Chapter 9 Alt Title: Meetings Between a False God and a Real God

As I descended into Auric's Universe, I found myself in a small Redirect Tunnel, hovering in front of a curious bit of coding I usually call a Permission Gate; meaning that most people needed permission to enter. After sending my signal through, I waited but a moment and a message popped up:

"Well, that's convenient"

Of course, I could have just slipped in without notice, but then, how was I supposed to let Auric know I was on his side that way? Pushing the thoughts out of my mind, I dove down through the Redirect Tunnel and out into Equestria's atmosphere with a, much more violent than usual,

VWORPLE

"Well, that was louder than I thought it'd be...I guess it's because I bypassed the Invader Subroutines on the Universal Protocol Grid maybe it's because of a denser mana concentration? I forgot to check the concentration levels again, didn't I? Well, no use in bothering with that line of thought, I need to find...Auric's...House..."

As I continued my flight over Equestria, I noticed that, once again, I had appeared directly over Canterlot.

'Jeez, what is it with Equestria and making me enter right over Canterlot anyways?'

Shelving the thought, I made my way in the general direction of the Everfree, knowing I'd find Auric's tower before long. After a few minutes worth of flight, I finally made my way over to Auric’s tower. Touching down, I went over to knock on the doors, only to notice a peculiar item on the ground.

“Oh my fucking god what the hell. Who the hell puts a nude painting outside someone’s house I swear to god.”

It...was a nude painting of Auric in his human form, rising from two halves of a planet a la Venus. It was also surprisingly well done and also spectacularly creepy. I looked around, but nobody was in sight. Given that it was around midnight, ‘twas understandable. I decided right then and there that a) Teridax must have done this to fuck with Auric–after all, I don’t think Auric would want a nude painting of himself–, and b) I should actually probably ask before destroying it...just in case it was a gift/commission of some sort.

“Okay, creepy painting aside… maybe I should actually meet this guy before I do anything else…”

Picking up the painting–and trying not to shiver in revulsion–I walked up to the front door and raised my fist to knock…

Only to be interrupted by a decidedly feminine voice. “Who goes there?! Why do you seek this tower?”

“My name is Umbra Shadow-Walker, interdimensional traveler extraordinaire! I came because I heard Auric’s message to the Multiverse!...Also, someone left a weird painting by the door,” I replied.

“Oh Sol damn that robot,” the voice replied. “Two seconds while I confer with Auric. He’s been rather shaken up lately. If he vouches for you, well and good. If not...you’d best have some legs.”

I blinked. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I waited for a while, mumbling plans to myself about various Universes that I wanted to add to the Multiverse and generally just being bored. And then the most wonderful thing happened:

The gate opened, and a white unicorn mare was standing on the other side. “He’s vouched for you, something about his mirror. Enter Umbra, but know you this, I’m watching you.”

Blinking once again, I shook my head to clear the boredom and walked through the gate, painting grasped delicately between two fingers. Every now and again, I’d shiver in disgust. The painting was just that disturbing.

‘Oh Ye gods I’m not sure how long I can stand holding this damn piece of shit. I wouldn’t mind so much if someone else had painted it, but Teridax!? Ugh...’

The mare apparently noticed my discomfort and stopped us on the ground floor. “You can just burn that. Auric wouldn’t take it well at this point.”

“Oh thank Fausticorn!” And with that little exclamation, I tossed the accursed piece of canvas into a slightly more shadowy corner where it was immediately shredded and consumed by the shadows under my command. The unicorn mare walked up to the one door without a symbol, knocked in some kind of pattern, and-

Was that a light growing under me? What th-

VWORPLE

And with that, I found myself in an entirely black, square room, with an orange unicorn pony in one corner, looking into a huge mirror. The one noticeable thing I picked out about him right away was that his cutie mark was that of an eclipse, and then it connected.

“Auric Fulcrum, I presume? I heard your message while riding the Void currents. Teridax sounds–and looks–like an asshole and I’d like to help in any way I can. Apologies, I haven’t introduced myself properly have I? I’m Umbra Shadow-Walker, nice to meet you.” There, suitably formal, yet still Umbra-casual.

