if my name was for Charlie company rather than Delta. After several minutes of looking through files, they confirmed that I was enrolled in Delta. So then I tried to verify that I had another instructor. Of course, they tell me that I'm not getting any special treatment. I tried to tell them that Princess Celestia requested that I'd be placed in Charlie company. The colt behind the desk just stared at me for a few seconds before laughing his lungs out. After several more minutes of waiting around for him to stop laughing, he looked through the files on record. There were no files of the sort.
It was eleven at night. I've been running around grabbing my shit for training for at least sixteen hours straight. At this point, I've grown tired as hell of this ring-around-the-bullshit theme going on and retired to my barracks for some much needed rest... As if I was going to have any.
At around four in the morning, they woke us up the loudest and worst way possible. I was treated to a cold bucket of water for an alarm. You can already guess who was the one to wake me up. After I got out of my bed, I had to make it according to their specific directions, which all of us were failed to be notified of prior to this situation.
So after a brief demonstration by one of the higher-up's, Shining then instructed all of the other instructors below him to tear apart all of the beds and have us remake them according to what was shown to us. This continued for about an hour, as many of us kept screwing up. When one bed is imperfect, then they'd tear apart the entire room and have us do it again.
I did not sign up for this shit. Where is breakfast?
When I said that I wanted breakfast, I did not intend for mud to be my first course. They ran us shitless, made us jump until we were ready to drop. And when we dropped, they made us do push-ups. And when we had to do push-up's, it was at their pace. I was at least hoping that they'd be too fast for me to keep up, but instead they made us wait for each command. By the time my company was already done with the first three, we were quietly begging the instructors to pick it up. Their response, drag things even slower.
I swear I've seen dead snails move faster than this.
When we had finally finished our first set, they made us jog in place. You'd think that it wouldn't be that bad, but we had to do a shuffle-step rather than simply jog. And it was for about sixty seconds straight. Then they let us rest for ten before giving us another sixty to run.
When we had finished, all of us were extremely famished. Thankfully, our instructors knew that we had to keep our energy up in order for them to keep beating us to the ground. So we lined up in formation and followed Shining Armor as he casually led us though ten acres of land to the mess hall.
And by 'casually led to', I mean ran around the entire ten acres twice before finally setting foot into the mess hall.
I didn't think that the military was so strict. I guess I've should've done a lot more research on what goes on here rather than focusing on just the formation of the EUP. My legs were sore as Cleveland fans when Lebron left for Miami. My entire body is throbbing and all I can think about is how to fucking stand in line the right way. There's no such thing as talking in line during the first week, or 'zero week' as they call it. If I had to stand in line for two minutes to wait for one of the instructors to notify me that I could move.
When I finally took a step forward into the dining area, I was greeted by a sergeant screaming in my face.
"WHY ARE YOU FUCKING SLOUCHING!? STAND UP STRAIGHT!"
I've learned that in this system, no derogatory word or statement is forbidden to an instructor. As a recruit, you can only pay attention to what's directly in front of you. If not, well...
"ARE YOU EYEBALLING ME!? ADJUST YOURSELF, YOU SON OF A BITCH... YOU'RE STILL LOOKING THIS WA- GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MESS HALL! YOU WILL NOT BE EATING UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LISTEN TO MY DIRECTIONS! MOVE IT! SPEED IT UP!"
They were yelling at someone directly behind me.
"TRAYS UP, MOVE FASTER!"
Now they were addressing me. I picked up the tray full of greenery and made my way to the special dining area, designated to creatures such as griffons, who had a diet that consisted of both vegetable and meat dishes.
"YOU THERE!"
The female staffer behind the meat counter screamed at me.
"I DON'T RECALL YOU BEING A GRIFFON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS AREA!? SPEAK!"
"I need protein-"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME OR ARE YOU SPEAKING TO THE DUST COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE, PRIVATE!?"
"HUMAN'S CANNOT EXORCISE WITHOUT PROPER PROTEIN INTAKE, MA'AM!"
The mare from behind the counter instructed one of the other sergeants to inspect me. After they looked at me for a quick second, one of them instructed me to open my mouth. As I followed their instruction, they finally saw the four canine teeth that lined up on each side of my tongue. As one of the sergeants slammed my jaw back shut, I was guided forward.
"PICK UP A PLATE AND MOVE!"
I finally made it out of the line and walked towards the tables, where a familiar voice stopped me short of sitting down.
"PLACE YOUR BAGS UNDER THE CHAIR, HEELS TOGETHER AND EAT!"
I did as I was instructed. I felt myself clinch at the sound of a pony getting yelled at for not having their bags under their chair correctly. They were instructed to raise from their chair, put back on their bags and start all over.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT PRIVATE, EAT YOUR FOOD OR GET OUT OF THE AREA!"
I wasn't going to waste any time. I already had less than ten minutes to eat, followed by another two minutes to clear my area and leave back to the waiting area. Quickly, I dug my fork into my meal and started chomping away at my first taste of pork in months. I'd like to say that I enjoyed the experience, but the circumstances disallowed me that privilege. Meanwhile the sergeant next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"I was switched."
I stopped chewing whatever I was eating and tried my best to not look at the cyan pegasus standing next to me.
"DID I SAY STOP CHEWING!? YOU CHEW THAT FOOD RIGHT NOW! CHEW IT! AND DON'T YOU STOP UNTIL I SAY SO!"
I snapped back into shape and heeded her orders. While the others were still preoccupied with their own situation, Rainbow felt free to inform me of her sudden change of the roster.
"Originally, I was assigned to be the instructor for Delta company. But the day of my coming here, I was told that I was reassigned to Charlie Company. So you're in the right company, just not with the right instructor. Hang on a sec."
She removed herself from behind my ear to scream at another three recruit across the room.
"PICK! UP! YOUR! TRAYS! MOVE FASTER BEFORE I MAKE YOU RUN THIS ENTIRE BUILDING!"
Turning her attention back to me, she continued to whisper in my ear.
"I can say that the commander was more than willing to make his changes so that he could take care of you himself. Just try to hang in there. I can't really be nice to you. Protocols and what-not. Keep your head up no matter what."
I was contempt of the explanation, though thoroughly disturbed at the lengths that Shining went to make sure that my life was a living hell during my stay here. But that was the least of my worries right now. I started to feel my jaw ache from all of the excessive chewing for this one piece of sausage. At the moment, I felt the piece of meat become the consistency of baby food. I swallowed and reached in to continue my meal. Sergeant Rainbow Dash finally left my ear to yell at me some more.
"DO NOT RUSH CHEWING YOUR FOOD! DRINK YOUR WATER! WIPE YOUR MOUTH! I DID NOT COME HERE TO BABYSIT YOU! THAT IS YOUR MOTHER'S JOB!"
Once again, I think Rainbow is handling her new position quite well. I can only hope that I'd be able to hold out like she's doing now.
Week 3...
Okay, this was a hard ass three weeks. Not only was Shining Asshole being his usual self towards the others, he saw fit to give me some rather... special treatment. While I'm in ranks, standing at attention, he feels the need to pace back and forth in front of me. It even got so bad that he requests that I'd be placed in the very front of the platoon. His reason, I was a distraction to the other soldiers.
