“Anon?”

“Huh?”

“You alright, brah?” Barb asked. “You said something about running parties sucking mad dick sometimes, then just sat there staring into space for like ten minutes."

You blinked, staring at your small dragon sidekick inquisitively.

“Bro, when’d you even get here?” You asked, confused.

“I rolled up like twenty minutes ago, when you were talking about Applejack sitting on your cock.”

“Oh. Huh.” You scratched your head in thought as you eyed the dragon tiredly. “Sorry broseph, I didn’t get enough sleep last night, I guess.”

“It’s four in the afternoon.” The young dragon deadpanned.

“Exactly. I’m going the fuck back to sleep.” You said, rising from your seat. “It’s too early for this shit.”

“Damn, you’re bailing on us mid-story? That’s pretty whack, fam.” The poorly disguised princess responded to your sudden mood shift.

“Sorry bro, I need my beauty sleep.” You answered with a shrug.

“No amount of sleep is going to help your ugly monkey ass, brodie.” Celestia roasted your ass.

“Your mother has a job and is a respected member of the community.” You responded to her bants by going straight at her metaphorical balls, in a metaphorical way.

“Touche.” The wife beater wearing alicorn turned her attention to your dragon loli sidekick. “Yo lil’ nigga, you wanna get some waffles and sling some crack to the zebra community to prevent them from escaping poverty and ensuring they remain dependent on welfare, therefore creating a subservient class that will always vote in favor of me- I mean, Celestia?”

“DO I!” Barb exclaimed excitedly.

With that, the two of them rose from their seats, and promptly fucked off, leaving you and Lyra alone.

Wait, what was that Celestia said about selling crack to zebras?

That’s some fucking glow in the dark shit.

As you lost yourself in your inner monologue, you felt a soft hoof wrap around your waist. You looked down, spotting Lyra looking up at you with a longing expression.

“Looks like it’s just us, hot stuff.” She shot you a coy smile. “I could go for a nap, mind if I join you, brah?”

You felt a warmth grow in your chest as you took in the mare before you. “Sure fam, sounds like a solid plan.”

Hand in hoof, the two of you made your way to your upstairs bedroom, which was still completely trashed from last night’s rager.

You didn’t necessarily mind, considering you generally do a horrible job of keeping your room clean anyways.

You removed a few empties from atop your bed, before jumping in, sliding underneath the covers. Your bromantic partner slid in right next to you, wasting no time in making a pillow out of your chest and wrapping her hooves around you, gently embracing you as she nuzzled at your pecs.

You felt the warm feeling in your chest grow stronger as you smiled at the mare’s show of affection.

Things were still a bit complicated between the two of you, but you felt strangely much more comfortable with the idea of dating your bro than you used to be. It was almost seemingly an overnight change, now that you thought about it.

“I had a good time last night, by the way.” Lyra suddenly spoke up, stroking your chest as she spoke. “I haven’t felt like this since, well, I suppose I haven’t felt like this since we first kinda got together.”

“That’s pretty gay, bro.”

“Hush.” Lyra playfully gave your cheek a light smack. “I’m trying to have a moment here.”

“What a hetero.” You commented with a smirk.

She smiled, continuing to speak. “Thanks for leaving the party with me to get some time alone with me, by the way. I really needed that.”

You blinked in confusion. “I left the party?” You asked, legitimately not remembering leaving at any point.

“You don’t remember?” The aquamarine gave you a questioning look as she looked up at you. “We left and fucked around outside a bit. I kinda mentioned that shit last chapter.”

“Sorry, I’m a little hazy on the details of what happened last night, remember?” You said, as you scratched your face in thought. “Actually… now that I’m thinking about it… I think I remember something along those lines.”

With your combined powers, you and Barb made quick work of the line that had built up while you were busy trying to get your fuck on. Your disappointment and blue balls quickly faded away, as you got back into the rager spirit, and immersed yourself in the energy of the party.

You took it all in. Ponies drinking, illicit substances being passed around. The rhythmic beat of the house music that emanated throughout the house as partygoers danced and vibed to it. Lights flashed and shined as mares passionately made out with each other, and stallions cheered along to the action.

You cheered along with them, before making yourself a quick drink, slapping your dragon sidekick turned bartender some skin, and made your way out from behind the bar.

“YO ANON!”

You spun towards the source of the voice and posed dramatically. “DIO, MY ARCH NEMESIS!” You exclaimed with a pointed finger.

“W-what?” The voice stammered out in shock. “No dude, it’s *HICCUP* me! Lyra!”

You examined the minty green horse with a skeptical eye, before scoffing. “YOU CAN’T FOOL ME DIO! I KNOW BEHIND THAT IMPRESSIVE DISGUISE LIES THE GREATEST THREAT KNOWN TO HUMANITY!”

The unicorn you were verbally assaulting blinked in response to your accusation, before a grim smirk spread across her maw.