The pony turned to me and started for a moment. “Didn’t expect you to literally be made of shadows...Then again, the Multiverse is vast, I’m sure there’s a version of everyone as everything out there somewhere.”

He drew himself up and then I noticed his hooves. Why? Because crystal-blue hooves on an orange pony tend not to happen. Especially magically-powerful ones.

“Y’know, when I first scanned your Universe, I did notice you had a crystal-blue sword; any relation to the color of your hooves?...Wait a minute. I think we came from the same Universe...or the Merchant visited you after he visited me. I distinctly recall your sword hanging on the wall of the Merchant’s stand at Comic-con. Say what you will, but I’m honestly thankful for that asshole giving me my mask...even if it did cost about a hundred dollars...asshole.”

He smiled a sad smile as I mentioned his hooves. “It’s a long story involving a Halloween party, a Dullahan costume, and a foolish wish, along with a Golden Sun and me breaking my Immortality. Apparently, if you can’t fend off Equus’ natural Harmony field, it makes you more Harmonious, so this is what I get. I’ll get better. Eventually.”

“Man, sucks for you. Sucks worse for me, since if I lose all my magic, I dissipate and won’t reform until I can get at least ten percent of my magic back. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened yet.” And I sincerely hope it never does happen to me.

He shrugged. “Could be worse. It could always be worse. Anyways, I saw you wanted in, mind telling me any ideas you had to help? Frankly, I’m just now finding out how...powerful this guy is.”

“Well, to be honest, if, and I do mean IF, I shelved my morals I could just...erase his Universe with him in it. I’ve coded Universes into being before and I can damn well code them out of existence. But, I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to do that. Aside from my OP coding abilities, have you ever heard of a series called Fate Stay/Night?” I hope he has, it’d make the explanation go a lot smoother.

Sadly, the pony shook his head. “Sorry, not much for manga or anime when I was on Earth. And yeah, I really wouldn’t want you to for various reasons. Mostly because that’s not how I would do things. Ever. But also because you’d attract the attention of Equestria’s Guardian. True, you could probably justify it, but She’d still not likely take it well that you’d wiped an Equestria out of existence, even if it was to kill Teridax.”

“Equestria’s Guardian? Oh yeah, Fausticorn! We’re pretty cool, she’s my...advice pony/mentor. And yeah, she’d kill me if I destroyed another Universe. Anyways-”

“Wait. Another. You mean you’ve done it before. And you’re still breathing. How?!”

“Long story short: Conversion Bureau and frank inexperience. She sees me as a child, and we all know how destructive children can be. Anyways, in Fate Stay/Night, two of the characters can produce nigh endless amounts of magical swords. Gilgamesh, not the one you’ve met, though, has a literal endless armory full of ‘his’ treasures and Archer can copy any weapon he sees instantly. I can reproduce just about anything with a shadow–in varying degrees of difficulty–and so I can make anything they can. Gilgamesh has a sword called Ea, Sword of Rupture. On a scale of one to ten, Ea’s attack, Enuma Elish, is about maybe a thirty. I can replicate it at about a level of twenty, though I’m useless for the next three hours. Think that’ll do anything?”

The ponified Alchemist looked to the side and sighed. “I’m not normally helpless, y’know. And while I would appreciate some grand power to instantly win a battle...it’d cheapen it somehow, you get what I’m saying? Like starting a game and instantly becoming max-statted. I mean, I know I face something terrible. But if we were to use your strength to its fullest capacity...then what room would there be for anyone else to try?”

He holds a hoof up to his chin and hums. “Though, I can think of a few things, right now, that I could ask of you to do. Can you replicate any item, or do you have restrictions on that based on what you’ve just said to me?”

“Well, one: I know how you feel, I try not to use any of my OP attacks unless I’m in very real danger. Two: Anything that gives off an intensely magical light is going to shred me to pieces, so I can’t replicate just anything. Three: I’m more of a support type guy anyways. If you guys need help, hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

The pony nods, a plan forming in his eyes. “D’you know of Psynergy Stones? Don’t answer. I need to find enough large ones, the ones that never run dry, for all the towns. After that, I’m free to drain whatever I find, to fuel my own re-ascension to Immortality. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. And then there’s thing two.”

