"Um...I don't really know what to do here."

"Yeah, this is weird."

"Weirder than the griffon thing?"

"Way- way weirder."

I watched the border workers as they stared at my I.D. "So...can we let him through?"

A second guard rubbed his chin. "It's him, I mean...fingerprints and everything check out."

The first nodded. "We should send somebody across first, let them know what to expect."

The second pressed his hands against his desk. "Hey, can I take a picture of this?" He asked, pulling his phone from his pocket. "They're not gonna believe me otherwise."

I let out a long sigh. "Well get my wife in here. Might as well kill two birds with one stone."

The guards looked down at their computer. "Uh...wife--"

"Girlfriend, mare friend, friends, whatever you want to call it!" I crossed my arms, my head sitting on the guard's desk. "I haven't exactly had time to make this shit official!"

"Sir please don't swear at--"

"I've been waiting over an hour! Sort it out!" I shouted, one guard staring at my head, the other at my chest. "I wasn't even supposed to be in two pieces...."

The guard looking at me nodded. "It would have made this a lot simpler."

"Well if it makes you feel better I'll probably be in one piece when I come back." I stated, watching the second guard go for Cosmic Dust.

The first guard continued to stare at me. "It's like you're trying to ruin our records."

"Can I go through or not?" I put my hands on my hips, ignoring the feminine pose. "Honestly, I'm trying to fix this and you're making it more difficult."

The guard shook his head. "I really don't know what to mark this as. I really wish I could figure this out, and we could probably claim your body as baggage...uh...I think." He tacked away at his keyboard. "Yeah, that works."

I rolled my eyes, "This is worse than London International."

The guard started to laugh. "Oh god, could you imagine going through an airport like this!? This isn't a very high security place, and you're having this much trouble!"

I felt my shoulders grow heavy. "Oh...I'm gonna be stuck in Canada, aren't I?"

The guard nodded, "You might make it into the U.S. but you're not getting on a plane like that."

"Bugga." I muttered, picking my head up from the desk. "How much longer is this gonna take?"

The guard looked up at me. "Not sure. Today's been a weird day, we just had a bunch of foals, like, eighty foals, head through. Everyone is kinda on edge, and this is just weird." He looked up at me, watching me plop down on a seat in the security room. "Did it hurt?"

"No."

The guard continued to type. "So...you're with a pony?"

"Yes." I crossed my legs, setting my head on my lap. "How's it looking?"

The guard looked up at me. "Huh? Oh, no I'm done. We're just waiting for your friend."

"Wife--"

"Pony." He shot back, staring at me. "I think it's easier if we just call her your pony."

"Ponies." I corrected.

"Then shouldn't it have been wives?" The guard asked, peeking out from behind his computer.

I stared at him, "How are you a border guard?"

The man stared at me, completely devoid of emotion. "I applied."

I pressed my lips shut. If I said anything I would explode. Between Dust's childishness and this guard's unintentional provocation I was about to lose it. "How much longer?"

A second guard came in. "Okay...she has two passports." He walked up to me. "This just got a whole lot more complicated."

I held back my rage. "How much--"

"I marked him as cargo." The first guard stated, continuing to stare into his monitor. "Where's the pony?"

The second guard looked at me. "Uh, she's waiting on the other side."

The first guard stood up. "Well, I think we're done here. Go ahead and take him through."

The second guard waved me over. "Alright then. She already took your bags over. You're all that's left."

I stood up, snorting angrily. "Thank you." I walked towards the door. "Have a nice day." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Ya have a wonderful day, come back soon." The first guard called, her voice stirring my rage to a new degree.

I took a deep breath as I walked through the corridors towards the portal. "All this just to go home."

"To Canada." The guard fixed my complaint. "Said you're from the UK."

"Shut up." I hissed, "Seriously, can I just head through?"

The guard pointed past me, towards the portal. A blue glowing wall waiting for me, "Yeah, go ahead. Mind your step."

I groaned loudly, carrying my head through. "Hate this place." I stepped through, my skin tingling with static as I walked from Equestria back to Earth. Cosmic was wrapped up in a pair of sport shorts and a tank while Dust wore a set of oversized sunglasses and a hat. "Where are the bags?"

Dust looked over at me. "Oh, they are really nice over here. They already called a cab and the bags are getting packed."

I stared at her. "...Did we just get robbed!?"

A man in a black suit walked into the dull concrete basement. "No, your bags are in holding. We're going to have to take full account, reports said you're carrying valuable equipment estimated over several million. So...grab a pen."

I felt something in my brain snap. "God please no."

The man cocked his head. "Sir?"

"Please, no more paperwork. Please, just- I'm so sick of sitting around!" I pleaded, walking with the man and Cosmic. "Please, for the love of god just let us--"

"It's a safety concern--" Dust cut him off, taking out a neatly folded piece of paper. "What's this?"

Dust smiled, "Full manifest and itinerary." She levitated out a few more notes. "Contact information and of course next of kin."

The man looked at the notes. "Oh, wonderful. Follow me and we'll see you through."

I ran up to Cosmic, grabbing Dust off her back. "Thank you, thank you so much!" I cried. "Dust, thank you."

She smiled, accepting her place under my arm. "Of course. I enjoy a bit of fun and play, but I know how to be an adult."

I felt my lower lip tug, a frown settling on my face. "So do I. I've just never been good with planning trips." I watched the dull concrete walls slowly bleed into Equestrian filled offices. "Went to Spain once, almost got lost twice."

Dust hummed softly. "Leave the planning to me, you just be there when I need a brave stallion to take care of me." She smiled, blowing air past my fingers. "Might want to learn how to cook. Cosmic can't and I've never worked with my hooves."

I focused on the walk. Moving through the Equestrian embassy. "Hey so, how are we going to figure out where to do this?"

Dust smiled. "Cosmic and I did some research, we need to go to a place called Buffalo." She giggled gently. "How nice of you to name a city after them."

I kept on walking, going through a few detectors and passing a griffon with our bags. "Why Buffalo?"

Cosmic was waiting just outside the last room of the embassy, the griffon slowly ferrying our bags outside. Dust whistled to catch my attention. "If we're right, there's a few different ways we could move into Equestria. And I want to see this, Niagra thing."

I frowned hard. "We're sight seeing?"

Dust laughed, my stomach grumbling at the noise. "Well if you do play hero, I'm going to enjoy myself afterwards. Now come, sooner we arrive, the sooner you can play with the multiverse."