Bullshit aside, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. In my time off, I write letters to Twilight and Cadance telling them all about my current progress as well as how I'm treated. Cadance also informed me to keep her updated on how I was being treated. And being that I was being seen as some sort of villain. I know it doesn't make sense, but when you keep in consideration that Shining makes the entire company do push-ups for whenever I do something wrong, the others start to see you as a nuisance.
But to be fair, he did that with anyone. It just so happens that he singles me out the most.
What I would give to be in Charlie Company right now.
We came back from the late-evening drills to find that my bunk had been turned over. Not only was my mattress flipped but all of my clothes were strewn across the barracks. Even the contents of my bags were thrown across the room. I went to look for my bag, only to find it stuffed in the toilet. Thankfully, no one had used it prior or post by bag being stuffed inside. On the back of the bag, I had gotten a sticky note with only one word written on it.
Quit.
Something tells me that a certain someone really doesn't like me being here. Not that I already knew who it was.
"WHAT IN CELESTIA'S GOOD NAME IS THIS!?" I heard a voice erupt from the direction of the sleeping quarters.
I ran back out to see a disgruntled Shining Armor pacing back and forth as he looked at the mess all over the room. I already felt myself becoming angry as the seconds ticked away.
"WHO'S BUNK IS THIS!?" The entire company remained silent as he walked around the room. "TELL ME WHO'S BUNK THIS IS OR I SWEAR, I WILL MAKE THIS ENTIRE ROOM DROP FOR FIFTY!"
Fearing that my silence would punish the whole company, I spoke out. "Sir, it was mine."
Shining slowly turned towards me and marched in my direction. I could already see many of the other ponies in the room hold their hooves to their muzzles as a means of hiding their childish ooh's. As he stepped in front of me, he levitated some of the shirts, previously thrown about, into my face.
"SO I GIVE YOU A BED TO SLEEP IN AND CLOTHES TO WEAR, AND YOU REPAY ME BY DOING THIS!?"
Clenching my jaw, I tried my best not to look him in the eye, or giving my best left hook to his jaw. And given that I've been doing a lot of exercise for the past three weeks, I can knock a tooth or two loose. "No sir."
He picked up the clothes he threw at me and levitated them in front of my face. "Then what the fuck is this, private?" He asked with a scowl.
"Size three-x griffon training shirts, military standard issue, sir."
"So you don't appreciate what I give you, private?"
I didn't want to say no. The consequence of that choice would make things a lot harder for me. "...Yes sir."
"This is the way you show your appreciation, huh? Seems a little disrespectful to me." He said as he slammed the shirts back to the ground. "COMPANY, ATTENTION!"
Everyone in the barracks tensed up, jumping into positions as Shining paced back and forth in front of me. "IT SEEMS THAT PRIVATE NONDIS DOESN'T APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE TO GIVE HIM! SO, HOW ABOUT WE ALL TAKE A QUICK WALK AROUND THE CAMPUS!?"
A series of tired groans and frustrated smacks sound throughout the room.
"NO!? NOPONY WANT'S TO GO FOR A WALK!? OKAY, WE'LL RUN DOUBLES IN THE MORNING! FALL OUT!"
I become a little relieved that he didn't take out his ambitions on the others tonight, especially after they've suffered because of me all day. I started to walk towards my bed when suddenly...
"PRIVATE NONDIS! YOU DON'T THINK THAT YOU'D BE GOING TO BED THIS EARLY, DID YOU!?"
I already didn't like the sound of that statement.
I hate him so much.
I never thought that my hate for one could be so strong that I start to have revenge fantasies that involve me killing him in the most brutal ways possible. Instead, here I was, struggling to keep my head above water... if only I wasn't being continuously showered with it. One of the late-night watchers, a pegasi, brought in a rain cloud and kicked it, sending torrents of water on top of my head. Meanwhile, Shining Armor had me running in place while he chanted.
"MOMMA, MOMMA, CAN'T YOU SEE!"
"Momma, momma, can't you see!" I chanted weakly in verbatim.
"WHAT THESE GUARDS HAD DONE TO ME!"
"What these guards had done to me!"
"TOOK AWAY MY FAVORITE THINGS!"
"Took away my favorite things!"
"NOW I'M WEARING GUARDIAN GREENS!"
"Now I'm wearing guardian greens!"
"TOOK AWAY MY FAVORITE SHOES!"
"Took away my favorite shoes!"
"NOW I'M WEARING GUARDIAN BOOTS!"
"Now I'm wearing guardian boots!"
"YOU HAD ENOUGH PRIVATE!?" Shining screamed in my ear.
The only response I could give him was my constant huffing and puffing, followed by the eventual coughing from me accidentally breathing in some water.
"You know..." He finally lowered his voice to non-deafening levels. "You don't really have to do all of this. All you gotta do is say that you give up and we can go back right now. In the morning, you can sign your resignation papers and we can be on our way. Go on ahead, I'll even let you sleep late, feed you breakfast, offer you a drink and within the hour, you'd be on the train to Ponyville. I mean, it sounds better than three weeks of this, right?"
As much as my body was more than willing to take up his offer, my mind and my heart refused to let me move from the patch of mud I was currently marching in.
"Oh, still haven't made up your mind, huh? Drop!"
I fell to push-up position. As I stood there, I felt his hoof push into my back, causing me to become ever closer to the ground. Eventually, he stopped, but not before my face was but mere inches from planting itself into the mud.
"You don't have to keep doing this, Nondis. Just call it quits. C'mon. You know you want to. It's the third week, shit's not gonna get any easier."
My arms felt like wet pasta, my legs had the consistency of rubber bands. My body ached from all the activities from earlier today. I couldn't go on like this. I didn't want to go on like this. I never felt so much pain at once. I was tired beyond belief and here I was, late at night, doing push-ups in the mud. My body was telling me that it was far too much for me to go through in one given setting.
Finally, my body broke down. My limbs buckled and I fell limp into the mud. I took quick, labored breaths as Shining Armor stood over me.
"So I take it that you finally give up. Smart choice."
I didn't know what to do. I wanted to just call it quits. I really did. I wanted to admit to him that I didn't want to go through this anymore. I mean why should I suffer like this? Because of some stupid law? I don't have to do this anymore. I could just go back to bed, wake up in the morning, eat my breakfast, pack my shit and leave. The only honor I'd leave with is the honor of being in pain. I'd go back to Ponyville, my friends welcoming me back with smiles. I'd tell them that I tried my best, they give me a sympathetic pat on the back and I'd live my life...
I'd live my life without Twilight.
Without Twilight.
Twilight would be sad.
She'd never forgive me.
She cheered me on.
If she was here, she'd cheer me on right now.
That's right. I'd be hearing her scream at me.
"Get up." She'd say. "Don't you quit on me. Don't you quit on us. You can do this. Keep fighting. You're almost there."
Fuck... I'm really pathetic.
I had actually started to tell myself that this asshole would win. If I quit, then Shining Armor wins. Oh hell no! He ain't winning shit! I've been through too much as it is for him to come out with the win. I've gone too far now. I'm already three weeks in. If I can handle three weeks of him, then I can handle another three. If I can do that, then I can pull out another six after. Before then, I'd be a graduate of this academy, with another two weeks to spare. I don't have to do this shit, but I'm going to. I don't need to keep fighting, but I am.