He pauses for a minute before gaining a cheeky smile. “D’you think you could pass a request on to Fausticorn for me?”
I nodded a bit, “Yeah, I can help with both. I got a few artifacts that you could drain, and Fausticorn usually likes to help me, since I’m really the only one she’s spoken to for a while...as far as I know at least.”

“There people go, making assumptions that Time is a thing that matters in the Void Eternal,” he quipped. “Anyways. I have a message, c’mere…”

I shifted over to Auric and leaned in, “What is it?”

The request would have made my face go pale. If I still had a face. Or blood.

“He wants me to what.”

“That’s what he said, ad verbatim, really.”

The Lady Fausticorn looked taken aback for the first time I’d seen her. “Really. Of all the things in the Multiverse he could have asked me for, all he asks is that I officiate his marriage to Measured Thought?”

“Hey, his words, not mine. I was just as surprised as you are. Anyways… You up for it?”

She looked aside as though embarrassed. “But...I haven’t walked a mortal realm since there were mortal realms. And I have nothing to wear!”

“One: You are the creator of the Equestria base template, you can do whatever you want, and they’ll just have to deal with it. Two: You are the Immortal Guardian Deity of the Equestria Cluster. Look. I can get you something to wear, just… Yes or No; it’s a simple question.”

She muttered something that I barely managed to pick up, it sounded vaguely like ‘dratted child using his logic on me’ before speaking up in a louder voice. “Fine. Tell this...Auric Fulcrum I shall be along momentarily. And you’d best serve as a witness, young one.”

“Great, just pop over when you’re ready. I’ll go tell him the good news.”
VWORPLE

The venue was simple: a field under the night sky, which had been cleared to show the stars and moon above. Terribly romantic.

The guest list was even simpler: Me, Auric, Measured, the Lady Faust...and once his Celestia and Luna had noticed, they naturally joined in as well. You can’t be the Lady Faust and not get noticed when you walk into a world. It’d be like being a fat guy and not causing a tidal wave by jumping into a pool.

Oh ye gods, why did I make that analogy.

“So...I guess we don’t exactly need a best man for this, now do we?” Thank you, brain, for that amazingly eloquent thought.
Auric snorted and rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Richard’s in another dimension, Dullahan’s guarding the only weakness in the World-Barrier, and Newvale’s probably asleep.”

Measured Thought pitched in then. “Mom and Dad are also probably asleep. And in Canterlot. And recovering from having so many of their colleagues found out to be a part of Omega’s conspiracy. I think they were getting better when I last checked.”

“Ask a stupid question, I suppose. Anyways, you two lovebirds get on with it, I’m sure Lady Fausticorn’s getting impatient just standing around doing nothing. Hey...are Celestia and Luna bowing? What am I saying, of course they are, not everyday that your goddess shows up to officiate a wedding, after all. Am I right?”

Auric rolled his eyes again, but focused on Measured Thought. “Measured, when I first saw you, there was only one thing running through my mind: Why is that crazy unicorn doing that?” She laughed softly. “But then I freed you from the control of Omega, and as I spent more time around you, I went from wanting to get you help for your attachment complex...to actually caring about you. And then that bastard Omega sent a final command before I Banished him.”

He held one of her hooves in both of his. “I broke my immortality, just for you. I saw...things, from beyond all realities, that told me of possible futures. And now, I wish to make sure that whatever the future holds, whatever this foe does to us, we face it together. It would be an honor if you agreed to marry me.”

Measured Thought smiled and softly complained. “How am I supposed to best that?” Still, she cleared her throat and tried.
“Auric Fulcrum, you’ve saved me time and again. From Omega, from myself, and from certain death. And while I did look up to you, as I spent more time around you, I became more and more irritated that you became unpredictable in nearly every circumstance. Save one. Whenever I’m in danger, you run to my side to save me. And then I noticed...you do it for everyone. Your spirit, your nobility, that’s what drew me in, and while the road ahead may be bumpy...I promise to be there with you for it, no matter what. It would be my honor if you agreed to marry me.”

