I sat in my living room, reading a war story. A tale of men and ponies, fighting arm in arm, inch by inch in a world war one scenario. It was fascinating how violent ponies' thoughts were. For all their love an tolerance, they could really come up with some violent scenes.

"Right...oi," Cosmic's voice drew me from my book. I lowered my book and found her riding upon Dust's back. "Pick me up."

I rolled my eyes, plucking her from her harness and setting her down on the arm of my couch. Dust wandered off, heading down the hall and towards her room. "Okay...what's up?" I asked, closing up my book and looked at her.

She grew a bit flustered, "Nothing yet.... But...I guess before I start, this your last chance. You get your nob out...I promise I'll be gentle. Ya make me wait...boy...you're gonna get rode hard." She smiled deviously, "So...ya gonna get it out?"

I shook my head and picked up my book again, "Man...you know I thought. Maybe, maybe if she didn't ask, I'd set up a date or something. She's nice enough when she's not being fucking crazy...but no, you fuckin plop down next to me and just start spewing crap." I opened up my book, "Why do you never just say nice things to me?"

Cosmic started slowly growing red, "Look...you want me ta' say good things, ya gotta give me a reason. And stickin' your little dangle in my need-y, parts is a good pla-ce, to start." She let out a short, heated huff, "Point is...ya give me a tumble...I promise I'll be your mare.... It's been so damn long...I'm- tired...a' bein' a head.... I want- ta' be- a mare...too."

I looked at her reddened face from beyond my book. "That's the sweetest thing you've said, and that's really sad."

Cosmic let out a breathy grunt, "I'm- a damn- bucking- soldier- I'm not a bucking romantic!" She screamed, ears flopping back and mouth contorting into a tooth grinding grimace. "Buck my ass...it's so bucking thick...."

I set my book down and watched as her mouth popped open, saliva coating her teeth and stringing from her lips, "...Are you--"

She closed her mouth, licking her lips and letting out a submissive moan, "It's been- so long...."

I rubbed my mouth, my body started to grow hard without my permission. "...So you're fucking yourself."

She looked adorable, her usual spiteful look replaced by a submissive assembly. Her ears folded back, mouth popped open in a hurt manner, her eyes closed, moaning gently as Dust abused her body in the other room. "Pony...it's a pony.... It's so...bucking...thick."

I grew unforunatly excited as she lolled her tongue out and rolled her eyes back. "...So you think this--"

"Wait--" she looked pained for a moment before smiling dumbly, "She's switching...." She bit her lip, smiling like a fool before popping her tongue out, "Ahh..so...that's what I'm looking forward to..." she purred, pointing the tips of her ears to the side and give me a dumb smile, closed eyes, and a constant low hum. "I can see- why a mare- would like this."

She let out a choppy husky laugh. "It's...hotter...not as thick--" she clenched up, her eyes popping open ever so slightly. Her face fell to a tired smile, "Buck me...my--" she stopped again, laughing like a fool, "It's all thick and creamy...."

"...You know...it's still masturbation if a dildo cums inside."

Cosmic just laughed gluttonously, "I don't care...and...I've got a hole...right here." She ran her tongue along her maw, "Feel free...to turn this...into sex."

I just glared at her, "Why!? What do I get out of this?!"

Cosmic retained her dumb look, eyes rolling backwards as she apparently rode her human dildo. "Sex...maybe love.... But definitely sex." She stopped her smile, tongue lolling out and eye rolling way back, "Buck- buck--" she let out a shirll scream and promptly bit her tongue, returning to her smile, "Dear Celestia...I'm bloody stuffed..."

"Are you--"

"There's a pony in my ass...a human in my cunt...and cum in my belly...." she just started snickering, "I feel...amazing."

I felt my face heat up, "Why...why are you doing this?"

She started breathing heavily, smile fading to a needy glare, "Because- I like you- and I don't- really know- how else- to explain it." She locked up, shivering hard for a moment before squeaking like a dog toy, "There it goes again.... I bloody missed that feeling."

I grew amazingly flustered, "Alright...so if I do this- if we...hook up, I set down some ground rules."

She just started laughing, "I knew I'd win...I love winning...I--" she had another, eyes unfocusing for a moment, "Bloody buck...I'm getting lightheaded."

"Hey...you listening?"

"Yeah...yeah...I'm...as best I can. Everything's kinda...fuzzy."

I shook my head, "I only got one rule. Be nice to me."

"Ya gonna stuff my mouth if I am?"

I puffed out my cheeks, "...You are just the most romantic being alive."