I didn't need to move my arms and press my palms into the thick muddy ground below me, but I anchored myself back into place.
I didn't need to move my legs and raise myself off of the ground, but I placed my body back into the air.
I didn't need to endure the pain, but I screamed as I felt my weakness being left in the earth below me.
"You don't have to get back up." He said.
"Twilight..." I muttered to myself, cheering myself onward. "...is counting... on me..."
"Let's go, Nondis. I don't need you to keep me up all night. I have a bed waiting on me."
Screaming as I finally locked my body back into the front-leaning rest position, I hollered back to the stallion.
"THANK YOU FOR CONDITIONING MY MIND AND STRENGTHENING MY BODY, SIR! PERMISSION TO CONTINUE!"
"Denied." He answered flatly.
"PERMISSION TO CONTINUE!"
I couldn't see him thanks to the mud in my eyes, but I already knew that he was starting to get pissed. "Get off of the ground, you're not-"
"PERMISSION! TO! CONTINUE! SIR!"
"GET OFF MY GROUND!"
"FUCK YOU! I WANNA CONTINUE!"
"GET OUT OF MY CAMP!"
"I WON'T!"
"GIVE UP!"
"I WILL NOT!"
"DELTA WILL RUN TRIPLE FOR YOUR SORRY ASS!"
"I AM AN E.U.P. GUARD CADET! I SWEAR TO UPHOLD THE LAWS OF THIS LAND, COUNTRY, AND CORPS OF CADETS! I AM LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC! I AM THE FUTURE OF REALM OF EQUESTRIA! I WILL WORK HARD TO IMPROVE MY MIND AND ENHANCE MY BODY! I WILL SEEK TO THE MANTLE OF LEADERSHIP AND UPHOLD THE EQUESTRIAN WAY OF LIFE! I SWEAR MY FEALTY TO CELESTIA AND WILL LAY MY LIFE UPON THE ROCKS WHERE SHE STANDS! MAY I BE GRANTED THE STRENGTH TO ALWAYS LIVE BY THIS CREED!"
I felt a powerful force drive into my side, shoving me over into the ground. The rain water battered against my face, clearing the mud from my eyes as I finally saw the dark cloud above my head. I also saw Shining walking over me, looking me dead in the eye as he started to quake with anger. I could tell that he wanted to pound me six feet under this patch of mud, but for some odd reason I felt... unafraid.
Instead, I glared back at him coldly. Anger that bottled up inside of me willed me to stand against him. I panted heavily as he took angered breaths, snorting at me as we started to exchange the same icy glare with one another. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body, telling me that I was ready to fight. My human instinct to fight had awoken, only this time, I was ready to go for the kill.
Seconds passed as we stared back at each other. At that moment, I knew... I wanted to beat him. I would not lose. I would not give in to him. I would come out of this with the win. And in order to defeat him, I had to play his game and beat him at it. This was a challenge that any fool would take on any given day. But I'm not exactly known for making good decisions when I'm angry.
Challenge accepted.
Shining slowly crawled off of me, turning back to the cloud. A bolt of his magic dispersed the cloud and sent it packing to some unknown part of the world. As he walked away, I could see that he was soaked from head to tail from being where I was. Taking a moment to stop, he mumbled back to me.
"Report to your barracks."
Week 5...
It's been two weeks since the night Shining and I screamed at each other. Since then, he made sure to make my life a living hell. At least the hell back on earth had air conditioning, German potato salad, Bin Laden, Hitler, Napoleon, and Gene Simmons. This... this was as bad as the Twilight Saga staring Justin Beiber as Edward Cullen.
I shit you not.
Shining Armor decided to place me under a rigorous workout schedule. Though after the past five weeks, I started to do more working out than suffering. It was like he threw one thing at me and I started to shake it off. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. At the very least, I no longer had to catch a breath every three push-ups. I was starting to really get into shape.
My arms started to get used to all of the push-ups he'd normally give me. So in place of those, he'd give me even more crazy exercises, many of them were made with the equine body in mind. In my combat training, he would send at least three other cadets to take me down simultaneously.
I've started to learn how to fight as well. I am now able to duck, bob and weave, even learning counters against weapon-wielding foes. If Shining had made any mistake thus far, it was teaching me how to fight multiple equines at once.
Not only did I feel myself become increasingly stronger, I felt even more confident. The times where I used to dread going into the weight room to build muscle, I started to enjoy it. And even in time, I threw in some football exercises to strengthen my core and lower body, not to mention increase my agility. On my weekends, I'd run around the track, just to get myself in condition for the final test in five weeks.
I was self-motivated to beat Shining at his game. And little did he know that I was doing all I could physically to surpass his expectations. I was going to win.
But this week, he decided to add one more trick in his book to the list.
Delta Company had grown significantly smaller since the first week of camp. Some of the recruits had to leave for personal reasons, others for trying to fake a disease. The rest, which was a resounding majority, left because of all of the rigorous workouts Shining put the company through because of me and a few others. We had some trouble makers in the group that often made us pay dearly for it. And then we had trouble magnets, which I was a prominent example of such. Anytime Shining was in a bad mood or he just wanted to chew me out, he'd cause the rest of us to fall to the ground and push until we reach the sky.
But today marked the halfway point of training. And unfortunately, our company commander was unsatisfied by the amount that still refused to quit. So he lined us up at the front of the barracks and made us run around the entire campus about three times, gave us two hundred push-ups total and held us in the up position as he walked through the ranks, whispering to some of the other recruits. As for the rest of us, he just simply yelled as he'd normally do.
"WELL WELL... IT'S BEEN FIVE WEEKS! AND SOME OF YOU FUCKERS ARE STILL ON MY DIRT!"
Once again, he walked over to me. I have to admit that this was starting to get a little tiresome at this point.
"SOME OF YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN LEFT A LONG TIME AGO, YET YOU ARE STILL HERE! SO TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!? WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AND NOT ADMIT TO YOURSELF OF YOUR BIGGEST ONE YET!?"
He walked away from me, calmly pacing back and forth across the front of the formation. Lowering his tone, he tried his best to sound somewhat sympathetic.
"I know how it feels to make a huge mistake. I do. And I know how to admit to that mistake. You see, it takes some real balls to admit that you're wrong. And here's why, it shows that you are honest with yourself, the others around you, the ones who are beneath you, and the ones who are over you. You don't have to keep lying to yourself."
Looking out the corner of my eye, I could see Shining walking towards another one of the recruits who struggled to hold himself up. The recruit was fresh out of high school. He stopped just inches away from him as he spoke.
"You don't have to do this if you don't feel comfortable. The door is always open for you to come back, but only when you've matured. This is something that you don't need to do as of this moment right now. You can get out, learn from the world, and then you can come back and tell me your stories when you're back on my dirt."
The recruit Shining stood over was probably no older than seventeen or eighteen. The recruit finally reset himself, dusted himself off and walked away. A light smile showed on the company commander's lips. Taking his time to walk towards another struggling cadet, he gave another speech.
