I walked calmly through the town, generally listing towards the local tailor. I was in no sort of hurry, just enjoying the stroll with Dust. Cosmic had pissed and moaned, but I eventually just dumped her on a pillow and took her body outside.

Ponies were severely unnerved as I dragged head headless body through town on my back, Dust proving unable to cope with walking in public. She locked up halfway there and now I had her slung around my neck, two legs on either side of my head. I reached back and pet her neck, "You okay?"

Dust tried to kick free, really not enjoying the stares of ponies. I did my best to hurry along, ponies parting as I walked. They seemed put off, but not panicking outright. Considering their usual reaction to outsiders they were doing extremely well. For all their singing and joy, these ponies could be extremely prejudice at time.

I let my mind wander as I spotted the boutique and steadied my course. Little by little, step by step I walked into the frilly boutique. "Hello da--" The seamstress froze as I set Dust down, "...Oh my...." The white unicorn trotted over, never getting too close. "Welcome...to Carousal...Boutique. How can I help...you?"

I looked down at Dust, hiding behind me. "I need a saddle."

The mare just stared at me, "...I suppose...alright, who is this?"

I let out a small snicker, "Is it not obvious? She's the Headless Horse...."

The seamstress just nodded, humming slightly, "Indeed.... Well, can she--"

I cut her off, pulling a few bits out and setting them on the counter. "Just something simple. Nothing too fancy."

The mare looked at the bits, taking a few coins and stuffing them in the till. "Very well, come along you...strange...pony."

I lead Dust after her. Things calmed down as the ambient music soothed Dust's nerves. The seamstress lead us to a small fitting area, pulling a stock cloth saddle down from a rack and over to us. "Will this do?"

I looked over the soft blue fabric. "Maybe, just make sure it fits snug. I have to do my own modifications anyways...but...you're the tailor--"

"Seamstress, Rarity, and yes I can." The apparent Rarity went to work immediately, shoving aside her apprehension and slipping Dust into a saddle, "There we are...." She tugged at it, checking the fit and making a few quick alterations on the fly. I watched in awe as the saddle fitted tight to Dust's body. "Can you--" Rarity lifted Dust's hooves, carefully putting a pin into the saddle. "Hmm...this might take a bit...."

I scratched my head and looked at my watch. "Well I have someone I need to take care of. Do you think you could do me a favor?"

Rarity cringed at my words, "You want me to...take care...of this...thing?"

I cocked an eyebrow, "She can hear you."

"Oh!" she grew a little red and turned away from Dust, "I would have thought...without ears...."

I shrugged, "You're a unicorn...you have magic--"

"But it's different!"

I just looked at her with a questioning stare, "Is it? You can levitate things at will, she has no head. I can't do either." I crossed my arms and leaned back, "So, can you help me out?"

Rarity let out a short sigh, "What exactly do you want me to do?"

I pulled out a few bit coins, "Just show her the town, then take her to twenty-three Riverside." I held a few bits for her. "I think being with another pony would be good for her."

Dust added her opinion, stomping once and rearing up. "Hey...quiet you." I set the bits down on the nearest table and turned to Rarity, "So...you think you can do it?"

Rarity looked at the small stack of coins I set down and let out a sharp sigh, "...I suppose. Twenty-three Riverside?"

I nodded, turning to the door, "There might be a mare that tries to stop you. She's trying to take her awa--"

"I'm aware...she's been going door to door trying to get help."

"What!?"

"Mmmhmm, Ink Well. She seems to have it out for your...pet?"

I rubbed my head, "That bit-- Wait, pet? She's not my pet...she's.... Are we talking about her, or the whole deal?"

Rarity looked up from behind Dust, "Whole deal?"

I nodded, "She's got a head, it's just not attached."

"Oh my. Well, she seems like a lovely...mare, very well mannered!" Rarity giggled, pulling the saddle tight, "I must say, this is actually rather, cooky."

I shrugged, "You say that now. Anyways, I need to get going."

"Of course, Mister...."

"Oh, Sander."

Rarity nodded gratefully, "Sander, alright. I hope you understand, we're trading favors."

I let out a short chuckle, "Sure. That's how I met my first girlfriend after all."

Rarity laughed softly, speaking in french as she stopped laughing, "Mister Sander, you do flatter so."

"Yes, I have been known to make pretty girls blush."

"Oh you are just a joy." Rarity jeered, working diligently, "I'll be sure to see her home safe. It's the least I can do for you patronage."

I snorted weakly, "Is a thirty bit tip patronage?"

"That's what I'm claiming it as." She stated, shooing me. "Now go on...let me work."

I waved goodbye and stepped outside. It was rather hot out, the summer months taking over completely and leaving the town in a humid heat.

I walked calmly through town, getting a few strange looks from passersby. One braver sort wandered over, "Hey...you're the guy.... Where's the Headless Horse?"

I turned to the stallion, shrugging, "She's busy, why?"

The stallion looked to the side, "I wanted to see it...."

"Well, you're honest. But she's not a sideshow, she's a person."

The pony looked a little bashful, "Oh...I'm so sorry."

"It's cool dude." I waved him off and carried on towards home. Little by little I made my way towards home. I reached it without much delay, finding everything just like I left it.

I wandered inside, looking around. "Cosmic?"

"...No, I'm a bloody ghost...."

I walked into my living room, finding her atop a pillow. "You could pass as one." I looked up to the TV, a crappy soap opera pouring liquid drama from the screen. "How've you been?"

She did her best shrug, "These ponies...they make me sad. Shit like this would never fly under the old Celestia." She looked over to it as I took a seat beside her, "Cheating, herding, marital vows, what a load of bollocks."

I scratched the tip of my nose, "...So I'm gonna have to ask about that later but first, you know this is fake, right?"