“So… you’ve finally caught onto me, DIO!” ‘Lyra’ exclaimed with a sinister cackle.

!

“NANI?!” You exclaimed in shock, as the mare began to trot in an exceedingly menacing manner towards you.

“You are smarter than you appear, Anonymous! Now, TASTE OBLIVION!” She exclaimed, as she charged towards you.

SHIT!

You were caught totally off guard, and you have no way to defend yourself.

How could you, Anonymous, Destroyer of Cunts, be so reckless? How could you lose in this battle of wits?

You grimaced, and prepared yourself for your inevitable demise, knowing there was nothing that could be done to defend yourself having been thoroughly caught with your pants around your ankles.

Literally, the breeze between your knees reminded you.

You closed your eyes, and waited for the inevitable.

?

You felt a pair of hooves wrap around your waist, as you were pulled into a gentle embrace.

!

You opened your eyes, and looked down, spotting Lyra hugging you, as she looked up at you with a cheeky grin.

“I got you good, didn’t I, bro?” She said with a mischievous wink.

You breathed a sigh of relief, before returning the mare’s embrace in an epic show of pure, unadulterated bromance, eliciting a happy, drunken squeal from the pony in your arms.

“You fucking cunt!” You chastised her playfully with a smirk.

“You know you love me, brah!” She slurred out as she nuzzled at your abdomen affectionately. The mare looked up at you, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of the room as she gave you a pleasant smile. “Hey, you wanna come for a walk with me?”

“A walk? Bro, you trying to kill my gains?” You asked her incredulously.

“Come ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!” She pleaded, giving you a pair of puppy eyes that would make Appleburger or whatever her name is proud. “I just wanna go for a walksies! Get some fresh air! And, you know, talk!”

Heh.

Come.

“Talking is pretty gay, brah.” You teased the mare, playfully flicking the tip of her horn.

Lyra yelped quietly, stumbling backwards slightly. “Hey, hey, hey! Don’t be messin’ with my thing!”

“Hups.” You smirked as you took a sip from your drink. As you did so, you took a moment to think over Lyra’s offer. Talking was still gay, especially compared to a good party, but the party was more or less self sustaining at this point, and you’ve certainly fulfilled your mandatory daily partying quota as a follower of the Fonz.

Surely, taking a break and fucking off with your bro for a bit couldn’t hurt, right?

You shrugged, cracking a smile at the aquamarine unicorn before you.

“Sure, fuck it, I can dip with you for a bit. Let me go refresh my drink real quick, aight bro?”

Lyra’s grin seemed to grow three times the size it was prior, as you ran back to the bar, got your drink refilled, and grabbed a handily placed six pack for the road.

Together, your party of two navigated through the partying ponies between you and the front door, before making your way outside.

The brisk winter air sent a shiver down your spine as you polished off your drink, tossing the red solo cup away (which proceeded to explode offscreen), and cracking open one of the beers you were carrying. You took a sip from it as you and Lyra walked away from your new home, your destination unknown.

“FUCK IT’S COLD!” You blurted out like a retard, as you remembered that you were in the middle of winter.

Lyra giggled. “Yeah, you’re telling me, it’s pretty chilly out.” The unicorn at your side said, visibly beginning to shiver as the two of you walked down the street. “Maybe I should’ve brought a jacket or something…”

You took a moment to consider Lyra’s words, before shrugging off your thriller jacket, and draping it over the mare trotting by your side. “Here nigga, take this. I don’t want my bro catching a cold or anything, ya dig?”

The aquamarine unicorn gave you an inquisitive look, before shooting you an adoring smile. “You’re such a sweetheart, Anon.” Her smile morphed into a cheeky smirk. “Though, I don’t know why you wouldn’t just use your OP Gary Stu magicks to just teleport one of my hoodies on me or something.”

“It’s a matter of principle, baby.” You responded, ruffling her mane. She leaned into your hand, sighing contently as she let your fingers work their magic, scratching her behind her ears and around the base of her horn.

Suddenly, she pulled away from you. “Hey, I have an idea!” She exclaimed, before running off in a random direction.

!

As soon as she ran off, you felt a tingling feeling encompass your right hand. You looked down, spotting a hand shaped golden magical aura surrounding your hand, as you were violently yanked in the direction that Lyra had ran off in.

Narrowly avoiding losing your balance and being knocked on your face, you followed Lyra to the best of your abilities, running along in the direction that the magical hand had been pulling you in.

You really had no clue where she was heading, but frankly, you were too drunk to care at this point.

All that was really biting at you was all the gains all this running was going to kill.

After a short while, you and Lyra reached your final destination.

You rubbed at your aching wrist as the mare’s magic faded, and you took in the sight before you.

You found yourself standing before a small frozen lake, lined with snow covered trees, and a couple picnic areas on the outskirts. There wasn’t a soul in sight, just you, Lyra, and some snow flurries slowly making their way down to the ground from the sky above.