"Bitch...I have...good sex, and always get the cock I want. I don't need romance. I'm Cosmic bucking Dust." She snapped, falling off the arm of the couch and into my lap, "See! Bloody landed on it!"

I picked her up, holding her mid orgasm face level with my own, "This is creepy...."

Her tongue was hanging out, her body being violently rutted and here I was holding the most expressive part of her body, "Oi...come on...I'm gonna bloody pass out at this rate!"

"Ask nicely."

"You--" Cosmic shuddered once again, "Please...please fuc--"

"Nope...."

She glared at me, her bright red face expressing pure and utter rage, "Please--"

I set her down, "You want to have someone to come back to? Someone to share with, to lay with, ask me. Nicely."

She stopped, "Right...so...I've got two bloody great cocks, spurtin' fake babies into my body, and you want me to be romantic?"

I nodded, "And you're a head. You're in my living room, clean, maybe a little sweaty. You're fine."

Cosmic let out a short huff, "I'm not a bloody lady--"

"You are, and if you want me to put up with you in a relationship, you'll start acting like it."

She stared at me, blinking a few times, "All this ta' get a cock in my mouth? Bloody buck...." she looked me dead in the eyes, having trouble maintaining her glare, "Will you...be my...special- stop looking at me like that!" She tried to look at the floor, quickly corrected by my hand, "Will you...be my special...somepony...?"

I made an indecisive face, "Well...I'm not a pony--"

"Oh fuck you!"

"But I think that's as close as I'm gonna get." I picked her up and started off towards the kitchen. I found a bottle of cheap vodka and pound just enough to get pleasantly plastered, "Oi...right...you want some?"

Cosmic just started laughing as her body apparently returned to the rutting, "Bloody slam some in, and cork me."

I poured a shot, undid my pants, waddle everyone back to the living room and got started. I tossed the cheap shot down her gullet, tossed the glass into the couch cushions and got her into place. I pressed my cock against her nose, standing it straight up as she rested between my thighs, "Ready?"

Cosmic started laughing, sticking her tongue out of her pursed lips and dabbing my cock, "Salty...smelly...aye...I'll be bloody grand."

I rubbed my face and slowly pointed my tip to her, "You're a pervert...."

"And you're not perverted en-- mmmm...." Cosmic shut her eyes, letting out a pleased moan and sucking at my head as I poked it inside. I could feel her laugh, sending a pleasant series of vibrations through my cockhead. I drew a shaky breath as she suckled my tip, trying to reach her tongue down my shaft, tip tickling my flesh and the flat of her tongue coating my head in viscous saliva.

I slowly moved her head forward, letting her take more and more of me into her mouth. I let her go to work, semi impaled on my rod. I could feel a warm puddle of drool settling along my legs as I pulled her deeper and deeper. I made sure not to hurt her, slowly pushing her down. I lost track as I pushed into her throat, my throbbing meat snugly fitted against her twitching muscles.

The extremely sloppy texture was simply amazing. Each moment was punctuated with a soft tongue flicking against my balls and a convulsion from her throat. I was already reaching my peak, trying to hold it back for as long as possible and thrusting my hips. I held her in place, thrusting in and out of her mouth, getting disgustingly arousing moans and gags. I felt horribly perverted, but each dig, each basting of saliva, each drag against her soft tender tongue, pressing against me and sending shockingly hot pulses of pure joy through my pelvis.

Cosmic was accepting it, a single orange eye watching me as I pushed my sweaty rod in and out of her mouth. Her soft lips dragging over the contours of my head. Each vein and curve was accentuated when compared to her greedy suckling and violently thrashing tongue. I played with her ears, the soft texture amazing coupled with the sloppy wet heat on my most sensitive point, and visually pleasing after every flick and twitch.

I stared into her bright orange eye, staring at me, glowing against her dank grey coat. I held on a little longer, pulling out as far as I could before she clenched, holding me with her teeth and keeping my head just inside her lips. "Mmm-mmm." she held me in place, refusing to let go and threatening to bite down on my rod if I tried to pull away.

"I'm gonna- you got--" I locked up, grabbing my own thigh as my leg started to kick spazmatically. My words fizzled in my throat as I tightened up. A flick of Cosmic's tongue against my underside sent me off, "Fuck--" I felt my seed explode from my tip, striping her tongue. The second leaked out around her tongue as she blocked up my hole. My cock ached as it pushed out the salty liquid across her tongue, struggling to get out and gathering in my shaft.