The two nodded and looked to the Lady Faust, who also nodded. “Do you have the rings?”

Auric did...something then. He raised one hoof up, stamped the ground, and from it came two perfectly matched golden rings with diamonds on them. He nearly collapsed from doing so, but Measured held him up and placed the rings on their horns. “Transmutation...why you so difficult now?” he managed to wheeze out.

Lady Fausticorn watched on for a moment, then continued. “Then by the Authority vested in me as Guardian of this Realm, I, Lady Fausticorn, Pronounce thee, Auric Fulcrum and Measured Thought, husband and wife! As the saying goes, you may now kiss the bride.”

Measured Thought hadn’t quite waited, though. That’s the only explanation I can come up with that would end up with Auric nearly on his back with her tongue down his throat. She eventually came up for air, though, and Auric’s first words were, and I quote,

“Somepony’s enthusiastic. Wonder why.”

I watched on with a vague sense of ‘not belonging’. I never really liked weddings, after all. Still, I pushed it aside to rectify a little bit of wrong.

“Hey Auric, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but when you said something about draining things, what did you mean?”

He looked over to me with a deadpan expression. “Remember the Alicorn Amulet? Well, my hooves act as natural magic syphons. Once my ‘normal’ tank for a unicorn is full, the overflow goes to my nigh-empty one that’s supposed to contain the power the Golden Sun gave me. I ate it’s power, in other words, and got a good ten percent in that loading bar back.”

I smirked...though you wouldn’t be able to tell, no face and all. “I’ve got some stuff in my subspace pocket that might interest you then. At one point I stumbled upon a Universe with an albino changeling named Abel. Well, we struck a deal, and I got a few vats of gelatinous magic out of it. Since I haven’t used any of it, it’s worth maybe, I dunno, some few hundred thousand arbitrary mana units or so. Think you could use it?”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head again. “Nah...but thanks for the lead and reminder to talk to the changelings. If they can do that sorta thing in this dimension, then we might be able to strike a deal of our own.”

He eventually disentangled himself from his new bride and walked towards me. “And seriously, Umbra? Even if you decide to do nothing with my other request? Thank you. I will admit that there was...an ulterior motive to me asking Faust to marry us, but being married to her? Thank you for asking Faust for me. I’d be honored to count you among my friends in the Displaced.”

“‘S all good. But remember, if you need anything, anything at all, and I’m talking everything from kittens to reality bombs here, I can probably provide for you. I guess you could call me a more friendly, less creepy Merchant...without the whole “Send you to another Universe for the hell of it” thing. Just… give me a call, alright?”

He smirked as he looked at me. “Personally, I was going to go with a Matrix reference...Morpheus. But alright. Take care now, y’hear?”

He then turned to Lady Faust and bowed deeply. “And thank you, Milady, for agreeing to this. It truly means the world to me.”
Lady Fausticorn smiled down at Auric. “T’was my pleasure, Auric Fulcrum. And also thank you for the opportunity to visit one of the Realms I so lovingly created.”

I sighed and looked up at the night sky. “Well, I guess that’s my part played, I’ll be back if you need me, maybe I’ll be back even if you don’t need me. It was fun.”

The last thing I saw and heard before I left was Measured Thought grabbing a hold of Auric and not-so-quietly whispering into his ear. “Time to go consummate our marriage, love…”

‘If ever there were a thing I did not need to hear, like, at all, I think that’d be one of them. Still, I hope it goes well for them.’
VWORPLE

End Chapter 9

Author's Notes:

Whew! What a rush! Well, Umbra's met Auric and now we must wait with bated breath to see what Ssendam's going to write for Teridax. This is going to be SO AWESOME!

Also: Thanks to Thadius0 who co-wrote this entire goddamn chapter with me over the course of a few hours. Man, I love that guy...in a platonic fashion.

Thanks to him, I was actually able to get correct characterization for Auric and Measured Thought. So THANK YOU, MAN!

And, even if he didn't even have anything to do with the chapter: Thank you Slayer10321, for being the one to push me into this collaboration. You are now promoted to the dubiously illustrious seat of #1 Fan of mine.