"You see? He admitted that he wasn't strong. And by admitting your weakness, you can become stronger in life. How, by learning from it. Not everypony is strong physically. Not everyone can fortify themselves mentally for what is to come."
This colt that he stood over this time was about nineteen. From my time here, I've learned that he was a college drop-out. Unfortunately, his parents made him enlist. He honestly didn't want to be here, but he didn't want to disappoint his parents.
"Not everypony can look at the dead body below your blood-splattered hooves. Nor can they cope with the failures and what consequences they will yield."
Finally succumbing to the pressure, he whimpered to Shining. "I just wanna go home!"
Shining did wear a smile this time. Instead, he had a rather condescending look on his face. As the recruit struggled to stand on his hooves, he sniffled and tried his best not to produce tears. Shining walked beside him and spoke into his ear. "Go on. You made it this far. You're strong in my book."
That was an obvious lie made to have the recruit feel better about himself. But I already knew that he was more than willing to toss the college drop-out on his ass from that moment forth. As the colt walked on, Shining addressed the entire company.
"There's..." Before he could even finish, another seven colts, spattered across the formation, rose from their positions and walked off silently. Shining started to smile again. "Well there's nine of you who decided that this life wasn't really for them. It's understandable. If I had to go through five weeks of this shit and I never got to see a mare, then yeah I'd be a little irritable too. Hell, I'm cranky now just from thinking about the things I could be doing with my wife."
He turned to me, causing me to turn my head back to the ground. Obviously, what I did was out of ranks.
"But instead, I'm here with you."
He started to walk towards me, chuckling all the while.
"You know... we all aren't built the same. We all aren't made to stand up to this kind of pressure. And I will tell you why. You see, there is a process called natural selection. It is where a creature learns to adapt to the environment they are in. And when they learn to adapt to that environment successfully, then they can find the others of that species. Then they can mate, reproduce, and then the cycle repeats itself."
He stopped mere inches away from my head. I could see the dirt-stained hooves of Shining Armor directly in front of me.
"Some of you were not made with that in mind. Especially you, private."
And he couldn't be any more wrong.
"So... wanna make it an even ten?"
Despite my struggling to stay up, I refused to move. And after a few seconds of my refusal to say anything, he grew frustrated and walked away.
"This is only the halfway point. Any chance of you leaving without consequence would be now. If you so choose to stay, then I will not be so lenient as I was for the past five weeks. You have another five weeks ahead of you. And in those five weeks, I would demand nothing but the best of discipline... COMPANY, RECOVER!"
The remaining members of the company rose to their hooves and stood as we were, covered in dirt and dust. Anyone caught trying to brush off would cause the entire company to drop back to the ground again. And none of us wanted to be in that position for another thirty seconds.
"FOR THE NEXT FIVE WEEKS, YOU WILL MASTER DISCIPLINE! YOU WILL MASTER THE ABILITY TO FOLLOW ORDERS! YOU WILL OBEY COMMANDS! AND YOU WILL NOT QUESTION THEM!"
As I stood in attention, I could already feel Shining looking at me.
"PRIVATE NONDIS, WHY IS IT THAT YOU FEEL AS IF YOU HAVE THE NEED TO STAND OUT!? WE ARE AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION! NOW GET THERE OR THIS WHOLE COMPANY WILL DROP!"
I didn't know what he was talking about. I know that my feet are at a perfect forty-five degree angle. My fists are lined up to the seem of my pants. My shoulders are square and my head is level. I stared directly into the void in front of me and nowhere else. While I was in thought, I failed to notice Shining Armor rapidly approaching me.
"DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION IS!?"
I was in the position... unless he means...
"PRIVATE, YOU ARE STILL STANDING OUT! GET ON YOUR KNEES!"
You... motherfucker!
"GET ON YOUR KNEES! NOW! THAT IS AN ORDER!"
I knew that in basic training, they'd do everything they could to break you out of your individuality, but this was just downright demeaning. Not wanting the platoon to suffer, I chose to follow his orders and fell on my knees. My fists trembled as I felt my fingernails digging deep into my palm.
"HANDS ON THE GROUND!
Reluctantly, I unwound my fists and planted my hands flat against the ground.
"GET YOUR HEAD UP! YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE GROUND!"
So help me. I swallowed whatever dignity I had left and rose my head in an uncomfortable position. Instead of standing as I normally would, I was reduced to nothing more than a dog, crawling on all fours like a beast.
"THAT IS THE POSITION OF ATTENTION I WISH TO SEE YOU IN FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! COMPANY, FALL OUT!"
While everyone else carried on to do whatever they had to do, Shining stopped me from moving as he whispered quietly in my ear.
"Feel like quitting yet? I could do this all day."
I took a deep breath. Not just a deep breath, but I had to literally prevent a thermonuclear reactor in my brain from going into meltdown. I wanted to wring my hands around Shining's neck and crush his trachea. I wanted to see him squirm for air as I watched the life in his eyes fade. I wanted to watch his pupils expand as he stopped struggling. I longed for him to die. Similar revenge fantasies played out in my head as I held my peace.
"Well then. You can stay there until I order you otherwise. And don't even think about talking." He said, walking off shortly after.
At this point, I began to wonder if any of my letters were getting through to Cadance. Because now, I had a lengthy one I was going to write to her for this. She would hear about this little stunt he pulled and I would have the last laugh.
Week 7...
Throughout weeks five and six, Shining Armor was trying his damndest to get me to quit. So instead of going for physical torture, he instead went for the one thing I had left, my identity. Being that I stood upright, made me an instant stand-out from the others. But now, he was making me stand out even more with the things he's done. Sometimes, he made me march in that embarrassing position he made me stand in, others he'd have me drill like that. But since the end of the sixth week, he allowed me to stand on my own two feet again.
For some odd reason, it seems that Shining hasn't been so hard on me this week. Instead of constantly capitalizing on opportunities to call me out, he ended up bypassing me and going for anyone else. I guess my letters to Cadance made it through.
I guess it's a good reason why he called me to his office to speak with him privately.
*knock knock knock*
"Come in."
I opened the door to see Shining Armor filing some paperwork. I guess those papers were resignation forms. I knew that he was still wanting me to quit, but I didn't think he'd be so causal about it.
"Who's reporting?" He asked.
"Sir, Private Nondis of Delta Company, First Squadron reporting."
"Oh good. I've been meaning to speak with you for a while now."
Despite my being in attention, I couldn't help but to roll my eyes. "Forgive me sir, I was kept busy."
"Close that door behind you." He stated as he sat behind his desk.
"Sir?"
"That was an order."
Something inside of me warned me that he was going to try and do God-knows-what to me. But I thought of it as a two way street. If he'd strike first, then I could call it self-defense and strike back. No one would know what really happened but the two of us. Granted there was a risk, but I was more than willing to take it. "Yes sir."
After I closed the door, I walked back the front of his desk. He removed himself from his seat. "Parade rest."
I assumed the position, crossing my palms behind my back and locking my thumbs together. My legs spread out shoulder-width. And being that he called me to parade rest, he wanted this conversation to be off the record.