Her eyes popped open, "Oh! Well ya never bloody said that!"

I started chuckling, "You thought it was real!?"

"How the buck was I supposed to know!? It's like a damn picture show, and ponies always had to actually do that stuff!" She flicked her ears angrily, "Dumb ass."

I picked her up and held her atop my head, "So is the swearing just a defense mechanism? Cause you do it when you're embarrassed."

Cosmic grumbled angrily, her ears slapping loudly against her head, "I'm not bloody embarrassed!"

I held her in place and felt her cheeks, "You're warm...."

"Piss off!"

I pulled her down from her makeshift hat status and looked her in the eyes, "You're blushing."

She scrunched up her muzzle, "Dirty perverted wanker--"

"Ha!" I caught her, "You're not bloody blushing!" I tweeked her ear and set her down beside me, "You didn't even hesitate to swear at me! Didn't say you weren't, just jumped straight to calling me a wanker!"

"Yeah well--"

"No! You're defensive, and all I want to do is help you!"

She glared at me, "You're just trying to get my bloody guard down, so you can either rape me, or eat me. Maybe bloody both!"

I leaned away in disgust, "Eugh, what the hell is wrong with you!?" I picked her up and shook her once, "Why do you not trust me!?"

"Maybe because you're a nutcase, who kidnapped me, and is now holding me bloody hostage!"

"Then leave!" I stood up and set her down on the couch, "You say the word and I'll put you right back where I found you!"

Things got quiet as she stared me down. We both just glared at each other from a foot away.

Eventually she caved, breaking her stare and settling back down, "I don't want to go back...."

I shook my head, "Alright then!" I looked to my door, "You've said it, let's make it official." I went up to my office, finding a few forms and bringing them to Cosmic, "I'll make you as a resident."

"What the buck does that mean!?"

I shushed her and looked over the options. "I can make you...a dependent...a room mate...a significant other...or...renter."

"What the buck are you on about!?" Cosmic started yapping, "I'm not gonna sign buck!"

I mocked her, "Nee nee nee nee nee, I'm Cosmic, I've got no body but I swear like a drunk, mee mee mee," I sorted out the forms, "Now which is it gonna be, because if you're staying here I have to let the city know."

Cosmic grew a soft pink, "I don't want a house...."

I slapped myself across the forehead, "You can either register or you can go back to the woods. Actually...I have a cheaty idea!" I started marking things down. "I make you and Dust dependents, I get a tax cut!"

"No!" Cosmic yelped, lifting her chin, "I'm not dependent!"

I turned to her with a cock of my head, "You're a decapitated head!"

"Make me something else! Make me a room mate!"

I shook my head, thinking of a small way to flirt, "Tell you what, I'll mark you a dependent, or significant other."

Cosmic glared at me, "So...it's gonna be like that, eh?"

I grew a Cheshire smile, "Oh we're playing that game."

She turned away, "Ya trying ta get at a bodyless mare...ya desperate or something!?"

I shrugged, "I can't help it if I see a nice mare behind all that angry cockney."

She just flattened her ears out defensively, "...You're a dick."

"See! This is why I'm doing this! Because no matter how nice I am, you're fucking mean to me!" A loud knocking came from my front door. "I guess that's her-- Oh wait!" I grabbed Cosmic.

"Oi, the buck!?"

"Play dead!"

"What--"

"Trust me for once! Play dead!" She rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out and adopting a deathly expression. "Perfect!" I hurried over to the front door, throwing it open. Rarity and Dust stood calmly before me.

Rarity smiled, "Mister--"

"Hey check this out!" I thrust the decapitated pony head before her, "Cool right!?"

Rarity let out a harrowing scream, "Bwwwwaaahaa aaaah-- aaaaaaaaaaah," she shrieked, turning around and running like mad.

I let out a silent laugh as my gut twisted up, "Oh shit--" I did my best not to laugh, failing miserably and bellowing to Rarity's girly screams. "Ooooh god, I'm gonna have to apologiz--"

I stopped myself as another's snickering filled the air. It was raspy, a bit of a girly pitch with a smooth finish. "That's bloody--" Cosmic froze as I turned her to face me, "...."

"You laughed."

Cosmic grew flustered as Dust brushed against my thigh and into the house. "Not because of your dumb ass! That bint went sailing! Running off like a looney and screamin' like a filly!"

"Uh huh. So, significant other?"

"Don't bloody start!"

I closed the door and set the two halves down on either side. I picked up where I left off and hovered my hand over the paper, "So, what's it gonna be, honey?"

She furrowed her brow hard, "I ain't never had a mate call me, honey, ain't gonna start now...so you best piss off."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Cosmic turned away, "....Write my full name...."

"Under?"

She grew a little pink and puffed out her cheeks, "Signifimeemee...."

I laughed as I put her on my lap, "What was that?"

She only grew redder, "I'm not a dependent...."

I put my pen to the paper, "Watch...watch me mark it." She just tried to turn completely away. "Significant...other.... Including, but not limited to...spouse, life partner, herdmate, marefriend or girlfriend, coltfriend or boyfriend." I marked it with a flick of my wrist, "Bam!"

Cosmic took a deep breath, "Right...give us a kiss then...make it, official."

I laughed softly, picking her up and lifting her to my cheek, "Aw, how nice! Quick peck on the-- Ow- ow- ow!", I yelped, trying to pull her off. She just bit my cheek as hard as she could, refusing to let go until I finally pried her off. "You ruined it! Such a sweet moment, ruined!" I stood up, leaving her alone with her body, "Ruined!"

"Oi! Bloody facing the wall here! ...Oi...? Hello? ...I don't like this! ...It's too bloody quiet now!"