“I spotted this lake when I drunkenly stumbled through this neighborhood last night, and thought it looked really pretty being all frozen and shit.” The aquamarine unicorn explained to you as the two of you took in the sight before you. “Winter Wrap Up is in a couple days, so, it’s kind of our last chance to see it until next winter.”

“Cool find, bro.” You complimented the mare, patting her head with your non-aching hand. “Though, next time, maybe give me a bit of a heads up before dragging me in some random direction.”

“Heh… sorry, brah.” She shot you an embarrassed smile.

“It ain’t nuthin but a G’ thang, baby.” You waved it off. “So, what’s the game plan? We just chillin’?”

“Yeah man, something like that, I guess.” Lyra responded with a shrug.

“Killer.” With that, you used your OP Gary Stu magicks to summon a couple of folding lawn chairs. You took a few seconds to set up yours, before plopping down in it and relaxing, placing your now one beer down six pack in the snow between your chair and Lyra’s.

The mare eyed the second chair for a second, but as usual, opted to chill in your lap, arguably the best seat in the house.

It’s like she’s a cat or something.

You weren’t complaining, anyways. At least your bro’s admittedly pretty respectable ass could keep your dick warm.

The two of you sat there together, sipping on your beers and silently enjoying each other’s company, only being interrupted by the occasional contented sigh emanating from Lyra.

“This is nice…” Lyra broke the silence after what seemed like an eternity.

“Yeah fam, I suppose it is.” You said.

…

…

“You wanna go back to doing some hoodrat shit?” You asked, with a raised brow.

“Dear Celestia, I thought you’d never ask.” Lyra looked back at you with a smirk, before her face shifted. “Actually, uh, do you think we could stick around here for a bit longer? I’m having a bit of a moment.”

You shrugged, taking a moment to finish off your beer and toss the empty aside, before grabbing yourself a fresh one. “Sure man, I don’t mind, it’s not like hoodrat shit is going anywhere or anything, bro.”

“Cool.” She replied with a small grin. She grabbed the two of you a fresh pair of beers with her telekinesis, opening them both in unison, before handing one of them over to you. She took a long drink from her beer, before looking up at you, her golden iris’s filled with emotion . “Sorry, it’s just… we never really get to have these moments. I know things are complicated between the two of us, and you’re not really one for touchy feely shit, but…” She shied away from you, looking off towards the lake as she continued to speak. “...I still love you, man. Like I’ve never loved anybody else ever in my entire life.”

A deafening silence overtook the two of you as you took in the mare’s words, mulling them over in your head, that warm feeling in your chest only growing stronger the more you thought about it.

“Sorry…” Lyra eventually spoke up, her eyes firmly locked on the ground below the two of you. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Nah nigga,” You said, shooting her a reassuring smile, as you wrapped your arms around the mare that sat in your lap, pulling her into a tight, loving embrace. “I feel the same way. You know that. It’s just… like you said, I’m not one for touchy feely gay shit, ya dig homie?”

“Yeah… I dig it.” She smiled, shifting her body slightly so that she could return your embrace.

You run your fingers down the small of Lyra’s back, eliciting a drawn out sigh of happiness from her as you did so. “You’ve been a bro to me for about as long as I’ve been here, brah. I totally like-like you, fam.”

Lyra snorted. “Bro, did you just say you ‘like-like’ me? What are you, a school filly?” She asked, eyeing you as if she were a balding, baseball bat weilding comedian.

“Oops, sorry, I meant I’m in lesbians with you, baby.” You reiterated, with a toothy grin and a pair of thumbs up.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re lucky you have such a nice dick, brah.”

“You know it, bitch.” You said, your thumbs up turning into a pair of finger guns as you smirked at her confidently.

The mare buried her muzzle into your chest, as you felt her plant a line of small kisses up and down your chest. You felt a stupid grin tug at the corners of your mouth as you enjoyed her show of intimacy, squeezing the unicorn held in your arms tighter in a display of bromance.

Saying ‘I love you’ may not be gangster, but you would be a massive liar if you said holding Lyra didn’t get those butterflies in your tummy going like they just did a massive line of coke and chased it with some jagerbombs.

After what seemed like an eternity of the two of you sitting there in silence, wrapped up in each other’s frontal appendages as you enjoyed each other’s company, Lyra sat up, shooting you a smile as she checked her watch that you’ve never actually noticed her wearing before. “I think we’ve been out here enough, brah. How about we head back, and enjoy the rest of the party?”

“Fuck yeah, bro. You know I’m always down for more partying.” You replied, giving the mare an approving thumbs up.

With that, the two of you got up, and made your way home. Together, you, Lyra, and your various friends partied the night away, well into the early morning hours, until you finally passed out shortly after your third round of body shots with those two twin spa ponies.

Life was good.

Author's Notes:

I've been writing this party three parter for almost two years now. Time to move onto some fresh content.