"You know... I just don't quite get you. You know I'm making life as hard as I possibly can for you right now. You know that I'm giving you hell. You know I'm making your entire platoon suffer because of you. Yet... you still..."
He veered off, walking towards a cabinet on the other side of the room. I heard a glass clanking and the pouring of a drink. I smelled the familiar fermented odor of alcohol breezing past my nose.
"You don't mind if I drink, do you?"
I paid him no attention. "No sir."
"Good."
After a few seconds of silence, I heard the glass hit the desk as he gave out a raspy sigh. "Burns all the way down. Love this stuff."
Again, I rolled my eyes at his antics.
"Now... with all of my previous attempts to make you quit, I've finally see that I'm probably going about it the wrong way. So I'm going to be civil in my approach. Let's be gentlecolts. And as such I have but one request: I... need you... to resign."
"Permission to speak, sir?"
"Denied." He instantly shot me down. "Now, here is my deal, my offer on the table. If you resign from this camp, I will not pursue you any further. We can even... become acquaintances. I don't mind taking the time to make up for my past mistakes. I just want you to leave this office and never set foot in this camp again."
I remained silent.
"Not convinced? Okay, I can see that. Tell you what, I'll allow you to gain special privileges, you know, purging any marks on your record, if you get into some trouble, I can get you off on a clean slate. You'll be scot-free. You can stay here in Equestria and be it's most care-free citizen."
"Sir, isn't that illegal?" I inquired.
"That's the thing. To sweeten up the deal, any crime you'd commit would be placed on my record. How's that sound?"
To place any wrongdoings of my and attach it to his name. It sounds extremely selfless but there was no way I was going to follow up on his offer. "Sir, that sounds like a pretty enticing deal-"
Before I could finish, he interrupted me. "Great, so let me get those papers for-"
"But I will have to decline." I finally finished through his statement.
A period of silence ensued, followed by a hearty chuckle. "Wow, cracking jokes right off the bat, huh?"
I neither joked or cracked a smile.
"I see. So you're not quitting?"
"No sir. I won't. I've come this far, I'm not gonna quit."
Shining squinted as he walked towards me, whispering in my ear. "So, if I should so happen to issue that command to you as an order, you'd have to follow it, right?"
"Sir, with all due respect, I have followed all of the orders you have given me. And even now, I follow them. However, that is the first order I will choose to disobey."
"And why is that? Why? Just... tell me why?"
"Because the princess has issued me an order to come back as a graduate of this academy, sir. And if there was anything I was told by you, it was to never disobey the orders of those of a higher authority."
Shining seemed to be confused by my statement. "Yet, you disobey me?"
"Because of an order that was issued to me prior of my coming here. Two princesses gave me orders. One instructed me to make graduation. The other instructed me to not quit, no matter what."
Shining leaned away from me, pursing his lips as he took a moment to think. "They don't have rank, kid."
"Then why do you follow their orders, sir?" I rebutted, making him a bit flustered at my response.
"Are you talking back to me?"
"No sir, I'm informing you of the orders that I was given prior to my arrival." I stated before moving myself to attention.
"Stay there." He commanded, holding out his hoof.
I returned back to parade rest, still waiting for this conversation to end.
"Perhaps I should explain myself... and what I can do."
Shining walked over to his desk, opened one of the drawers and pulled out a manilla envelope. Unwinding the string that sealed it closed, he then tilted the envelope upside down, spilling the contents onto the desk. A seed of horror began to manifest within my body as I recognized the contents of that envelope were nothing more than the letters I attempted to ship out to Cadance and Twilight. I felt my heart jump inside of my throat while my jaw instinctively dropped.
"You tried to ship these out to Cadance and my little sister."
I tried my best to remain calm. "I was asked to give them updates on my progress."
"That's not what I read. They're more like complaints. Complaints set against me."
I couldn't say anything. I was caught. Throwing the manilla envelope onto the table, he slowly wandered back to me.
"Perhaps I should explain to you why I don't like you being around my sister. And maybe I need to go into detail. So feel free to ask. Ask me 'Captain, why do you dislike me so?' I give you permission to speak."
Finally given a chance to get some answers, I took the opportunity for what it was. "Why do you want me dead, Captain?"
"See? I never said that. I said that I dislike you."
My mind wandered back to the day where he and I got into our first confrontation. It was shortly after he caught me and Twilight in the bed together. "But you choked me."
"Oh yeah, there was that. But I didn't kill you. Would you like to know why?"
I could recall the familiar sounds of Twilight screaming at him to stop as my world started to go dark. "Because Twilight requested it?"
"No. I wanted to intimidate you. And honestly, Twily has seen me do much worse than me doing that to you. But in reality, if I wanted to kill you, I would've done it in front of her. I'm a family stallion, but a soldier first when it comes to those who threaten the livelihood of those I love and cherish."
Where did that come from? "You lost me, sir."
"I have a story to tell you. It would help explain my discomfort of you being around my little sister."
He walked over to the window just behind his chair at the desk. Pulling down one of the blinds, he looked outside and watched as the other cadets ran by.
"Once upon a time, like two years ago, there was a guard and his princess. You can already guess who those two would be. Continuing, there was a wedding for the guard and the princess. But the princess was kidnapped and replaced by an impostor, one who had the ability to shape-shift into any being she desired. Not only did she have that ability, but she could feed on the love of others. And you know how love can tie into one's life-force. So this impostor had fooled the guard and the other princesses, ultimately turning even his beloved little sibling against him, or the other way around should I say. So with all of that going on, the impostor then sent the younger sibling to the caves to face off against the so-called evil princess."
He closed the blinds, pausing for a moment to reflect. "What happened next, sir?" I asked, curious as to how the story ended.
"A lot actually. The real princess confronted the impostor as she was about to marry the guard in her place. Said impostor revealed herself to be a queen of another race, who just so happened to threaten the entire city of Canterlot. Her minions soon invaded with her reveal and sacked the entire city in the matter of an hour, killing dozens of guards and even more civilians. It was known as the EUP's largest security failure to date. Why you ask, because even Celestia herself was defeated in battle. But that failure didn't last for long. The queen's arrogance caused her to fail at the very end, when she had everything in her grasp. To sum it up, Cadance and I have had to attend numerous funerals to apologize to the families that lost their loved ones, right after our wedding."
So he's a racist with a motive. Not surprising. "So you don't trust me because of what they did to you and Cadance?"
"I didn't say that. But it causes me to become uneasy when I have to see my little sister with something or someone that could take advantage of her and eventually become her undoing. Now this... this is where this whole conversation comes together."
He sat back down at his desk, tapping his hoof against the wood as he stared at me with the intensity of the sun in the sky.
"When you and Twily were in the room, doing what you were doing that other day, I could already see the long list of consequences that my little sister would've endured. For starters, she would've lost her crown, that's one. Two, she would also have to surrender her wings, which I can guarantee that the process wouldn't be painless. Three, and here's the big one. Four years, four, of my little sister going through hell and high water alongside her friends, saving Equestria countless times, her adventures, her accomplishments, the nine years she spent as Celestia's personal student, her studies... All of her prestige, wiped away. Just because she wanted to have her way with you."