Just as I finished, my final spurts jammed up in my flesh, she sucked hard. Treating me like a salty straw she pulled the few dribbles of cum that remained in me out of my body and into her mouth. I could see her try to smile, refusing to let me go and abusing my overstimulated head.

"Shit-shit-stop-shit!" I yelped, barely able to keep from squirming as my cock was wrapped up in an unending state of wet hot abuse. My leg shot out, slamming into my coffee table with a sickening crunch. My boots clattered to the floor, Cosmic finally letting off and wearing my slightly limp member like an eye patch.

She smiled as she turned her head, letting my cock cover her eyes and lay across the muzzle, "I...." her voice was tired, spent, and reeking of my seed. "I uh...." she took a deep breath, laughing like an idiot, "I'm so bloody spent.... I was gonna make...a joke about glasses.... But these aren't my glasses...."

I let my hands fall to the couch, "That's terrible." I pulled myself away from the half awake head and tucked myself back inside my pants. "Holy shit...so.... That's...a hell of a first date."

"Fuck...dates...." Cosmic stated coldly, "Now...my ass is fucking full of fake sperm.... Toss me...in the bloody shower...I'm gonna take a damn nap."

I waited for the feeling in my legs to return before standing. I tucked the sloppy head under my arm, spotting a huge chunk missing from my coffee table. "Shit." I must have kicked the table mid blow. I abandoned that until tomorrow. A quick trip to the bathroom and I set Cosmic in the sink, turning on the water and letting her enjoy a nice cool down.

I hurried to her room, throwing it open and catching an amazingly pungent smell of sweat, pussy, and pussy sweat. "Holy shit--" while the smell was pleasant in my modestly fucked up state, the room was a mess. Dildos jutting from the floor, creamy fake cum staining the hard wood floor, and Dust laying down the a dildo stuck half in and half out of her pussy.

I started laughing, falling to the floor and sitting on my ass, "This...this is a fucking picture." Dust's glowing red flesh stuffed with a flesh colored human dildo slowly sliding from her. She tried to lift her neck, failing and slamming her neck against the floor. The thud was the final straw, sending the thick dildo from her body and flopping onto the floor. A flood of fake cum spilling from her holes as she slapped her matted tail against the floor.

I scooped her up, making sure to not stain my shirt as I carried her into the bathroom. I set her down in the tub, took the adjustable faucet head off the wall and turned it on. I started spraying down her limp body. "Jesus...it looks like I'm watering a plant...."

Cosmic just started laughing like a fool. "Get in there...it feels good nice and cold...."

I turned to her, keeping the shower head washing off Dust, "You proud of this?"

Cosmic just snickered, "My belly's full of warm goo, my ass is so damn tender, and my pussy has finally had a good rutting for the first damn time in centuries. And...now I've got a repeat source.... I'm, bucking, fantastic."

I just shook my head and kept washing, "Just remember our deal. You gotta be nice to me now."

"Love...I love ya...and you're mine now. Just don't piss me off, argue, or try to hold back, an' we'll be fine." she blew a quick huff, "Oh...and you bucking cheat on me, find another mate, you're gonna loose your bucking balls."

I leaned against the wall, my body growing weak, "Sure...baby."

Things got quiet, Cosmic eventually breaking the silence, "I ain't your baby...I'm your...."

"We doing pet names?" I laughed mockingly, "Shmookums?"

She peeked up from the edge of the sink, "...I'll blood bite ya...."

"Sure think, honey."

Once again things grew quiet, Dust trying to stand but proving unable. She slowly accepted her numb legs and let me clean her off. Cosmic cut the silence once again, "I wanna be miss...."

I snickered, "What, like missy?"

"...Yes...."

I nodded and sprayed down her rear, "Sure thing missy, sure thing."

"Not missy! Miss...." she glared at me, only her eyes visible from the edge of the sink, "Missy's for ladies...I ain't no lady...I'm a ma'am."

"Yes, miss."

"...I like missy better...."

"Yep." I finished with the dousing and sat on the edge of the tub, "Missy sounds better anyways. Cosmic, Missy, Dust."

"Oi...keep it up It's gonna be...Cosmic...Missy...Dust....something else."

I popped my eyes open in surprise, "Uh...slow your roll there.... This is--"

"No! You speed the buck up! It's out there...you say the word...I'll sign whatever...."

I scratched my face, "Well that's sudden--"

"Ya know what was bloody sudden!? My life going from shit to decent! An' maybe it's because of luck, but I like it better when it's you.... Now kiss me...and tell me I'm pretty...."