Chapter 3 Alt Title: I Really Fucked This Up, Didn't I?

When I woke, well, that brings us to where we where before the flashback, when I chose my new name.
"Ugh, Jesus Christ, why on earth did I taunt three, pissed off, powerful, pony Princesses? Heh, alliteration.
Wait a minute, where am I now? And why am I floating in this bubble?"
"I see you're awake, to be honest, I didn't think you would wake up anytime soon, given that you knocked yourself out on my shield spell."
Oh, when did Princess Celestia get here? I guess that explains the gold tint in this otherwise transparent bubble.
"Greetings, Princess. I apologize for the mess I caused, a three hundred mile per hour impact into solid stone often causes quite a bit of delirium in its victims as you can imagine."
Princess Celestia's light glare eased up, just a little, and I think that the room cooled a few degrees. I'd say it warmed up, but that's reserved for Luna's icy Death Glare, not Celestia's burning Rage Stare. Deciding to mess with her, just a little- didn't want to be obliterated after all- I followed a new set of instincts that led to me collapsing into a 'liquid' form, then using my own shadow mass to teleport outside the containment spell, right next to the Princess herself.
Curses, I'm in my natural state again.
Celestia looks unperturbed, but the room temperature cools again, this time it's starting to reach from the upper sixties to the upper fifties. I think I pissed her off-yup, she's using a mild death glare.
"I won't ask how you did that, but I will ask that you do not do so again, if only for the sake of your continued health."
"...Yes ma'am..."
I couldn't help it, I flinched. Despite being a pony, and also being ridiculously friggin' adorable, Princess Celestia commanded enough fear and respect to make the newly found semi-indestructible me flinch like a wuss. And I gotta say, I wasn't surprised.
"Now then, I'm sure you have questions, your Highness. I'll answer to the best of my ability, if I can."
"Good. Now then, what exactly are you? You don't seem to match any known species on record, and I've never seen anything like you in the millennia that I've been alive."
"...Long story, but the gist of it is that I used to be a 'human', a nearly hairless, tall, primate-looking creature of intelligence approaching or surpassing pony-kind, depending on the subject. Though, as of right now, the best way to describe me is a shadow."
"Where did you come from?"
"While I don't know exactly where in the multiverse I came from, I do know that it was a universe entirely different from this one, given that there was no magic."
"No magic? Interesting. Now then, just what are your intentions towards Equestria and my little ponies?"
"I dunno, I think I'd just like to live somewhere peaceful, learn about this world a bit, maybe have some fun...I don't have any plans for now."
"Well then, I see no reason for any more worry, come with me and we'll get you settled into your new job"
Well, that was easy. Wait, new job?
"What new job?"
"You're going to repair everything that you destroyed, and since you're getting paid for it, you'll also need to buy new decorations for the rooms that you destroyed when you impacted my castle."
"Oh yeah...sorry about that, by the way. Mistakes happen, y'know? I didn't even realize what was going on at that point."
The two of us walked out of the dungeon, coming out in a little used part of the castle, judging from the bits of cobwebs scattered around.
You know what, I think I'll actually enjoy my stay here; it's not like I had much back home anyways...except for my computer.

Time Skip: 3 Weeks Later

Okay, y'know what?
Life in Equestria so far sucks [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. Like really, really massive [EXPLETIVE DELETED].
I thought that repairing the damage would be easy, but let's just say that it wasn't. For a clearer picture, think of Canterlot Castle.
Now take out four towers and three balconies. Yeah. The dust cloud was still there, still thrown up from the force of my landing.
Gods, kill me now.
...Wait, what the hell is up with the Sun? And the Moon?
Something isn't right, think dumbass, what could it be?
Oh shit, season 4 episode 1. Time to haul ass to Ponyville.

Given that I knew where I wanted to teleport out of, that being Twilight's shadow, I popped out without much difficulty.
I shouldn't have, given how much effort I put into figuring myself out over the past few weeks.
"Good...morning?...Princess. I see Ponyville's having a bit of a weed problem, would you like some help?"
"Gah! Where did you come from?" "Well when a mommy shadow and a daddy shadow love each other very much-" "Nevermind! Just help get rid of these plants!" "As you wish"
Another great thing about being able to do what I do: I figured out how to use shadows not just as teleport locations, but tunnels and refractors, letting me send parts of my body through at a time, and out of multiple shadows as well.
Yeah, I thought it was a little OP as well, but since I have it, I can't complain.
And I put it to very good use: each vine cast a shadow, there were also shadows everywhere, so all the vines were appropriately sliced, diced, and made into the world's weirdest julienne fries.
I felt like such a badass right then.
"Problem solved, Princess. Will that be all?"
"Well, I suppose so-WATCH OUT!" "Huh?"
STAB
"ARGH SON OF A BITCH!"
"Umbra!"
"Just kidding"
I stared at the vine jabbed straight through my chest with a sense of vague numbness, it wasn't like I was hurt or anything, I think my 'nerve endings' shut off to keep from me from feeling pain.
Without another word, I shredded the vine from tip to root, using shadows both internal and external; I was a bit annoyed right then.
You know what, screw keeping the timeline intact.
"Princess, I think I know how to fix this, gather the Elements of Harmony and follow me.

An hour later, and the Elements of Harmony were back in the Tree of Harmony, the vines were gone, and I got to brutally murder a cragadile...or whatever the fuck it's called.
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have done that in front of the Element bearers, but hey, preemptive defense.

End Arc 1

Author's Notes:

Egads, it appears that I still don't know what I'm doing!
Anyone got suggestions?