Suddenly, his distaste for me had some sort of merit. Despite his antics being out of order, as they were done for the sole purpose of making me quit, he did it because I was a threat to his sister's livelihood. Everything she did up to this point would've been for nothing if I had just so much as give my waist a push upward that day. It was a little heavy to think about. "I didn't think of all of that."
"I know. But I did. Every single day, every time I see you, every time she's with you, every time she mentions you. Every time, I see my little sister enduring what could be her worst fear. I see you, then I'd see how she would try to wear this smile for you, when deep down inside, she knows that the life she had worked so hard to build... fall apart in front of her very eyes."
That would be a Twilight that would've resembled Pinkie Pie at that point. I don't think my heart would be able to take something like that.
"Now, say if something had happened to the two of you after that. You'd leave her. Then what does she have left? What's her future? Who will accept her, the princess that fell from grace because of scandal? That is why I was so passionate to break you two off, why I'm still trying to do that now. That is why I despise you."
I see why he was so adamant on making me quit. If I quit, then he wouldn't have to worry about me breaking Twilight's heart, or destroying everything she worked hard to accomplish. But despite all of that, she still risked it to have me. And I traded my mundane life away just to be with her. Both she and I have come too far to call it quits. The truth of the matter is that I really do adore her... Too much.
"What if I promise not to leave her?"
Shining became bewildered at my question, almost seeming offended that I would still pursue her. "Why would you stay with someone not of your own?"
Because I don't want anyone else. "Sir, are you fucking nuts?"
"Then what do you propose, private?"
"A gentleman's wager, or gentlecolt as you pony-folk would say."
"What's the wager?"
I am really doing this. "If I fail the final examination in three weeks, I will resign from the camp."
"I like the sound of that-"
"But, if I pass, you give me your vote of approval, regardless of your personal desire. That means if you don't like me and Twilight being together, then you can deal with it."
Shining grimaced at my bet, but being that it was one of such high stakes, he couldn't refuse if one of the outcomes would be in his favor. "You're on my dirt, you little fuck. You'll resign, either at the end of these next three weeks or within them."
Snapping myself back at attention to give him a farewell salute, I spoke in confidence. "Captain, I look forward to marrying your little sister."
"Get out of my office." He said angrily, magically opening the door so that I could take my leave.
I walked out of his door way and turned to leave, but stopped myself short of leaving his view. I tapped on the doorway twice as I pointed to him and winked. "Later bro."
As I walked away, I could hear the door slam behind me and Shining Armor scream loudly.
These next three weeks will be fun.
Week 10...
Ho-lee-fuck! I made it all the way through. If I could go back in time and tell myself that I'd make it through ten weeks of grueling punishment and physical labor to enlist in the service, I would've told me to kill myself for lying.
But alas, we come to the final stretch of the race. And this one was the one to make or break you. I was nervous, but excited at the same time. But it wasn't just me who was feeling the pressure. Many of my company members, hell the entire class that came from all over Equestria, were nervous about it. Even the stallion next to me questioned himself.
"You think I could make it?"
"Dude, you own this. Me on the other hand, I'm not so sure." I answered, trying to make him feel better.
"Sure your species can't run as fast as us, but you can sure outmaneuver us. You turn faster than us, you can use those hands of yours to counter a lot of blows quicker than hooves can."
But they still had another thing that I didn't, including earth ponies. "But what about magic?"
"Magic-smagic, your sword skills are more precise than most of us in this company. And judging from all of the push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, runs up hill-"
"We all did that shit! Nobody's different!"
"Um... Have you seen yourself since you came here? You've really stocked up!"
You know, throughout my time here, I never really gave myself the chance to look in the mirror and take in all of the changes my body had went through. "Really? I thought I was the main one that the platoon had to wait for whenever we ran around the campus."
"You don't run like us. You know, four hooves versus two... um... feet?" He asked, seeming a bit unsure as to what to call my lower extremities.
"Yeah, you got it there. But I'm just doing what I need to do to make it."
"You've trained yourself more than anypony else out here. I'd be surprised if you didn't pass."
"That's only because Captain Armor decides to pull me to the side and make me do all of this unnecessary shit."
The stallion chuckled, patting me on the back. "Well all of that 'unnecessary' exercise made you into a pretty scary beast. And you eat meat too! Remind me not to piss you off when you're hungry."
"I'm not gonna eat you, if that's what you're implyi-"
"COMPANY ATTENTION!"
The two of us stopped our idle chit-chat to pay attention to our company commander, who was donning his purple and gold armor.
"WHEN WE MARCH OUT TO THAT FIELD, YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE! I EXPECT NOTHING BUT SUCCESS FROM MANY OF YOU! WHEN WE LEAVE THAT FIELD, MOST OF YOU WILL BE SET TO STAND IN FRONT OF PRINCESS CELESTIA HERSELF AS SHE PROVIDES YOU WITH YOUR CERTIFICATE!"
He cut a glance back at me. "A SELECT FEW OF YOU WILL FAIL, AND THE MANY OF THAT LOT WILL FIND IT SUITABLE TO TAKE THEIR LEAVE! WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK FOR THAT GROUP, PRIVATE NONDIS!"
"SIR, I HAVE BUT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU SIR!"
"AND WHAT'S THAT, PRIVATE!?"
In the words of our esteemed company commander. "NATURAL SELECTION, SIR! IT IS THE PROCESS WHERE ANY ORGANISM LEARN TO SUCCESSFULLY ADAPT TO THEIR ENVIRONMENT, SURVIVING WHATEVER IS THROWN AT THEM, FURTHERMORE GIVING THAT SPECIES THE ABILITY TO REPRODUCE AND POPULATE THE ECOSYSTEM!"
"THIS ISN'T A BIOLOGY CLASS, PRIVATE!"
Many of the others laughed at his response to my statement. "NO SIR, IT ISN'T! BUT WE HAVE ALL SURVIVED TO THIS POINT, WE ALL CHOSE TO ADAPT, AND WE ALL WILL SURVIVE THIS TEST, NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY HAVE TO SAY! AND FURTHERMORE..." I licked my lips and sucked the air through my teeth. "Humans are top of the food chain, sir!"
A lot of the cadets oohed and giggled quietly as I called him out on his statement. Needless to say that Shining Armor was not too amused.
"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE TO ME, PRIVATE! SINCE YOU SEEM SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES, WE SHALL SEE IF YOU CAN PUT YOUR BITS WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!"
I'll put your sister where my mouth is.
"THAT'S ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT! COMPANY, MOVE OUT!"
After our short little tour to the field, I saw a group of other company commanders sitting in the bleachers alongside their sergeants. One of the sergeants I managed to recognize right off the bat. It was hard to not notice the six different colors in her mane as she and some of the others proceeded to place their bets on who would pass or fail. I wondered who she was betting on aside from me.
"Private Nondis, you're up."
Wow that was quick. Seeing that there were no others from my company to go before me, I had come to the conclusion that I was going first. I felt my heart pounding as I awaited my spotter, a recruit who was in their ninth week or so.
I felt as if I was some sort of character in one of those military movies who manages to pull out a win at the end of the story. They'd have the entire platoon crowding around them, celebrating their big victory. But then it had me thinking. Don't the main guy of the plot they usually bet against goes last?
"SIR, PRIVATE NONDIS REPORTING FOR INSTRUCTION, SIR!"
A loudspeaker rang from the observation deck. "Congratulations for making it this far cadet, report to the position of parade rest so that we may begin with your first set of instructions."
I assumed my position as my spotter stood in front of me, looking towards the observation deck for a signal of some sort. As soon as he turned to me, I knew what time it was.
"PRIVATE, ATTENTION!"
My heels clopped together as I snapped straight up.
"LEFT FACE!"
I turned myself, pivoting on my left foot as my right slid me into position. Afterwards, I brought my heels back together.
"RIGHT FACE!"
I pivoted on my right foot this time as my left slid me into position. Finishing the move, I was facing my spotter again.
"ABOUT FACE!"
My right foot kicked back becoming my pivot point, turning me right-way until I was facing the opposite direction. My feet were back in a forty-five degree angle.
"PARADE REST!"
I assumed the position, spreading my legs and placing my hands behind my back.
"PRESENT ARMS!"
I did not move. Moving from parade rest to salute your instructor was considered as an invalid move. So I waited until the command was reset.
"As you were! ATTENTION!"
I snapped back into place. Here comes the fun part.
"LEFT FACE, RIGHT FACE, LEFT FACE, LEFT FACE, ABOUT FACE, PRESENT ARMS, ORDER ARMS, ORDER ARMS, LEFT FACE!"
I turned to my left, then to my right, then to my left twice, turned around to face my spotter, salute him, retract the salute and halted all movement from that point on.
Fucker thought he could trip me up.
"As you were. RIGHT FACE!"
Turning to my right, looking at an obstacle course in the middle of the field, I awaited further instruction.
"FORWARD MARCH!"
As I marched forward, I called out my own cadence. "LEFT, LEFT, LEFT-RIGHT, RIGHT-LEFT!"
"MARK-TIME MARCH!"
I stood still marching in place as I continued to call out my cadence.
"PRIVATE, HALT!"
I stopped marching on my left as soon as he gave the order. In front of me was an obstacle course that awaited me. Though most of it was catered to the equine body, I still had the ability to conquer it. But that didn't stop me from sweating bullets as I waited for the command to be given to me.
"YOUR OBJECTIVE IS TO COMPLETE THE COURSE WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME! YOU HAVE A TIME OF EIGHT MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS TO COMPLETE THIS COURSE! DO NOT LEAVE THE STARTING AREA UNTIL GIVEN THE SIGNAL TO ADVANCE!"
All I could hear is the wind gently blowing by my ears. For the moment, I allowed myself to have peace. I thought about how far I had come since my coming to camp, even from the first day I set foot in Equestria somehow. I had went through so much since my time here. But I realized that even though life may find humor in knocking you down, you get back up and you keep fighting. Just like I had to fight even now.
"MOVE!"
My feet launched me into a sprint, running across the field and into the first set of obstacles. I had to carefully plant my feet into the barrel rings, similar to what football players would do to truck tires. Breaking through that obstacle, I had to climb a rope and reach the platform where the net above the mud pit lied. Crossing the way, I jumped to the other side and jumped off, tucking myself in as I landed. Running, I had to catch the rope and swing over a mud pit. Crossing that, I then ran for several more yards to run into a log climb. Hurriedly, I worked myself to the top of the awkward ladder and jumped over the top. Running for quite some time, I finally ran into the crawl pit, where I had to use my knees and elbows go trek through ten yards of mud under a net made of barbed wire. Breaking through, I ran for a few more yards.
I started to feel the fatigue from running the course take it's toll as I eyed my next objective.
My next obstacle was a large log I had to run up and down while trying to balance myself as I crossed. As soon as I took a step on the log, my foot slipped, causing me to stumble. I didn't have time to worry about it. I tried a second time and ran across it with little incident. Afterwards, I had to skip from one log to the other, which were spaced apart by a yard and a half each. After doing this several times, I had to run for the next part of the course. My final obstacle was running though a door and climbing over a wall. After passing through all of that, I had to sprint for the finish line.
My chest was on the verge of exploding from the relentless work I had to pull through. I kept cheering myself to finish strong. I couldn't give up now, not when I was so close to finishing. Seeing the finish line made me want to give it my best. Taking a solid breath, I strove forward, running and running until I had finally reached the finish line.
As soon as my body broke the plane, I felt myself crumble to the ground. I panted and breathed, clutching my chest as I awaited my time.
"PRIVATE NONDIS, THE TIME GIVEN WAS EIGHT MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS! YOUR TIME: EIGHT MINUTES, FORTY-TWO SECONDS!"
No... fucking... way... I failed?
Shining left from his seat to meet up with me. I didn't even want to see him at this moment. I could barely move from the weight of what all had transpired. I couldn't have failed. Not like this, not when I've worked so hard. Suddenly, something caught my spotter by surprise as he walked off to speak with another stallion who approached the timing table. While I was too busy letting defeat crush me, I could hear the voices of the others.
"Corporal?" My spotter asked.
"This just came in from the observation deck." The other stallion said. From the sound of it, it seemed like they pulled out a sheet of paper. After a bit of silence, I heard a quiet gasp.
"You mean the human had a time handicap, sir?" I heard the spotter whisper, causing me to raise my head up in surprise.
"From what I was told, it was because of his having two legs rather than four."
I saw Shining Armor turn his attention away from me and to the two other stallions. "What's going on?"
"Captain, this came in from OD." The spotter handed him the sheet of paper.
As Shining read on, he began to laugh lightly. Balling up the paper and throwing it at the ground, he screamed at the other two stallions. "ELEVEN MINUTES AND TEN SECONDS!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?"
I felt life in me again. I watched as Shining Armor threw a complete temper tantrum as the corporal continued to explain. "It came from the observation booth, sir. That means that this is from Celestia herself. We can't go over that!"
"My time is specifically eight-thirty. It stays that way unless Princess Celestia verbally says otherwise."
The corporal dismissed the spotter and asked him to wait for the next recruit. Meanwhile, he whispered to the disgruntled captain. "Then I suppose a private audience with her royal majesty would be a more suitable place of discussion, captain?"
Kicking the balled-up sheet of paper, he grumbled as he stormed off the field, swearing and curing out anyone who dared approached him. Finally he turned back to the corporal and spoke in a low tone. "Make it official."
I wanted to kick up so much dirt right now. I just wanna run up to him and scream a large 'fuck you' his face. I don't even care right now! I FUCK-ING WON!
The corporal made the announcement on the loudspeaker shortly after making his way up to the observation deck. "PRIVATE NONDIS, YOUR TIME WAS EIGHT MINUTES AND FORTY-TWO SECONDS! THE ALLOTTED TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR SPECIES HAS BEEN CALCULATED TO BE AT ELEVEN MINUTES AND TEN SECONDS! FINAL RESULT OF PHYSICAL EXAMINATION: PASS!"
Graduation Ceremony
It wasn't exactly a beautiful day, it was partially cloudy outside and the sun tended to show itself from time to time. But we didn't have to worry about the weather too much being that we were all inside of a large gymnasium. Many of the graduates still waited for their company to be called while mine lined up at the side of the stage. As I stood in line, I took the time to reflect on all of the things that I've done in my time of being here. At this very moment, I was a royal guard. It still feels a bit unusual to call myself that. I just can't believe that I'm actually a guard. It's just so surreal.
I could see nothing but the stage in front of me. Cadance was the one announcing the names while Celestia was the one to pass out certificates. Twilight stood next to her, eagerly jumping up and down as she waited for my name to be called. Luna, from what I heard, was still in Zebrabwe finishing up business. Shining Armor was nowhere to be found.
"Private First Class, Nondis P. Haines!"
As my name was called, I rose to the top of the stage, walking across as the first human to graduate into the Earth-pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, Guard of Equestria. Taking my certificate from Celestia, she whispered to me her congratulations. Fellow guardsponies stood up to applaud as I crossed the stage. Just when I was about to walk off, Twilight stopped me dead in my tracks, pushing me towards the podium. Cadance, giggled a bit at my flustered expression.
"As our first human to stand on this stage and provide your services towards the betterment of this country, please share with us your your insightful remarks."
"Yeah, we want a speech, rookie!" I heard Rainbow Dash scream from all the way across the gym.
Twilight gave me another push towards the microphone, while Cadance wore a gigantic smile. Somehow, was nervous, but then again I was standing in front of hundreds of graduates who offered to lay their life on the line as I have.
"Um... hi." I said nervously as the mics started to feedback, screeching and whistling as the pony in the sound booth tried to level me off. "Is this thing working?" I asked into the mic, gaining a few chuckles from the audience. At least I felt a little more comfortable now.
"Fillies and gentlecolts... I never though I would say that..." Once again, I got a few laughs, including a few chortles from the three princesses behind me. Twilight nodded her head as Cadance waved me onward. "I can truly say that this is an honor. It is an opportunity that I never thought I would be able to..." I struggled to find the words to accurately state what I was feeling. "I can't even put it in words. To be a citizen of Equestria. To physically be able to stand in this very spot and say that I am proud to be an Equestrian guard, is a humbling experience. Though I'd say that I am not the first to be different. I drink from a well that I did not even dig. Many other pioneers, who were the first to be what they were, came long before I did. And to consider myself as one of those pioneers, I can say that I am truly gifted."
I couldn't see the rainbow maned pegasus in the back, but I knew that she was there. I glanced back to Twilight, who was shedding a few tears. Cadance had started to shed some tears of her own. I turned back to the audience, knowing what the next part of my speech would be.
"To all of those who encouraged me, thank you for pushing me forward. To those who ridiculed me, thank you for criticism, as it has helped me come a long way. To those who sought my failure, thank you for motivating me to succeed. I couldn't have done this without you." I turned back around to Twilight. "And I mean that from the bottom of my heart."
Applause erupted throughout the gym as I started to walk away from the podium. But before I could, the purple princess tackle-hugged me before I could even respond. The only difference from before and now was that I didn't even budge when she ran into me. Instead I spun her around as she locked on to me, hugging me tightly. I knew that this small display was going to delay the program, so I offered to speak to her after... But she had other plans.
The crowd screamed and hollered as she flew up to me, clasping my head in place as she planted her lips against mine. Celestia blushed as she scrunched her muzzle in surprise. I didn't initially think of returning the kiss, as it caught me completely off my guard. But after a few seconds, I felt myself let go of the world and return unto her the gift she gave me at that moment. Breaking off our short engagement, we stared back at each other as she gently booped me in the nose. Cadance, with a devious expression, spoke into the mic.
"Fillies and gentlecolts, the soon-to-be married, Private First Class Nondis and Princess Twilight Sparkle."
Both she and I turned into ripened tomatoes at the sudden disclosure of our status while the crowd cheered us on.
After the ceremony, I was given my check. Not too long after that, I packed my belongings and exchanged a few words with the others. They all had a laugh when they found out the real reason why Shining Armor was being such a dick to me. As of now, there were only three of us left in the barracks.
"So... You're going to be with the captain's younger sister?" A stallion named Silver Dart asked.
I smiled as I nodded. "Well... yeah."
The other stallion, named Spade, bowed to me mockingly. "Sir, I congratulate you on your... spectacular catch. Most of the boys envy you now."
Cadance alongside Twilight walked into the room as we all exchanged a few laughs. Twilight ran up behind me and hugged me once more as Cadance levitated one of the bags from me. "Are you ready to go?" The pink princess asked.
"I've been ready to go as of ten weeks ago!" I answered back, earning a few sympathetic nods and groans, followed by a few more laughs.
"Hey... in speaking of which, where's the captain?" Silver Dart asked.
Cadance sighed heavily. "Princess Celestia had sentenced him to latrine duty."
"What!?" The three of us sounded out in unison.
"For a month." Twilight added.
"Ooh... that can't be good." Spade muttered.
"Yeah... and to top it all off, he's going to be stationed in Canterlot for the time being." Cadance finished.
Thinking about it, I didn't really see what could be so difficult about cleaning up the bathroom for a month. "That doesn't seem so bad."
"On paper, no. But Princess Celestia gave him a toothbrush and told him that it was his main tool used to clean all of the toilets in the castle. And she doesn't want a single speck of anything around, on, or in them." Twilight explained further.
"That still doesn't seem too bad."
Cadance shuddered as she spoke. "Shining's wearing a restrictive device on his horn, so he's cleaning them using his hooves... and... ugh..."
She let my imagination wander for a bit. Unfortunately, my imagination was a little too graphic. I saw Shining Armor brushing off a toilet using his teeth. I didn't even wanna think about what would happen then if he had to clean up somebody else's... Instinctively, I bit a finger while cringing. "Uuugh-"
Cadance nodded. "Eeeyeah! That."
Meanwhile in Canterlot...
Shining Armor sighed in relief as he stared proudly at his work. All of the toilets of the bathroom sparkled and glistened as if they were just bought from the store. Though he didn't like that he was still cleaning toilets, but he did enjoy the aftermath of seeing a clean space.
"S'cuse me sonny-boy! I can't let this one wait!"
A heavy-set, light-blue unicorn-stallion ran into one of the stalls as Shining looked on with horror of what was to come.
"NO! I JUST CLEANED THAT!"
Shining heard the slamming of the seat. Secretly, he wished that the stallion had some sort of condition where he had to urinate while sitting down. The first sound he heard was one of stream of liquid followed by another sound that was most... unflattering. A trombone producing pedal-tones sounded out as if it was being played in between two gigantic, wet slabs of meat. That was soon followed by the sounds of solid objects sploshing into the water.
Shining dreaded the mess the stallion was going to create. "Oh no."
"Oooohboy! Have ya tried any of those chili cheese hayfries with the extra jalapeños? Things are to die for."
Shining held his head in shame as he tried to ignore the brown onslaught going on in the stall he just cleaned. "Why me?"
"You'll be alright laddie! You know what I told the last guy? Here's what I said-" As the stallion attempted to flush the toilet, he found that the water started to backflow out of the bowl and onto the floor. "Um... Laddie, by any chance you might have a plunger?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"
Next Chapter: Chapter XVII Estimated time remaining: 139 Hours, 9 Minutes Return to Story Description